Dodging work today call that being underpaid 😎

hello! you're a security guard, right? how did you get into doing that, and what does it usually entail? does it pay decently? (i'm looking for work rn and am wondering if that's a path worth looking into)

I am, yes. I got into it by seeing that a local place was hiring security officers at significantly more than I made at the time, and going “Well why the hell not” and applying. They called me the next day, I had an interview later that week, and been here for five and a half years now. (Not at the same site, but with the same company. Security officers often can and do move between client sites that the security company is contracted with, and I’ve worked three major sites and several dozen smaller temporary events over the years.)

The pay isn’t super high, but it’s decent, particularly for my area. The work isn’t super difficult, but it can mean being out in all weathers and being able to stand and walk fair distances. (I used to clock 3 or 4 miles a night in walking rounds at an old site.)

A lot of it is working access control, which means issuing ID badges and managing truck and delivery flow into your site. A lot is watching cameras, which can get boring as shit. A lot can just be patrolling and being seen. And sometimes, you’ve gotta deal with people who are angry, argumentative, and violent. Since I’m pretty willing to fight anyone anywhere anytime, I’ve no problems dealing with such situations, but it can be challenging for some folks.

Some sites require security to be certified as first responders. My old site did, though this one does not, but it’s not like they took the knowledge of CPR and AED use out of my head. They’ll provide training for that if needed.

Keep in mind that in an emergency, if everything goes to shit, that’s when everyone is going to look at you to keep your head. We’re trained extensively in emergency procedures and emergency management, but keeping a cool head under pressure is necessary.

The benefits from my company are decent. Can’t speak for other companies. And it is a company that operates worldwide, so if I, say, chose to up and move to Scotland I could request a transfer to a site in Scotland and they’d accommodate that, without the need to fret about having to find a new job once I got there.

I've been so so tired lately...

I realise I'm privileged in many ways, I live with my parents (which is not ideal but I have a roof over my head and my own space), I have my wonderful pets (which are my lifeline rn) and a good relationship and awesome friends but....

I hate my job. So much. I get anxiety attacks in the weekend thinking about going back, I'm underpaid, and my boss is the most ungrateful bastard I've ever had to deal with in my life. Meanwhile I can't really talk openly about how much I hate him to my boyfriend cause like... that's his dad.

My wonderful friends....I love them so much and I'm lucky to have so many of them but I'm so so overwhelmed because on top of everything I feel like I'm always expected to be the one to reach out (even though I know that's not entirely true) and it has been taking a lot out of me to try to socialize so much, keep all those different conversations going despite how busy I am. But I love them and I don't want to lose/drop any of them. The stress is real though... I feel like I forget to get back to a lot of them because of it and I fear they may misunderstand me. I don't want anyone to think it was on purpose and be hurt.

And oh my God my space? I have neglected it so hard these last two months because I was either at work or away and now I just have so many chores to do and I stress so much about them I kinda end up not doing them and just sitting and stressing about it. I go home and look at it and I'm just so so tired I do one tiny thing and then I want to sleep. At this rate idek how long it will take me to beautify it again.

Expenses? So many, dear god... I need to pay for medical stuff for my pets and for my dance class because pole dancing makes me happy man and I also need to buy some equipment for my yoga classes in order to start teaching properly and going from house to house and also TO DO THAT I NEED A LICENSE because especially with covid, fuck public transportation. No one follows the rules. And even if I could take public transportation,the two prospective clients I have aren't exactly close to it? So even then....ugh...

But license and vehicle will also cost money obviously...

Oh also haha I really want to move out because I can't deal with being around my folks like this for many reasons that I don't want to put here...but yeah that's also something that needs to happen hopefully sooner than later...

And here's the other thing: I am nowhere near having enough clientele to quit my current job which as I said I am very dissatisfied with in order to be a full time yoga teacher... And honestly idek if that's something I wanna do full time and long term. Getting that yoga license was a great experience and it helped me in many ways but it cost a lot of money so I basically emptied my bank account and then for my vacation with my boyfriend he paid for like 2/3rds of it because he knew I was in a tight spot and God bless him but...I didn't want him to have to do that you know?

To top all of that off, my grandma hasn't been well recently and for some reason my dad thinks we might even lose her this year. We're going down to her city next weekend and I hate that. I feel so bad for saying this but I hate it. I don't want to go but I also do. I don't want to see her suffering, or the state she's living in because my uncle who lives with her can barely take care of himself and his own issues, let alone her and hers. And we've been trying to get them to move in with my dad in Athens but she refuses to come. I do miss her but it pains me to see all that. I can barely even talk to her on the phone anymore. And that's so so so horrible of me.

(there's much, much more but rn these are my main concerns...)

I love my friends, I love my boyfriend, I love my pets and my family but.... sometimes I feel like dropping it all and vanishing. It's too much, especially lately, and I don't know what to do. To get money, and be there for everyone and be happy. It seems impossible.