#I may be an overthinker but idc these are important issues | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gettothestabbing · 2 months

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Relationship Doubts and Venting

For context, I've never had a long-term relationship before. I was technically 'with' a guy for two years, but after 6 dates our first month, I had to move, and so only saw him twice more in person after that. He insisted on EMAIL communcation only. So we essentially made no progress on actually getting to know each other.

So now, I've been with my current boyfriend for 5 months, and have known him for 6. We met on a dating app. We find each other very attractive, we're both conservative and want multiple children, we're both deadset on no sex before marriage, and we get along quite well. I enjoy being around him, and I've introduced him to my church and my coworkers on different occasions, starting from our first month together.

But on our last date, he started asking me questions about how my denomination handles weddings and what I would like my own wedding to be like. I was honest about what I liked, and finished by saying I wasn't ready to be engaged yet. But from things he's said, I have a feeling he's decided that I'm the one and is only waiting until I say something similar back to make it official.

That's so exciting, and flattering, and yet I know I'm not ready for it.

I still have a lot of concerns and unknowns about him. In no particular order, please enjoy all my concerns:

1: I still haven't met any of his family. We almost went bowling with his sister but she had a last-minute scheduling conflict. He's been living with his brother for several years, but he didn't even tell that brother about me yet. He says this brother is just very quiet and that they aren't close. But they've lived together for over 10 years, and my BF drives an hour EACH WAY to see me for every date. Where does the brother think he's going?

2: We never go to his area, partly because my work schedule is much less forgiving than his. This also means I've never seen his bedroom or home, including pictures. I've asked about this more than once, and he kinda dismisses it, saying it's just nicer to be in my area/house.

3: He's eight years older than me. I'm okay with the age gap in theory. In practice, we definitely grew up in very different eras and families. He's one of five kids, and I'm one of two sisters. I think he was harshly disciplined, and he indicated that he would physically discipline any children he has, though he added caveats restricting that discipline to certain behaviors from boys over the age of 15. But it still concerned me, because it wasn't coming from a place of "last resort" so much as from a place of "I got this so he would too."

Similarly, we don't agree on circumcision. His arguments for it consisted of "I was," "it's ugly otherwise," "he'll be bullied if he doesn't get it," and "there are some slight health benefits I think."

4: He was raised Catholic. I don't have an issue with Catholics generally, but I have known of several Catholic-CS couples who did not work out because of the vast denominational differences. I've also been personally warned by more than one CS woman of marrying a Catholic man, because they were prevented in their marriages from practicing their faith by their own Catholic husbands. TBF to my BF, he doesn't seem like he would be this kind of husband, but I don't know for sure because he doesn't seem to understand how different our beliefs actually are?

While my BF says he is looking for a new denomination, he's fundamentally incurious about other denominations, including my own. It seems like he is only looking to leave Catholicism because of political disaffection with Pope Francis and not because of an actual theological disagreement. He did Lent this year same as he ever did. He even admitted to not knowing the difference between Catholic and Protestant beliefs. He thought Peter wrote one of the Gospels (and he went to Catholic schools all his life).

It's just baffling to me that he isn't really interested in learning about different theologies and practices, while still claiming that he IS interested. It's words with no action following. I keep trying to show him stuff about my Bible study or my church. He's gone to a few services with me, but he never wants to talk about the content after. He just says the people there are nice.

Occasionally he makes jokes about wearing cult robes or bringing a goat to sacrifice to my church. This is because CS is often excluded from mainstream interfaith discussions and derided as a cult. Obviously, it's not a cult by any definition. I'm sensitive about this sort of joke, as not only do I truly hate cults like Scientology (for which we are also mistaken a lot unfortunately) and what they do to good people, but I was teased and bullied for my religion several times as a child and teenager.

5: Really, more than anything else, it's the incurious nature that concerns me. I'm not wealthy or an elite or anything, and never will be at my income level. But I do deeply value education, art, and learning. These are the things my family values too. I don't think I can be with someone permanently who doesn't value those things. I don't want to be overly pushy or self-centered either: it's not as if I want someone who only likes the stuff I like. But I don't want to only have small talk forever.

The few times we've had deeper discussions, he ends them as fast as possible, and his statements are rather vague and disconnected. While I wish we did agree on circumcision as an issue, I was more concerned with how poorly he defended his opinion, as well as how dismissive he was of my thoughts. I mean, I guess since I'm not a guy my opinion doesn't matter as much? But my arguments weren't about personal experience, but about empirical evidence and psychological studies. Idk. I regretted that conversation a lot; I got into lawyer-mode and was too blunt. For a few weeks afterward, he seemed like he was upset, but when I asked, he insisted he wasn't and that he didn't care. He also became more vulgar in our conversations after that. I had to ask him to scale it back.

None of these things individually are "dealbreakers". I'm not afraid of compromise and of us being our own people. But we do need to know some big things about each other and come to some important agreements before I would be ready to get engaged to him.

I'm hoping that when he meets my dad and stepmom next week, that will give me further insight. Good kissing and political agreement alone cannot a good marriage make.

#I'm not really looking for advice here though if you have some I'll try to take it well #I mostly needed to vent here because the person I usually vent to is busy rn with her own stuff #I may delete this in a day or two as well #pers com #I may be an overthinker but idc these are important issues #personal

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taegularities · 1 year

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My Drabble review🤭:

Idk why but my heart swelled reading the first few lines bc I missed the warmth of their relationship/friendship and even though it’s only a flashback, it’s given me sm hope that they can overcome this issue and really be together all in😢.

When it’s mentioned that oc was reluctant to go home and would rather over something silly w jk really interest me because now I’m thinking about how long ago did she start really becoming fond of him🤔 ofc they’re hooking up and stuff and she’s stressed and wants a release, but I would usually go hang w one of my closer friends than my newly fwb yk??: “But you genuinely did not notice how late it was — between studying and going out for a late night snack alone, time passed. It does quickly when you’re reluctant to go home.”

“If you peeked long enough, you bet you could see his perked, brown nipples, right there on his firm, hard pecs.” SAME GIRL SAMEEEE🌚

No idc what anyone says, they may have started as friends w benefits, but I feel like there always has been lingering feelings oc felt, but just didn’t want to admit to bc all the little habits he has that usually annoy her from anyone else, but she can tolerate (can I say even loves) coming from him like cracking his fingers nonstop?? It may not be important, but there was more than just sexual tension between them idk🫸

Ik OC loves arguing just for the sake of it bc she was really anticipating bantering back and forth w JK (ik this is her type of foreplay😭😭): “I’ll tell her to regrade my paper. Make me fail the class. Will you be happy then?’…You say nothing. You hadn’t anticipated this.”

“Even if,” you tell him, “it’s none of your business.” I know OC’s life is more in the public eye and stuff and they had just got to know each other, but they both have some deep traumas that they’re reluctant to tell each other and i know this Drabble is still from when they first started hooking up, I wonder if there’s still anything now that OC hasn’t told JK??

“Listen,” he cards his fingers through his hair, and the strands fall back into his face so beautifully.” Just imagining this omg I’m so down bad for JK😞🥲🩷🩷🩷

“You came because you want me, and that’s driving you crazy.” It’s a bold statement. But it makes you hold your breath. “Because you think about it way too much.” Ok now who told him to examine it this much🙄🙄🙄 this only means he overthinks situations too and thinks about HER WAY TOO MUCH AS WELL😊 but he really got her speechless w that😭😭

“Yeah, yeah, you're an enigma. One that definitely doesn't like it when I do this, right?” Without a warning, rendering you speechless, he touches your thigh. Journeys down to your knee. “Should I stop?” This was so smooth I’m speechless. I have no thoughts just a *** *****😵‍💫

“Dark, starry. Tender yet dangerous. Luring you in on purpose, so you're trapped.” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵��💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 your descriptions will be the end of me omggg

Ok wait I’m rethinking my earlier statement now because they weren’t even FWB when the Drabble started, so she definitely felt something for him w just plain old hookups huh🤔

I really wonder what happened at that frat party that made them never forget it and stick together for so long. Most of the time frat parties are places where you can’t remember a thing after it’s over, but this night single-handedly changed the course of their relationship and I feel like it’s way more deeper than just a hookup (idk I like to be dramatic)

“And when he grips your hair out of the blue, you gasp, noses almost clashing when he pulls you to his face, and he interrupts, “Stop fucking doubting me for once. It’s exasperating.” Didnt even start the smut yet but I need more aggressive JK>>>>>>>

“Tilting his head, he deepens the sloppy kiss with a hum, breathing whenever possible as you let tiny, yet innocent whimpers into his mouth. The wet noises of the kiss stir your mind, his entire being reckless when his palms shift to your ass.” Omg my ***** is ** *** * can’t ******* I’m not ******* ** *** I’m going crazyzyzyayx😂😂😂😂😂😂

“you’ve ruined any other pussy for me.” The most iconic line of CMI EVER🌚🌚

“…Can’t mess with anyone anymore because of this gem you’ve got.” You don’t know whether he sounds angry or overwhelmed by lust. “Will never come across anything better.” I just melted wtf omg🫠🫠🫠

“Beautiful and inviting. Thick, towering, even when not fully hard. The tip is glistening with precum, veins spreading along the length… and there’s a mole on his dick, right at the base.”🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

“Protection is never a hundred percent, but this is new. The way it splits in half when you want to roll it over his dick, draping over your hand like a ruined glove. You glance at it with wide eyes, up to him, then back to it again, and then curse, “Fuck.” THE CONDOM RIPPING HAS ME CRYING😭😭😭 ONLY THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM AND CAUSE EVEN MORE STEAMY SEX

I can’t wait for the day we get the frat party reveal because I genuinely want to know how fucked up OC got to not even remember a thing😭😭😭 and like how those events led us here because we can’t even rely on ole girls memory to help us out🙄🙄

“…but he surprises you when you start moving, holding your thighs in place as he says, “Wait. Not yet. Just wanna… Just a bit…His forehead lazily falls against your shoulder for a second, and you brush along his arms, feeling the bicep” cockwarming🥹🥹🥹 oh how I love cockwarming❤️❤️❤️ lmfaoaoaoa no but this made me melt again seriosuly🫠🫠🫠

“Nothing. You’re just. So pretty.” The praise is sudden; it’s not quite unusual for him, because you know he finds you pretty.” I miss them sm the angst is hurting me😭😭😭 they are so in love it hurts #rip⭐️

“his teeth running along your jaw, down to your tits until he’s sucking in a sensitive nipple. A strong hand palms your boob from below, pushing it up, lighting up your veins.” I think I’m the biggest sucker for tittysucking idk 🤷‍♀️ it just seems the second most intimate after cockwarming during sex for me🤷‍♀️🤓

“Take his hand from your hip and bring it to your mouth, pushing two fingers in that he previously had knocked into your cunt…Diligently, with quiet, low hums, you suck them clean, biting back your moans, different from him voicing endless groans.” I lied I’m an even bigger sucker for fingerlicking/sucking🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Anal tease…🤭🤭🤭

“You’re…” He gulps, stalling for a moment. “You're beautiful.” He’s down even worse omg. They have such passionate sex it’s borderline “making love” and no one can deny that!

“The truth is that you’re more than okay being here. Other options aren’t as gratifying, and this… he… takes your mind off things. He might be tiresome once in a while, but his place is inviting.” My babys🥲🥲🥲🥲

“Jungkook’s climax is nothing you’ll ever get used to. A phenomenon each time. So vocal, so pretty, deep dimples of focus in his cheeks, a hard jaw. Flexing muscles. Rapid breathing when he’s finally empty.” ** ***** ** *********!!! #rip⭐️

The shower scene🥲 they’re so domestic and cute and this is just the beginning of their relationship I can’t wait for what’s next🤭🤭🤭

I literally am realizing how much I love your smut like wtf you’re a beast omgggg #myfav

This was such a good Drabble and sorry for taking so long to send this in, life🙄🙄🙄 but I’m going to reread this again right after sending it and it was such a cute distraction from the mess that is now CMI7.5 (review coming soon🫠) I loved sm rid thank u for always putting ur all into the work you release for us❤️❤️❤️

-⭐️

I COULDN'T FIND THIS REVIEW IN MY INBOX ANYMORE, like i got so fkn scared but it came back when i refreshed 😭 tumblr why phew

this drabble was definitely a way to escape the reality we're seeing right now. there's so much comfort between them, and that's kind of why i teared up writing it? like there's no angst at all in this one, but... yeah it hurt, comparing those moments with the heartbreak they're going through rn.

i guess the reason she went to him instead of her friends could be as simple as... she was nearby, his dorm is close to college, so she dropped by... or it could be as complex as her finding warmth in him that she hasn't experienced anywhere else before. we'll find out why after the frat party reveal!! (which was, as you said, definitely more than just a hook up night. probably not too deep, but deep enough :'))

i don't think it was a crush, even less love, back then, but there was something between them for sure. even during the hook up phase! a connection maybe. we've been seeing it since ch1... there's always been chemistry, and they've always kind of.. hm, clicked.

tbh, i'd say oc has been a lot more open with jk than vice versa. like, since they started their fwb thing, she's laid her heart open to him very often. he definitely didn't show his pain as much as she did... it's time he does :')

'I have no thoughts just a *** *****' WHY DID I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEANT LMAOAOAOAO

more aggressive jk you say? GOTCHA COS ME TOO !!!

your reactions to the smut are everything 😭 LIKE THE RIPPED CONDOM LMFAO JUST THEM !!! i also fkn love every single time you go "#rip⭐️" LOL ILY STAR ILY

and yes, sucking/cockwarming >>>>

anal tease 👁

MAKING L*VE ???? I REFUSE STAR LOL

the shower scene was my favourite of all 🥺 domesticity is my favourite city fr, i wanna reside there forever hahaha i just love it when they giggle together, i'm so down bad 😭 it'll be insane once they actually get together :')

and don't worry, babe!! take as much time as you need. i'm very slow too lol i apologise! i saw your other review too and i fucking love your thoughts to cmi every damn time, thank you so much 😭 will get to it soon too!! <333

#i love you so much #this was so cute and wholesome :'''') ty ty ty <33333 #notes for rid 🌹#⭐️ anon #fic: colour me in #long ask

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