#DIS IZ WHY I'M HOT
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Since Cygames isn't giving me an event about all the angels just hanging out before the rebellion, I'm doing it myself
The obligatory beach day is a doozy, because Sandalphon dies when he sees Lucifer wearing weather appropriate attire (read: not a body suit and armor)
Belial is harassing everyone by offering to apply sunscreen to them. Michael threatens him with bodily harm. Sariel, who does not leave the shade of his umbrella and is happy to observe the chaos from afar, is the only one receptive to him at all
Raphael uses his powers to fan himself
Gabriel also uses her powers to cool down but also flirts with every pretty girl at the beach and is still less of a menace than Belial, who is flirting with everyone
Uriel builds impressive sand castles, but refuses to tell whether he used his powers to help
Hal and Mal and Iz and As are playing beach volleyball
Lucifer keeps going on snack runs to make sure everyone is taken care of despite none of them needing to eat. He is incapable of taking a break. Michael wants to tag along and help, but is encouraged to relax instead. She has a good time baking in the sun and refereeing the volleyball game. Sandalphon goes along with Lucifer instead and is a gay disaster the entire time. In the end they finally hunker down and watch some sea creatures or birds together, maybe even go snorkeling. It's still fully a business trip in Lucifer's eyes and an opportunity to observe the evolution in the sea
Bonus:
Beelzebub picked the same day as them to go to the beach and is absolutely furious that Lucifer is there. He spends his entire day being livid. This is not made better by Belial coming over to tease him
NOOO SO CUTE OMG!!
Sandalphon dying after seeing Lucifer in a summer outfit is all the funnier when you remember he slammed Lucio for wearing "slutty clothes" while wearing Lucifer's likeness. He tried to kill Lucio for this because "omg no way Lucifer would be such a slut" and then Lucifer shows 2 inches of skin and Sandalphon combusts.
Belial being a menace is perfect. Michael is going to kill him <3
Sariel is staying under his umbrella unless he goes to talk to the sharks in the sea.
Raphael using his powers for this is perfect.
omg Belial vs Gabriel mlm vs mlm hostility where they're in an unofficial competition to see how many people they can have swoon on the beach with them. Belial does manage to actually score high because he remains quite hot, but the Queen of the Lesbians is a tough competition ever since. Gabriel is proposing any pretty girls to pause for her for her paintings and everyone is just swooning for her.
(both of them miss their boyfriend/girlfriend very much).
URIEL ONE IS SO FUNNY LMAO
HalMal and IzAz are being so cute there awww.
and aw Lucifer 🥺 this is such a cute imagery yes.
Michael, constantly restrained by people to have her relax. Meanwhile Sandalphon is like, i need to make sure Lucifer relaxes too, but Lucifer keeps insisting on helping anyway (he's been dead for years, he literally relaxed when he was dead, let him help now)
but Lucifer enjoying a bit of company while seeing the wonders of evolution is really cute. Makes me think about the end of the Maydays where Sandalphon is looking at how pretty the sea is and talks about how he finally understands why Lucifer loved the view so much, so them sharing this moment together, and Lucifer confirming Sandalphon knew exactly what Lucifer thought, is really a sweet one.
Also we gotta consider that since Lucio was a total whore on Auguste last time, there might be people who would try to flirt with Lucifer, both because he's pretty and because "hey didn't we meet before". Sandalphon has to make sure he's always near him to make sure nothing bad happens (calm his own jealousy)
AND FOR BUBS. PLEASE HELP.
esp since Belial talks a lot about how Bubs has a perfect bod' and needs to show it even more while Bubs is like i'm begging you to leave me alone.
Everytime the Angels do anything they run into Bubs who just stare at them and go "listen i'll just keep walking, ignore me, because i really want to ignore you."
and only Belial takes that as a challenge.
(anyway something something the Lowain bros are here and Tomoi is having a crisis. Obligatory "inserting Tomoi's crush on Bubs" here).
this is beautiful, thank you for sharing nonny!
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ok anyway i finished aveyond 3-1: lord of twilight. thoughts below cut
characters
mel
mel is about as resourceful as a walnut. hate this immensely. she's training as a spy and couldn't figure out her friend edward is the prince? she doesn't know basic geography? i get the gag of "she's stubborn and hates admitting she's wrong" but it got old FAST baby
i do appreciate that they lean into her selfishness though. i think it's EXTREMELY funny. like when you see eston and he's like i'm blind and lost :( and she's just like well i'm sure you'll find your way home :)
or you find out the merchant died and instead of saying literally anything else she's like "i guess he won't need his merchant pass anymore!!!!" like girl. you and stella were MADE for each other.
stella
stella is perfect. i love her. perfect balance of ditzy and serious to underly whatever the fuck she's got going on underneath. 10/10.
i really REALLY like the dynamic she and mel have. it literally feels like mel is like "we can't do that" and stella is like 🥺 please and mel goes: ok... i guess we will do that. i deeply, DEEPLY desire more of them interacting in the next three games outside of the weird catty jealousy from mel at the start.
also, i think she and mel should kiss.
edward
honestly edward pissed me off because he got more lines than literally anyone else and also he knows things because... he's the prince. ok?? i am a strong believer that edward thinks he's hot shit until he has to fight a monster and then it's mel who's pwning ass while he's freaking out in the bg. i think edward should be a himbo.
i hate that the writing rewards every single smug moment of his too. not only if he insufferably know-it-all but he's always RIGHT. and like yeah boohoo he doesn't believe mel's story but the writing is like "yeah but it makes sense he doesn't because vampires aren't thought to exist." WE GET IT. YOU LIKE EDWARD. WE GET IT!! WHY DOES HE HAVE MORE LINES THAN MEL, THE PROTAGONIST!!!
te'ijal
i learned more about te'ijal in this game than any other aveyond installment combined. if anything, it made me feel more confident that i'm writing her in a way that works with game canon. i loved every single one of her stupid nicknames she gave people and i LOVE how she and mel get along. immediate synergy just because they've got shit to do and muscley men to help them do it.
i also think it was extremely, extremely funny when she gets untied and she's like "the sun! it's too late, my crumpet. we're dead." like LKJDSKLFJKSLDJF that delivery!!! also, what the hell is a crumpet.
galahad
i looked up what a crumpet was and it is unsweetened bread made of flour, water, and yeast cooked on a pan. usually you put stuff on it. i bet galahad wouldn't. galahad looks as plain as a crumpet. i can see it.
this is probably the first time i've actually liked galahad as his own character, rather than how he can be used as a foil to others. also, shameless plug to read iz's fic about the bar scene because after i experienced it the fic became Very Very Important To Me.
others
i like how professor gray's house remained locked up for the rest of the game. i thought that was very funny.
story
predictable in the classic rpg way. extremely good because of it. i do think it's very funny how heptitus plays into everything consistently. i also appreciate that you are rewarded for exploring everything!
gameplay
if i had realized the fast travel required activating the mirrors first i would've been happier throughout the game. unfortunately, i did not. whoopsies!!!!!
i think my main complaint is that it is super unclear what needs to be done next. you're given one dialogue prompt ("go east" "go west") and if you forget it you're fuuuucked. i didn't know what to do until i was like hang on i bet wine delivery guy will tell me the next town to go to! and he did! and i went there and got confused again. i ended up severely overleveled by the end of it because i kept wandering into places i shouldn't.
anyway i looked up a walkthrough and sorted it out but the idea that edward going "let's find civilization!" means to talk to the reporter and then talking to heptitus in witchwood makes sense is....... i mean. really?
conclusion
as always, a banger. hopping right into 3-2 🤪
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???
i'm not ms. twigs. but if i were her, my pseudonym would be thin. she's not gonna die. y'all refuse to kill someone that would benefit ME.
i am completely unworthy.
i know but who are you? mathematically, since no one who supposed to die died. y'all probably killed a few people in a poor community to balance the scales. i'm tired and i don't care anymore.
i am ALL about you. and it's actually tat1 gabr1elle we see.
sure.
this character is not based on twigs. and joe is onigga.
and c-error is just running her mouth. that should be a hot topic.
y'all are NOT going to deliver. i don't blame you, it's the celebrattys. and not c-error, onigga.
c-error, this about chris. that baby. we know because you weren't afraid to point it out. so many things are just common sense, thx for that.
don't come to sell me hope. i don't buy shit like that but if you have some fried chicken.
what else can you tell us?
you'll listen?
no.
so what gives?
no we won't listen to her.
but you're conflating us.
we don't know the difference. not up here.
down. people with sense won't fall for her. why am i jada f1re?
cuz it's about looks and sex. if he's spiritual and not shallow, why do you look like meg@n the horse? you're supposed to be regular.
amm1ka is regular. so what's the deal? it's a problem when it's me?
listen, his twin is a regular girl. a literal celebrity voodoo man sent you to a mental hospital. lori is pretending to be you. you're not his twin.
amm1ka isn't me. regular people don't date celebrities. EVER. it was magic. ether nobility date ether nobility. that's how it is. these girls are just stealing people's ether names. not just mine, but other girl's names too.
but he's spiritual!
and from a noble clan.
that's not the point.
okay, but am i not WISE? i don't get it...aren't the other girls hot?
that's not the point. you're NOT relatable. you might even be out of his league!
okay, ALYUH iz the ones making me amm1ka, caroochee and the delusional diamonds. i am sorry that the story about me being "just like you" is a LIE. you all need to deal with that. stop stealing my name for those girls.
YOU'RE THE LIAR.
okay, blind bitch.
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DIS IZ WHY I'M HOT (zef remix) - Die Antwoord.
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Watch "DIS IZ WHY I'M HOT (zef remix) - Die Antwoord" on YouTube
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https://soundcloud.com/zfay09/dis-iz-why-im-hot-defunk-remix
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#die antwoord#this is why I'm hot#dis iz why I'm hot#Ninja Jones#ninja#yolandi wi$$er#yolandi visser#yo-landi visser#yo-landi vi$$er#¥o-landi vi$$er
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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeY_tTT3KEE)
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DIS IZ WHY I'M HOT (zef remix) - Die Antwoord.
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I rarely have hair appreciation moments
I feel like I can never “tame” my curls or they don’t look as nice as other girl’s curls, but yesterday I felt quite alright
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DIS IZ WHY I’M HOT
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dis iz why i'm hot
#DIS IZ WHY I'M HOT#die antwoord#die antwoord gif#zef#yo-landi vi$$er#Yo-Landi Visser#yo-landi#yolandi#Yolandi Vi$$er#Yolandi Visser
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