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#I KNOW IVE BEEN SHOWING MORE OF THE INFP SIDE BUT LIKE ITS OKAY IM NORMAL I PROMISE
seariii · 5 months
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how do i threaten my boss to give me a raise
Ok so. You have to be careful with this one, because too much aggression will send you to prison, but too little will ruin your reputation.
+ ゚ * 。 For legal reasons, this is a joke 。⁠ * ゚⁠ +
My advice would be, attack something personal, like their family, and say something among the lines of "oh poor little ol' me, who has no money and so many taxes to pay" in an overly dramatic way, extra points if you throw yourself in a sofa or something.
After that, show them a picture of their family "btw look at what I found! I heard X school (where the children go) is really expensive... And this other adult is so pretty that could look good on my wall! Haha just kidding!" What does that mean exactly? Let the boss decide on their mind. And then add "I don't know who they are tho, but I thought that they could be my lucky charm, so I was debating on picking them up" and hold eye contact with a confident smile until the boss looks away. Even if they say something or get aggressive, keep holding the contact and evade with "oh it's just a joke, but the adult had car keys for Y car, thought it was interesting" just drop information you have, right?
After the boss finally looks away, you put your hand on their shoulder to assert dominance and say playfully "anyways! About that raise!"
If it doesn't work, you can always kidnap one of the people and send your boss a fake finger or something. But while the person is in your care, treat them nicely, they will be really scared and this isn't their fault, we want to scare the boss, not the family.
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ikevamp-shrine · 4 years
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It’s a match up baby
Hi there love! I just say your post saying u do matchupz 😱😱❤❤❤ i got so excited so now im here requesting one❤🌈🔥hope u dont mind🥰 okay so... ❤🥰 i am a aries, infp, Hufflepuff female 🦊 i am shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. Okay ima do this in 3 asks hope ya dont mind❤ 1/3... ❤🥰  I am pretty aloof and blunt, i like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating. I will definitely be the person making jokes at inappropriate times and something about inappropriate things (its one of my coping mechanisms) 😂 2/3... I love my friends and family and will fight anyone how threatens them, although when it comes to me you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly cant stand up for myself). I swear like a sailor although i am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real. I tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, okay one more 3/3 + one more🔥🙌sorry if this is TMI...I enjoy my own alone time and i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club) i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.  I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).🙈 Thanx so much dear ❤ Sorry if this is TMI🔥Cant wait to see who i get matched with 🌈🎀
Thank you for requesting @nad-zeta . I hope you enjoy and have a good rest of your day.
I MATCH YOU WITH...
Napoleon Bonaparte
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Charming people and getting them to open up is one of his things he does ya know? So your difficulty in getting to know is no problem to him
Napoleon is also a very patient man so you being shy does not effect him since he is used to it from being around Isaac 
He honestly finds it absolutely adorable 
He would understand bottling up your emotions since he is so used to putting others before himself (including other’s emotions before his own) but he would do every trick in the book to get you to slowly open up to him and to get you to talk about your emotions, wants, and needs
He would find your stubbornness incredibly sexy as he loves a challenge from time to time you would keep him on his toes
Your gentleness and kindness would always bring a tender smile to his face and make his eyes soften with adoration
He would roll his eyes at your goofy, fun loving, and over dramatic side but would ten out of ten join you in your antics then tackle you to the ground all while having one of his famed laughing fits
He can’t help but feel pride well up in him at your bluntness and confidence when you tell someone how it is but at the same time would inch closer just- and only just- incase you need him
Napoleon can’t help but to get turned on by your teasing but if you go too far he will quickly turn it around on you and leave you like a puddle of goo
He always snickers at your sarcastic and snarky comments unless they are directed towards then he will once more leave you breathless and begging for more
The first time you made a self deprecating joke... he was a little taken back- why was such a strong, beautiful, amazing woman joking about herself in a self deprecating way? 
He figured out after a little that your way of joking was unique and soon found humor in it himself- though he will always kiss you hard and tell you how perfect you are if he feels as if you start believing the jokes you say about yourself
Napoleon finds your badly timed inappropriate jokes endearing though he will still give you “the look” as if telling you not right now even if he is laughing hysterically on the inside
When I tell you this man would be head over heals in love with you when he seeing your protectiveness I mean it
The first time he sees your protective side he feels as if the whole floor falls out from under him because how is this woman so perfect? Like damn girl get you some. Go off hun- he finds it extremely hot.
Don’t expect to walk the next day lol
he finds your inability to stand up for yourself confusing (since you’re so quick to protect others) but won’t question it cause you won’t need to defend yourself... after all he will protect you with everything he has
He would absolutely make you put a quarter in the swear jaw each time you say a naughty word though he would see how hard you work to keep your mouth under control so he would go easy on you time to time 
You blush easily? He is going to use that to his advantage (after all he thinks your blush is so cute so he loves seeing it)
He would appreciate your go-with-the-flow approach to things and your ability to forgive and forget so easily
He would respect your alone time aka leave you alone when you wanted him to- no questions asked
Dislike crowds but you both need to go out in public? You better believe this man already made a map of the least populated streets in the city and if you had to go in a bigger crowd he would snake his arm around you and put on his most imitating expression to make people part like the red sea around you both
He doesn’t like loud noises either- war and all- so when there happens to be a thunder storm, a holiday that people have fireworks with, or if it’s just too loud in the mansion that day he would pick you up, carry you to his room, and snuggle in the bed with a blanket over both of your heads to try and block out the sound
He will even cover your ears with his hands if the sounds get too much for you
He knows everyone has insecurities and fears, and that it’s normal, and he can’t just kiss them away or say a few pretty words and they will disappear, he knows that, but he would want nothing more than for you to feel good about yourself and for all your fears to disappear all at once
He would see himself in you when you showed your calm and confident side (remember children confidence is sexy- and if you're not confident fake it until you make it)
he would have to hold himself back or he would end up jumping you and taking you were you stood
Napoleon would also keep you so busy- inside the bedroom and out- that you wouldn’t have time to feel or be awkward, but if you happen to be at anytime he can’t help but pat your head at how adorable you are
Other Matches:...
Leonardo da Vinci
You two would definitely have your ups and downs but he would always respect your space. He would find your protectiveness attractive and wouldn’t make you open up to him- instead he would wait until you were ready to talk. You would probably find his clutter and sleep schedule annoying but would get over it or learn to work around it. His flirty side would defiantly frustrate you (mainly because you wouldn't stop blushing while you were around him). You two would butt heads with when it comes to stubbornness but Leonardo would find your persistence sexy. He doesn't mind your not so PG mouth.
He would join in on making self depreciating jokes, so both of you would end up spending a long time just going back and forth absolutely roasting each other/ yourselves. He would encourage you to stand up for yourself but will always be there when you need him. You want to cuddle? This personal heater is yours for only the small price of a kiss. And cue the awkward, blushing mess Leonardo fell in love with.
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