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hunterrrs · 1 year

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The moment Evgeni Malkin became a dad, with son Nikita arriving between Games 1 and 2 of the 2016 Stanley Cup Final and weighing in at seven pounds, one ounce, his already-huge heart grew even bigger.

"I remember those first hours after Nikita was born, and it's kind of like someone flipped a switch," said George Birman, a longtime Penguins employee who's a good family friend of the Malkins. "He completely changed and he became such a guardian, a caring person. He's a great dad, he's a crazy dad (laughs), protective dad. He loves Nikita so much, it's unbelievable."

It's been wonderful for Birman - and for all of us! - to watch Geno embrace fatherhood with Nikita, who turned 7 on May 31. With Malkin still a big kid himself in so many ways, it's clear he has a blast being Nikita's dad, posting about some of their adventures to his Instagram account, @emalkin71geno. My personal favorite was the two of them posing in blazers on Nikita's last day of school, captioned, "We are smart and fun."

During hockey season, Nikita loves going to his dad's games, wearing a Penguins jersey and screaming "Let's Go Pens!" with the rest of the crowd. Then, during the summers, Evgeni enjoys taking his little boy to other sporting events, including basketball games, tennis tournaments and, most importantly, soccer matches, as 'fútbol is life' for Nikita.

Last year, Geno gifted Nikita with a Lionel Messi jersey - which he'll surely be wearing even more now that the Argentinian superstar signed with Inter Miami of Major League Soccer, as Evgeni and his wife Anna have a residence in Florida.

"Geno fully supports him, but somewhere pretty deep down it's like damn, Nikita loves soccer more," Birman laughed. "Right now, he's so serious, and he's doing so good, so I don't think it's killing Geno that he plays soccer. He's a great skater. He's unbelievable playing hockey. But at some point, because he was doing hockey in the winter and soccer in the summer, he completely switched to soccer."

Nikita hasn't just inherited Evgeni's athleticism - he inherited his looks. "He looks just like you. It's uncanny, as if you were the same person," Evgeni's parents Vladimir and Natalia wrote in a letter to their son when he reached 1,000 points. "Anna says, there is nothing of mine here!'"

And personality-wise, Birman says that Nikita is competitive like his dad, which comes out whenever father and son play chess.

"When they are playing chess, it gers to the ridiculous point when they both start fighting," Birman laughed. "I'm like, dude, Geno, let him go, or let him win! But no. None of them wants to lose. When they are playing together, it's the funniest thing to watch them. One is like, you're not gonna beat me, you're my kid. And the other one is like, you're not gonna beat me, you're my dad. I'm like, all right, I'm just gonna watch and enjoy."

Well, maybe today, just this once, Nikita will let Geno win. Happy Father's Day to all of our hockey dads!

this was way too cute

#awwww #evgeni malkin #pittsburgh penguins

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ruoyeming · 4 years

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My Top Ten Anime, a chaotic list

This was so hecking difficult, I’m gonna have to do some ‘honourable mentions’ for ones I can’t bring myself to leave out. This list is based entirely on my personal feelings, not an objective assessment of what are logically the best anime. There also may be mild spoilers at points because I can’t control myself. Doing this in quarantine cause I looove ranting about things I like.

10) Attack On Titan

This was the first anime I ever watched, and it blew my mind a bit tbh. The music is iconic, and the animation is great as well. It might have been a bit harrowing for my first experience with anime, but I absolutely loved the story. It’s set in a world where titans (man eating giants) have driven the dregs of humanity to live within giant stone walls. There’s a group of humans trying to research titans, kill them, and protect humanity, and the main character decides to join them after a titan breaks through one of the walls and his mother is eaten. It’s one of those where you think you know everything and suddenly the world gets turned upside down by a new discovery. All the puzzle pieces start fitting together the longer you watch, and you find out that everything going on is much bigger than what it originally seemed (government conspiracy time lads). The plot twists are unpredictable (for me at least) and devastating, and the emotion this series evokes is awesome - you can FEEL the sheer desperation of the characters, their rage and despair as they fight again and again against a seemingly unending enemy. Despite almost every battle being a suicide mission and despite too many losses, the characters keep going out of the human need to survive and protect.

10/10 for brutality and gore, but also theme of hope.

9) Naruto

A founding father of anime. Surprisingly not one of the first I watched, in fact it took me a few years to start. It’s set in a feudal Japan where ninjas are the defenders and servers of the people, and different villages have different ninja styles. Naruto is a young boy with a dangerous spirit sealed inside him which has caused him to be shunned by society (even though it’s not his fault??), and he wants to become a ninja. First off I’m a sucker for the Naruto archetype: dumbass, cocky, obnoxious, but kind and loyal too. Years of solitude and ostracisation as a child mean that Naruto desperately wants people to acknowledge him, and he intends to become the Hokage to prove himself. There’s a huge range of characters and villains, all with cool ninjutsus and different philosophies. Friendship, power, and determination are some of the main themes and it makes me so proud to see my son *COUGH* Naruto progressing and learning from his mistakes. It IS a long boi though and I haven’t even finished Shippuden yet, but I think Naruto captures the essence of shounen anime and is a great underdog story. Manga is lit too.

10/10 for cool battles and great characters.

8) Psycho Pass

One of the earlier anime I watched, and it became an instant favourite for the way it makes you question morality. It’s set in a kinda dystopian future Japan, where a technology called the Sibyl System checks people’s mental state and determines their ‘crime coefficient’ - how likely they are to commit a crime. The main character is a young woman who joins the police and begins to realise that blindly following this system is perhaps not the best way to go about things. For example, they have special guns that automatically kill people whose crime coefficients are over a certain level, but she soon proves that you can easily lower someone’s coefficient by talking them down and negotiating instead of killing them off immediately. It’s got great drama, great government conspiracy, compelling villains, and some really badass characters. It pushes the question of what is right or wrong, and how far technology should go when it comes to justice.

10/10 for sociological debate and horror elements.

7) One Punch Man

OPM is an anime that stands out for me, partially for mocking the tropes of battle anime, and partially for the uniqueness of the main character’s predicament. It’s set in Japan where heroes and villains exist, and the protagonist is a man called Saitama who gained superstrength after doing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10K run every day. However he’s become so strong that he can defeat every enemy with a single punch. Nothing is a challenge for him anymore so he becomes depressed and unfulfilled; he’s still a good man who helps people, but he feels he’s missing something from his life. A cyborg called Genos makes Saitama his master, determined to learn his ways and they become friends. It’s one of the first anime that made me laugh out loud; it’s funny and entertaining, but also shows us that power is not equal to happiness.

10/10 for moral lessons and good jokes.

6) Tanaka-kun is Always Listless

The only slice of life anime on this list and not very well known, however it has a special place in my heart. The main character Tanaka is a boy who dozes off constantly and acts exhausted when awake; he loves expending as little energy as possible. His best friend Ohta looks out for him and essentially makes sure he doesn’t get lost/ be late/die on a daily basis, including carrying him when he just falls asleep sometimes. Although Tanaka seems uncaring, it’s shown that friendship isn’t a bother to him, and he realises that he actually relies on his friends despite saying he likes being left in peace. His friends all have great personalities, my personal faves are a tough gangster girl who’s rude to everyone EXCEPT her adorable loli girlfriend, and a popular girl who’s trying too hard to fit in and starts to become more herself after befriending Tanaka. All the characters share one brain cell, and it’s genuinely a funny anime - I’ve burst out laughing watching it a few times. Also Tanaka and Ohta are extremely shippable if you want to go down that route; it’s said several times in the series that they’re like an old married couple.

10/10 for wholesomeness and comedy.

5) Ouran High School Host Club

Another lighthearted show, probably the anime that’s made me laugh the most out of any. It’s set at an academy for rich-as-heck kids, and there’s a ‘Host Club’ where all the girls go to drink tea with a group of handsome boys. There’s the cunning Kyouka, prankster identical twins Hikaru and Kaoru, stoic Mori, adorable Honey, and princely but obnoxious Tamaki. Haruhi, a working-class scholarship student who is mistaken for a boy, accidentally breaks a precious vase and is forced by the host club to join them to pay off her debt. The group of boys realise fairly quickly that haruhi is a girl, but she becomes a popular host amongst the girls (LOVE the secret lesbian vibes) so they keep up the charade. I think I have a weakness for groups that share one brain cell because aside from Kyouka, they’re all idiots. I also love how flexible the show is with ideas of gender and sexuality despite being a slightly older anime. The daily antics of the host club combined with their personalities is a recipe for comedy, and they’re all lovable in their own ways.

10/10 for characters, drama, and comedy; it’s well-paced too.

4) Bungou Stray Dogs

Set in an alternate modern Japan where some people have secret abilities that can be activated, this anime became an obsession when I first watched it. The cast of characters is amazing and the villains are awesome too. Atsushi is an orphan who discovers he can turn into a powerful tiger, and is hired by the Armed Detective Agency, a small organisation of powerful individuals who fight crime. NEED I SAY ANY MORE?? Many of the main characters share names with famous Japanese authors such as Osamu Dazai and Ryūnosuke Akutagawa which is really cool and something that might add to the story more if I had an understanding of Japanese literature. Anyways the main character Atsushi is kind of a wimp at first (understandably because the world of ability-users is actually terrifying), but he learns to stand up for himself and use his ability to save people. The show’s mixing of dark and comedic tones is perfect to me; one moment a character is off his head on mushrooms and the next Atsushi’s leg is brutally sliced off in a back alley fight (it regenerates later no worries). The plot is really cool and full of intrigue, and eventually you get the whole ‘Usually we’re sworn enemies but we’re forced to become allies in the face of a greater evil’ thing and it’s great! Turns out our main guy and our main bad guy are actually a pretty powerful and efficient team, hoho??

10/10 for supernatural detectives being super cool.

3) Yuri!!! on Ice

Y’all already know what’s going on. Ice skating, emotional breakthroughs, gay shit, HIT ME WITH IT. The story follows Yuri Katsuki, an insecure figure skater trying to regain his confidence, and his self-appointed coach Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor is enthusiastic in helping Yuri train, and Yuri has been a big fan of Viktor since his childhood *throws pillow across the room*. Yuri becomes determined to, quote, “surpass Viktor’s wildest imagination”, and they end up agreeing - through a series of convoluted events - to get married if Yuri wins gold at the olympics (I think it’s the olympics??). Either fuckin way this series has angst, humour, cuteness, and god DAMN did I get invested. When Yuri was doing his free skate my own heart was beating harder than it did when I finished a 10K. Love the vibes and also it’s the closest to full healthy gay representation that I’ve seen in anime for a while. Not much more I can say, but do I really need to say more???

10/10 for GAY and MY HEART

2) Kimetsu No Yaiba (Demon Slayer)

Ok this one’s kind of a cheat cause I’ve read the manga as well which is way ahead of the anime, but FUCC. It takes place in the Taisho Era in Japan (begins 1912), where Demons exist who eat people. Tanjiro Kamado’s family is killed by a demon one night and his sister Nezuko is turned into a demon - but it is soon discovered she’s different to other demons, and can restrain herself. Tanjiro joins the Demon Slayer Corps to try and track down a cure for his sister, while proving that demons are not inherently evil. I LOVE Tanjiro as a main character because he values kindness over everything else, not forgiving demons for their sins but recognising they are tormented creatures, trying to give them peace before they die. All demons were once human - a fact that only Tanjiro seems to remember when fighting them. He’s patient, gentle, and determined - hotheaded and brash sometimes, but he has this vibe that just makes people become his friend/respect him even if they don’t intend to. He befriends two other slayers - Inosuke, an absolutely feral Best Boy who was raised by wild boars, and Zenitsu, a cowardly but ultimately loyal guy. This trio works really well together and Tanjiro is a great protagonist. Don’t even get me STARTED on the music and animation. Impeccable. Kamado Tanjiro No Uta makes me cry every time I hear it, and the water/fire effects used to show the metaphorical way the swords move like the elements takes my breath away.

10/10 for morals, music and animation.

1) Mob Psycho 100

Where the fuck do I start here. This anime is so unique in its style, story, and characters that I think it will always be my favourite. It follows Shigeo Kageyama (nicknamed Mob cause that’s what they call extras and background characters in Japan), a plain boy with incredible psychic powers that explode when his emotions are too high. Over time he’s learned to suppress his emotions, causing him to become socially inept and emotionally withdrawn. His (fake) psychic ‘master’, Reigen, uses him to make money exorcising spirits, making Mob believe that it’s for ‘training’. Mob appears naive at times, but he is so simply kind to people that it makes my heart hurt. Unlike many of the egomaniac psychics that Mob comes across, he recognises that without powers, he is just an ordinary boy. Mob’s greatest power isn’t his OP psychic abilities, but his power to show people they can change, that he can change. He forgives (and eventually befriends) people who have tried to kill him. Redemption and empathy are big themes here and they’re done really well.

The other characters are so well rounded and are also given time to grow, including Reigen - at first he’s a seemingly manipulative sleazebag, but later you see that he is a genuinely good man who has taught Mob many lessons and helped him grow up. This is a core message - Mob’s ability to change is due to support from his friends, not purely his own desire - people need other people!

This is also one of the true rarities in anime where the second season is absolutely just as good (if not better!) than the first one. The music is unique to the show, the ops for both seasons get me litty, the animation is incredible, the jokes are great and although it’s not all about big-ass fights, when we do get a big-ass fight it’s so fucking cool. The fight sequences are beautifully animated and visually stunning. MP100 makes me laugh, cry like an actual baby, and want to become a better person. Idk I could literally write pages on it like the big nerd I am but that’s all I’ll do for now.

10/10 for literally everything.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Given : about a boy who joins a band which helps him work through his trauma. Lovely healthy gay representation and themes of healing.

Samurai Champloo : ragtag trio consisting of two samurai - one lowkey feral and does breakdancing, the other lofty and withdrawn - and a bold young girl. Themes of friendship and journeys. I simp for the lofty samurai.

Cowboy Bebop: jazzy music, bounty hunters in space, 90s anime WHAT MORE COULD U WANT. Yet another group of characters that share a single brain cell. Love it.

#anime review #anime recommendation

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scatterpatter · 5 years

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6! 12! 17! 24!!

6. what’s something you’re most looking forward to in your transition (or something that was your favorite part of transitioning)?

EITHER 1- BEING ABLE TO SING MEN’S PARTS IN MUSIC, 2- GROWING A FULL BEARD RATHER THAN JUST A LIL STUBBLE, OR 3- M U S C L E S

12. what gives you the most gender euphoria?

FLANNELS AND TANK TOPS- the tank top has to be special tho because some make my boobs look huge and i Dont Like That but sometimes my chest looks flat and highlights my arms and makes me look more masculine!!! Also also- backwards caps and having my scooter slung over my shoulder with scraped knees and bruises on my legs because they just- give me the skater boi aesthetic and I looooooove that!!!

17. who’s your favorite trans character? or do you have any characters you headcanon as trans?

I wish there were more canonical trans characters :( Though I loooove Stevonnie(intersex+nonbinary) and Rainbow 2.0(unsure of which label but they use he/they pronouns) from Steven Universe!!!

As for headcanoned characters... *unravels list* Shadow Link and regular Link from Zelda, Geno from SMRPG, at least half of the FNaF/DSaF cast, every single self insert or alter ego of mine, most of my ocs, half of the BatIM cast, and Ethan from Pokemon. All are either trans or some form of nonbinary. Its VERY rare for me to get into a fandom and NOT hc my favs as LGBT XD

24. any trans role models?

JEFFERY MARSH!!! A wonderful role model who just- emphasizes self love!!! I just- Love seeing them a bunch aaa!!!

#phonepastrys

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fourthlinefic · 6 years

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Diversions Parts 1&2

pretty sure the links for these are dead since I changed my url and ppl have had trouble finding them so I’m re-uploading parts one and two together just bc it’s easier than faffing with html

Part 1

“How big d'you think his rig really is?”

Kris almost choked on a mouthful of Gatorade. He turned to Sid, sat next to him up on the half-boards. He was tracking Jamie as he ran drills with Olli and Mike, up and down the ice. Sid’s eyes were dark and focused as he followed his movements. Kris recognised that look.

“You’re so fucking predictable,” he said, shaking his head.

“I just know what I like,” Sid shrugged, tapping the blade of his stick against Kris’ shin pads.

“He checks a lot of boxes.”

It was a figure of speech, but Kris really wouldn’t put it past Sid to have a literal checklist somewhere; a list he consulted before deciding if someone was worth sleeping with. He wondered what the pass mark was. Eighty seven percent?

“Stop laughing at me.”

“I’m just wondering what’s on your checklist,” Kris grinned. “Besides the obvious of course.’

“You’re so full of crap,” Sid huffed, but he was smiling despite himself.

They watched the drill for a few moments in relative silence. Kris had to admit, Jamie was a good skater, graceful in his own way and apparently unplagued by the coordination issues that seemed to bother a lot of the taller guys in the league. Kris reckoned it’s because their feet are so far from their brains - it takes too long for the signals to get through. Occasionally, Jamie would glance their way. At first he had seemed unnerved by their scrutiny, fumbling the puck whenever it clacked against his stick, but now he was meeting Sid’s gaze with open interest.

“Think he’d go for it?” Sid asked after a bit, aiming for nonchalance but undermining himself with the intensity of his gaze. Kris rolled his eyes.

“I think there’s no harm in asking,” he answered. “There’s just one thing.”

“What.”

“He’s not Russian.”

Sid tipped his head back and groaned. “One time. I kiss one Russian guy in a bar one time and I never hear the end of it.”

“Sid, I’m pretty sure the only available Russian you haven’t made out with yet is Geno. And that’s not for lack of trying.”

“Don’t remind me,” Sid sighed. “Oh, they’re finishing up.”

Jamie was skating towards them, flushed and sweaty and with Olli at his heels.

“Nice work, boys,” Sid called, captain voice echoing across the ice. “Looking good out there, Jamie.”

Olli caught Kris’ eye from behind Jamie, a question in the tilt of his eyebrows and the look he cast between Sid and Jamie. Kris nodded. Olli rolled his eyes.

“Thanks,” Jamie said as he passed them, a faint smile on his lips. He was a good looking kid, a little scruffy round the edges sure, but Kris could see why someone might be into that. Olli just nodded at Sid and Kris in turn, accepting the stick taps to his ass with dignity and grace. The two captains watched their retreat and Kris heard Sid suck in a breath through his teeth when Jamie had to visibly duck to go through the doorway.

“I’m going to climb him like a tree,” he said.

Kris just nodded. “Live your dreams, man. Live your dreams.”

Part 2

You had to hand it to Sid; once he’d made his mind up about something, he didn’t hang around.

“Subtlety really isn’t in your vocabulary, is it?” Kris said, eyeing the row of marks down Sid’s neck. Already kitted out, he loomed over where a half dressed Sid was sat in his stall. Sid just looked up at him, hazel eyes wide and innocent. It was the look he gave journalists, like butter wouldn’t melt.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.

“Maybe I should ask Jamie then,” Kris said, jerking his head across the room to where Jamie seemed to be having a similar conversation with Olli. The guy was slowly turning bright red, and probably hearing all about how Sid had a tendency to throw himself at any guy six foot three and over.

“I think Olli’s embarrassing him enough,” Sid shrugged, pulling on a skate. “Leave him alone.”

“What you asking Jamie?” Geno cut in. He was barefoot, only half in his pads and the rest of his equipment in disarray behind him.

“Just wondering what it’s like being so tall,” Kris said. “Sid’s curious.”

Geno frowned. “Could just ask me,” he said. “I’m tall.”

“Yeah, but Jamie’s taller,” said Kris. “And you know what Sid’s like when it comes to big guys.” he stepped quickly back to avoid the sharp kick Sid aimed at his shin. He still managed to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively, determined to get the full meaning across, despite the attempted grievous bodily harm. Geno was pouting now, probably working himself up for an epic sulk, as he always did when confronted with the fact that Sid, despite all public appearances, actually did have a sex life.

“Too tall,” he muttered, heading back over to his stall, presumably to find his socks. Kris could almost see the thunder clouds gathering over Geno’s head and despaired at how two people could be so oblivious.

“What’s up with him?” asked Sid, as if to prove Kris right.

“He’s just jealous.”

“I guess he has been the tallest guy on the team since forever,” Sid said, but he sounded distracted, a half smile on his face. Kris turned to find what had captured Sid’s attention and was confronted with the sight of Jamie’s back. Thin parallel lines ran down the length of pale skin, the pink of the scratches standing out in stark contrast against his Canadian complexion. Criss.

“You harlot,” Kris tutted, whacking Sid in the shin with his stick. He wasn’t the only one who noticed - Reavo let out an ear-splitting wolf whistle which set the rest of the guys off chirping once they found the source of disturbance.

“You’ve got a wild one there, big guy,” Cole laughed. “You dating a chick or a wolf?”

Jamie at least had the common sense to just laugh and shrug it off.

“I wouldn’t call it dating,” he said, setting off another round of catcalls.

“What’s she like?” someone asked, Kris thought it might have been Kuhni.

Again, Jamie shrugged, eyes fixed downwards on his kit. “Cute. Kinda short. it’s a new thing, nothing too serious.”

Sid laughed and while he was clearly enjoying watching the new guy squirm under scrutiny, Kris figured it was time to head this off.

“Alright, boys, enough gossiping,” he called over the cacophony. “Leave him alone before he says something he regrets, eh.”

There was a general grumbling but they all eventually turned back to their stalls, filtering out towards the ice when they were ready. Kris caught Sid’s shoulder as he went to make a move out the dressing room.

“You should be nicer to him,” he said, pitching his voice low so that only Sid would be able to hear him.

“I’m very nice to him,” Sid smirked, and even that was probably more information than Kris wanted. He sighed.

“You know what I mean.”

Sid pursed his lips, his face shutting down. “Montreal’s just rumours, Kris. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know, just. Be careful. You can be pretty intense, just don’t. Don’t scare him off ”

Sid didn’t speak for a long second, staring at nothing in particular in the way he was known to do. It was like his brain put everything else on pause while it figured out how to do a normal human interaction. He finally shook out of it and gave Kris a small smile.

“Who knew giving you an A would turn you into such a responsible adult,” he said. Kris punched his arm.

“I’m very responsible, you’ve just never seen it,” he scoffed. Which was mostly true. “Come on, I wanna see how many times Geno’s gonna try and board Jamie this practice.”

“You know, I don’t think he likes him but I can’t figure out why,” Sid frowned as they headed out to the ice.

“It’s truly a mystery,” said Kris.

Clueless. Absolutely clueless.

#diversions #big rig n sid #my writing #hockey rpf

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nomorelonelydays · 6 years

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omg my cousin works at a rink--like one of the few good rinks on that town. allegedly there was some weird rivalry between the figure skaters and the hockey team? FSers thought hockey players are just brute jocks with no redeeming qualities, hockey players think figure skating is not a real sport. Imagine figure-skater Sid developing a crush on hockey player Geno. He likes to sneak to his practice early to see Geno on the ice, barking orders like the handsome captain he is (1/2)

(2/2) taking care of his rookies and having fun. But then Sid heard all sorts of rumors about Geno being a jock and demean figure skating, and Sid's heart is broken before his love can begin. Geno, meanwhile, left something on the rink one day and saw Sid doing a perfect quad loop after his hockey practice, and he was like, that's an angel. He looks so beautiful and ethereal, there's no way he's interested to a dumb hockey boy like Geno.

oh man. oh man oh man..... this is big love

#ask bee

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smollandtoll · 6 years

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HC: AU in which Geno went #1 in the draft to Washington and Ovi went #2 to Pittsburgh

So, we just dream of Sid being best friends with Ovi, and Ovi being like "Come out of shell, Sidney Crosby" and getting him to be a bit more goofy a bit sooner in their time together. Sid would talk Ovi out of that weird mirrored visor and Ovi would talk him into coloured skate laces.

And then of course Geno being like this dark horse mystery leader from the Caps (mostly mysterious because he can't speak English) but actually his looks make everyone swoon. The Caps led by Geno and Nicke, what does that team look like? Are they strategy masters? But then, whenever Geno gets all fired up Nicke just says "I'm not the boss of you, you're not a child, figure it out." and Geno has to get his shit together/emotions in check sooner. He also probably definitely needed to learn English faster.

The fic in all our hearts has Sid and Geno in some kind of correspondence based courtship that's also kind of hate fucky.

A conveniently provided connection between the two (OVI) maybe: “...Here's contact info for someone who understands the stress you're under!” and Sid is like: “which captain is this??” and then he finds out it's Geno but it's too late because even though he hates him irl he's pretty funny over text.

Ovi taking SO MUCH GLEE in their precarious relationship that is one part rivalry one part sexual tension:

"You are in love with Zhenya. oh boy."

Sid just being like "NO. I HATE HIM. I JUST. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO ATTRACTIVE. AND GOOD AT EVERYTHING. HE HAS SUCH SOFT HANDS, AND HE'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SKATER. IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO THROTTLE–"

"His dick???"

Meanwhile Ovi is making popcorn, conniving with Flower and Tanger and Duper. When Flower and Tanger get whiff of Sid crushing on Geno: "Dude, we already have one borderline psychotic Russian...we DON'T NEED ANOTHER!!!"

Imagine All Star Games with the three of them S&G bickering, Ovi’s just eyes going PING PING PING PING PING back and forth between them like ‘this is what I live for, this is better than the bachelor.’

When the 2010 Olympics happened, and Sid shyly going to visit the Russians to exchange some words with Ovi and Geno is just THERE LOOMING ATTRACTIVELY.

Then they would keep seeing cute media stuff of each other skating with kids and visiting hospitals and things...and Sid would keep seeing pictures of Geno with animals and keep trying to pretend he hates him while Geno just gives up all pretences and pines from afar - because that’s how he do.

Eventually it’s going to reach a boiling point though, their rivalry is intense and bloody and part of that is just Geno always says the EXACT WRONG THING because English is SO HARD, FUCK and Ovi is just cackling from the wings always and Sid taking it totally the wrong way and raging to his friends about WHAT AN ABSOLUTE DICK Geno is. And that would only frustrate G more, causing him to make even more sloppy plays and say things he doesn’t mean because he’s all fired up - it’s a vicious circle.

Then it just gets to a point where everyone is a little scared they're actually going to kill each other and Sid is like "This can't go on this isn't the narrative I want to have, this isn't who I am!"

It’s definitely going to end in some Mr and Mrs SMITH LEVEL DESTROYING THE HOUSE KIND OF SEXCAPADES. Sid's just like: "We're in DC. Ovi give me Geno's address I'm going to work this out once and for all."

Ovi just pauses hard, “Wait you have knives? Gun? No? Okay you safe” LONG PAUSE “...wait” *tucks condoms in pockets* “Okay now you safe, Godspeed Crosby.”

Sid rolling up to Geno’s masive fuckin house, somehow getting past the gate (do they all have gates? Maybe that’s a Pittsburgh/fic thing) pounding on the door and when Geno sleepily opens the door and blinks down at him just launching into: "WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO. DO YOU WANT TO PUNCH ME? HUH? FINE, DO IT, TAKE A SWING BUDDY. DO I GOTTA LOSE SOME TEETH? OR?"

All dopey Geno can think is omg he's so mad and just begging me to punch him and...uh...does he want me to punch him???? he's yelling so much okay, fine maybe if I listen to him he will hate me less? and then just slugs him and then it's on.

And Sid just…“You HIT me!” So Sid gets all RILED AND PISSED because ...Ovi always said Geno was just pigtail pulling and was actually a really gentle soul but just didn't know how to be an adult and deal with his crush in a productive mature manner, but that didn’t feel like a crush. THAT WAS A FIST. So Sid’s at his complete WITS END is like GLOVES OFF and launches himself at G and Geno's just thinking omfg because Sid OUTWEIGHS HIM and they go crashing through the doorway into the house for a knock down drag out.

“Oops I knocked into your framed Lemieux jersey and broke the glass, oops was that your 7-foot statue of alien?”

“OWE ME NEW DRYWALL, ASS”

They fight a lot and probably between throwing vases and scuffling through doors and taking out drywall and knocking paintings off walls and pulling hair they're yelling obscenities and:

"YOU JUST SO GOOD AT HOCKEY. BEST. MAKE MAD! I'M SCORE BUT EVERYONE SAY SID, SID SID"

"I CAN'T HELP WHAT THEY WRITE ABOUT ME. I WISH THEY DIDN'T."

"YOU DESERVE."

"YOU DESERVE IT TOO, YOUR LAST GOAL IN DETROIT WAS BEAUTIFUL."

"ALL YOU GOAL BEAUTIFUL. SID BEAUTIFUL, TOO PRETTY, BEST ASS."

And then they bang like a screen door in a hurricane

/cut to an hour or two later

Geno: have so many condoms?

Sid (blushing): Ovi wanted me to be prepared?

Geno: I'm kill him

Sid: Get in line. But I mean...I guess he was right...right?

Geno: Can't tell him!! Never stop brag!

#sid/geno #headcanons from the icy void #convenient russian friends #hockey rpf

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carey-pricemas · 7 years

Text

Forever- Sidney Crosby (Mom and Dad Part Five)

Here we are guys! The finito of the Mom and Dad series! Kinda sad and bittersweet to be honest, but this is a good end for it! Don't worry I have more Sids in the line up! Anyway... enjoy!

Warning: none

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This seemed like a much better plan in your head.

Today was an optional practice day, but Sid being the man he is wanted to be there.

Therefore your daughter was tagging along to work with you.

Sid promised he'd take her with him so you could work with the half of the team that was out on injury to try and get them back for playoffs, but of course your daughter didn't want to go skating with daddy today, so you had a mini Sid following you around, getting under your feet and generally just causing mayhem.

Why oh why did you give the babysitter the day off?

"Mommy" she said, tugging on Sid's sweatshirt. It was the only one in the house that would fit over your pregnant belly anymore.

God you were going to kill Sid.

"What baby?" you asked.

"I'm booooooooooooooored" she sang. Olli chuckled. "What's funny, Uncle Olli?"

"You're ihana" he said with a grin.

"Ohana means family!" she said proudly. You laughed.

"Someone's seen too much Lilo and Stitch" you teased. Your daughter shook her head at you, eyes wide. "He said ihana sweetie. It's Finnish for..." you trailed off, looking at Olli.

"Means adorable" he said. "You're too cute."

"That's what daddy says too!" Olli laughed.

"He also calls you princess. He's whipped!"

"What does whipped mean?" she asked.

"Yeah, Uncle Olli, what DOES whipped mean?" you teased, waiting to see how the Fin would escape this one. Olli looked at you wide eyed before turning back to your daughter.

"Um..."

"It mean no longer man" Geno said, entering the conversation as he picked her up. You rolled your eyes at Geno. "Sid not big scary man no more."

"But daddy chases the monsters away!" your daughter exclaimed. Olli quickly left the room, before the conversation turned back to him. You shot him a look, but he just waved and went on his way.

"Sid only good for monster. No good on ice."

"Daddy skates really good though, Uncle G!"

"Sid skate ok. I'm better skater. Sid fall and cry."

"And this is where mommy is going to cut the conversation off" you interjected.

"Mom's no fun" Sheary teased from behind you. You held up your hand behind your back and flipped him off. Sheary laughed. "Naughty mommy!"

"Mommy's fun!" your daughter proclaimed. "And she was only naughty once but daddy took her to their room after I went to bed and-"

"OKAY!" you cut off your daughter, cheeks bright red. The men laughed as you put your face in your hands.

"Everything ok in here?"

"DADDY!" your daughter screeched, wiggling in Geno's grip. He set her down and remained bent over, attempting to catch his breath. Sid caught her as she flung her little body at him and hoisted her up.

"What's going on?" Sid asked, once again turning to you. You shook your head still bright red and headed for your desk.

Or the nearest wall to put your head through.

"She was just telling us about the time mom was n-na-" Sheary couldn't finish his sentence. He was laughing too hard. Sid looked at you. You couldn't meet his gaze so he turned to look at his precious daughter.

"Uncle Conor said mommy was naughty and I said there was only one time after I went to bed that-"

"OKAY!" Sid said, cutting her off. "I figured it out now. Thanks, princess." She beamed at him as you continued ignoring the men around you.

"Everybody out" you said.

"But mooooooooooooom" Bones said, still giggling. You shot him a look and he laughed harder. He looked at your daughter.

"Hey, princess." She looked at him and grinned. "How naughty was mommy that day?"

"Don't answer that" you and Sid told her simultaneously. She looked between you before shrugging.

"Out!" you commanded, ushering them out. "Don't come back you're all fired. I quit. Whatever keeps you nosey hooligans out!" The boys laughed and wandered down the hall.

"Bye mom! Bye dad!" You looked at Sid and shook your head.

"We're never going to get rid of those names now." Sid laughed and wrapped his free arm around your waist, his hand resting on your belly.

"Not from the boys and certainly not from these two." Sid pressed a kiss to your temple. "Love you mom."

"Love you too dad."

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There you have it! What did you guys think? Let me know! Up next: Curtis Lazar!

#sidney crosby #sid the kid #sid #pittsburgh penguins #nhl imagines #nhl imagine

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fourthlinefic · 6 years

Text

Diversions I

“How big do you think his rig really is?”

“You’re so fucking predictable,” he said, shaking his head.

“I just know what I like,” Sid shrugged, tapping the blade of his stick against Kris’ shin pads. “He checks a lot of boxes.”

“Stop laughing at me.”

“I’m just wondering what’s on your checklist,” Kris grinned. “Besides the obvious of course.’

“You’re so full of crap,” Sid huffed, but he was smiling despite himself.

They watched the drill for a few moments in relative silence. Kris had to admit, Jamie was a good skater, graceful in his own way and apparently unplagued by the coordination issues that seemed to bother a lot of the taller guys in the league. Kris reckoned it’s because their feet are so far from their brains - it takes too long for the signals to get through. Occasionally, Jamie would glance their way. At first he had seemed unnerved by their scrutiny, but now he was meeting Sid’s gaze with open interest.

“Think he’d go for it?” Sid asked after a bit, aiming for nonchalance but undermining himself with the intensity of his gaze. Kris rolled his eyes.

“I think there’s no harm in asking,” he answered. “There’s just one thing.”

“What.”

“He’s not Russian.”

Sid tipped his head back and groaned. “One time. I kiss one Russian guy in a bar one time and I never hear the end of it.”

“Sid, I’m pretty sure the only available Russian you haven’t made out with yet is Geno. And that’s not for lack of trying.”

“Don’t remind me,” Sid sighed. “Oh, they’re finishing up.”

Jamie was skating towards them, flushed and sweaty and with Olli at his heels.

“Nice work, boys,” Sid called, captain voice echoing across the ice. “Looking good out there, Jamie.”

Olli caught Kris’ eye from behind Jamie, a question in the tilt of his eyebrows and the look he cast between Sid and Jamie. Kris nodded. Olli rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to climb him like a tree,” he said.

Kris just nodded. “Live your dreams, man. Live your dreams.”

#hockey rpf #sidgeno #except not really #crosby/oleksiak #ish #these tags are just lies #this entire thing is dumb #and i am very tired

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