#I wish I could destroy the eugenicist self hater inside of me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

disghostiation · 22 days

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I'm a mess lately. I'm not just putting up a good front during normal hours i feel like I'm actually doing okay during that time but then I'm shutting down real bad in the evening after social interaction.

T says I'm not giving myself enough time to rest but all I'm doing is resting, usually sleeping even during my free time. other parts of myself are being absent or cranky and I know that means T is right. I know everyone needs and deserves time but I wish it was easier to explain to other people.

I'm worried that I'm going to lose it in a big way soon and start a new mess that takes months to fix again.

negative

struggling with feeling I was not meant to exist. I cannot handle life. I need to spend the majority of my time recuperating in order to be able to exist this way. the thing draining me isn't even serious it's just I don't know I don't know how to explain. I don't know what I need. I just know it doesn't feel okay.

I feel like I wasn't meant to exist. I should have died.

#they #we posts #I wish I could destroy the eugenicist self hater inside of me #mental illness

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