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peaceteaa11 · 2 years

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My Rockstar

Part One of My Rockstar

Pairing: Eddie Munson x OC Henderson

Rating: Dis one is clean... story has spice potential.

Warnings: Pining, ouch b/c pining, rockstar Eddie. Also Pining.

Summary: After almost a year of no contact Eddie shows up at Indiana Henderson's house to say hello. This only reminds Indiana of her lifelong love for Eddie, her high school best friend turned rockstar.

A/N: I have proofread but like at 1am maybe 2am not sure. So is it perfect, definitely not? But I hope you enjoy it. This will probs be a series along with Love Luna. Also, a one-shot and part three of Love Luna are coming soon. I've been on vacation sooooo, so I've been busy relaxing or something.

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE RIGHTS TO THE STRANGER THINGS CHARACTERS IN THIS FIC. I ONLY OWN OCS I HAVE CREATED SUCH AS INDIANA AND THE BAND MEMBERS.***

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"Indiana! Indiana!" I hear my brother's voice echoing down the hallway of our house and I giggle in response to his silence.

"Dustin! Dustin!" I shout back as I look up from my papers. Ever since I started college Dustin has been clingier than ever. This is mostly because of Eddie Munson. They were so close and Dustin felt truly alone once Eddie left. It's gotten better now that he and Steve have reconnected but it was one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen. My little brother curled up in my lap like an injured animal, sobbing about the absence of his good friend. I think it hurt him beyond belief when Eddie Munson actually graduated from high school. I mean it was a weird moment, we were all happy for him, but we knew he was going to leave us behind as soon as he could. Eddie couldn't wait to leave Hawkins. And now he's literally famous so he never comes home to Hawkins. He and his band are literally all over the world. Yeah, the world.

Eddie. I was in love with Eddie, everyone knew that, so when he left it hurt my heart more than I ever thought was possible. I never got to tell him how I felt, but Dustin's connection with Eddie was different. I think Dustin may have been even more hurt than me. I mean, Eddie doesn't even call. I don't blame him though. I'd try to forget Hawkins if I could, especially after everything that went down senior year.

"Indie!" Dustin shouts louder. I laugh and exit my room making my way to the front of the house.

"If you're not bleeding out on the living room floor there is no need to be yelling like that-" I pause when I see Dustin standing in the living room hugging a leather-covered and chained man. Familiar rings patting my brother's head.

"Eddie! Eddie's back!" Dustin shouts loudly as he turns to face me. I stare at Eddie Munson, the world's newest and hottest rockstar.

"Hey, Eds." I hum with a small smile. My heart aches at the sight of him. He's just as pretty as he was when he left.

"Hey, Eds? That's all I get?" he chuckles and walks closer but I feel like I'm glued to the floor. He smiles wider and tosses his arms around me and squeezes me into his chest. God. He even smells the same. I pull away and grab onto the front of the familiar jacket from high school. I scan all the familiar patches and buttons. I skim my fingers along them and sigh. I grab his arm pulling his sleeve up to relieve his tattoo. It's really him.

"It's really you." I whimper as my lip quivers. His fingers lift my chin up and he smiles sweetly.

"Were you hoping for someone else?" He lifts his brow teasingly. I shake my head violently and dive back into a hug. He sighs into my hair and squeezes me tightly into his chest as I choke back tears. Suddenly I hear a big commotion and four other voices.

"Hey, Munson. Where should we park?" Eddie releases me and turns to face the open door.

"Nowhere here," he laughs. "This is just an old friend's house. I had to stop by. We're going to the trailer."

"How are we supposed to all fit in a trailer mate?" A tall buff man hums curiously as his eyes land on me. "Oh. Hello. You must be the old friend." He smiles politely and I nod slowly, sort of confused.

"Oh! Guys com'ere!" Suddenly there are four other guys in my living room all smiling at me and Dustin who looks starstruck. It takes a moment but I recognize these faces. They are the ones I saw on stage at Eddie's band's first show. "Everyone this is Dustin and Indiana. My old friends from high school. we went through hell together." Eddie winks at me and Dustin who chuckles but I'm still stinging from the repeated use of the word friend.

I'm not sure what I expected if he ever came home. It's not like I would be able to confess my love and him say he feels the same and then live happily ever after.

"Devin, Sailor, Gates, and Taylor. Right?" I ask quietly and all their eyes go wide including Eddie's. They all nod and smile at me.

"Awe. Eddie! Do you talk about us?" Gates teases and before Eddie can answer or I can stop myself I'm blurting out more things.

"No. Sorry. I just know your names from articles, shows, and such. Eddie never calls us." I cross my arms over my chest and all the guys look to Eddie who is now looking down at the floor. I sort of feel bad about my snarky comment but it is just the tip of the iceberg. He was my best friend. I am in love with- I was in love with him. And he never even called. Of course, he didn't know I loved him, but still. We were best friends.

"I-" Eddie starts and I wave my hand.

"I'm just joking." I smile and nudge Eddie who looks at me with big brown sad eyes. "Seriously. Don't cry, Munson. It was a joke. You used to like those." I giggle and the others join in but Eddie continues to stare at me. "Uh, do you guys want something to eat?" I ask softly. All the band members say yes but Eddie releases a resounding no. "It's no trouble, Eddie. Also if you wanted to, our mother is out on a business trip this month so we have two spare bedrooms. If you all don't wanna cram into Eddie's trailer." I smile trying to make up for my earlier comment. All their eyes light up but Eddie stares at me with his mouth open.

"Homecooked food and a bed rather than a floor. I'm in heaven." Sailor smiles at me and I politely return the favor.

"I love this girl, Munson!" Taylor cracks a goofy smile and winks at me. I laugh a bit.

"No. No. NO." Eddie shakes his head and waves his hands around. "We can impose like this." Eddie glares at the band for accepting. I grab his shoulder and rub it just like I used to do in high school to calm him down. He looks down at me and smiles softly.

"It's no imposing. I offered. And I know Dustin and I would love to have you here while you're in town." Now all of that was true. I wanted to spend every possible second with him. Even if it would break my heart worse when he leaves again. "How long are y'all here?" I ask the band and they smirk.

"Only a week or two." Taylor nods.

"Yeah, just a nice getaway from all the tabloids and shit." Devin sighs. "Oh shit. Should I not cuss in his presence?" He points to Dustin. I look at Dustin and we both break out into laughter.

"Nah, you're good. I curse more than my sister does." Dustin grins.

"Alright well. You can park behind Eddie's van in the drive and then offload and I'll show you to the rooms." I smile. "I'll start dinner. Dustin help them." I nod as the band smiles and walks out to get their stuff with Dustin in tow.

I turn to head into the kitchen mostly to catch the breath that was knocked out of me as soon as I saw Eddie. I feel cool rings wrap around my upper arm and I look to face Eddie. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"I wanted- I know that I should've... I should've called, Indie. I'm sorry." Eddie stares down at me intensely.

"Eddie, it's fine. You're a big rockstar with a hoard of groupies. I'm sure it's hard to remember the small shit town of Hawkins, Indiana." I smile, afraid that I may start crying.

"I didn't forget about-"

"Eddie! You can stay in my room!" Since there are only two empty bedrooms. That makes the most sense." Dustin mumbles from under a large box of records. I laugh at him as he has obviously started to unpack Eddie's van without him. I packed that box when he left.

"Hey! I'm not moving in, Gremlin!" Eddie lets go of my hand and grabs the box from Dustin. "Only grab my suitcases-"

I use this time to escape into the kitchen. I lean against the counter and feel the pit in my stomach twist and lurch. I feel like I'm going to throw up. The love of my life is staying at my house for maybe two weeks after almost a year of no contact. I hear the boys shuffling around and unpacking which pulls me back to reality.

That's right. Dinner. I have to cook dinner. Fuck. Do we even have food in the house for seven people?

"I invited Steve and Robin! To Dinner! You should invite Chrissy!" Dustin shouts from the hall where one of the landlines is.

"Chrissy Cunningham?" Eddie's voice startles me as I look for a pan.

"Shit." I stand up and hit my head on an open cabinet "Ouchie." I groan and look at Eddie who is already almost on top of me.

"Shit. Are you okay?" He grabs my face and pulls me in to look at the top of my head.

"I'm okay. It's just a bump." I chuckle and pull away. The heat from his skin was enough to burn the feeling of him into my skin for an entirety.

"Oh. sorry." He mumbles and steps away. God. It's like we don't even know each other anymore. This is so awkward.

"Uh, Yea. Cunningham. She and I became friends at Hawkins Community College." I hum as I pull beef cubes from the fridge. "She's really sweet actually." I smile at Eddie who is leaning against the counter and staring over at me.

"Hm. She still dating Jason?" My heart drops.

"Uh, no," I whisper before moving past Eddie into the hall. "Any dietary restrictions?" I shout throughout the house.

"I hate lima beans!"

"I can't have dairy!"

"Nope!"

"Pickles. I hate pickles." Taylor says as he walks past me to the front door to retrieve more things.

"Mkay. Beef stew it is." I say mostly to myself and get a big pot out from under the counter. When I stand up this time I hit a dull surface rather than the sharp edge from earlier. I look to see Eddie's hand wrapped around the corner of the cabinet door I hit earlier.

"You didn't close the door, dork." he huffs and removes his hand from the cabinet, and smirks at me.

"Oh, thank you," I say softly as I close the door.

"Mhm. Need any help?" I glance over my shoulder at him and shake my head.

"Nope." I sigh as I begin to take out carrots and celery. I set them on the counter and grab a cutting board. I wash off the carrots and celery, placing them on the cutting board. Shit. Chrissy. "Dustin! Call Chrissy! See if she can come!"

"OKAY!" Dustin shouts from somewhere in the house. The whole time I'm cutting the veggies I am hyperaware of Eddie's presence. After a few minutes of silence, he speaks up again.

"I should've called." He whispers. I turn to look at him and find him staring at me. "No matter how busy I was, or how busy I am. I should've called you." His voice is low and wavers a few times. I stop chopping and scrape the veggies into the pot. I grab the pot and fill it with water and set the stove high enough to eventually boil the veggies. when that's done I set my eyes on Eddie again. Still having no idea how to respond. So I say the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Yeah, yeah, you really should have." I sigh and push the hair out of my face. His eyes meet mine and he looks truly disappointed in himself. "Dustin really missed you. A call or two would've been nice. You mean so much to him." I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the counter across from Eddie.

"And you?" He asks almost immediately.

"What about me?" I ask dumbly, just trying to avoid any feelings I still harbor for Eddie.

"Would you have liked me to call, to talk to you? Not Dustin." His face is scrunched so tight I'm afraid something may be burning. I glance at the veggies and then back to Eddie.

"I... I didn't want you to leave. I'm glad you did. I'm glad your dreams came true. I'm glad you got everything you ever wanted, Eddie, I really am. So don't mistake me when I say I wanted you to stay in Hawkins as something evil and resentful. Please. I just- I wanted you to stay here. I didn't want to have to miss you. So, yes, a call or two would have been nice. To hear from you in a letter would have been fine. Anything. Just a hello. To know you still care about your loser friends back in Hawkins." I force a small laugh at the last part. Eddie stays silent for a moment as he stares at me while I fight back any tears threatening to spill.

"Indie... of course, I still-"

"Party's on bitches!" I hear Steve's voice echo from the living room.

"Where's the man of honor?" Robin chuckles.

"Your fans are waiting, rockstar." I turn to continue cooking. My back facing Eddie, I listen for his footsteps to leave the kitchen. I break down. Tears fall like waterfalls down my cheeks.

I hate that the love I have for him didn't fade even a little in his absence. I'm still just as in love with him as I was the day he left. My heart aches in my chest when I feel a small hand on my back. I jump and wipe my face before turning around to see Chrissy. I nearly start sobbing again out of relief.

"Dustin told me over the phone and I broke like all the traffic laws to get here as soon as possible. I figured you'd be... upset." Chrissy's voice is light and gentle as she pulls me into a hug.

"Very upset," I confirm as I hide my face in her shoulder. She rubs her hand up and down my back slowly as everyone else laughs and goofs around in the living room. I hear introduction happening, band stories beginning, Eddie. His voice so clear to me.

"Come on. I'll help you finish making dinner for this small basketball team." Chrissy giggles. "Beef stew?" She asks and I nod as she moves to turn the water down and check the veggies.

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"Wow. This is... this is amazing!" Devin mumbles through his mouthful of food.

"Thanks," I smile, "Chrissy helped a lot though." I nod towards Chrissy who is seated right next to me.

"Nah. It was mostly, Indie." Chrissy laughs and continues to eat. Conversations flow throughout dinner.

The band tells embarrassing stories about Eddie and their tours. I stare down into my food listening to the secondhand accounts of Eddie's life. A life I used to know so well, better than my own. "Oh! And then we totally walked in on Eddie getting it on with a groupie! Like. GOING. AT. IT." Sailor chuckles nudging Devin. "Right Dev?"

"Oh yea! Shit was wild."

"Guys. Stop. They don't want to hear about my sex life." Eddie mumbles into his fork.

"Who here objects to all the embarrassing Eddie hookup stories?" Sailor asks with a smirk. No one object so he dives into another one while Eddie hides his face in his hands. I feel Chrissy's hand on my shoulder and I look over at her. The sympathy on her face was painful. It showed how broken I must look. I look down at the table as Sailor talks about Eddie making out with some chick in the crowd.

"I just realized we have no desert," I mumble and look up at everyone. They all look at me and smile sweetly. Everyone says it's okay and to not worry about it, but I'm looking for any excuse to get the fuck out of here. "No, no. I'll run and get something!" I force a big smile. "It's your vacation right guys?" The band all smiles at me sweetly.

"So you're like an angel or something?" Gates says in a fake dreamy voice.

"Or something." I wink at them. "Any requests?"

"Oooo chocolate cake if you can find any?" Sailor hums and winks at me. I smile and pick my plate up off the table. Robin and Steve try to catch my attention but I ignore them. They also know about my crush on Eddie, well, I suppose it's more than just a crush now. They, just like Chrissy must be able to tell that I am trying to escape.

"I'll look!" I walk into the kitchen and set my plate down on the counter. As I walk past the table again I get shouts of thank yous and love yous and you're the bests. I laugh a bit but then Eddie speaks up.

"I'll come," he says definitively. "I gotta pick stuff up from the trailer so I'll drive and we can stop there."

"Uh, or I could go with Indie, and you could just go to your trailer," I turn at Chrissy's sweet voice trying to save me. Eddie chuckles and grabs his jacket off the back of his chair and walks toward me.

"I think we're good." He smiles politely and Chrissy looks at me frantically. I nod at her and walk out the door heading towards Eddie's van. A more than familiar sight.

It's silent in the van on the way to Eddie's trailer. I watch the sun as it continues to set and I try to find comfort in the familiar smell of his van but it only hurts my chest more. Eddie turns his music up a bit to fill the silence, at least some things are still the same. As we pull up to the trailer Uncle Wayne is sitting outside smoking a cigarette. Both Eddie and I hop out once he kills the ignition. Wayne basically runs to his nephew and throws his arms around him. Bringing him into a tight hug.

"Gosh. Kiddo. Where have you been?!" Wayne pulls back and laughs. "Everywhere." He answers his own question. Eddie laughs and squeezes his uncle's shoulder.

"No kidding." Eddie glances back at me, "Uncle you remember Indie, right?" Wayne gives Eddie a strange look and Eddie frowns.

"Kiddo. Indie comes over every Friday to watch wheel of fortune." Wayne chuckles and walks over to hug me. I fall into his fatherly arms for a hug. When we part Wayne continues. "She's never missed a Friday. Ever. She's always here and always on time." Wayne smiles proudly at me and I laugh. "She even cooks lunches for me now that I'm working the day shifts."

"Oh?" Eddie smiles at his uncle and glances at me.

"Mhm. Someone's gotta take care of this old man," he mumbles and waves us inside. Eddie holds the door and allows me to go in first and once inside I lean against the counter as Wayne pulls out a pitcher of sweet tea I made him last Friday.

"You're running low. Do you want me to make some more?" I ask softly and Wayne's eyes widen.

"Oh absolutely!" He sets the jug down and grabs three random mugs off the counter, one of them being one I got him from one of Eddie's shows. The Chicago show. That was quite the weekend trip with Chrissy. I smile thinking back on it. "Eddie. Indie's sweet tea is the best drink you'll ever have." Wayne pours all three of us a mug and hands them out.

"Oh, did you like that pasta I tried the other day?" I ask as Wayne leans against the fridge. He hums in response.

"Good. A little spicy. But put a nice tang in my mouth." He chuckles.

"Okay. I'll tone down the spice next time and you'll have to let me know if it's better." I chuckle and take a sip of tea. For a second I forget about Eddie being here. It truly just feels like a wheel of fortune night.

"Um, how did you get this?" Eddie questions looking at his mug. He meets his uncle's eyes with questioning ones. Wayne looks at me and smiles.

"Did you two just reunite? Good lord. It's like you're living on two different planets." Wayne chuckles and points to me. "Indie got it from your, uh, Chicago right," I nod, "Yeah, your Chicago show." Wayne's words make Eddie whip his head to look at me.

"You came to a show? My show?" He mumbles softly.

I shrug, "Yeah, a few, whenever I could afford it or had the time to go. Uh, didn't you say you needed to grab some things? We still need to go pick up desert before the store closes." I answer quickly and calmly trying to avoid the interrogation I could feel coming on. Wayne frowns at me. He's known I've liked Eddie ever since we were ten. He's still hopeful, but, after the stories that were told tonight, it doesn't seem likely. Not that it even seemed likely before Eddie left if I'm being honest with myself.

"Oh. Yeah." Eddie sets his mug down and heads to his room in the back of the trailer. My heart drops when I remember that sometimes Uncle Wayne would let me stay in Eddie's room if it was super late or if I wanted space.

"Shit," I mumble and set my mug down. I hear Wayne chuckle to himself as I rush to the room and find Eddie looking around at my papers and clothes everywhere. He turns to me when he hears me step on the creaky floorboard in his doorway. "Uh, sorry. Sometimes I say here on Friday nights if it's late or uh, if I need a study space or something." I frantically begin to pick up my clothes off the floor and stack my papers that are filled with poems and letters that I never sent. I turn to face Eddie with a pile of papers in my hand and he frowns.

"You stay here?" He mumbles.

"Yes. But I promise I only touched your acoustic once. And it was simply to move it." I sigh and set the paper on his old desk that he rarely used. I force a small laugh when silence begins to fill the room.

"You... You sleep here?" He asks slowly as I turn to face him. I tilt my head and knit my brows together.

"Yeah, do you want me to... not do that?" I ask feeling a little confused and flustered.

"Nonono. That's- Sorry, that's not what I meant I just... I guess I'm getting flashbacks to hanging out in here, with you. Sleeping in my bed on late nights, or talking at the ceiling right next to one another." He smiles at me and I feel a blush begin to heat up my face.

"Um, yeah, those were the days." I laugh and pick up my pile of clothes tossing them into the corner. "Sorry. It's so... messy." I look down at my feet when I hear Eddie step closer. I look up to meet his gaze and he places his hand on top of my hand and lets it slide down the side of my hair and pauses at my face.

"Stop apologizing, love." He smiles and moves to grab some of his things. Completely unaware of the sudden breathing problem I am experiencing.

"Right." I sigh and quickly exit the room. When I get back in the kitchen with Wayne he smirks at me.

"Confessed yet?"

"Wayne," I warn softly. He shrugs and chuckles to himself.

"Now would be the time, Indie. You waited last time and look where that got you."

"Wayne, please. I don't even know him like that anymore." I huff and push my hair from my face trying to remove the tingle of his touch.

"Yet, your feelings remain unchanged, no?" He smirks.

"You're just like your nephew." I huff and grab my tea again. He hums as if he is thinking. Before he can say anything else I cut in softly again, barely even a whisper. "Besides. Super famous, wanted by everyone, rockstar, Eddie Munson would never want me like I want him. My chance has long passed." As I finish I hear Eddie drop something in his room.

"Fuck." He scoffs as he pushes his door open and heads towards the kitchen. "Damn box is so flimsy." He mumbles to both of us.

"What is in it?" Wayne questions.

"Uh, some old photos and stuff I want to take on the rest of the tour." Eddie smiles and my heart skips several beats. He looks at me and his eyes sparkle a bit. "I'm ready when you are." He hums.

"Hold on. Wayne, where that pot?" Wayne points to the cabinet under the sink. I quickly whip it out and light the stove. I fill the pot with water and grab three four tea bags from the counter. "Okay let this boil. not simmer, boil, but not boil over, for about 20 minutes. Then let it cool a little bit while it's still warm put three and a half cups of sugar, then toss some lemon slices in there. And you're all set. But remember the pitcher is plastic and will melt if you put the hot tea in there. So after the sugar let it cool. And don't put ice in the pitcher. It'll water it down." I give Wayne instructions and then place a quick kiss on his cheek. "Okay?"

"What would I do without you?" Wayne covers his heart and chuckles.

"Probably shrivel up and die of thirst or hunger." I giggle. Wayne nods in agreement and gives me a big hug then he maneuvers around the box Eddie is holding to hug him.

"I'll come back later this week," Eddie assures his uncle as they break their embrace.

"You should come with Indie on Wednesday. It's the trailer park cookout." Wayne winks at us. I roll my eyes and head towards the door with Eddie close behind.

"Love ya, Wayne," I giggle as I exit the trailer.

"Love you, sweetheart." He hums, "Be nice to her, kiddo." He tells Eddie before the trailer door closes.

In the van, silence takes over again. Music blasting as we pull into the supermarket lot. Eddie turns off the radio and turns to look at me, the van still running. I look over at him and frown in confusion.

"You okay?" I ask, tilting my head.

"No." He sighs. "I'm not okay. I ran away." He rubs his hands over his face before meeting my gaze.

"I thought that if I got far enough away. All the things here, all my feelings tied to this place, I thought they would disappear. But they haven't." I watch as tears swell in his eyes. I quickly grab his hands and wrap them in mine.

"Eddie. You weren't running away if you were chasing your dreams." I smile at him and that's when the dam breaks. Tears stream down his face and he brings my hands to his face. "Eds. Please. Please don't cry. You escaped Hawkins. Do you know how talented you have to be to do that? How determined?" I gently pull my hands from his to push his tear-damp hair off his cheeks. "I'm proud of you, Eddie." I smile at him as he stares over at me. "You did what we always wanted to do. Leave. Being a super famous rockstar is just a plus." I giggle and he shakes his head.

"Stop that." He grabs my hands and holds them against his cheeks again. "Stop saying that. I'm not a rockstar. I'm just Eddie." I want to agree with him but I don't.

"That's not true." His eyes widen in fear. "You're not Eddie anymore. You're... different now." I hum softly. "It's not a bad thing. People change. I mean, we changed." He shakes his head and tears threaten to spill again.

"No. No, I'm the same, Eddie. I feel the same as when I left, I am the same. You-"

"My Eddie never would have disappeared. You're not the same." I pull away from him and open the door to the van. "I'm gonna run inside and get a few deserts. Stay here and calm down. I don't want this to be how we spend the week-"

"Two weeks." He huffs.

"Maybe," I counter.

"Indie, please, I want to tell you everything." He cries as I jump out of the van.

"Eddie. Stop it. Please. I've heard enough of your hookups, happy band memories, and reasons why you left me all alone! Just stop it! Please." I turn to him with tears running down my face and he gasps a bit. "Eddie. Please stop crying. It's making me sad." I wipe my face and rush inside the supermarket.

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Okay! That's part one. I'm kinda in love with this story. Hope y'all enjoy.

Peace and Love, Babes!

Read part two

#eddie x oc #stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie my beloved #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #steve harrington #hurt/comfort #fictional crushes #peaceteaaposts

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boy-bug-ghoul · 1 year

Text

Things in take me back to eden that make me go feral

so it's my first time listening to tmbte fully after putting it off bc i knew i would be so excited i wouldn't be able to regulate my emotions HDSKSHD

and my ttrpg discord server had to witness me have very very live thoughts and reviews about the album and vessel's voice and vessel's new mask (which i plan on making!)

so here's some of those under the cut!! (i might continue to edit this as i listen again and again)

(i hope this is how you make a cut this is my first post)

Chokehold:

I was listening to per aspera ad inferi by ghost and plugged my ears so that the music was like fully reverberating around my skull and it was. such a good experience.

my hands over my ears, like rattling my eardrums

i did that with chokehold. fucking incredible bro it was. insane. so good.

the light piano noises?? juxtaposed with the SUDDEN HARDNESS AND THEN THE VOCALS AND AHSKDJHFS

The Summoning:

i don't have much to say about the summoning /pos. it's a classic. i think the first song i listened to from sleep token.

I've been listening to it a little more recently. the whole thing is so good especially like the middle bit where it goes so hard and the guitar goes "bleep bloop" (i read from somewhere,, the blog name evades my memory), THEN transitions into the ethereal flowy bit before iii starts bassing the house down

OH AND MY LOVE, DID I MISTAKE YOU FOR A SIGN FROM GOD

i love listening to the drums in ST songs as well. this is one of those crispy delicious drum songs

Granite:

i sing this pretty angrily. "if you had a problem then you should have told me" etc etc yk?

after that part it's sooooo easy to vibe to because of that underlying melody, its so satisfying i listen to it over and over again

"abstract toxicity" ben says

has been in my on repeat playlist for a while now haha

Aqua Regia:

i'm such a nerd about aqua regia. the first verse goes hard. the second verse goes hard. it all goes hard without having to go musically hard.

BECAUSE THE LYRICISM IS SO GOOD. "between teeth on a broken jaw, following a blood trail, frothing at the maw" "putting down the roses, picking up the sword" "oxytocin running in the ether" JUST TO NAME A FEW

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE. THE ALARM BELLS LYRIC. yeah.

also on my on repeat

Vore:

it's like the "gods" of tmbte yk? (it's because he starts out screaming. and i love it.)

but after that like, "will we remain stuck in the throat of gods" onwards,, it has something to it that makes me want to cry.

"there is always something in the way, i wanna have you to myself for once" there's so much yearning

so good. i feel bad for ignoring vore for a while before tmbte came out bc it really is. so good

Ascensionism:

i like the "oh woahs" at the start of vessel rapping

"half of a rhythm, half deity, glitches in the cold or gaps in a strange dream" HIT ME IMMEDIATELY. I HAD TO PAUSE IT BECAUSE IT WENT SO HARD. because it is basically what vessel is. oh my

"make it real" he sounds so good singing this fml!!!

"lipstick, chemtrails" onwards is SO VIBEY like all the lyrics as well!! the blood references interest me!!

vessel whispering "diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky" gave me chills. in a gay way? yeah probably

I DO APPRECIATE HOW THE SONG IS 7 MINUTES!! LONG SONGS CHEF'S KISS

Are You Really Okay?:

i had many. many feelings about this one. it's still hard to put it into words right now

i said to my server, "im gonna start violently sobbing actually. bc its SO VERY CLEAR what it. hrgh"

it was a lot. cried, definitely. i bet it hits close to home for a lot of people.

also weird music moment i was like. noticing shdfkd i was like "damn they did this song in C major and I'm still crying" (or at least i think it's C major, it was so odd bc that's one of the brightest key signatures yk)

The Apparition:

gave me twinges of high water in emotion, but it's because i am projecting too heavily onto the first verse sdhfd

the instrumental after the first verse fucks.

the chorus as well!! the lyrics i keep talking about THE LYRICS on this one "let's make trouble in the dream world, hijack heaven with another memory"

i love the instrumental the whole time, again with that underlying melody

DYWTYLM:

THIS SONG MAKES ME SAD GO AWAY HDFSHDF

i read this descriptor on fake out by fall out boy, but i feel like this song is so "grit your teeth and smile"

"can you ever forgive yourself?" comes for my kneecaps.

"i cannot hope to give you what i cannot give myself" wrrrr shut up bro shut up D:

"smile back at me, please" SEE THIS SONG DOESNT GO TOO HARD MUSICALLY BUT THE LYRICS GO SOOOOOOO HARD

Rain:

the first song i listened to off the album! it is. not because it shares a title with a ghost member... i swear...

THE ENTIRE POST-CHORUS. "refracted in light, reflected in sound" really hit me the first time!!

i love how it gets INCREASINGLY HARDER

ben, to his discord server: "darling will you saturate?" 1. CALLBACK TO AQUA REGIA 2. saturate my [redacted] vessel

i listened to rain for an hour on repeat. it slaps so hard.

Take Me Back To Eden:

right off the bat, 8 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS. AND ALL OF THEM ARE SO GOOD.

the first take me back to eden refrain when vessel does that high note. ascending.

i love the chorus so so much. i had so many feelings relating to the chorus. and the harmonies ohhhh my god.

"THE CHORUS KEY CHANGE MAKES ME LIKE SHAKE" "theres so many key changes im freaking out right now im going insane right now" "THE CHORUS IS SUNG 3 TIMES AND EVERY TIME ITS A DIFFERENT KEY IM GONNA LIKE CRY IM GONNA FUCKING CRY"

i had many feelings related to the key changes. the first time i experienced all three choruses i had to pause. hyperventilate for a bit.

"and i don't know what's got its teeth in me but I'm about to bite back in anger" very high water!!!! the mouth of infinity fr

WHEN I REALISED THAT NOT ONLY WAS THERE A LYRICAL CALLBACK TO CHOKEHOLD BUT THE INSTRUMENTAL AS WELL.

and the ending goes so hard i love it when vessel just starts screaming

clearly. my favourite. there's a lot of thoughts abt this.

Euclid:

the lyrics again. all so good. the night terrors. the yearning and reverence. this is my shit

the "call me when you get the chance" etc. initially i was like "this sounds so much like the night does not belong to god AND OH BOY! WAS I IN FOR A SURPRISE

"euclid is fucking insane,,, and they call back to their first ever ep AND their first ever lp and imlike hrgndnksfnrhsn" this was me before the ending right

when i heard "the whites of your eyes" my jaw dropped. i was overcome with emotion.

"THEY CALL BACK TO THE NIGHT DOES NOT BELONG TO GOD AND I ALMOST STARTED CRYING. THEIR FIRST ALBUM!!!!! oh god oh jesus"

every time i listen to it i feel like crying. I'm like gonna cry. it's so good. what a perfect ending.

good lord. what a trip this album was. thank you for reading i still have to recover from this hahahaha

#take me back to eden #sleep token #bento talks #this is my first original post man i had so many feelings i had to SHARE #i love sleep token so much they deserve the world #edit: that was not how you make a cut i had to edit it on my phone HDKDHDK

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shall-we-imagine · 4 years

Text

Together we go. (Werewolf!Caesar Raphael x Reader *AU*)

Lol it's never late to request I'm always late to write tho

Requested: 34. "Please don't do this." + 45. "I can't imagine this world without you." From this prompt list.

Genre: Raw angst 😂💯 happy ending though cuz I’m weak

Strap yourselves in cuz this is dramatic as shit and also I’m lowkey rusty sooooo yeah 😂

(First point of view)

Everytime our eyes meet, my insides twist in guilt. I can barely hold his gaze for longer than a few seconds.

“Can we please get some ice cream first?” Caesar gives me his usual puppy eyes- aka the most effective puppy eyes one could ever encounter. I can almost see his tail wagging behind him in excitement.

I giggle at the cute nature of the scene. “Of course.”

He grins, immediately grabbing my arm and rushing to the ice cream truck. I do my best to keep up with him and not break my face on the asphalt.

It was Caesar’s first time at a theme park, and he was overflowing with happiness to say the least; he genuinely resembled a large puppy.

Though Caesar always insists that the puppy/dog comparisons I make are only because I knew of his identity, I'm pretty sure it's way beyond the fact that he's a werewolf. Caesar just behaves like an oversized puppy, whether he believes it or not.

"Mmhm! It's so good!" Caesar's eyes widened at the sweet flavour of his chocolate ice cream. Part of me was worried he'd collapse and I'd have to rush him to the hospital, but from the looks of it, werewolves can apparently eat chocolate. "How's yours?" He smiled at me. God that smile kills me.

"O-oh, it's nice!" I took the spoon into my mouth, unnecessarily trying to prove my statement.

His stare lingered, but before I could ask him about it, he sheepishly spills out a question. "Can I..um..can I try it?" He pointed to the paper cup in my hand.

Giggling in awe, I immediately scooped up the ice cream into my plastic spoon. "Sure." I moved my hand closer to him, expecting him to take the spoon, but instead, he leaned his head closer, taking the spoon into his mouth directly. My cheeks heat up at the small gesture, and I subconsciously start looking around to make sure we haven't attracted anyone's attention.

"Oh! It's really good too! What is this one?" Caesar's eyes gleam in fascination, as if discovering a whole new world, which in a way he was. He'd already explained how strict the pack is about interacting with humans and their world, hence his isolation from the pack after violating that rule. To be with me. And there I was, refusing to give up my group's approval.

"(Y/N)? Why do you keep zoning out today? Is something wrong?" His eyebrows furrow in concern, further engraving the guilt onto my heart.

"I'm just a little tired; don't worry about it." I do my best to give him a reassuring smile, but I suspect that only made him even more worried. "Come on, let's get in line for the ferris wheel." I pull him towards the giant ride.

Caesar stares upwards, "Woah."

"You're not scared of heights, are you?" I smile.

"I've never been that high before," he points to the top of the wheel, "but it does look a bit scary."

"Don't worry; it'll be fun." I take his hand in mine, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze.

By the time we reach the front of the line, we were both done with our ice cream and were just anticipating the ride.

The blond helps you onto the wobbly cabin and climbs inside after you're seated.

The second the small doors shut behind him, the colourful cabin moves upwards, causing Caesar to lose balance. He screams and drops to the ground, curling into a ball in fear.

I softly place a hand on his shoulder, "Caesar, it's fine. It...does that." I chuckle.

His expression softens. Sure enough, he lets me help him off the floor and onto the seat, where he's finally able to take a look at the view beneath us.

His beautiful green eyes widen in admiration, "It's not scary at all. It's very...pretty...just like you." He turns to smile at me, but I immediately avert my gaze shyly.

He takes my hand in his, "I love being with you; you make me happy."

The sincere look in his eyes drew me in, and before I knew it, my bottom lip starts quivering. "I- yeah, me too."I gulp, gluing my eyes elsewhere. I could no longer hold his gentle gaze.

Silence follows for a few moments.

Softly taking place beneath my chin, fingertips guide my face towards their owner, "(Y/N)? Why won't you look at me?" His concerned gaze almost burns holes in my face.

I let out a nervous laugh and take his hand in mine, "What do you mean? I'm just enjoying the view. Look; you can see the ocean from here!"

Caesar forces a weak smile, "Yeah, it's nice."

________

"(Y/N), are you sure we're not lost? I can't hear any cars ahead of us..." After walking through the woods for a bit, Caesar starts getting suspicious about whether we're actually using a shortcut to the bus station.

Hesitation and guilt take turns abusing my mind and heart. "Y-yes, Caesar. Just keep following me." I try to control my breathing rate and calm down.

The closer I get to the spot, the heavier my feet feel, the harder it is to push myself forward. "I can't do this." I drop to the ground and pull out my pocket knife.

"What do you mea-(Y/N), what the fuck are you doing?!" His statement was cut off by his own terrified yell. He drops to the ground and tries to pull away my weapon.

Having already dug the sharp edge into my forearm, I was disappointed by how difficult it is to actually find the tracking device. "Tracking device, Caesar! They'll find us; I need to take it out!" I kick the blond away, as I continue to search through my own flesh for the tiny device. The pain was unbearable, but it wouldn't compare to losing Caesar.

Blood dripped everywhere, making it even harder to see. "Fuck." I pant.

"It's not working." Tears hinder my vision, "Caesar, get out of here! As quick as you can!" The confusion on his face screamed in my face that it's my fault- all of it. "Please..." my voice cracks.

"No, (Y/N), I'm not going anywhere without you. Who are we running from? What's wrong? You know you can tell me anything!" He snatches the knife away and stuffs it in his pocket, the blood making a mess of his clothes in the process.

I push him away with my uninjured arm, "There's no time; please, just leave." Desperation hung at every word, yet he remained unmoved.

"Get up. We're leaving together." He tries to help me up, but I pull my arm away.

"They'll track us down, Caesar! The device is still in there!" I yell. "Please, I'm begging you; just leave before it's too late." I push him again, but he doesn't budge.

"(Y/N), we either leave together or die together; I'm not going anywhere without you whether you like it or not." The serious expression on his face is one I've never seen on him before; he's determined and stubborn, and I knew it.

I shake my head, "No, Caesar, you don't understand; I-"

"Was supposed to kill me, but you felt guilty; I know." He finished my statement, leaving me in a state of shock and shame.

"How- what? You know?" Realizing his lack of resistance, I fall into more confusion, "Well...why did you follow me here? You didn't know I'd feel guilty; I could've killed you!"

"But you didn't." Smirking, he shrugs.

"Caesar, I'm serious..." I stare at him with pleading eyes.

He sighs, "Well, I figured if the person I love the most wants to kill me then that's it; that's how I go."

"You came with me knowing you'll die?!" I cry.

"Well, I had hope you'd change your mind; I knew the love I'd felt with you wasn't fake. I felt your love...And well, I dunno about you humans, but wolves don't go killing wolves they love." He chuckles. "And if you'd killed me, well, I'd still choose that over escaping. I can't imagine this world without you."

"You're such a dumbass." I laugh lightly, but my smile drops at the sight of of something hitting Caesar’s neck.

And before I realize what's happening, He is hyperventilating as he grasps his neck, eyes terrifyingly wide; if I dIdn't know better, I'd think he was choking himself.

I rip out the tiny needle from his neck in panic, but it doesn't stop him from gasping for air, drool trickling down his chin uncontrollably. His eyes start to roll back, but he seems to be trying to hold onto what's left of his conscious mind, "Caesar! Caesar, stay with me!" Sobbing, I begin to shake him violently, but it takes mere moments before he drops to the ground.

The sound of footsteps slowly approaching hammers realization into my terrified brain, "W-why?"

"Girl, he's not dead yet; he's temporarily paralyzed." Kate rolls her eyes, but a warning follows through gritted teeth, "We're making the killing easier for you, so don't make this any harder for us."

"He's not a monster..." I shake my head, desperately pleading for his life, "He doesn't even belong to a pack; he's harmless!"

"Take out your knife, (Y/N)." She warns while the rest of the hunters watch me expectantly.

I look down at Caesar, whose eyes barely held any life in them. No way is he getting up any time soon, and my left arm has already gone limp. We stood no chance. This is it; this is how we die. And it's all my fault.

More warnings follow, but my eyes spot a tall man hiding nearby; he was clearly watching the conflict unfold.

When our eyes met, he put his index finger to his lips, telling me to keep quiet, which I do. I was gonna die anyway; I have nothing to lose, listening to random forest man.

Smirking at my obedience, he gracefully spreads his hand open in the direction of the hunters.

Within a second, they all drop their weapons to clutch their head in their hands, blocking their ears like they couldn't stand a very loud sound. A loud sound you can't hear.

Eventually they all fall to the ground, hands still covering their ears. That's when the stranger decides to step out of his hiding spot.

He slowly makes his way towards me and Caesar. I don't know if it's the blood I've lost or the intense gaze of the man, but everything begins spinning before going completely black.

________

"Did you hear me?! I said shoot him!" Kate screams.

Confusion consumes my every inch, "W-what?"

"Are you deaf?" She holds up her gun, aiming at my head. "Shoot him."

I slowly turn to look at where she motioned with a slight tilt of her chin. My shaky hands were clutching a gun aimed at a terrified Caesar on the ground. "Caesar?"

"Please, don't do this." Trembling, he shakes his head. "I love you. I would never hurt you; you know that." His teary eyes were hypnotizing; I couldn't look away for a reason I couldn't explain. I just stood still- and stared.

“I...I don’t understand...” I lower the gun I knew I didn’t even have on me before.

“Please, I’m begging you.” Caesar pleads.

I observe my surroundings in utter bewilderment. The number of hunters bacame overwhelmingly threatening; I didn’t know there were that many of them. So many faces I couldn’t recognize.

Before I could plan my next move, the sound of a gun shot rips through the air.

My head snaps towards Caesar. His fear-stricken, watery eyes stare back into mine lifelessly.

My lips quiver, as I scan his body for the wound.

Till I found it where I didn’t expect to.

Hot, thick liquid trickles down my face, blurring my vision in the process. My fingers reach for my forehead, allowing me a chance at comprehending the situation.

I’d been shot.

As if the realization was my cue, I watch everything spin out of focus till I completely lose consciousness.

_________

I gasp, immediately shooting out of bed, almost slamming my head against the stranger’s.

“Jeez, the potion sure is quick.” The man mumbles to himself.

“Potion?” I wipe my forehead, just to see a gooey, yellow substance dripping off my fingers. It was a dream?

“(Y/N)!” I find myself engulfed into a warm, tight embrace.

“Caesar.” I breathe out in relief, giving into the hug.

“Wait! The tracking device-” Before I could fully push away Caesar, the man speaks up.

“Already planted it on a rat; it’s gone forever.” He gives a smile I could only interpret as him being proud of his own intelligence.

“I don’t know how to thank you...How do I return the favor? Ask me for anything!”

“It’s a bit funny for you to think I’d need anything from you.” Seemingly offended, the man rolls his eyes and sips his tea.

“He’s a bit...uh...timid?” Caesar whispers to me, hinting he’d already tried to thank the man while I was out of it.

“I already put a healing spell on your arm; there will be no scarring, but I’d rather you keep the bandages for a few more hours.” He glances down at my bandaged arm.

“Thank you...again.” I nod. “A healing spell though...are you a wizard?” My eyebrows furrow in confusion.

The stranger sighs. “Surely you can’t be that dense.”

“I think that’s a yes.” Caesar looks at me in slight uncertainty.

Another sigh. “Azusa Kuze, wizard from Hinomoto, nice to meet you. Anything else you wanna butt into?” He uses a slightly high pitched, cheery voice to ensure we understood he was mocking us.

“Uh, no, we’re good I think.” Caesar chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his head.

“Good.” He diverts his attention to the huge book on his wooden dining table.

“Um, well, I guess we’ll be going now, right, Caesar?”

“Uh, yes. Thank you again, Mr. Hinomoto Wizard Azusa Kuze.” Caesar bows.

The wizard scowls but shakes his head dismissively “Yeah, um, you’re welcome.”

The second we step outside the small cottage, we both let out breaths we didn’t seem to know we were holding.

“Well, that was a strange day.” I state.

“Yeah.” Caesar nods. “Wanna get some more ice cream?”

I grin, “You know it.”

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