#His sister's father in law was giving them his blessing lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mylordshesacactus · 2 years

Note

Do you have any particular trends, themes or broad concepts that seem to run through your OCs?

lmao im being CALLED OUT

let's see. off the top of my head.

There's:

Benevolence ("Benny"), my tiefling bard, who's my only actual Lawful Good character because her father (the uh, former high priest of Tiamat, shh) taught her his ethical code and she cleaves to those Three Rules the way some people cleave to their gods. You know. The girl who views the world through an unwavering lens of power--who has it, who doesn't, how they use it. How they don't. Who flies into a seething rage when anyone abuses their power.

Sedge Burdock, whose life is lived by the words of the uncle who raised her: Cruelty dies in daylight.

Rinda Broadstone, founding member of Paladins Against Parasocial Relationships because there is no ethical way to be a paladin unless you're willing, at any moment, to walk away and lose the blessing of your god forever if they ask you to do something that's morally wrong. She also adopted her late sister's five children with zero warning and no time to prepare solely to prevent their abusive father from claiming custody after their mother died.

Atri, ranger-cleric of the Raven Queen, Order of the Breaker of Chains, whose entire religious purpose is uplifting the powerless and checking the powerful.

Ihz, the antisocial mule courier and dog trainer who silently, stubbornly dedicated her life to caring for the Forsaken--who compares the way the living have treated them to a whipped dog, who learns to bite hard and on sight because it's been abused and its warnings and requests for space ignored for so long that there was no other way to keep itself safe.

Talet, the werewolf rogue who adopted a traumatized teenage bard on sight, and refuses to kill on orders or to kill her personal enemies even when she can get away with it, because wanting something doesn't give you the right to take it.

Velshada Wolfsong, gifted kid burnout extraordinaire, mage prodigy who was pushed too hard too young by her well-meaning mother and teachers until she completely lost control of her powers, broke and ran away, and had a long and difficult journey to heal from her trauma in the care of an adult who treated her like the teenager she is and taught her to value things about herself other than her magical abilities.

Levaden Mountaincall, self-taught feral druid who refuses to join a Circle because she feels they value Preserving The Natural Order above saving lives and is furious that they treat "people" as the opposite of nature, rather than an integral part of it. Whose motto is "Sometimes the point of a fight is to have it. if you're only willing to fight for something when you think you can win, then you don't really care. Someone has to be willing to lock antlers with you."

Beverly Hale, the file clerk/assassin whose life's work is meticulously reconstructing the legal system of the Kingdom of Lordaeron so that she can figure out who inherited its debts and sue them for the 1500 gold Arthas Menethil owes her for destroying her apartment right after she put down the first month's rent. Yes, he also murdered her, but SHE came back and her GODDAMN MONEY hasn't. Also, she's unionizing the Val'kyr.

THERE IS NOOOO STRONG THROUGHLINE HERE NNNNNOPE.

I am COMPLETELY capable of creating RPG characters who are not defined by a searing hatred for abuse of power, a fierce undying belief in a duty of care, a bullheaded "no, you move" brand of understated defiance, and, if standing in front of literally any trauma victim, the willingness to dig in their heels and fight god rather than give an inch.

#d&d

47 notes · View notes

tsarcvichs · 4 years

Text

✧ ━━ the courts of switzerland present YURI IVANOVICH RURIK of RUSSIA, the TSAREVICH of THE RUSSIAN EMPIRE. the THIRTY-ONE year old had been CONFIDENT and PATRIOTIC before the break of war but have now become IMPULSIVE and CRUEL. HE is often remembered by their likeness to REEVE CARNEY and A SMOOTH CURSE BEING HEARD IN A CROWDED ROOM, THE CONTRAST OF CRIMSON DROPLETS ON SNOW & A ROSARY DRENCHED IN BLOOD. the rumor mills of europe claim that his allegiance lies with HIMSELF & THE RUSSIAN EMPIRE and that he is for WAR.

lmao under the cut i present you the personification of don’t lose your head by six the musical:

HEADCANONS.

ONE. many considered the tsaritsa to be cursed — she only have had one son, and while the court was happy to have an heir, who could be sure that the boy would survive the russian winters ? they wanted more. and after seven years they got what they wanted — another healthy heir. yuri was born amidst chaos and cries. his mother was in labour almost a day before his uprising, screaming and cursing the baby. the russian physicians were worried the tsarista would have another unborn child — their head would roll, in the in the simplest scenario. but when the baby cried for the first time it was like god himself blessed russia. and when yuri heard the stories he couldn’t deny: he did what he wanted in the time he wanted. his labour wouldn’t be different, would it ?

TWO. growing up in the shadow of his older brother was a difficult thing. everyone expect yuri to be like dmitry. responsible, calm, a good child — but he never wanted to be like that. yuri loved to be the center of attention, for the good or the bad. his mother didn’t care for what he did, protecting him from the tsar’s beatings and screams. yuri was her blessed child. he never liked his father; the tsar was cold and a ruthless man, criticizing yuri for everything he did. what could he do if yuri aren’t so interessed in sword fighting ? he would much preffer the academics, the arts — speading time with the small group of painters & sculptors of the russian court were his delight as a children.

THREE. the indifference towards his father transformed itself in hatred after what he did to yelena. yuri was ( and still is ) very protective of his sisters — after all, alonside the tsaritsa, they were the first women in his life. he tried to discuss with his father why he was doing that — but that day, yuri realised his father was a monster in his eyes. a turning point on his life, really. he started to not care about his father’s words and tried to do everything to demoralize him. drinking excessively, having affairs with married women and men of court, missing important events only to be found into a lover’s arms. yuri simple did not care for what his father nor his court would think. they were all monsters — how could they agree with imprison a young girl on her chambers because she was beautiful ? however, he started to love this lifestyle. he was the soul of every party terem palace had and would not think to stop. untill he noticed irina trubetskaya.

FOUR. yuri couldn’t say it was love at first sight — no, it was far from it. irina had grown whithin his sisters, being the same age as his youngest. he was aware of her existence but he only saw irina for the first time when simeon went to war. he loved the belskyi prince; it was a childhood love that persisted for many years, but yuri wasn’t a man of just one — and that’s when irina appeared. he didn’t love her at first, yuri just thought that would be like the other court affairs he had. however, irina stayed. it was the first person in his life that stayed at his side no matter what he did. he couldn’t help himself and fall in love with her — but his notion of love was a twisted one. yuri only knew love alongside material things and when he catch himself thinking about irina when looking with silks with sophia that he realized how screwed he was.

FIVE. his marriage to nagasani wasn’t something he wanted. yuri didn’t want to be like dmitry and take a foreign wife — with twisted view of patriotism, yuri was even more upset when his wife didn’t accepted his culture with open arms. in his thoughts, the only thing nagasani did of good for him was giving him a daughter. however, he would much preffer living as friends than as lovers with his wife — he wouldn’t mind nagasani having lovers and would treat her children like they were his, only if she did the same with him. yuri loves his children — the little tsarevna and irinei. he tries to be a better father than his were to him doing everything for them. and now with pyotr death’s, he plans to legitimize his son to protect him — from the russian court and simeon. the tsarevich was quite surprised when the belskyi soldier returned from the dead — afterall, his mourning was for nothing. but now, older and more mature ( or he likes to think that ) yuri can’t let danger come to his offspring and their mothers.

PLOT POINTS.

ONE. simeon belskyi. one yuri’s first love, now a stranger he doesn’t recognize. he doesn’t now what the soldier wants — but how he can’t seek revenge ? yuri would seek that too, if he was in his childhood love position. but how could yuri not move on when he heard of simeon’s death ? everyone knew that he couldn’t stay with just one person for too long. simeon knew that too — but the tsarevich fears for irina and irinei. however, he cried over his death. more than he ever cried on the deathbed of his mother — it was the first time he lost a lover in such a tragic way, but he recovered. he had to. yuri was a rurik, a man shaped by the russian winters. one day, he’ll confront simeon about what he wants and give his side of the history, but now, he have more urgent matters to look after than a once dead man wishes.

TWO. irinei pyotrvich belskyi. his son. yuri would be happier if he was irinei yurievich rurik and the tsarevich is planning to do that. he knows that his marrige will be almost fruitless — he and nagasani aren’t lovers and probably won’t be, and even if she have bastards, yuri’s pride won’t let them inherit his glories. and by russian law, a woman can’t be a heir. legitimize irinei is the best thing to do, especially now that the prince of bely is dead. yuri knows he’ll succeed on this. dmitry will have to accept that his only heir is irinei — and not his dear little tsarevna, but yuri have great plans for his daughter, too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

MOMS AND DADS GROUP. yuri isn’t the best dad in the world ( but he tries ) and he’s seeking a greater future for his kids, and he’ll try to find the perfect match for both irinei and his little tsarevna.

OLD FLAMES. someone that had been yuri’s lovers when he was on his emo phase, but it ended ( probably on bad terms ) and now he’s ‘ hi lmao ‘.

NEW FRIENDS. yuri don’t have many friends back in russia, so it’ll be interesting to see him have one without romantic feelings for once.

#bgintro #❪ yuri ivanovich rurik ░ ˙˖ 🌙 intro. ❫❫#there's a ten yearl old gap between margot and yuri and i just realized this now

8 notes · View notes

swearronchanel · 4 years

Text

9.01

Ok it took forever to find a working link here we go

1965..

- Omg the ceiling falling on her during labor gtfo

- “Where do we begin? What marks the start of any new adventure?” Tell me, Mature Jenny

- I’m so emo ugh a year ago today (well tomorrow) I moved to London for the semester 😭 I miss it so much..

- THE BEACH BOYS😍 hell yea the tunes

- I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA GIRLLLLLSSSS

- Love Trixie’s robe, I need one

- Here’s her damn electric shaver 😂

- RIP Churchill, except not really bc you know racist, eugenist, etc😂

- You tell em Patrick! He sucks

- The turners now have a cohort of children and now rabbits lmaoo

- Tim’s been sent to boarding school, see ya never bro

- ANGELA SPOKE ?! HOLD THE FREAKING PHONE ITS ONLY BEEN HER WHOLE SILENT LIFE ON THE SHOW SJSJSJS IM SHOOK

- WAR HORSE

- skip that funeral Phyllis

- Terry wants to look after his mom how pure

- I want his camera ugh, wait till I get a vintage film camera

- Ok not to ruin the mood but Nonnatus was demolished once before, this is repetitive (I know the 60s brought demolitions but still lol)

- 7 months in squalor 😭 so sad ugh

- Phyllis to the rescue with some polite fighting words

- The cucumbers on the eyes 😂😂 I love them

- Here comes the tights competition lmaoo

- GORGEOUS GAMS, my new blog name

- Cyril gazes at them? 😂😂 who is looking at ankles? I’m weak

- I love her modesty it’s sweet lol, and I love Trixie who is modest in other ways😂

- Phyllis and sister hilda dancing and holding hands is pure AF

- I really like her, I want sister hilda’s backstory! but sister Francis tho - eh lmao I’m not sold yet

- Fred and his first wife’s picture omg let me rip my heart out, I’m glad he’s got violet now 😭

- But the little moment is realistic, we should see Patrick mention Marianne

- sorry Churchill I’m not mourning

- Trixie’s houndstooth coat is a look

- “Your values which I respect” I love her 😂

- Lucille doing the cross, felt

- Terry and his mom in the flat !! my heart

- Love my nurses showing off their legs even if this is a filler storyline *cough Trixie deserves better 1965*

- I love that Phyllis took the photos, we love a supportive mother figure

- The baby in the trash can I can’t 😭😭 it’s not just a thing of past and it’s heartbreaking

- I love Fred ok, he’s just a pure older white man. There are few

- I forgot Sgt Wolfe existed oops

- Like primrose hill ugh my heart I miss London

- Mother Mildred back on her bullshit and I love it

- She’s annoying in the best way 😂

- Sister Mj 😭 if she passes this series IM OUT THIS B! I can not handle *insert Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development saying I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it*

- Is this Valerie’s bitch ass cousin LMAO ??

- Val pls go see your grandma, I cant stress this enough pls all of you go visit your grandmas if possible, life is too damn short and I know it too well

- Terry is the cutest child omg love him

- “Will he look like me?” Just rip my heart out would you ??

- So is this lady the mother?

- I’m calling it

- HOW DO YOU SPELL LACTATING LMFOAOAOAOA

- sgt Wolfe out here on his law and order detective shit

- What’s up with Terry? he better not die or I’m fighting

- If something happens to this poor kid I’m going to be personally offended

- “It’s not convenient right now” me at anything, everyday of my life

- Lucille is so cute even when she’s trying not to panic

- Phyllis to the rescue, again

- I love babies but this show just makes me not ever want children LMAO

- If I have to get up on my knees to push out a baby, just slice me open

- Idk why but i wish they would’ve wrote Phyllis telling someone she gave a baby away that she obviously had out of wedlock. Don’t ask why I just feel like it could’ve worked?

- Omg the diphtheria in his mouth🤢vaccinate your damn kids !!!!

- “Everything is supposed to be moving forward” FELT THIS SHELAGH! the world seems to take 2 steps forward and 15 back..

- also loving her new hair tho

- “I haven’t got all day” mood af, Stan Phyllis Crane

- “We’ll be whichever of those you need most” Mother Mildred knows what to say

- I’m glad Trixie is there tho

- Miss Higgins is lowkey underrated, she’s only been a gem lately

- “There’s nothing worse than feeling unfresh” true af Trix, I would’ve never survived without indoor plumbing or soap or anything

- Shawty delivered her own baby?!! She’s BRAVE brave

- DID THE PRIEST KNOCK HER Up?? IM CALLING GOD

- “MOTHER Mildred” put some respect on her name

- I smell shadiness in this church

- SOMEONE HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS DOES NOT MEAN A PERSON IS BROKEN !!

- Mother Mildred PLS throw some hands for the sake of the Lord almighty

- “Smells of his chemistry set And clearisil” ahh yes what all the cool kids smell like these days you know 😂😂 rip Tim, not gone just moved away till who knows when

- ANIMATED GIBLETS LMAOAOA NOW THTS MY NEW BLOG NAME

- I love shelagh when she says random ass shit 😂 reminds me of her sister Bernadette days

- But Where’s sister Julienne in all this??

- “And I would feel more at ease if i remained” TELL EM MILDRED

- Not too sound so gen y or whatever us late 90s babies are but this priest is only giving me ~bad vibes~

- The Reggie pic😭 I love it

- Fred adding the newspaper clip to his memory box I can’t take it

- Violet my blue eyeshadow queen, I love it (I’m wearing it again in 2020, it was a look that one time)

- “Family meant no space” 😭 I just want terry to get better and reunite with his momma and new sibling

- Omg Brenda 😭 where is your ex? I will wring his neck out

- Trixie😭😭 the childhood traumas tonight whew,..

- It makes me so sad ugh

- Sister Hilda has a velvety accent if that makes sense lmaoo

- “Do you know who the father is? FATHER” MOTHER MILDRED DRAG HIM! YOU KNOW IT AS I DO

- Omg this little girls arm! help her

- Trixie’s two piece little set is so mid 60s and cute

- “I was running away from something that was hard and it was too easy” felt that Val

- But I’m so glad she’s gonna go see her gran

- TERRY IS OK GOD BLESS 😭

- “Pass the tea cakes to this end” LMAO I guess I am Mother Mildred

- Sister Julienne is like probably like thank God Mildred is finally leaving 😂

- They won runner up! 😂😂

- FISHNETS LMAO I love it

- Aww sister Frances made a blanket, pure

- SLAP HIM WITH THE CANE MILDRED

- it’s her pimp cane😂 I love it when you call me big mommaaaa

- I KNEW HE WAS THE FATHER!!! I AM PERSONALLY CALLING THE LORD TO SMITE HIM

- Violet framed Betty’s photo wow bye let me ducking cry my eyes out

- I love the buckles <3

- So what’s the next move with the demolition??

- “The past is never lost to us, we carry it with us...”

- THEY GAVE TERRY TIM’S BLAZER WOW MY HEART !!!!!

- “...the way we embrace it has the power to change everything” 😭😭

- Aww the Turner babies and rabbit babies

- Ok that was a good episode 😭

#call the midwife #my commentary #well here i am once again haha #taking on 1965 aka 2020 #yes im late af lol american problems

29 notes · View notes

dramaqueeenamby · 6 years

Note

can we getta headcannon of T’Challa, Erik & M’baku finding out when reader is prego?

I started to not do this because ya’ll know I’m strictly a T’Challa girl lmao. However, I figured it could be my way of, ya know, giving back to all of you guys!

BUT I hope someone likes it (especially you, anon, and thanks for requesting it! 😊)

Not even sure if I did this correctly. 😭😭😭😭

DISCLAIMER: My interpretation of Erik is based off how I have him in SB, same with M’Baku.

Erik

It’s not surprising to you. You’d like it to, but with how much unprotected sex you and Erik had….it was bound to happen.

For some reason, you’re scared to tell him. You know he won’t be upset per se, but he won’t be happy either.

You didn’t want any kids until a little down the line.

You wanted to punch him for not putting on a condom and kick yourself for not making him.

Nevertheless, you start to mentally prepare how to break it to him.

Maybe during sex. No. That’s a recipe for disaster.

You decide on dinner.

He’s swallowing down the jambalaya you fixed for him and ready to drink his Sprite when you blurt it out.

He freezes. Then laughs.

You angrily ask him what’s so funny.

“You. You ain’t pregnant.”

You tell him you are.

He rolls his eyes. “Aight, Y/N.”

You want to smack him at that point. “Erik, I’m serious. We are pregnant.”

“Girl, how many times you gon’ keep repeating yourself? I know you not.”

You angrily rise from the table and head toward the back of your apartment. You grab the three tests sealed in a ziplock bag, march back in and throw them at his head.

“Yo! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

He’s irritated but grabs the bag with a smug look until he fingers the content. His eyes are glued to the various plus signs.

“Erik!” You shout as he drops his soda, spitting out the drink as he realizes you’re being serious.

“Your ass is pregnant!”

You roll your eyes. “What gave it away?”

“How the fuck did this happen?”

“We had sex, Erik. We had sex.”

“How the fuck are we supposed to take care of it? Do we feed it or does it come with self-feed and shit?”

“Self….I can’t stand you sometimes.”

He ends up bombarding you with ridiculous questions. You didn’t realize how frustrated you were until he approached you and started wiping away your tears.

“Shit, baby, don’t cry. I can’t handle that shit. Not when there’s no one I can fight to make em pay-”

“There’s a mirror in the bathroom, Erik.”

He ignores you, wrapping you in his arms. “I’m sorry, baby. Really. I just….shit caught me off guard.”

As always and in conjunction with the nature of your relationship, he calms you down, reassuring you that everything is going to be okay.

He even starts thinking of names the very same night.

“What about-”

“We’re not naming our baby after any of your favorite dead rappers, Erik.”

“That’s foul, Y/N.”

M’Baku

You were thrilled. Overcome with joy.

You and M’Baku had been trying for a child for the longest, praying to Hanuman that he would bless your womb.

M’Baku would make a great father. There was no doubt in your mind about that.

He was kind to his people, a great ruler but stern when he needed to be.

You loved watching him sit upon his throne, his broad shoulders carrying the burden of being the overseer of your faction of Wakanda.

At times, it was a bit much for him. However, what you loved about M’Baku was how he much he trusted you.

Laying in bed or sitting on his lap on his throne, he would relay his day to you, ask you for your opinion on disputes he was tasked with handling.

He sought you for guidance in political matters because he saw you not just as his queen, but his equal, a worthy leader who could easily fulfill his role should the day come.

There was an equal amount of respect between you that only strengthened your bond.

You were so damn in love with that man, tears swelling in your eyes as you stared at your stomach in the mirror of your bathroom.

“Love?” You heard him call out from the bedroom, remembering that he was waiting for you.

As imposing and intimidating as he was to many, your husband was, when he was with you, as docile and gentle as they came.

Holding you in his arms, his head resting on your stomach of your full breasts, he had to have some type of physical contact in order to fall asleep.

He just had to.

Shutting off the lights, you sauntered into the room where he sat on the bed, a smile forming on his handsome face as he reached out for you.

“Come, my love. Let us slumber.”

Stepping toward him, his demeanor instantly changed. He noticed your wet eyes.

“What is it, Y/N? Are you ill?”

You shook your head.

He pulled you closer. “Please. Tell me. For whoever has caused you such distress will surely-”

“I am pregnant, M’Baku.”

Silence.

After a while, you could no longer maintain your smile. “M-”

A yell of surprise left your mouth as he enveloped you in his arms, causing you both to fall back on the bed. “M’Baku!” You laughed solely because of the joyful noise that left his mouth.

“Gloy to Hanuman!” He rejoiced as your smile remained, affectionately watching him as he peppered your body with kisses, lifting up your gown to dote over the child that would leave your womb in a number of months.

T’Challa

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

You had not the slightest idea as to why you were so damn nervous.

You sat against the side of your bed, your anxiety causing you to fiddle your fingers.

This was a good thing. Unexpected as you’d only married T’Challa less than two months ago but still....just....surprising.

He’d be thrilled. Of that you were-

Or maybe he wouldn’t be?

He’d just secured the throne after such a tumultuous experience from losing his father to learning of his cousin and what not.

Bast, the man had, for all intents and purposes, died.

Was a child really what you two needed at the time?

Nevertheless, a small voice inside of your head told you that he’d be overcome with excitement.

So why couldn’t you bring yourself to tell him?

You were damn near almost three months along. It was only a matter of time before you started showing.

You didn’t want him to find out that way.

And you certainly didn’t want your loud-mouthed but lovable sister-in-law to spill the beans.

“Woman up, Y/N.” You whispered to yourself, forcing your body off the floor.

You felt bad as you ambled your way across the palace, offering small smiles to the guards and servants you came across.

Do they know? Is it that obvious?

For a second, you literally stood and mentally scolded yourself. Now you were just being ridiculous.

Once you reached your husband’s office, trepidation crept back upon you like a thief in the night.

Should you have waited for him to return to your chambers?

Maybe you should. Yes, you would-

“Come in.”

You closed your eyes. Damn his enhanced senses.

Taking a deep breath, you motioned for the Doras to open the door, welcomed to the sight of your handsome husband completely consumed in his work.

“Sithandwa sam.” His voice was low, drained, yet loving.

“Kumkani,” you matched his volume and walked over, not surprised as he reached out his arm and pulled you into his lap all while keeping his eyes on the paperwork that littered his desk.

“I apologize for missing dinner.” You had to stop yourself from mumbling about how you were happy that he was absent.

You didn’t want him to see you throw up everything that you’d consumed.

“It’s fine,” you assured, reaching out to gently rub the back of his neck, something that you knew he adored.

“Can you not sleep?” He questioned as your trepidation started to extrapolate, your eyes shutting as T’Challa lifted his head.

He peered at you, carefully prying off his glasses, his eyes darting from your chest to your face.

You forced your lids open as he placed his palm against your cheek.

“Why is your heart beating so rapidly?”

You gulped. Fuck, you prayed to Bast that you didn’t vomit again.

“Y/N-”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” You cursed. His answer was instantaneous.

Another deep swallow. “You won’t....you won’t always have to work this late, correct?”

He eyed you warily. You just knew he could see right through that bullshit question, but he played along. “Being away from you is never my intention, Y/N.”

“I know. It’s just-” again, you messed with your fingers, dropping your eyes to your lap. “I don’t always want to get up in the middle of the night when he’s crying.” You felt his eyes burning into you. “Or her.”

Gradually, you lifted your head and met his eyes. Confusion. Recognition. Surprise. Happiness.

“You are sure?”

You felt encouraged by the small smile that played upon his lips and nodded softly. “Yes....I....we’re having a baby.”

A tiny gasp left your mouth before your husband crashed his lips onto yours. You readily grasped for his shoulders from the intensity of his affection, holding onto him as he tightened his grip on you.

“We are having a baby,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours.

His eyes were misty.

Your vision was clouded with developing tears, his joy filling the room, bouncing off the two of you. “We’re having a baby.”

#Anonymous #dqa ask #erik x reader #m'baku x reader #t'challa x reader

431 notes · View notes

amberlovesanimation · 6 years

Text

Open Me Carefully

I recently finished reading the book Open Me Carefully, which is a collection of letters, poems, and letter-poems Emily Dickinson sent to her close friend and sister-in-law, Susan Huntington Dickinson.

I decided to buy it after seeing Emily in a list of historical LGBT+ figures; although we’ll never know if their relationship was romantic or sexual in any way, it is clear from these letters that their connection was very deep on an intellectual and spiritual level.

Of course, as a bisexual female myself, I love to interpret them in a gay way, and below are some extracts that I particularly liked. (alongside my own little commentary now and then, sorry!)

(For some context, both women were born in December 1830)

“I wept a tear here, Susie - on purpose for you - because this “sweet silver moon” smiles in on me and Vinnie, and then it goes so far before it gets to you - and then you never told me if there was any moon in Baltimore - and how do I know Susie - that you see her sweet face at all? She looks like a fairy tonight, sailing around the sky in a little silver gondola with stars for gondoliers. I asked her to let me ride a little while ago - and told her I would get out when she got as far as Baltimore, but she only smiled to herself and went sailing on. I think she was quite ungenerous - but I have learned the lesson and shant ever ask her again.” - October 9, 1851

I LOVE how she describes Nyx the moon in this letter!!

“Will you let me come dear Susie - looking just as I do, my dress soiled and worn, my grand old apron, and my hair - Oh Susie, time would fail me to enumerate my appearance, yet I love you just as dearly as if I was e’er so fine, so you wont care, will you? I am so glad dear Susie - that our hearts are always clean, and always neat and lovely, so not to be ashamed. I have been hard at work this morning, and I ought to be working now - but I cannot deny myself the luxury of a minute or two with you. The dishes may wait dear Susie - and the uncleared table stand, them I have always with me, but you, I have “not always,” why Susie, Christ hath saints manie - and I have few, but thee - the angels shant have Susie - no - no no! [...] Oh my darling one, how long you wander from me, how weary I grow of waiting and looking, and calling for you; sometimes I shut my eyes, and shut my heart towards you, and try hard to forget you because you grieve me so, but you’ll never go away, Oh you never will - say, Susie, promise me again, and I will smile faintly - and take up my little cross again of sad - sad separation. How vain it seems to write, when one knows how to feel - how much more near and dear to sit beside you, talk with you, hear the tones of your voice - so hard to “deny thyself, and take up thy cross, and follow me -” give me strength, Susie, write me of hope and love, and of hearts that endured. [...] Only want to write me, only sometimes sigh that you are far from me, and that will do, Susie! Dont you think we are good and patient, to let you go so long; and dont we think you’re a darling, a real beautiful hero, to toil for people, and teach them, and leave your own dear home? [...] I must leave you now - “one little hour of Heaven,” thank who did give it me, and will he also grant me one longer and more when it shall please his love - bring Susie home, ie! Love always, and ever, and true!” - February 1852

Susan’s daughter Martha said “Her [Emily’s] devotion to those she loved was that of a knight for his lady.”

“Oh Susie, I would nestle close to your warm heart, and never hear the wind blow, or the storm beat, again. Is there any room there for me, or shall I wander away all homeless and alone? Thank you for loving me, darling, and will you “love me more if ever you come home”! it is enough, dear Susie, I know I shall be satisfied. But what can I do towards you? - dearer you cannot be, for I love you so already, that it almost breaks my heart - perhaps I can love you anew, every day of my life, every morning and evening - Oh if you will let me, how happy I shall be! [...] pretty soon I waked up saying “Precious treasure, thou art mine,” and there you were all right, my Susie, and I hardly dared to sleep lest some one steal you away. Never mind the letter, Susie; you have so much to do; just write me every weeks one line, and let it be, “Emily, I love you,” and I will be satisfied!” - February 1852

“dont you go Susie, not to their meeting, but come with me this morning to the church within our hearts, where the bells are always ringing, and the preacher whose name is Love - shall intercede there for us!” - February 1852

“And I do love to run fast - and hide away from them all; here in dear Susie’s bosom, I know is love and rest, and I never would go away, did not the big world call me, and beat me for not working. [...] When you come home, darling, I shant have your letters, shall I, but I shall have yourself, which is more - Oh more, and better, than I can even think! [...] Tis only a few days, Susie, it will soon go away, yet I say, go now, this very moment, for I need her - I must have her, Oh give her to me! [...] he [God] is very kind to let me write to you, and to give me your sweet letters, but my heart wants more.” - April 5, 1852

“I have thought of it all day, Susie, and I fear of but little else, and when I was gone to meeting it filled my mind so full, I could not find a chink to put the worthy pastor; when he said “Our Heavenly Father,” I said “Oh Darling Sue”; when he read the 100th Psalm, I kept saying your precious letter all over to myself, and Susie, when they sang - it would have made you laugh to hear one little voice, piping to the departed. I made up words and kept singing how I loved you, and you had gone, while all the rest of the choir were singing Hallelujahs. I presume nobody heard me, because I sang so small, but it was a kind of comfort to think I might put them out, singing of you. I a’nt there this afternoon, tho’, because I am here, writing a little letter to my dear Sue, and I am very happy. I think of ten weeks - Dear One, and I think of love, and you, and my heart grows full and warm, and my breath stands still. The sun does’nt shine at all, but I can feel a sunshine stealing into my soul and making it all summer, and every thorn, a rose. And I pray that such summer’s sun shine on my Absent One, and cause her bird to sing!” - Late April 1852

I joked on twitter about the gay agenda being to sing about missing your girlfriend when everyone else in church is singing hymns. Because of course they talked face-to-face whenever they were together, a lot of the letters were sent when Susan was away, so they’re filled with Emily’s pining for and missing of her. Later in this same letter she describes how she gathered flowers and an acorn and a snail shell to give to Sue once she returned which is absolutely adorable. She continues to gift her flowers throughout her life and in her poems compares both of them to flowers.

“Our last words were of you, and as we said Dear Susie, the sunshine grew so warm, and out peeped prisoned leaves, and the Robins answered Susie, and the big hills left their work, and echoed Susie, and from the smiling fields, and from the fragrant meadows came troops of fairy Susies, and asked “Is it me”? No, Little One, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor can the heart conceive” my Susie, whom I love.” - May 1852

I love how Extra™ Emily is with her romantic analogies in these early letters lmao

“And now how soon I shall have you, shall hold you in my arms; you will forgive the tears, Susie, they are so glad to come that it is not in my heart to reprove them and send them home. I dont know why it is - but there’s something in your name, now you are taken from me, which fills my heart so full, and my eye, too. It is not that the mention grieves me, no, Susie, but I think of each “sunnyside” where we have sat together, and lest there be no more, I guess is what makes the tears come. [...] we shall not be separated, neither death, nor the grave can part us, so that we only love!” - June 1852

“I have but one thought, Susie, this afternoon of June, and that of you, and I have one prayer, only; dear Susie, that is for you. [...] and when I look around me and find myself alone, I sigh for you again; little sigh, and vain sigh, which will not bring you home. I need you more and more, and the great world grows wider, and dear ones fewer and fewer, every day that you stay away - I miss my biggest heart; my own goes wandering round, and calls for Susie [...] Susie, forgive me Darling, for every word I say - my heart is full of you, none other than you in my thoughts, yet when I seek to say to you something not for the world, words fail me; If you were here, and Oh that you were, my Susie, we need not talk at all, our eyes would whisper for us, and your hand fast in mine, we would not ask for language - I try to bring you nearer, I chase the weeks away till they are quite departed, and fancy you have come, and I am on my way through the green lane to meet you, and my heart goes scampering so, that I have much ado to bring it back again, and learn it to be patient, till that dear Susie comes. [...] I add a kiss, shyly, lest there is somebody there!! Dont let them see, will you Susie?” - June 11, 1852

“And very, very often when I have waked from sleep, not quite waked, I have been sure I saw you, and your dark eye beamed on me with such a look of tenderness that I could only weep, and bless God for you. Susie, will you indeed come home next Saturday, and be my own again, and kiss me as you used to? [...] I hope for you so much, and feel so eager for you, feel that I cannot wait, feel that now I must have you - that the expectation once more to see your face again, makes me feel hot and feverish, and my heart beats so fast [...] Why, Susie, it seems to me as if my absent Lover was coming home so soon - and my heart must be so busy, making ready for him. While the minister this morning was giving an account of the Roman Catholic system, and announcing several facts which were usually startling, I was trying to make up my mind w’h of the two was prettiest to go and welcome you in, my fawn colored dress, or my blue dress.” - June 27, 1852

“And now, my absent One, I am hoping the days away, till I shall see you home - am sewing as fast as I can, I am training the stems to my flowers, I am working with all my might, so as to pause and love you, as soon as you get home.” - February 24, 1853

“Why dont you write me, Darling? Did I in that quick letter say anything which grieved you, or made it hard for you to take your usual pen and trace affection for your bad, sad Emilie? Then Susie, you must forgive me before you sleep tonight, for I will not shut my eyes until you have kissed my cheek, and told me you would love me. [...] I dont know which it is - I only know that when you shall come back again, the Earth will seem more beautiful, and bigger than it does now, and the blue sky from the window will be all dotted with gold - though it may not be evening, or time for the stars to come.” - March 5, 1853

“Will you write to me - why hav’nt you before? I feel so tired looking for you, and still you do not come. And you love me, come soon - this is not forever, you know, this mortal life of our’s. [...] I’m loving you at home - I’m coming every hour to your chamber door. I’m thinking when awake, how sweet if you were with me, and to talk with you as I fall asleep, would be sweeter still.” - February 28, 1855

“Her breast is fit for pearls, But I was not a “Diver” - Her brow is fit for thrones But I have not a crest, Her heart is fit for home - I - a Sparrow - build there Sweet of twigs and twine My perennial nest.” - 1850s

There’s also a poem that begins “Your - Riches - taught me - poverty!” which is pretty gay too so look that up if you want (it’s too long to type on here).

“for the Woman whom I prefer, Here is Festival - When my Hands are Cut, Her fingers will be found inside - [...] Take the key to the Lily, now, and I will lock the Rose” - 1864

“You must let me go first, Sue, because I live in the Sea always and know the Road - I would have drowned twice to save you sinking, dear, If I could only have covered your Eyes so you would’nt have seen the Water” - 1860s

Then there’s a letter-poem that begins “To miss you, Sue, is power” but again it’s too long so look it up!

“I would have liked to be beautiful and tidy when you came - You will excuse me, wont you, I felt so sick. How it would please me if you would come once more, when I was palatable.” - 1870s

“Susan knows she is a Siren - and that at a word from her, Emily would forfeit Righteousness” - 1876 or later

I love how she compares Susan to a siren, whom we all know is the gayest mythological creature.

“To own a Susan of my own Is of itself a Bliss - Whatever Realm I forfeit, Lord, Continue me in this!” - late 1870s

“Sue - to be lovely as you is a touching Contest, though like the Siege of Eden, impracticable, Eden never capitulates” - 1876 or later

“Susan- I dreamed of you, last night, and send a Carnation to indorse it - Sister of Ophir - Ah Peru - Subtle the Sum That purchase you” - 1876 or later

apparently at this time Emily’s handwriting made her “Y”s look like an “S” so the “you”s in this poem look like “Sou”, or Sue :D

“That Susan lives - is a Universe which neither going nor coming could displace” - spring 1880

“It was like a breath from Gibraltar to hear your voice again, Sue - Your impregnable syllables need no prop, to stand” - early 1880s

“With the Exception of Shakespeare, you have told me of more knowledge than any one living - To say that sincerely is strange praise” - early 1880s

Comparing her to Shakespeare!? Holy shit what a compliment !!

“Perhaps the dear, grieved Heart would open to a flower, which blesses unre- quested, and serves without a Sound.” - early October 1883

Emily sent this to Susan after her seven-year-old son had just died. I think it’s very touching how she tries to cheer her up a bit with a simple flower, as apparently Susan shut herself away for about a year after the death, so clearly words weren’t the biggest comfort to her.

“One of the sweetest Messages I ever received, was, “Mrs Dickinson sent you this Cardinal Flower, and told me to tell you she thought of you.” Except for usurping your Copyright - I should regive the Message, but each Voice is it’s own” - 1880s

“The tie between us is very fine, but a Hair never dissolves. Lovingly” - late 1885

Emily had fallen ill around this time so I think the tie being fine is because of the possibility of death, which she believed could not take away their love.

#and that's just a few extracts #Emily Dickinson #LGBT+#wlw #poetry #history

3 notes · View notes

gawaine · 7 years

Text

Code Blue - Chapter 11 - Incoherent Review

I am so excited for this…okay here I go!!!

(Mehak’s CB review, including incoherency, mad theories and other things that made me smile)

Okay wow, even this title has be buzzed.. Nothing..But the Truth? DRAMAAAA OKAY THROWBACK TO THE TAXI SCENE BECAUSE YASSSSSSSSS think about it Mary, think about it…. i’m living for this internal thoughts thing that mary and adam are doing LMAO shelby with the thwacking toby and adam 5ever L O L VINNY “DID THEY JUST HI-FIVE OR AM I LOSING MY SHIT” I AM VINNY i am so giggly right now..this mary x adam scene…ADAM WANTS TO CHECK OUT HER BAHOOBIES BUT IS SCARED FOR HIS LIFE HAHA I have been waiting for this Sarah x VInny x Mary time for so long…THE TRIFECTA eye sexing lmao OH SHIT

RICHARD IS THERE WTF BETRAYAL BY SANNY noooo, i thought this Richard apology was going to go way better, I was excited to have him back on Team Yay :( mary running and crying is hurting me in the aorta i am sad like kajol when she couldn’t go to europe with her friends we are going to call the chicago incident PPP - Potential Pizza Pappi (pappi means kiss in punjabi for my fellow non-desis) mary’s internal struggle with recognizing adam as a real person is amazing you’re amazing okay so, are the intern exams before or after the potential wedding in Sydney? and what chapter are we anticipating the wedding because i have to go iron my salwar kameez and get matching bangles irreversible like liver disease (nods and throws up medical nerd gang sign at you) CALL ADAM, MARY. PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE AND CALL YOUR CUTE AND DORKY FRIEND/FIANCE MARY AND SHELBY OUTBURST DRAMA YASSSS I AM LIVING NO i did not want her to tell shelby it was arranged!!! She could have just said that she meant “proposal” instead of agreement nooo plz dont let this add tension between Mary and Adam unless this is potential build up drama for their big outburst fight where Tilly comes up….I am still waiting for that… adam being so excited about chicago gives me the warm and fuzzies LOL I AM DYING SHELBY THINKS ADAM COULDNT GET IT ON L O L DEAD HAHAHAH oh god i love this gap between brown girl romance and white girl romance lmao the culture gap… ANTICLIMACTIC AS FUCK ok nope did not want to know about nadia and adam and the supply closet but im kinda loving shelby here? like she hadnt grown on me yet but this is fantastic hmm mary and shelby potential friendship could be interesting speaking of shelby, when are we gonna get more shelby x Toby because I SHIP IT actually, i feel like we haven’t seen toby in a while ohmygosh please dont kill anyone plz esp toby ADAM WALKED IN WHAT omg aw adam being curious jealous mary my poor lil baby ily STAY IN YOUR BUBBLE HAHAHAHAH tsk tsk dirty adam ughhh tilly kinda done with her right now, she really needs to get her shit together and also…..kinda move out??? i see bits of you in mary’s internal monologue and i love it THE COVER PHOTO LOL “fuck you shelby” faaaave adam and the toaster my lil cutie oh dr brett is bi? I missed that grown man adam…my little prince ily BOOOM mary rejected adams cheek kiss (insert sound of my heart crashing and breaking) the ONE CURL omg yess confined spaces ( wiggles eyebrows) i just had a pang of panic….what if they get into a car crash?? Please no i love this car scene adam using Sarah adn Vinny’s first names mean the world to me Mary was angry at the question earlier but she just likes him??? /tears lmao mary just blurting that OH MY GOD ADAM “he would live to regret this he knew” OMG DYING lol LEAH AND ADAMS REACTIONS WHEN MARY ACCIDENTALLY SAID SHE CANT WAIT THAT LONG FOR THE WEDDING I AM BOTH OF THEM DADDY AHAHA is mary closer to her mum or dad? does adam have siblings, i forgot ugh the fathers…i dont love the idea of two separate daysssss australia should be the main wedding and the reception afterwards in new york…. DO WHAT ADAM AND MARY WANT hmmmm i mean…i guess it makes sense…. but honeymoon after the new york ceremony or the australia one (serious question but still wiggles eyebrows) INTERNET TROLL OF A HUMAN…. sign me up lol the mother-in-law drama begins praying 4 mary leah adn mary tag teaming with these questions, yasssss poor adam tho NADIA NUH UH BACK TF UPPPPPP THIS DINNER SCENE NADIA VS MARY ADAM CHASE AFTER HER YOU FOOL lol they all look to leah if they make this into a movie, can you ask karan johar to cast me as leah ( or sarah) kind of smirking that adams mom was embarrassed by the nadia thing LEAH IS MY FAVE I DONT THINK ASSKICKING IS SILLY LOL <3 ugh Tilly dont distract mary, if something happens to her while driving i will cry oh than k god it was SHelby i did not want to see the nadia showdown right now i am not prepared oh shelby, with the blunt advice NO MARY DONT CRY BBY I LOVE YOU girl power moment ftw oka yass shelby fix up marys emotions and teach her how to wing her eyeliners so she can be a sexy lifesaverrr THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE I LOVE YOU YOU ALWAYS MAKE MY BIRTHDAY SO SPECIAL AND I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE A SISTER LIKE YOU EVERYONE, HANNAH IS AN ANGEL, PLEASE REMEMBER THIS PS - plz help me with my theories k thx bye

Intern exams are after Sydney! And haha, I’ll warn you prior to the wedding ;)

The white girl romance vs brown girl romance omfg that’s so well phrased... Also, why do you always assume I’ll kill my characters?!

Mary’s probably closer to her Dad... And you’ll have to see about the honeymoon ;) nah, I’m kidding, when Adam suggested Australia last chapter, he said they could honeymoon there!

Leah is A Homegirl this chapter

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, I’M ALL GOOFY AND HAPPY, YAAAAAY :D

#mehak #cb11 #submission

0 notes

morwensteelsheen · 3 years

Text

lmao just saying the words “royal affair AU” scratched such an itch in my brain that

In the year 3018 of the Third Aga, Arwen Undomiel, the Evenstar of her people, sailed to the Undying Lands. In the year 3019, the One Ring was destroyed, Aragorn, son of Arathorn was crowned King Elessar Telcontar outside the gates of Minas Tirith, reuniting the great kingdoms of Gondor and Arnor. In the year 3020, he wed Lady Éowyn, the Wraithslayer, younger sister of King Éomer of Rohan. Faramir, son of Denethor II, was made Prince of Ithilien and retained the Stewardship of Gondor, becoming an invaluable ally to Elessar as he worked to establish himself as ruler.

The early years of the reign of King Elessar were glorious. The receding of the Shadow in the East brought brightness into lands untouched by light for centuries. The people of Gondor, who had for so long cried out for the return of their King, were blessed with a good and decent man to rule them. He worked hard to restore the Kingdom to a level of glory befitting such an ancient and beloved land, and was aided in his efforts by his Steward, loved by all, and his Queen, loved by the people.

Soon, Elessar’s ambitions turned to the East and to the South. The lands that had once been Gondor’s by right had been stolen by tribes of barbarous men, men who had allied themselves with the Enemy in the War of the Ring. Desiring to give Gondor all that it deserved, the good King elected to ride forth to these lands and reclaim them for their rightful owners.

The King was beloved and trusted for his acts of valour in the struggle against the Enemy, and so was unopposed in his imperial ambitions. Unopposed by all except one.

The Lord Steward, Prince Faramir of Ithilien, was a man for whom war had little allure. In his past life, he had fought not for a love of war but for a love of Gondor, and saw that Gondor’s problems — lessened though they were by the labours of the King — would not be improved by the expansion of her territory. Privately, he expressed his concerns to the King, but privately he stood alone. In the first year of the Fourth Age, King Elessar and the Army of Gondor rode forth to Harondor, intending not to return until the desert land was reclaimed in full.

Prince Faramir, whose flaws laid in his imprudent idealism and a predilection for self-enforced isolation, harboured a terrible secret. Since the moment Lady Éowyn of Rohan had stood before him in those uncertain days after the Pelennor, her arm bound in a sling and her face bruised and battered, demanding a room that faced Eastwards, he had been hopelessly, desperately in love with her. She had, for however unaware of it she may have been, been crucial to his healing. When he had learned the truth of his father’s betrayal, it had been by her stern and unwavering hand that he was pulled back from the brink. Thereafter, it was by her grace and her grace alone that he had maintained his connection to the world around him.

When she wed King Elessar, he swore that he would never marry. He was the last, broken son of a broken house, and he would not prolong his ancestral misery by postponing the end of his line. He would fulfil his duty to the King until the end of his days, and then he would pass to the Halls of Mandos hoping that he had restored some dignity to his kin.

In Minas Tirith, now Minas Anor, the Queen of Gondor (who did not hold power in her husband’s absence, for it passed instead to the Lord Steward) began her long months of solitude. Éowyn of Rohan was a woman not unaccustomed to the pain of loneliness and had, in her youth, been condemned to the miserable fate of watching her King uncle and country fall into a mean dotage at the hands of a servant of the fallen wizard. Éowyn of Gondor, older and more powerful, was no less a stranger to loneliness than her past self.

Her love for then-Lord Aragorn had been an earnest love, and it was her desolation at his rejection that sent her forth to the Pelennor Fields where she slew the Lord of the Nazgûl, and the promise of his love that had drawn her from her sickbed in the Houses of Healing and into the light of the new day. Their wedding had been a joyous occasion, a moment of triumphant happiness among many others at the end of the War. But Éowyn soon found that she had desired the love of Aragorn, not King Elessar, and that the life of a Queen was not the life she desired.

She was well loved by her people, who saw her courage and her strength and took comfort in it. In turn, she took comfort in them and became their champion, which was well for she lacked friends and allies elsewhere. The court of Minas Tirith did not take well to the young Rohir interloper, seeing her slaying of the Black Captain not as the single greatest martial act of the Ring War, but as an unwomanly and unseemly abdication of her duty to her people. They could not shun her, for she was the Queen, but they did not elect to make her as welcome among them as they did her husband. Her drawing rooms, when they were filled, were filled not by friends but by those who sought to curry political favour with her husband by appeasing her. She, who had grown up in the shadow of the fell manipulations of a snake, knew all too well what it was they aimed to do, but could do naught to prevent it, so weak was her power.

Her sole friend, the first friend she had made upon waking from her cry for death in the War, was Prince Faramir. When Elessar ruled from the White City, the fair Prince resided at the seat of his house in Emyn Arnen, across the Anduin in wild Ithilien. In those days, she dwelt in seclusion in the Palace of Kings. When Elessar rode out to Harondor, the Prince returned by law to Minas Tirith, taking up the white rod and ruling on behalf of his King. Upon his arrival, the Queen’s life became, however briefly, less desolate.

Their friendship was based, beyond having a shared healer, on mutual admiration and respect. It was not in the ways of those of Gondor to argue with those who outranked them (and oftentimes those who did not) but Queen Éowyn had had little time for such mores, even when she had been simply Lady Éowyn. For Prince Faramir, who was little impressed by simpering acquiescence, the Queen was company unparalleled by any in the Kingdom, particularly since the death of his beloved elder brother.

They found many things to argue about: she, a true daughter of the Rohirrim, saw little of concern in what the Prince labelled the King’s ‘reckless expansionism’, while he, a son of Númenor, was slow to recognise the merits of the simpler lives led in Rohan. In the first few months of Elessar’s reign, their arguments were just that: arguments. As the months passed into years, their arguments, though rarely changed in topic, became something more. When the Queen argued for the single bed-chamber arrangements of the Royal Apartments in Meduseld, her words were not about efficiency or aesthetics, but a confession that it had been many months since the King had last visited her bed. When Prince Faramir complained about the valorisation of war, he was admitting that he wished that his character had stood up in her eyes to the character of the King.

King Elessar remained in Harondor for half a year. During those six months, the Queen and the Steward forged a harmonious accord in the White City. She told him she had grown bored with the indolence of a Queen’s duties, and he had taken it upon himself to show her how to manage the running of the City. It was, they both reasoned when challenged on it, just good sense. The Steward could hardly be expected to maintain the affairs of the City, the Kingdom, and his own princedom to a high standard of excellence if he could not accept assistance. The Queen took well to her new portfolio, enjoying it all the more for the opportunity it gave her to escape the oppressive walls of the Citadel and be amongst people who loved her for her bravery, not hated her for her foreignness. When, in the evenings, she returned to the uppermost echelons of the City, she was greeted with good conversation by the Lord Steward, who, with each passing day, pursued her counsel with greater and greater frequency.

In time, their conversations turned from the political to the personal. Both had been raised in homes where candour had been a liability, and so were equally restrained in what they revealed. At first, their speech lingered in the shallow: complaints about especially egregious lords, jibes about their pernicious wives. One month before the return of the King, when the Queen had been subjected to a particularly nasty castigation for her failure to yet produce an heir, she had sought out Prince Faramir to bear witness to her righteous and desolate anger.

The King returned and all was well. The City and realm had been well maintained in his absence, and Prince Faramir once again crossed the Anduin to his home in Emyn Arnen. In the daytime, the Queen returned to her solar, and in the nighttime, to her empty bed.

For a year, the King remained in Minas Anor, the southern border having been secured with some success. For a year, Queen Éowyn foundered, alone yet again but now haunted by the memory of the days when she had felt not quite so lonely and inert. The whispers in the court worsened. She was barren, they said, because she had been touched by the Black Captain. A suitable punishment for a deserter, but not a punishment deserved by the people of Gondor, and not at the hands of the northern barbarian.

For months she endured the gossip with the silent temerity that had kept her alive under the tyranny of the Worm. Then the news came, at the second Mettarë of the Fourth Age, that conflict had broken out in Harondor once more. The Haradrim had pushed through to the River Poros and now threatened the south of Ithilien. The King, eager to establish the might of his crown, prepared to ride to war once more.

The Queen, who had been told enough times that she was nearing the end of her child-bearing years to believe it, but not enough to pin her self-worth to it, swallowed her pride for her duty to her country. She sought out a private audience with her husband, and spoke the words to him that she had hoped she would never need speak aloud. She did not ask for his love, she did not ask him to turn away from Undomiel, but she did ask him to give her the life she deserved. She could be his Queen and his wife without having his love — that, she had made her peace with long ago — but she could not bear to live a life marked out as a failure.

King Elessar, who was ever a good and honourable man, and who loved his Queen as he loved his people, saw sense in her logic. In the warm spring evening, he took her to bed, and did so every night until, a fortnight later, he marched through the gates of Minas Anor to the far south.

The Prince returned, and with unpracticed elegance they fell into their old routine, she managing the City and he managing the realm. She listened with pleasure of the progress of the rebuilding of Ithilien, imagining (for she had never seen it) the great green glades and verdant fens, the cool, clear burns and the ancient, soaring trees. The house at Emyn Arnen, finally completed, now had a guest house fit for the Queen and King, should they ever desire to pass through. With her hand on her belly — a belly that had not grown or curved since the King’s departure — she teased Prince Faramir about the emptiness of his house, how he ought to fill such a magnificent place with a doting wife and lively children. He demurred, dodging the question with an artful grace whose implication she knew well.

The war persisted, and Steward and Queen did their duty to their King. In spite of the acute demands of yet another extended conflict, Queen Éowyn found herself happy. She rose early and well rested, spent her day among her people, making tangible impacts on the lives of those who she had sworn herself to protect, and returned each evening to the care and company of Prince Faramir. They had made a habit of meeting on neutral ground, taking their dinner and their late night conversation within the state rooms of the Tower of Ecthelion to safeguard against any accusations of impropriety. As the weeks passed and the strength of their working relationship was reestablished, they met instead in the Queen’s apartments, which were both more comfortable and more private.

There, as a levee breaking after a terrible storm, the personal flooded out. She admitted her desperation to fulfil her duty and bear the King’s heir; he confessed his indignant anger that the King had provoked a war with the Harardrim it now seemed they could not win. She spoke of missing her brother, of her guilt at her actions in the war, he spoke of the night terrors that plagued him, of the knife and the blaze.

In the third month of the King’s campaign in the south, when Éowyn could deny no longer that she had not yet fallen pregnant, and found that the thought filled her with relief, not desolation as she expected, she knew there was something more she needed to admit to herself. It had been a long time since she desired to be a Queen, but now she desired another man’s love.

#e writes #farawyn #trying to not make Aragorn look like a douche despite What I Want To Do #incomplete draft

4 notes · View notes