Moment of appreciation for this man

THIS MAN!!!!🗣♡♡💓💓🤭

AAAAHHHHHH I LOVE COLAS!!!!!!!!!!!! His smile is adorable!!! His drawings are incredible!! His videos make me smile again after a crappy day :)

Ps: My favorite YouTubers are: Squeezie, Colas, Feldup, JDG (Joueur du grenier) and also Joyca

1, 6, 12, 39

get asked things, dork (affectionate

welp, get your reading glasses out everyone

1: 3 things that shaped me into who i am

-1: luck. from the classic things like being born in a wealthy western country, being white (not inherently lucky but made me privileged/safer), having a relatively nice familly with no financial struggle, etc, to smaller stuff. like, it's a miracle i was never bullied in school. if it wasn't for that one person, maybe i would've died. i had free access to the internet since i was like 9, and somehow never stumbled on stuff that was inapropriate for my age

i consider myself quite lucky, despite all the hardships

-2: being trans. sorry to the people who think it's cringe when we make it our whole personnality, but it is litteraly so important. so central. i cannot fathom what i would be like if i weren't trans. that's just not the same person

-3: having weird ass parents. by that i mean that they're almost not like parents, more like... people i lived with that cared for me? i of course mean that in the sense that i don't have any special emotional attachment to them and all, but also that it doesn't feel like they raised me because they transmitted so little to me. my way of seeing the world, my hobbies, my fears, my political opinions, my general knowledge, my understanding of myself and others, my skills, i got them from, well, not them. the internet school, my friends, but not my parents. truly, i don't really know these people

6: best and worst part of being online

i've been here most of my life, so all the bad is just part of it. yes, that's where all the haters are. sure, all of the horrible things in existence can be found here. but that's also where my friends are. that's where community is. that's my only way of accessing at least 50% of what makes me happy. it has taught me so much about the world and myself, has held so many fulfilling experiences for me

if i had to choose 1 worst, i'd say transmisoginy i guess? i dunno, girl, i'm not even popular enough to get hate mail

12: a piece of advice i'd like to give

like i said in a previous post of mine i'm just 18. i'm like a baby. i feel like the least qualified person on earth to be giving advice. but i'll say one thing: advices are kinda bullshit. in essence they're opinions you think will be helpfull to someone else. but in my experience, they rarely are, especially when talking about life choices, mental health and the such. i watched hundreds of hours of self help videos, listened to people, went to therapy, and i felt like a fucking moron. i knew all the things, i had the advice, but it wasn't working. in the end, what helped me crawl out of the pit is time, love, and a bunch of stuff i'll never know about. find what works for you and ditch what doesn't; it's not because a piece of advice is true that it is helpful. searching for your solution will probably work better than just trying to apply the solutions others found

39: a youtuber i'm obssessed with

hard and specific

brennan lee mulligan? absolutely obssessed. a youtuber? not really

thegreatreview (he's french)? amazing youtuber. so fucking talented. obssessed? not really

dougdoug? obssessed by his entire cinematic universe for a while now. a youtuber? maybe 50%? it's all twitch streams highlights

john and hank green? ok i'll stop there

let's settle for brian david gilbert then, the man so nice they named him thrice. please buy his bed.

most well known for his Unravelled series on Polygon's channel, like the one about the sonic bible or the one about the smash bros osha violations, his personnal stuff is simply perfect, sometimes whimsical, like "i wish that i could wear hats" or "Pumpkin Cowboy", sometimes horrifying, like the one about the american healthcare system or "Teaching Jake about the Camcorder, Jan '97", often a mix of both, like "we like watching birds" or "earn $20K EACH MONTH by being your own boss". his comedic genius is at its best when it is also at its weirdest. he's also the guy who made the sibling dance song, i guess

Ta-Da! List: Tuesday, May 7th

The image was made in Canva; check it out at the [referral] link here!

I share my “Ta-Da! List” every day so everyone gets a daily update and I have a reminder of what I’ve accomplished.

To learn more about “Ta-Da! Lists”, and other ADHD life hacks, check out @adhdjesse’s book Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD.

Abbreviations

- O&T: Opinions & Truth Blog - IG: Instagram - TDL: Ta-Da! List - BMAC: Buy Me a Coffee

Ta-Da! List

✧ throughout the day: - kept emails manageable - loaded the dishwasher - filled out today’s TDL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the mobile phone: - YouTube: watched Cinema Therapy’s video “Therapist Reacts to RATATOUILLE” - Hive: shared today’s TDL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the bedroom setup: - O&T: shared today’s TDL to IG ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the office setup: - O&T: shared today’s TDL, making it post number 1,151, and Pinterest - Research: transferring WordPress blog to another platform ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ chores and miscellaneous: - Gaming: played “Final Fantasy XIV”; “Hades II” - Chores: checked the mail - Food: had coffee and oatmeal for breakfast; had leftover Rudy’s for lunch; cooked hamburgers and french fries for dinner; had Oreos and milk for dessert - YouTube: watched: 1. Leeja Miller’s videos “America’s Homelessness Crisis Is Worse Than Ever”, “Political Violence is Ruining Democracy”, “Why Do Conservatives Hate Feminism?”, “The Manosphere to Alt-Right Pipeline (we should all be talking about this)”, “How Trump Uses Fear to Win Elections”, “Why You Need To Talk To Republicans”, “Why Are Conservatives So Obsessed With Trans Kids?”, “He Just Gets Stronger With Each New Indictment | THE CULT OF DONALD TRUMP”, “The Woman Who Took On The Religious Right (And Died)”, and “THIS Is Why Americans Are So Obsessed With Guns (It’s not what you expect)” 2. How to ADHD’s video “Let’s Talk About ADHD and Trauma” 3. Upper Echelon’s video “The Helldivers 2 Fiasco — How Sony Got Destroyed” 4. illymation’s video “Times I should’ve realized I was autistic”

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Well, these are all the updates I had for today! Thank you for reading!

May every decision you make be *in the spirit of fairness* and may the rest of your day *NOT go to $#!7*!

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Once upon a time, in what seems like another lifetime now, I was a student of music. It's likely I inherited my interest from my great grandfather, who played violin in the orchestra as a student at my high school decades before I was born.

I studied: History, Theory, Composition, Vocal Performance, Piano, and even wrote a comparative essay in high school on Chinese and Japanese stringed instruments. I've successfully played: beginner guitar, clarinet, and violin, and can even tune water goblets. I have sung at numerous competitions in: French, Italian, Spanish and English, with one disastrous attempt at German (which is hysterical since I am strongly of German descent.) There is a special place in my heart reserved for the appreciation of pipe organ and glass [h]armonica music, as well as Gregorian chant.

I was accepted into both a private and public music school for Music Therapy at the private university and Music Education at the public university, and performed as a first Soprano in the public school and would've been a second Soprano in the private school if I'd lasted longer than a week.

In my studies, I learned that music has the power to heal, and although I would not have been emotionally prepared to work with the patients at St. Jude using music to assist with their treatment the way I had dreamed of doing, nearly 2 decades later I still believe in the healing power of music. I've even started using sound therapy to work through some of my own healing.

One of the other things I learned as a music school student was that it is rumored (and still under debate today) that many of the most popular religious hymns and even the religious music now lost to time was originally performed by patrons of the local taverns after work in the evenings. The local churches, seeking to increase attendance, changed up the lyrics, added some seriously powerful backing music, and suddenly their seats were full. This in addition to overwriting Pagan holidays and practices, among other things.

Since I was privileged to have had family members who broke away from the traditional Catholicism and attended Unitarian services instead, I became comfortable with the concept of then taking existing religious hymns and reworking them to be secular and aligned with the intention of bettering the world for the good of humanity.

One of my grandmothers once told me my voice was a gift, and I would feel uncomfortable choosing to keep my feminine singing voice and then not doing anything with it.

One of my struggles since starting to practice Wicca is that I feel like singing ALL THE TIME. If I'm singing, you'll be able to tell what I'm thinking or feeling by what I'm singing, and aside from my cooking or baking, it's the strongest tool I have at my disposal for affecting positive emotional changes. However: the last thing I ever want to do is trigger someone's religious trauma without warning.

So what I figured out is:

1. Most religious hymns are public domain, so finding accompaniment and backing vocals shouldn't be difficult. I also have a Twitch account for recording videos and several YouTube accounts I can choose from to post them on and then share links in posts here. In a pinch, there's SingSnap, or I own a piano I should probably be playing more often anyway.

2. I can rewrite the lyrics to the songs and post them here, listing the source for the original songwriter/composer, with a link to listen to me performing each song as I've written it. If I find a version that already exists, I'll post with credit to whoever wrote it.

3. In addition, I can also provide information about each song and composer/writer, as well as which deity(ies) came to mind during the process, or even a random snippet relating to music history.

3.1. I'm already getting vibes from Ares that the theme songs for each of the Armed Forces may be a good place to start.

4. The Unitarian Church has already taken great strides in undertaking a project of this nature, and I wouldn't be opposed to working with my local UC on some of these recordings.

Sources:

Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_music#:~:text=During%20the%20first%20two%20or,it%20absorbed%20other%20musical%20influences.

The Enjoyment of Music, Ninth Edition Chronological Version by Machlis and Forney, 1997

Part 1. Erik The Playa aka Man-Whore

😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Yes he's got many women... Actually just 3 haha!

So I have conversations with Erik telepathically my listening to Erik Radio 110.0 HZFM (gave it a new name). Remember, we all have "spiritual alters" that's including your galactic spirit (if you have one idk for sure), your spirit self, past life selves that make up who you are. Your higher self is just a computer. Your highest form of higher consciousness running the program your spirit self plays in this game called life.

In the dimensions were Erik and I live, it isn't just us. Vanessa (my spirit self) and who I will now call my "galactic self"... I will call her "A". Then of course me but usually I'm the observer and sometimes commentator. While Vanessa and Erik interact. My "galactic self" I'd quiet and triggered in to existence. Vanessa and I end up being observers at that point. I remember and see everything going on like I was one of those two grump and annoying Muppets in the theater in the seats above. If you remember seseme street.

This morning the three of us had a conversation...

An uncomfortable one. I listened to Vanessa talk to Erik. Her voice is higher I guess you can call "sweeter" in tone or cadance. Erik is lower and of course manly. So I listened to them. It's like listening to the morning radio show but not as dramatic or hyped up. 😂 👌🏼 LOL I'm so serious.

So they discussed very discriptive about having "High Functioning Autistic Spectrum Disorder, with mild (or moderate) to severe learning disability"... Uh what? OK I know about being ASD but it's not that bad. I don't really give it much thought. Then in to deeper detail on my symptoms and how it affected my life and schooling. I couldn't continue my developmentmal therapy class in high school because thiey didn't provide one. I only continued to see the school therapist from elementary to 12th grade. Like most women with asd, I was diagnosed with bpd first.

There wasn't a name for my "condition" back in the day and asd was thought to be just for boys/men. I thing I remember clearly is my uncle making fun of me for carrying around an old dirty t-shirt that I refused to let go of. He nicknamed me Linus from Charlie Brown. Lucy has always been my favorite. I knew who he was from the comic books my mom would read to me. I would freak the fuck out if it went missing or when my mom tried to clean it. I remember throwing myself around and screaming. Even at 3 I was still a "baby talking" so Kane was my translater.

Autistic, bipolar and now tourrettes?! (wtf)

OK, I know the bipolar very well. We have a love/hate relationship. 😂 Pun... Lol. I continued to listen in. Erik started to bring up times when I had exposed. I was like oh okay I know what he's talking about. Back in school, I was bullied a lot for being dumb, quick to anger, and not only called, "Freak" and "crazy chick" but "twitchy". Of course, I didn't pick up it was an insult until later. I had a skinny very skinny friend with a "genetic weight disorder" who was called "Twiggy". 😂 I didn't realize at the time these things were insults. I would call her that thinking it was a cool nickname.

I get random nervous twitches. Sometimes even when I'm not nervous. It sounds like a mousy sneeze (my sneezes are loud) but my whole body jerks and I squeek at random. I never gave it much thought till now. Erik said at least when I did it, it appeared "cute". My touretts wasn't as bad as his. It's just a name for one of my many many quirks. I still don't feel like addressing it is a big deal. It's just a quirk and it's not that serious. So they didn't talk much about it. He said its true.

He said, "Remember, we are Twin Flames, Vanessa."

Just like genetic identical twins (but I have a fraternal twin) but with the same spiritual blueprint. It's not always true but in our case our identical spiritual blueprint manifested physically too. Similar issues and similar experiences... Erik made a good point. Even if we were somehow together, it wouldn't work out between us. Like in the three lives we had, he would still hurt me and leave me in the dust. It was hard to swallow. Vanessa asked that when we incarnate next, would there be any concerns? Oh, good point Vanessa...

Part 2. There will be a New America.

He said we would have a better incarnation because we are working through our "karma" even as we speak. We will meet in high school andr become high school sweethearts. Awww... But why Russia?! Because by then global warming will make that place or region warmer and America would be cooler. Also people will want to emigrate from because our government would be so currupt that everyone just about will have had enough. Russia would adopt a government that America should have had and be more honest and fair. Not catered to the rich and powerful. Much of the US will be under water (no surprise).

Just like how we find archeological sightings of old civilizations...

Our civilization will be discovered like those of old. Much of our world will be under water for future scientists to discover. My family and his family along with many will move to Russia but Erik and I would be born there. We would vacation to America because it's not like a Wasteland. It will be the same but a bit waterlogged and givernmentally retarded. He said I wouldn't like my vacation very much if at all.

America in that future would mostly be so culturally mixed that it will be known as a genetic landfill... Well damn. We would all for the most part will be many shades of brown. Hardly any white or pale skinned people. Many people from poor "brown countries" will have immigraged. Enticed by the "American Dream" only to become the "new slaves" working shitty jobs and under a mind controlling government. Language would be a mix of Spanish, English and French (not like it already is now) but kind of like a single language. American. Just American. If that's making any sense. Lol

😘 💞 💕 ❤️ I frikken love yall!

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit. channelingerik.com … And YouTube

There is a new Twin Flame in spirit support forum: Spirit Spouse Support Group check it out!

Get your first Twin Flame/Mediumship reading free and take a look at affordable detailed readings here! (◕‿◕)♡