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littleladymab · 4 months

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FebruarOC - Fe + Finn

a TWO FOR ONE DEAL!! They're from the same project and, somehow, have the same initials. They're not related at all. Felicia "Fe" Monahan and Finn Meadows! (The third of their trio will appear later this month)

To start, Washer at the Ford was the project name I had for what I wanted to become a bunch of kind of supernatural murder mysteries, but also it was the story of a girl who (somehow??) came into the possession of the soul of Jack, man who fooled the devil many times and then: got real drunk and died by drowning in a bog and then had to wander through purgatory holding a burning coal. And the Devil went "hey wait a second that soul is mine by rights" and wants it back. Looking at the scant notes I had for it and what I remember of the plotting, oh I could make it so much better now. But it is what it is and it's a low priority project to get back to.

Fe is the daughter of the local witch, who used to do spirit work before her husband died. Fe herself can see/talk with spirits and ghosts. I unfortunately don't remember how her dad died, but it was a real bad accident and probably had to do with spirits. But her mom shut down everything regarding that after the accident and resorted mostly to doing apothecary and just general plant focused stuff.

Fe dropped out of school after the accident when she was 13 in part due to ruthless bullying started by another student and also wanting to be with her mom. The other student started calling her "Ghost Girl" and while she's like "yeah I am" he said it in a way that was clearly out to make her something beneath all the other students and this coming at the same time as her mom leaving the spirit business and her father's death, it was just a little too much for a pre-teen to handle! So she left and never went back!!

She's been trying to get her mom to deal with the grief and in so doing get back to her old practices, but Shelley is having None Of That. Especially now that a murder has happened in the small town, and the fiancée of the victim is saying that she saw a spirit washing his clothes in the river before he disappeared -- well, bean sidhes aren't native to Tennessee, so that's weird, huh?? Shelley does not find it weird and that girl should go to the police. And Fe is just "hm don't think they'll be able to help.... mayhaps.... I'll investigate on my own".

Finn is probably a Northern Boy, who recently graduated from college and has moved down to live with his uncle and help at his church before he goes to seminary. I have in his character notes that he's got a "closely guarded secret" that was mostly just, he was in love with someone he shouldn't have been, and it got messy. But you know, it would be fun to do some Intense Southern Preacher vibes with his uncle that he gets wrapped up in -- especially since Fe doesn't like his uncle and i do really want to lean into the southern gothic vibes.

When I originally started plotting for the story, he didn't have much of a personality at all. He was just tall (totally a personality trait) and serious especially when compared to Fe and Othello, but when I actually started writing it (hello 2012 nano) he immediately got a very charming if not a little self deprecating sense of humor and clicked well with Fe off the bat. She gets a huge crush on him from the jump, but he treats her politely and strictly as a friend. Which is fine, she realizes that he's just nice to her and she confused that with romantic feelings because she's not had enough genuinely nice friends in her life. So once they get that figured out, they're besties.

It should also be noted that Finn has, what the Devil calls, a soul that is sweet and delicious to spirits. He is actually just a really good and nice guy and admittedly his previous love life wasn't too much sin to spoil the taste.

Here's just some random scene between Fe + Finn for free on my patreon! (I suppose before they're friends with Othello lmao). I sure did read a few wiki pages to see what patron saint Finn would have on his token and the answer is Thomas Becket who is patron saint of diocesan priests but it doesn't come up at all because why would it.

#a lil miss original #februaroc #lil miss writings #washer at the ford

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tantanatana · 2 years

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I have always been anxious. Ever since school. As soon as the school van passed those familiar houses and buildings, this anxiety, this weird feeling in my chest, and my breath would rise up and stay there until i came home and would not go until i was sure that I won't have do anything related to school, no tution, no project work. I am actually really fun loving, I love meeting people, making friends, etc. Won't call myself extroverted but neither am I an introvert.

And, fortunately, after years of this feeling, which I didn't even know how to describe, what it was called, which I thought of as a flaw in my personality, I left the school. I went to coaching. That's a different story though, I repeat it so much in my head that now I'm tired of it. Perhaps I'll tell you this next time.

But i wanna talk about what I'm feeling right now: it's like a dread. Anxiety. I can't stop shaking my leg and i can't stop scrolling on my phone. ADHD. But that's okay, figuring it out, I'll make something good out of myself. But before that, how to escape what I'm feeling? Back then, it was the school that triggered my anxiety but now, it's everything, everything feels like doom. I can never relax. I'm always so tensed. At times, it's coffee that puts me to sleep. But it worsens the anxiety.

Parables of heroes make me feel so insecure. They say, I only daydream about my dream but do you even know what I'm feeling? Do you even know what it's like to not be officially diagnosed and doubting yourself every alternate days that whether are you faking it? Did you tell your mind that let's pretend? Actually, you might know. It's not like your life is any easier than mine. Yes, I'm talking about you, you're reading my rant right now. I hope you'd feel that everything will be alright. If you've ever felt this dread, this getting stuck on something, not being able to move, like a glass wall infront of you and you can go forward and you don't feel like going backwards.

And willpower? I have a lot of it. That's why I'm still sitting here, trying to find a way out, and not giving up. And even if i do give up, it'd be in my satisfaction. I won't and I can't let you decide whether this is a flaw in my character or a fault in the wiring of my brain. (well, unless you're a psychiatrist, but I still can't let you do the former). So, everyone including me, have faith, this is just a dreadful time you feel would never pass, but everything passes, you know that too. You'll feel better. You're stronger than you think you are. Okay? You're stronger than you think. Even if your mind, your body, your environment, your whole world tells you that aren't, fck them. Life ain't meant to be lived with something or someone we don't wanna live with. But sometimes we do get them, these things and people. But that doesn't mean that it's a part of you. This anxiety ain't a part of me, it's not my personality, it's an imbalance in my hormones or neurotransmitters or something like that. I am not gonna let it ruin the future, the life and the happiness I had set for yourself. So, you too, have some strength even if you think it's fake, and believe in yourself even if you think it's cliched. It's ends up being true. What you believe about yourself. Don't worry. You'll be alright. Love you. There's live flowing around. It'll reach to you. ❤️

#Anxiety #You'll be okay

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xxkellsvixen19xx · 5 years

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Perfectly Unexpected Colson Baker X Reader

Word Count: 2,250

Warnings: None kinda fluffy lol

There weren’t many things in life you genuinely didn’t like - all in all, you considered yourself a positive person. But you wouldn’t be a human being living in a modern society without ever coming across some aspects of life you could definitely do without.

Like Brussel sprouts, for example. Or ingratitude. Or, when looking at society as a whole, phenomenons like social injustice. Sure, you weren’t a perfect person, and you certainly didn’t want to end up as a hypocrite pointing fingers at others while simultaneously not practicing what you preached.

Yet that certainly didn’t stop you from standing up for your beliefs in front of others - a character trait which kept your circle of friends relatively small, but that was fine with you. Having a handful of truly trustworthy and honest people in your life was better than having a few thousand superfacial acquaintances – at least to you, it was.

Besides the previously mentioned things, there was something else you really, really didn’t like.

Blind Dates.

Now, of course blind dates weren’t generally a bad thing. But, much like listening to a song over and over again until you came to hate it eventually, blind dates had been pretty much ruined for you.

All thanks to your best friend, Jewels. You loved her, you adored her, but sometimes, you just really wanted to strangle her. More times than you could recall, she’d convinced you to go on a blind date with a guy of her choice. Each time, you’d tried to talk her out of it, but she would have none of it – and in the end, she was more persistent and you were too much of a harmony junkie to rebuff her.

The first few times, you’d been genuinely excited for your dates. When it came to dating and relationships, you were pretty “old school” – you loved the concept of meeting someone through shared interests, the idea of fateful encounters – of romance just in general, really. Of course you weren’t naïve enough to believe in something as ridiculous as the concept of “love at first sight” (well, maybe you were, but you certainly wouldn’t tell anyone about it).

Yet you still couldn’t help letting your expectations running rampant in those few seconds before your blind date would eventually walk in and crush all of them within mere minutes.

One time, Jewels had set you up with a guy she’d met on the subway – seriously, who does that? – and while he’d seemed interesting enough at first, he’d proceeded to shamelessly flirt with and swoon over all of the female waitresses and fellow guests during your date, leaving you sitting there to mend your wounded pride while he ended up getting punched in the face by the boyfriend of a lady whom he confessed his “eternal love” to.

Another time, you’d ended up with a man who was quite a few years your senior, but other than that, pretty much the full package – beautiful red hair, a few scars that only added to his charm, a stunning smile, and some humor on top of all that. It could’ve been perfect – had you not found out about his wife and child by coincidence a few days later.

You could vividly remember how furious you’d been and how Jewels had sincerely apologized, assuring you that she’d just met the guy through mutual friends and that she’d had no idea about his little double life.

But none of that was quite as devastating as your latest blind date – and, as you’d promised yourself after that evening, your last. You should’ve known something was wrong with the guy as soon as he managed to use about 10 different curse words within the first five minutes of conversation. But you didn’t want to seem snobbish or superficial, so you’d tried to give him a fair chance.

Well, let’s just say he managed to start a fight with an entire group of men seated at the table next to you, and the evening had ended with you being questioned by the police. Yikes.

After all those experiences, you were pretty sure any sane person would never agree to go on a blind date ever again, let alone one set up by your best friend. But alas, either you were suffering from temporary insanity, or Jewles was just some kind of witch, because yet again, she’d managed to convince you.

At least this time, you wouldn’t be alone – since your blind date tonight was actually her boyfriend’s friend/bandmate, Jewels and Rook would be accompanying the both of you, making it a double date. According to your best friend, Rook’s friend was none other than the infamous Machine Gun Kelly!

You and Jewels were currently getting ready before meeting up with the boys at the restaurant.

“Jewels, I don’t want to go, please don’t make me!” you whined.

“You already said yes, (Y/N)! I can’t just call it off now!” Jewels answered, munching on some marshmallows she’d brought with her. “Besides, you’re gonna love Colson, he’s perfect for you!”

“Yeah, well, according to you, all the other guys were perfect, too,” you deadpanned.

Jewels just rolled her eyes at you. “Yeah, but Colson is Rook’s friend and brother, and let's be honest, my boyfriend is pretty damn hot.”

Is she for real right now?

You couldn’t help but laugh at your friend’s brazenness.

“Ok, first of all, that doesn’t even make sense, since you already told me they’re not blood-related. Second of all, looks aren’t everything, and lastly: EW! He’s YOUR boyfriend, I’ve told you before that automatically turns him into a neutral being I wouldn’t ever think about in a sexual way! Like … a nice fruit basket!”

“Well you do know fruit baskets can potentially include bananas, and-“

You groaned. “Why are we friends again?”

“Because you love me. Now hurry up and get dressed, or we’re gonna be late!”

A little while later...

You had taken a little longer to get ready than usual, since, unlike all the other times before, Jewels hadn’t given you advice on what to wear to impress your date.

“Just… be yourself, I think that’ll impress him.”

Maybe this date wasn’t going to be as disastrous as all the others. Maybe, just maybe, this guy was actually different. Or maybe you were just a hopeless romantic born in the wrong century.

You were just about to enter the restaurant when Jewles let out a loud squeal, making you turn around to see the guys arrive.

Looks Aren't Everything,don't be super facial,stay calm-

HOLY shit.

Blonde, shaggy hair, the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes you’d probably ever seen, and a scar… he was undeniably handsome.

You swallowed. Suddenly, you were feeling just a little more nervous than minutes before.

Ok, a lot more nervous.

He politely greeted Jewles before turning over to you. But instead of shamelessly checking you out, like some of your previous date had done, he simply smiled at you, keeping eye contact the entire time.

“Yo, I’m Colson, nice to meet you.” He held out his hand. Ok, this guy was way more polite than you would’ve expected.

And a lot cuter.

Shut up, brain!

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m (Y/N), but I’m sure you already knew that.”

He laughed quietly. It was a soft, warm sound, and you knew immediately you wanted to hear it again. “I do, actually. I hope you’re not uncomfortable with those two” – he pointed over at Rook and Jewles, who were still busy eating each others faces – “setting us up.” Even though it was already quite dark outside, you could make out just the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

Adorable.

“N-No, it’s alright, I’m actually quite glad that it’s with someone like you.” A second later, you realized how that had sounded, blushing profusely. “Oh my god, that sounded so superficial, I apologize. I’m just- uhm… a little nervous.” You smiled in what you hoped was a genuine way (and prayed it didn’t make you look as idiotic as you felt).

“Don’t worry, I know what you meant. I’m a little nervous, too, actually.” He reached up to scratch his neck.

You were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you. Turning around, you were met with a shit-eating grin from Jewles.

“So, should we go inside or do you two lovebirds need another minute?”

A while later…

“What?! So you’re saying that even though you love music, you’ve never been to one a live show?” Colson asked you excitedly.

“No, I haven’t. I’m just not a big fan of large crowds, you know? Makes me kind of anxious.”

He shook his head in mock disapproval, making you giggle. “No, this will not stand. Next time I’m going, I’m taking you with me. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you, so don’t worry.”

You blushed. After the initial awkwardness, you and Colson had basically been talking non-stop for the last hour or so. Jewles had been right – for the first time ever on a blind date, you were able to just be yourself, and feel comfortable doing so. Colson not only shared many interests and ideals, he was also incredibly charming and polite. Even though you wouldn’t admit it out loud – at least not to Jewles, who kept wiggling her eyebrows each time you looked her way – this was completely different from your previous dates.

The scar covering his eye had been caused by an accident, which had taken place while shooting off guns during down time, and he’d also told you a lot about his love for his other band mates. Apparently, they are very close.

“So, what do you want to do after you’re done with this tour?” you asked, taking another sip from your drink.

He cocked his head slightly, taking a moment to think. “Uhm, I’m actually not sure. I’ve done a couple of projects, so there’s quite a few directions I could potentially go in, but I actually like the idea of just living in the moment. Career is important and all, but so many people just forget to have fun along the way, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I couldn’t agree more! And even if you make tons of plans, who says they’ll actually work out in the end? Life’s full of surprises, anyway.”

“It is, indeed.” The way he looked at you just then made you think he was referring to you, or this… whatever this was or could be, and it made you smile like an idiot and blush as red as a tomato at the same time.

Left completely dumbfounded, you were desperately trying to come up with some sort of witty answer, but had no idea what to say. He just smiled, still looking at you, before asking: “Hey, uhm.. you want to go get some fresh air for a second?”

Feeling clueless as to why he’d ask but somehow also excited, you got up immediately.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” Jewles asked, looking as self-satisfied as ever.

“We’re just going to get some fresh air, we’ll be back in a second,” you replied, unable to keep blushing yet again when your best friend simply cocked an eyebrow as an answer.

Once the two of you were outside, you took a deep breath before looking at him, really looking at him. Your heart started beating faster and you were feeling like a teenager who was crushing on someone for the first time, despite only having just met this man.

You were royally screwed.

He looked right back at you, and smiled before scratching his neck once more.

“I’d actually really like to kiss you right now,” he said, taking all your breath away with just one sentence. “But I’m not going to, because this evening – no, you, have been so perfect and I don’t wanna ruin it by moving too fast.” You both spent a moment in comfortable silence before he added: “Uh, that is, if you’re even feeling the same way.”

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Colson, do you really need to ask?”

He chuckled. “I guess not.” He took a look at his watch before grinning cheekily. “So, why don’t we get out of here?”

“O-out of here? Why- I mean where would we go?”

“Doesn’t matter. We could go look for a place that still sells ice cream at his hour, or just drive around in circles all night while talking about whatever we want. What do you say?”

Well, that was unexpected. And a little reckless. But you couldn’t say you didn’t like it.

“But, uhm… what about the other two?” you asked, slightly unsure if it would be alright to simply ditch your friend.

“I think they’re going to be just fine on their own, don’t you think?”

You took a look through the glass windows to see Jewles and Rook sharing what was probably the biggest pizza you’d seen in your entire life.

Colson was right – they’d be just fine.

He held out his hand for you, and you took it, immediately intertwining your fingers with his.

As the two of you started running down the street to his car, giggling and laughing like little kids, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, you hadn’t been born in the wrong century, after all.

#machine gun kelly imagine #colson baker #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly #colson baker x reader #colson baker imagine #fan fiction

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