#I'm also grieving the loss of my 'pet' mouse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

comicallybored · 4 months

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On Suffering

Everytime I step out of my house, I'm reminded of Suffering. Pain that engulfs all humans, which doesn't discriminate on on the color of your skin, your beliefs, your religion. A Suffering that's universal.

Everytime I see a family outside, happily eating amongst themselves, I don't see happiness, I see the suffering in their tired eyes. I see a painful wail masked beneath a beautiful smile. I wonder how they'd have dealt with the death of a loved one, how they'd still be feeling and grieving the absence of someone who was otherwise present with them.

Everytime I see someone returning from their work, be it a corporate worker or a balloon seller, I see the pain of being tired, tired of life and it's silly, strange ways.

Everytime I see members of the labor class, sitting amongst themselves and eating, I dont see joy, I try to, but I don't. I see pain, suffering, physical and mental exhaustion that I perhaps won't ever understand but I can empathize with.

I now went out to buy groceries and restock our tea leaves (चाय पत्ति), the street doggo I've named FIRDAUS, follows me everywhere i go, I give him his daily dose of biscuits and milk, and loads of pets, and he also squeaks like a little mouse. But behind his wagging tail, I see a soul who has suffered, who has been wronged, who has seen loss and grief, and I wish I had the means to communicate with him on our griefs, on our sufferings, but I wouldn't be able to.

I come home and have a breakdown, because I can't ever unsee suffering from people's eyes, even the ones I passionately hate. Perhaps that's why I'm a bit gentle with people and offer a shoulder to cry on.

I sometimes feel that my soul has seen enough suffering, I won't be able to handle anymore after this lifetime. This is what drew me to be a mumukshu, a seeker of moksha, because I for one am tired of living and re living. I want to be liberated by both life and death, and more so by knowledge of the true meaning of life.

I was once afraid of dying, but now I look forward to it, I might sound like a cynic, but I simply cannot handle the suffer in this सफर.

#musings #desi thoughts #desi rant #desi tag #suffering #philosophy #spirituality

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