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#I'm just a prickly bitch and that's ok too
seasaltmemories · 2 years
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seasalt u are speaking FACTS in your last post
Just as like an intensely pretentious literature weirdo, I always have to roll my eyes at anyone who tries to claim that art is somehow now all across the board worse than it has ever been before
I think some people conflate the acknowledgement of tropes with the presence of tropes. And as they get older and get better at picking up the patterns of storytelling in media, they think suddenly ppl are just "throwing together concepts bc they're popular" when most writing has always been like that
Frankly I think most literature is unoriginal and tropey, and that good art transcends simple labels or categorization. But ao3 tags didn't cause it, even before this trend, when I had actually book summaries to rely on, it was still difficult to find what I like, bc simply listing what happens can't capture the full essence of work.
If you want to find like the best of the best, you often have to dig through a lot of samey nonsense, get word of mouth recs, and take chances on smaller, less popular works.
Once you stop feeling beholden to the idea what's most popular represents an entire industry at a certain moment, the easier it is to actually find stuff that caters to your taste
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pomefioredove · 11 days
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Heyyyy if you are still open to some more matchups can I request a romantic one? You can pick anyone Students, Staff, or RSA/Noble Bell college people, i don't care either way. I really just want to know who you think fits me personality-wise best lol. 
Ok, so I guess I’ll tell you my appearance first, I’m 169cm so like 5’6, I’ve got very very curly reddish brown hair, and blue eyes that look purple to gray depending on the light. I have a lot of tattoos. Started with a stick and poke piece when I was 13 and have kept getting them even years later. I joke that instead of a sleeve I have a pair of pants, both my legs are covered in tattoos, one side black and the other color. People always tell me I'm incredibly easy to spot in a crowd. Pronouns are She/Her and my voice is kind of low and monotone maybe a bit husky.
As for hobbies... I love Boxing and MMA, I’ve been doing it competitively for a few years so I can comfortably say I can kick most people's ass. food is a bit of a love language for me so I cook pretty often and try a lot of different cuisines (current fav is Georgian, you have to try Khachapuri it's soooo good). I used to sing and play the drums though it's been a while so I'm probably not too great anymore. You know how some people listen to music for the lyrics while other people listen for the beat? I definitely listen more for the sound, I don't care what the song is about just how the sounds flow together... which is why I mostly listen to music in foreign languages, don't need to understand to lyrics to enjoy the beat.
My interests are mostly low key I like to study languages but I don't really try to become fluent just conversational i guess. I'm more inclined to learn about the aspects of a language than the grammar and stuff. Reading horror and what I like to call weird fiction. I love finding books that are a little odd the best example of this that I can think of is "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewsk. I really like weird things, normal things that have been a little twisted and made up in new ways if you get what I mean.
As for my personality... ugh I think I'm probably an acquired taste... it sounds bad but like I'm a really difficult person to get close to. I just don't trust easily and I'm not someone who entertains too much small talk without reason. An example is the fact I've known people for five+ years and still don't really consider them friends. Sure we hang out but like they don't know me and I don't know them. I'm just kind of prickly, with a major resting bitch face too. Though to make up for this I'm incredibly loyal. Once we've actually become friends there's nothing I wouldn't do for them. If they need help hiding a body I'm not gonna ask questions just gonna bring a shovel, take out for two, and tickets out of the country.
Oh and a current project of mine is to reverse-engineer a printer so that i can stick it to shitty corporations who think its reasonable to make you pay a subscription to use a printer that I ALREADY PAID FOR!! That last bit was mostly because i need to print out an essay of mine and I had to dust of the printer i haven't used in forever only to be met with a error message saying i had to pay my subscription to use the thing ugghh. So now i need to actually learn how to a soldering gun.
Sorry if my ramblings don't make much sense, I really don't think about myself too much so trying to describe myself was like insanely hard. Thank you!!!!!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
I match you with 𝐑𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐢
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The First Impression:
Okay. His honest, true, first thought? You smell good. You smell like spices and warmth, so much so that he forgets what he's doing to turn in your direction.
Why He Fell:
"Prickly" and "hard to get close to" aren't terms in Ruggie's dictionary. He would crawl into a sewer if he thought he'd get something worthwhile out of it, and, hey- to him, you're pretty worthwhile!
He may or may not trail behind you like a lost puppy for a little while, at least until you take pity on him and give the poor thing a good meal. But, like with most stray animals, feeding him only brings him back.
Over time (and a few meals), Ruggie starts to bond with you on a more personal level. He'll ask about each of your tattoos, let you ramble to him about whatever it is you're working on, and take little notes on how sharp and crafty you are in the meantime.
The Relationship:
Ruggie has absolutely no shame. Will gladly eat every single thing you make him without even asking what it is, all while dousing you with compliments about it. If making people food is your love language, then eating food is his.
You're just really nice to have around, right? And hey, your beat-em-up skills definitely don't hurt! He's a scrawny guy, he can appreciate standing behind some muscle. He also finds the way you understand sound, in both music and language, to be fascinating, especially considering how sensitive most beastmen's ears are. He can relate to how you describe it.
He's never one to judge, either, so take your time getting comfortable around him! He'd never admit it, but he's pretty much the same way- it takes a lot to actually get his walls down. You can do it together, huh?
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boyakishantriage · 11 months
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"I will stab you. Fuck off."
The alien wisely fucked off. My first time ever on a ship and aliens already assuming that humans are all the same. An adage of crew, Christ is is gonna be a long two years.
"... The new humans are different."
"Eh? Oh. Yeah. Ellie's a bit. It takes a while before she's. Y'know. Plus she uh. Lost a few people recently so she's been a little."
"bit of a bitch."
"I was gonna say prickly, but that works too."
It took a week before it wore off. Dan and Sarah both managing to not freak out the rest of the crew when I say on top of the ship. Not wearing a space suit.
"WHY IS SHE UP THERE?"
"Oh. Right. Um."
"HOW DID SHE GET THERE??"
"See, the uh. Funny thing-"
"... Where's her space suit?"
A tall ass lanky mother fucker tapped my shoulder, small jelly fish glowing animals floating around me as he sat beside me.
"Y'know, I've seen a lot of things in my life."
"Hm?"
"But humans are the strangest thing-"
"Drop the pretentious shit."
"Pardon?"
"has anyone every told you you sound like an old man?"
"I- I do??"
"Seen a lot of things in my life. Sounds like my fucking old ass friends. How old are you?"
"489 earth years."
"You species. How old are ya?"
"24"
"Sorry, I didn't hear that."
"gargoborble"
"English."
"...24."
"24 and you talk with the same pretentious fuckery as a 120 year old who wants to fuck with the youth. I'm fucking 34 and I have less obviousness than you."
She flicked the keys to the ship between her hands. The jelly fish like animals floating away as they lost interest in her.
" Oh right. How are you-"
"Magic."
"magic?"
"Y'know what mana is?"
"..."
"Basic idea. Everything connected, even void. Matter. Energy. Whatever you call it's the thing that connects all shit is called mana. Magic is wielding that mana to do shit. Augment strength, harden skin, shields. Protection. Blah blah blah. Long story..."
She trailed off, looking over at the asteroid field as it passed.
"did you see that?"
"... What?"
"thought I saw a ship."
"Out here?"
"Hmmm. Yeah I'm gonna go inside."
She walked past the captain, walking along the steel as her feet glowed. Placing hand on the controller, it glowing with blue light before the door opened. Without the key into the ship.
"You coming?"
A crowd of aliens rushed forward, asking questions and increasing my headache. I grumbled, before pushing mana out. Same motion as moving your arms out to push people away, a circle formed around me as the captain walked in.
Ignoring the increased questions, as aliens stood in shock. I then lifted the crew up.
"Someone go check the monitors before I lose my patience. Saw something out there. I can explain how I'm doing this when we're not-"
The ship's gravity suddenly shifted, people falling backwards as I held my ground. Something clamped onto the back end of the ship, magnets of some sort near the botanical ball.
"EIGHTY-"
"Nine pirates. I know. DAN. SWORDS!"
He tossed me my swords.
"Ok. So captain. I can either go kill them all, or I can let you do whatever you think we should do."
Tall, lanky grey ish purple and with a purple supernova in his eyes, he thought carefully. Dan already had herded the crew back, Sarah no doubt already had stolen a gun and was hiding in ambush somewhere.
The man shrugged. Turning to the panicking crew. So not no. Not yes. And I had no idea what U was gonna fight so...
I charged down the hall, sword in hand as I slid my way down halls. Technically I had some idea, but the ship was kinda big. Like a container ship big, the lower deck had a lot of crates and shit, only way in is the hangar which is locked and stuff and you can't cut that open or something.
I soon bumped into my first group of pirates. Chicken men, scars lining body. Hmm. Kinda like that Ben ten race-
The human ducked under the flames, blade catching the heat as she swung the weapon forward. My brother caught the blade, before he was thrown into me.
Momentum, basic idea is I just swirl around and I can redirect inertia towards an object, using this, I can turn a kick into a swivel and a stumble into a toss.
Ice forced the two against the wall, unable to move their legs what heat they produced barely even melted the pair. Sword in hand, the woman. Raced down the hall.
"ATTACK!!" The buffalo like alien had time to turn, drop the captive as then get a sword stuck in his chest.
The human rose up, the big guy's back turning to face them as she threw the body over herself, sword embedded in his chest throwing the line of pirates into the shit as she drew a second blade.
Plasma blades were drawn, the insect like thing swinging the glaive quickly as he scraped the floor, long sword twirling, catching the sword, I kicked the insects leg out. Pulling a striking claw away, before slicing the insect with its own glaive stabbing it into the ground as it tried to regenerate or something.
The human began using the glaive with panicked ease, parry and slicing legs, U til.it was taken off her in which she headbutted the alien hard enough it staggered. Growling, claws grew from her hands. Her body glowing as she dropped to her fours and charged into the ship.
She drove the ship into the hanger, claw marks covering the pirates' crew, tied up in the smaller more mobile ship.
The crew stared at the woman, then the tied up crew.
"Getting the feeling, some of y'all have never seen a human special forces person before." She stated, pulling the sword out the quarsian's chest, flame cauterizing the wound.
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cloudcountry · 10 months
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OKAY I JUST FINISHED THE IKEPRI PROLOGUE (finally it felt so long) but here are my thoughts!
Leon seems really nice! He's very charming and I love that he always cares about what MC thinks? Sweet good guy vibes
Chevalier is acting like a bitch but I can already guess he's actually a big softie, tho it takes me a long time to warm up to prickly characters
Yves is the prickly porcupine of the game, mozart ieyasu equivalent, so I'm sure I'll love him after I play his route but rn he just seems childish to me😃
Nokto feels too flirty??? which is so weird bc I love Arthur??? Man idk he doesn't feel as charming as Arthur idk😭
Licht seems interesting but honestly I know nothing about him, would like to play his route tho
Clavis seems fun! He looks like the teasing type but he feels like Mistuhide from ikesen, so I am kinda interested in him
Jin seems kinda plain idk, his eyes are also kinda small🫣 not as aesthetically pleasing as others
Luke I actually like! He feels like a fun guy but definitely not king material, also loved that he offered to help MC when she needed it
SARIEL KINDA REMINDS ME OF JADE SO IM JUST SMILING like i was mad at him for kidnapping MC but then he started talking and the princes started poking at him and he's kind of cute???? god help me im delulu
Rio, ok I know he's so popular but he gives me nice guy vibes??? he's just so himbo there's not a thought behind his eyes and the way he just accepts his role as dog??? (im realising now my type is smart men)
I still don't know who's route to go with first, but from likeability it'd be
Leon/Sariel
Clavis
Luke
Licht
Chevalier
Rio
Yves
Nokto
Jim
And idk for the remaining three princes cuz I haven't met them🤷‍♀️
YOURE SO REALF OR THIS especially luke nd rio's parts ^^ luke is so kind in the prologue!! and i can tell you that yves's route is literally adorable and if i could just GET PAST THE INTIMACY CHECK THAT WOULD BE GREAT. im almost done with it and i appreciate luke so much for what he does in yves's route. i am a luke enthusiast first, a human being second. and i would die for rio btw!!!!!
YOU CAN READ THE SECOND PROLOGUE TO GET A FEEL FOR THE OTHER THREE PRINCES!! everyone is in love with gilbert, keith is a sweetheart (until he isnt), and silvio is just an asshole LMAO
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boypussydilf · 2 years
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I'm going to throw you a curve ball and say Sherly and that one guy whose name I don't remember who you ship him with (I think it's Soseki?)
idont know how to say this without unintentionally sounding mean but this is the second funniest ask ive ever gotten. (i was going to say funniest, but i cant lie even for comedic purposes- the funniest ask ive ever gotten was “shouldve KNOWN an AKESHU shipper would RIP MY THROAT OUT IN PUBLIC for mentioning shusumi”) i got curious and looked at all the relationship tags for dgs on ao3 until the site wouldnt let me anymore and i can almost conclusively say tht no one on this earth ships sherlock and souseki, which, to be honest, is kind of a surprise. on my journey i learned just how dire the state of the dgs ao3 relationship tags really are. i hadnt looked that hard, and i had thought, “oh, woe is me, only about 200 of these are homumiko” There are less than 30 with the susahao tag. theres like, a Small Handful of fics with kazuma interacting w iris or yuujin. This is. This is awful. Someone needs to fix this. What’s wrong with you people? You could have filled this website with one hundred Kazuma Asougi Gets Forcibly Absorbed Into The Greatest Family fics and you’re still asobaroing away? Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Anyway it’s completely understandable to mix up souseki and mikotoba when you havent seen a ton of them they do both . have mustaches. thank you for thr ask and also for always calling him Sherly bc its cute here we go
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describe their canon relationship/dynamic
*putsmy head in my hands* they have like 2 hours of screentime interacting its hard to describe a dynamic beyond “God they are so mean to each other”. its ok though. Its ok. the concept is very clear honestly. World’s Most Hyperactive and Completely Insane Man & Completely Normal Guy Who Goes Along With It. Oh My God They Were Roommates. lets see. serious notes. they trust each other completely and implicitly (mikotoba has to find a good home for The Baby He Was GOING To Raise But CAN’T and asks sherlock and he IMMEDIATELY agrees On The Spot my god ……) look . what do u call devotion if not saying “our home” about a place youve been away from longer than u ever lived at and thought youd never even see again & acting like you were never separated in the first place. Unreal. unreal.
anyway the fact of the matter is theyre literally just another variation on the Holmes & Watson concept go read an acd sherlock holmes story and imagine if they were ace attorney characters and idk i think youd more or less have it
your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?
*pulls out my giant conspiracy board and 90% of it is just screenshots of fanfic The Legendary Pair by Meowzy on AO3* IF YOU LOOK AT IT. THE NOT-REALLY-INDICATED-BY-CANON BUT MORE FUN AND COOL TO ME VERSION OF IT. it makes this A Necessary Relationship. sherlock is. smart in Some places. definitely observant. But has. 0 common sense. you would think hes never been to this planet before with his apparent complete lack of frame of reference for what is or is not plausible or likely. there is too much shit going on in his brain for him to figure out which ideas are Actually Likely without taking like 2 days to work it out. Give him someone who actually has common sense and can crossreference What Sherlock Has Actually Noticed And Figured Out with What Actual Human Beings Generally Would Do.
OHGOD MAYBE I CAN TRY TO ELABORATE IN A MORE SERIOUS TONE ON MY FUCKING “YUUJIN MIKOTOBA SILLY ARC” POST. GOD. what im attempting to drive at is thinking abt . the idea proposed of 16-years-ago sherlock being more of a prickly little bitch and, Much More Importantly, mikotoba going to britain to try and escape the Grief Of Losing His Wife & subsequent Depression That Made Him Unfit To Take Care Of His Baby . and then theyre . again, worlds most hyperactive and completely insane man, and, again, GUY WHO TAP DANCES DURINVG INVESTIGATIONS ?!!!!?!???????????
basically fuck you *gives you by chance a fundamentally life altering friendship right when you need it*
Anyway i dont think theyre that different in my head than in canon but its hard to say.
what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?
i like it because i think they are neat. i like it bc i love families and fuck dude they sure do have one. i like it bc i am a dgs sherlock holmes kinnie and this drives my behavior,
what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?
*SCREAMS* BESTIES. anyway,
sorry for once again saying serious concepts in the dumbest fucking ways possible but Pov u are yuujin mikotoba age 26 leaving ur home to try and run away from the deepest pain of ur life & deciding not to stick with ur very close friends uve known for quite a while as you do so? For some reason? AND IT WORKS ???????????? in some part bc of this weirdo freak u moved in with impulsively who keeps almost blowing the fucking house up?
This is basically something i already said in this post earlier and i STILL . cant think of an actual good way to say it. I guess just . as many people on this blog may have noticed. me wh. me when stories involve the way positive connections with others help people <3
Also basically the only 2 reactions sherlock seems to invoke in people are “this guys insufferable” and “this guys insufferable but i also admire him” - god the trajectory of this train of thought just changed drastically im laughing so hard Bear with me . mikotoba is of course in th second camp bc thats where all sherlocks Positive relationships are. this is known to us. see: thr dialogue where hes like “Well your methods are unusual but ive always been willing to try them :)” (and then sherlock yells at him for being stupid.) anyway thats wonderful and its also Wonderful. mikotoba shortly after meeting sherlock watching this man rip up a handful of grass an d just eat it and then solve an entire mystery and mikotoba has to work out if this guys a genius or insane. He quickly realizes it is both. Anyway i guess to yuujin mikotoba sherlock holmes is his dear friend and partner & also the guy who cursed him to occasionally think “i DO wonder what that grass tastes like” at inopportune times
I don’t know WHAT the fuck i just rambled about for like ten minutes. So anyhow. sherlock describes mikotoba as “the only person i could truly call a friend” so shoutout to this friendless man i guess . no but literally hes a little weirdo freak and people dont tend to. like him. societal perceptions of ND people are not conducive to sherlock holmes having close friends . (Also he might not be. or might at some point not have been. particularly social in the first place - But this is my extrapolation based on acd canon and nothing in dgs at all so it cant be counted as anything other than my female hysteria.) and like. epic win for him finding someone who can Tolerate Him Enough To Live With Him and not just that but like . Actually Likes Him. Actually Likes Being Around Him And Would Like To Be His Friend. Congrats! also a win 4 him having like, a normal human being around. who can keep track of him and yknow. Help him remember important things. make sure he actually sleeps and eats instead of spending 42 hours straight trying to make The Sequel To Toasters (It’s Also A Juicer!)
favorite interaction they have in canon
oh,my god you know the thing is theres not a Lot of them but what there is is Really Good Actually.
on one hand we have the shit from the legendary pair scene like “:/ only JAPANESE mice go Chu. make a RUSSIAN mouse noise” or “YOUR BIRTHDAY? THATS FUNNY BC AS OF TODAY YOURE DEAD TO ME :D” “measured as always.” On the other hand we have the part from the scene after the last trial where sherlock thanks mikotoba for leaving iris in his care.
Basically i dont know how to decide. im going to say the Other part of the scene after the last trial where sherlock is excitedly telling mikotoba a story about something he did. With mikotoba. like a day before. and mikotoba lets him get through thr whole fucking thing before going Yeah i was. i was there.
favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in
OH GOD I DONT KNOW ACTUALLY. what is there to say beyond the Default List Of Every Homumiko Fans Shared Interests. its all been done. “Remember That Time They Raised A Baby Together For A Month”; “Have You Heard Of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Adventures of Sherlock Holmes? Great Here’s My Adaptation-“; “Put That Beast (Sherlock) In Japan LOL”. i will say that like. i dont remember where but theres some tiny bit of optional dialogue where iris says that sherlock playing the violin was a detail she wrote into the stories for fun and then after that he felt obligated to actually learn. i think a lot of people dont know this or dont use this. which is fine its a tiny random one off line i wouldnt even be able to track down. and a lot of people have the order of events go sherlock has violin -> mikotoba learns to tap dance, Look another musical thing matchy matchy :) . which again is FINE. BUT. isnt the other order of events - the order that it’s only reasonable to assume is canon - more fun ? Sherlock goes HEY GUESS WHAT I LEARNED VIOLIN NOW WE CAN MAKE MUSIC TOGETHER. He has not seen mikotoba in person in 9 years
thats the end of the post thank you i like the dads
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long-hot-stories · 22 days
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Sex Ed Lessons: Part 16
“Who’s Christine?”
By LiminallySpaced. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels.
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"Who's Christine?"
"What?" I exclaimed, turning toward Kerri abruptly. She was still covered in my semen and bare chested
"Easy, easy! You just got a text from someone named Christine. Asking where you were."
I took my phone back, shoving it quickly into my pants pocket. I sat down on the edge of the bed to put on my shoes.
"So who is she?"
Once again I didn't really know how to answer that question.
"Just a friend," I said flatly.
"Um Hmm," Kerri responded, doubtfully, "is she the kind of 'friend' who's gonna be upset your balls have already been completely drained?"
"Don't worry about it." I was colder than I should have been. Kerri was just curious, and I was being a jerk about it. Feeling guilty for my prickly tone, I scooted myself up toward the lounging Greek goddess of lust. "Listen," I said, placing my hand on her golden calf, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a jerk, I've just got a lot of stuff going on. A lot of confusing stuff that's just been a bitch to try and process."
"No, I understand," her tits jiggled delightfully as she brushed her hair out of her face, "Lot of that going around. Just that time of life for everyone, I think. You can tell me about her next time."
Next time. She wanted to do this again. Hell, I did too, but the thought of adding premeditation to what we did made my stomach grow cold. There would be no defense then, no excuse of passions getting the better of us, just pure dishonesty and subterfuge.
"Kerri," I began, "I don't know if we should do this again. I think it might be wrong."
Kerri took a moment to consider my words, then sat up straight. Pressing her big tits into my arm she leaned in close and said "This doesn't have to be complicated, Tim. It can just be fun."
I tiled my head in and kissed her. Hard.
"Just think about it, ok?"
I nodded weakly.
"And send me those pictures, ok?"
I smiled. We kissed. I took one last feel of her stupendous breasts, and left.
I checked my phone in the car. I did, in fact, have a message from Christine asking where I was. I hadn't even considered what time it was, and I had definitely more than missed church. My conflicted feelings about Kerri became compounded by the returning knot in my stomach.
"Hey, sorry, I overslept. Long night." I wrote back to her. Not technically a lie.
"No problem. You wanna meet me at The Spot at 7?"
I thought about it for a long moment. Thinking of Christine made me smile. What Christine and I had was arguably the least complicated of my romantic entanglements (or at least that was what I told myself). Seeing her would surely set my chaotic mind to rest. She had that effect on me.
"Sure thing."
I got home to an empty house, jumped in the shower, and thought about what my night had been.
Kerri said it didn't have to be complicated, and I wanted to believe her, but I had a hard time believing anything about my sex life could be uncomplicated. There was nothing uncomplicated about fucking my friend's girlfriend. There was nothing uncomplicated about the hot and cold between me and Tara.
There was nothing uncomplicated about the feelings I was realizing I had developed for Christine.
I didn't know what those feelings were, exactly, but they were more than just lust. We had been friends for so long that despite my best intentions it was proving to be impossible to separate the time I spent with her as a friend from the time I spent with her in bed. I knew there was no path forward for us. Like Kerri had said, nothing that happened this summer would really count once the fall came, and would most likely vanish to time as life moved on, but that didn't make it any easier to compartmentalize.
It didn't make me want her any less.
My car pulled into The Spot, and Christine was already waiting, leaning her lithe body against the hood of her car.
The last lights of a golden sunset cast her in an amber glow. Her long, smooth legs had a shine to them, ascending up into short shorts that hugged her slight curves. As always, bare legs meant a more conservative top, but the wide, ragged mouth of her sweatshirt hung off her shoulder in a delicious way. I saw no bra strap. As soon as she saw my car, her eyes lit up and a smile blossomed on her face.
I had barely put my car into park when all at once she had hopped into the passenger seat.
We looked at each other in silence, an unspoken tension building.
"Hi," she said.
"Hi," I answered.
Slowly she closed the distance between us on the big bench seat, licking her lips as she sidled up next to me.
Her eyes twinkled in the fading light. Her hair cascaded down one side of her perfect face. She leaned in, and my lips touched hers in a long, slow kiss. This wasn't a hook up kiss, this was a real kiss. My hand reached up and cupped her head through her brunette locks. I felt her sigh.
Then suddenly she pulled away from me with a start. There was a different look in her eye now, something I couldn't quite place. It wasn't lust, it was something more unsure. Then, as if trying to shake herself out of the feeling, her hands darted down to my pants, making quick work of the button and zipper.
The cool air touched the skin of my cock only briefly, as it was quickly engulfed by the sweet, wet warmth of Christine's mouth.
I had cum very hard three times in the recent past, so the sudden sensation of her sucking mouth on my tender flesh elicited a sharp "oh!" from me.
Christine's lips and mouth worked at a feverish pace. This wasn't anything like the kiss we just shared, this was determined. She sucked and slobbered on my cock in a way that normally would have brought me to full mast almost immediately, but the combination of her uncharacteristic over eagerness, the sensitivity of my swollen skin, and my sexual exhaustion from the activities of the previous night and morning, got me only half hard at best.
"I want you to get hard for me, Tim," She said, switching over to a tight handjob while she spoke, "I want you to get so hard so you can cum on my face. Don't you want to cum on my face?"
It's true Christine had become a lot more comfortable with dirty talk, and usually hearing all sorts of words and expressions I never would have expected for a pastor's daughter would have gotten me harder than Tetris, but this was too over the top. She was trying too hard. Something was off. For both of us.
She dipped her head down and went back to work sucking hard, this time rolling my balls in her hand. My mind jumped back to the first time we experienced each other, right there in that same car. Her mouth had gone at my cock with a similar fervor, but there was a passion there, then. There was a need. That first time my cock went in her mouth I felt the whole energy of her body in every lick of her tongue.
Last time she wanted my cock. She wanted my cum. This time, I couldn't help but feel like what she wanted was a distraction. It felt good, there was no denying it, but it didn't feel RIGHT. Not this time.
"Christine, Christine, stop, stop." I pleaded, and gently guided her head out of my lap. She sat back up, hair tousled over one eye, and wiped her wet mouth with the back of her hand. It was so delightfully lewd that even in my current state my cock couldn't help but surge at the sight.
"You wanna watch me touch myself?" She said with a lusty grin, working her hand into the front of her tight shorts.
"No, no, I mean yes, but no," I said, confused about what I wanted.
"What's wrong?" she said, furrowing her brow with the legitimate concern of a real friend.
I looked at her for a moment. There was definitely something wrong here. I knew it immediately on my end, and that look on her face after that kiss; her sudden change in demeanor after; I knew she was feeling the same thing.
"Christine, I have to tell you something. When I got here tonight I wasn't sure if I was going to, but now I think I should."
"Ok,” she said, her concern turning to confusion.
"The reason I wasn't at church, "
"You overslept."
"It's true, I did, but I have to tell you why." Christine was very still as she waited for my next words. "I spent the night with someone."
I watched her face as the words landed. She was trying to remain calm, but I could see something else behind her eyes.
"So what, why are you telling me this?" She said with a nervous chuckle, "it's not like we're dating or anything."
"I told you because I needed to. For the same reason I think you needed to hear it."
"I don't think I need to hear you can't get it up because some other girl fucked your brains out, Tim." She said in a tone that was uncharacteristically nasty.
"That's not what I mean, and you know it."
"Tim, I don't know what you mean," she said, turning away and nervously gathering her things, "but I do know that maybe this was a mistake tonight. I'm not exactly in the mood anymore."
"Christine,” I sighed as she made her way out of the car.
"Why don't you go home and get some rest. You clearly need it."
And with that she was gone. I sat alone in my car for a few moments, replaying the situation in my head. I needed to get my mind off of it, so I took out my phone and drafted an email to Just 4 the Watcher X O X O.
"Here you go" it read, "just might be the best painting I've ever seen. Can't wait till the next one ;)"
I took a moment to look back on the slutty pictures Kerri had let me take, pictures of her gorgeous face and body splattered in my semen, attached them to the email, and hit send.
Almost instantly, as though she had been waiting, I got an email back.
"Thanks so much for a lovely time. You're a great artist." I smiled at how the dumb joke Tara started seemed to continue to be useful. "Here's a tip for all your hard work ;)"
There was an attachment.
I clicked the file, and waited patiently as it loaded. It was probably only a couple seconds, but it felt like forever. Then, finally, the screen of my phone was taken up by a close up of Kerri's face. I recognized it right away as the full version of the photo she had used to entice me into her voyeuristic plan.
Kerri looked up at me with the familiar sight of a bright, white slash of semen reaching up from the bridge of her nose into her dark curly hair; it was a sight I would never forget; but the whole picture was so much more erotic: her mouth was open slightly, a lustful smile on her face. Her lips and chin were splattered in gooey white, Mike's purple, spent cock inches from her covered skin.
My cock surged back to life. I knew exactly why she was smiling. Mike may have been the one cumming on her face, but it was clear that she was taking this photo just for me.
I reached down to my hardening cock and began to stroke frantically. It wasn't long before the image of Kerri's cummy face worked one more load out of me for the day.
I arrived back home, dazed and spent, my cock and balls sore from the whirlwind of the last 24 hours. My step mom Kelly was there to greet me, a certain glow about her that could only mean one thing. I thought about the lusty alter-ego I had created for her in my mind, Kel, to separate the woman who helped raise me from the sexual creature who no doubt had spent the night with Brian last night.
As Kelly talked I half listened, my mind wandering. I thought about my argument with Tara, and whether I was being unfair to her. I thought about how tomorrow was Monday, which meant I'd have to go back to work, have to interact with Letty for the first time since her domination of me Friday night. I thought about Kerri, about the feel of her body, the satisfied look on her face after I shot my cum on her; I thought about how wrong it felt, but also how good it felt. And finally I thought about Christine; what had we both discovered that we were too afraid to admit? I thought I knew, but I didn't know when the next time I'd see her would be. Not after tonight.
At least until Kelly's words suddenly pierced through my daze and sent a cold lump into my stomach.
"Don't forget, sweetie, you've got the church youth camping trip next weekend!"
, oh, fuck.
Chapter 26: Tim’s boss teaches him a lesson
The church youth group camping trip was in four days, which meant that I had four days to think, and more specifically Over think, about what was going with Christine and I; where we stood, what we wanted, where we could possibly go from here, and what it all meant.
If you had asked me just a few days ago if I was looking forward to it, I would have ecstatically said yes, and then probably zoned out, daydreaming about sneaking off from the group to get frisky in the woods. I'd picture myself leaning against a large rock, the only audible sounds the chirping of the birds in the trees and the moans vibrating around my hard cock as Christine worked it with her sweet, wet mouth.
As I got close I'd suggest finishing in her mouth to avoid suspicion from the rest of our fellow campers, but then she'd pull off me with a hot gasp and demand I finish on her face. Hands stroking, my tip bobbing just above her lips I'd oblige, and with a stifled grunt and a hard deep breath I'd douse her in erratic white ropes.
Fully spent, I'd look down at the pastor's daughter, a smile on her cum-covered face, and be struck by how beautiful she looked covered in my seed. And how nicely the colors of nature complimented her smoldering eyes.
Or maybe she'd lay herself down among a bed of flowers, legs spread, her own petals on display and touch herself while I pleasured myself nearby. The bright colors would wrap her body in an erotic rainbow as she shook and shuddered beneath her fingers, her head turning to desperately suckle on the flared tip of my cock as she brought herself to orgasm. Then, just as her pleasure peaked, I'd join her, adding my own color to her face and neck.
Or maybe, just maybe, we'd sneak away at night and find a soft clearing where we'd lay naked and kiss. She'd feel my hard cock against her leg, and then with a look that said more than any words could, her thighs would spread open, she'd nod, I'd push, and finally I'd feel the warm wet embrace of her body envelop me completely.
That last daydream was new. We had rules. We had to follow them. I had thought I was fine with our arrangement, that we were just two friends helping each other out in an awkward time, but lately I'd felt certain desires creeping up on me. Desires for more, both physically and emotionally.
But now all those thoughts would likely have to stay just daydreams after the way we left things the previous night in my car. Something about the guilt I felt seeing her after spending the night with Kerri, about the way she feverishly attacked my cock with her mouth like she was trying to distract herself from something else, I wasn't sure exactly what happened, or why, but something told me we had crossed a line.
Getting physical with my best friend Tara, fucking my friend's girlfriend Kerri, getting dominated by my boss Letty; my love life seemed to be nothing but line crossing lately. What I had with Christine was supposed to be simple. Easy. The exception. But now something was different, and neither of us seemed to know how to handle it. I think something happened that neither of us counted on, expected or wanted.
We needed to talk, and I had four days to figure out what to say to her. Hopefully it wouldn't make the camping trip a total drag in addition.
Before I did that, however, I still had to get through four days of work. Four days of work where I only realized Sunday night that I had never asked for the following Friday off.
My boss, Letty, was not going to be pleased.
Monday was my first day back at work since I had "stayed late" with Letty, where I got a full education in what her management style was like if she didn't think you were pulling your weight. She was strict, it was true, but I can't say I hated the experience.
As I drove to work, my mind drifted to the previous Friday, and replayed the feeling of her cunt wrapped around my cock. It was the tightest cunt I had ever experienced, and every movement was as excruciating as it was euphoric. That's why it was so frustrating when she pulled off of me at the last second and denied me my orgasm.
But she had given me rules to follow, and I broke them. I deserved it. I was determined to do better next time.
I walked through the door, on time and ready to work, with a stomach full of butterflies. I wasn't nervous because I was afraid Letty would punish me again (on the contrary I kind of hoped she would), I was nervous because the one thing that was drilled into me the other night was that what I never wanted to do was let my mistress down.
She didn't even look up from her clipboard when I nervously greeted her good morning, offering a flat "morning, Tim," as she walked right past me. Once again dressed in conservative, unflattering company clothes, I still felt a twitch in my pants as I remembered what she had underneath.
"You're here early," Gina said to me as I breezed into the employee lounge, "looks like staying late the other night did you some good, huh? Her comment was accompanied by a cocked eyebrow above thick, smokey eye makeup. She leaned against the break room counter, her considerable curves fighting against the confines of the unflattering uniform.
"Yeah," I began with a short pause, "Letty helped show me,” I wasn't sure how to word it, “ the importance of following procedure."
"Mm," Gina hummed in agreement as she took a sip of her coffee, "she has that effect on people." She shot me a wry smile, and took another sip.
I could feel her eyes on me as I sulked my way to the coffee pot. She knew something was wrong, I could feel it.
"Hey, you ok?" She said, "she didn't break you, did she?"
"No, no, it's fine, I just,” I paused to let out a big defeated sigh, “ I'm leaving to go on a camping trip this weekend, so I'm going to miss work on Friday."
"What's wrong with that? Camping is fun, if you're into that sorta thing, "
"I forgot to put in for the day off. I have to tell her today."
Gina choked on her coffee mid-sip as she chuckled at me.
"Oh boy, Tim," she said, composing herself, "You are gonna get it!"
"I know, I know. I'm just, trying to figure out the right time to tell her."
"Well, good luck pal," she said, slapping me on the back as she made her way toward the door, "I'm sure she'll figure out a way for you to, work it off."
I watched her leave, my eyes drawn down her slim back to the hypnotic sway of her hips, and wondered about her comment. Did she know what Letty and I had done? Did she have firsthand experience?
The day itself was uneventful, and I worked my ass off, doing the best job I could as a way to hopefully lessen the blow of what I had to ask at the end of the day. My new found attention and focus at the very least kept my mind from wandering to the more complicated parts of my life. I didn't even have time to think about Christine, or Kerri, or Tara, because I was too busy thinking about what Letty was going to do to me.
The thing was, the more I thought about it, the more I realized her impending ire was starting to turn me on.
I watched the hours tick by and pretty soon it was quitting time. As the rest of my co-workers started to leave, I sucked it up, knocked on Letty's door, and told her what I needed to tell her.
She was less than pleased.
"This is very unprofessional, Tim," she said in a stern tone, "and very unfair to me, and to everyone you work with."
"I know, I'm so sorry, I just forgot"
"And you think it's ok to deny someone else their day off because you FORGOT?"
"No, I understand that it's not."
"So what do you suggest we do about it?"
She stood up from her desk, standing firm and tall. Her perfect posture pushed her chest out, and for a second I could have sworn I could see her hard nipples pushing through the fabric of her shirt.
"It's no problem, Letty," I heard Gina's voice pop in from the doorway, "I already told Tim I'd cover for him on Friday."
Letty and I both turned toward the door in surprise to see Gina leaned against the frame, an innocent look on her face.
"Is this true, Tim?" Letty said, glaring at Gina, eyes narrowed.
"Uh, yeah," I said, nervously looking at Gina myself. Like I said, more than anything else I didn't want to let Letty down, so I just went along with it, not knowing what Gina's angle was. "I was just going to mention that. I worked it all out with Gina, so you wouldn't have to worry."
I gulped hard at the silence that followed.
"Well," Letty said finally, straightening her pristine, white shirt, "if it's all worked out with Gina, then it's fine with me."
"That's great, thank you," I said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"However," Letty continued, causing my breath to catch again, "worked out or not, dropping this on your superior at such a late date is very inconsiderate, Tim." I felt a slight twinge in my cock as I knew what was coming next. "I'm going to have to ask you to stay late again tomorrow so we can discuss what being considerate looks like."
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
"Yes m; " I began, before catching myself. Letty's eyebrow cocked up as I almost blew the whole thing in front of Gina. "Yes, ma'am."
A dismissive hand wave was all she issued in response, and I gathered my things and headed out with Gina.
"Why'd you do that?" I said, as the two of us walked toward the exit.
"Because you're a nice guy, and I didn't want to watch you get eaten alive by the steel trap."
We both chuckled. It was a nickname we all had for our hard ass boss. If only everyone knew how true it was; I felt a tingle in my balls as I remembered how almost unbearably tight Letty's cunt was.
"And plus, now you owe me a favor!"
"Oh yeah? What kind of favor?"
"Yep," she said, a big Cheshire grin pulling at her darkly-painted lips, "a big one." My mind immediately went to the gutter, but before I could conjure up a full fantasy of her plump tits jiggling as she rode me, or the purple of her hair catching the wind as her head bobbed on my cock, she followed up with "but for now you can start by giving me a ride to my other job."
I happily agreed, and we both piled into my car.
"A church camping trip, huh?" Gina asked with a suggestive tone as we drove. "Is it true what they say about those repressed church kids being secret, kinky
freaks?"
"No, it's nothing like that," I chuckled as I lied. We were friendly, but not quite friendly enough for me to reveal the truth about the pastor's daughter's cum fetish. "Just sort of a last hurrah before the older kids go off to college."
"Um Hmm," she said with a syrupy disbelief
"What, you got some inside knowledge or something?"
"Well," she began, her knees rubbing together slightly, "I dated a 'church guy' in high school."
"Oh yeah? And?"
"And he didn't want to have sex before marriage, but let's just say we found a loophole."
My cock twitched. I knew what that meant. Suddenly my mind was filled with the image of Gina, bent over, her thick hips flared out, eyes shut in ecstasy as her pious boyfriend pushed his cock deep into her asshole.
"Well, whatever you think it might be," I said, clearing my throat, "it's not that."
"That's too bad, the repressed ones are always the most fun."
We rode together in silence for a moment after that. I began to squirm a bit as visions of Gina's church-going boyfriend sinfully filling her ass continued to dance through my head. It dawned on me then that our situations weren't that different. We both had been entangled with people fighting between their beliefs and their nature, and it produced interesting results. I wondered then how Christine might feel about anal sex.
I needed to change the subject immediately.
"So what is this mysterious other job?" I inquired.
"Just something I do for extra cash," she said, pausing in thought for a moment. "What makes it so mysterious to you?"
"Nothing, really," I said, the heat being turned back on to me, "just that the last time I drove you; you jumped out of the car at a weird place. Like maybe you didn't want me to see where you worked or something."
"Oh really?" Gina shifted her body, turning more towards me. I tried not to stare as her plump cleavage peeked out of her opened polo. It seemed like she was doing it on purpose. "I bet that just sent your imagination running wild, didn't it?"
It was true, it had. Maybe she was just a bartender, or a waitress, but maybe she was a stripper. Or maybe even some sort of prostitute! My horny teenage brain couldn't help but assume the most lewd possibilities.
"No, not at all," I lied, "it just made me, curious."
Gina eyed me, sizing me up. She cleared her throat, and then un snapped her seat belt.
"Well you were right to be suspicious," she said in a syrupy tone. She shifted her body close to mine. One finger began dancing on my thigh. "I wasn't sure if you'd be able to handle it."
I could feel her breasts pushing into my arm as she leaned her full lips in toward my ear.
"Do you want me to tell you about it?" she whispered, her hot breath causing the flesh on my neck (and incidentally my cock) to tingle, "do you wanna hear about all the things I do for money? All the ways I demean myself?"
I gulped hard, not being able to find the words to respond.
"Turn down this street here, and I'll show you exactly what it is I do."
I did as I was told, passing a few buildings before she told me to pull over. She kept her body close to mine, taking in my response to the situation. I, for one, despite all my recent sexual experience, was still intimidated by her at this moment. Intimidated and hard as a rock.
Her hand came up off my thigh and laid flat against my chest. She looked at me for a moment, then smiled.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Tim." she said, patting me twice on the chest with the flat of her hand.
Gina then slid back toward the passenger door, gathered her things, and exited with a "thanks for the ride!" I was fairly disoriented, not knowing exactly what had just happened, when there was a tap at my window. I rolled it down, and Gina ducked her head down and said "and don't forget; you still owe me one!"
She winked, and I watched, still befuddled, as she made her way towards the building I had parked in front of. The sign out front said "Shady Acres Retirement and Assisted Living."
Gina entered, disappearing from view. I sat there in silence for a moment, still collecting my thoughts.
"Woof." I finally said, to no one in particular, "nice work, Tim. Yeesh."
I began my solitary drive home in silence, which did nothing to take my thoughts away from images of Gina, bent over on a bed or couch somewhere, moaning deeply as she took a hard cock deep into her ass. I wondered how many times she had done it. If it was just a means to an end, or if she liked it. If she still liked it. How big his cock was. If they used a condom. If he finished inside her, or if he pulled out to paint her thick ass. Or maybe those plump tits.
My mind then drifted to Letty, and to the "overtime" I'd be working tomorrow. Her nipples were definitely hard back in her office; I knew what was in store for me tomorrow. She was going to teach me a lesson, and I was going to enjoy it. I hoped I'd get to feel that wet vice of a cunt she had again. I hoped this time she'd let me cum. She was the one in control, but that didn't stop me from desperately wanting to bend her over and fuck the life out of her. But I wouldn't do that.
Not unless she told me to.
My cock was still rock hard through all of this, and I was dying for a release. I couldn't call Christine for obvious reasons, and I didn't WANT to call Tara, so that left only Kerri. I knew it was a bad idea, and I told her as much, but full balls can make a man do questionable things. Just as I passed her street, I decided to pull over.
Pulling out my phone I started a text message, and then quickly remembered that something like this was much more suited for our email exchange, so I drafted a new message to Just 4 the watcher X O X O.
I stared at the blinking cursor. How the hell do you write something like this? Do I be subtle and clever? Do I be lewd and straightforward?
"I was happy to help you out the other night," I finally began, deciding on something that vaguely resembled code, "I was wondering if you needed my help again tonight."
I hit send, and then immediately started overthinking things. It had been barely 24 hours since we were last together, and here I was already asking for a booty call. It had to look desperate, right? And again, what I was doing here was wrong; I was betraying a friend, and actively looking to do it again. I was a piece of shit. I didn't deserve to;
My phone buzzed and my mind went clear. She wrote back.
"That sounds like a lot of fun, but I'm actually on my way out; we talked it over, and he's going to try and make it up to me tonight. Wish me luck! I'll let you know how it goes ;)"
My excitement waned, and I felt my cock begin to deflate. That's the trouble with being the other man; the other guy always comes first.
I headed home and spent the evening with Kelly, having dinner and watching TV. I had intended to catch up with her a bit, but she spent most of the night answering the ping of text messages on her phone, smiling and giggling at each message. I had a feeling I knew who they were from.
I caught a brief glimpse of Alexa as she hustled out the front door, dressed for a Monday night as though it was Saturday. I hadn't seen much of her lately; she had definitely been enjoying her summer, and tonight was no different. I couldn't help but wonder where she was off to, and if the uncharacteristic choker she wore around her neck was any indication of what kind of night she had in front of her.
In the hallway I heard laughter coming through the ceiling from Sandy and Don's place above. I heard three voices at least, and for a split second I thought one of them sounded like Tara. My mind was clearly playing tricks on me.
I bid Kelly goodnight and headed off to kill the rest of the evening in my room surfing the internet. I wasn't looking for anything in particular other than a distraction, but I wasn't being honest about what I was trying to distract myself from. At first I thought it was Christine, then Tara, then Letty, then Gina, but I realized as I sat there stewing what I was trying to distract myself from was Kerri. From a feeling I wasn't quite expecting to feel.
Before I could pin it down, my email lit up, and I had a new message from Just4thewatcherxoxo. I opened it.
"Hope your night was more stimulating than mine was. He did his best, but it wasn't quite what I needed. You still around?"
For some reason, my reaction to this message wasn't to immediately jump into my car and head to Kerri's house, it was more, petty.
"Damn, I actually can't tonight anymore. Got roped into game night with my step mom!" I wrote back in a bald faced lie. Why did I do it?
"What about tomorrow?" She wrote back. My cock twitched, but I pushed her away again.
"Damnit, gotta stay late at work tomorrow." At least I wasn't lying this time.
"Ugh," she wrote back, "well, let's touch base again in a couple days. I don't know if I can go much longer without cumming." I felt a surge come back to my cock as I read the final words: "Here's something from tonight to tide you over till then. I'd love to see what you think ;)"
There was a picture attached. I opened it.
The first was a selfie, her camera held up high above her as she lay splayed out in a bed that wasn't hers. Her curly mane of black hair was spread wildly across her pillow, and her free arm fell across her chest, plumping up and presenting her glorious olive globes for my enjoyment. Her eye makeup was done into an impeccably sharp point, but the maroon lipstick she wore was slightly smeared past the edges of her lips.
I fished out my hard cock and began stroking.
I opened the second photo. Deep shadows cupped her thick thighs, and her camera peered deep between them at her swollen, freshly-fucked cunt. A thick rivulet of white traveled out from between her lips. Mike's cum.
My stroking stopped. I knew then exactly what I was feeling, looking at a photo of her sweet cunt dripping with another man's semen. It was jealousy.
She had sent me a picture similar to this before, but this time the thought of another man's cum pumped into her wasn't arousing, it was unnerving. I knew I had no right to feel this way, she wasn't my girlfriend, and the fact that I fucked her made me out to be the asshole, not Mike, but even so, my hormone-addled brain wouldn't let me get past the fact that he got to fuck her tonight instead of me. It was a base, unevolved jealousy that I had no idea how to deal with at the time.
My desire to jerk off had faded, but I didn't want to leave the poor girl hanging, so I gave my cock a few more strokes, made sure a thick bead of precum dripped down the tip, and snapped a photo. I sent it back to her with the caption "I'm literally drooling," and then tucked myself back into my shorts, shut my computer down for the night, and headed to bed with full balls and a heavy conscience.
Lying in bed, trying to stop the spinning thoughts long enough to fall asleep, the voices drifted down from upstairs once again. I could have sworn one of them sounded like Tara.
When I got to work Tuesday, all thoughts of Kerri, or anyone else for that matter, were gone from my mind, replaced by images of the skirt, boots, and fishnets Letty was wearing; the same ones she wore the last time I "stayed late." I was sensing a pattern. She wanted me to spend the day knowing exactly what I was in for, and each click and clack of her stilettos on the tile floor tingled my nerves.
She said nothing to me as the day went on, save for a dispassionate work request or instruction or two, and as the store began to close up for the night, each co-worker leaving the store felt like seconds ticking off a timer, with Gina's "good luck tonight" and wink signaling time had run out.
I locked the door behind her, and turned back toward the empty store. It was deathly quiet. The click clack of Letty's boots broke the silence, and I saw her lean out from her office door.
"Leave your phone at the desk." She said nothing more, disappearing back into her office. I did as I was instructed, and made my way after her.
Her office was dimly lit, and she stood, waiting for me, by the corner of her desk. She stood straight and tall, arms crossed over her chest, a long riding crop held in one hand.
Uh oh.
"Shut the door behind you and come over here."
I did as I was told and moved toward the center of the room, nervous and excited.
"Take off your shirt."
I obliged, stripping off the garment and tossing it nearby.
Letty walked over towards me slowly.
She took the flail end of the crop and ran it slowly down my cheek and neck, stopping at my chest. She took a deep breath that almost felt like excitement, but before I could calculate what the emotion was, a sharp sting spread through my body as she snapped the crop against my chest with a loud slap.
"Ah!" I shouted, and backed away, "what the fuck was that for?"
"Because I was under the impression we had an agreement about what goes on in this building Mr. Miller," she said coldly, "and when I tell you to do something, you are to do it, and answer me accordingly."
She sauntered towards me again, placing her hand on the sore impact point that was beginning to turn red. She rubbed it softly. Almost tenderly.
"Unless you no longer wish to abide by that agreement, in which case you are free to go." Her fingers felt nice as they circled my chest. "Do you wish to stay? And suffer the consequences for breaking the rules?"
She looked up at me with her ice-blue eyes, her thin, painted lips seductively slightly parted as she waited for my response.
"Yes," I began, excited and terrified for what the night would bring, “ mistress."
I thought I saw a smile try to pull at her lips ever so briefly.
"Good boy." She leaned in, and my hair stood up on end as I felt her lips kiss the sore spot on my chest, before backing away and returning to her place by the desk. Her lips; that small moment of tenderness; set my body on fire.
"Take off the rest of your clothes," she said, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Yes mistress." I did as she requested, quickly stripping off my pants, my underwear and my socks. I was left totally nude, standing in the middle of my boss' office.
Letty slowly sauntered over to me, this time carrying a length of thick ribbon.
"Hands behind your back," she commanded, and I obeyed with the correct verbal response as well. I felt her breath on the back of my neck as she wrapped the ribbon around my wrists, binding them together. After giving it a test for security, she circled me, running the end of the riding crop over my body gently, sending tingles across my bare skin. Stopping in front of me, her eyes traced their way down, coming to rest on my cock that was beginning to swell in nervous excitement.
I felt her glide the end of her riding crop up the inside of my thigh. She slid it over my balls before resting the tip firmly beneath my thickening shaft, lifting it slightly for her own inspection.
"So," she said, weighing my meat with her implement, "you think just because you have a cock like this, it means you don't have to follow the rules?"
I was flooded by nerves and hormones that I didn't even register the compliment she just paid me. I was too worried about the riding crop, one she had already used very willingly to inflict pain on me, playing around with my most sensitive area.
"No, mistress!" I blurted out, not realizing there really was no right answer.
"No, you don't have to follow the rules?" She said, her tone intensifying. "You think this cock entitles you to make trouble for everyone you work with? You think it makes you special?" I started to stumble through a response, trying to mitigate her growing ire, but a quick whoosh and a firm, stinging slap of the crop to my thigh shut me up. "Speak plainly!" she commanded.
"Yes mistress," I croaked. "I didn't mean to make trouble, I swear."
"You were neglectful, weren't you?" she said, circling the tip of the crop around my reddened skin.
"Yes, mistress!"
"You were inconsiderate, weren't you?"
"Yes, mistress!" I practically cried, before following up with "It will never happen again, mistress, I swear!"
She looked my body over once more, and then stepped back toward the end of her desk.
"On your knees." she said, her back to me.
"Yes, mistress," I obliged, and lowered to the floor. Letty kept her back to me, and I watched her intently, waiting for her next request or command. She put her crop down on her desk. I couldn't see her hands, but they seemed to be busy at the front of her shirt. It was only a moment longer before she spread the shirt wide, and slipped it down off her shoulders, sliding it off her arms, folded it, and placed it neatly on her desk. Her lithe back was wrapped in some sort of black corset or bustier, its drawstrings tied tightly in crisscrosses and bows descending her back.
I felt the blood surge to my cock.
Her hands then moved to the skirt she was wearing. Her hips cocked to the side as she unfastened it. I took a deep breath in as she unwrapped herself, revealing a perfect, pert ass that rested atop two, pale, toned legs. Her tall stiletto boots gave way to dark stockings that reached up to her mid-thigh, held in place by a black garter straps that reached up to the bottom of her corset. Her perfect ass cheeks were bare, with no fabric to speak of splitting them.
, she wasn't wearing panties.
I imagined her walking around the store all day panty-less, presenting the outward appearance of a total professional, when really beneath her sensible skirt she was prepared for debauchery. I wanted so badly to stroke my cock as it began to rise, but my hands were otherwise occupied. It was a beautiful torture.
After folding her skirt and placing it on top of her blouse, Letty picked up her riding crop and slowly turned to face me. Her body was on full display now, the corset that hugged her body accented by silver rivets that climbed up toward her breasts, breasts which were held up by the garment and pushed together in a delicious display of cleavage, despite their modest size.
As she walked back towards me my eyes fell to her swaying hips, and soon her bare cunt, accented by a tasteful tuft of hair just above the lips, was inches from my face. My mouth began to water, and my cock strained upward, hard and tight, from between my thighs. Letty's hand came down to my head, and gently ran her perfectly manicured fingers through my hair. It was tender and sweet, and did nothing to quench the thirst I was feeling.
"I'm going to use your mouth until I'm satisfied. Do you understand?"
"Yes, mistress," I yelped, desperate to give her what she wanted.
Her hand cupped the back of my head, and guided me toward the promised land.
My nose pushed into her tuft of hair, and quickly my mouth felt the warm flesh of her lips. They were warm. They were slick. They were wet. Letty's cunt was wet for me. My tongue snaked out, desperate to taste her arousal, and as the tip began to lap at her creamy nectar, I felt her stiffen up and gasp slightly.
I sighed deeply at her involuntary pleasure response. Emotion of any kind was at a premium with Letty, and this small, almost imperceptible break in her stoicism fueled me. Now, just like last time, with her hand on the back of my head, I began to kiss and lick at her swollen lips firmly and wetly. My cock strained outward almost painfully as I worked, a desperate monument to how much I wanted to please her.
Once again she made no sound, but the sharp intakes and exhales of breath through her nose told the story of her building pleasure. My tongue rolled over her pearl of a clit, undulated and pitched up, pushing into her tight, wet cunt. She tasted so sweet, so right, and I could feel her body beginning to boil as I stoked her flame.
Then for a second, and only for a second, she lost her composure, and I heard a sharp moan slip from her throat. A crack in her armor. This only intensified my efforts, wanting to capitalize on the sensation I was giving her, but a sharp tug pulled at my scalp as her tender hand turned to a tight fist around my hair, and pulled me back, disconnecting me from her sweet, commanding sex. My mouth was covered in a sheen of her juices, a long, thick strand connecting my chin to her cunt.
She pulled my hair hard, tipping my head back even further. There was a wildness to her eyes now, but she never seemed out of control. Her other hand came down to my face, gathered some of the juice smeared all over me with her thumb, and pushed it into my mouth. My lips instinctually closed around it and I began to suck, rolling my tongue around it as I did.
She didn't even have to ask.
Popping her thumb out of my mouth, I felt her hand in my hair grip hard again in readjustment. My cock flared. Looking down at me with her icy eyes, her breasts starting to heave slightly in her corset, she commanded "open your mouth and stick out your tongue."
"Yes, mistress," I gasped, and did as she asked.
Holding my head firmly, she took a step forward and pushed her wet cunt forcefully into my face, dropping her lips right onto my tongue. I felt her hand in my hair regrip again, and then her hips started to move. Thrusting. Grinding. Firm. Deliberate. the sweetness of her juices poured into my mouth as my boss began to fuck my face.
This wasn't like the last time. Last time she wanted me to give her pleasure, this time she wanted nothing more than to take it. Each hard thrust into me was accompanied by a sharp exhale through her nose as she used my mouth like a common sex toy. I should have been insulted. I should have felt degraded. The only thing I felt was extreme arousal.
I held my tongue as still as possible as she ground her clit into me. The sharp nasal exhales became faster, and I could tell she was getting close. Suddenly her hips began to tremble. She steadied herself on my face with her other hand, gripping my head tightly with both. I looked upward at the woman currently owning me, her eyes closed, lost in the sensation.
Her mouth hung open for a quick gasp, then another. Then a third. Then a moan escaped her throat as before, and I knew this was it: she was cumming.
That small display of weakness would be all I got tonight though, as she stiffened up, pursed her lips tightly, and rode out the rest of her orgasm through sharp nasal breaths.
Watching this woman cum was intoxicating. She needed to be in control at all times, even in orgasm, and something about it aroused me greatly. I saw it as a challenge. She may be the one making the rules and calling the shots, but right then and there I made it my goal to not leave for college without making her scream.
A long, deep exhale signaled the end of her pleasure, accompanying the release of the death grip on my head like some sort of hydraulic piston lowering. Her fingers loosened in my hair, and she stepped back, disconnecting herself from my sore, used jaw.
She took a moment to admire her handiwork, and it's true, I was quite a sight, I'm sure: naked, on my knees, hands tied behind my back, messed up hair, a river of saliva and cunt juice streaked down from my mouth to my pubic bone, all while my cock stood at a straining, intense attention.
Letty's eyes took in my erection, then ticked back up to mine. "Stand."
"Yes, mistress," I said, struggling to my feet. She directed me to rest myself on her desk, and after giving her the appropriate response I rested my ass on the lip of her desk. Letty's eyes went back to my cock, sticking out swollen and hard.
She ran the tip of her riding crop over my balls, and teased my length up and down. "That looks uncomfortable," she said with an almost imperceptible smirk, "is that for me?"
"Yes, mistress," I gasped, "all for you."
"I see," she said, echoing her words from last time.
Letty stepped towards me, and sidled up to me close. I wasn't sure what to do; she pressed her body into mine in a way she never had before. It was almost romantic.
One hand drifted down and cupped my full balls. I let out a deep, pleasureful exhale; her hand felt euphoric on my desperate, swollen stones.
"Are these for me too?" she said, rolling them around in her fingers.
"Yes, mistress."
"Have you emptied them since the last time we were together?"
"Yes, mistress."
Her hand slid up, and I let out an involuntary moan when I felt her long fingers wrap around my shaft. She squeezed firmly, testing my hardness. I held my breath. And then her hand began to slowly stroke along my length.
"Oh my god," I whispered as she began jerking me off at a painstakingly slow pace.
"Was it by yourself? Or with a lover?"
"B-both, mistress," I stuttered, the sensations she was sending through my body putting me in almost a trance-like state.
"I see," she said in an uncharacteristically syrupy tone, "who was she?"
"My friend's, girlfriend." I barely got the words out. I don't know why I told her that, but clearly her hand on my cock was better than any truth serum.
"How very naughty of you," she dripped, stroking me still, "did you fuck her?"
"Yes, mistress," I said, beginning to shake.
"And where did she take your seed?" Her hand was sending me careening toward the edge. I could feel her hard nipples pressed into my arm.
"Inside her," I choked out, barely hanging on, "and, and,” images of Kerri flashed in my mind. “ on her face."
"Did you like it?" She whispered deep into my soul, "did you like fucking your friend's girlfriend?" her hand sped up, driving me, pulling me. "Did you like it when she emptied your balls in her cunt and on her face?"
My body began to vibrate. Thick precum began to drip down my shaft and over Letty's fingers. I felt the well inside me bubble and start to rush toward the surface.
"Y-yes, mistress!"
"Then you don't need me to make you cum, then, do you?" She said with the icy, authoritarian tone she had when I arrived, disappearing her hand from my throbbing cock and shifting her body away from me just as I was about to explode.
My hands were tied behind my back. There was no possible way for me to finish myself off. I almost screamed.
"Please, mistress; Please!" I cried, but Letty said nothing. She picked up her skirt and began to put it back on as I huffed and heaved in denial of my orgasm. She then followed suit with her blouse, silently buttoning it up as my breath began to calm down.
Letty moved to the chair behind her desk, sat, and began looking at documents and papers as I stood there naked and wet, huffing breath, my hands still tied behind my back. It began to dawn on me that this really was it. She was not going to give me any release.
This was so much worse than last time.
I stood there, my body cooling down, my arousal giving way to self-conscious awkwardness. My cock began to deflate, and soon hung flaccid between my legs. Looking up at my soft member, Letty finally reached over, pulled the ribbon around my wrists and untied me.
"Put your clothes back on." She said dispassionately, going back to her papers, "clean up the floor and then you may leave."
"Y-yes mistress," I said in a daze. I stumbled my way into my clothes, then wiped up the bodily fluids we had spilt on the floor.
I stood in silence, waiting for her to acknowledge me. Finally, she looked up at me, almost as though she had forgotten I was even there.
"Well go then!" she said with a shooing motion, then went back to her papers.
"Yes, mistress," I said quietly, turning for the door. I needed to get to the car immediately. I needed to finish the job, and I didn't think I could make it home first.
"And Tim?" She called to me. I turned back and looked at those icy blue eyes once more. "I better not catch you pleasuring yourself in the parking lot on my way out."
"Yes, mistress," I groaned once more and made my way out of Letty's office.
I replayed the events in my mind at light speed as I walked toward the exit of the building. I couldn't believe the crashing waves of pleasure, pain, and frustration she sent through me, all at once. My body was still vibrating. I thought about her cunt on my tongue, her fingers on my cock, and then something gave me pause.
I was too shattered to take stock of it at the time, but now I remembered that when she turned away from me, after she took her hand off of me, she raised it up to her mouth and licked her fingers. She didn't want me to see it, but I knew what she had done: she licked my precum off of her fingers.
I felt the blood start to surge back to my cock. I needed to get out of there fast.
Hustling to the car, I peeled out of the parking lot, and headed to the nearest secluded place I could think of; The Spot. The vibrations of the drive, and the thoughts of Letty licking my precum off her hand, sent my cock skyrocketing back to hardness. I parked in a dark, isolated section of the Spot and practically tore my pants open.
I was hard as iron, but I needed something to put me over the edge, so I pulled out my phone and scrolled through one of the many images I took of Kerri covered in my semen. They were undeniably hot, but something kept me scrolling past them until I landed on a video.
I hit play, and started desperately stroking my painfully hard cock as moving images lit up my screen. Images of my cock appearing and disappearing between the soft pillowy lips of Stephanie. I stroked along in time, my eyes locked on hers, and pretty soon I heard my past self prepare her for what was coming next. I watched her pull her lips off my slick cock and command "Do it, baby, cum for me ;  I want it all over me!"
I did as she desired, in the video, and in real life.
My cock lurched, and my balls painfully pulled up to my body as I exploded right there in my car. The first shot reached the neckline of my shirt, but I lost track of the rest, as I was too focused on Stephanie’s gorgeous face, her perfect body, getting showered in my hot seed. I pulsed and pulsed, soaking my fist and pants as the sounds of her delighted giggle filled my ears.
"How do I look with your cum all over me, Timmy?" She said with a smoldering look at the lens as she dragged a thick splatter of cum off her cheek and into her mouth.
"Fucking amazing" I said along with my video counterpoint.
I sat there quietly, coming down from my earth-shattering orgasm, covered in my own jizz, watching Stephanie’s smiling face flash across my screen. Tears began to well in my eyes.
Goddamnit I missed her.
Shutting off the video, I looked blankly out into the night, and only then did I realize there was another vehicle at The Spot as well. It was a big van; one of those comfortable cruiser types. I watched it for a moment, the dull bass hum of music faintly audible from inside. I began to imagine what the scene must be like inside, when two people emerged, casually moving toward the long side of the van.
Despite the dark and the distance, I could tell it was a guy and a girl, and the small red throb moving back and forth told me they were sharing a cigarette. I couldn't make out their faces, and wondered who they were, what they were discussing.
I was about to turn on the engine and leave when in almost a single motion, the girl tossed the red ember of the cigarette away, and then gave the guy a rough shove against the side of the van. He seemed unfazed by it, but the girl's hands went to her cocked hips in clear annoyance. I was sure I was about to witness a serious domestic dispute, and then the girl dropped to her knees.
She pawed at his pants, obviously freeing his cock, and then I watched as her head began to bob. She sped up, clearly getting into it, but the guy seemed fairly nonplussed by the whole experience. The girl went at it hard for a few minutes, then seemed to give up, pulling away and standing up, clearly annoyed once more. They exchanged a few inaudible words, and the guy walked back toward the van. The girl lingered momentarily, shook her head in disbelief, and then started off after him.
Once they were out of sight I fired up my car and headed home in silence, wondering who she was, who they were, and what I had just witnessed. Those thoughts would follow me into the shower, and then into sleep.
The next two days at work passed without incident or note.
Letty said nothing to me out of the ordinary, and small talk with Gina remained just that. She may not have spoken much to me, but my mind was filled with images of Letty's perfect ass and tight cunt. I had left the other night practically a broken man, but still, I couldn't wait till the next time we were together. I was determined to please her. I was determined to make her scream.
I said my farewells, thanking Gina once again for covering for me, and spent the night by myself, both Kelly and Alexa out for the evening. Despite leaving the next day for a three day church group outing, I couldn't bring myself to jerk off one final time. My mind was too filled with worry about seeing Christine, about what this weekend might bring and how bad we might end up, to muster the brainpower for arousal.
Kelly dropped me off at the church the next morning, and I hung around chatting with the other kids as we waited for everyone to arrive so we could head off.
Christine was already there, and after a brief, polite hello, we drifted to different sides of the church yard. She may not have wanted to talk to me, but I couldn't help but look at her every chance I got. Her long, brown hair was done up in a messy bun, accentuating her long, slender neck. It was a little chilly that morning, so she wore a big, oversized sweatshirt, but her long, toned legs were still on display, stretching out from a tight pair of short shorts, despite the cold.
Soon the youth pastor and the chaperones gathered us all around to call roll before our departure. I raised my hand when I heard my name, and saw Christine's go up when they called out hers. She was so gorgeous. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.
The rest of the names washed over me as I thought about the weekend and what lie in store. I had a chance, we had a chance, to work things out; to figure out exactly what was going on between us; and I was determined to make the most of it. I wasn't going to let anything distract me from figuring out where Christine and I stood.
At least that's what I told myself before my daydream was broken by the call of the next two names.
"Rachel and, Devon?" the youth pastor called out. My eyes snapped toward the pale hand that raised up from the crowd. My eyes followed it down to a head of strawberry blonde hair, and two of the biggest tits I had ever seen.
There was Rachel, and with her was the guy I had seen her with those times at the cafe.
I swallowed hard.
"Oh, boy."
Chapter 27: The church camping trip
It was dark. It was raining. We were running. The sky had opened up, a practical tsunami coming fast and hard down through the leaves of the forest trees, and we were desperately trying to race to shelter back at camp.
My hand was around her wrist; I didn't want to lose her. We hustled and moved, over twigs and weeds, until we saw the faint light of the smoldering campfire. It was well past lights out, and the rest of our number had long since gone to bed. All but us. We laughed.
The rain was so loud, pounding on the leaves and the nylon roofs of the tents, we were desperate for shelter. As we broke through the trees, we bee lined it for the first tent in view; my tent.
I laughed and swore as I fumbled with the zipper, her laughter joining mine in an intoxicating chorus as the rain pelted us. Freeing the door we quickly ushered ourselves in, closed the flap, and collapsed in a wet pile of laughter and exhausted breath.
My eyes fell onto her, this beautiful creature, and then onto her body. Her wet clothes clung tightly to her curves. Her hard nipples poked out prominently through the fabric. I wanted to taste them.
Our laughter died down, but the tension was rising. We looked at each other. We knew. The rain was loud; camouflaging. No one would know.
A crack of thunder in the distance followed a flash of lightning.
We kissed.
She took my hand and placed it on her breast.
"I hate camping," I thought as we neared hour two of the long drive to the campground, "I don't know why I thought this was a good idea."
This of course was a lie. I was on my way to the church youth group camping trip, my final excursion with the group before aging out and heading off to college. It's usually a pretty good time, and was always fun to spend some time away and hang out with the other kids, including the pastor's daughter, my friend Christine. This year I thought it had the potential to be great, however, because this year I had been in the midst of a torrid, clandestine, sexual affair with Christine. Christine was a girl who cared about her piety, but still had natural, carnal needs, and so Christine and I had been seeing each other the past couple months so we could indulge those needs.
It had been electric.
We had rules though. There had been no penetration, and I was forbidden to touch her anywhere below the neck. Draconian, I know, but it hadn't stopped us from getting creative and enjoying each other. I had been surprised to learn that the preacher's daughter not only loved giving head, but seemed to have an honest to goodness cum fetish.
My mind drifted, remembering the feel of her wet, tender mouth sliding around the length of my hard cock; her tongue teasing my tip; her gorgeous brown eyes looking up at me as she sucked; the way her body shook in orgasm when she touched herself; the satisfied pleasure on her face when I finally gave her all my sperm. I shifted in my seat, turning away from the person next to me as I felt my pants begin to grow tight.
Those visuals lived rent free in my memory, but right now all I could see was the back of her head and her flowing brown hair. While I would have loved to be sitting up next to her, sneaking touches and feels secretly on the long journey, I was two seats behind her in the big van, thanks to our last encounter.
She had just returned from a trip with her parents, I had just spent the night committing adultery with my friend's girlfriend Kerri, and when our bodies collided in the front seat of my car, something was off. She was much too eager, I was much too hesitant. Our arrangement had been just that; an arrangement; one that was purely physical. Up until that moment we had both been happy enough as it was, or so I thought, but now something had changed in both of us. There was something more happening between us than just mutually assured orgasm, and I don't think either of us knew how to handle it.
I also didn't think either of us really wanted to talk about it, but as the sexy plans for the weekend went out the window, I didn't think we'd have much of a choice.
But as my eyes caught the second church van coming up beside us on the highway, my mind turned to the other wrench thrown into my expectations for the weekend: Rachel.
Rachel split time between our church and her parents' church, so it's true her presence wasn't that odd, but in the entire time I had known her, she had never come to the annual camping trip. She had even, on occasion, been known to talk about how camping was one of her least favorite activities, so obviously my suspicions were piqued.
Why now? Why this trip? Was it because it was the last event before we left for college? Or could it have something to do with the last time she was in a tent, the night of her senior prom where I fingered her to orgasm and she jerked me off until I exploded all over her hands and streaked her naked tits with my cum?
Oh, those tits. The biggest I had seen in my young life. I shifted again, remembering the way they jiggled and shook as both her hands stroked me; how my cock came so tantalizingly close to slipping between them. And when she finally made me explode, the sight of those tits lashed by a whip of my cum made my orgasm even stronger. It was an already unforgettable experience made even more so by the sharp come down of what came next.
Passions fading, Rachel had taken stock of the fluids that covered her, my fluids, and responded the way any young, sexually naive person would hope their partner would express their acceptance of what they just shared; by exclaiming "Ew, gross!"
It was only two words, but they were two words that honestly hurt. We had just shared something extremely private with each other; I had shared with her my body, out of control, at its most vulnerable, and her reaction was to recoil in disgust. Maybe not the end of the world in the grand scheme of things, but for someone having their first sexual experience, it set an odd tenor.
We hadn't really talked much after the awkward end to that night, but there was something in the air the few times we had interacted since, something that told me the night was memorable for her, despite her ultimate reaction. The way her chest flushed when we made eye contact across the room at church, certain cues I picked up on in those times we saw each other at the cafe, her willingness to follow up a bawdy joke with me online; it all made me wonder if her appearance here had anything to do with me. With us. But I was probably just overthinking it. Besides, she had brought another guy with her; I couldn't imagine she had any designs on me. But still, it all seemed suspicious.
This guy she brought, I learned, was named Devon, and was that same handsome African American guy I had seen her with a couple times at the cafe. He seemed very friendly, and I'd learn later on that he also went to Rachel's other church. I didn't know the guy, and he seemed nice enough, but as soon as I saw him, I felt that cold pang of jealousy spread through my stomach. I couldn't explain it;  I wasn't interested in Rachel at that moment, my mind was fully set on handling the Christine situation, but that's the funny thing about the young, male, hormonal mind, isn't it? Jealousy born of nothing but proximity and speculation.
Maybe it was because here was a guy she seemed to have chosen to spend time with, instead of awkwardly rejecting. Maybe it was because there was a chance he was regularly getting to play with Rachel's massive, spectacular tits. Maybe it was because there was a chance she didn't think his cum was gross.
To be continued in Part 17
By LiminallySpaced for Literotica.
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kayvsworld · 7 years
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Could u convince be not to hate Steve 'Hypocrite' Rogers? I'm really trying not to hate him but whnever I think about anything to do with him I just get even angrier at him. MCU Steve is a repentless fuck up and I wanna know what u have to say about him? U don't seem like u hate him and u also love Tony so I figure u probably see stuff I'm not seeing and I wanna know what ;u; (mostly so I can stomach stony fics to widen my range of reading material) :p
steve rogers is a stubborn emotionally-constipated asshole. i also love him very very much. here are some post-cacw thoughts on why i still love him:
flawed characters are good, and the only reason we expect Perfection from This Particular Human Character is bc other people (and…the narrative….) put him on a pedestal. I can’t be mad at him for doing what he thought was the right thing, because as a fan of tony stark, i know that sometimes things that seem like a good idea at the time are maybe actually not always that great
issue: banking on the fact that your rich genius teammate and his team of lawyers will still get you and your friend out of a bad situation After you let him know that the friend in question murdered his parents a week before christmas and that you’ve lived in his house and looked him in the eye while Knowing Abt This for several goddamn years is uh. a v scary situation and potentially a bad plan for 19 reasons. prioritize the people you know are ride or die & cut ur losses
some people are emotionally constipated assholes who do their best and fail miserably,,,,To Cope™
ok but seriously have you ever had 6.3 billion Terrible Things happen to you in rapid succession, and then One More Thing comes along (to take away the only remaining thing in your life you can control and the only semblance of normalcy you have left) and you just. dig your heels in automatically and go “absolutely fucking not”
like i will personally bet you 5 canadian dollars that steve has been crossing his arms and glaring at the tv for months like “listen what else do they want us to do. we’re helping. we’re the good guys. they Have To See That we’re good people and we’re doing our best and we saved the world Come On if we just wait…maybe…….it will…..Be Fine without us having to do anything? maybe?” 
he’s been fighting to keep People™ safe for a While and it’s Apparently still not enough and he is probably tired and bitter and frustrated. also, last time he was working for/with a third party they turned out to be nazis and while i get that that 100% isn’t the same as a UN Panel (noT THE SAME, STEVEN) at some point you have to take a quote out of context, plant urself like a stubborn asshole tree, and say “actually no fuck you please just let me do the only thing that is giving my life meaning right now in a way that doesn’t make me feel trapped and afraid for myself and my team”
peggy (steve’s last connection to his life before waking up in the future) had just died, and bucky (steve’s surprise Actual last connection to his life before waking up in the future) has been having a Hell Time and is being targeted. sometimes when you find out your best friend has been brainwashed and tortured for 70 years, your bullshit meter maxes out and you (steve rogers, “fight me” personified) want to give the finger to anyone who wants to do absolutely else to that person. yes, getting him help was an option (the other option being some kind of prison?) but also, it still would have been someone else making that choice for bucky, and at some point yelling “can you please just leave him alone” with ur fists becomes a default reaction
as someone who regularly avoids things when i should really deal with them, i 100% believe that there is a large part of steve that genuinely thought he was protecting tony. sure, he was protecting himself and bucky, too, and he admits that openly, but i can buy that steve had been sitting on the couch for months listening to tony talk about Processing His Grief Through Technology and screaming internally like “would it truly and genuinely make it easier on this guy to know that his parents were brutally murdered by my friend and i’ve known abt it for 2 years when he’s still this messed up over it already oh my god”
the problems i have with a lot of steve’s choices really just come down to the film not giving him room to put up a legit argument. a lot of it was banking on me assuming that captain america & the team were correct bc they’re cap & the team in a captain america movie? if they had given steve a speech instead of a shitty letter, i’m sure i would have initially understood his side a lot better
some people are emotionally constipated assholes who do their best and fail miserably,,,,To Cope™ Part 2: The Letter
steve is not great at feelings. steve is not great at processing and expressing his feelings in a healthy way. steve is an all-or-nothing prickly bitch (see: every film he’s been in) and taking these excellent canon facts into account, i do actually genuinely believe that this dude forced himself to sit down while in hiding to write 12 different drafts of this letter by hand in cursive and eventually ended up with the monstrosity tony received
he can’t apologize for the accords situation, because he doesn’t think he’s wrong, so he can only apologize for hurting tony. “i’m not sorry for what i did but i’m sorry that it hurt you” is a shitty thing to read and say but i guess at least,,,he,,,was honest? steven why didn’t you get a friend to proofread this letter
by saying that the avengers are more tony’s family than his, he probably thinks he’s acknowledging that tony cares about them and was doing what he thought was best. im personally for my own sanity choosing to believe that.
“i’ve never really fit in” aka “okay i definitely didn’t talk enough about where i was coming from at all for the past few…..years….and this was the only draft that included my ‘i’ve been lowkey struggling’ admission and didn’t sound vaguely pathetic or directly mention my friend who involuntarily murdered your parents” 
this entire thing is actually imo a fairly decent “listen i know things are really messy right now and i hurt you and we’re both still upset, but here’s some effort on my part. if you ever need anything, here’s how you can contact me & i promise i will still drop everything to come help you with what you need” gesture considering the situation & time frame
anyway, steve for sure messed up with his approach to this and put a lot of people in danger, but as someone who is a fan of tony stark i have to take The Context into consideration and also understand that sometimes people do questionable things even while having the best intentions. it was a really rough situation and i think mr evans did a great job of showing steve emotionally shutting down and struggling for the past few films? i can see where he was coming from from an emotional standpoint, & bc of these and 130 other reach-y reasons including me just enjoying him as a person, i forgive him. it’s 2:30am this is so long oh my god
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