#I LOVE ME SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED DOOMED YAOI | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blackcatanna · 2 years

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Tale of the Demon Arms of Horniness maybe part 5???

I should be packing up all of my SHIT so my Mum can turn my old room into a guest bedroom but I keep getting distracted by finding weird old art and now it's gone midnight. Anyway, I decided to play Hakuoki. My cat has other ideas, though...

In her defence, she is very cute. I can hear her purring somewhere behind me.

ANYWAY, let the emotional constipation commence! I really hope that Takeda appears soon because I really miss that freaky little fucker :') Hopefully, he and Iba will bond over how horny they are and we'll all live happily ever after...

Okay, so, Iba's finally resolved to get off his pretty, rich ass and go do some demon slaying! Alrighty!

Wait, what?

Now Chizuru is flinging herself after the Shinsengumi in order to get Iba to move! Wtf?!? Even though he's the only one who's likely to defeat Takeda and Kodo and stop them taking over (and they'll likely be where the fighting is), he's still resolved to sit on his ass??? Didn't we cover this last time??? The rasetsu, demons and whatever the fuck Takeda is don't count as humans so he can fuck them up as much as he wants!

Can't tell if stupid or cowardly...

Chizuru using Iba's bullshit chivalrous nonsense against him could be a stroke of narrative genius if there weren't another bunch of reasons for him having to get off his arse.

"he was speechless for a second as I smirked wryly." XD Good for her. :)

"There was no hiding my act of sophistry." XD Them you're a pretty shit sophist, Chizuru! Should've spent more time with Itou

"But, having recalled Iba's furious tantrum," okay, normally, I would approve of the use of the word, "tantrum"... However, as I recall, he was rightfully upset at the Shogunate for sending the Shinsengumi to their doom, meanwhile trying to surrender in a way which would save their own asses... I may not have remembered that exactly right but it was something reasonably upsetting. Souma punching a wall was a tantrum. Iba freaking out and cutting off Takeda's arm was more unreasonable, imo (I maintain that that was fucked up)

"It is my duty, after all, to eradicate them." EXACTLY! So why the fuck have we been sitting here playing at some sort of nauseating game of husband and wife where I wait on you hand and foot???? >:( IBA, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER OR AT LEAST MARRY THIS GIRL.

"there was a selfish pleasure to be gained in catering to Iba's whims," o_O if you say so... Not going to elaborate on that, huh? I don't know what I was expecting. That she was secretly glad that she'd be closer to Takeda? That she hoped for some irl yaoi shit between him and Hijikatat? I guess it's just that she's a massive simp but also incredibly stupid.

Oh he's wearing his sexy new uniform... BEIGE! The perfect colour for this lame-ass motherfucker!

I like his hair like this, though. And the outfit does look good but beige is the worst colour.

"In his new uniform, Iba looked rather dashing," as if he wasn't already ridiculously pretty.

You know what Iba needs? Some EDGE (that's not artificially inserted through the stupidest narrative device ever devised). We should send him to Miki's fashion salon to get him an edgier new look... Miki would fuck him up a bit, that's what he needs! Maybe some piercings...

"A tasteful, gold trim" LAME (not lamé)

"In case you've forgotten, I'm still here..." Motoyama did what he could to make this route less shit and I will always love him for that. He failed, though.

I like Motoyama's outfit, actually (no BEIGE).

"All of us held our breaths, nodding towards one another before sprinting out of Edo's castle town." XD The fuck is this anime bullshit? Holding your breath is not advisable before sprinting! You want to take lots of deep breaths to oxygenate your blood! Also, why the fuck are you even sprinting?!?!

Chapter 2: Iba Stops Being a Little Bitch (hopefully): In which our heroine is (hopefully) finally reunited with Takeda, the only reason I am still interested in this story.

Okay, thank god, I see a camp. Hopefully, this means that I won't have play through hours of walking, angsting and occasional HORN.

"Pardon the detour." FUCK. We're where? Odawara, now? I wasn't paying that much attention but I remember Odawara...

Wow, Iba's just completely abandoned his duty to a) escort me to the Shinsengumi and b) murder the fuck out of Kodo, Takeda and co. For someone who bleats on about honour and whatnot way too much, he sure is shit.

Yes, we get that you have oh so many responsibilities because you're so rich and powerful and talented and popular and blah blah blah but maybe focus, yeah? Show a little spirit!

"Unfortunately, we've found ourselves sidetracked to a completely different location." >_< Just leave. Just fucking leave. The longer you spend trying to play at being a normal human, the worse shit will be. You're a fucking demon now. Fuck off into the night to complete your dark quest instead of hanging about like a WAP.

"Iba had fallen for my ruse," -_- The fuck is happening now.

"You should've just called her your wife instead of your page, you know." Once again, Motoyama is the only sane person here.

"As I said before, Iba and I are just friends." OOOOF. FATALITY!!! FFS CHIZURU. NO NEED TO FRIENDZONE HIM THAT HARD. You were literally fantasising about him being on top of you, I SAW YOU, so cut this shit OUT.

"The two of us wouldn't work well together..." O_o WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING???? WHY ARE THESE WORDS COMING OUT OF HER FUCKING MOUTH??? GIRL, I KNOW YOU WANT HIM! STOP TORTURING THE POOR GUY >:(

"I am just a girl from the city..." *Eye rolling intensifies*

"Huh? That can be easily fixed. All you would need is for Kondou to adopt you, and then it'd be fine." HE'S FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT! He is such a good friend. Normally, this sort of thing would piss me off but he's SO RIGHT. WHY ARE THEY SO DETERMINED NOT TO BE TOGETHER. THIS IS STUPID. UUUUUUGGH

"My role is irrelevant since the battle is approaching soon." Ah, war: that most ancient of cockblockers! :')

"we still had no clue as to where Takeda or Father were hiding." What?!? Surely not! Even after you put in all of *checks notes* ZERO effort trying to find them?!?? *Pikachu face* Useless fucking bitches...

"A thought in the back of my mind convinced me that they would rear their ugly heads in the middle of a large-scale battle, just to antagonise us..." XD FIRST OF ALL, Takeda's head is very pretty, actually (I love how shady all of Chizuru's descriptions of Takeda are). Secondly, Y'ALL ARE FUCKING LUCKY THAT THIS IS THE KIND OF STUPID BULLSHIT THAT HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU PUT ABSOLUTELY NO EFFORT INTO SOLVING THIS PROBLEM YOURSELVES.

Wait, you had SEN'S ADDRESS THIS WHOLE TIME (well, I guess they were physically there...) And STILL HAVEN'T BEEN IN ANY WAY PROACTIVE WITH THE FURY ERADICATION MISSION. HONESTLY, YOU CAN BOTH GET IN THE GARBAGE. I AM GOING TO FLING YOU INTO THE OCEAN SO THAT TAKEDA CAN EAT YOU!!!

"I imagine that you're staying outside because you enjoy our conversations, don't you?" !!!!!! FUCKING FINALLY, THIS BITCH BEGINS TO CATCH ON. IF CHIZURU FUCKING DENIES THIS SHIT, I'M SKIPPING THROUGH THE ENTIRE REST OF THIS PLAYTHROUGH EXCEPT THE BITS WITH TAKEDA IN.

"Yes..." OH, THANK GOD. Although, I am a little disappointed...

"Well, come closer." Uwu! :D

"His left arm shook violently," do you remember kids telling eachother that shaking or tapping a limb was a sign of Horniness?

"His grip wasn't gentle in the slightest," The Demon Arm of Horniness does not know how to properly seduce a lady..

"Stay outside! Begone from me!" But she wants you to grab her and do horny things that she will pretend to hate because she's internalised so much shame about sex but then she will secretly go away and fantasise about them, leaving you to wallow in pain and guilt (but I guess that doesn't matter to her). This shit is DARK.

"Slicing along the side of my carotid artery." Did she... Just cut open her carotid artery??? XD That shit'll be fucking messy! Rip Iba's shiny new beige uniform!

Ah yes, guilting your lover into drinking your blood. A time honoured tradition of this game. I feel like it's not this bad in other routes ...

"he braced himself to slurp my blood." I feel like Chizuru's enjoying this way more than poor Iba X_X

I feel like the whole theme of this route is doing kinky things but no one's allowed to enjoy them (because only sluts enjoy sex, right? And all sluts are EVIL).

"I didn't become a Fury for this..." Yeah, remind me, Iba, why the fuck did you become a fury? I have heard that it was for the purpose of defeating the other abomination squad. But that's not what you're doing (what you are doing is fannying about with Chizuru and you're both pretending not to be into each other for some inexplicable reason). I remember one reason was that it was to preserve the integrity of the dojo or whatever but that doesn't make sense since he's not allowed to fight anyway. PICK A FUCKING REASON AND STICK TO IT, PLEASE."

"Chizuru, would you mind leaving me be...?" "Huh? But--" BITCH, YOU BARGED IN HERE AFTER HE ASKED YOU NOT TO AND YOU FORCED HIM TO DRINK YOUR BLOOD, KINDLY RESPECT HIS FUCKING BOUNDARIES.

"I had to stop myself from doting upon him when he felt vulnerable--a seemingly impossible task." Only if you don't fucking respect his boundaries.

Oh yeah, there's also the dumbass argument that he was doing it so that he had the strength to protect Yukimura. I forgot about that one. HIS WHOLE PERSONALITY IS BUILT AROUND THIS FUCKING EMPTY VN CHARACTER. I can understand why Chizuru is somewhat empty, since she is a proxy for the player but the writers have no fucking excuse for making Iba so empty by association. Why he come visit Shinsengumi? Chizuru. Why he chop Takeda up? Chizuru. Why he take Ochimizu? Chizuru. Why he rejoin war? Chizuru. THIS IS GARBAGE WRITING AND I AM SICK OF IT. There are plenty of good reasons for any of these steps but this stupid story always makes everything about Chizuru. It's boring.

Wait, did we not come from Odawara?? WE'RE JUST NOW ARRIVING IN ODAWARA??? FFS.

Okay, so we're convincing Lord Okubo to switch sides... I thought that the Shogunate had already decided to surrender Edo castle... Hence angst... Perhaps they're leaving their options open...

THIS HAD BETTER BE FUCKING TAKEDA AND THE EVIL EGG

Ugh. It's not them. Just the Odawara domain seemingly betraying Iba and his bros

"I clung timidly onto the hope that this was some sort of huge misunderstanding..." You so dumb.

"They should be here any minute now, but now that you mention it, they're running a little behind..." Then they're DEAD.

I feel like the Yugeki unit boldly marching up to the enemy and asking them to change sides was not a good move, given how dire the shogunate's position seems to be... Anyone stupid enough to joon the Shogunate at this point is probably not worth having as an ally anyway...

"I heard a commotion..." TAKEDA?!?? Please, finally... This route is desperately in need of SPICE.

Okay, they're not dead YET.

Omfg O_O Now they're dead, "in a moment the enemy troops slaughtered them, turning the river red with dismembered limbs floating down the current." Big yikes. Thanks for the spice, I guess???

"Please allow me to break the vow I made to Princess Sen, just this once..." Girl, I am not your fucking keeper. Do whatever the fuck you want and on your head be it.

"Captain! You're back!" Guess they ain't all fucking dead, then! Good!

"Hmph." - that's how we know this guy's a baddie, "Come to join your friend floating down the river, have ya?!" Such a lovely image :)

"Iba deflected all of the bullets, splitting them in half" ffs XD love this anime shit!

"No amount of mastery could grant that sort of supernatural intuition." ... Think again, carefully about that sentence. One word in particular should stand out, dumbass. Clue: HE HAS SUPERNATURAL FUCKING DEMON POWERS, YOU BRAINLESS PLUM.

"I was baffled," AAAAAAAAAAGH

"but Iba seemed more or less indifferent." Another day, another slay!

"Wh-Who are you creeps?!" TAKEDA??

"A-Are they not human?!" TAKEDA?!

Side note: why the fuck are they killing these imperials?

OMFG, "they mutilated the corpses, digging their maws in terrifying glee to feast upon blood and organs " WELL, I GUESS THAT ANSWERED MY FUCKING QUESTION. THIS IS... NEW.

"a tall, long-haired officer emerged from the crowd." TAKEDA?!!???

"*Sigh* The hunger is understandable, I suppose, but would it hurt any of you to show a little class...?" OMFG ICONIQUE! THE BITCH IS BACK! TAKEDA, I LOVE YOU. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DO CRIME AND EAT PEOPLE. PLEASE TAKE ME AWAY FROM IBA. HE IS SO BORING. I just love this line so much... It's so refreshing to feel joy after so much fetishised repression...

"That voice!" Chizuru is also appropriately excited!

THERE HE BE!!! Blue is a much nicer colour than beige, good job! I miss the absurdly long hair but this new look is also very nice.

"Ah, look at what the cat dragged in." XD

"You have no idea how long I've waited to see that pretty face of yours." Same.

"Takeda licked his lips as he spoke," XD what? XD "turning his fearsome gaze over towards me." Uwu. I feel like the writers' logic was to make us fall back into Iba's arms after being presented with a creepy alternative but they didn't account for the fact that, at this point, I would take any route away from Iba (although I guess this would result in impregnation, which majorly squicks me out... DAMMIT, THERE IS NO GOOD OPTION).

Also, I guess the Demon Arms of Horniness also make people straight XD

"He eyed me like prey," a lot of people would be very into this. I have seen bdsm tests to prove it!

"Had Takeda always looked at me that way...?" No, because he was GAY XD THIS IS A HISTORICAL FACT

The Christians (well, certain bitches): "Demons'll make you gay" This Fucking Game: "Demons'll make you straight"

Maybe Iba was gay too

"Iba stepped in front of me protectively, forcing Takeda to meet his line of sight." He's like, "EXCUSE ME! I AM THE ONE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE INTERESTED IN??? WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR HOMOEROTIC RIVALRY?" Iba, if you wanted to maintain a homoerotic rivalry, you shouldn't have started lopping limbs off!

"I, too, have been counting the days until we were to meet next," SEE????

Ooh, now I get a better look at Takeda's outfit and Iba next to him... Sorry Iba, Takeda wins the fashion contest. Also, I'm kind of sick of Iba's face (I am so sorry, Iba). Probably my own fault for pausing to bitch so frequently... Anyway, yeah, Takeda's outfit is more dramatic with its strongly contrasting bright whites (but mostly his beautiful hair, so pretty) whereas Iba doesn't really have any bold colours or anything... They all seem washed out. Takeda looks like a sexy vampire pirate!

"but... Now that the day is here, I'd like to kill you here and now" uh-huh. This is because he noticed Chizuru before you, isn't it.

"I found myself perplexed by Takeda's mockery." I feel like this is where he reveals his brilliant new diet...

"there was a disturbing cockiness about Takeda that was causing my stomach to sink..." XD Just you wait!

I like Takeda's fighting sprite because he lowers his head and it makes him look extra cute, like a little bunny. SHE SAYS, ABOUT THE MAN WHO'S HOBBY IS KILLING AND EATING PEOPLE. Look, all I'm SAYING is that he has a cute face and I will neither waiver from that position nor take it any further... At this point in time.

I love their long, pointy demon fingers! I love drawing hands like that!

"spent a minute glaring at one another while shifting their feet." NOW, KISS >:D

"I've no time to waste on the likes of you," I love that Iba never once, for a second, shows any sympathy towards Takeda, even after Sanan's warning XD Clearly, he is suppressing his feelings too hard (it would be in character, tbf)

"let's make this quick, shall we...?" "Very well. Ask and you shall receive, eh?" Love some pre-evisceration flirty banter!

"Takeda offered a smug grin," thank you :D

"Takeda was gaining the upper hand," thus, proving the superiority of his dietary choices!

"Wha?!" A cutting response, Iba!

I can see Takeda's leetle fangs when he talks

"Out of frustration, Iba began swinging wildly at Takeda," typical. Because I am a bitch (see my other posts for further evidence), there is part of me which enjoys Iba experiencing what it's like to be powerless, occasionally. Maybe he'll learn some sympathy.

I feel like Takeda's facial expressions are never very scary because his face is too cute. To be clear, when I say "cute" here, I don't mean "hot" (that's another issue) but cute like bunny. He has such a dainty little nose so his sprites make him look cute... or maybe it's something else... He looks scary in the cg where he gets stabbed but that's drawn separately... Anyway, I'm going to stop ranting about how cute Takeda is in case someone I know reads through all this shit, finds this bit and roasts me for calling this guy cute.... Actually, you know what, fuck that! I think he's cute and I will stand by that! (This whole stupid bullet point looks like the kind of shit I'd write while drunk but I am not and I will not edit it because editing is for people who give shits and that is not me!)

"Are you intentionally avoiding me?" Ship Translation: Do you Like me, Iba? "I'll take it as you're just trying to test me, otherwise we're--how did you put it?--just wasting time, no?" Ship translation: I am having a wonderful time with you, my love! I could murder you right now but that would make me unhappy

I feel like Takeda's trying to get Iba to give up. I mean, obviously. Otherwise he'd just kill him. Is it because he wants to see Iba break down? Is it because he doesn't want Iba to die because he wants to smooch him? Only fanfiction can answer those questions!

"When we last dueled in Yase, I humiliated you," which, hear me out, COULD be a kink thing... "and you scuttled away," XD he waddles, he scuttles, he apparently only moves in off-putting ways XD

"Demons are like gods, and every god requires a sacrifice if you want blessings." :D Oh good, I'm sure that this will be fine and helpful and not awful :D

"D-Don't tell me you drank human blood!" -_-' Hypocrite.

"Over a dozen have proven to be a worthy sacrifice!" Do they have to die? Do you have to drink all their blood? I need answers!

"Wh-What have you done?!" Chill out, dude! He just slorped some people! So did you!

"Just to make one thing clear, I despised you from the first moment I met you." XD Methinks the lady doth protest too much... <<< This shit right here is why no one can ever kill a ship!

"You think you're hot shit, being born into a wealthy family and having every possible whim catered at your leisure..." YES, TAKEDA, DRAG HER!

"I was born into a no-name family. I had to claw my way to the top, and prove my worth when no one else would give me the time of day. I had to hone my MIND." Yes, well done, Takeda. However, I feel like this monologue is aimed more at eliciting sympathy from Iba than killing him. If you want a hug, just ask.

"Even after being bestowed with the Takeda name, I was sneered at like filth! You will NEVER never understand what it's like to struggle!" PREACH. One of the many problems with Iba's route. He could've maybe TRIED to be sympathetic a LITTLE. X_X

And now, a personal aside. If you don't want to witness my oversharing, feel free to skip this bullet point. Anyway, Takeda, hi. I feel you, bro. I've been in your shoes and I may have some pertinent advice for you. You see, long ago, I met a guy. This guy had had opportunities handed to him that I would've killed for. His family was well connected in the field I had wanted to get into since I was a tiny child and he was showered with jobs, internships and advice (much like Iba, he did also work hard but he would never understand what it was like for people like me). ANYWAY, people like that can be infuriating, I get it. Especially when they can be cruel towards you and there's some sexual tension. So, Takeda, I speak from experience when I say this: just fuck him. You can still do your thing, competing over who's the best swordboi while fucking like rabbits behind the scenes. Chizuru doesn't need to know. That's my advice for how to deal with rivals: just fuck them! It's so much more fun than being pissed off, angsty and repressed. Your friends might judge you but I guess that's not a problem for you because you don't have any friends. Maybe once you start fucking your rival, you'll be able to calm down and go make some.

"A laceration suddenly appeared on Iba, from which a thick geyser of blood splashed into the air." Takeda, you gonna lap that up or let all that delicious, nutritious blood go to waste?

"Your entire reason for existing is for the purpose if feeding my sword--" but are you gonna eat him, though? Takeda, don't waste food! >:(

"Be gentle with her, my Furies. Soon, she will bear my children..." XD FUCKING NOPE!!! Eat as many people as you like! I draw the line at impregnation!

"What the--?!" I feel like this baffled confusion is a that this shit warrants...

"I fell speechless out of sheer bewilderment." Same.

"It was a vile and sickening admission," yeah, but not that unusual (see KAZAMA), particularly for the time, "one that I had presumed to have no basis in reality," XD Why? That's pretty naïve... Tbf, this is my worst nightmare, even though Takeda is cute... Maybe my WORST nightmare would be if it was KODO.

"Takeda reached his slender fingers underneath my chin," ;) This is fine, though (as long as I pretend not to have heard what he just said). Also, oh, so his fingers are slender now, are they? Didn't we describe his hands in some other, unflattering way earlier..

"Then, he clutched it aggressively, forcing my head to tilt upwards to face him directly." Still more fun than being stuck with Iba, ngl!

"ever since I obtained this hand of mine, I've been having very, very lucid dreams of you." I bet the writers couldn't wait for this reveal. Such genius.

"Needless to say, they were quite suggestive. Sensuous, even." XD I want details, this sounds hilarious! I wonder how long Takeda had these dreams for before he was like, "FINE, I'LL FUCK HER. LEAVE ME ALONE." because he seemed fine last time and he'd already had the arm for quite a while.

"I used to think you were nothing more than a brat," XD I guess she's been upgraded to brood mare! Or, maybe not so much upgraded as that's an addition. Brood mare and brat can coexist.

"the Demon's arm seeks a mate of its own ilk. It craves your flesh, and now, so do I." XD He understandably doesn't sound thrilled about this.

"I felt sick to my stomach," yeah, this is pretty gross...

"he indulged in this disgusting fantasy." Hey, this was the Demon Arm of Horniness' idea, not Takeda's. He's just another flesh vessel, like you. ALL HE WANTED WAS TO BE GAY AND DO CRIME D':

"We're not so different, you and I." Classic villain line! Kazama would never say it, though... But Souma says it to Miki (was Souma the villain the whole time??? Must... resist urge... to talk about Miki during a completely unrelated route)

"The dreams. You have them. I am most certain of it. Night after night, they haunt me." XD Sounds like poor Takeda is traumatised and looking for some solidarity. What kind of fucked up conversation therapy device have these developers unleashed on us? X_X

"Behind that nauseating, sycophantic veneer of yours is the slow simmer of lustful thoughts..." Takeda always says just what I'm thinking, which makes it very hard for me to hate him. Also, the impregnation thing isn't hitting me as hard as the first time I played this because I was PREPARED and can see that it's very much the arm being WEIRD.

"Why don't you tell her? Tell her all of your deep, dark secrets. I'm sure she'll get a kick out of it." XD Love Takeda calling us out like this! Takeda knows that women like sex too but Iba probably doesn't because he prefers to put them on pedestals and fetishise their purity. Or maybe I'm talking about the writers here... It's hard to tell sometimes.

"Sh-Shut up!" Convincing rebuttal!

Your wimpy, anaemic sword arm can't halt the truth, Iba!

"Baka ni!" As usual, Takeda is right. I don't know if it's because I have played too much Samurai Warriors (jk: no such thing) but I see this as flirtation.

"he stared into Iba's eyes" uwu "before slashing his exposed chest." Does this mean his beigey uniform is all fucked up? Not fair that Takeda gets to see this but we don't. Actually, he deserves it after having to endure The Demon Arm of Straightness.

"I heard the chilling sound of Iba's flesh splitting like a butcher's knife through swine" :(

"he cackled to himself." Good for her!

"Before I could reach Iba, Takeda slapped me across my face." XD Takeda really said, "If we really have to do it, at least neither of us are going to enjoy it." Or maybe Chizuru is into that shit (she isn't but I bet at least one person who has played this is... Surely there are also people who fantasise about getting taken away by a handsome vampire to have his children, idk, seems likely. I genuinely want a Takeda route. I don't actually want to date him at any point in the game as it stands (even if he was real and I was in Chizuru's position) because he's a fucking menace and has so many issues to sort out but I think that a route with him would be fun and chaotic. Unless they went down this avenue. I would hate that so much. I do not want another route featuring these stupid horny demon arms! Also, pregnancy is a big nope for me.)

"You know, I could do the same thing to you," and oh boy does he want to... "but... why rush things, am I right?" Ya babe, ur so right "I'd rather strike a deal; that's fun for you, isn't it?" Ya, this is so fun for me. Loving every second. Is this Takeda's weird attempt at cultural appreciation towards demons? Like, "Omg, hey, demons love deals, right? That's their whole thing! Wanna make a deal with me? DEMON ARM, AM I DOING THIS RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLIRT WITH GIRLS." And the demon arm's whispering in his ear like, "Well, son, actually, that's a common misconception about us demons. Quite offensive, in fact, but you weren't to know. Anyway, doesn't matter. You have proven yourself the alpha by striking down the rival male! Her pussy'll be wet for sure! All you gotta do is seal the deal!"

Yes, I picture the demon arm as a creepy and misguided uncle living inside Iba and Takeda.

"if you promise to become my bride, and serve my every need, then I will show this man mercy." Yaaaay, so fun! Seriously, though, I need more details about this deal. How do you separate "needs" and "wants". Like, normally, having children would be a "want" but a fucked up demon arm bullying you into it changes that. Also, how self sufficient are you? Do I need to work for you to get money, buy food to feed you, look after you like you're a fucking child? I want a 50 Shades style scene with a proper contract, dammit! (This is not an endorsement of 50 Shades, I hear that it's trash but in a bad way)

"I was blubbering so hard I could barely form words." So much fuuuuun...

"Hey, I've had my fun." Time for the demon arm to have its fun X_X "I just wanted to put him in his place, all right?" My kink senses are tingling... "No need to kick a bitch while it's down." XD So noble of you. Tbf, Iba would absolutely kick a bitch while it's down but only if the bitch in question was Takeda (because he's special)

Omg, "Trust Takeda." is an option and I didn't click it last time... I want to see what happens... I'm gonna save so I can come back in a bit and do the right thing...

"A calm, sympathetic gaze appeared on Takeda's face" ... Seems unlikely...

"If, and only if, you submit your flesh to me, and heed my every command." ... Is this better than marrying Iba? Probably not. Either way, pregnancy, though. Eeewwwww. BUT sex with Takeda > sex with Iba. BUT Iba won't make Chizuru a slave and actually cares about her whereas Takeda genuinely hates her, I bet. "My knees wobbled, and sweat dripped down my neck." This is tough, I guess... OR, I could refuse and let him kill Iba! That's one down! Then I'd just have to deal with Takeda... This is stupid, I'm going to stop now..

"Could I give my body to someone I didn't love...?" Hey, at least it's mutual! "You can't... Chizuru..." We, I CAN but should I?

"THIS, however, he could stand to lose. Men of his temperament don't deserve a priceless hand like this. I'll take THAT." XD Fair enough.

"I am an unstoppable Demon and you are my concubine." XD This sounds exactly like the kind of VN or webcomic ad that I get all over the internet

"Looks like someone could use a little punishment, and luckily for you, I've got something in mind..." XD Sounds like Takeda has been reading too much 50 Shades... Probably as research on how to be a straight person...

"Takeda lunged for my arm, twisting it roughly as he pulled me in closer to him." Takeda, this is kinky and all, I appreciate the efforts, but kindly refocus on the task at hand!

Ah shit, now he's getting up -_-

"Furies, dinner time. Drink up, drink up, drink up." XD Kinda wanna see Iba get eaten by a bunch of furies because why the fuck not, at this point.

Oh shit, Takeda got shot! XD I feel like I should go back at this point ...

"Don't delude yourself, sweetie." Takeda, you make a terrible straight person

"All men are exactly the same." Red flags, red flags XD

"He's nothing like you!" Unfortunately. I feel like they could learn from each other but noooo.

"Ah, a feisty one. I like that." XD ffs

"It's more fun when you struggle." Omg XD O_e

Okay, Takeda got shot, omfg, is this the bit where we just jump off a fucking cliff like, "Guess our supernatural healing will save us X_X ... Although Iba's isn't working because of the silver bullets .. rip.

"Are you okay with this, Iba...?" I'M NOT! This is a shit plan XD

"Neither Iba nor I could endure Takeda's sadistic torture." >:( Don't kink shame him! Jk, consent is king.

"I turned to look over my shoulder and we jumped." XD This route just gets stupider and stupider.

Okay, I am done for tonight! I am glad that Takeda bae showed up, even though some boomer demon has made him straight and horny. Goodnight (good morning). Also, here's another picture of my cat playing Hakuoki with me:

I loved that the picture of my cat would show whenever my previous post got notes so I am repeating that formula (soon, I will be back in Manchester, where there are no kitties for me to cuddle :'( )

#I ramble a lot in this one #be warned #oversharing #the demon arms of horniness #the demon arms of conversion therapy #takeda kanryusai #iba hachiro #yeah I put Takeda before Iba #I missed him #he's certainly spicy #i mean #that was... A LOT #I feel like Iba and Chizuru jumping off the cliff is a metaphor for how the wtiters approached this route #hakuoki #hakuouki

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