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chaeiimimi · 3 years

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14 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞

Summary: you weren’t really sure how it happened, but an average student who wore glasses and spent all her extra time on bookstores and library managed to date your school’s volleyball club setter. On your 3rd year of law school, your ten years anniversary to be exact, he went home from Argentina and it was a week before he was going back, he broke up with you with the reason of he can't handle long-distance relationship anymore despite being at it for two years. You didn’t cry, you stood there as he was sobbing in front of you, you held his face in your palms and offered him a gentle smile, gentle enough to let him know you’ll support him and will always be watching him, together with the child in your stomach right now, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Oikawa's press conference broke the internet, who could've thought that the kind, lovely and innocent Sato Himari wasn't who she seemed to be?

The internet was quick to switch sides, of course some of Himari's avid fans were still on her side and were still pushing the fact that Oikawa was the father of the child and Y/n manipulated Oikawa to do the press conference, but the majority was on y/n's side

The night after the conference, there was a huge celebration at your house, since you and Himari decided to cook up a huge feast, Oikawa's teammates from Argentina stopped by and visited your home and had a few drinks, Iwaizumi, Akira and the Seijoh Volleyball team of your batch was also there

The night was filled with a lot of tone-deaf singing from Akira, Iwaizumi trying to save his girlfriend from embarassment and misserably failing, Kindaichi having to vomit every few minutes but still decided to drink more, the twins being passed around because people can't get enough of their cuteness until Haruto just fell asleep on Kunimi's lap and Hayato fell asleep on one of Oikawa's teammates lap, Maki and Issei slow dancing to Akira singing "Hello" by Adelle which was very off key, Oikawa taking a picture of them with his left hand while his right is securly wrapped around your waist, Oikawa's argentinian teammates speaking in spanish while Oikawa translates for the team and vice versa to his Japanese friends

It was indeed a fun time, it felt like your head was lifted from underwater, you can breath again, the heavy burden you've been carrying for the past few months evaporated into thin air

A week after that, you were able to file a case against Himari, although you didn't want to do it in the first place because she was still your cousin and she's also pregnant, but you were also a mother and you were only trying to save your kids and your family on what she can do in the future

It was also later on found out that she was mentally unstable and needed therapy before having her baby

Everything seems to be falling in place, and it was a week before Oikawa had to leave for Argentina to begin a new season

You laid in your bed face to face, his hot breath fanning your forehead while you nuzzle into his chest

"bubs?" he calls

"hm?"

"i'm going back to Argentina next week"

"yeah, I know you're gonna do well this season"

"for sure, I have to make you and the twins proud"

You chuckled

"win or lose, we're still proud of you Tooru"

He smiles as he pulls you closer

"I know this might be too fast, and I know it still hasn't been long since we got together, god this is the lamest way to say it, but, will you move with me? To Argentina"

You feel his breath hitch and his heartbeat quicken, was he nervous?

You looked up at him and smiled

"we'll follow you anywhere babe"

And just like that, the day after Oikawa was helping you pack your things, he also insists on only bringing your clothes and not empty out the whole house since he still plans on staying here during off seasons, which was why, unbeknownst to your knowledge, he bought the house

A week later, you flew to Argentina to start a new life with Oikawa and your sons

"papa rapido!" Hayato exclaims while clutching the bag filled with baby bottles

"Mama are you okay?" Haruto calmy rubs your back and stomach as you were sweating buckets and breathing deeply, a puddle of water in front of the chair you were sitting on

The twins are now six years old and grew up to be fine boys

You were now expecting your third baby and your first daughter, but you didn't expect to give birth to her in Japan, you travelled here during mid-pregnancy and Oikawa had a long off-season, but you weren't due in like a week or two and you were planning on returning to Argentina tomorrow

Looks like that's going to have to wait

"OIKAWA I AM NOT ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH IN THIS HOUSE" you screamed

Your husband came out of your room, multiple bags hung in his body, his lips were trembling and his hand clutching his phone was shaking

"y-yeah yeah l-let me call an a-ambulance"

He shakingly dials a number

It rings three times before somebody picks up

"hello!"

"hello pizza delivery how may I help you sir?"

...

What the fuck?

"did you just dial a pizza place while your wife is in labor?"

The twins looks at the door and cheered "Seijoh Uncles!" synchronised like they were looking at their saving grace

Lo and behold it was indeed the Seijon ex-volleyball team, right there to save the day

Maki and Watari took the bags hanging on Oikawa's body

"carry your wife to the van"

Oikawa mindlessly nods and carries you in bridal style to Issei's van, which by the way had a huge fucking funeral home logo on it

But it didn't matter to Oikawa, what mattered was to get his wife to deliver their baby girl safely

And soon a whole ass volleyball team except for Iwaizumi, a shouting pregnant woman and two hyperactive twins were able to fit in the funeral home van

Thank god it wasn't traffic 'cause you ain't never seen a funeral home van travel so fast it was practically flying

Your arrival caused a huge commotion, imagine fully grown men, stepping out of a funeral home vam, screaming "help she's giving birth!", two identical boys screaming "our sister is coming!" and a very pale husband who was carrying his pregnant wife with wobbly knees

What added even more to the commotion was an arrival of another van, it was black with a huge MSBY sign to it

It revealed a Bokuto in a maskot costume without the head, Akaashi holding his-well the maskot's hand, Atsumu and Hinata practically screaming "this is an emergency! A baby is about to come out of her!", Sakusa who was clutching all the baby bags looking very embarassed at his teammates while Iwaizumi was there, his trainer clothes crumpled, his hair dishevelled and carrying Akira who was practically going hysterical

The medical staffs were flabbergasted at the sight of a lot of tall, muscular man in the ER, they immediately led the two husbands to the place their wives on the bed and rolled them over to the same delivery room since there wasn't any vacant one

"hey Iwa, I don't mind if my daughter falls in love with your son"

Oikawa says out of nowhere, their screaming wives in the background

"shut up shittykawa...I don't mind either"

"YOU TWO BETTER STOP THAT BROMANCE MOMENT OF YOURS WE ARE LITERALLY DYING HERE" you screamed in so much pain

"IWAIZUMI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I'M NEVER GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU EVER AGAIN AHHHHH" Akira was having it worst since it was her first time

Oikawa was pale, because of the nervous and the fact that you were squeezing his hand so tightly it felt like it was going to break

While Iwaizumi was taking Akira's tugs, kisses, and curses like a champ

After a lot of abuse for Iwaizumi and Oikawa, they finally heard theur babies' cries which made it all worth it

Oikawa takes a look at your daughtee, his eyes watered as he cuts the umbilical cord

He went to you and peppered your sweaty and unconscious face with kisses

"thank you bubs, thank you for making me the happiest man on earth now"

I may or may not be posting special chapters. Anywayssssss~ i just got home from a fam reunion and I'm finally updating this BHSHSHSHS, i love you guys so much, thank you to all those who read this until the end😭💖 sending virtual hugs and kithes😘 and remember to stay happy, healthy and safe babeesss💗💓

Taglist:

@heiressofdexter @artsamber @seashellmichellee @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @misssugarless @minnieminnie00-got7 @karakento @maizumis @torus-wiife @fiaesco @stormcastello @tintina365 @sakusasimpbot @falconfeather23435 @jojowantstocry @pluviophilefangirl @qualitygiantshoepsychic

#oikawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #oikawa tooru #oikawa x y/n #haikyuu fanfiction #oikawa tooru x reader

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superredcorp · 4 years

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RED DAUGHTER FANFIC - What if she survived?

Lena and Kara sat waiting by Linda's side as the Horun-El was injected into her body's system. They were hopeful that this would finally help.

Her body must have been so weakend by the amount of Kryptonite that the yellow sunlight had only been a temporary solution. But the Horun-El should by all technicalities be a long term help.

And after a while, she did finally start to move. Her eyelids fluttered a little. Then suddenly she frowned. Her eyes opened a little and she looked down at her arm. When she saw the needle in her skin and the kryptonite, making it possible to inject her in the first place, her eyes widened in panic, looking like a scared wild animal.

She was still disoriented and thus didn't realise she was safe and sound on a medical bed at the DEO. She felt transported back into the dark room, where she had been held captive - thinking she was back in the grasp of her kidnappers.

She freaked out, struggling hard until her arm was broken free from the needle and jumped to her feet, rapidly looking around with hazy, wide opened eyes.

Kara carefully approached, tried to calm her down but Linda didn't seem to recognize her in her panic and pushed her back so that she flew a few feet until crashing into a table.

Linda whipped around to Lena who was standing still in shock. Linda's hand found its way around Lena's neck and she raised her into the air. Lena gargled, trying to form a sentence, trying to stop her as her hands fumbled at Linda's grip, which was holding her with an iron handle.

But of course she was nothing against the kryptonian.

The region around Linda's eyes become red as she slowly pulled up her heat vision.

Kara screamed "No!".

She was about to run forward and tackle her sister when Lena finally choked out a desperate "Lin."

This seemed to trigger something in the blonde.

Her eyes returned to it's normal state - still panicked but now for a different reason.

"No.", she whispered terrified. "Lena."

She let go abruptly and Lena fell to the ground, coughing violently and gasping for air.

Kara stormed forward now, hugging Lena and worriedly asking if she was okay.

Linda had meanwhile rushed backwards, until she hit the wall where she had broken down sobbing. She mumbled the same sentence over and over. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to."

Lena coughed a few more times, taking a deep breath, desperate for air to fill her lungs. "I'm fine.", she croaked. "You need to help Lin."

"Lee-"

"Go. I'm fine.", Lena repeated, sternly.

Kara nodded, pressing a kiss to Lena's temple and then speeding over to her absolutely devastated sister who was hysterically sobbing.

"Hey, hey, Lin- I'm here, it's okay.", Kara said softly, wanting to comfort her. She put her arms around her, trying to calm her down but she barely reacted as she just kept crying and whispering apologies.

When Lena finally got the coughing under control, she crawled over to them, settling down next to them. When Linda realised that, she looked over at her. Her eyes landed on the red marks on Lena's throat which were her fault. She just started crying even more.

Lena ran her hand through Linda's hair. "It's alright. You didn't mean to do that. I understand.", Lena said softly. "Hey, look at me, I'm okay. I'm okay."

Linda tightly shut her eyes, shaking her head while rocking herself back and forth. Thick streams of tears rolling out of her tightly shut eyes. "I'm sorry.", she mumbled through the heartbreaking sobs. "I'm so sorry."

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spaceskam · 5 years

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I don't know if you've ever listened to When you're ready by Shawn Mendes but everytime I listen to it I can only think of Malex ♥️ "Even 10 years from now if you haven't found somebody, i promise i'll be around" "Baby, tell me when you're ready I'm waitin'" could you maybe write about it?

this is quite literally the most malex thing i have ever heard. every goddamn line of this song is malex related. Thank you so much for the prompt and I’m sorry it took me a million years!

ao3

“I don’t understand why you’re mad at me!”

Alex stopped in his tracks, slowly turning to face him. He looked genuinely hurt and confused and maybe one drink more, Alex would’ve stooped to his level of transparency.

“Are you serious? You don’t know?”

“No,” Michael gushed, tears welling up in his eyes as he raked his fingers through his hair. God, he was wasted. “All I know is you told me you only wanted to be my friend and nothing more. Then you lied to me so I didn’t get to be with my mom. Then you came to me and, and started doing the thing where you’re super sweet so you can fuck me and leave me. And I would’ve let you!”

Alex clenched his jaw, taking each blow as best he could.

“Isobel helped me see I needed to protect myself. So I went to Maria before I could give into you! The one time I protect myself from you and you’re mad at me! Stop it! I can barely take seeing you, I can’t take this! Stop!” he screamed.

Alex licked his lips, taking a slow and regulated breath as he stared at the broken man in front of him. He was full-on crying at this point, pulling at his hair and Alex was so thankful for his military training. That was the only thing keeping him on his feet.

“Michael,” Alex said softly, taking a step forward. Maybe he was hallucinating, but Michael seemed to stare crying even harder. “Is that really what you feel happened?”

Michael didn’t answer right away, a million emotions washing over his face. Alex took another step forward. This was one of those stupid moments where he had to be the strong one. He hoped he’d be able to cash it all in one day when he inevitably broke.

“What are you mad at me?” Michael asked again, weaker this time. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that he knew why. He wanted to hear it. He was scared and he needed to hear it.

Alex rested his palms on Michael’s warm, wet cheeks and the man instantly melted into the touch. He wiped his tears away, lifting his hand just long enough to push his hair back. The stench of alcohol and acetone and weed was suffocating, coming off him in droves. Alex had to wonder if they were letting him get this fucked up or if he was sneaking it. He didn’t know which was worse.

“Come talk to me when you’re sober, okay?” Alex whispered, continuing to wipe away his tears, “I am upset with you, but that doesn’t mean I’m walking away. I’m here when you need me no matter what.” Michael sloppily felt for Alex’s wrists before holding on tight.

“You just were. You just tried to leave me, I saw you,” Michael whimpered. Alex sighed, closing his eyes to try and build up his walls a bit better. It was difficult. Michael had gone from kissing Maria to being putty in Alex’s hands in less than an hour. Sure, everything in his system played a part, but, deep down, he knew that wasn’t the reason. Michael was lost and hurting and Alex could wade in the water for him.

It’d already been a decade‒what was a little more?

“Come see me when you’re sober,” Alex repeated, “We’ll talk about anything and everything.”

“Then you’ll stop being mad at me?” he asked. Alex couldn’t answer. He honestly had no idea when he would stop feeling so horrible. He didn’t know what would erase the image of them kissing from his mind.

“I’ll get you are Lyft to take you home, okay? You’re too drunk to drive,” he whispered. When he tried to pull away, Michael held him tight.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” he pleaded. A mournful whine brew in the back of Alex’s throat at the desperation on Michael’s face. He so badly wanted to say yes, to bring him home and wrap him up and fall asleep to the sound of his breathing. But that wasn’t an option, not tonight. Not when Michael had a girlfriend and would regret the choice in the morning.

“Not tonight,” Alex insisted. Michael’s bloodshot eyes scanned over his face, slowly welling up with tears all over again.

“I messed up bad, didn’t I? That’s why you’re mad?” he asked. God, this was torture.

“Michael, just… we’ll talk about it over later. I promise,” Alex said, fishing for his phone to get him a ride home. As much as he wanted to just take him himself, he didn’t actually trust himself not to stay if Michael asked again.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I messed up. I’m sorry.” Michael’s words were a slurring, slobbery mess between sobs. Alex quickly pulled him into a tight hug, letting the man divulge into borderline hysterical sobbing. Honestly, Alex wasn’t sure what he thought he messed up. He’d already made it clear he hadn’t understood.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Alex said, shushing him like he would a fussy baby.

“No! It’s not! Stop hugging me, stop, like, like, consoling me! I messed up!” Michael made no move to pull away, even as he told Alex to stop, and for a moment it felt like a horrible guilt trip.

“Michael, st‒”

“No, listen,” Michael said, sniffling as he pulled away just enough to rest his forehead on Alex’s, “I-I’m gonna come, like you said. I wanna talk. I want… I’m sorry. Please, let me fix it.” And, god, how nice it would’ve been if Alex could’ve accepted that. But it was impossible to miss the way his eyes refused to focus and the way he had to steady himself while standing still. Michael was so fucked up, he probably wouldn’t even remember this in the morning.

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?” Alex couldn’t help it. All he was hearing was empty apologies.

“No,” Michael admitted, “But I know I hurt you and that hurts me more than anything. I spent ten years waiting for you to come back to me and letting you hurt me that I… I didn’t realize how bad it feels. I know you felt this bad. I know it. I see it. I feel it. I feel you.”

“Guerin…”

“No! Pinky swear we’ll talk,” Michael urged, holding up a pinky. Alex sighed and tried to avoid it, but Michael insisted. He looped his pinky through the other man’s, watching it bring a weird sort of calm over him. “Now we gotta kiss it to make it official.” Michael kissed his hand and Alex reluctantly mimicked him if only to get him to stop. “Good. Good.”

Michael was petting at his chest, wobbling and sniffling all the way. The severity of his behavior made Alex consider bringing him home anyways and having him sleep on the couch so he could check on him. The only issue with that would be dealing with the possible backlash from it that he really didn’t want. But this was Michael, this was family, and he needed help. Even if Michael was hurting him more than he could even comprehend, he was still going to be there.

No matter what anyone thought, Alex had never been good at leaving him.

“C’mon, you’re gonna sleep on my couch tonight, okay?”

Michael let out the world’s biggest sigh of relief.

Alex woke up to an empty house.

His leg was aching due to his stupid decision to sleep in the chair in the living room. He’d considered going to bed, but he couldn’t stop worrying that something would happen to Michael. He had too much shit in his system. While they didn’t know how much it took for an alien to overdose, he wasn’t eager to find out.

Yet, when he woke up the next morning, his couch was empty and so was the kitchen and the bathroom. The only proof that Michael had even stepped foot into the house and spent the night on the couch was the muddy bootprint plastered to the porch and the note on the coffee table that read: ‘thanks’.

As the day went on, Alex wondered if Michael would ever come back to talk. Or, honestly, why he hadn’t stayed to have a talk. Part of him hoped he simply forgot that they had that conversation and it wasn’t that he just didn’t want to. There was so much that he had to say, especially now that it was clear that Michael had misunderstood his intention and was now self-medicating dangerously. Alex wanted to help him if he’d let him.

The day dragged slowly, seeming to slow down even more whenever he bothered to check his phone or check to see if Michael had maybe driven up. Alex wouldn’t lie, it hurt a bit that he hadn’t stayed. Actually, it worried him more than it hurt. Why had he been so scared to stay?

A lot of things were worrying about him.

Once it was dark outside, Alex decided to go back to the Wild Pony. Anxiety bit at his stomach, telling him with certainty that he’d find Michael with Maria and they’d look happy like they had last night. However, Alex could suffer through seeing that when he knew that no one cared enough to address him being messed up beyond recognition. He’d seen them kiss, he knew that Maria had to taste it on his lips and smell it on his breath. If she wasn’t going to take care of him, then he would.

The Pony was bustling and still, Michael was right where Alex knew he’d be, sitting alone at the bar. His head was bowed against the beer bottle and he didn’t react whenever Maria would pass by and pat his head. Alex took a deep breath.

“Hey, Cowboy,” he greeted softly as he took a seat beside Michael. He was wearing the same thing he’d had on last night and smelled of the same substances. Tonight, he hadn’t even bothered hiding the flask of acetone that protruded out of his back pocket.

Michael turned to face him just a little bit, confusion written all over his tired features. Alex offered a small smile and asked the bartender that wasn’t Maria for two glasses of water. Michael never stopped staring.

“Why are you here?” Michael asked.

“I told you, I’m here when you need me,” Alex paused, giving him a once over, “Even when you don’t ask for me.”

Michael’s eyes pooled with tears, but they didn’t fall tonight. Instead, he blinked them away. He nodded.

“Drink this instead,” Alex insisted, pushing the glass of water towards him. Michael eyed it warily.

“You still mad at me?” Michael asked. Alex snorted.

“Yes. But, like I told you, I want to talk to you when you’re sober. So drink this,” Alex pressed. Michael took a deep breath but complied. It didn’t matter that Maria was watching them with jealous eyes or that a few other people in the bar were whispering about them. Michael was trying.

Alex smiled.

Alex jolted awake at the sound of his phone ringing.

He’d done his damnedest to always stay on high alert the past few weeks. Michael had been heavily relying on him, using him as a massive crutch to help him try and get sober. It was working for the most part, but there had been a few nights where he’d been left alone and he’d call Alex, drunk and apologetic and asking to be picked up from the Wild Pony. Alex didn’t blame Maria, he knew she was busy with all of her own issues, but it did rub him the wrong way that she wasn’t more forceful with keeping him away from the bar.

But she was his girlfriend, not his caretaker.

“You okay? It’s three in the morning, where are you?” Alex asked instantly, reaching for his prosthetic already.

“I’m fine, I’m at home. Just… need a distraction ‘s all,” Michael said softly on the other end of the line. Alex let go of his leg, taking a moment before he relaxed back in the bed.

“Okay,” Alex said, “How was your day?”

“Good, good. I worked with Liz for a while. Had lunch with Maria. Went to see Max in the pod,” he listed. Alex closed his eyes to the sound of his voice. It was almost embarrassing how stupid he could be for Michael Guerin, a man with a girlfriend.

“Sounds eventful. You guys any closer to figuring it out?” Alex asked. There was rustling on the other side of the phone as Michael most likely tried to get comfortable in his bed.

“Well, we were talking with Valenti and we think that we got him in the pod soon enough that we might be able to revive him with more human methods. Like, with steroids and a defibrillator to jump-start his system enough for him to get to where Iz and I could heal the rest of the way. Liz and I are working on enhancing a steroid to inject him with,” Michael explained, his tone more hopeful than he’d been in weeks. Months. Maybe years, honestly.

“That’s good, I hope it works. If you ever need my help with anything, I’m here. I know I’m not a super fantastic scientist, but I can do my best,” Alex offered. Michael let out a breathy little laugh.

“You’re so smart, Alex, there’s probably a ton of things you can help with. I’m just… I’m just glad you chose to help me. I really appreciate you and everything you do for me, Alex,” Michael said softly. Alex could feel his heart thump in his chest and his stomach tighten.

It was so weird how much he’d found himself loving Michael all over again. He didn’t think he could love the man more, but the closer they got without having sex as a distraction and with so much trust and communication, the more he found himself dizzy with infatuation. Even if Michael didn’t reciprocate it.

“What are friends for.”

“So, did you have fun on your date?”

Alex furrowed his brow at Michael’s dry tone and annoyed face even though he literally had his arm around his girlfriend.

“Uh, yeah, it wasn’t really a date,” Alex chuckled, grabbing one of the fries from Michael’s plate and dipping it into Maria’s milkshake. Maria rolled her eyes.

“It looked like a date,” Michael said firmly. Alex licked his lips as he thought back to his Grindr hookup from the night before. They’d met at the Wild Pony and played pool for a bit until they both decided they weren’t too sketchy and went back to Alex’s place where they had some pretty good sex before he left at 2 in the morning.

As much as he loved Michael and he was willing to wait, he wasn’t about to go celibate, especially when Micahel was in a relationship. There was just no point. Well, maybe there was no point in dating apps when he knew nothing would come close to what he felt with Michael. But, fuck, he deserved something while he waited.

“No, that was just one of Alex’s fuck toys, you just usually don’t see them because you’re with Liz,” Maria explained and the crease between Michael’s eyebrows got more prominent, “How was this one?”

“Good,” Alex answered, keeping it short. He knew he didn’t want to hear the details of Michael and Maria’s sex life, so he wasn’t about to put Michael through that torture.

But Maria was feeling extra pushy tonight.

“Oh, come on, tell me more than just that!” she laughed. Alex had been trying his damnedest to rekindle his friendship with Maria even though he still felt more than a little animosity towards her. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t her fault completely, she didn’t know the full story, she didn’t know what Michael was to him. On top of that, it didn’t feel fair to welcome Michael back with open arms and then just reject her friendship completely. No matter how much that little voice in his head told him the opposite.

So, to keep it at a happy medium, he pretty much only talked about his random hookups. It made for safe conversation. They didn’t have to talk about Michael, they didn’t have to discuss his past relationships. He just had to talk about the guy with the six-pack who did situps in the bathroom for twenty minutes before sex and tired himself out too much to even be good in bed. Alex just hadn’t anticipated that she’d be talking about it in front of Michael.

“I mean, there’s not much to tell. He was hot, we hooked up,” Alex said simply, trying not to look Michael’s way. Still, he saw the way his jaw clenched and he looked down, letting his arm fall from Maria’s shoulders.

“That doesn’t sound safe,” Michael said. Alex gave a small smile.

“I’m safe, don’t worry. It’s just something to pass the time, make sure I don’t work myself too hard,” Alex promised honesty. He nodded, but it was clear it bothered him.

Alex would be lying if he said that didn’t give him a little hope.

“Are you sure?”

“You need practice, don’t you?”

Alex responded to Michael’s slightly terrified face with the most comforting smile he could manage. He was on his couch, his shirt open, and a giant scratch on display. He’d stupidly been trying to get something out of a tree and misstepped which caused him to slide down the tree a little ways and give him a virtually superficial scratch across his abdomen. It burned a little when he tried to clean it, but that was it.

So he called Michael and asked if he wanted to test his healing abilities.

“But I don’t want to hurt you. What if I kill you instead? Max isn’t here to bring you back. I-I don’t wanna hurt you more,” Michael said, bouncing with nerves. His eyebrows were pulled together adorably in concern. Alex leaned forward with a smile.

“I trust you,” he said firmly, making sure to look Michael in the eyes. And he did trust him, trusted him more than he trusted anyone else in the world. Michael was his family and he meant everything. Especially in the last few months of getting closer and closer and closer.

“Okay,” Michael said after a moment, nodding his head. Alex leaned against his couch and Michael kneeled between his legs. He made sure to keep his breathing regular as Michael’s warm hand laid over his heart. “You ready?”

“Yes.”

And he waited a moment. And nothing happened.

“Okay, wait, I need to talk to you about something before I do this because, from what Liz says, after I put this handprint on you, you’re gonna like… feel what I feel, and I don’t want to have this conversation with you being influenced by my feelings,” Michael said, pulling back sitting on the coffee table. Alex sat up a little straighter. “You told me a couple of months ago to come to talk to you when I was sober. Well… I’m sober.”

Alex licked his lips and silently cursed Michael for not giving him a head’s up that he wanted to have this conversation today. He would’ve planned it out better.

“Uh, well, what do you wanna talk about? I mean… I know that you misunderstood everything that happened before you went and kissed Maria, but I don’t feel like I’m completely innocent in that. I know I’m not good with my words and I also know that you’ve been so fucked over so many times that you’re going to take everything as a rejection even if it isn’t. But I think the main this is that when I came to you in your airstream after Caufield… I wasn’t trying to fuck you and leave or giving mixed signals or acting out of pity. Seeing what my family was capable of and seeing what could’ve happened to you really put things in perspective. I didn’t want to waste time, I wanted to be with you. When I came to you, that was the real deal. I wanted a relationship for real and I was willing to put you above my fears because I realized being without you was scarier than anything my father could do to me. I just had shit timing, like always,” Alex admitted, his chest heavy and his face on fire. He was too terrified to look up at Michael’s face.

“But… But you said that you wanted to just be friends, that I was too much of a criminal for‒”

“Hey, no, I didn’t say that. Fuck anything that says I can’t be with you because we’re too different,” Alex said and he hoped Michael understood he meant more than just the Criminal/Airman situation, “And I never meant just friends. I wanted to get to know you, to start over without all the pain and have something based on trust and not just fear and lust. You know, kinda like we’ve done now.”

When Alex got the courage to look up at Michael, he found him staring at the floor in confusion. Alex considered reaching out to him but decided against it.

“But, at Caulfield, you…”

“I meant everything I said at Caulfield. Just a shit time to tell you I love you,” Alex said. Michael looked up at him with a face not too unlike that night months prior when he was desperate for Alex to stop being so mad at him. “Look, I am sorry. I know it didn’t help that I kept walking away and I should’ve made sure you understood what I meant. That’s my fault and I’m sorry for being so angry at you for making a decision to protect yourself from me. I know I didn’t give you enough reasons to feel like I was all in.”

Things were silent for a moment and Alex wondered if maybe he’d said too much. At the end of the day, Michael was still with Maria. Just because Michael was it for Alex didn’t mean that was reciprocated. Love confessions were a little heavy.

“I’m sorry too,” Michael said, clasping his hands together as he leaned forward on his knees. Alex gave him a small smile.

“Do you know what you’re apologizing for this time?” Alex said playfully, hoping to lighten the mood just a little bit. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said, licking his lips as he took a deep breath, “I’m sorry for hurting you. Whenever I did that, I had just had so much shit happen and I just… I wanted something that didn’t hurt. And I’m sorry for having issues with you hooking up with people too, I know that it’s not my business.”

“It’s okay. I understand,” Alex said, offering a smile. But Michael took another heavy breath and looked him in the eye.

“But mostly I’m sorry I took advantage of you.”

Michael’s shoulders relaxed as if relieved to get that off his chest. However, something sat heavy in Alex’s stomach at the unexpected words.

“What do you mean?” Alex asked softly. Michael chewed on his bottom lip, casting his eyes down as he messed with his fingers.

“I mean… I’ve known you for, what, seventeen, eighteen years? I know you, Alex, I know you struggle with your words and conveying your emotions‒which isn’t your fault. Your dad didn’t allow you to and that’s fucked. Point is, I knew it. I knew it and I still used it against you, used it as an excuse to hurt you. Then, afterward, I basically guilted you into helping me. I made you put your own feelings to the side to take care of me and… fuck, I’m sorry, Alex. I promise, I’m gonna be better about taking care of you and your feelings. I promise,” Michael explained. Alex managed a little smile as his heart thudded harder in his chest.

He never blamed Michael for everything that happened, but damn was that good to hear. He wasn’t even completely sure why it felt so good. Maybe it was just nice to hear he wasn’t wrong in being hurt by the events.

“Thank you,” Alex replied sincerely. Michael gave him a sweet smile, nodding and gave Alex encouragement to say his own piece. “And, Michael, I just want you to know… I’m here.”

Michael smiled. “I know.”

“No, I mean… I’m here for you,” Alex said and Michael’s smiled started to drop, “I kept you waiting for a decade, so… It’s my turn to wait. And I’ll wait as long as I need to. I love you and I want to be with you and I’m willing to wait.” Michael gulped.

“Alex.”

“And I’m not trying to make you feel bad or force you to choose or anything. If Maria makes you happy, then I’m not going to stand in the way. You can take all the time you need, I’m not trying to push. I just know that you’re it for me and I also know this shit began with me never making that clear. So, just, whenever you’re ready, I’m waiting. Always, no matter what, no matter who you might see me with,” he explained. Michael tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, staring with worried eyes. But Alex wasn’t worried. He didn’t expect anything in return. He just needed him to know.

“No pressure?” Michael asked. Alex grinned and help up his hand, sticking out his pinky.

“None at all. I promise.” Michael managed a smile, looping his pinky with Alex’s and they each kissed their own fists.

“Then let’s get you healed.”

Michael moved closer, kneeling between Alex’s legs once again. He locked eyes for a moment, silently asking for permission which he received immediately in the form of an encouraging nod. Michael gently placed his hand over Alex’s heart again.

His palm started warming up slowly and, along with it, waves of comfort began coursing through Alex’s body. He let his eyes close as it did and, the more he let himself fall into the feeling, the stronger it got. It was Michael that he was feeling, Michael’s overwhelming affection and undiluted, unconditional love. It got stronger and stronger until that’s all Alex could feel or think just love

love

It was overwhelming and it was becoming harder and harder for Alex to keep his composure. It was deep, embedded in his bones. Especially when the feeling grew, blossoming into pure pleasure. His mind and body slowly unraveled, succumbing to whatever Michael was filling him with until he couldn’t think anymore.

And then Michael pressed harder and a determined scream filled the air.

Alex lost all sense of self-control at that point. His back arched into Michael’s touch, his jaw dropping open in a pathetic, deep moan. It was something akin to the world’s most satisfying orgasm. Which had to be when Michael snatched his hand away.

Alex felt dizzy at the sharp loss of contact, most of the pleasure in his system disappearing with it. He could still feel it deep in him and he could feel Michael in his mind in a way he struggled to understand. It was warm and comforting and loving and, had Michael wanted this to lead to sex, Alex would’ve had his jeans on the floor before he could finish his sentence.

But Michael didn’t want it to lead to sex, in fact, he couldn’t seem to breathe as he fell back against the coffee table. Alex did his best to clear his mind, to push away how turned on he was so he could focus on Michael.

“I’m sorry,” he said instantly because what else do you say when you get off on your ex-boyfriend platonically touching you. Michael still couldn’t catch his breath. Alex searched his mind for what he’d been told about healing. “Are you gonna throw up? Do you need me to get a bucket?”

Michael’s heavy breathing started to pick up and he was staring at Alex with wide eyes that almost seemed offended. That was a quick way to shove away all of the good vibes he’d just gotten and it became more apparent that Michael’s presence in his mind seemed to be just as panicked.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here, I’ve got you. Look, it worked,” Alex said softly, moving closer to the man on the floor. Alex hesitantly went to run a hand through Michael’s hair. His eyes closed to the feeling, so Alex kept it there, massaging his scalp and letting it soothe him just a little bit. It was clear he was just as overwhelmed as Alex had felt, just in a different way. “Talk to me.”

Michael froze for a moment before scrambling to his feet.

“I have to go. I’ll be back.”

And then he was gone, Alex’s door left wide open in his wake.

Alex didn’t hear from Michael for the rest of the night, but he didn’t let himself worry too much. If there was anything that came out of having Michael’s handprint on his skin was that he was more sure than ever that they were meant to be. Even if Michael was with Maria right now, Alex could feel the love Michael had for him and it was enough to have him strut into the Project Shepard bunker with a helpless grin on his face.

“Well, now everything makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

Kyle was waiting for him in the bunker already, sitting in one of the chairs and raising an eyebrow high. Alex couldn’t even let his smile fall at that.

“Guerin broke up with Maria last night,” Kyle said. Alex’s heart started to beat a little harder.

“Really?”

“Jeez, Alex, you could at least try to not look so happy about it,” he chuckled. Alex shrugged and went to take his own seat. He wanted to feel bad for Maria since he knew she was probably upset, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Michael was going to be his and he wasn’t going to fuck it up this time.

Things were falling into place.

“So, what happened?” Kyle asked. Alex pulled his partially open shirt to the side, flashing him the handprint. Kyle’s eyes went wide.

“It was just a scratch, but he wanted to practice. And we had a good talk about us and when he healed me, we sort of just… felt each other. He sort of freaked out and left, but he said he’d be back so I guess I should’ve assumed he was going to Maria,” Alex said, shrugging. A stupid smile found his face again once he realized that Michael had taken those feelings so seriously.

“You’re not worried that he freaked out?” Kyle asked. Alex shrugged again. He didn’t really know how to explain it. He could still feel Michael and, even though it was a lot, it was overall positive. He seemed to be feeling good, if not just a little confused about the events. He understood that he just needed a moment.

“No. I… I can feel him. He’s okay,” Alex offered. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Great. More psychic alien bullshit.”

Michael was pacing the front porch of the cabin whenever Alex got home that night.

Alex made sure to school the smile on his face before he approached him. He didn’t want to overwhelm him anymore or show that he was too excited about what might happen. Michael might not even want to jump into a relationship even if he did just get perfect evidence for just how much Alex loved him. He couldn’t get his hopes up too high.

“Hey,” Alex called to him. Michael stood taller and spun to face him, eyes wide and nerves rippling off his body.

“Hi,” he said, “Can we talk?”

“Of course,” Alex agreed, opening the door and leaving it open for Michael to follow. They didn’t even reach the couch before Michael started talking.

“Yesterday, you… That was a lot,” Michael breathed. Alex smiled and nodded his head, sitting on the couch. Michael sat on the coffee table in front of him just like the day before. “You actually love me.” Alex sputtered a laugh.

“I told you beforehand that I love you.”

“I didn’t realize how serious you were!”

Alex shook his head at Michael and the two of them smiled. Michael’s knee was bouncing and he was moving in between smiling and biting on his lip. Alex fought the urge to bite it himself.

“I broke up with Maria.”

“I heard.”

“I love you too.”

“I know, I can feel it.”

They again fell silent, smiling wider than before. Alex was feeling even more hopeful than before. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on Michael, to call him his boyfriend and to love him as he deserved. And he couldn’t wait to be loved as he deserved.

“I care about your feelings, Alex. Whenever you want to have an epic emotional breakdown like I have, like, weekly, I’ll be there. I’m gonna be here to pick up the pieces just like you do for me. Because you’re my family,” Michael said and Alex wondered if he’d created a list of things to clarify before they finally got back together.

“Can’t wait,” Alex laughed, “You’re my family too.” Michael took a deep breath.

“And we’re gonna be for real this time. All trust and communication, right?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Are you ready?” Michael asked, “Because I’m ready. I can’t keep you waiting for a decade, I need you too much.”

If the world exploded and ended at that moment, Alex wouldn’t have noticed. He wouldn’t have cared. Nothing else mattered except for Michael and Alex and love.

“I’m ready.”

Michael surged forward without much of a warning, pressing Alex into the couch with a desperate kiss. Alex’s body lit on fire as he pulled him closer, melting into everything that was Michael Guerin. It wasn’t that much different than the night before, that absolute feeling of euphoria and love and affection and love and happiness and love and love and love.

It was the beginning of forever.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico fic #michael guerin fic #alex manes fic #requests #alexs pov #6k word #other tags probably that i can't think of

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hmsindecision · 7 years

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So dumb but you're like the only radfem blog I follow. I was arguing with a man about an article called Young men giving up on marriage: 'women aren't women anymore.' Anyways I said something like "Marriage isn't inherently feminist. Yeah it's changed because people marry for love but it's still flawed. And then I tacked on, "And the big reason I'm bisexual is because men have this attitude. Then he said I wasn't listening to him. I said "I was but he's still kinda sexist." 1

Continued: And then I basically listed problems like rape, wife beating, FGM, child marriage, and stuff like that. Granted, I should have left it at that but he said “You make no sense except to be pissed off at the world and wants self pleasure. And yes birth control should be mandatory for women like you. Better yet they should cut off your genitals because you cant control the hormones coming out of them. God help you.” Like excuse me? I may have been glib and disrespectful but I wasn’t violent. 2 And then it devolved into him ranting about how he lost custody of his daughter. And how his ex suddenly got a career and found a new man. And basically my point was his problems aren’t feminist issues. He claimed to have been raped and abused by his ex. I want to have sympathy but his comment about my bits were uncalled for and unfortunately I have little patience for that type of person. And he ranted about my hormones and said I hope I find Jesus. Idk what that truly meant. 3 Given the context, what should I do about men who claim that the courts treated him unfairly and that he’s been abused by his wife but then do male things like go over the top with the insults? I get that I should state my points more strategically. And am I evil for thinking that while he may have been treated badly by his wife I don’t fully buy into him saying that his ex literally kidnapped the child? That he simply couldn’t prove in court that he was the more fit parent? As sad as it is? 5———————–The short answer? It isn’t actually your job to do anything. He crossed a huge line when he said you needed “mandatory birth control” and mentioned extreme violence towards your genitals and dismissed you as hormonal. He proved in that moment that he was never arguing with you in good faith, and had in fact believed you to be beneath him before the conversation even began.

Fact is also, given that he brings up his ex moving on and having a career, is glib and gleeful about violence towards women, and is convinced that the courts were simply biased against him… the odds are really high that this man was abusive towards his ex-wife. There may even have been events where he was struck or an altercation because physical, but odds are good that this man spent a lot of time abusing her for things to get to that point. Even studies that show men as victims of abuse often see them citing things like “lack of a hot meal on the table” as examples of abuse. And I have personally listened abusers in different contexts describe themselves as the victims of abuse even as the examples they give show that they are absolutely the perpetrators–I even had one man break down sobbing saying that he was abused by women “not appreciating his money”. I’d tell you what he did to the women he dated but I’m sure you can imagine it was not on that paltry of a level.

That being said, he also responded to systemic issues with his personal experience. Even if his personal experience is absolutely terrible, he is still posing a view of his personal experience as more important and relevant to statistically huge groups of women going through systemic issues like FGM. I have friends who are male rape victims and NEVER have any of them attempted to downplay the effect of rape on women as an epidemic. In fact, most of them are staunch allies because of the help and resources from women that they received in the wake of that. The average (the majority) of people that work in domestic violence and rape counseling and funding are women.

And child custody?

Here is a huge list of studies and excerpts from them, but here are some highlights:

Noting that negative stereotypes about women encourage judges to disbelieve women’s allegations of child sexual abuse. Gender bias problems are particularly acute in family courts, and most problematic when sexual abuse of children is alleged in custody or visitation proceedings. Negative stereotypes about women encourage judges to disbelieve women’s allegations of child sexual abuse. The report stated: “One striking example is the tendency to doubt the credibility of women who make these allegations, and to characterize them as hysterical or vindictive even when medical evidence corroborates a claim of child abuse.” (Danforth and Welling)

Noting that “Many men file proceedings to contest custody as a way of forcing an advantageous property settlement… . Contrary to public perception, men are quite successful in obtaining residential custody of their children when they actually seek it.” (Florida Supreme Court Study Commission)

Massachusetts was one of the first states to document the gender bias against women in family courts. This court-initiated study expressly found that “our research contradicted [the] perception” that “there is a bias in favor of women in these decisions.” Moreover, it found that “in determining custody and visitation, many judges and family service officers do not consider violence toward women relevant.” The Court’s study further found that “the courts are demanding more of mothers than fathers in custody disputes” and that “many courts put the needs of noncustodial fathers above those of custodial mothers and children.” (Massachusetts Supreme Court Study)

The Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence carried out a two year study of 57 battered women who had gone through a custody battle in Arizona family courts. In the Arizona study, 72% of the mothers said they were not given an adequate chance to tell the court their side of the story and 41% were ordered into mediation though the court knew there was violence. (p. 48)The survey found that courts awarded joint or sole custody to the alleged batterers 56-74% of the time (depending on the county). Many of these cases involved documented child abuse or adult abuse.

A multi-year, four-phase study using qualitative and quantitative social science research methodologies by the Wellesley Centers for Women. Battered women reported having to participate in wrenching custody battles with their ex-spouse to keep their children. They noted that their problems were aggravated and sometimes prolonged in the courts or by social service agencies. The battered women testified that they have been wrongly perceived as hysterical and have been accused of lying. The research found widespread adoption of “parental alienation syndrome,” and found “a consistent pattern of human rights abuses” by family courts, including failure to protect battered women and children from abuse, discriminating against and inflicting degrading treatment on battered women, and denying battered women due process. Histories of abuse of mother and children were routinely ignored or discounted. They also reported that evidence of abuse was often ignored, judges were insensitive, and guardians ad litem - the court-assigned advocates for children - made poor assessments. Domestic violence advocates reported that women who fear the family court process stay in abusive situations instead of seeking help. (Human Rights Tribunal on Domestic Violence and Child Custody)

You were arguing with a disrespectful, violent misogynist. That’s the crux of it. No matter how you made your points, no matter how many facts you brought up, his quick descent into graphic and violent language shows that he was never going to listen. All I can suggest, honestly, is if the conversation is public and you want to engage in it, to not stoop to his level of violence, point out what he is saying is violent, and link to studies and state facts whenever you can. You won’t change this man’s mind, but you might change the mind of other people reading. And it’s okay to say, “I’m sorry you went through that experience. That sounds really difficult. But I’m talking about beliefs widely held in groups, not your personal life.” And privately? This type of man honestly isn’t worth engaging with. He will hurt you and drain your energy, and there are better people to talk with that will listen to you and that will be respectful towards you, even if they don’t fully agree.

When he said you “weren’t listening to him”, he didn’t mean “you aren’t hearing my points”, he meant “you didn’t agree when I said my opinion, and that makes me ANGRY”. You made him made because he thought that you disagreeing with him was already an act of aggression, and he responding to that with sexist and abusive remarks about your genitals. Which… is exactly the sort of behavior you were pointing out as a problem: male violence towards women.

Quite honestly, this guy sounds like a piece of trash.

#child custody #fgm tw #arguing with assholes

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