#I need to be put down atp
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i have so many inappropriate things to say rn..
#mat barzal#new york islanders#going absolutely feral for this man#like foaming out the mouth might have rabies kind of feral#i need to be put down atp
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I love playing a fun lil game with my blood sugar called ‘how low can you drop until the room starts spinning and colors start making sound?’
#cherry chats 🍒#cw medical#lil rant cause who tf else am I gonna complain to#I was diagnosed w type 2 diabetes right after I got c-vid#bc sweets were the only food I could tolerate for three months afterwards + it runs in my family#but the problem is that I eat one meal a day if that and iced coffee#and my dumbass dr prescribed me 2000mg of the meds I’m on#and when I take it#it drops waaay too low#and I’m sick and exhausted for the whole day#but when I skip it for like a week#I’m sick also#I need to be put down atp
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"Why dont you just post it on twitter? Like a normal person?" SO YOU DONT SEE IT 😭😭 WHICH ONE OF YALL TOLD HIM TO CHECK TUMBLRRR
It's alr i get a huge ego boost seeing he laughed at it and liked it, but the fact my most crack ass art got a 2x2 frame in sdmp berd museum is causing my irl death
#i need him put down#i need to remove myself from the internet atp#kind of saved my skin that he didnt read my @#i cant be known for this#₍₍ㅤ💉ㅤ♱₊ㅤ reblogsㅤ⊃#₍₍ㅤ🫀ㅤ♱₊ㅤ my postsㅤ⊃#useless post#sdmp#berd#sdmp berd#jerd#berd clip#berd fanart#berdboi
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Can someone assure me it's okay that I haven't finished any drawings in over a week 😭😭
#apathy :)#its like. impossible to assure myself its okay to take a break#yknow you see other people post so frequently#and you somewhat feel like you're falling behind#i cant keep up waugh#lol tho i wonder if I'll have a sudden desire to draw once finals week starts in a couple weeks#i assure you that when i have to work on a bunch of big assignments#my brain will suddenly be like DRAW DRAW DRAWK#its just annoying when you have a good amnt of freetime and you cant kick your brain into gear#I've been sketching but ahhhh just a lot of concept stuff#i have an idea for a chibi comic but i want to pair it w a full drawing#so uhhh thats never happening dhfjkg not happening for a bit ig#i need to come up w more chibi comics#easier and faster to draw and they dont kill me :)#it just feels lesser idk why#tumblr is my diary atp sry djfkkglg#i used to write down on paper or my notes app when i was in a bad mood#but god that shit is sooooo bitter and i cant reread it at all#theres smth about knowing im putting myself out there that keeps it a bit calmer#and it feels more comforting :)#catie.rambling.txt
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damian priest - raw, march 18 2024.
this was a lowkey hands and arm appreciation post for him… oh to be held in a submission 🥹🖤
#atp i need this man to keep going#so bad#help me#when will someone put me down?#wwe#wwe raw#wwe smackdown#wwe edit#damien priest#damien priest edit#the judgement day#judgement day#rhea ripley#finn balor#dominik mysterio#jd mcdonagh#world wrestling entertainment
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so fucking losing it over the fact i cannot contribute to media. WHO WANTS TO GIVE ME EUTHANASIA SOUP !!!!!!!!! god
#can’t draw bc I Don’t Feel Like it. can’t write because i Do Not Feel Like It. what else to do but be put down#need to start learning how to like. crochet atp IM SO MAD
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whoever it was that thought up the lyrics "youre in harms way / im right behind" did it for the winteroe culture
#i need to be put down like a rabid dog or a lame horse i think#my brain is a one trick pony atp and the trick isnt even that cool. okay the winteroe parallels guardian angels of it all. and? what else?#^ you get what you give by the new radicals btw#wn
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i'm theorycrafting my dungeon meshi au for ahri and honestly it's kind of hilarious thinking about her in that world because. yeah, she'd eat everything and anything. absolutely zero qualms about consuming monsters. in fact, i think she loves it. no culinary innovation, either, just gobbling up dungeon creatures who roam into levels they shouldn't.
i think she inadvertently manages the ecosystem of some level really far down by doing this, while also caring for the monsters who stabilize things.
#𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 ⠀⠀(⠀ⅰ.⠀)⠀⠀𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑:⠀⠀ಇ⠀⠀oh-kae!#i definitely have thoughts that i'll put together#once an adventurer who had a partner she was in love with?#definitely a mage; one who practiced dark magic at that.#i think something happened and she was forced to eat him.#mayhaps cursed a long long time ago and now she eats monsters and consumes lingering spirits?#i think her curse gives her some magical method of intaking new spirits and turning them into a surplus of mana.#and she's endlessly mana hungry.#/but/ i need to read more of the manga and craft out some ideas.#she's definitely been in the dungeons for a /long time/ and is a bit of a folk tale atp.#not many make it down as far as she is and less make it out.#also! her level is definitely a misty and sprawling dark wood that is thriving with colorful plants and creatures#against the backdrop of a dark and dim and foggy wood.#very ethereal and mysterious.
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#chat#literally some of my favorite in game screenshots like. i love them 🙄 and miss them#been thinking abt how skip doesnt even like him tbh and is using him honestlyy.#NOT PURPOSEFULLY MY SKIP IS NOT like. some evil mastermind literal example of a loser that exists but. it#like. it doesnt take much to turn don out#and if dons throwing all this attention this way he may as well take advantage itd be mean not tooo you know?#ATP I NEED TO PUT THIS DOWN SOMEWHERE MY BRAIN AND MY TUMBLR TAGS R BASICALLY MY GDOCS 😭
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I had another p!rnstar reiner fic planned but it might get me put on a watchlist tbh. Like the thoughts were very much diabolical
#cherry chats 🍒#reiner brainrot#like I need to be put down atp#aot x black reader#I still might do it
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imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here
i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual
#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?)#bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad#i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off#i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn'#bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding#and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him)#and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp#so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random#7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like#being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have#at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory#that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know#meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane#I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do#the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw#and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐#and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc#and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us'#&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night#if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?'#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)#i'm schizophrenic 🤷♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that#you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy#and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou#i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and#'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm.#and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO)#and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa?????#right when i get back into him???#it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy
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wait would kon be aware of other ppl's heartbeats yet in 1999....
#my thots#i dont think so? not rlly clear on how his powers progress over time <- putting off reading tt o3 -> but i dont think so yet#cos hes just got ttk and atp he's mostly using it to seem super strong and fly etc#u can tell im in math bc im buckling down to write fic#i do rlly like this prof actually hes great#the weird burn things are getting bigger btw i have Mystery Cream in my dorm i might try putting on them when i get back#but thatll be a while yet bc. in class + need to record (takes a While)#ficposting
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fallen prey to saying stupid shit on the internet without thinking and coming off as incredibly rude and insensitive. i feel sick to my stomach. never commenting on anything else ever again. deserve to be squashed under someone’s shoe and ground into powder. in all seriousness this has shocked me so much that i am quitting every platform but tumblr for however long it takes for me to get some sense knocked into my dumb fucking skull
#actually considering deleting the clock app rn#what i said was so so bad and it could’ve been avoided if i’d fucking READ WHAT I WROTE and thought abt it FOR ONE GODDAMN MINUTE#i genuinely feel like i’m going to throw up being seen (fairly. justifiably) as mean is like the worst thing#and i don’t deserve to be wining abt this bc i’m the one who hurt someone but good god#PLEASE make sure that when you say something online you would SAY IT TO THEIR FACE#ive gotten to used to this brusque rude dark humor on the internet that i don’t relaizw using that humor INDISCRIMINATELY WITH STRANGERS is#Not okay#they made a video on it but the video got taken down so i deleted the comment. which might have been more selfish. i don’t know what’s best#-to do in that situation? i’m going to change my fucking username and pfp atp and go off the app entirely because i’m so fucking adhd ames#**ashamed don’t know why is autocorrected to that#ok just deleted the app ‘and all of its data’ so idk if that means my videos (edits) too but atp whatever#maybe it’s impulsive but at least this way i will not know what’s going on ! and never hurt anyone again hopefully. i really hope he saw my#-comments before his response was deleted because i want them to know it was not intentional and i am truly so so sorry#i don’t know how i’m going to function for the rest of the day. i’m going to think about this when i go to sleep for the rest of my life#i feel sick#i’m evil#and being evil isn’t fun silly times it literally makes me want to throw up from how bad i am#too much ranting in the tags and i deserve to be fucking shot in the mouth#but i need somewhere to put this that no one will see this but that is also public so that someone might see and know how sorry i am#feel like fucking bojack horseman#unironically how am i supposed to go on living. how can i live knowing i’m so bad. if i don’t kill myself im being selfish because i’m mak-#-omg everyone deal with my presence and live with a bad person.#i think i’m going too social media entirely except for tumblr maybe bc i can’t or don’t rly talk to anyone on here#i need someone to like give me a good meaning but not in a cathartic way in a way that it genuinely hurts so bad and makes me feel the full#suffering i deserve
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Miguel with a choking kink is canon btw🥳
IT BETTER BE i need this mf to choke me tf out my god
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truly no feeling quite like getting rejections on two of my job applications, refreshing my email inbox and then seeing a third one pop up
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Uncharacteristically upset about The Disabilities tonight. Thought I was over this by now. What the fuck
#why could I not have been born fucking normal. or at the very least had all this shit set on later#why could I not have had actual good doctors who didn't let me get so sick I'm now permanently fucked up forever bcuz of it.#I'm so tired of going to bed every night wondering if I'll have a heart attack because my chest hurts and is squeezing and I Know it's-#-from my ribs but if it Was my heart I'd never know. and my heart doesn't work properly anyways.#I'm tired of needing to lay down after I do basic fucking things like take a shower or washing one dish#I'm sick of wanting to go outside or run or dance and not being able to anymore#I'm so sick of not being able to go to class or draw or play video games bcuz my neck seizes up after too long#I'm sick of always being in pain.#I'm sick of being sick.#I'm so over this shit dude. there is no god because surely one of them would've had enough mercy to fucking kill me before all this#fucking Christ dude I'm so fucking done with all of this bullshit. I need to be put down or some shit#and what's worse is I know I comparatively don't even have it that bad. so I have no reason to be as upset as I am.#I'm royally fucked up but not enough to actually matter.#armchair speaks#vent post#I mean fucking hell dude. my parents were gonna have me terminated bcuz the doctors thought I was gonna have birth defects#they probably wish they'd gone thru with it atp. can't say I'd blame em either
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