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#I think it’s funny they were raised in a matriarchy
paunchsalazar · 2 years
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baby Hitachiins!!! and their alpha grandmother
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We’re excited to explore the theme of Matriarchy with our next speaker, Zoë Pawlak.
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Contemporary artist and industrial designer Zoë Pawlak is known for her evocative and intuitive command of colour, material, and composition.
‘A mother and leader, Zoë guides with confidence and humility, with a commitment to expand what’s possible — for her clients, ourselves and those who intersect with her vision. Raising two kids and creating a successful studio practice as an entrepreneur at the age of 24, her deep faith and spirituality have been essential touchstones, helping her weather the inevitable ups and downs as an artist. In 2018, Zoë recognized her unhealthy relationship with alcohol and found sobriety.
How do you define creativity and apply it in your life and career? When you monetize how you’re creative, it shifts your relationship to art making. Why you create changes everything about what you make and who you make it for. My business is largely based on customer love and excellent service. To reconcile this with a creative life, is quite the feat.
Where do you find your best creative inspiration or energy? I listen to a lot of music. I love exercise, it keeps the blood flowing.
What’s one piece of creative advice or a tip you wish you’d known as a young person? Save money. And keep asking for help. I had a LOT of good mentors along the way.
Who (living or dead) would you most enjoy hearing speak at CreativeMornings? Tom Waits. Wait, would that be interesting? Hard to tell.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? Cliff jumping in the Philippines.
What’s your one guilty creative indulgence? I’m currently writing a pilot and have NO idea what I’m doing and it’s an indulgent blast.
What are you reading these days? Dare to Lead and Pleasure Activism (both SO good).
What fact about you would surprise people? I think people assume I’m brave. I am scared all the time.
How would you describe what you do in a single sentence to a stranger? I’m an industrial designer and painter, making custom, original artwork for private clients and interior designers.
What’s the most recent thing you learned (big or small)? Easy does it.
If you could open a door and go anywhere where would that be? Chile back to my family there.
What keeps you awake at night? My cat.
What myths about creativity would you like to set straight? You have to work for it. Good work ethics promotes good work. This is not a cruise. Also, I love this talk.
Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What lessons did that person teach you? I look to many strong, female, creatives who have paved the way: Missy Elliott, Anne Lamott, M.I.A., Erykah Badu. To thine own self be true and that this is not only creative work, but that there’s power in the paving of a creative career.
What are you proudest of in your life? My kids being kind and the young people who have worked with me claim they learned something.
Where was the last place you travelled? New York three days before shut down.
What was the best surprise you’ve experienced so far in life? Sobriety, I never thought that would happen to me.
Where is your favourite place to escape? My studio or Naramata.
What was the best advice you were ever given? Listen to your life.
What books made a difference in your life and why? The Untethered Soul, again and again and again. Too many to count. Winners Take All, Just Kids…the list is endless. Being a READER has made the biggest difference in my life.
What practises, rituals, or habits contribute to your creative work? A strong, consistent-but-fluid morning routine and constant snacks.
When you get stuck creatively, what is the first thing you do to get unstuck? Call someone funny.
If you had fifteen extra minutes each day, what would you do with them? We have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyoncé.
What has been one of your biggest Aha! moments in life? Knowing that I am unconditionally LOVED by God/Universe/Love etc.
What is the one question we haven’t asked that you want to answer? Are you afraid of dying? Working on it.
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🎶 This month we are excited to be joined by Rap & Soul singer Missy D.🎵
Missy D is a bilingual female emcee who was born and raised around the motherland and represents a blend of African cultures in her life-force and in her music which is a blend of Hip-hop and R&B she calls Rap & Soul.
You don’t want to miss this!
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demigodsanswer · 5 years
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A Marriage of True Minds
So I can’t get this AU out of my head, and so this happened. 
Summery: Percy and Annabeth are in line for their own respective thrones, and have only met in person once when they were twelve. But for nine years they maintain weekly correspondence, becoming, in many ways, each others closest friends. When they are both 21, Annabeth, particularly, is feeling the pressure to get married. After a bad encounter with a suitor at 16, she puts it off marriage prospects until she is 21, when she has the perfect idea: ask her best friend to marry her. 
(TW for attempted rape) 
Poseidon’s kingdom is on the south east side of the continent, where as Athena’s is north west. The kingdoms have a past history of bloody war, but they have been a relative peace for about a century. Still they aren’t close, and the leaders of the respective nations rarely actually communicate or see each other. 
The last time either leader traveled to the other kingdom was when Athena and Annabeth traveled to Poseidon’s kingdom for his marriage. Percy and Annabeth met there as 12 year olds, and spent the month playing and training together. Because Athena’s kingdom is a matriarchy, they have no problem with Annabeth learning to sword fight, and Percy is happy to have someone his own age around to practice with. 
 King Poseidon had previously been married, and had two sons with another woman, the Queen, but she passed away when Percy was 11. Percy was raised in his father’s palace, but as a bastard. When his father married he mother, he was legitimized, making him third in line for the throne. 
At the end of the month, when Annabeth leaves, Percy promises to write her. This starts off a nine year friendship built exclusively over letters. 
Annabeth is first in line for her throne, and therefor gets a lot of marriage proposals once she turns fifteen. 
Annabeth complains about these men pretty consistently to Percy, hoping that he proposes marriage. She hasn’t seen him in years, but he was cute when they were twelve. And physical appearance doesn’t actually mean much to her. She knew they got along intellectually and that was all she wanted - a marriage of minds. If he was good looking, that was great, but she didn’t need that. 
But that doesn’t happen. And Athena never suggests him either. Annabeth pretty much figures out that it’s because of his former bastard status. Athena hasn’t even considered his proposal if one has been made, but, likely, Percy sees himself as unworthy. 
Athena turns down most suitors for Annabeth, but there is one who makes his way through. Luke, a 23-year old duke-to-be. Annabeth is 16 when they meet, and the two click pretty quickly. He’s funny, he’s sweet, and he kisses her hand every time they greet each other. 
He’s starting to look like a viable match. Annabeth even tells Percy about him. But before Percy can respond, Luke proves to not be as great as Annabeth and her mother once though. 
After a few weeks with the family, Luke asks if he can kiss Annabeth, and she lets him have a chaste kiss. They share a few more kisses over the next week or so. Then, one day he deepens the kiss, and she lets him. He mutters sweet complements to her about her beauty and intelligence, and how he wants to marry her and is going to propose marriage soon. Annabeth is thrilled.
The next day, Annabeth goes to his room to give him a book - Athenian history. If he is going to marry her, he should know their history. Luke invites her in, takes the book, and starts to kiss her again. Annabeth is okay with it, until she remembers where she is and what people might think if they realize that she is gone and in her suitor’s room. And then Luke starts to move to the bed, pushing her down onto her back, holding her under him. 
She starts to struggle and kick, and say that she wants to go, but he doesn’t let her up. He starts pulling at the ties on her dress, saying that they will be engaged soon and that no one has to know. But Annabeth knows what he wants and refuses to give it to him. She manages to get her hand under her skirt to where she keeps her knife (because of course she does), and cuts him across his face. 
Luke flies off of her, holding his face to stop the bleeding. Before he can retaliate, Annabeth is running out the door, dress still torn and, now, bloodstained. 
She runs to her mother and explains what has happened, and Luke and his father are out within the hour. Annabeth refuses any offers of courtship for a year, and does not even meet in person with any potential suitors until she is 18. 
After Luke leaves, she writes to Percy “Courtship with Luke is over.” Percy sends her comforting words, but he doesn’t ask what happened. Annabeth is grateful for that. 
Between 18 and 21, Annabeth meets some potential suitors but has a hard time trusting any of them. The only one she comes close to is Frank, but on the fifth day of their courtship, he confesses to being in love with a woman back home, and asks Annabeth to call of the courtship, saying that his father will never forgive him if he is the one to call it off. 
At 21 years old, Athena is starting to really look for Annabeth to find someone to marry. Annabeth does not need to be married to rule, but, as her mom keeps pointing out, strategic alliances through marriage are the strongest. 
Annabeth asks if Percy has had as much bad luck with suitors as she has. He confesses that he hasn’t had nearly as many suitors as she has. “Legitimized or not, people still see me, at best, as third in line, and, at worst, an illegitimate bastard. No one wants to marry me. I’m likely to be forced into some high ranking military position just to save my family the trouble.”
Annabeth writes back. “Nonsense, any woman would be lucky to have you. I would certainly marry you over any of the men I’ve had to meet the last five years.” 
Percy writes back. “Are you serious about marrying me? Because life with you sounds much nicer than military life.” 
Annabeth thinks hard about his letter when she gets it. She knows she likes Percy, and she could easily grow to love him. It would be politically advantageous to marry someone from that kingdom to secure peace, and, because of his former bastard status, he is just scandalous enough for Annabeth’s more adventurous side. Plus, they already have a great respect for each other. It would be a marriage of true minds, and that would be perfectly ideal for Annabeth. 
She responds to Percy that, yes, if he offered courtship, she would accept. She would do anything in her power to get her mother to accept the courtship. 
The next month, an official offer of courtship is made, and, with some convincing from Annabeth, Athena agrees to accept the proposal. 
Four months later, a royal caravan from the south enter the kingdom. 
Percy cleans himself up from the road - he’s pretty much ridden horseback the whole way, only using the carriage when it was raining (and even then, only most of the time) - and he gets ready to see his best friend for the first time in nine years. 
He walks into the throne room, and sets eyes on Annabeth, and nearly passes out. When they were twelve she was boyish, aggressive, and wearing trousers most of the time. Now her hair was combed, she was in a silver dress, wearing a tiara, and wow she beautiful. 
After a moment, Percy remembers his manners, and they get on with the meeting. He goes to Annabeth and greets her by bowing and kissing her hand. She just stares at him with an intensity that he had almost forgotten. He can’t read her emotions at all. Maybe she was not as satisfied with him as he was with her. 
By the end of the meeting, Athena and Annabeth have agreed to courtship, lasting no more than a year, during which time Percy and whatever members of his royal company he would like, would stay with them in the palace. 
When they are dismissed, he asks Annabeth for a walk, and asks his companion, Grover (son of a lesser lord) to chaperone them. 
As soon as the three of them are alone, Annabeth pulls Percy into a hug. He hugs her back tightly, lifting her off the ground a bit just to show off that he’s no longer shorter than her. 
Annabeth would be a fool to deny how handsome Percy had become. He still looked a little wild and mischievous, but he was also more composed and mature. And he was so very, very handsome. If they never found love together, she would at least not have any trouble going through with the act of conceiving children. 
They walk around the garden for hours (Percy feels bad, they barely acknowledge Grover) but they have a lot to catch up on. 
When the sun starts to set, they make their way inside for dinner. 
At the end of the night, Percy kisses her hand goodnight, but, had he had any less sense of decorum, would have probably just asked to kiss her. 
Before Annabeth lets him walk away she asked, “When do you think you should propose marriage?” 
Percy pauses. They had written back and forth and agreed that, barring any real issues, their courtship would end in proposal and marriage. But he had spent all day so enamored with just being around her that he hadn’t even thought of it. 
Finally he answers, “How long would be appropriate? I don’t see much need to drag courtship out if we already know that we get along.” 
“I agree. I think three months would be sufficient. My mother knows that we have been writing, so she won’t question it.” 
Percy smiles and nods. “Three months then.” 
“Three months.” Annabeth agrees. 
Percy smiles and takes her hand. “At this rate, by the end of the year, you will be my wife.” 
Him saying that fills Annabeth with an anxiety and excitement. She squeezes his hands. “And you will be my husband.” 
He kisses her hand again, still clutched tightly in his own. “Good night, Annabeth.” 
She lets go. “Good night, Percy.” 
They weren’t alone, as they thought, when they had that conversation. A servant overheard, and quickly rumors spread that the reason for their courtship was because of love. “Isn’t it romantic,” the servants whisper, “a marriage for love. Long time friends turned lovers.”  It does not take long for these rumors to get back to Athena. 
She confronts Annabeth about it, and accuses her of rejecting other suitors just to marry someone far below her own station. 
“He is not bellow my station,” Annabeth argues, “he is in line for his own throne. He is legitimate.” 
“You could have told me if you were in love with him and this marriage business could have been over with a long time ago.” 
Annabeth realizes then that Athena does not think this is the smartest match she could make, but is allowing the courtship to go on because Annabeth seems excited by it. It’s not like her mother to listen to servant gossip. The fact that she believes it means that Athena has thought her daughter was in love with Percy for a long time. And that Annabeth’s “love” for Percy is the only reason this courtship was allowed to happen at all.  If Athena finds out that they don’t love each other, Athena may call and end to the courtship. 
“He has already promised to marry me,” Annabeth tells her, “that rumor is true. We were going to wait an appropriate amount of time but ...” 
“No need for all of that. Tell him he may ask me for your hand whenever he feels ready.” Annabeth nods and turns to leave but Athena stops her. “And Annabeth, from now on, your brother will be chaperoning your interactions with him,” Athena walks closer and places a hand on her shoulder, “for your safety,” and Athena meant that. Annabeth hugs her mother quickly, before leaving. She needed to find Percy before her brother found the both of them. 
Annabeth finds Percy in the garden and fills him in as quickly as possible. He must propose much sooner and they must pretend to be in love. Percy agrees and doesn’t have an issue with it. 
They’ve only been alone for a few minutes when Annabeth hears her brother approaching. Quickly, Annabeth grabs Percy and kisses him. Percy’s breath catches and he freezes for a moment, before catching on to what she is doing. He quickly places a hand on her waist, and another hand on her face, making the kiss look like the tender kiss of two lovers newly engaged. 
“Annabe - Oh, there you are,” Malcolm freezes, and the two pull away. “You know mother sent me to chaperone, but I really don’t want to be in the way of you two too much, so if you ever need a” he gestured vaguely, “moment, please tell me and I will turn away.” Annabeth smiled at him. “So it’s true then?” He asked. “You two are really getting married?” 
“Yes,” Percy said, “once I ask your mother officially.” 
“But she’s given her blessing,” Annabeth says, putting her hand on Percy’s. 
“Great,” Malcolm says, rocking back on his feet. “Anyway, I’ll just be, sitting over here, reading my book, don’t pay any attention to me.” 
Once Malcolm is sitting, Annabeth mouths “sorry” to Percy, who just shrugs. “It was nice” he mouths back. Annabeth just shoves him. 
They continue to talk in hushed voices about the engagement and marriage, and about this ‘pretending to be in love’ stunt they have gotten themselves into. They have to talk in relatively coded language though, just in case Malcolm can hear them. Or in case of more nosey servants spreading their business through the castle. 
When they depart at sunset, Percy leans in, seeking silent permission to kiss her again. Annabeth closes the space between them, kissing him gently, and much more appropriately than before. Percy finds himself desperately wishing for a third and fourth kiss. 
When Percy gets back to his wing of the castle, Grover is waiting for him. “So do you really love her?” He asks. 
Percy just shoves him into his room and sits him down and says, “Yes, no, kind of.” Percy explains everything that happened the night before and that day. He pauses when he gets to the kiss. “And then she kissed me, and, of course she is beautiful, and she’s my best friend, I feel like I could tell her anything, but I didn’t expect that when I kissed her for the first time -” 
“It would be a show for her brother?” 
“Well yes, but mostly, I didn’t expect that I would be able to actually imagine doing it because of love. It was like ... in that moment, I could imagine us living together and having children and ruling together, and being in love I guess.” 
“Well, considering you will be proposing by the end of the week, its probably a good thing that you can imagine those futures. I’ll leave you alone now with your fantasies of your future wife.” 
When Grover leaves, Percy lets the term “future wife” wash over him and mingle with memories of the kiss. He smiles and suddenly he feels like his whole body is on fire in a way he’s hardly ever felt before. 
Annabeth, likewise, is on fire. Luke never even made her feel this way. She was sure she wasn’t falling in love with him - no they had been friends for so long, and he was handsome, so of course that kind of intimate contact would have a physical effect on her. Her logic doesn’t make the feeling go away though.  
(That’s all I have energy for right now. But let me know if people would be interested in a part two or real fic version of some of these scenes. For sure don’t have time for a real chapter fic, but some fluff or smut here and there featuring period clothing is my jam)
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khazadspoon · 4 years
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If it's not too late... for the Character Solidifying thing, could I ask one (or all aha) of 3/19/23/46/49 for Lin and/or Hunter and/or Ash? ☆
Never too late!! Thank you for sending some in, I chose to do all 3 characters because why not? Feel free to ask more! Here are the questions and here is my askbox
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3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?
Lin is an only child, but she always wanted a sibling to play with as a child. But her family couldn't afford another child. She never played with the other children in town out of fear they would reject her or bully her because of her poverty
Hunter had an older brother who died when they were both very young; no one talks about him that much, preferring not to bring the pain back to the fore even so many years later. But there are others he grew up with around his own age, though he got irritated at how careless they all were about safety. He secretly loves when the younger kids cling to him and ask for rides. 
Asher is one of many children and is very social because of it. They grew up in an environment where everyone's kids grow up and learn together. Out of all of their “siblings” they love Gwynn the best - he was their first kiss, he taught them how to embroider, and always let Asher have the ripest fruit from the gardens.
19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?
Lin is convinced that love and happiness are only for those with the time and money to find them. She grew up without softness, and it is incredibly hard for her to accept that she can have good things regardless of how she grew up. For a long time she believed she wasn't good enough, but now she knows that is a lie - she always was.
Hunter thinks the world is unfair at it's core. He thinks that even after gaining more affection than he knows what to do with, even after seeing goodness in all it's forms. Though he might now think goodness isn't as scarce as before.
Asher, conversely, believes the world is inherently good. They think the best of everything and everyone until proven otherwise. That has shifted over time as they saw more of the world, saw more cruelty and unhappiness, but the basis of that belief remains.
23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?
Lin, when she lets herself think about it, wants a partner who will shower her with love and gifts and kindness. She thinks that is selfish of her, but she wants it anyway. She has no strong feelings about the physicality of sex but is not averse to it. Her only concern is of losing control and hurting her partner. 
Hunter is unconcerned about romance for the most part. It is a surprise to him as much as anyone else when he falls in love. He had always imagined settling down with a woman from his own clan and raising an heir to continue the matriarchy if possible. Then all of this happens and he is suddenly unsure of what he wants. He has always had a strong libido, has had crushes and desire though.
Asher always thought they would just marry Gwynn when they were of age. They didn't love him like that though, and the thought faded after a time. They did imagine a partner who was confident, funny, strong and exciting though, even if that wasn't what they ended up with exactly. They grew up without specific notions of gender so that wasn't a factor for Asher, even if it was for some of their siblings. Sex was also just a matter-of-fact thing that happened, was talked about, and in a way expected. Asher didn't think it was all it was cracked up to be when they first experienced it.
46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?
Lin is average height, around 5 and a half feet tall. She has been thin (almost dangerously so at times) all of her life, and gains weight very slowly. She holds herself tight, makes herself smaller than she is to avoid being noticed. Her body is just her physical presence, just something that needs to be cared for to keep it running, and she often looks at it with disdain. 
Hunter is short, just over 5 and a half feet, but he is solidly built. He has thick muscle and knows how to use it, stands straight to bring his height up as much as he can, is compact and built for endurance more than speed. He is proud of his strength and tries his best to keep his body as fit as he safely can. 
Asher is tall, 6 foot 4, and has the limbs to match. Leggy and gangly, they are all flailing movement. They aren't especially broad but they have some hidden strength. They have been brought up to take part in every part of their culture, from the intellectual pursuits to harvesting and ploughing. They don't experience crippling dysphoria but it creeps up at times and they wish they looked... different. 
49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?
Lin speaks quietly and usually in a clipped tone. If she can get away with saying less, she will. Talking means being vulnerable and she doesn't want to open herself up to others. There are lots of words she has only learned through listening to others, and she picks up the pronunciation of them through the people she learned them from, so her accent is a little bit confusing for most. It ranges from elevated and “posh” to low and “common” all within a single sentence.
Hunter can be rather quiet, but usually because he is thinking about how best to say what he means. He is well spoken, has a strong and deep voice, he speaks slowly and with a gentle rhythm. His accent is unique to his own clan, with a fluid sound where words can easily run into one another - often outsiders get lost in conversations between clan members, but Hunter makes a conscious effort to slow his speech down when dealing with anyone new.
Asher is a talkative and expressive person. They speak a lot generally, and moreso when happy or excited. They have a higher voice than Hunter, similar in pitch to Lin's, but it is stronger than her's. The tempo and rhythm very much depend on whether they are invested in the conversation or not - if it is boring, they will speak in a close to monotone voice with little expression, but if they are invested and excited their voice will rise and fall almost musically. 
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sam-not-samantha · 4 years
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The Blackwoods & the Rheiders
“A train wreck dynasty of cash stacks and funny farms.”
#sltask02
 [Photos embedded, but not all characters have a faceclaim.]
The Blackwoods (Immediate)
Andrew Blackwood | Father | June 21, 1969-April 30, 2017         “Paycheck giver. Businessman. Quiet and kind, yet so apathetic.” Eliza Blackwood (née Rheider) | Mother | October 28, 1971-April 30, 2017         “Whiny bitch. Passive-aggressive. Judgmental. Tasteless. Fucking DEAD.” Samantha “Sam” Blackwood | Self | February 5, 1995         “Best fucking person you’ll ever meet.”
The Extended (And not-so-distant)
Jodi Rheider | Maternal aunt | July 1, 1975         “Anti-vaxer. Vegan. Cunt. Used to get cocktails with Kris Jenner.” Jenna Rheider | Maternal cousin | April 14, 1994         “Brainless twit. And a narc; ratted me out for doing coke only for her mom to do the rest.” Connor Rheider | Maternal cousin | November 2, 1999         “Quirky. Genius. Loves drones. Probably in charge of WikiLeaks.”
Luke Rheider | Maternal uncle | May 4, 1966         “Pretentious. Thinks old money is anything over a year. Football fan. Moron.” Charli Diamond | Maternal aunt-in-law | October 31, 1982         “Second wife. Thinks Luke’s gonna die soon, but she deserves gold. Refused the name.” Bastien Rheider | Maternal cousin | January 28, 1988         “One of the two actually cool people in this family. Sarcastic. Sick. Sweet.” Evie Rheider | Maternal first cousin, once removed | September 12, 2008         “Started sweet, is now fully demonic.”
Paul Blackwood | Paternal uncle | October 6, 1965         “Loudly republican. Loudly terrible. Horrible suits. Still calls me ‘Squirt’.” Charlotte Blackwood (née Gilfrey) | Paternal aunt-in-law | May 10, 1967        “If Ann Coulter was slightly younger and somehow slightly worse.” Kim Blackwood | Paternal cousin | August 1, 1987         “Couture PotteryBarn expert. Insufferable. Screechy. Trend-chaser.” George White | Cousin-in-law-to-be | November 7, 1980         “The manifestation of Kim’s daddy issues. Wedding date is permanently TBD.” Lisa Blackwood | Paternal cousin | April 9, 1989         “Mini-Eliza. Clothing terrorist. Should’ve been aborted.” Salvatore Stracci | Cousin-in-law-to-be | October 22, 1976        “Tall, Italian and scary. Also in a state of perpetual engagement and dissatisfaction.” Alessandro Blackwood | Paternal first cousin, once removed | May 31, 2010         “Had to hold him at a party once. He spat on me.”
Michael Blackwood | Patnernal uncle | May 1, 1967         “I legitimately don’t know if he and Paul are different people.” Natalie Blackwood (née Gainsbourg) | Paternal aunt-in-law | July 1, 1968        “Quiet, but clearly judgmental. Alopecia. Clings to Michael desperately.” Heather Blackwood | Paternal cousin | March 14, 1990         “The only sane woman. Editor at Harper’s Bazaar with Natalie. Goddess. Soul sister.”
Matthew Blackwood | Paternal uncle | Stillborn August 8, 1970
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Dances– The Blackwoods | A Personal Essay (Written pre-parental death).
It was a dance.
It always was, no matter what. No, there was never any music. No stage. No choreography. But conversations with my mother were always an intricate samba on a tightrope.
It could begin at any moment, about anything. Simple small talk about where I went for brunch yesterday morning could turn into a bitchfest about my weight– as if being 110 was something to be ashamed of. The mere presence of an unopened, monthly bank statement could turn into a lecture about financial responsibility– as if she wasn’t surrounded by new, shiny things and maxed out AMEX cards. And, far more recently, a quick, innocent glance at the alcohol cabinet would have me sat down with some professional life coach while she watched, a vodkatini in hand.
Eliza Blackwood (born Eliza Rheider in 1971) was a bitch. An absolute bitch. A wretched, spoiled, high-strung, narcissistic, classist, borderline-anorexic, Valium-addicted, Shalimar-drenched, Kris Jenner-wannabe bitch. She was lucky she came from money, because if she wasn’t, I don’t think she’d be alive right now. I mean, I’m lucky, too, but I’m grateful for what I have.
Her parents were corporate assholes– her dad worked for Goldman Sachs, and his wife was a vapid, shrill, useless little brat not unlike her daughter. And, of course, that unloveable little bitch went and married someone who could satisfy her financial needs and not embarrass the family name– Andrew Blackwood, a New York politician from a family of Wall Street types (Some of whom also worked at Goldman Sachs, which is how the two met). On paper, they were a match made in heaven. A wealthy politician and his obnoxious jetsetter wife.
But, fortunately for me, even though I hadn’t been born quite yet, Andrew was a good, caring man. While Eliza was (and still is) ruthless, selfish and absolutely disgustingly horrible, Andrew had a heart. He cared about people. And things. Which was why he went into politics. He wanted to make a change. While his family was a bunch of wealthy Republicans, he was entirely Democratic, a fact that nearly alienated from them entirely (if only it had actually managed to keep his family out of my life) which is why I’m still in awe that he wound up with a pathetic Paris Hilton knockoff. A politician with a heart of gold wound up with a blue blood twat who measures her love in karats.
But back to her dances.
I’m not entirely sure where they come from. I mean, no matter how much you analyze someone and their family and upbringing and everything, you can’t pin point their personality traits and their behaviors. That said, I think I have a fair amount of clues as to where Eliza’s horrid personality came from.
While her relationship with her mother is mostly concealed to me, their lifestyle was no secret. Eliza always went on about how well she lived as a kid, how luxurious her house was, how high the thread count in the sheets of her crib was, and how she washed her face with caviar or something. But how she got along with her mother was never fully described. I’ve seen hints here and there– a glare across a table at a gala or whispers on the phone. But I don’t know too much. As far as I know, Eliza’s mother– Mrs. Karen Rheider– didn’t even bother to raise any of her three children. I wouldn’t have been surprised had they all been raised by a nanny while Karen went went on living as a trophy wife. But I assume that the two of them, when they did interact, got along the same way Eliza and I do– and that would make it safe to assume Eliza picked up her bitchy words, malicious intentions and passive-aggressive, condescending demeanor from her mother. The family bitchiness is hereditary.
Passive-aggressiveness is definitely a running trait in my family. I see it to an extent on my dad’s side– his brothers and him bicker endlessly, and they seem to show some slight disapproval for his opposing political stance, as if world views are trivial dinner conversation. But it pales in comparison to the Rheider family’s guilt. Aside from me, and my mother, I see it in the rest of the family.
My aunt Jodi, mother of two, is another disgusting person. Like Jenny McCarthy, she refused to vaccinate her kids because she believed it would make them autistic. Her son, Connor, has caught the flu every single year since he was six. The three (including her daughter Jenna) currently reside together at a nudist resort, where the kids were homeschooled… because they lack their immunizations. But that’s kind of besides the point– any time Jodi decides to dress up and sneak out into the world of normalcy, she misses no opportunity to make slick comments that everyone else in the family is living incorrectly. Thankfully, everyone else has mastered the art of clapback.
Eliza’s brother, Luke, and his wife, Charli (a full 16 years younger than him) are an obnoxiously pretentious couple who are all too proud of their FormDecor relationship and all too ashamed of everyone else’s. Luke has a son, Bastien, who he had with his first wife, that’s only 6 years younger than Charli. However, Bastien’s one of the few people on my mother’s side of the family that I actually enjoy. We share similar morals, and gratefulness for what we’ve been given, and spend every single family function together ripping the family apart. It’s a shame they never hear us.
Even the family elders have the same disapproving, condescending disdain for everything that my mom displays. But they’re far too silent around me to reveal anything noteworthy. The most words I’ve ever heard from my great grandmother Dorothy Cross (my mother’s mother’s mother), was scolding Jodi for her nudist colony being racially integrated, so it’s safe to say not much good was going to come from that generation. Fortunately, most of them are dead– Dorothy passed in 2011 (though her husband is still living off of a diamond-encrusted life support machine), and Eliza’s father’s parent’s are both long gone. Three out of Andrew’s four parents are deceased, his mother’s mother Clarissa Pullock (or something like that) is still alive, though I’ve never met her and probably never will– our first interaction will probably be at her funeral where I’m forced to pretend to mourn.
While Eliza’s family is dominated by a vile matriarchy, Andrew’s family has been dominated by powerful men with miniature dicks who made the Blackwood name known very much for investment banking until bank holding companies began to reign supreme, after which the family figured they would be better off in electoral politics. Andrew’s grandfather, Adam Blackwood, worked up a networth of slightly over $1 billion, and while his successors haven’t exactly been slacking, I don’t think any of them are ever going to do as well as him (but at the end of the day, if Andrew decided to have a bonfire using $100 bills as kindling, we’d recover before the fire even went out). Adam had two sons– Matthew and Bernard, and both received their jobs at Wall Street after him in a clear sign of nepotism. Bernard married a real estate agent named Elaine or Elle or something like that and had a million kids– most of which were boys. I don’t know much about them, and I don’t really care to. Matthew married some Janet something and had four kids– Paul (1965), Michael (1967), Andrew (1969), and Matthew Jr. (stillborn in 1970).
Unfortunately for this generation of men, who, unsurprisingly, continued the trend of nepotism and began work at the same place as their ancestors (save for Andrew who stayed in school, exploring his interests), none of them were able to produce any boys to continue the line. Paul was the first to reproduce– shooting out Kim and Lisa in 1987 and 1989, and as soon as the Kardashian sisters came around, they tried their hardest to be them but soon settled with just being their very close friends (and it’s safe to say I can’t stand any of them). Michael had Heather in 1990, and somehow, amidst a family of putrid, selfish monsters, she wound up a tasteful and snarky angel of hope. Like Bastien, we spend our family events together, an unholy trio of stylish black sheep.
And then finally, February 5, 1995, I came around. Eliza and Andrew had been married for about three years, and finally had me. Adam was still alive at the time and was praying for a great grandson– only to be disappointed for the fourth time. Almost as a sign of flippancy towards him, they named me Sam (well, Samantha, but I’ve grown accustomed to Sam and refuse to be called by my full first name unless I’m being charged with something). My mother made my middle name Elizabeth– because she hoped that I would follow in her footsteps. She once said naming me after her was “the biggest mistake” she ever made, which I don’t think is entirely unfair because taking after her is the last thing I ever want to do. And I’ve spent the last twenty-one years learning all of this.
People always say that blood is thicker than water, or whatever. That we’re supposed to stick with our families (over friends, or, well, anything). There’s been some mindset that family comes before all, that you honor your last name above anything and everything. I don’t believe that for one second. As if who happened to bang should determine everything about you. I despise almost all of that. And I won’t claim any of the ones that I don’t like for one second. I’ll take a tango any day. Fuck blood. And fuck the Blackwoods.
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crockercxrp · 4 years
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hc dump time
Jade is definitely the more aggressive of the two and was raised to where like. She knows that even though she and John are both heirs, SHE’S ultimately the one in charge bc... Condescension said Matriarchy.
Like... John will tease you and be an asshole but Jade will straight up kick your ass no hesitation
Given that they were raised by Ms Condescension they weren’t exactly taught to value the lives of others. I wouldn’t say they’re cold blooded killers or anything but they don’t really think it’s that big of a deal, especially if it gets them what they want
Jade is still a softie for animals tho, John is more the type to make a joke out of death bc he’s a bastard 
Fish puns and swearing. They 100% think that’s the proper way to talk, enough said about that. You can’t convince them otherwise 
“ladies and gentlemen, buoys and gills-”
They’re so fucking spoiled it’s not even funny, like... they get whatever they want. Jade probably has like 5 dogs and John buys all the dumbest shit he could possibly spend his money on
“in here in the garage with my new Lamborghini here”
They haven’t really... Been in normal society like, at all. The Condescension homeschooled them and taught them everything they need to know about running a huge corporation and propaganda and all that, and saw no need for them to go to a normal school.
They DO get interviewed by magazines and all that quite a bit though seeing as they’re richer than god and boy do reporters have a field day with how goddamn weird they are 
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tacosandtomcos · 6 years
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Spoiler Review for The Book Of Spells! pt 1
So how this is going to work is i’m going to list fun little facts about each queen and list a brief view of each section. buckle up, it’s gonna be a LONG post!
And since it got so big, this is gonna be a bit of a parter.
So we’re just doing the first three queens here.
The intro is basically glossaryck treating you like the next queen in his glossaryck way, he explains how he was born, and that he created the high commission to be contact points between the queens and realm of magic.
apparently he was literally made to serve the queens, from the moment he was born he was called to help them.
Also his hair is white because of silkworm slime, which can kill you...
also there was a high commission member we haven’t see before: Reynaldo the bald plate, but we’ll get back to him later.
Skywhynne
Fun Facts:
She didn’t believe in the stump
There were 27 queens before skywynne, so this rule has been going on for a LONG time.
middle name was lavender
they seem to say the first queen had a wand summoned to her because of her magic? But then again, that might just be a tale...
her mom was so eager to give up the throne, skywynne became queen at 17, and now her mom lives in a volcano. :p She literally sucks, she thought a book of fashion was more important to save then the book of spells. (Her name was lyric and she had a broom-wand).
The freaking lucitors pulled down half of mewni’s people into the underworld a century ago.
Her mom brought dragons to her wand ceremony, which destroyed everything. The castle was made of wood, some from the stump, so guess how that went? And the old book was destroyed because of it ( That’s the excuse for why we don’t see those 27 other queens). Skywynne started this new book and the castle we know today was being built.
Her mom made her pick fashion for her people to wear, skywynne literally just flipped and picked something random without a care in the world.
Had a make-up wand ceremony with just her parents.....on top of the destroyed castle.
her wand crystal is the clock’s face, and the ringing can be heard by certain creatures.
I think her mom was trying to set her up with Dip Kelpbottom but she just spent a ton of time using magic to kick them out. When she realized time was repeating herself and this was why, it’s what triggered her time powers. She used this to trick everyone into thinking they were building the castle in a day, which was actually 5 YEARS.
She really hated her mom pushing dudes on her, used it to fuel her magic XD
Made food with magic, it literally rained from the sky.It got to a point where it felt like the people of mewni only liked her for making them food to her. . Eventually she stopped doing so which lead to corn. Which scattered more monsters from their homes and made room for crops so her people could feed themselves and the population doubled.
Deleted gravity once.
Invented star’s lasso spell, warnicorn stampeade, and of course the time spell she ended up using.
Opened pandora’s box.
Raised the dead from the underworld for fun. Apparently zombies don’t eat brains but clown zombies do.
Only guy she liked was Sir Gem-Robin, failed to talk to him for four years when he got a gf. Which leads to -
Blew up a dimension using the spell star used to destroy toffee to take out her anger. (Apparently mewni is earth, just you know..another dimension of it). This was how she first dipper down, being pissed at her crush.
when the population doubled they took away more and more monster territory for them to live in, also teaching her people to fight.
She built a school whose title is clearly based off professor Xavier’s school from the X-Men.
After sir gem-robin got divorced, they got together. Also they eloped in a rock dimension surrounded by worms she saved from the dimension she destroyed.
She thought the fire killed gloss by he just spent all those years in the new book eating or on a trip. He has pet bugs living in the book. Skywynne is fond of bugs tho. Jushtin was two by this point and solaria was not even a twinkle in her eye yet, gloss was surprised she had a boy.
Skywynne saw great potential in jushtin, and let him hold her wand at times, thought he’d be a mighty magic wielder and a mighty ruler like her.
Gloss turned rhombulus’s hands into snakes to teach him a lesson....that snakes for hands sucked.
All in all, skywynne was alright, she is rather relatable if you’re one of those people who hate it when your parents pressure you into dating people or get annoyed at people who feel like they use you. She also was the queen that did start a new system and era for mewni.  There’s not a ton to say though she got herself into ALOT of crazy messes on accident.
Jushtin
Jushtin has a new title, he’s no longer “The boy-queen” he’s now known as “The uncalculated”. Not sure what this change was for but it’s not the only change in this book.
Apparently jushtin’s wand is alive.
He likes boy-bands, soda, was friends with a prince called Sazmo, had a crush on his math tutor, oh and we see what may be a spiderbite ancestor in here based on well....the bites. He had a crew which consisted of this spiderbite and his best friend, but also some weird mole man prince and an old man?
Jushtin speaks like he’s some weird gangsta, he has a crew but he spells this like “Tha cru”.  He used “Tha” , “Mah”, “Ma”and “Cur” a lot. And this applies to ALOT of other words he also misspelled because i think he thought it make him sound cool. (He put “Luv u mom” in his intro chapter.).
Wanted to make mewni a destination and put it on the map.
HE USES THE TERM “LIT” OMG.
Jushtin cares about cool cars that make him and his crew cool.
Made a spell to give horses wings? And make your chariot comfy? The punchline is, he literally does the same movement on all his spells.
Him being a math expert is no joke, despite his weird lingo he actually went through the effort to consider the math needed for the horses to lift the carriage.
His mom left him a note letting him know he left the book in a place filled with horse poop. Gloss was scarred for life. His mom wasn’t happy with him and wanted him to take better care of it.
His mom woke him in the middle of the night to let him know he was going to be having a sister and she was gonna take the wand and book. Y’know, considering they live in a matriarchy. Jushtin words this in a way that implies his mom was really sad about this, but she actually was SUPER happy about it. Jushtin pretended she was “Masking the pain” by jumping up and down and being excited.
Jushtin’s chapter was “Understandably since he was queen for like. a year”, short. I’m actually a bit sad we can’t see more but then again his lingo is so ridiculous i got no idea with him. It’s actually really funny for him to speak this way and sound like he’s trying to be a cool gang member, while also speaking math like a genuis. Weird mix.
Jushtin is arguably the most innocent queen in this book, he had no affect on the monsters and though he was very irresponsible i feel bad for him since it’s clear he REALLY wanted to be a ruler.
i actually feel slightly bad also cause it kinda seems like his mom had solaria simply because she lost faith in her son to literally do anything. But then again i dunno how serious he took being ruler based on his short chapter.
Solaria
She speaks like you’d think she’d speak, like a warrior.
Has the same millhorse her mom had so i guess these three shared the same horse.
Solaria made an INDEX on her chapter to see all of her entries. Her chapter could be it’s own book.
Saw monsters this way, why respect them when they don’t respect us? Queens need to expand their reach regardless what the monsters think. She also thought they were jealous and wanted their power.
She thought the past queens let the monsters get away with too much, decided to take this into her own hands. She wanted the monsters right under her thumb and wiped away from the land.
Alphonse the worthy and her tried peace, but war was inevitable when monsters attacked some of their bases. Alphonse was the secretary of the monster peace council.
She met with her council, Alphonse and hekapoo being involved, and they declared war. (Some of these members may be past royals of other kingdoms).
Solaria was losing until she decided they needed a new kind of warrior to drive the monsters back. She found some old spells from the old book  and from old tomes and came up with a solution. She wanted to create a superpowered magical army. (Basically she wanted to make super-soldiers).
Had peasants volunteer for the experimentation of these spells as she learned to weave them together to make her army. These soldiers were called Solarians.
Mina was the first to volunteer to be one. She is endowed with a weapon as powerful as solaria’s wand and it’s terminal to monsters. She became solaria’s most trusted solarian and her age seems to be result of this experimentation. (Not sure about her mind tho?)
Solaria was already allied with the ponyheads by this point, not so much the lucitors yet.
The solarians were successful in driving the monsters back. and they celebrated by burning the dead monsters on a pyre. (This book gets dark).
Soalrias had literally no interest in having a king, so it was just her and eclipsa.
Eclispa ran off to meet a young globgor and solaria thought he kidnapped her (Best way to meet your future in-law). Eclispa hid alot in the caslte and she begged her mom to talk to him but well..solaria of course thinks he’s a slobbering monster who will hurt her. Solara thought she snuck out to find her, but it’s clear she snuck out to see him. She also thinks eclipsa’s sad reaction is because she almost died...and not because she missed globgor and that he might’ve almost died.
Solaria gushes about eclipsa ALOT, about how smart she is and precious she is.
this chick literally has a page on how to kill monsters. The funny thing about his page is these SAME monsters are from eclipsa’s monster dating page, but here they are depicted WAY more evily then eclipsa’s chapter, which probably drew them more accurately. She also thinks they are happier dead, and would advice killing a frog man by cutting him in pieces. (She has no idea how to handle the lizard men properly cause eclipsa figures that out after she’s dead)
She sarcastically “Thanks” rhombulus for crystalizing her mewmans on accident. And provides a way to avoid dealing with that.
Though she was already friends with the ponyheads, she, alphonse, jushtin, and hekapoo worked together to make an alliance with the lucitors and ponyheads to help them in the war. This was successful and was the start of the lucitor-butterfly-ponyhead alliance. This helped them draw the monsters into the woods.
She had NO respect for the monsters, and would not ceasefire for them, she literally wanted to murder them all. She was going to make her wand a super weapon. 
Monsters fights lessened and her talents became less needed. She couldn't get her wand to become a super weapon and she felt like a failure.
She and gloss did not get along, she hated that he was apolitical and suspects he disliked her refusal to ceasefire on the monsters and kept the war going. Solaria thought the monsters would never stop till they took over and made them their slaves.
She kept a drawing eclipsa did at age 7 for her through the whole war as a token.
After her failure on that spell she decided eclipsa should now have the book.
So yeah, solaria has alot on the monster-mewman conflict and has a bunch of lore to think about. We know know why mina is so powerful, though not why she’s crazy. Though i wonder what happened to the other solarians?
And yes, she’s vicious about the monsters during a time of war. And this chapter has a lot of very dark implications and thoughts.
She does very much love eclipsa though, and adored her with all her heart. She seemed to love all her family an awful lot, never spoke bad about any of them.
Alphonse is important, because he’s actually the captain on star’s wall. I’m not kidding, he’s the SAME GUY.
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and keep this in mind cause i’m gonna get back to that in-
PART 2!!
Yeah this post is getting so long we’re gonna have to split this review in a bunch of different sections.
But be patient with me, it’ll be worthwhile as we move onto eclipsa.
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arcticdementor · 3 years
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The Christian Century is a magazine for the senescent liberal Protestant Mainline. When I heard earlier this month that it had published an article exposing the presence of white supremacists at farmer’s markets [UPDATE: Sorry, I forgot to post the link to the piece.— RD], I laughed it off as another example of the dingbat left policing the boundaries. It should not surprise anyone that unsavory people enjoy a delicious tomato as well as the next person. If a Communist or a neo-Nazi enjoys locally grown fruits and vegetables, I can congratulate him on his good taste in food while rejecting his politics. This is called being a grown-up. When this controversy arose in 2019 in Bloomington, Indiana, the adult mayor of that city resisted calls by progressives to kick allegedly white supremacist farmers out of the farmer’s market, saying that as long as the accused vendors were following the law, he was not going to play the role of thought police.
It turns out, though, that the article’s author, a vigilant progressive named Rebecca Bratten Weiss, identifies poor old Self as a gateway drug to the Ku Klux Kale:
“Polite Christian ethno-nationalism”? Golly. I wonder how the neurotic Bratten Weiss figures that. Then again, there doesn’t have to be logic for these people to make a vicious accusation like that. If they feel it — and they are always sniffing out wrongthinkers — it must be true. Do I even need to point out here that she clearly hasn’t read The Benedict Option?
Judging by her self-description on her website, Bratten Weiss has a rich inner life:
She has spoken at various academic and cultural events on topics ranging from Nietzsche’s aesthetics and Bronte’s feminism, to ecology in literature and vulgarity in religion.
Rebecca recently completed work on The Dirt, an eco-feminist novel exploring the impact of the fracking industry on a dysfunctional Ohio family.
She is also in the process of revising The Peacemakers, a speculative literary sci-fi in which women in a near-future matriarchy control men via advanced AI technology.
She is a member of the George Sandinistas, and one of the founders of the Muse Writers Collective.
I had never heard of this unhappy woman until a friend sent me her Christian Century essay last night. Apparently she is a Catholic who has a Patheos blog in which she writes things like this:
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How surprising to learn that she used to be an adjunct teacher of English at Franciscan University of Steubenville. And she is some kind of ecumenist, as we learn from this 2019 essay. Excerpts:
Driving home with a load of hay, listening to Johnny Cash, wondering what I could burn as a sacrifice to Hecate, I start thinking that probably not many women on this road, driving truckloads of hay, and listening to Cash, are also contemplating witchcraft. Does this make me necessarily more interesting? Or is it automatically less interesting, because “being interesting” is a motive force for me? Not the only motive force, but maybe it taints everything it touches, so there’s a certain embarrassingly meta quality about all my love, or curiosity, or revenge.
Meta or not, the desire to burn something as a sacrificial offering is real. Thinking about burning is real. I have a truck full of a combustible material, and my truck is driven by combustion. I’m rumbling along on the cusp of a flame.
Bless her heart, I do not doubt it! More:
The internal combustion engine is insufficient for the goddess, however, and I have no intention of burning the hay. The questions about burnt offerings become pragmatic. Like, where to do it? If I start a fire in the back yard the kids will all come gathering around, asking if they can roast marshmallows. But I can’t just go wandering off into the neighbor’s field and start burning things (or can I?).
Then there’s the question of what to burn. Something I value, or something I hate? Which would Hecate prefer?
If I get the answers wrong, who knows, some solid citizen might call and have them send the firetrucks after me, and then it’s pretty awkward if I’d opted to burn, say, the testicles of some Nazi dudes who just happened to be scampering across my backyard at the right time. When I just happened to have my scythe handy. Oops. Now I have this whole conflagration of testicles to explain.
Even if it’s what Hecate wants, the fact is, when you’re castrating Nazis and burning their balls as an offering to ancient Greek goddesses, people tend not to be very understanding. They’re all “oh, the incivility!” Or “this is why Trump keeps winning.”
Now I’m worried that I went too far there, talking about castrating Nazis. Now I’m worried that I’m not interesting or edgy, but instead the kind of person from whom you instinctively back away.
Anyway, as is often the case with censorious progressives, the witchy Bratten Weiss misses the irony of her condemning right-wing farmer’s market types for their exclusivity, in an essay in which she appears to claim that farmer’s markets should be zealously defended as a safe space for progressives and fellow travelers. Down with fascist eggplant! In fact, she hates localism itself, if localists are anything other than progressives:
Uh oh! People like Bratten Weiss ruin everything. When I wrote Crunchy Cons back in the mid-2000s, I was delighted to draw attention to people like the fundamentalist Christian family in north Texas who raised meat organically because they believed that was the best way to honor God’s Creation. There’s a quote in the book from the patriarch who says how surprised he was to discover that he had more in common with some hippie organic growers than he did with fellow Christian Republicans who lived a more conventional suburban life. Funny, but these folks weren’t threatened by the progressives who shared their love of organic, small-scale agriculture, and neither were the progressive small farmers threatened by them. They found common ground, and even solidarity. I guess Bratten Weiss, who is two tics away from a gran mal seizure, would want to cut the balls off the fundamentalist family’s sons and sacrifice them to a pagan goddess or something.
Bratten Weiss may be a Catholic, but she is definitely a Puritan. I was recently talking with a wealthy conservative white Catholic friend from the South who was explaining to me his discovery of the value of localism. He and his wife bought some land in the historically black part of their town, and are using it to help their black neighbors build community. They let black folks and others use the land for a farmer’s market, and for meetings between black community leaders and the local police, to build closer relationships (he showed me a photo on his smartphone of a recent gathering). He told me that even as relations between the black community and police in other parts of the country have grown worse, they have strengthened in his town, because it turns out that a lot of black people there don’t hate the police; they just want better policing. He talked about a woman black pastor in his town who makes this work of community-building possible. And he talked about long-term plans to restore what was once a thriving commercial sector of black-owned businesses.
My friend said that he has grown disillusioned with national politics, and now focuses on building up localism. This guy is very conservative. I’m guessing that his black woman pastor friend is … not. But they work together because they both want to make the town they share into a better place for them all to live. If Bratten Weiss showed up in their town, she would no doubt do her best to drive these two apart to purify the movement. People like that — and we have them on the Right too — are so exhausting. They are the kind of people from whom you instinctively back away. Unfortunately, they hold a lot of cultural and institutional power right now in America. Which is a big reason that we are in such a mess.
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