#I practice mindfulness and I've made learning social skills a fucking hobby
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When am I allowed to just give up on being a better person?
#I'm constantly trying to fix myself#I've been through so much therapy#I practice mindfulness and I've made learning social skills a fucking hobby#And yet I have not had a friendship that lasted for more than three years and my family barely remembers I exist#Acting like I'm the problem hasn't fixed anything#When can I just give up?#How do you give up?#I'm not asking to be loved#I'm just trying to get through the day
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Hello, I don't have nod but I get so pissed when people pretend empathy is an inherent human trait, cause as someone who is autistic and was often deemed "emotionless" EMPATHY IS A FUCKING SKILL, and like all skills it can take years to learn, years of practice and you have to continually excersize it and challenge yourself so you don't get rusty.
I was shit at empathy as a little kid, I made people uncomfortable and was often callous and a bit of an asshole, but books, autobiographies, story time YouTube videos and me trying to talk to more people taught me what was appropriate behaviour and how to relate to others, because those resources basically explained what goes inside people's heads, something I would imagine is tough for a lot of people to understand.
It wasn't until I was 11 that I realized that my brother just had as much of rich inner life that I had after we had an hour long conversation about angry birds
Why do people think little kids are such violent little shitheads, because they haven't learnt empathy yet.
The adult people who lack / have stunted empathy are either people who didn't NEED to learn empathy due to privilege, or MORE OFTEN people who didn't learn due to social isolation, whether due to trauma or autism in my case, in which they aren't exposed to enough people and end up taking a lot longer to learn
Absolutely.
Any social skill is a learned skill after all. No one starts their life with an innate understanding of how to be around other people.
Like, I'm a person who struggles with the opposite problem. I'm overly sympathetic, but even in my case, that wasn't always the case. I have very clear memories of me making some extremely blunt and insensitive remarks when I was a child for the simple fact that I hadn't really learned that skill yet.
I also think that people often don't really know what the words they use mean?
I've seen a lot of people describe empathy as "feeling what another person feels" which is actually incorrect. That one is sympathy, and from personal experience talking to people a lot of people don't have that one. Or they have it, but it's limited to sympathy toward those they know and have an emotional attachment to. And for good reason honestly, if you had to apply sympathy in any and all situations where you require empathy you'd be an emotional mess all the time, I would know.
Empathy, as you pointed out, basically means to understand what the other person is feeling, without necessarily feeling it yourself. And that can be nothing BUT a learned skill because understanding anything from a logical point of view is something you need to learn. With socialization and sometimes, if you struggle, with extra resources in this case.
I feel like a lot understand very very little when it comes to psychology (and, mind you, I'm not an expert either, I just do read stuff on it as a hobby) and, because of that, they get scared by the Big Words they do not understand and often end up demonizing people with personality disorders because of it. Which sucks.
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If you're still doing these, could I get a 🎫 concert ticket for Harry Potter and Once Upon A Time?
Glad to have found your blog!!!
I'm Lucifer, but people call me Luci or Luce, I'm 21 (22 in September), I identifiy somewhere around the nonbinary category, but I see gender as something trivial. I'm a panromantic demisexual and prefer they/her pronouns. 6'3 tall, long wavy blonde hair, black eyes. I wear glasses and usually skirts with old band t-shirts (that I actually listen to).
I always have a bunch or rings around my fingers as well as multiple ear piercings. I'm super pale, to the point that people often ask me if I'm sick.
I'm introverted, but I can be a social butterfly if required. I love listening as much as talking. I never really talk about emotions/feelings but anything else I'mhappy to chat about. I don't really react to things apart from my facial expressions. The lift of an brow, a smirk or an eye-roll will let you know how I feel about things without verbal confirmation. I'm always calm and collected, and my voice stays monotonous no matter what ; I don't stutter, yell or scream.
I'm highly intelligent and very sarcastic, and rarely laugh outloud, but smirk a lot. I might come across as rude and blunt but on the inside I am a softie, just don't show it often.
I love literature (especially classic), arts and learning languages (I currently speak 18). I'm also musically very inclined. I study History and mythology. When it comes to hobbies, I read and collect lots of things things such as lighters, tarot cards, night lights, rocks/crystals and books.
I have four siblings and am the oldest, but I don't really keep in touch with my family that much. I have a few good friends (2 or 3) and I don't even really need much more.
I'm a Virgo, Slytherin and INTJ-A if that tells you anything.
I'm not athletic in the least, but am in good shape. My body is an hourglass figure and I also got a bunch of tattoos.
I have a bad habit of smoking, and usually having a glass of scotch or wine with me (but I never get drunk or even tipsy). I love spending time near water, but hate getting wet. I usually take long walks outside after midnight while listening to creepypastas or true crime podcasts. I love the genre horror overall, yet I rarely get scared. The only thing I'm scared of is being scared if something. And Santa Claus (<-- no idea as to why).
If I were to go on an ideal date, it'd hopefully be something original and not the cheese classics, but I wouldn't mind them either. I just want to experience new things.
I don't really celebrate holidays (e.g. Christmas, Ester) since I was raised in an atheist/witchcraft household.
If I still might add something, when it comes to relationships I'm never overly dramatic. I don't, as previosuly mentioned, yell or really even cry. I don't get frustrated or suspicious easily. If I see any inclination that my partner might be e.g. cheating on me, I ask them about it directly and will absolutely under no circumstanses go through their phone, computer or start stalking them.
You wanted 3 random things, here :
1. I can't cook shit, I have set spaghetti on fire, cracked a pan in half and blown up a microwave.
2. I'm very unpredictable, but at the same time I like to stick to certain routines etc.
3. I've had my hair dyed more times that I can count with more colors than I know how to name.
Uhhh, I think that's all? I hope you have a good day :)
(🎫) CONCERT TICKETS - get a platonic or romantic ship/match-up from the fandom of your choice (max. two) along with a shirt headcanon
JOIN MY 4K FOLLOWER CELEBRATION
I ship you with....
Peter Pan
- Arriving on Neverland, in hindsight, was a mistake. Magic beans while very reliable were prone to mistakes every so often and so instead of appearing in the Enchanted Forest, you were on the beach of a large island. And what was the most odd of all, was not the strange feeling you felt upon arriving on the island, but the pair of eyes you could practically feel staring at you from the trees. Hoping that it was just an animal of some sort, you walked off the beach and headed to the path through the forest.
- Unfortunately for you, the feeling lingered, following you almost as you walked through the forest. Tall trees lined the path and every once in awhile you’d see some small animals scurry away. What seemed to stand out the most however were the silhouettes standing off in the side, deep within the trees but standing right below the sunlight for you to see clearly. There was four, than five, than six than......only one. Looking at your surroundings, you saw your footprints in the ground before you and it hit you. You’d been walking in circles the whole time and the silhouette was still there.
“Hello?” You called out, not sure as to whether or not the silhouette really was there.
Without a verbal response, the figure disappeared only to reappear a few feet in front of you.
You jumped back in shock but quickly regained your balance as you studied the person before you. It was a boy, looking to be around your age, with a questioning look on his face as he looked at you. “Who are you?”
“I could ask you the same question.”
“I asked you first!”
“And I’m in charge of this island!”
“You? In charge of an island? What is this Neverland?” You rolled your eyes at the possibility. Neverland was a place made up so that kids could fall asleep. Not a real place that you could visit.
“Yes it is, and I run things around here so tell me, who are you.” The boy replied, emphasizing his last three words as he spoke.
“As if, what’s next? You call your little Lost Boys to come prove to me?” You scoffed. To believe that you were on Neverland was already too much and all you wanted was to get home to the Enchanted Forest but it seems you’re stuck playing pretend with a boy who doesn’t want to grow up. A shame really
Smirking, the boy simply pressed two fingers to your forehead and before you could even say something, your mind went foggy and your vision was filled with black.
- To say you got off on a rough start was an understatement. The two of you were constantly at each other’s neck while he kept you on the island, the camp specifically, and didn’t let you leave due to belief that you were a spy of some sorts. Not that he had anything to hide. Not yet at least.
- As time went on however, the two of you had begun to form a friendship. It wasn’t anything big or odd, but it was definitely new. He’d be less of an ass to you and let you explore the island on your own (with some exception).
- Upon finding your out about your hobbies, he would discreetly try to surprise you with materials to help you engage in them even if Neverland’s magic still had some restrictions. He would still try to the best of his abilities.
I also ship you with....
Blaise Zabini
- Losing was one thing Blaise never took lightly. Competitive he was but even with his ambition and skill, it was the mundane things that revolved around luck that often made him lose. Like the stupid bet he made with Theo on whether Gryffindor would win or lose where the loser would have to make a full four course meal complete with drinks for all the Slytherins in their year. Unfortunately for him, he had lost unlike Gryffindor and now here he was, spending his Saturday afternoon in the kitchens and a cookbook Pansy had given him “to help”.
- Blaise didn’t know what he’d see upon entering kitchen. He was sure to see a few House Elves, perhaps he could ask them for help, but what he didn’t except was to see you standing in front of the stove with a pot spilt cleanly in half somehow and a fire burning below. And to make matters worst, you were simply standing there as if you had been frozen.
“Hey watch out!” He called out as a flame went up towards you. Pushing you out the way just in time, he managed to save you from the burn in return of him getting burned.
“Fuck.” He hissed out in pain. Gripping his arm as he put out the fire with his wand before dropping it on the ground.
Without a word, you simply grabbed your wand and waved it above his burn. You seemed to be muttering something, a spell of some sort, as a cooling sensation covered his wound. Looking down, he was shocked to see that the burn was actually healing.
“How, how did you.... Thank you.”
“I was practicing a charm, fire control, but thank you for the concern.”
Feeling sheepish for thinking that you didn’t have it under control, he ended up excusing himself from the kitchen to head back to his dorm where his friends immediately pounced on the chance to tease him for a variety of reasons.
- The next day, instead of going to Hogsmeade with his friends, Blaise stayed back at the castle to catch up on a paper he had failed to submit on time. Deciding on going to the library, sh was disappointed to see that almost all of the tables were taken. All but one in the far back corner. Quickly heading towards it, a sigh left his lips as someone dropping their book bag into the table beat him to the table: you.
“Oh did you need the table? I can leave if you’d like?”“ You said upon noticing him standing in front of the table.
“No, no it’s alright I just uh, planned on finishing a paper for Flitwick’s class.” He admitted.
“You can have a seat if you’d like, I’ll just be doing my own work and you can do yours.” You kindly offered and Blaise gladly accepted. He really need to finish this paper or else he’s be kicked off the Quidditch team so while he didn’t get the complete privacy he originally wanted, he’s fine with this.
As the two of you worked in quiet, occasionally Blaise would sneak glances your way which you ended up catching once.
“Hi.” was all you managed to muster out as you tried to contain the wide smile that wanted yo grow on your face.
Trying his best to not chuckle at your slightly flustered state, he mirrored your smile as he replied with a “Hello.”
#you didn’t mention romantic or platonic so i just made it platonic#long post#jens record shop#jens 4k follower celebration#(🎫) concert tickets#marvelousluci
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