[Trying to have a conversation w a dude who insists if you think everyone you date is toxic that you must be the toxic one. After a bit of back and forth, this is my final "argument". Only putting for context. The context doesn't really matter. This is my life. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the toxic one in this scenario.]

Unfortunately my toxic situations were legitimately toxic by any standards; lying, using, cheating, abuse, rape. Just undeniably fucked up. Not all, but definitely an inordinate amount.

Personally, even in my better relationships, I've always felt like I was just the person they were dating while they're waiting for someone "better" (which given all the cheating or getting dumped for someone else or just inexplicably ghosted or whatever that was definitely not just my perception). Not everyone is gonna value what you have to offer or they're gonna do the opposite and take advantage of it. On the less mega toxic side, its just been commitment issues, wanting to have their cake and eat it too, lots of stringing me along and wasting my time, just crap like that. But I'm way too old to have my time wasted or to be anyone's second choice at this point.

My relationship issues span the spectrum from severe trauma down to just timing issues, pretty much.

I mean, I literally have 40 year old men who I've known for 20 years who are into me but are unwilling to commit. That seems kindof pathological on their part. Like... you've liked/loved/been obsessed with/whatever shoe fits with me for 20 years. I'm single, you're single. But at 40 years old, you just wanna keep it fun and casual? Come on. Smh. It's really ridiculous. And I'm just exhausted w it all.

One of my biggest if not the biggest relationship mistakes I made in my life was in my last big LTR. It was give or take 5 years. I really did waste precious years of my life and critical time for me as a woman (biological clock) trying to work it out, based on the fact this man supposedly shared my values and wanted marriage and children. But, at the end of the day, he just didn't want that with me. I feel like it's for shallow, immature reasons. But, regardless of why, it is what it is. But I lost so much time in a situation, just because I wanted it so bad, that I should've saved myself and walked away from after the first year. I think I was just so desperate for marriage and a family I was like "omg, I FINALLY found someone who wants this too", I ironically may have lost my chances at even having that, by staying w the wrong person, who was just stringing me along. But I can't change it now. That's just a huge mistake I have to live with. I do resent him for it though. And I even feel pretty strongly he'll regret his choices he made too (because he definitely loves me and needs me, he's just... being stubborn AF). But by then, it'll be too late for him too. But that's just life I guess.

I just feel like one of the worst things anyone can do is waste someone's time.

Almost anything else in life is resolvable. You heal. You move on. You work it out. Whatever. But time is something you can't get back. And too many people have wasted my time. And have wasted my time, even knowing my story and knowing everything I've been through or everything I want, etc. That's just... a whole different level of selfish, careless, whatever. It's a risk we all take when we invest in people. But after time and time again of trying to make these investments only to land flat on my face and come out empty handed, it's just... I have lost my faith in relationships for sure.

There's undeniably something damaged in dating/relationship culture at this point in time. If I got married at 25 (so roughly the mid 00s for me), it may be a different story. But I waited. And ended up single at this very unfortunate time in history, when everyone is out for themselves and marriage/family seem to be an antiquated goal.

I was, ironically, engaged at 24. But didn't feel ready at that time (I wasn't) but if I knew then what I know now, I would've just done it. But can't go back now. Thats just how it worked out.

(Gary anon) People finding an excuse to hate characters? A tale as old as time, unfortunately. Those these days, it feels like there's always morality and dangerous cases of policing attached to it. (Couldn't tell ya, honestly. Forums aren't immune to this, but there's a difference between those and upfront sites like Twitter and Youtube, where you're dodging landmines every week against your will. And that fact you directly message creators and directors? Ignoring works, but only so much)

.

(Part 2) (when death threats are being thrown in droves) A break and some time to enjoy other things in the meanwhile (Mhm, the thing I remember distinctly is Oak being the one that gave Blue [and his sister] their pendant; which actually saves Blue at one point. Also has a picture of his granddad inside. And Oak being rescued by his grandkid a few times and playing an authoritative role sometimes) Keeping his starter a secret was fine, there was a fun mystery to it.

(Part3) Problem was that they practically kept everything ELSE about Gary a secret too. So you're left with more questions surrounding him than answers; no matter how strong a presence his character was. (And Tyranitar redemption) As said, I'm not going hold my breath on it and need to see how the PWC and Project Mew are handled first before properly speculating on how Journeys ends. But I am 75% certain Ash will have something post-PWC that determines his next step.

(Part 4) (We know it's at least either Mega or Z-move for Leon. If it's Pika-Z there, it's looking like G-max Gengar for Steven. Especially when it just had a training episode) Cynthia, the only thing I'm sure on is Dragonite being the final to make up for losing to Paul. (Generally curious how they'll react to the Twerp potentially ending up the strongest trainer in the world. They've always been secret supporters)

Yeah, and unfortunately it's hard not to think people grasping for any reason to hate on a perfectly fine character comes from some kind of prejudice, considering the kinds of characters that tends to happen with (when it's not related to shipping, but that tends to fall into misogyny pretty often too). Which makes it interesting that sometimes people will try to come up with "moral" reasons to justify it, like reading a character's actions in the most bad-faith way possible. (Leon as an example, gets painted as a bad brother with surprising frequency despite how clearly he loves and cares about Hop?)

Yeah, it's really hard to say why people who are connected by their interest in a piece of media so wholesome can be so cruel. It happened with the Undertale fandom too, I remember--Undertale being a game where one of the major themes is how powerful kindness can be, yet. For a while its fanbase was notoriously toxic (and also super transphobic, pretty sure people are still misgendering the nonbinary characters to this day).

Back when the fandom was obsessively hating on SwSh I remember getting called a shill for... saying harassing the developers and whatever poor soul runs the Pokemon Twitter is not okay. In hindsight I wish I could laugh about how petty and childish grown adults were about the Dexit thing, but prioritizing a game over the well-being of real people is kind of a horrifying sense of priorities.

But uh. Putting that really unfortunate topic aside. Yeah, the break for Pokeani is for the best. Giving us all some time to settle down and focus on other things.

Oh, I remember that! Blue took a razor wind to the chest and it probably would've killed or at least seriously injured him were it not for that. Thank goodness for Adventures Oak's forethought. (And now I've grabbed and started flipping through my copy of volume 3 and been reminded the scene where Blue finds where Professor Oak is tied up and rescues him is so sweet? Blue's so concerned and with how cool and aloof Adventures Blue usually acts, it's adorable.)

(But I will read my manga later when I'm not in the middle of responding to messages.)

Yeah, waiting until the right time for a big reveal of Gary's starter was fine (and interestingly in hindsight, it was subtly hinted at by him making his second appearance very briefly (read: he opened a door in Ash's face and walked off without a word) in the Squirtle episode, which was a clever bit of foreshadowing on the writers' part) but uh. They kept so much about him hidden and mysterious and it's hard to say why.

Yes, and Tyranitar redemption!

Yeah, I guess at this point only time will tell how that plays out.

Should be interesting to see how all that goes! Exciting stuff!

Yeah, it'll be great to see how the TRio reacts to that! They usually end up rooting for him during these things.