Have you seen The Amazing Digital Circus yet?

If so, what's your opinion on it?

I LOVE TADC! It’s my favorite indie show at the moment! There’s just so much I like about it but my main ones are

1. The setting and execution being unique. A horror-like project taking place in an late 90s/early 2000s digital game is not a new idea and same goes with characters being stuck in a purgatory however it’s how the artists reinvent those idea that makes it new. The digital Circus made its own aesthetic that makes it stand out from other projects with similar concepts and designs. When I first watched the pilot, one of many things that stuck out to me was how new the story ideas felt. I couldn’t think of any other pieces of media similar to TADC beside for surface-level comparisons. The TADC created its own aesthetic and knows what it wants to be and I like it!

2. Soundtrack. Speaks for itself, the soundtrack for the pilot is so good especially Your New Home. That song is very catchy and emotional too. It has such a unique melody, everytime you hear the first few notes you instantly recognize it. It does a great job highlighting the dread and existentialism crisis of Pomni’s situation. I recommend to give it a listen if you haven’t.

3. The characters dynamics. I just love how the characters interact with each other. The majority of the jokes comes from characters’ interactions and dynamics and how well everyone plays off of each other. The best example is Jax with everyone, Jax is a funny jerk who likes bullying his peers. It’s funny to see what creative ways Jax will bully the other people whether it’s being sarcastic and making quips at them, or though goofy pranks and how the characters react because of their contrast in personality. Every character beside Jax is openly stressed or worried in someway while Jax, at first seem like a chill layback dude.

4. The characters differences. I adored the differences between each character from how they talk to their poses. After watching HH and HB, I learned to have an appreciation for character differences. It’s just refreshing to see characters allowed to be different instead of the same tired reused tropes and repeating the same type of dialogue again for every character.

5. Mystery and lore. There is so much to explore in the pilot, it’s make you wanting more. When going in to watch the pilot, I made the mistake of thinking the series will be predictable. I didn’t see how they could make this premise work because by the end of it, Pomni will go insane but then I watched the pilot and was speechless. The pilot does a good job setting up questions for the audience to ask. If Caine lied about the exit, what are other things did he lied about? How long has the cast been stuck in the circus? Who are these people? Are they previous game developers? Who were they in their previous lives? What is the company’s motivation to create the headset? What are the abstractions in game? Are they viruses to the game program? Who were the former cast? What horrors has Kinger seen to be as paranoid and easily frighten as he is now? Do the abstractions still have a consciousness? You just want to find out more about the lore to solve the many mysteries in the show. I find it impressive Gooseworx was able to stir up the theorists because they have admitted in an ask, there are already theories floating around that are almost right about the show.

One problem I did have for the pilot were the scenes containing the Gloink Queen. The pacing of the pilot was fine until we got to her then it was slow. I feel it dragged longer than it needed too but beside that, my issues for the pilot ends.

I can’t speak for the fandom on other platforms but the tumblr one is great! Most of the time everyone is being respectful towards each other and I love seeing what creative theories, AU, fanfics, and art the fans created. The only people causing drama are the anti-shippers, and it’s just dumb. All of the cast are adults, if age gaps ships makes people uncomfortable, that’s valid but they shouldn’t make it into other people’s problems. Gooseworx themselves admitted they don’t care for romance and they don’t want fans in the fandom getting harassed over shipping.

Overall despite what issues I had for the pilot and fandom, they’re overshadowed by the positives and I can’t wait to see the full show and the fandom’s growth.

I find TVD stans who started watching the show during the pandemic (as many did) or ones who were too young to watch the show when it came out generally have the worst takes and be really aggressive and holier than thou when it comes to stanning and opinions that I sometimes think to myself it's 2024, let the fandom die out. I find the Reddit side of the fandom really toxic where someone could get criticized for merely shipping Delena and saying if you ship Delena that means you're immature and care more about tropes than a functional relationship. Outside of the Delena fandom (and some Pickmeishas in the Delena fandom) say our fandom is the most toxic and that toxic couple=toxic fandom and if you try to refute that they use self defense as an example of toxicity which is pure gaslighting. They've gaslight Delena fans into shutting up to the point where Delena fans are quiet or they try to make an extra effort to appease them while they can say and do whatever tf the want without getting harassed. They can think Stefan and Klaus are innocent cupcakes but if a Damon stan think he's not as bad as many in the fandom makes him out to be they let go of all civility. I disagree that our fandom is more toxic. Stelena fans toxicity is unmatched. There was a Delena hate blog (many similar ones, but this was the most notorious one) that ran for years that would not only post hate regularly against the ship and the characters in it but attack the shippers that a Delena fan made a counter one against it that was very short lived and never attacked the shippers themselves and would politely interact with Stelena fans that would start shit on their blog. People use examples like "You have an opinion on a character/ship that I find objectionable against my values." as Delena fans being toxic. Klaroline fans have done many toxic things like threatening Leah Pipes and her family to the point she quit TO, bullied the TO producers multiple times (one of them even apologized because they couldn't take a joke. She even said she's made a similar joke about Delena in the past without getting heat), bullied Daniel and Phoebe for their comments on Klaus's ships, threatened Julie to the point she said their relationship almost didnt get serviced, etc. Stelena fans did things like send death threats to Kevin and Julie after Delena's 3x10 kiss, and made sexist/homophobic comments against Julie and Kevin, but Julie gets much more hate even though Kevin is just as if not more responsible for the things they find problematic about the show. They neglect that fact since even though Kevin wrote many of the things they consider most objectionable in the show all is well if Stelena was endgame instead.

I think every fandom has that one toxic person in the bunch. I find most toxicity in the Stelena fandom. Hate for Delena shippers, hate for Delena, hate for their characters, hate for the actors who play their characters. Generalizations, slut-shaming, temper tantrums, all caps screaming. Whatever makes them feel better about the show because half their ship died and the other half married Damon, Some of them ship Stelena even though they hate Elena, which makes no damn sense to me. That's not to say that I hate all Stelena shippers. I may hate the Stelena romance, but I love the Stelena friendship. More often than not, I come across Stelena shippers going out of their way to hate on Delena posts when they can easily stick to their corner of the fandom. Seeking out Delena shippers in public threads for the sake of spreading their toxicity when they could easily scroll past things they don't like.

I get along with most Delena shippers. I say "most" because I find it hard to lie about the Delena ship when I refuse to lie about Damon. So while it is rare, I could find myself in a Delena debate. I'm the type that sticks to the Delena corner of the fandom. That's not to say that I won't respond to Stelena fans when they seek me out, when they refuse to scroll past my comment because they don't like what I have to say on public threads. But they should know that I'm not someone they can bully via keyboard. I'm older than the average fan, have a great deal of life experience, and I'm a very open minded person. I don't think in boxes because I love my mind far too much for that. I'm not old, but I feel old because I've experienced a great deal in my life. I don't have a problem understanding or relating to certain things, and I'm very outspoken about what I think and feel. Honestly, I'm a loudmouthed bitch that doesn't give a shit. When I argue with fans, I'm less about insulting and more about offering in-show evidence. However, I will insult if I see reason to.

I'm not self righteous. My beliefs are so open that it's hard for me to hate. When I do hate, that says more about what I hate. I value challenges and confrontations because people should never stop learning and growing. There are some things I hate about the show. Things I feel they could've done differently or better. But it's a great piece of work overall. I won't attack an actor or a writer. That's not to say that I won't insult an actor or a writer, but it won't be over a ship. My insults will come off more like constructive criticism relating to what I feel they could've done differently or better. I will insult anyone who believes the show should've had a Stelena endgame because I consider them one of the worst written romances in tv. I can pretty much guarantee that a lot of their fans continued watching past the pilot episode because they introduced Damon at the end. He's the only reason I did. Stelena is the kind of ship that I never would've liked no matter my age, that's how horribly written they are.

I'm not someone fans want to debate certain topics with. When fans debate me about age issues, they have no idea that my ex is old enough to be my father. Fact is, I've always dated older men. At 17, I'd have no problem dating a 24/25 year old man, and it would've been consensual. That's not to say that my parents would've liked it, but at 17, my parents had no say in anything I did.

I'm the type of fan shippers hate and debate while hiding anon, and I have like 50 anons that I still haven't answered. Whether I respond depends on my current mood. I always take requests for my analysis, gifs, or simply my opinion on something. Fans should know what they're hitting when they come to my page because they may not like my response to it. I'll always be a loudmouthed bitch that doesn't give a shit. I say what i say without regard, and I'm like this in every tv show fandom. Delena is my ship and Damon is my character. Fans should take that as a warning lol

Til BTS controls all their fans actions. Megan thee stallions fans have sent me multiple detailed death threats and attempted to doxx me, and only failed bc I gave them Brock Turners address and they were stupid enough to think I'd actually announced my address to a bunch of homicidal strangers on the internet. But I digress. Anyway, I can't hate Megan just bc of her fans, as it's wrong of me to assume she personally sent her fans to harass me into a panic attack. BTS fought her label for butter

That’s terrible that you went through that - ppl on the internet can be awful and cruel.

That being said, if you read the whole entire reply, you would see that it’s not just the fan base I dislike; it’s a combination of BTS’ own racism (antiblackness, antisemitism) that they have refused to apologize properly for, their shallow, performative activism that they are given and take more credit for than they actually do, along with the hostile environment of their notoriously toxic and rabid fan base (which fans of Megan thee Stallion are nowhere near the level of. If you looked up “toxic fandom” in a dictionary, ARMYs appear right beside it. Also Megan hasn’t done anything wrong? Unlike BTS). how they not only cyberbully others and are notoriously antiblack, even to Black ARMYs but perform mental gymnastics to defend BTS even when they are wrong. Also their music hasn’t been great lately... not like it used to be. They are completely irrelevant to my life and no amount of convincing can make them relevant.

I don’t hate the boys as human beings (Jin, Jimin, Taehyung, J-hope and Jungkook are cool and I like them, the other two I don’t care for lol) but as BTS and all the baggage it comes with... it’s just not for me.

(That being said, I do feel sorry for BTS for having that fandom. ARMYs are also notorious for oversexualizing & infantilizing the members & fetishizing asian men. I definitely would not want to go on the internet and possibly run into something like that for myself and I don’t wish it upon anybody else. I always question what terrible things the members possibly did in their past life to have fans like this.)

although no celebrity can control their fans no matter what they say and it’s not necessarily their fault their fan base is a certain way, a quick “Don’t attack others on my behalf! I highly condemn it and don’t consider you a fan of mine if you do” can actually go a long way. Especially when you are known for having a large fan base that is infamous for attacking whomever breathes the tiniest criticism about their boy band. And when it’s important stuff they are calling out like antiblackness from the group, BTS is never held accountable cause their rabid fan base make sure to harass the person into silence.

And I’m sure BTS themselves don’t want ppl hurting others on their behalf and being the cause of many’s suffering either and it SUCKS that their name has to be associated with all of whack stuff their fan base do.

BTS are not their fans and I don’t hate them. But it’s also difficult to see past the explicit toxicity of their large fandom that they are associated with which is unlike other fandoms (except for the Barbz lol I would say they are the only fandom on the same level). If anything I both feel terribly sorry for them and think they deserve better from their fans and resent them lol (and think they need to do better with their activism and apologize for their racism).

I’m also not a fan of ARMYs’ fragility and inability to take criticism or when it comes to BTS or accept that others don’t care for them - much like you are proving to me right now.

for the ask meme: b, i, and z! (prompts for z: anything to do with coolest experiences/i teractions in fandoms, why you think your favorite genres/tropes are your favorites, or what you think draws you to stories- or whatever you want!)

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

okay so number ONE is teahaw. i genuinely did not think i would have any ships for critical role, and i can’t remember any specifics but someone made a post about the sheer crazy coincidence of the way caduceus figured into fjord’s story--and the statue of the wildmother in port damali and her being a nature goddess and fjord being connected to the ocean, the whole stone thing, the absolutely impossible pieces of the star razor and caduceus (and taliesin’s) tireless work to repair it for him, the unwavering trust fjord has in him despite his astounding trust issues--ugh, it’s so good. and i’m primarily interested in shipping them when there’s some element of asexuality in the mix but genuinely they work in so many ways.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

hahahahahahahahahaha YES, OH MY GOD. my blacklist for fandom tags is....long. as far as fandoms go that i was actually in and used to like but have pulled back from/stopped participating in because of the toxicity surrounding them: sherlock, wolf 359, the magicians. those are the big ones. there are way more but i don’t want to cause that much discourse. i was a huge part of the sherlock fandom for a long time and the combination of season four and the extreme aggression that followed it from many fans--for a variety of reasons--drove me out of it. wolf 359 has a history of bad takes and worse interaction with creators, and i used to be a mod for zach valenti’s scs as well as an ama level patreon supporter so the drama was not only visible, it was right in front of my face. it’s also one of the only fandoms where i was actively attacked. the fandom calmed down a lot after the series ended, but i haven’t really dipped back in. and the magicians fandom tore itself to shreds, as any magicians fan will tell you. i don’t think anyone would blame me for that one. (to be fair it’s more the fault of the writers than the fans).

anyway that in mind, there are good and bad parts of every fandom and these are just the ones where i personally reached a breaking point and decided it would be better for my mental health to disengage.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

ooh, good good prompts for z.

i’ve had some AWESOME critical role interactions--cr fans seem to be really good about reaching out :)

a few years ago i emailed julian coster for a tohcota project that was happening at the time, can’t recall the details. i was expecting an automated response or a secretary but i got a very sweet personal message back! i’d mentioned i had had a rough week and he gave me a very cool coping mechanism that i still use to this day. i found out later that he’s somewhat notorious for very sweet and genuine fan interactions.

i think what draws me to stories is family--the creation of it, the recovery from it, the dysfunction of it, the repair of it.

thank you so much for the ask! :)

My troubled relationship with the FB community.

Okay, here goes. As ridiculous as it sounds (because in reality, it is ridiculous) I have taken a rather lengthy break from my writing – both here, on A03 and Fanfiction.net for my health. I have a few significant health problems and for as long as I can remember, writing is one of the few escapes I have – one of my true joys. Now, I’m by no means one of the ‘greats’ in any of the fandoms I’ve written in. I’m always in awe of the talent of some of the writers that I have been lucky enough to read and although I’m not at their level, I’ve been so excited to have the opportunity to have these platforms to share the stories I’ve poured my heart into and so mindblown and grateful to have people not only read them but take the time to leave feedback or thanks.

My love for Leta Lestrange began way back in the very first film when we knew very little about her. But I was starry-eyed from the get-go. A woman of colour main character? She quickly turned into my new inspiration and I was lucky enough to be one of the first Leta Lestrange-centred writers and blogs and meet some other great creatives and like-minded fans in the then tiny Leta loving community. I started developing my first multi-chapter story and (as daunting as it was considering the incredible talent in the stories I had read) started uploading the first chapters to share. A few people started reading my stories and left encouragement, advice and comments that absolutely made my day and I would feel so driven and inspired to keeping going and looked forward to spending my evenings putting together new chapters. My heart would skip each time I got an email saying that someone had left a comment, a review, kudos or notes.  

I was quite naïve in not knowing much about ‘ship’ and ‘fandom wars’ and when I found out that was a…thing, I did my best to stick to safe, neutral content, staying out of the confrontational tags, not engaging in the fandom too much – only to share things I created or liked (what all this is supposed to be about). Unfortunately, no matter how well I did that foreign, poisonous part of the fandom I was naïve enough to believe I could easily avoid by minding my business found its way into my life and quickly consumed something I loved.

PLEASE understand that this post isn’t about the characters. This is about real people. As a young girl of colour, yes there have absolutely been moments where I feel sick at some of the racist undertones in a large majority of the fandom’s depiction of Leta – I am happy to put my feelings on this in a more eloquent fashion in a separate post but again, the purpose of my first post back is about real people.

There are people in this fandom, quite a lot of people actually who all belong to one particular community, who not only are lucky enough to have the free time to create and share the things they love on the internet but also apparently have enough spare time to actively go seeking out posts, stories, works, etc that are centred on fictional characters and relationships that they don’t like (to put it lightly) for the sole purpose of abusing, bullying and degrading the creators to the delight of their followers that have little more than mic-drop gifs, ‘oh snap’s, and ‘#preach’ to contribute. 

This behaviour is disgusting, appalling, unacceptable and harmful.

And of course, not ALL people from this particular, I don’t know the word…’shipping group’ do this (so many are kind, talented and supportive) but enough have that I feel like even if I eventually came to like this pairing, I would never, ever feel safe engaging in that community myself.

I have characters I like, characters I love, ones that I am impartial to and ones I don’t like much. That’s the great thing about fictional characters. However, I have never felt the urge (or had the time or energy) to obsessively track the tags of ships and characters that I don’t like to leave hateful comments designed to make the creators feel unsafe and unwanted in a community in which they are just as entitled to be involved in than anyone else.

This obsessive, abusive behaviour destroyed my love for writing. One of the few things that drew me out of depression when I was unable to physically do much else activity-wise gave me intense anxiety and as much as I still received beautiful comments, I panicked when I received notification that someone had messaged me. 

My story has been called disgusting, dumb, awful, gross etc. I have been called deluded (apparently for not following a canon ship), a crazy dumb bitch, illiterate – just off the top of my head. I found a thread last year that encouraged people to upload new Fantastic Beasts content to A03 asap to get my story off the first page when I would upload a new chapter.  I was torn to shreds on both fanfiction websites after the second film came out and told that I hadn’t seen the movies (I had started my story well before the second film so I had to fill in the gaps which were quite a few). It seemed so pathetic and laughable at the start, I would just make sure I could monitor my reviews and would delete or not answer the abuse I received. 

Eventually though, it become too overwhelming and I found it too difficult to continue – my inspiration was gone and I was emotionally drained. A few times I actually became pale, shaky and vomited from the relentlessness of it. I tried to claw back the thrill and love writing gave me by practicing getting back on the saddle by doing prompts on Tumblr while I was in hospital battling one of my illnesses. I thought it might be nice to take requests from people – a gentle re-entry into my beloved hobby and reconnecting with other fans. I did a piece on Theseus and Leta that I had overwhelming support for. I actually cried when more than a couple people left beautiful messages in regard to my Theseus dying/Leta surviving prompt. A few people left me Newt/Leta related prompts. I got around to completing a first kiss request that earned me an anon informing me that my writing was trash, made them gag in their mouth and I should seriously reconsider inflicting my unwanted pieces on a fandom that doesn’t want them and to keep my shit out of the tag. 

I have seen blogs disappear from it and stories, posts and artwork removed. I was scrolling through Instagram and someone (quite notorious for this behaviour across all platforms) simply comment ‘ew #newtinaforever’ on a beautiful Leta fanvid that would have taken such a long time to put together. Surprisingly, the comments I got that were simply ‘ew’, ‘gross’, etc were more hurtful than the torrents of abuse sometimes. 

Just a few days ago, someone posted something absolutely non-confrontational and innocent about them personally liking Newt/Leta because they found it cute which of course opened the floodgates for abuse and I read a comment relating to people who don’t personally ship the ‘canon’ ship (this sounds so ridiculous now that I’m typing it) as deluded and needed to check into a mental ward. This is quite personal but I am someone who has an illness that is accompanied by psychotic symptoms and I have spent periods of time in a psychiatric hospital (and will likely need to during my lifetime) for my own wellbeing. I felt physically nauseous by this. I feel anxious now disclosing this as I know this will give more ammunition to the people who have not yet been blocked by me and enjoy taunting me but I want people to understand the weight of their childish, uneducated, ignorant outbursts.  

Because of my experience, PLEASE understand that when I say ‘unhinged’ I am not meaning it as a slur, it is coming from a place of serious concern. I think there are people in this fandom that are becoming quite dangerously confused between reality and fantasy. These characters ARE NOT REAL. If I can get through years of one my favourite characters being constantly hated on, written by fans as an abuser, rapist, you name it while far more ‘bad/problematic’ (white) females are adored and shipped with various characters quite harmoniously, and not resort to commenting, abusing or harassing people than you can get through your fave not being someone else’s fave. If your favourite pairing is canon, why are you so insecure about people liking other pairings? In Harry Potter, the most popular fan-favourite ships are non-canon and don’t cause any harm.

If someone writes on THEIR OWN BLOG that they personally don’t follow a certain ship, or they find a character bland or boring, or don’t agree with a casting, or don’t see chemistry between certain actors or like a pairing that differs from your own, JUST KEEP SCROLLING (and certainly don’t go on a witch-hunt by tracking down posts, blogs and stories you know you won’t like).

These are not real people. There is absolutely 0 reasons to be offended by someone saying that they find a certain character or pairing bland (which I haven’t done before). Of course you can disagree but if you are enraged, or offended, or feel inclined to personally attack or threaten A REAL PERSON over their preferences in something make-believe, than please, I implore you for your own mental wellbeing, to seriously assess if this level of emotional attachment to made-up characters is healthy.

I am planning on getting back into my story in time. I would love to get through the prompts and (nice) messages in my inbox now that I’m feeling a little more secure mentally and physically. I do thank all the beautiful people who have taken the time to request things, leave notes and such – I’m only back for them and feel confident that I can work through the toxicity and superiority complexes in this fandom with their support. I will do my best from now on to call out and check people when I see them mistreating others and to have more respect for myself and my work and not tolerate this any longer. I may respond and share some of the less pleasant messages I’ve received if I believe my responses can be helpful to others but there are some that require no response or audience.

I feel very content in the knowledge that I can see a story, visual, video, etc, involving a fandom, character or pairing that I don’t necessarily like and still appreciate the time and effort the person put in and find enjoyment in it too. If you still feel incapable of controlling yourself around people who are not a carbon copy of yourself, please just save yourself the distress by just blocking me instead of wasting valuable time and energy finding new ways to abuse me. I am not a harmful person, I am not an abusive person. I encourage you in your journey to hopefully become the same and if you need to remove yourself from temptation than I applaud that decision no matter how much I cannot personally relate. 

To anyone who has read my stories or sent me prompts, thank your for your patience and encouragement. I look forward to being able to get back into a community I have found such joy in.