still think it's crazy that the cycle and the high ones were foreshadowed in the soulsmith book in nehrim. that shit was 7 years in advance they were planning it out. so what im assuming is that the "canon" ending of nehrim is that the soul flayer is destroyed, because if i interpreted the soulsmith right, the soul flayer sword was what was stopping humanity from reaching perfection, which would then enact the end of the cycle. so really, the way to beat enderal is to play nehrim and remain all-powerful as the shadow god

Yeah sooo I started a playthrough of Enderal and was making some decent progress but then you knooow Baldur's Gate 3 came out so that's what I've been up to....hence the lack of updates on that playthrough lmao. And I suspect I will be busy with BG3 for a long time.

~

Notable moments so far in BG3, no real spoilers:

That dice roll is gonna haunt me for the next forever. If it's later in the evening, and my window is open, you can hear when I laugh. So I can guarantee that anyone in the alley or area heard me absolutely yelling when this happened.

rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats rats

Shhhh they can't afford Ambrosia but they can get high on self medication and sugar shhhh

Playing enderal again, making a character diary for this prophet. We'll see how long I can keep the habit

Started playing Nehrim & I'm getting back into the Vyn series :)! I love playing through this world again. I can't wait to experience Nehrim's world for the first time!

Damn it I'm thinking about Enderal again

Random moments with Alok the Prophet

Alok: “JESPAR THERE BEEN AN EMERGENCY!!” Jespar: *walks over to see what the commotion is about.* “What?” Alok: *holding his lute, Aria like a baby and holding back tears* “IT’S HORRIBLE.. AWFUL EVEN..” Jespar: *confused* “What is wrong?” Alok: “HOW, can you NOT SEE?” *shows him Aria* Jespar: ... Jespar: Your lute is um shiny? 

Alok: YES BUT *points to very VERY small scratch on his lute* SOMEONE HURT MY BABY!! Jespar: ...

Enderal: A Diary

I will start my n-th playthrough of Enderal. It will be a heavily modded set up (primarily based on Path of the Prophet).

Additionally, I will try to document my character on the Sideblog Enderal: A Diary. I might end up finding a better (less dramatic but also generic) name for it that will fit the omnipotent 3rd narrator perspective better. It will be a lot of Pain & Suffering & Clichés and I do not claim to be a good or creative writer.

As another way to interact with Enderal I will also go through this blog and start actually using tags. So yay!?

wonder if tealor briefly had a sense of deja vu when looking at the prophet for the first time. like they were strangely familiar. through the fog of his memories, he sees a flash of 3 years before, when he was approached by a shadow figure who emanated the same otherworldly aura. the prophet is naive and untrained. but the shadow god, despite still being early on in their quest, was already ready and waiting to take on fate

Jespar: I should have left you in that thicket where I found you.

Jade:

Replaying Enderal oo1

I am finally replaying Enderal, about two years later from the first time I played lol. I never finished it the first time, because I know enough that the ending will be devastating no matter what. This game is much less escapism these days, and simply a parallel to the real world - as “edgy” as that sounds, it is true.

As an utterly impoverished disabled visible queer, now is not a great time to be me. We are truly living in a dystopia, you cannot convince me otherwise. That said, it may be hellworld, I intend to get through this with as much love and hope as possible, through gritted teeth. And I think that’s why I can approach Enderal again, and may this time, actually beat it.

I got pretty far last time, just about endgame I do believe. I want to make an effort I explore more this time, I’m sure I missed stuff last time despite my efforts lol. I also won’t be able to save Tharael this time either because I forgot about the one crucial decision you need to make at the start of his quests - that was hours ago lmao, so uh...fuck me. [thumbs up crying emoji]

I may or may not continue more of these posts as I go along. Where I am in-game at the moment:

Main Quest: The very start of “Fragments of the Past”; currently just about to poke around the Aged Man’s manor.

Tharael: Waiting to hear from Tharael to start “Dark Chambers of Our Mind”.

Jespar: Only have done the initial character quest, waiting to continue more of his quests.

Calia: Only have done the initial character quest, waiting to continue more of her quests.

Honestly leveling up to 30+, getting Tharael and playing the Rhalata quest line sets you up to kiiiiinda be prepared for the main story's similar themes. Nessa left Tealor Arantheal waiting for her answer for literal months so she could at least start a life in Enderal first. She gets through the Golden Sickle, does bounty missions, explores Riverville and the Sun Coast before finally drinking enough to take on the Monster in the Arena.

And then everything you experience during the Rhalata quest with the Father mirrors the main story. Pride, hatred, obsession, unethical experimentation (not the Order itself, but Calia's father), body switching, dealing with the cruelty of the world and madness, finding that ONE person who understands you and dealing with them being taken away by the world (mirroring what happened to Yero and his wife, the Aged Man, Letho, Sirius, etc).

The trial during "Part of Something Momentous Part II" is a piece of cake for Nessa, who already knows of psionic illusions and the mind games that evil magic can play. Not much in Enderal tops what nightmares happened in the Rhalata's excavation site. Her and Tharael share that trauma and they have definitely talked through nightmares and ideas and psionics, they are probably more informed than the Order is since psionics and The Butcher of Ark are banned. A lot of Keepers and Novitiates seem ignorant of a lot of Enderal's darker secrets.

Aixon feels like someone the prophet once knew, rather than a total figment of your imagination. He represents the fear that holds you from escaping. You can pick up that skull at the end, "Regret," and instead of picking up the human heart or empty wine bottle at the altar you leave Regret on the stone that frees you. You leave Regret behind and it frees you. Nailaq left behind Qalian, Tharael left behind Brother Wrath. You kill Aixon, who represents fear and anxiety, and it frees you from the trial (I personally tried to kill him every time he opened his annoying mouth).

Then the High Ones meet the prophetess, and because you're level 30+ it's a sobering experience...for them. They may have brought the prophet back into this world, but like The Father and Tharael, you are fucked up because of it and stronger than you were. If Tharael can continue on, so can you.

Honestly having gone through the Rhalata quest and have Tharael by your side after is my favorite way to play. It adds a feeling of readiness instead of hopelessness at being called pathetic over and over again by the High Ones, who need to read a thesaurus and get more colorful words.

Nessa gives them the middle finger. How about you guys?

Incorrect Quote

The Prophet/Prophetess: Ever since this journey started I have not stopped finding new and increasingly terrifying reasons to say that, in fact, I have never been less ready for anything before in my life.

This is so sad. Hey Vatyra play Despacito!