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Nov. 6, 2019: Columns

A compliment from Coit Dyer

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

Over last weekend I saw a blurb somewhere about a young man in St. Paul, Minn., who was driving to Iowa to buy enough Krispy Kreme doughnuts to completely fill up his car every weekend.

He then drove back to the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and re-sold the doughnuts to willing customers. For reasons not stated, there hasn't been a Krispy Kreme in that area for over a decade and this young man had been doing his "route" for several months.

That is, until the Krispy Kreme folks in Nebraska got wind of it and ordered him to stop for some unspecified liability issues.

The young man took it as a "Oh well, it was good while it lasted" attitude, which I cannot help but think is better than the Nebraska folks have.

Now, stay with me a minute, and let’s go back to the early 1960’s. I had been lucky enough to get a newspaper route delivering the Greensboro paper to about 78 customers in North Wilkesboro. It cost each customer 45-cents a week which I collected on Friday afternoons and Saturday to have money on Monday to pay my newspaper bill for the previous week’s papers. I have said often in this space that having a seven-day newspaper route was the nearest thing to running a small business an 11-year-old kid from Hinshaw Street could get.

Well, a pleasant young lady named Mickey Ross came by The Record last week and placed an ad for the restaurant area in Holland Clothing on Tenth Street in North Wilkesboro, proclaiming, among other things, that the "1920’s Era 'Smithey Burgers' Are Back!"

Immediately upon talking to Mickey, my mind went right back to my paper route and the old Smithey's Goodwill Department Store where the Holland's are now. In those days, every corner had a gasoline station of one kind or another and they all were covered up every Saturday washing cars. Those Smithey Burgers at that time were 10-cents each, and, since I had some money in my pocket each Saturday from my collections, I ordered ahead, and would pick up 50 of those burgers at 11 a.m., each Saturday morning — for $5 — plus 15-cents tax for Gov. Terry Sanford.

I put them in the basket of my bicycle and began my circuit through town to all those gas stations, selling the guys washing cars Smithey Burgers for 15-cents each — and they were glad to get them. If all went well, I would make for sure $2 and sometimes $3 every Saturday. Cokes were a dime, as was a ticket to the Liberty Theater, so this was good money.

Now, I hadn't thought about this in years, but the Minnesota story reminded me of something. In the early 1970’s I began working for Paul Cashion at WWWC radio selling advertising. One of my customers was the Goodwill Store on Tenth Street and I often ate my lunch there — I had remembered that taste like no other, and, while they cost more than 10-cents by then, they were still quite a bargain.

One day, while I was having lunch at the Goodwill, one of the managers walked up to me. It was a gentlemen named Coit Dyer — and I specifically use the word gentleman — because he truly was. A kindly, soft-spoken man, he sat down with me and we visited for a few minutes. Then he told me the reason he stopped by was to tell me he remembered me from years ago when I would buy all those Smithey Burgers on Saturday mornings. One of the ladies at the lunch counter told him about the gas station circuit and Mr. Dyer patted me on the shoulder and said he just wanted me to know he was proud of me.

That meant a great deal to me coming from Mr. Coit Dyer, for he was a man not known for wasting words.

When I heard about the Krispy Kreme story from Minnesota, I couldn't help but be reminded of that conversation and thought that the Krispy Kreme folks should have been more like Mr. Dyer from the Goodwill.

Spammed by God

By HEATHER DEAN

Record Reporter

October 18, 7:59 a.m.

I had not even had a sip of my morning coffee when I received a text message from a local looking number, albeit not one saved in my phone. When I opened it, it was a familiar bible verse. Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you.” I blinked and reread it. Was I awake? I was. Well, then…. Thinking it was a joke, or worse, that a self alienated family member still infused in the cult of my youth had ratted me out to the church leaders, I debated on how to respond.

After wondering WWJD if he were being harassed by the Pharisees, and imagining a retort of “Take that rafter out of your eye first, before you start judging people, and PS by the way, didn’t I tell you to stop doing that?” I did what any level headed and objective person does in this technological era- I posted it to social media and asked my friends, a fantastic mesh across the spectrum from Christian to Atheist, what they would do. Being both wise and hilarious, they did not disappoint.

* Block them. Nobody needs that judging drama.

* "Seek ye first your own business." Me. Chapter 11 verse 2.

* “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the law, love under will.” Aleister Crowley

* We could all spam the number back

*You could retort, but it's wasted on someone with such an odd belief system

*Well I’m pretty sure God is a woman , only a woman would make the hair fall out on my head then grow out of every where else as a chuckle

Turns out no one can hide, and of my tech savvy friends posted a link to the number that texted. Turns out it’s a real person, not just computer generated. I reached out to my sister who works for a local carrier and asked her if spamming by evangelists was actually a real thing. It is. After doing some research I found out this is because we tend to put in our phone number when downloading apps, even when it isn’t necessary, which opens you up to spam by real people who are also on the same app. There are evangelicals lurking on even the most sordid of sites, looking to save a lost sheep.

On the page attached to this number there is a comment section. One read “Text me again and I'll contact my lawyer.” I also found several Christian based forums telling people not to spam others, links to court judgments that have been passed on those doing this specific kind of spamming, and advice on if you are being spammed, how to report your fellow followers.

As for me, my retort to being told to seek first the kingdom of God before coffee was “Well, that doesn’t seem to be working for most of the Christians I know in this impoverished area. Then there are those with mega- churches-They DO have everything, but it’s not because they love God.

But I’m glad you brought up Matthew Chapter 6. One of my favorite scriptures is in this chapter. Allow me to direct you to verse 5. Take a look at it the next time you’re planning on standing out there with your signs and books.

And this is why I had a bumper sticker that said “Jesus, please save me from your followers.” Judgmental cows are lucky I didn’t go full throttle Christ and start flipping tables and chasing them with whips for being dangerous enough to engage me before coffee.

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.”

Hitler died in a bunker — Al-Baghdadi died in a tunnel

By AMBASSADOR EARL COX and KATHLEEN COX

Special to The Record

The Democrats just can’t stand the fact that President Donald Trump now has a very major victory in his portfolio and it’s thanks to absolutely nothing from the Democrats.

In fact, the success of Trump’s well-planned attack on al-Baghdadi, the ISIS leader, which resulted in his elimination, was largely due to the fact that the Democrats were not informed or involved in any way otherwise the secrecy of the mission would likely have been compromised and therefore sabotaged.

In a surprise nighttime raid, al-Baghdadi’s compound was infiltrated and bombed. In an attempt to save his evil hide, al-Baghdadi ran into a cave, or tunnel, with two of his young children and, hitting a dead end, blew himself up. This ruthless terrorists’ leader, who was dubbed as the Islamic Caliph, was reportedly being chased by one or more highly trained U.S. military canines.

Like al-Baghdadi, the Democrats were caught completely off guard so they had to come up with a counter strategy to detract from Trump’s success. Due to the flawless execution and success of the mission, they could find little of which to be critical.

Grabbing on to a flimsy straw, they began a campaign of making it very popular to berate President Trump’s description of al-Baghdadi as “dying like a dog and whimpering.”

What the Democrats, the mainstream media, and the general population, in the U.S. have failed to understand, is that Trump’s description was not meant primarily for Western ears and sensibilities but rather was meant for the ears of Middle Eastern fanatics. Thankfully, someone on Trump’s team apparently understands that one of the worst insults for an Arab is to be called a dog and to be described as such and to ”die being chased by a dog,” strikes horror in the hearts of al Baghdadi’s followers.

Al-Baghdadi was a vile and ruthless terrorist, rapist and murderer.

By no stretch of the imagination was he an “austere religious leader” as reported by The Washington Post and others (many of whom have since repented). While his forces pillaged, plundered and inflicted grave suffering on innocent and helpless people, Al-Baghdadi himself lived “high on the hog.” These words, too, represent another very insulting phrase for Arabs as pigs are considered unclean.

While Trump’s victory speech was short on eloquence and political polish, the fact remains that he successfully eliminated a man who was a dangerous threat to the entire world. Trump succeeded in “cutting off the head of the snake.”

Even so, while Trump served as the important central player in this mission, the real thanks is owed to God and the brave men and women of the Special Forces, their exceptional canine division, and those foreign governments who knew what was about to happen but wisely and responsibly kept this knowledge a secret.

Sunday with Jan Karon

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

So, there we were on stage at the Hub Center in Hudson. It was a full house; the band was in tune and the cameras were rolling. New York Times bestselling author Jan Karon was in her element as we talked about all things Mitford.

It was Sunday and the continuation of Jan Karon Days. Saturday morning had featured the Jan Karon parade with local citizens as well as Mitford personalities. The remainder of Saturday included, among other things, a luncheon like what you might read about in one of Jan’s Mitford novels; It even had an Orange Marmalade Cake adventure in which I participated.

I was so moved by the cake experience; I included the story in my monologue during Sunday’s show.

From the moment Jan walked on the stage and we took our seats, she was gracious and engaging.

Jan was born in Lenoir at the Dula Hospital and raised for much of her childhood by her grandparents in Hudson. She attended the Hudson School which is now the Hub Station. It serves the community with a variety of business, educational and entertainment options and on this weekend, it served as the perfect setting for our broadcast production.

As we were talking about Jan’s early memories of growing up in Hudson, one of her stories was about her first book, written at the age of 10 and inspired by “Gone With the Wind”.

The story goes like this: Jan’s curious sister discovers Jan’s book, reads all 14 pages and runs to their grandmother exclaiming, ‘Jan has written a book and it’s got damn in it!’

Well sure enough it did. Jan felt that using that word from “Gone with the Wind” would in some way elevate her writing.

The problem was that her grandmother did not allow the use of such words. The worst part of this story was that Jan had to participate in her own punishment by fetching the switch.

To this day, Jan’s books have for the most part remained curse word free. I say ‘for the most part’ because there was one other time…but the publisher fixed it with black magic markers and yes there was a t-shirt made.

We went on to talk about all sorts of things and with the help of talented actors, a few of Mitford’s personalities came to life. The audience was thrilled and so was Jan.

Down the Hall was our house band and the music chosen was to celebrates our Scots-Irish heritage. The music provided a perfect segue to talk about Jan’s research trip to Ireland. With hundreds of personalities to create, research is important.

At the end of the show we had a good amount of questions from the audience. A common question was about when another Mitford book might hit the shelves. As of now that is not expected, Jan is considering other projects; however, now she is simply enjoying her own personal Mitford experience.

After the show, Jan visited with fans down the hall in the classroom she attended many years ago as a child.

It was a fine day with a lot of memories and literary celebration.

Whether you live in Mitford or a town not so far away, may we all have the comfort of friendships and someone who cares.

Carl White is the executive producer and host of the award winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In the Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its eleventh year of syndication. For more on the show visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com and join the free weekly email list. It’s a great way to keep up with the show and things going on in the Carolinas. You can email Carl White at [email protected].

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