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uberff · 6 years

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Chapter 21

Robyn

For the two minutes that Eric’s been here, I’ve been in his arms with tears rolling down my face. When I told him that all of the tests came out positive, he made his way over to my house. After Winter and Jaylen stormed out, I was by myself with no one to express my feelings to. While they were peeling off, E was pulling up. I mustered up a nervous smile and hugged him tight. I always felt safe wrapped in his arms.

“Whatever you wanna do, I’m with you, Rob.” He mumbled against my neck and I nodded as he rocked us from side to side in the middle of my living room. “Don’t give them negative thoughts no clout. Look at me,” I looked up at him and he swiped my tears away with his cold hands.

“If ain’t nobody else here for you, I’ma always show up ‘bout you. You hear me?” I nodded and looked away. He brought my eyes back to his gaze. “I’m serious, Rob.”

“Okay.” I whispered and he kissed my forehead. “You wanna talk to me about this game-plan we gotta set?” He asked and I shook my head. I just wanted to sleep, honestly. This shit has to be a dream.

“Why, baby girl?” He asked, walking me over to the couch.

“Eric, I’m scared. Everything in my life has been temporary. Literally everything and I’m scared that if I give you my all, I’ll be assed out again. This time with a baby, I don’t know what to do with a kid right now.”

“If you give me your all, I’ma match it. Fuck them niggas who realized that you was the truth the minute you walked out they lives. I met you a few months ago and I can’t fathom losing you now. You mean something to a nigga, I admit this shit is happening fast but we got the chance to create something beautiful together. If you not with it, let me know. I’ll slide you the bread and let you handle that.”

“I don’t want you to go. Meeting you was so refreshing but everything is happening fast and I didn’t mean for it to happen, I-“

“Baby, I was there too. We was gone in the moment, we could’ve been more careful but shit happens. My genes are strong and handsome as fuck, you that distraught that we about to have a shawty?” I smiled and leaned on his shoulder.

“No. If it would’ve happened later on in life, I would’ve been bouncing off the walls. It’s just that my business is just now starting up and we haven’t known each other for that long.”

“Miss me with that shit. If I’m interested, I’m an observant nigga. I felt like I’ve been knowing you for my whole life. Know your beautiful ass like the back of my hand.” He turned his hand over and I read over his tattoo. Loyalty.

“I’m an open book. I let everyone know too much.” I admitted and he put our foreheads together. “We gotta change that. Niggas take advantage of vulnerability. Ain’t nobody stepping over my baby mama no more.” He laughed and I smiled, hitting him softly.

“You’re not scared?” I asked and looked off into space. Thinking deep into the future. Is it a boy or a girl? What kind of mother would I be? My life is literally about to change forever.

“Lowkey. I have nieces and shit so I guess they’ve been practice this whole time. We gon’ figure it out together, baby. Don’t worry about nothing. I ain’t gon’ stop ya business grind, you got the whole nine months to keep snatching edges and shit.” He smiled and I mirrored it. “Gimme kiss.”

I held his face and pecked his lips softly. “From this point, I’ma have you and whoever in there.” He rubbed my flat stomach and put me on his lap. “For life, Robyn. Fuck everybody and they opinions on our dynamic.”

“Thank you.”

“We gon’ spend plenty of time getting to know each more. Your picky and perfect ass gon’ drive me crazy but I’ma love every second of catering to you.”

“Really?” I mumbled playing with his chain and overthinking again.

“Yes. I’m loyal to those I got love for.”

“Same but it all went to waste.”

“Charge up. You was loyal to the wrong ones. A real nigga here now.” He massaged my ass and a smile crept on my face when I saw his.

”Damn, you need me to fye you up? You sound stressed.” Qua asked as he sat up from my bed. I shook my head no, as he rose an eyebrow. He knew I’d never turn down a blunt from him.

“I can’t smoke.” I laughed, before I stopped once I realized that I had to tell him what was up with him. I didn’t know how he was going to react. I just prayed that it wasn’t like Winter’s reaction. Girl almost made me fight her ass. She was being hella judgemental, so I ain’t talked to her in weeks and I don’t plan on it.

“Why not?” He put his blunt back in his pocket. I sighed, scratching my head thinking of how this was gonna come out.

“I’m uh... I’m pregnant.” I said as I looked up at his face. He took his glasses off, giving me a look.

“Please don’t do that Qua, please don’t. You’re the only person I know that’s hella understanding, you never judge.” I begged as he sighed. When I say Qua never judged, he didn’t. He’d tell me whenever I fucked up or when I was in the wrong, but he’d never judge me. I could go out and get a train ran on me, and he wouldn’t judge me at all. He’d just be like, “aye, that’s yo business.”

“I ain’t judging you, a nigga just shocked. I gotta keep it a 100 witcha, though.” He shrugged, patting the spot next to him for me to sit on.

“Ain’t no point in trying to make you feel like shit, cause it’s already done but I’m disappointed, ma. You know I always told you to stay strapped.” He joked, but was still serious at the same time. I laughed because he always told me to keep a condom on me because now wasn’t the time for kids.

“But nah foreal, I ain’t even met dude yet. What if he a lame? How you know he gone be a good father? You finally got to open ya store, and I’m telling you now.. a baby hard work. You had a whole lotta’ goals to pursue before having a baby.”

“I know that.” He grabbed my hand, placing it inside of his.

“Just be careful, and start making smarter decisions. Congrats ona’ baby. How far along you is?”

“I haven’t went to the doctor yet, so I have no idea. Should be only a few weeks.”

“Whenever you go, let me know. You ain’t been hitting my line lately.”

“I know, I’m so sorry. I’ve been super busy.”

“You good, I understand. Hella people been hitting you up for they Valentines fits. People been hitting me up to try to get in contact with you.” I smiled.

“I love you so much, Qua. You’re always here for me. From the day I met you, you were so caring and concerned.” I hugged him as he laughed, wrapping his arms around me. He really had a big heart.

“Gotta be. You a sweet person and ain’t ever hurt a fly. Shit, you even taught a nigga a lot.I luh’ you too.” He squeezed me, before tickling me.

The only thing that could be heard were my loud giggles as I squirmed around, trying to get out of his hold. “Qua! Stop, oh my god!” I laughed, uncontrollably as he continued to torture me.

He finally stopped and let me catch my breath. “I’m bout to head out tho, shoot start at 11 AM tomorra’.” He stood up, embracing me into a big hug. He was so long that he had to bend down.

“Bye, be safe! Tell the boys I said hi.” I said as I watched him walk out to the car that his driver was picking him up in.

Next Day

“You just tryna see my dick, that’s all.” Qua said as I bent down to measure his waist. I rolled my eyes, playfully punching his skinny ass.

I was designing outfits for all three of them for one of their upcoming video shoots, and I was actually excited for it. I barely got to see Qua, so working with him would be dope. Fun as well, because they were always joking around. I knew exactly what I had in store for them.

“All done.” I smiled as I stood up. His collar on his shirt was fucked up, so I started to fix it up for him.

“You always getting a nigga right.” He laughed, looking down at me through his Gucci shades.

“Good, cause yo ass was lookin’ like Dracula wit’ dat’ damn colla’ up like dat’.” Offset said making everyone laugh except Qua. He was forever talking about somebody.

“So what time do I need to come tomorrow?” I asked as I grabbed my essentials. Qua stroked his goatee, thinking to himself before he spoke.

“Bout 9.”

“AM?” I questioned.

“Fasho.”

“Y’all better be providing breakfast.” I planned on sleeping in tomorrow, because I’ve been working back to back. On top of that, I had a doctor’s appointment after this.

“Yea, this sausage.” Set said, making Qua smack him upside the head. I ain’t even gone lie, I had to laugh at that one cause I wasn’t expecting that.

“You got a way home?” Qua asked as I shook my head no. I know I had to get a car, ASAP. I didn’t mind taking Lyfts here and there, but having my own car would be nice. Plus, I hated asking for things.

“No, I was just gonna call a Lyft.” I said as he gave me a look before taking my bags out of my hand, walking outside to his car. After putting my bags in his backseat, he opened the door for me an

“I’ll holla atcha’, Batman.”

“Bye, Upset.”

“Be smoo’ Robyn!” Take yelled out and I blew a kiss to him afterwards. He was so sweet, and always stayed to himself. It was cute.

Once everyone else left, I realized that Qua and I were still sitting in the driveway. I look over and him, and he looked deep in thought so I decided to not interrupt him.

“I gotta tell you some shit..” he spoke, taking my attention away from the Popeyes a few feet away that smelled really good.

“Tell me then.” I rose an eyebrow, as he looked nervous as hell. He was never nervous.

“I know we tried this shit befo- nah fuck it. Forget I brought it up.”

“Qua! You’re so aggy for that!”

“I’m sorry mama, I should’ve just kept it to myself. I’m throwed as fuck, and I ain’t tryna say some shit that i ain’t gone remember.”

By now, I already knew what he was going to say and I didn’t wanna be in that awkward position, so I just forgot about it like he asked me to. Well, it’s a little too late for that, because the rest of the car ride.. we were quiet and there’s never a dull moment with us.

Once I got back in my apartment, I noticed Eric sound asleep on the couch. I’m guessing my presence had woke him up, because he kept moving. “Hey, where you been at?”

“Oh, I was styling a few guys for their video shoot today.”

“Cool, I had just stopped by to make you some dinner but you took long as fuck, so I fell asleep. My bad.”

“Oh no, you’re fine. I’ll just make something quick.” I disappeared into the kitchen, looking inside of the fridge so that I could make a sandwich. As soon as I got my ingredients out, it took me out 10 minutes to perfect the sandwich. Once I was done, I put everything back and started to walk back into the living room to sit on the couch with E.

Biting into my sandwich, I moaned at the taste. This was the best meal I’ve eaten all day, to be honest.

“How was ya day?” He asked, bringing my feet on top of his lap to massage them.

“It was pretty smooth. I woke up super early, but they had breakfast which was great. Everyone was pretty easy to work with, so time went by kinda fast. What about you, babe?” He started to talk, but the way that sandwich just hit the spot and how good he was caressing my feet, bitch I was out like a light.

Jasmine

I was happy to be out that nerve wracking ass center, but I was hella irritated to be back at my bullshit ass job. I hated it here, but the money wasn’t gone make itself and I had bills to pay.

My dad spoils the fuck outta me, and he doesn’t even want me working, but that’s bogus to me. I ain’t bout to live off of his hard earned money, I can’t. I wanna be like him one day, and I know I have to start from the bottom to get to the top.

I know exactly what I wanted to do with my life, but I just didn’t know where to start. I can’t just quit my job, up and leave and go follow my dreams. Well, I can but shit ain’t as easy as 123, feel me?

I snapped outta my thoughts once someone came to my register. Looking up, it was the same guy that I had met from the center. Jaylen.

We had been talking for a couple of days, and he was cool as hell. Fine as hell too, but my daddy warned me about his type. I know he ain’t shit.

I started to wonder why he was even in such a fucked up place like the center. He seemed like a put together dude, but then again you can’t judge a book by its cover.

I️ was at the center for my anger/mental issues. It had nothing to do with drugs. If anything, them shits helped.

My dad insisted that I️ get help, and I️ did. Not only because he told me to, but because I️ wanted to. I️ was starting to become a whole different person, and I️ wasn’t feelin’ it. I’d yell, curse, everything in the book at people for the littlest reasons. I️ couldn’t go out like that anymore. Hell, I️ was starting not to like my own damn self.

Ever since I️ came to the center, I️ learned that the anger I️ had built up was from growing up. Growing up, I️ never really had support from my mother and everyone I️ thought that I️ could trust, turned on me. Everyone that said they’d always be there for me left. Eventually, a bitch like me just said fuck it and stopped caring about sappy ass shit like that and turned cold hearted. People hated it.

I️ hated it, but it was my only choice. I️ ain’t ask to be that way, but I️ was tired of people fucking me over. I️ got in too deep of that mindset, that I️ didn’t even recognize myself.

I️t all started with my mom. I️ hated that bitch. As I️ started getting old enough to notice things, I️ realized that she’d cheat on my father multiple times while he was out working his ass off day to night to provide shelter for us.

She be gone for weeks and come home as if nothing happened, and after a while.. my dad never said anything because he loved her too much.

I’ve had plenty of plays, games, pageants, you name it. Every single one, I waited and waited for her to show up like she said she would, and she never did. She always stood me up. Eventually, she just stopped coming around and nobody knows where she is, nor do I care. She’on care about me or my daddy, so why should I care about what she got going on?

Shit I even had friends that I’ve shared my deepest and darkest secrets with, stop talking to me over a nigga.

I watched the love of my life.. end his life in front of me while I screamed and begged him not to. I tried to help him every chance I got to, but he always shut me out and told me he was okay. I knew he wasn’t and that’s why I never let it go. He was at a really low point in his life, and outta no where.. I wake up from my nap because he’s making a lot of noise because he’s drunk. Once I gained my vision, I noticed that he had a gun on him. Knowing that he was depressed, I tried to take it from him immediately. He’s screaming at me to give it back, while I’m trying to calm him down. I’m crying, telling him that it’s not worth it and that I truly care about him and love him dearly. Shit, he’s one of the best things that’s happened to me.

He watched me get on my knees and beg him not to do it... And he did it. Right in front of me.

Til this day, it still fucks with me and I feel like that plays another big part towards my built up emotions. The center has actually helped me in a way, and I didn’t think it would. I was glad that I checked myself in. I’m doing way better than what I was, trust me.

“Damn, what you over there thinkin’ bout?” Jaylen’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. I forgot he was even here.

“I’m sorry, I was thinking way too deep. What brings you here? I know you ain’t come to just buy no candy.”

“I was on the block and I wanted to stop by and see ya pretty ass face.”

“You ain’t smooth.” I smirked, bagging his candy. He seen his total on the screen and slid his card to pay.

“I got you over there blushing though.” I bit my lip, and tried to hide my face behind the screen as he laughed. I wasn’t blushing, I just liked to smile.

“Nah, not even.” He waved me off, taking the receipt out of my hand.

“You should let me chill wit you when you get off.” He suggested and I thought about it for a second. That ain’t sound too bad, plus I was off tomorrow.

“How you know I ain’t got something else to do?”

“You probably do, but all I know is.. ima be at ya crib tonight at 10 so don’t try to make no other plans.” He winked at me before walking off. I smiled shaking my head, not even realizing how hard I was blushing.

Ugh, I hated this feeling.

A couple of hours went by, and I was finally off of work, which made me happy because I ready to get the hell away from these people.

I ended up at my dad’s house, because I hadn’t seen him in 2 days and that was just too long for me. My daddy was literally my best friend.

He was on the couch with a Cigar hanging outta his mouth, making me laugh. “I hope yo ass brought some food cause you be quick as hell to eat up all of mines.”

“You didn’t cook? That’s the only reason I came over, daddy.”

“Hell no, today my relax day.” I rolled my eyes, because he always said that. Everyday was his relax day, let him tell it.

“I got the flowers and card that you sent today. Thanks, you almost made me cry in front of those people.” My dad made it a habit of sending me flowers on a daily basis, and I loved it. It’s the simplest things that makes my day.

“I try, I try.”

“Somebody gone appreciate you one day, old man.”

“Shit, about that-“ he started to talk until a woman’s voice cut him off.

“Victor, you coming back to bed?” I looked towards the direction of her voice and seen a really beautiful woman in a red robe, peeking around the corner. I gasped.

“Daddy!” I said loudly, covering my mouth. I’m over here 24/7, never have I heard or seen this woman.

He chuckled nervously and told her to come out to the living room. I did not wanna meet anybody coming out of his room in a robe.

My dad excused himself, making me sigh as my big brother came in, making shit worse.

“Eyyy, wassup baby sis.” I rolled my eyes and ignored his presence, moving his arm from around me.

“Why you gotta all Hollywood errytime a nigga come around? You’n never show me no love.” He was hella irritating. I barely saw him because of this dumbass shit he be doing, and he tries to send me all types of designer to make up for it but I could care less about that.

Izzy was one of the biggest drug lords out here in NY. He started off just selling when he was in high school, but I’m guessing the man that ran the whole business got sick, and Izzy was the only one that everybody respected besides ole dude, so he passed it down to him.

He was smart as hell, and had way more full ride scholarships to college than I did, but he let the drug life get the best of him. He dropped out when he only had half a semester left to graduate.

Ever since then, he was always getting into trouble. I wasn’t trying to be in none of his drama, so I just told him to stop talking to me in general. He and my dad claim that I’m wrong for it, but I don’t see how. He ain’t about to get me shot up. I love him to death, but nah.

“Cause you’re stupid, Iz.”

“Ion’ wanna talk about that shit while I’m at home, Jas. When you gone get over it? I been doin’ this shit since I was 16, ya attitude getting mad old now.” He sat down next to me on the couch.

I looked over at him fixing the collar on his Gucci shirt so that all 5 of his chains could show. One thing I could say about him was that he always cleaned up nice. You’d never catch him looking bummy.

“Because I care about you, and it pisses me off that you wanna ruin your life over something so dumb. You’re better than this.”

“Am I dead?”

“No, but if you don’t stop this shit, death or jail is right around the corner. You just got out for doing a 3 year sentence a couple of weeks ago, and what do you do? Go back to doing the same dumb shit.”

“So you think you Oprah or sumn’?” I rose an eyebrow at his sudden attitude.

“Think about your fam instead of yourself sometimes. Daddy lost his best friend to the same shit you doing right now. He tried telling him over and over that it wasn’t worth it, and right when he finally listened.. he got killed.”

“Aye sis, times be hard and I work too hard to be making minimum wage. I refuse to slave for a muhfucka’ for some little ass pay.”

“There are so many options out here, and you and I both know that you got the money to do whatever you want. You got enough money to where you don’t even have to work for the rest of your life! Go do something you love!”

“Like what, since you know everything.”

“Are you serious, Iz? Everybody knows music is your thing. It always has been. Invest in yourself! Produce!” He brushed over his waves, thinking about what I was telling him. I hope it wasn’t going one ear out of the other.

“Tell you what? Ima think real hard about that one and get back to ya on it.” I nodded with a smile, embracing him in a hug.

Well, we were getting some where. Usually he’d just shut that down on the spot and tell me no straight up, and he never told a lie.

“Let me spend a night at ya crib.”

“I’m having company tonight.”

“Who? Bet not be one of them pussy ass niggas you be fuckin’ wit.” Literally every dude stopped talking to me once they found out Izzy was my brother, and I don’t know why. He ain’t nobody to be scared of, these niggas just pussy. But then again, I haven’t seen the other side of him and I don’t want to. The Izzy I knew was sweet as hell, smart, and putting a smile on someone’s face. Hell, he was scared of clowns. If he saw one, he’d scream like a girl.

“Boy I don’t say nun’ bout all these nasty girls you be messing with.”

“I’m grown.”

“Oh so I’m not?”

“Nah, you gone always be baby sis.” I rolled my eyes and stood up to grab my purse. He swore I was his daughter.

“I’m out.” I started to walk towards the door. I would tell my daddy bye, but knowing him, he was probably up there doing something with that woman of his.

“Hold up rude ass, let me walk you out.”

Jaylen

I️ drove to Jasmine’s house, with the top off as I danced around to Drake’s Passionfruit that was blaring throughout my car. To say that I️ was in a good ass mood was an understatement. I️ smoked before I️ left the house, and a nigga was feeling good.

I️ know being around Jas was gone make my high even better. It took her some time to even get a bit comfortable with me.

After meeting her at the center, I ain’t see her for a couple of days. I got released, went to the store and seen her there. We ate together at some bomb ass spot, and exchanged numbers instantly. I talk to lil mama almost everyday and she cool as fuck. She the only person I know that can relate to me on some deep shit.

Being around her took my mind off of Robyn, completely and I was loving that shit. I️ wasn’t trying to start a relationship or no shit, and she wasn’t either. We were chillin’.

I️ pulled her into the driveway of her home, impressed because her shit was better than my condo. I needed to get on her level.

She was hella spoiled by her daddy, and I️ knew he bought her this nice ass house. I️ respect that she doesn’t just live off of her dad though. She be working even though she doesn’t have to.

Grabbing the bottle of Henny that she asked me to bring, I️ locked the doors to my car. Once I️ made it to her doorstep, I️ rang the doorbell as I️ waited patiently for her beautiful ass to answer the door.

“I’m comingggggg!” I️ heard her sing, making me chuckle. Shit, I’d love to hear her scream those words more often.

I️ pushed my dirty thoughts away, because I️ knew she wasn’t giving me any play no time soon.

The door swung open, and she stood in front of me with a big smile on her face. Without thinking twice, I️ embraced her into a big ass hug, squeezing the fuck outta her. She smelled like strawberries and shit.

“Hey.” She said as she pulled away, shutting and locking her door.

“Wassup? What you do all day?”

“Hung out with my dad.” She sat down on the couch, taking the bottle of Hennessy out my hand. I️ chuckled at how ready she was.

“Damn you ain’t playing no games, huh?”

“I️ gotta work for the rest of the week after tomorrow, I️ need this.”

Jas worked in retail, and she hated it. She had went to college for four years, but she doesn’t know what to do right now so she’s just working. She claims she doesn’t have any talents, but I know exactly what that shit is.

“Drink up, mama. I️ need that shit, too.” She popped the bottle open, and took that shit to the head in no time. I️ sat up, widening my mouth as she downed that shit with no problem.

“Damn, slow down.” I️ laughed, taking the bottle away from her mouth. She had drunken half of it already.

She wiped her mouth, smiling as she turned the music from her TV up. Getting this shit over with, I️ chugged the other half of the Henny down just as she did. When I️ was finished, I️ sat the bottle down on the table, rubbing my stomach because I️ was hungry as fuck.

I ain’t been drinking like I used to so I couldn’t just down that shit like it was water no more.

“What you got to eat?”

“Our favorite.”

“My fat ass got a lot of favorites.” I sat back in against her couch, with low eyes, laughing. She chuckled right along with me.

“Wings, boy.”

“Oh aight, that’s cool. Where they at?” I licked my lips, sitting up so that she could show me where the fuck they was at.

She stood up, holding her hand out for me to grab. I grabbed it, looking at her booty the whole time she led the way to the kitchen. She wore this little ass skin tight dress on purpose. If I ain’t respect her, I would’ve been fucked.

Pushing that thought away, we both walked into her kitchen.

I looked on the island and saw a box of Wings sitting there with my name on it. With no hesitation, I said my grace and started to dig in. She started to walk off but I pulled her back.

“Where you going?” I said with a mouth full of chicken. These wings were bussin’ and cussin’ right now.

“To my room. You fine but ion’ wanna watch you eat playa.” I laughed.

“How I’m post to know where ya room at?” I questioned, looking around. She acting like her house ain’t have a thousand rooms in this bitch.

“Upstairs, first door. You can’t miss it. I’ll leave it open for you.” I nodded and left her skip off to her room.

As I started back eating, I pulled my phone out because I was lonely as fuck down here. Watching a couple of Basketball highlights for a good 20 minutes, I was finally finished with my food and I was still hungry.

Cleaning up my mess, I put my phone in my pocket and went turned off the lights in the kitchen. Walking around the corner, there her stairs were so I walked up them. Her door was cracked open, but I decided to be a creep because I heard her talking to herself.

I realized that she was making those little voices like she always did. She need to be put in somebody’s movie for that shit. She swore she wasn’t talented. Voice acting was for her, foreal.

“You up in here acting like you Shrek and shit, but you ain’t got no talent?” I questioned as she jumped and turned around.

“You scared me.” She put her hand on her heart. I took her hand, interlocking both of them with mines, bringing both of us down on top of her bed.

I know she felt how hard my dick was because I felt how wet she was. I licked my lips, looking her in her eyes. I knew she wanted it as bad as I did, but she wasn’t gone give it up yet. I wasn’t gone pressure her either, so I just laughed and stopped playing with her ass.

“Jay you got me wetter than an ocean right now.” She huffed, going to the bathroom that was in her room.

“Come drown me then.” I winked at her she smirked, which turned into us busting up into a fit of laughter.

“Real shit Jasmine.. you need to get into voice acting.” I said as our laughter died down. I swear she was gone thank me once she realized it’s what she should’ve been doing a long time ago.

“Jay, you gone ruin my b-“

“Nah Jas, foreal. You stay complaining bout ya job. Go do something you love.” She sat down next to me and sighed.

“I just... I don’t know where to start Jaylen.”

“Start taking classes whenever you don’t have to work and go from there, ma. I promise the shit gone be worth it. Believe in yourself and God.” I suggested. She looked over at me, taking in what I had just said.

“Yo, ain’t nobody ever believed in me the way that you do.” She said

“Cause you got a gift, Jas. Ain’t nobody believe in me either, now I got muhfuckas paying millions for my shit.”

Growing up, nobody cared that I could draw. They’d always tell me that it wouldn’t get me any where and to stick with hooping. Except my mom and pops, but that’s about it. I obviously ain’t listen to they ass though.

“That’s great, you really just inspired me. I’m gonna do some research tomorrow morning. Thank you.”

“No problem.” I spoke, as my eyes scanned around the pictures in her room. I stopped atone family picture when I seen a picture of a fine ass woman.

“She bad.”

“My crackhead ass mom? Eh.”

“Crackhead? Yikes, why you gotta put her business out there.” I was laughing because she said it so nonchalantly.

“I hate that bitch.” She rolled her eyes, quickly taking the family picture down. Well then...

“Who that jawn? Since we being nosey?” She questioned, pointing towards towards the gold locket I had on my neck of me and Rob. She gave it to me months ago, and honestly.. I got so used to never taking it off, that I forgot I still had it. I twirled it around with my fingers, before taking it off and tossing it out of her window that was open. No doubt Robyn and I was done. Our last convo gave me the confirmation.

*Flashback*

There were a million emotions running through my body right now, that I️ couldn’t even describe what I️ was feeling. Shit was like Deja vu all over again.

She sighed heavily, putting her head in her hands. “Can we talk?” She didn’t say anything but that wasn’t gone stop me. She was gone hear whatever I had to say.

“Why?” Was all I️ asked as she looked up at me with no words.

“I️ didn’t mean for this to happen, Jaylen.” I️ tried my absolute best not to spazz or strangle her. I️ was beyond pissed, my nigga. That fucking rehab shit paid off, because I️ would’ve been got disrespectful.

“Why was you fucking that nigga, anyways? Now you just an easy piece of pussy, huh?” I️ sat down on the edge of her tub. Robyn was irresponsible and clueless as shit, but getting pregnant by a nigga she only knew for a short period of time wasn’t her. I hope she don’t think I don’t know about her getting pregnant by King Kong either.

Just thinking about her letting another nigga get up in what’s mines broke my heart. I just can’t believe she let him get her pregnant.

“Excuse me? And the same exact reason you went and fucked kayla.” I️ sighed, rolling my eyes because she was forever bringing up old shit. Here I️ am trying to change. She the type of person to bring up some shit that happened when you a kid.

“I’m over that shit, dude ion even talk to her ass no more. She engaged, wit a baby and ion’ want them problems. You always so stuck on me fucking up that you don’t even know how to admit when you wrong, too.”

“I’m wrong for trying to move on?” She scrunched up her face.

“Nah you fucking wrong because you seen me trying to turn my life around for you yet you still go and fuck this nigga. Raw at that. You foul bro. Yea, I did my dirt and I know I was wrong for fucking Kayla, but she’s outta my life completely now. I cut her off for you. I went to rehab for you. I quit smoking and drinking for you. Did all this shit for you, and you wanna sit up here and act like shit all sweet? I’m fucking hurt, Robyn. That was supposed be my baby that you having.”

She remained quiet, with her head in her hands because she knew I was right.

“Jaylen, from day one when I met you, you were fucking rude and a jerk. I thought that maybe you’d change but you didn’t. That attitude that you had is the attitude that pushed me away. Don’t sit up here and act like you weren’t the one that kissed another woman, either. That’s the whole reason we’re not together.”

By now, I was fed up by her bringing up old shit.

“No the reason why we ain’t together right now is because you don’t know how to fucking move past shit and you insecure as fuck. I’m damn near begging you, and ya ass won’t even consider hearing me out. Fuck you Robyn.”

*Flashback Over*

“Just an old bih I used to deal with. Nobody important.” I smiled, as she shook her head followed by laughter.

As she started doing lord knows what, my mind went off into a place that I didn’t want it to be in. That’s because a nigga only smoked one baby ass blunt and had half the bottle of Henny. If not, shit my mind would be on fucking Mars.

Trying to snap outta my thoughts, I put my focus on Jas’s dancing in the mirror. I was admiring that shit until I heard what she was dancing to.

“Think I got him covered for the weekend..” she grinded against her chair.

“Stop singing that thot ass song.” I mugged her as she continued to sing it, slightly making me mad.

Once she seen my face, she cut the music off, smiling. “Aww Jay, I’m sorry.” She apologized, straddling my lap. I shook my head no, ignoring her apology.

“Come on, I said sorry.” She poked her bottom lip out. Looking up at her, our eyes met with each other’s and locked. Before anything else could be said, her lips crashed into mines. My hands found their way to her ass.

She was gone give me blue balls, we been kissing all night and she was killing me with this teasing shit.

Jas was literally passed out on her bed, so I took that as my queue to leave. It was bout 3 in the morning and I had to be up by 7. I’ll make sure to text her in the morning.

Getting my shit, I made my way outside to my car so that I could go home. Since it wasn’t traffic at all, I got home within 15 minutes.

As soon as I got in, I spotted my dad sitting on the couch watching Power. “Nigga these bootycall hours, where you been?” He questioned as he paused the TV. How this nigga gone question me in my own crib?

“Nah not even pops, I was chillin’ wit a friend. Is Jayla in my bed?”

“Yea why?”

“Ima sleep in the guest room cause I’m high as fuck.”

“Nigga when ain’t you?” I chuckled, waving him off as I started to make my way towards the guests room. Pops ain’t like the fact that I smoked, but he was just gone have to deal with it. I used to smoke bout 3 or 4 blunts everyday before I went and got help. Now I only smoke 1 like three times a week. I don’t drink anymore. I only did it earlier, because it’s a new fucking year. That’s progress.

Kicking my slides off, I stripped out of my sweats and t-shirt before plopping down in the bed. Swear I drifted off to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

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summerrrluvvv · 3 years

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Chapter 10:

3 days later: Day 12 in Miami

Tye:

It had been 3 days since I talked to Samar. He had been texting me, asking to see me and then cussing me out. I did need to go by his place today to get my tickets for us to get in VIP for The City Girls foam party, Santana, Saweetie, Mulatto, Trina and Flo Milli and like some other people were all going to be there. We only had 4 days left in Miami before we had to go back to our regular lives in Atlanta, and 3 days before Lit and Wild. I was trying to go big. “What do we wear to a foam party?” Ariana asked. I sighed annoyed cause regardless of what we told her to wear she was going to wear whatever the fuck she wanted anyways. “Ari, you wear a swimsuit” I said to her. She nodded and ran back to her room. I was flat ironing my hair dancing to Brent Faiyaz “Trust” playing through the house speakers. I had an aqua blue one-piece swimsuit, and some purple and aqua blue, and pink platform sandals. Melody came into my room and laid on my bed. “I’m almost finish, I just got to put on my lip gloss and then we out, is Zion and Ari ready?” I asked knowing they take the longest to get ready. She shrugged “I didn’t check I just came in here because I was ready”. Zion then came in my room heading over to the mirror wear I was at to look at herself. “Damn bitch you ain’t check before you left your room?” I said. She playfully pushed me. “I did but I wanted to look at myself again” She said. Ariana then came in the room. I turned off my flat iron. “Alright yall we got to go before parking get crazy” I said to them.

We got in the car and I headed over to get the VIP bands for us at Samar’s house. Mel, Zion and Ari waited in the car while I went to go knock on his door. I knew he was here because his Lambo he rented was in the driveway. The door flung open, and he looked me up down slowly and smirked at me, I rolled my eyes try to pretend like he was looking good, I knew he would be at the foam party too cause he was the DJ for the intercessions. “What?” I snapped, he laughed a little, “I ain’t seen you in 3 days and you come to my door with this little attitude, like you don’t miss me” He said. I was pressed for time and he was making me mad, I mean he was not making me mad, but I wanted him to think that I was mad. “Samar you going to give me the VIP bands or not?” I asked. He nodded “Come on in” He said. I came and closed the door. He went upstairs, I then seen this bitch Diamond transcend downstairs. “Tye, Tye” She sang annoying me cause only close friends and family call me that. I forced a smile. “Hey girl” I said. She had a black 2-piece swimsuit set with some Square black heels. “Ooh Tye I love your fit; you always be dressing girl” She smiled excitedly. It is hard to hate a bitch that’s stans you, so much. “I like your swimsuit” I said. She smiled so fucking brightly. “Well I had to look good, I was going to get red because you know Sami loves red” She said, I rolled my eyes when she was not looking. “Sami! Baby come on” She said. Samar came downstairs counting the wrist bands. He looked up between Diamond and me. “Here you go” He said handing the bands to me. I put them into my mini backpack and zipped my bag. “Sami tell you the good news yet?” Diamond said before I started heading out. I nervously shook my head. “Samar and I are back together; he’s going to move with me to L.A. after Lit and Wild” She said. I forced a smile, “Wow really? I’m so glad to know that after you cheated with Brent and the abortion that yall managed to work everything out, see Samar and you thought you wouldn’t be ever to what did you tell me, oh yeah forgive this hoe ass bitch, but look at you. I love to see that your happy bud, finally he’s been really missing you” I said smiling big as hell. Diamond face had dropped, and she looked at Samar who was mugging the fuck out me. “Really Tye?” He said angry. I shrugged “Did I say something wrong?” I asked before I turned away to leave. “Yo Tye” Samar called out at me. I just closed his door and went to my car. He came running out and got in my face “Tye, the fuck is wrong with you kid? You really had to say that? You cannot be happy for me. I got yo ass the VIP bands and shit and you come to my spot tripping” He snapped. I smushed him out my face. “Boy, get the fuck out my face. No, I’m not happy for you and yo bitch fuck you and her”. I said to him. “Remember after everything we supposed to be best friends no matter what Tye” He said looking at me, then looking at the girls who was just watching everything. I shrugged my shoulders “I will never support you hurting me to be with that bitch, you didn’t think about our friendship when you went and got back with Diamond after I told you I was in love with you, so as of now fuck you Samar” I started the car and he backed up out of his drive way and then drove off. “You good?” Mel asked. I had to remember my makeup was beat before I started bawling. “Let me drive” Mel told me. I pulled over into a shopping plaza, she got out as I climbed into the passenger seat. “If you want to cry Tye just do it” She said waiting to pull off. “I’m good Mel” I snapped. She put her hands up. “Sorry just checking” I rolled my eyes. I went in my purse to light my blunt, I had pre- rolled. I was going to get fucked up at this party fasho. Melody started driving and I was just looking out the window, irritated because Samar really expected me to be happy for him? Hell, the fuck no. I felt like he chose her over me, and that fucked me up. We pulled into the party that was at a huge ass Arena. “Passes?” Security asked, as we got to the VIP parking. We had to show our wrist bands to get free parking.”Yall clear” Security said. We pulled in and parked. Ariana grabbed the Tequila out the back and we started pouring up. “Ayyye it’s about to be Lit!” Zion sang as she twerked in her bikini. “Aight ladies here yall go! This band gets us backstage free drinks and food and we get our own room, it’s like a section with our own foam machine” I said to them repeating what Samar had told me. “Oooh classy” Ari said. Mel and I got out the car, I reached in the back to give everybody shot cups so we can be semi lit when we get in there. I lit up my blunt again after I took my shot and passed the blunt to Ariana. “Ooh shit none of us ate like that today” Ari said nervous. “I want to be able to enjoy myself and not be fucked up fucked up” Zion said. I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s a City Girl party, we need to be lit as hell” We took at least four shots. “Shit nasty as fuck” Melody said downing her water. “Aight lets bounce” Zion said. Melody locked the car door and we headed to the VIP line. The VIP line was super-fast, they had guide show us to our section. We got on the elevator and went to the third floor. Samar got us Diamond Elite VIP. We got off the elevator and the guide brought us to our own Sky Box. It was all glass and you needed to scan your band to get in. She put in a code and foam started coming out of these machines. We had our own bar, and a refrigerator, and our room was glow in the dark. We had an open balcony so we can see the stage like right there. “Okay ladies so your bands can also get you backstage and chill with the celebs and all access to liquor and free food. “Wrist on glitter, waist on thinner. Ima show you how to bag a eight figure nigga” Saweetie was on stage performing “Tap In”. Even though I was mad at him he really did hook us the fuck up. “If you ladies need anything, my name is Dawn, just press number 9 and I will be able to serve you” Dawn said before leaving. “Ayye Tap Tap Tap in” Ariana rapped. “I don’t know about yall but I’m heading down to that bar to get unlimited drinks” I told them. “Girl me too the fuck” Mel said. We all left our room to head to the bar downstairs to get drinks and bring them back up, I grabbed the tray they left in the room so I can bring back more than one. It was packed downstairs, and the regular bars were long as fuck.

The VIP section bars were in a lounge like area, it was different food places and everything you could see all the VIP sections from where we were, it was foam pouring out everywhere. It was like a big ass fucking bubble bath, the whole arena was similar to a Hotel and a club with a big stage being in the lobby, and everyone around the stage and then the surrounding areas at the top and bottom were different levels of VIP. The bars already had shots prepared and bottle with room numbers on them. “Can't stop won't stop get guap, Ten white toes in them Tory flip flops. Manicures and pedicures I'm always tip top. When they say I'm not hot all these lies need to stop, 'Cause I'm icy, wifey haters wanna fight me, Never been the one get RIP up on a white tee, Keep my hands clean got some hitta's moving shiesty” Saweetie was performing “ICY” now on stage. We were dancing in line waiting to get our drinks and food. “Hey Tye, can we talk?” I heard from the side of me. I rolled my eyes when I seen it was Diamond. What the fuck did the hoe want? “I’m in line right now” I told her. She nodded, “Well can I come up to your section and we maybe chat, I just want to make sure we are cool” She said loudly over the music. “Girl we are at a party we can do that later” I told her. She nodded still just standing there. “Can I come up and get lit with yall” She said smiling at me. What the hell was wrong with this girl? “Um, if you want” I said. She nodded and just stood there. “Hey yall probably don’t remember me. I seen yall before. I am also the DJ for Mulatto” Diamond said. Melody smiled awkwardly. “No, I don’t and that’s nice” She said still dancing. “Yeah I think maybe at a Christmas party but still not familiar” Ariana said. Zion nodded in agreement. Diamond just awkwardly stood there “Well Samar wanted to see you in his booth” She said. I nodded. “Aight, can yall get me some Henny and get a bottle too. I’ll be back” I told the girls. I followed Diamond through the VIP lounge then through the crowd near the stage and then backstage. I showed security my band. Samar was chilling with London on the track, DJ Peanut, and some other niggas. London on the track looked at us as Samar was talking and smiled at Diamond. “Aye what up Di, you are performing tonight?” He asked hugging her. She smiled and nodded. “Yeah I’m Mullato’s new DJ” She said. He nodded smiling.

He smiled at me, Samar turned and seen me. “Oh, yall this my best friend Tye” He said. “Hey what’s up” They said. “Hey” I said. Samar got up and come over to me. “Don’t trip but follow me” He said. I sighed. “What Samar?” I asked. He smiled and just looked at me. He grabbed my hand and led me over to JT from the City Girls. “Hey” Samar said to her. She looked at him and smiled. “You got me the stylist you were telling me about?” She asked. He nodded. “JT this is Tye, Tye this is JT” I tried my hardest not to cheese but I stanned this bitch. “Heyy” I said. “So this nigga says you can style your ass off, we haven’t really got like a consistent one yet, but we have a shoot coming up soon, so let me see what you can do” She said. I pulled out my phone and nervously showed her some styles I had sewed together and some shoots I had did my self with my friends and other people. “Damn that fit right there something tough, I like that. Can you recreate that?” She asked. I nodded and smiled. “I sure the fuck can” I said. She smiled at me, “Okay girl, what’s your IG? “She asked. We exchanged information and she brought me over to Caresha. She was getting her hair done. “Hoe were the fuck was you at?” She said to JT. JT rolled her eyes. “I was busy Resh, This is Tye she going to do our shoot, she got some bomb ass looks” She told her. Caresha held out her hand. I handed her my phone. “Oooh bitch this shit cute as fuck, I want this” She said sliding through my phone. I was nervous cause I had some nudes in there and Caresha from City Girls was going through my phone. “You got nudes in here?” She asked smirking. I started laughing. “I knew it cause you looking nervous in the mirror, I’m bout to see” She said laughing. JT started laughing. “I’m sorry she aggy as fuck” She said. “I like nudes bitch, I’m nosey” Caresha said. She got to my nude and I almost died. “Okay nipples! Pussy popping” She said popping her tongue. “Okay bitch you bad” JT said looking. Caresha handed me phone back. “I like you; I can’t trust a hoe with no nudes” She said. These bitches were my type of bitches. We talked for a minute and then I headed back to my girls. As I am walking through the crowd somebody grabbed my hand. I turned around to see who it was, and it was Julian. I had not seen him since I went to his place and he just ate me out. I smiled at his fine ass. “Long time no see Mami, how you been?” He asked over the loud music. He had on swim trunks, a durag with some jays on. I see Samar peeking from backstage, “I know, I been good come with me to my section” I yelled to him. He grabbed my hand and I led him up to my section. I knew he was going to be mad but oh well eventhough he got me gig of a lifetime we was still beefin. “Yall remember Julian?” I said to them when I got in the room. They all smirked. “Hey Julian” Zion sang giggling. Saweetie was done performing and Samar was now DJing during the intermission. “Can you roll with me? All over me, can you take control of me? I just want to love you baby. Always thinking of you baby” Samar was playing “Rock Wit U” by Ashanti. I was by the balcony overlooking the stage grinding on Julian. “Umm all right now” Ariana said. This nigga was dry fucking me, hands tight as hell on my hips and I was giving into him because he was grinding his ass of to the beat. Yeah, I was going home with this man tonight.

Samar:

I was setting up my equipment for the next intermission. I just hooked up Tye up with JT and she still went off with another nigga. I mean I aint expect her to not too move on but not so damn fast, plus I wasn’t honestly sure about Diamond and I but she got connections and Im used to Us. “Hey Samar” I turned to see Saucy Santana. I sighed this nigga here. “What’s up?” I said. “You looking really daddish” He said. I slowly nodded. “You up next?” I asked. He came up mear my booth. “Mmhm, well it was nice as always as usual to see your fine ass” He said before strutting off and giggling. Diamond was laughing at the encounter. “Yo that’s not funny, he be trying me” She laughed hard. “I know, its so funny” She said. I sucked my teeth. She calm down laughing and went to sit on the chair. “What’s up with you and Tye” She asked. I didn’t budge I just kept setting up. “Nothing she just feel some type of way cause you hurt me you know we like fam” I said. She nodded. “Well Ima try to talk to her to see if she will like me again” She told me. I slightly laughed. Tye would beat her ass before she ever be cool with her. “Yeah cool” I said. She rolled her eyes and went to go back stage. After I set up, I made it mu mission to go see Tye. Tye always knew how to get back at me, especially now. I went back stage and saw Diamond all in the nigga DJ Rolla face just laughing and flirting.He was rubbing her thigh. She always flirting. “What’s up?” I said. He smied at me. “Just chilling with D fine ass” He said. Diamond got up quickly, “I got to go check on my set” She said. Dj Rolla just kept looking at me. I shook my head and walked off. Santana was on stage performing. “Walk em like a dog sis walk em like a dog”. I decided to go up and talk to Tye. I got my wrist band and went through the crowd and then into the lobby scanning my band. I got on the elevator and head up. I got to the room and scanned myself in. Tye was sitting in this nigga lap. “Yo what the fuck?” I asked Tye. “Aye this yo gay homie?” The nigga said. “Gay?!” I said about to fight this nigga. Tye pushed me back. “Outside” She said. I scannes my band and swung open the door. “Why this nigga say I was gay Tye?” I asked her. She shrugged. “Maybe you look like it, I don’t know” She started laughing. I pushed her. She then pushed the fuck out of me. “Nigga what the fuck?” She said. “Why you with him?” I asked. She rolled her eyes. “Why you with her? Going to L.A. and shit?” She asked crossing her arms. I sighed I had no right to be mad to ba honest. “I’m sorry about Diamond but it is what is” I said. She nodded. “It is, you do what you want and so do I. We still best friends remember” She then scanned her band and went back into the room.

Zion:

We was living it up in VIP, I was drunk not to drunk but I definitely was feeling my liquor. I was twerking on the counter in our room and on the balcony over the stage, everywhere. “What’s up Miami!!!!” I heard. “Bitch its Meg!” Tye yelled. Tye had been making out and chilling with Julian. “Where my bitches with the WAP at?” She yelled over the mic. We started screaming. All the girls were screaming. “I need me some Wet Ass Pussy Bitches up here right now” I started screaming. “Meeeee!” I yelled. The spotlight panned over to our section and I was going crazy. “Come on up here sis!” Meg said. I got so excited. “Damn calm down Z” Mel said laughing. “Bitch, I’ so excited!” I hurried out of the room and went into the elevator, and I almost bust my as from the foam. I felt like I was there in at least 5 minutes. Security helped me and like 3 other girls on stage and Cardi B. came out. “I need all my wet ass pussy bitches on this stage to show us what the fuck yall working with!” She yelled. “WAP” started playing. “Certified freak seven days a week wet ass pussy make that pull out game weak! Yeah yeah yeah you fucking with some wet ass pussy!” Cardi rapped. I was twerking like I was getting paid for it. Meg came over to me and started rapping her part when it came up. “Gobble me swallow me drip down the side of me quick jump out before you let it get inside of me, I tell em where to put it never where its about to be” Meg rapped. I started getting so hyped cause she was smacking my ass. I was breathing hard as hell. I started doing the routine with the dancers. “Aye she is fucking it up” Cardi yelled. After the song was over, they hugged me and Meg started rapping her song “B.I.T.C.H”.

As I was going towards the elevator in the VIP lounge this nigga and his friend came up to me. “I see you doing yo dance little mama, you fine as fuck what’s your name?” He asked. I smiled at him. He was sexy I felt like I seen him before. “Zion and do I know you?” I asked. He nodded. “Probably, I’m a rapper. I got that song with Lil Baby. My name is B Hunnid” He said. I nodded. “Oh yeah that song “Freak Nice” yeah that shit is hard” I told him. He smiled. “So, you want to come up to my section?” He asked. I nodded. I texted the girls in our group chat to let them know which room I was headed to and who with. When I get into his section, it was hell of niggas in there and maybe 2 females just twerking and one of them sitting in their lap. “Here” He handed me some Dusse’. I chugged some of it. He led me over to the couch and had me sit in his lap. “You live here little mama?” He asked me. I shook my head slowly grinding to Meg performing “Big Ole Freak”. “Aye Doogie make my little mama here something nice you know the one all the girls love” He told him. I started to feel slightly uncomfortable, but I was too drunk to question if anything seemed off. “Here you go little lady” His friend Doogie handed me some drink. “It’s red bull and Hennessey” He told me. I started sipping on the drink, while he was whispering in my ear telling me all the shit, he wanted to do to me. I was drunk as fuck and I started to feel kind of crazy. We started making out on the couch, and I was straddling his lap. We were wet and stuff from all the foam that was in the party, and he had a lot of foam in his VIP room. He was gripping my ass. I felt like I was on Xanax or something. I could not feel my body, but I was horny. “You want to come with me back to my hotel?” He asked. I shook my head. I wanted to go lay down. It was a knock at the door, and I seen Tye. “Hey, I’m Zion’s friend Tye” She said. “Tyyyyyeeee”I said sluggishly. “You good?” She asked. I felt like I was saying yes but my body was saying no. “Yeah she just chilling with me, I’m going to take her home” He said to her. Tye looked at me, and I smiled. “Yeah I’m I’m okkkkk” I said. She nodded “I’m drunk too, and Julian taking me home” She said. I nodded and she left out. I felt B Hunnid going in my pants playing with my clit. I was in and out. I could not think properly.

“Yall we about to head out” I heard. “Can she get up?” I heard somebody say. “Little mama?” He said to me. “Hmm?” I said. He pulled me up and my feet were moving slow as hell. I knew at this moment I was not drunk and maybe he had given me something, but I couldn’t even do much. I tried to move out of his grasp, but he kept bringing me closer. “We about to have fun tonight?” I heard. I looked around the dark room my vision blurry as hell. “Tye” I said lowly. I had seen us leave the room and then go to the elevator. I started to feel like I could not walk, or talk. I was so sleepy. I heard the music from the stage, then I seen darkness. I felt my eyes open again but it was hard too. I felt somebody pick me up and then a door close and I was out again. Then I felt somebody shake me “Aye little mama?” I heard. My eyes slightly opened I could see I was on like a bus. I was fighting to stay awake, maybe 15 minutes had gone by I was out.

Kyrel:

I was tired as fuck, but I knew I was about to get $1500 for the night. I got hired on by this catering company to bartend The City Girls foam party. I was in the VIP section Bartending for VIP. “Yo Ky look at that fine ass girl on stage twerking with Meg thee stallion?” My homie Juan said. I looked on the screen that was showing the stage. I kept looking cause she started to look familiar, that is when I realized it was Zion. “Yeah I know her” I said to him. He looked at me smiling. “Hook me up?” He asked. I mugged the hell out of him. “Nah man that’s the girl I was telling you about” I told him. “Ohhh shit, that’s the girl you believed fucked Maurice, boy you are tripping” He said to me. I looked at him irritated. “Sorry” He went over to help another VIP member. I kept looking at her, “Hey can I have just a water?” A lady said. I nodded and turned to get a water out the fridge. I turned back to scan her band. “Ok you good to go” I told her. She nodded. “Thank you”. I nodded and smiled. I then seen Zion walking back near the elevator when a nigga with chains approached her. I can see she was blushing, I tried my best not to look at what was going on. “Hey” A pretty girl said to me. She had on one piece with her hair in a bun, I smiled at her.“I hope I don’t seem thirsty, but I been noticing you since I got here, and I just wanted to say you are fine as fuck” She said to me. I smiled at her compliment. “Thanks baby” I said to her she started blushing wide as hell. “How can I help you?” I asked. I looked to see Zion get on the elevator. She turned to see me looking. “Oh that’s B. Hunnid” She said. “You know the nigga that got that song with lil baby?” She asked. I nodded in realization. “Yeah, got to stay away from that nigga I heard he be drugging and raping females” She said to me. I started to get worried, but I hope Zion was not going to fall for that shit, but why does it matter to me anyways. “So, can I get your number?” I asked her to change the subject obviously that is what she wanted, and the line was getting long as hell again. She nodded quickly and pulled out her phone.

We exchanged numbers and she went to the side to talk to me. I didn’t mind cause she was pretty plus I was bored and tired it was almost 9 pm and I was going to be here till 2 am. Juan and my crew had got the line down for now, Flo Milli was performing so the crowd was occupied until intermission. “So how cold does it get in Michigan?” I asked her. Her name was Briella, and she was here on vacation with her sisters, she was 21 and from Michigan, she seemed okay. “Really cold, like everybody talk about wanting it to snow where they live but no the fuck you don’t” She said. We talked for like 20 more minutes before her sisters came to get her. I was about to take my break when I see the rapper B. Hunnid his whole entourage, some girls and Zion who looked completely out of it coming out of the elevator. They were looking suspicious as fuck. “Aye Juan, I’m going to be right back” I said to him. I quickly left the bar and followed them niggas out. I ran out to the parking lot and seen them getting into a party bus. I checked my pocket for my keys and hurried to my car which was behind the building. “Shit” I said to myself trying to hurry up. I pulled off, speeding through the parking lot. For a minute I had lost them, but I see them hit the corner. I sped up until I got behind them. “Please God” I prayed. I sighed in relief when the pull over at a 7/11 gas station. I pulled up to the side and opened my glove compartment, I grabbed my gun and put in my pocket. I got out the car and walked over to they bus. “Oh, what’s up, you a fan nigga?” One of his entourage said pumping gas. I shook my head. “Nah but you got my girl on your bus and I want her off now” I said. The nigga tapped the window. “Nigga I think you got the wrong guys” He said. I shook my head and pulled up my shirt showing him my gun. “Nah I got the right guys; I want her off that bus now!” I yelled. A couple of other niggas got off the bus. “What’s good?” B. Hunnid asked. “You got my girl. I know what yall about get her off that bus now” I snapped. B. Hunnid smirked at me. “She does have some wet ass pussy” He said looking his lips smiling. I pulled out my gun out. They all backed up. “Shit” His homie said. “Now I’m not going to say it again, I want my girl off that bus!” I said pissed. “Man back the fuck up” I said going towards the door. They moved out the way and let me go in. The girls started screaming. I see Zion laid out breast out, sleep. I put my gun away and pulled her bathing suit top up and gently picked her up. “You lucky we left our shit in the trunk because you should have pulled that trigger home boy, pulling a gun on me” He said. I brought Zion over to my car and put her in the back seat. I see them going to into the trunk to grab they strap when a police officer pulled up beside them and turned on their sirens. I quickly but calmly got in my car and pulled off.

Melody:

“Aye Aye Aye Aye” We yelled in excitement as Tye and Ari was twerking “Say little bitch you can’t fuck with me if you wanted to these expensive, these is red bottoms these is bloody shoes” Samar was DJing playing Cardi B. “Bodak Yellow”. Ariana was drinking straight out the bottle doing what we normally do getting lit. “Now she said she gone what to who? Let’s find out and see Cardi B, you know where I’m at you know where I be? You in the club just to party, I’m in the three I get paid fee” I yelled at the top of my lungs holding up the bottle of Don Julio. My phone buzzed and it was Malachi.

I had not had a chance to tell what was up. I needed to tonight because he keeps sending me flowers and little gifts that I saved in a box to give back to him. Isaac told me I needed to handle this shit. Maybe it was not a good idea, I was drunk but oh well. “Anybody check on Z?” Ariana asked. I shook my head. “Tye said she was fine” I said. Ari nodded. “Where you are going?” I rolled my eyes. “Malachi wants to meet up, apparently he got us this section, he is doing too much” I said. “Where you are going?” Tye then asked. “Malachi’s section to tell him to leave me the fuck alone” I said. She nodded. “I’m going downstairs with Juilian and his friends” She said. I nodded. I grabbed me a water bottle. I walked down reading the room numbers, he was on the same floor but the floor we were on went all the way around. “301, 302, 303, 304 305!” I said as I was coming up on the section. I knocked on the door. The door opened revealing Malachi. It was alot noise in his room. I looked at him, he looked like he was geeked and he was sweaty. “Mel, whats good?” He said hugging me. He was wet and sticky, I was disgusted. I walked and seen Saweetie, some girl another girl, and some guys and Quavo from Migos. I was embarrassed cause I was drunk, and I started cheesing. “Hey yall this Mel, my boo” He said.

He said. The wheels in my head hit the brakes hard cause his what? I thought. “Hey girl” Saweetie said she was eating some wings sitting in Quavos lap. “What’s up?” He said. “Hi” The girl next to her said. “This my aunt Whitney” Saweetie said. I waived. “Hey everybody” My drunk ass said. I turned to Malachi. “Can we talk now?” I asked. I was then taking out of my thoughts when I heard them announce Flo Milli to the stage and she started performing “Weak”. “Flo Milli shit bitch” Whitney said. I started dancing obviously forgetting my surroundings. I was twerking and rapping along with her “So don’t be calling after 3, I do what these bitches want that’s why they running back to me, run that cash up, run the cash up!” All us of women yelled. Saweetie was twerking with her chicken wing drunk just like my ass. She had trash music, but she seemed to be fun. She turned to me and started talking “So I’m doing a music video for my song Back to The Streets, you think you can come to L.A next week and be in it.

I need some fine ass video girls” She said. My drunk ass was nodding happy as hell. “Hell yess” I said. She smiled at me and laughed “Okay cool, what’s your email. I’m have my team send over all the information for you”. She pulled out her phone. “[email protected]” I told her. “Girl! I like your email” She said. I smiled shaking my head “Me too sis”. Malachi came back in and I took the opportunity to tell him what was up since I had all this liquor courage and soon Isaac would be here, and I did not want no problems tonight. “Hey can we talk?” I asked him. He nodded smirking. “It was nice meeting you Beautiful” Saweetie said. “You funny as hell” Her aunt said. “Yall too” I said waiving bye. Malachi was touching all over me when we walked out of, they room. I can tell he had drunk some more or was on something else. “What’s up, but first I got you this bracelet” He said pulling out this pandora box out his shorts. I sighed as we started walking back to my VIP room. “Malachi, You got to stop all of this, Thank you for the section and the gifts but I have to send everything back or you can come get them” I told him trying to be nice.

He was fine as hell, but I wasn’t into him like that anymore, and I wanted to be with Isaac. “Listen, Melody baby. One thing about me is I always get what I want, and I want you and I’m going to get you” He said backing me into a wall. He was making me nervous and uncomfortable. “Malachi can you please back up” I said. “Why?” He leaned in trying to kiss me. I pushed him back and started walking off. “Boy you are tripping!” I yelled to him. I heard him run towards me, he snatched my arm back hard. “I told you what it was Melody, you gone go out with me and grind on me, not fuck me and accept all my gifts and then turn me down? Nah baby I aint going out like that” He yanked me towards him and pushed me into the wall and cornered me near the door to my section. He had me pinned up. “Why you are playing games with me Mel?”. I was trying to move him out the way. “Get the fuck off of me” I said trying to get this nigga away from me. He had lost his damn mind. “Malachi, I’m not going to say it again, get off of me”. I tried to push him and smack him. He grabbed my face hard as fuck and tried to kiss me

Isaac:

“I keeps it real nothing like you actors do, joints I flick, bomb raps I kick” I rapped along to Wiz Khalifa “Good Dank”. Trey and Freddie and I were waiting for the plug to show up. I was geeked off a perc and some Apple Crown Royal. We were on our way to that City Girl party to meet up with Mel and them. Tye best friend Samar who I was cool with hooked us up with some VIP. We were like 2 hours late waiting on this man Hakeem. “This nigga tweaking, I’m ready to see my girl she got the as out for me, not you but for meeeee” I sang doing a little dance in the back seat. A car pulled up, and it was Hakeem. “Motherfucker yo ass took an hour what the fuck was you doing, I might not want this shit no more” Trey said. Hakeem sucked his teeth “Trey man come on; my baby mama was tripping on me. Here bro” He said. Trey shook his head. “I need 30% off” Hakeem got annoyed. “Man fine” They did the exchange and we headed out. Freddie turned on Wiz Khalifa “Slim Skit”. “Yooo Ariana gone be there her fine ass” Trey said getting excited. “Nah how about Tye, broooooo I need some of that, I been trying to get at her she said I couldn’t handle her psssh baby please. I can now” Freddie said rolling the weed. “Mel say she got a thing for Samar. “I told them”.

Freddie made a face. “I’m going to change her mindddd” He sang. He then turned back around “Nah if I can’t get Tye Im def. trying for Zion. See what she is hitting on”. He lit the blunt and started smoking. He then passed to me, and it took a hit then passed to Trey. “Roll one up, Babeee roll one for meeee” I sang, I grabbed the bottle and took a shot. I then passed to Freddie. After 15 minutes we finally got to the place. Samar met us outside and security let us park in VIP. “What’s up Samar” I said. He did a head nod. “What’s good kid”. He gave us our bands. “I got to hurry up and do my thing, yall enjoy” He said. We showed our bands and were told the room number the girls were in. We stopped to get something to drink in VIP lounge, it was foam all on the floor shit was like a big ass bubble bath. “What the fuck! This lit as hell, this shit for like rich motherfuckers for real. I feel classy then a mug” Trey said. I texted Mel to let her know I was here.

But she was not texting me back. “They got some drank up there?” Freddie asked. I shrugged my shoulders “She aint answering my text, I’m head up there really quick and I will let yall know while yall in line” I said. I got on the elevator and headed up to level 3. I was feeling good as fuck, from the liquor, the weed and the perc. I was going to tear her ass up tonight “Yesssssirski” I said out loud. The elevator opened and I see F300, and I was looking for F333. “Knock if you buck” By Crime Mob was playing. Damn this was going to be a long walk, but I walk fast. I looked and seen I had 10 more to go. I heard what sounded like Melody yelling. “Get the fuck off of me”. I sped up and seen this nigga in my girl face “Malachi, I’m not going to say it again, get off of me”. She said. He had her pinned to wall cupping the fuck out of her face. “Bruh what the fuck, get the fuck off my girl nigga” I hit the fuck out this nigga head. He turned around and I noticed it was ole dude. “Motherfucker” He said charging at me. “Isaac!” Mel yelled. I knew any minute she jumps in to help me, but I was too focused to worry about her. This nigga and I were punching heavy hits at each other.

I wanted to kill this nigga I was so mad. I had him at first, but he started hitting me in the face, “Get the fuck off him!” I heard. Melody crazy ass had jumped in and started hitting him, He then pushed her hard as fuck, pissing me off e even more. When he turned around from about to charge at her, he turned back to me and My first connected with his face twice, he started stumbling and I got the advantage. I got on top of him and was going ham. I felt some arms picking me up and people yelling and saying, “World Star”. I was getting dragged into the elevator by security. “Man get the fuck off me!” I snapped. They then brought me outside. “You are banned from the premises sir; we don’t condone fighting” They said. I looked at my wrist and I had blood on it. “Isaac!” Melody ran out with Freddie, Trey and Ariana. “Bro what the fuck happened?” Trey asked. “This nigga was all in Melody face, had her pinned up on some real crazy shit!” I yelled. Then I turned to her “Man why you weren’t answering your phone! What the fuck was you doing with that nigga Melody!” I kept yelling at her. “Okay see you not about to get in her face” Ariana snapped getting between us. I moved her arm out my way. “Nigga who the fuck!” She snapped getting crazy with me.

“You all in my fucking face bruh back the fuck up!” I yelled at her. Trey held Ariana back as she was about to hit me. “I’ll beat your ass nigga, the fuck! Let me go Trey!” She yelled. “It wasn’t even like thag Isaac, I was telling him to leave me alone he keeps trying to pursue me” Melody said crying. “I don’t give a fuck about you crying bruh, i told you to stop seeing that nigga!” I said yelling. “Nigga she was trying to tell him to leave her alone! She not lying!” Ariana yelled. “Dumb ass” She said. “Bruh what?” I said pissed. Melody tried to come towards me, and I shoved her ass back. “Yo Izzy! Don’t put yout hands on her like that” Freddie snapped pushing me back. I got in his face and then backed up. I was heated. “Man fuck all this, fuck all yall” I said walking off. “Yeah nigga go calm the fuck down” Freddie said. I grabbed the blunt from my pocket and started playing some gospel off my phone and started praying and smoking to calm down. I started feeling bad for pushing and yelling at Mel and wanting to fight Ariana and Freddie. I started walking back. Melody was sitting the curb by herself crying. I sighed and came towards her and pulled her up. “Come here” I said. I hugged her. “I’m sorry for pushing you and shit. I love you man” I told her. I kissed her. “Um what the fuck happened? the police apparently are on the way” Tye said coming over to us. “Man, I don’t want to talk about, you drove here?” I asked. She nodded. “You got a way back?” I asked. She nodded. “Keys?” I asked. She went in her little book bag and tossed me the keys. “Mel come on” I said grabbing her hand to leave. “Yall be safe” Tye yelled. I nodded. I wanted away from this shit before the police came.

Ariana:

So far, the night was going well, until Isaac got into that fight, but I mean we still was having a good time. Anthony still was blowing up my phone, calling me. I unblocked him. “Hey ladies yall want an edible?” Julian asked us. He was up in our section with his friends and some girls. The girls were playing with foam, having a foam fight. One girl kept staring at me crazy. She looked familiar but I do not where I knew this little girl plus it was dark in our section. I grabbed two of the brownies and started eating them. I was starving we barely ate. “Damn you gone be fucked up Ri” Tye said. I started drinking again with Trey and Freddie. Freddie was flirting with the girl who was eyeing me, and Trey was all up in my face, which was fine because I was drunk again. “You know I been wanting you?” Trey said. I was sitting in his lap just cooling it. “Niggga since when?” I said. He started laughing. “Since I don’t know stop blowing my game girl” I sucked my teeth at him. “Boy”. “Yall give it up for JT and Yung Miami, The City Girls” The Dj yelled. Tye and I got up along with the other girls. “What that pussy talk ladies!?” JT yelled. All of us screamed. The song pussy talk started, and everybody started screaming the lyrics. We was twerking again, and falling over cause we had been drinking since 8pm, and it was now 11pm.

“Boy, this pussy talk English, Spanish and French, Boy, this pussy talk Euros, dollars and yens, Boy, this pussy talk Bentleys, Rovers and Benz, Boy, this pussy fly private to islands, to M's, Boy, this pussy talk Birkin, Gucci, Chanel ,Boy, this pussy talk Louis, Pucci, YSL Boy, this pussy makes movies, wetter than a whale, Boy, this pussy be choosing, draft, NFL”. The foam had us slipping and sliding trying to dance around, “Damn this alot of foam now” Tye said stressed. “I’m starting to get sticky as hell”. I went to go grab me a water because I was about to be on my ass. “Hey are you Ariana?” The girl who kepy staring. “I’m Nina, Anthony ex” She said. I started to get mad all over again. “Okay and? You can have him” I snapped. She shook her head and grabbed my hand. I snatched my hand from her. “Look, Anthony wanted me to talk to you, Anthony really cares for you me and him are beyond done! I do not want him; He do not want me. He wants you. You think you can give him another chance?” She asked. I sighed; I was feeling the edibles. I nodded. “Yeah” I said trying to sit down. She smiled softly “Okay cool so now you can cut things off with home boy” She said. I rolled my eyes “Aint nothing going on” I told her. “So, you think I can talk to him?” She asked. I shrugged my shoulders “I don’t care”. “Tye” I said. She was all over Julian. “I’m about to head out after this performance, you need me to drop you off?” Tye asked. I shook my head staring off at the lights moving to the beat. “Nah, Trey and them going to take me home” I said. She nodded and went back over with Julian. “If you fuck with me, I’ll take your man, you know I will hoe” City Girls performed “I’ll take yo man” as I stood stuck over thinking about Trey and Freddie maybe trying to gang rape me, or if this was a set up, but I still stood there.The Nina bitch came back over to me. “You good mamita?” She asked. I slowly nodded “No” I said. She then pulled out her phone and started calling somebody I laid down on the couch in our section and closed my eyes. I could hear the City Girls and smell the bubbles strongly from the foam. I felt nauseous as fuck, and I was hungry. I just laid there until I fell asleep.

Supporting Characters:

Diamond: (Mary Steph)

Julian: (Malik Bomaniallah)

Trey: (Odell Beckham Jr)

Freddie: (Malachaie)

Nina: (Taina)

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symphonyunknown · 4 years

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It’s crazy to me how a face can fool you.

It’s amazing to me how a face can fool you.

It’s crazy how good we are at hiding shit. About hiding how unhappy we are. How sad we are. How angry we are. How crazy we are. Who we really are...

Let me be open.

Lately it’s been an emotional eclipse for me. Darkness just covering the sun. It’s been a lot going on in my home and nothing bad just a lot of change. Then I lost an aunty so dear to me my heart gets heavier every day but i keep pushing yk? Time waits for no one. So I feel like I’m hiding how challenging life has been this season. I’m always expected to keep it together so I keep it together. My home is my sanctuary.. it’s supposed to be and that’s been taken from me and that bothers me (but I shouldn’t complain I should conform) (cap) (I ain’t going) I kick it everyday with folks like shit sweet which I’m living life is sweet but sometimes ion wanna talk I just want to sit and chill. Mind my business. Yet I put this smile on my face everyday when sometimes I’d rather not. It’s been an emotional eclipse fasho. It’s a lot going on that I have pushed to the side & I feel the weight.

I’m proud of myself for pushing myself to get out the bed every day and smile, laugh, and be good company. I’m proud of myself for pushing through what should keep me down. I trust in the Lord with all of my heart I wish I could give it all truly to him. I’m proud of myself for being happy genuinely within myself.

I have to stop letting people shake the room of the house I own.

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auxgod · 5 years

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Interview With DJOnTheTrack

In today’s music landscape, independence is seen as a virtue. Full creative control allows an artist to move with more honesty unto themselves. Trusting the process of growth, as well as a self-awareness of the value an artist brings to the table, are both major components to the way an artist tracks their career, almost like an investment banker.

San Diego producer DJONTHETRACK has done a tremendous job of calculating this balance. As the producer of many internet hits, such as the era-defining “Float On“ with 03Greedo, DJ’s ascension into the mainstream level of music-making has come with increased visibility and attention; especially from the labels.

Read below.

AuxGod: Let’s start from the beginning. Where are you from? What was your upbringing like?

DJONTHETRACK: I'm from SAN DIEGO CA, PARADISE HILLS to be exact. Being at the skatepark everyday growing up played a big part on who I am today.. AuxGod: I’m happy you mentioned being at the skatepark. With artist also being skaters and Skaters also being rappers/producers, do you feel the skate community and hip hop community go hand & hand?

DJONTHETRACK: Yes I do. I see lots of Producers/Artist that either use to skate, or still do, Such as Rich The Kid, LilGnar, ATLSMOOK, & etc..

AuxGod: Did you guys grow up with a lot of music being played in the house?

DJONTHETRACK: I Grew up with nothing but music in my house as a kid. My mom always knew what good music was. From when Jay-Z's "The Blueprint" album dropped, to when Kanye West dropped "College Dropout" she was on ALL of that AuxGod: The OG Rocafella days. Did she purchase those albums for you or you saved up to get them? DJONTHETRACK: She was the one who purchased them. I'd just be in the backseat of her old accord listening like "This shit so hard" She did purchase The Game album "The Documentary" for ME though AuxGod: So you were surrounded by music growing up it sounds like. How did you learn how to make beats? Did someone show you?

DJONTHETRACK- Nobody taught me how to make beats. I spent hours day in & day out trying to figure out how to master the basics of FL studio.

AuxGod: That’s dope you stuck with it. Who was the first person you sold a beat to that affirmed you wanted to do this?

DJONTHETRACK: BAD KARMA. My nigga HOPETON (RIP) Introduced us back in like...2010?. Once we did our first song together, I knew this is something I want to pursue.

AuxGod: How do you usually do business with most the artist you work with? Do you link up in person or send beats over email?

DJONTHETRACK: Its like a split in between both. I do send out beats to artist, but I really enjoy meeting IN PERSON. I like creating the sound & vibe with the Artist.

AuxGod: On a Good week how many beats do you make on average?

DJONTHETRACK: MAN on a good week, i'm running through about...15-20 beats no problem!

AuxGod: Out of all the beats you’ve cooked up, What are some of your personal Favorite beats:

DJONTHETRACK: "Dibiase" by 03greedo hands down. I listen to that song every day.

AuxGod: You and Greedo make a fire ass duo and really started to sizzle right before his incarceration. You remember where you were when you found out he was gonna be turning himself in?

DJONTHETRACK: Yes I agree We do! I was actually getting ready to send him some beats, & got a call from his management letting me know the news. Once He touches back down, We'll definitely get back to work

AuxGod: When you're not listening to your own production, what producers does DJ enjoy listening to?

DJONTHETRACK: I listen to a lot of 808MAFIA, a lot of ZAYTOVEN, a lot of MUSTARD, a lot of Pierre Bourne, & a lot of PLUGGZ shit fasho!!

AuxGod: You and well known producer Mexico Merio seem to have great chemistry. How did you two meet

DJONTHETRACK: Ohh yeah that's my brutha 4L. We met back in 8th grade @ Bell. We use to slap all the East hanks in class & at lunch. Later on down the line, Turns out he's making beats too. So once we inked up & cooked our first collab, it was a wrap after that. Nothing but HITS every time we link up

AuxGod: What are three things producers need in 2019??

DJONTHETRACK: PATIENCE, DEDICATION, & CREATIVITY. I feel like with these 3 things, You can achieve anything you put your mind to

AuxGod: With San Diego being such a diverse place, how do you feel about the music scene?

DJONTHETRACK: I fuck with the music scene out here. We got a lot of people doing their thang out here & there's a bunch of Talent hidden all through the city!.

AuxGod: Who are a few artist you feel should be on people’s radar this year?

DJONTHETRACK: From the city, My nigga YHGPNUT is making noise, also BAD KARMA got some shit coming that's gonna fuck the city up!

AuxGod: Is San Diego where you create best? Would you ever move to another city?

DJONTHETRACK: San Diego is my fav city to cook up in. There's nothing like the comfort of being home. My goal is to move up to LA for a bit when the time comes.

AuxGod: Most People Don't Know:

DJONTHETRACK: I do NOT fuck with SeaFood. "If its from the sea, it aint for me" AHAHA

AuxGod: If someone wants to reach out to you to purchase some beats, what's the best way to reach out to you?

DJONTHETRACK: Instagram or Twitter. I'm active on both so ill receive any message that comes my way, & we can go from there.

AuxGod: What’s the best advice anyones ever given you on your way up, and what’s the best advice you’d give to someone who is an aspiring producer?

DJONTHETRACK: SouthSide said

"Don't focus on the money, Focus on the work. With the hard work that's put in, the money will fall right on your lap" I've taken that saying as A Motive ever since the day I heard it. & Also TIME & DEDICATION is the key !!!

AuxGod: What can we expect from DJ for the rest of 2019?-

DJONTHETRACK: FULL WORK MODE. I'm using the rest of 2019 to perfect my sound and take it to the next level. Because 2020 Im taking over!.

I’m jus keeping the solid with the ones I came up with and trying new things.

AuxGod: Anything you’d like to close out with to all the fans and supporters to who appreciation all the work you put in?-

DJONTHETRACK: For all my peoples out there supporting the kid, ITS NOTHING BUT LOVE YALL! I couldn't have made it where I am today without the love & support of you guys reading this.

I promise I'm not stopping until WE on top of this shit! & even when we are on top.

Follow DJONTHETRACK on Twitter and Instagram here.

#dope #Aux God #DJOnTheTrack #Mexico Merio #MexikoDro #StoopidXool #03 greedo #San Diego #Music #Interview #DJONTHETRACK Interview #September #2019 #YHG Pnut #Spotify #spotify playlist #Soundcloud

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kneesocksandbirkenstocks · 7 years

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All my friends have bfs and they always choose them over me. They all prioritize romantic relationships over friendships and it’s really hard on me. I don’t expect them to chose me over their partner but it just makes me remember how lonely I am and how no one wants to be with me. And they always say oh you’ll find someone. Well it’s beenn 25years and I haven’t so I fasho don’t got my hopes up. I’m glad I have my sisters tho they hold me down.

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riseupworldwide · 5 years

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Ep174 - Steven Malcolm, Shiwan and #RiseUp2019

On this episode of @riseupworldwide @JoeBOSSradio @ProphetLink @DJLostNFound and @ProfD718 conducted a follow up interview with Steven Malcolm and Shiwan, 2 of 4 headliners for the Rise Up Worldwide's Inaugural event "Rise Up 2019", where we discussed touring, new music, projects and what to expect this year from their respective brands.

The conversation delved into Urban Worship, relationships and the need for a strong foundation in the faith.

@DJLostNFound Playlist

Byron Juane - I’m Good ft Steven Malcolm

This’l - Let’s Get To It

Da Truth - Vet ft Steven Malcolm,

A.I. the Anomoly - Eastside

Uzuhan- Charade (Remix)

Shiwan - Sporadic Freestyle

Roy Tosh - Rather Be Lost

Marvelous 6 - 360 Cypher

DJ LostNFound 4th of July Mix

Wande - Blessed Up

Aaron Cole - And 1

Uzuhan - FILA

Dj Standout - Ball

Derek Minor & Canon - Right Now

Quinten Coblentz - From the Roof

KB - Hold Me Back

This’l - Frauds

Reconcile - Dopefiend

Louionten - Facts

1K Phew - How We Coming

L. Dejuan - Okay Okay

S.O. - Boast

Aaron Cole - Fasho

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schmenna-blog · 7 years

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everyone is heaven

so yo, check it. it’s 8:37am. (or was when i went back to write that corny intro, who actually cares about any of that tho? lol...actually that would be tight if someone’s favorite time of the day was 8:37am..but anyway) this is what i literally typed on google when i first came home for whatever initial reason i can’t seem to fully remember other than the fact that i recently learned (again?) that my first name translates to “heaven” in arabic.

and u know what’s interesting? my parents didn’t even really know that when they chose my name for me: they picked it from a baby book because it was unique and easy to remember/pronounce or something like that. but ever since i found out, it’s been borderline scary (yet exciting) to even know my full name was probably really given to me by no one other than God him/her/oneself (although I’m not comfortable sharing my gov id just yet, lol). but anyway, i used to think my name was kinda boring. and not that unique since u could find it in pretty much any name jewelry/license plate swivel thing at Disneyland or those road trip gas stations. but to have literally been enlightened about the true meaning of my name by 3 diff people in 3 diff occasions within (maybe) 3 diff weeks, was mind-blowing.

and the day i just had/haven’t rested from yet was also mind blowing. life is mind blowing. but it’s all so cool at the same time.

ANYWAY,

the point of me mentioning any of this was to share what i read after searching “everyone is heaven” just out of my own curiosity to see what would pop up. i clicked on the 4th link: “What is Heaven Like?...” and this is literally how the article started off:

“’Heaven is a place, just as much a place as is New York or Chicago.’" Charles Ferguson Ball

Everyone wants to know about heaven and everyone wants to go there. Recent polls suggest that nearly 80% of all Americans believe there is a place called heaven. I find that statistic encouraging because it tells me that even in this skeptical age there is something deep inside the human heart that cries out, "There's got to be something more. Something more than the pain and suffering of this life. Something more than 70 or 80 years on planet earth. Something more than being born, living, dying, and then being buried in the ground. Sometimes we talk about a "God-shaped vacuum" inside the human heart. I believe there is also a "heaven-shaped vacuum," a sense that we were made for something more than this life. We were made to live forever somewhere. In a real sense we were made for heaven.

There is another fascinating statistic I should mention. Not only do most Americans believe in heaven, most people expect to go there when they die. If you took a microphone to the streets of Chicago and asked, "Do you think you will go to heaven when you die?" the vast majority of people would answer, "I hope so," or "I think so," or perhaps "I think I've got a good chance. Not very many people would say they aren't going to heaven. Perhaps one modest point is in order. Whenever you talk about living forever somewhere, it would help to know for sure where you are going. After all, if you're wrong about heaven, you're going to be wrong for a long, long time.”

damn, if i wasn’t already sure heaven was real place this low-key scared me into fasho believing it now. (plus that was pretty damn attention-catching & relatable if u ask me). and as much as i’d love to go on and on about my thoughts about the whole article, i’ve got a surprised birthday to plan hehe. but if u’re curious, feel free to click to learn more below. didn’t even realize at first where the source was from haha, but if that doesn’t bother u, please read more :)

with an open mind! to be honest, i haven’t read the bible very much at all aside from some scriptures or verses and overall generalizations others (or myself) have made. but i’ll be quiet now, haha.

enjoy +

http://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/what-is-heaven-like-11636670.html

#mind

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unchoixalafois · 7 years

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The first time he saw my tattoo. Sometime in 2013. We were 21 I think--

I park my car in the CVS parking lot. Anxiously waiting for someone I used to know. That one. Or the one, or that guy that I thought was the one. Needless to say, I’m still very much in love with him and I’m practicing my smug -I- don’t give- a-shit- facial expressions in my rearview mirror, my resting bitch face, also my normal face. I’m practicing on being normal? I’m a mess as usual. A bigger mess now that he’s making his annual comeback. I look back to see if he’s coming. I replay the last time we met in my head over and over again and hope that I don’t make the same mistakes. I keep score. Who did what last, who misses who, did I text back? Did he? Why are we meeting again? When will this actually, really, for sure end. Do I ever want it to end? Then the pep talk..

“Talk to him. Ask him about school. Be fucking normal.” I tell myself. I close my eyes. My eyeballs sting behind my eyelids. I’ve been up all night wondering what this night would be like. And here we are. A call.

“Aye. I’m off. Where you at?”

“Cvs lot.”

“Fasho, on my way”

I hang up quick. Too excited and ridiculously nervous. I open my car door, carefully close it and make sure I have my fucking keys. That’s just what I need is to lock us both out. A flashback. That night I did just that. One of the first nights I realized I wanted to keep this man in my life forever. The night he showed me the 80-20 rule, or 70-30. Whatever. I have a habit of locking myself out of my car. Always too eager, moving too fast, not thinking. He makes me this way. Reckless. I shake it off. I look around. There he is. Deep breaths. Deep fucking breaths. You got this. You’re hot.

“Hi” we hug. He grips tighter and longer than I expected. I let go first. First point goes to me. A mental tally on the imaginary scoreboard in the stars. Thank you Universe. I got him where I want him. He tells me he’s home for a few weeks, he’s working at his old job trying to save up before the next semester or quarter. I don’t remember I’m staring at his hands. His lips, his mouth, his teeth. He still has braces. I imagine what he would look like without them. I wonder if he’ll still want me when he doesn’t have them. We get in the car. He looks around.

“Old faithful” He taps the dashboard. We share a look. I smile.

“So what’s the plan?” I drive. I drive around the block and pass his old house. We catch up as much as we can. He tells me about school, about how he feels like he’s doing the best he can, about how he can’t wait to start making a living doing what he loves. I admire him. I admire everything he did to get out of this town. I wonder when I’ll get out of here. I take us to Berkeley. We walk into one of those cool hip college bars. Earlier this year I came here with a guy I met at the club. It was trivia night. Tonight the atmosphere is different. It’s a weeknight and no one is here except for a few people at the bar. Regulars. We walk in like we’re regulars. We sit at on the stools in front of the windows at the front of the place. Take off our jackets. I place myself on the stool and swivel the seat, trying to loosen myself up. He places his hands on my shoulders, recognizing the tension in my forehead.

“Hey, I’m glad we did this.”

“Me too.” He starts to massage my shoulders and stops himself when I give him a look. It’s simple but that’s all it takes. One point for him.

“So what are you having?”

“Guinness”

“Really? Yuck. First one’s on me” He comes back with 2 pints. One for him and one for me. He’s drinking something lighter. A Stella or something. Another flashback. I first saw him in “A Streetcar Named Desire” he played Stanley. I come back to Earth. He sits on his chair. He swivels my seat. He bumps me with his shoulder.

“So what’s new.” We talk. I tell him. Nothing really. I tell him my plans. What I’m thinking of doing with my life. I want to change the world. He knows this. He reassures me he supports my plans.

“So how’s your love life?” He doesn’t really tell me. He does that thing he always does where he talks about something to avoid the answer. He reminds me he’s just focusing on school. There’s nothing serious happening. A point for the both of us. I offer another drink. He agrees. We split a pitcher of a Mexican beer.

He pours. I pick up my glass. I’m such a lightweight. He’s such a lightweight. I can’t believe we’re actually drinking together. He admits that he doesn’t really like it. Our first drink together. My thoughts become repetitive. I’m not really making sense anymore. We joke around about how I used to get drunk at parties and he would have to take care of me. How he always enjoyed watching me evolve after a beer. He stares at me. I’m avoiding eye contact. All this beer gave me courage to look him in the eyes. We stare. We share a smile.

“This took too long to happen.”

“Cheers”

“To us?”

“Something like that.” More catching up. More loosening up. More shoulder bumping and laughing at each other. I joke about how he hasn’t changed even though he has. He says the same about me. And I know that I haven’t. We take a shot of tequila. Now we’re really feeling it. Feeling ourselves the way Bay Area kids do. We stumble out together and decide to share a donut. He force feeds me. I’m so full from the beer. He compliments my appetite. I love that he still wants donuts even if he’s trying to change that. There’s something about being back home that no matter what stage you are in life, no matter how much you’ve changed, you go to the same spots. You relive those nights you wish you still had. Those nights that were worth reliving, the simplicity of those times. We walk around the campus. Looking for geocaches. Another thing we used to do together. The few people out and about are in big coats, bundled. I took off my jacket and draped it on my purse. He’s holding his sweater in his hand by now. We’re warm. We’re buzzed. I walk ahead of him. He sees my tattoo. Paz.

“Oh shit. Is that it?”

“No that’s not it.” I joke. He stands behind me. I can feel his breath in this cold air. My legs disappear. My fingertips go numb and the hairs on my back stand up. He traces my tattoo. I feel the touch of his fingers. Tracing. Pressing. Gently.

“It looks really good Kay.”

“Thanks.” Fuck. I’m gonna lose it. The rest of the night was perfect in our way. The way it always is. We’re comfortable. This tension is familiar. This humor, these conversations, they’re different but the same. It’s late. We find a bench. We get real with each other. I’m relieved La didn’t make him an asshole. At least not yet. We wonder why it’s still so fresh. After all these years. How are we able to return to something we thought was lost. I don’t want the night to end. Neither does he. I take him home. I ask how to get there. I know damn well how to get there. We sit in my car. He asks me how many other people I’ve been with since him. I tell him. Honestly.

“3”

“Wow really? Me too” We stare at each other. We climb in the backseat. Same old story. He sits on one end, I on the other. He gestures to me,

“Come here”

“I’m right here” What the fuck is that shit? That deep meaningful bullshit we say when we’re really trying to say something else. We’re both here. We’re living in the moment together. We’re making up for all the nights we pretended to be with each other but were with people we settled on. People who were convenient. We’re getting revenge, for making the same mistakes.The same moment we have every time we meet. The same routine. But we love it and that’s why it never stops. I sit closer. I place my head on his chest. I try not to be a mess. I try not to unravel right then and there. I hold back all the things I’ve been rehearsing in my car. He reaches for my cheek, and grabs me by the jaw, the same way he always did. He kisses me. We look at each other. We understand just with our eyes.

“Hi”

“Hey”

I’m running my fingers through his hair. I bury my face in his shoulder. I unravel. And he puts me back together. I breathe him in. We wonder why.

“I don’t know when we’ll see each other again” Don’t fucking cry.

“Well, I’m glad we did this.” And he agrees.

We say goodbye. I leave and form lyrical verses. Replay the night in my head and wonder why the fuck we’re so caught up in this moment. This same moment. Over and over again. I spit out the poetry he leaves me with. I feel free. Why does he have so much power over me? I refer to the scoreboard . We’re tied. Here we are again. Tangled up in the old us trying to learn how to grow up. I tell him I think he’s my soulmate. The clock in my car reads 1:43 a.m. Thanks again Universe. He tells me he had no idea what to say to that. He doesn’t know what a soulmate even means. I don’t really either.

But that combination of words perfectly describes how I feel when I’m with him. I feel my soul awaken, I feel I’ve met my match. I can feel him in my bones. I can feel a thread of life between us. A kind of thread that doesn’t regard time, that doesn’t know pain, carefree, confident and reckless. Unstoppable. We go back to our normal lives. I get home and try not to breakdown. I sleep in the next day. Hungover. Not from the beer but from being emotionally drained. I see his sweater in my backseat. And suddenly I realize, it’s only a matter of time before he realizes. Maybe he already has and maybe it was his plan all along. Maybe he knows exactly what I mean when I say he’s my soulmate. And maybe despite all the leaps he’s made, I’m the brave one. The one who was willing to admit it. Admit this feeling that I’ve always had and never had the courage admit. Who knows. Only time will tell. And when it does I can only hope we’re finally on the same page.

#short story #writing #writer #love #lost #past #actor

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