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kanene-yaaay · 2 years

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Heya beans! It’s me, ya boi.

Soooo, long short story? I am taking a break. Just some time to focus entirely on my life and peharps rest a bit. I am not sure how long this break will be (or if it will be long at all) but I wanted to give you a fair warning since my last post about it was from like July ssdfghjkjhgf.

Anyway, more detailed explanation under the cut! Have a cookie and a lovely day as well ^.^)

I am quite proud of this account, to be honest. Even if with some stumbles, I like the direction I took to take care of it. My fanfics, my reblogs, my askys, the wonderful mutuals I have and the kind people who like and share my work, I am very greatful for all of this.

That is why I decided to step away for all of it a bit.

Honestly, it feels a bit dramatic to write this post like this sdfghjkjhgfd afterall, I am definitely coming back after some months (or maybe some weeks. Who knows?) but the thing is: since my phone broke and my intense studying programm started, I’ve been trying to get scrapes of energy and excitment to make content for here, even if it was just a reblog or a fanfic and... it became quite tiring.

Don’t get me wrong. Again, I love what I do here and def wouldn’t be posting at all if I truly didn’t want to, but I have my own insecurities and it simply get much easier to fall into a dark place when you’re tired and not sure if what you’re doing it’s the best you can do and when you try to do your best it just feels lacking and false because you’re not feeling the best and now you’re just angrily stuck between a rock and a hard place because you really don’t want to be false but isn’t sure if you can create something nice if you don’t be.

So, yeah! That is definitely not a good situation to be and clearly a result of some degree of exhaustion that I really want to nip right at the bud because sdfghjjhgf N o p e. I am not messing with this shit again.

Therefore! I am taking a break! I will visit here from time to time and interact with a few posts/beans but I think I will mostly stay on my non-tickle blog. As I said before, I may end up biting my tongue (is that a saying here? It means going back on what you’ve said/decided) and breakdancing my way back here in November or in one week or something like that but, no matter if that happens or not, I want to do it when I feel rested and prepared to be back.

Maybe I will take the time to watch some stuff I’ve holding back until now and get into new fandoms! Have new ideas! A new writing style! Who knows!

S o o o there isn’t any goodbyes allowed in my kingdom! Only ‘see you later’s! And that is definitely one of them. I especially want to say ‘thank you’ for everyone who sent me a prompt months ago for their patience. I still have not forgot about them, I swear!! And, ofc, thank you for everyone who still interact with me and my content, you hold a very expecial place in my heart. <3 <33

Without any further ado, see ya soon!

#Kanene from 2014 would be proud of this I am sure #Kanene being Kanene #Random #Is it too obvious that I don't know what to say here? sdfghjkjhgfd I'm just feeling shy tbh honest #But yeah I didn't want to keep appearing randomly to post and then disappearing for some weeks. Nothing agaisn't who do that ofc!#It's just not really my thing. It makes me anxious not gonna lie sdfjukijhg #yeah yeah I am just rambling at this point but shhhh no caling me out >:v #Also y e a h I stole the 'goodbye and see you laters' from Undertle BITE ME #B i t e #m e #sdfghjkdfghjk #see you soon my dear <3

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ectonurites · 7 months

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thoughts on convergence batgirl?

ah yes i did mention i have problems with it in a tag last night which i imagine prompted you asking this.

on the one hand, in 2015 it was a 'made me cry out of joy to see Steph back in the Batgirl suit at all' sort of thing, so i'll always have a certain fondness for it. i do think it has some good moments (like the one in that above linked post) plus Steph & Cass as roommates my beloved.

BUT the major problem I have is that I think the premise is inherently flawed—I think it's way too out of character for Steph to quit being Batgirl/a vigilante the way she is shown to have done once the dome appeared. And that sorta bleeds into the whole story, it's a driving force behind how Steph & co are dealing with the Convergence situation.

Steph’s resilience and unwillingness to ever give up anything—no matter what the world threw at her—had pretty much always been a defining characteristic for her. The only times prior she’d ever ‘given it [being a hero] up’ were temporarily while she was pregnant (because. obviously) and when it was entirely not her choice post-War Games (because Leslie faked her death and brought her to Africa, but basically the second she got back to Gotham she was being Spoiler again).

Being a hero is something she had to work so hard for. It's something that she was told to stop doing over and over again—by Bruce, by Tim, by fucking everyone—but it's the thing she wanted to do and it's the way she wanted to help, so by god she was gonna do it!

And once she became Batgirl, that determination to be a hero only intensified:

(Bruce Wayne: The Road Home — Batgirl #1)

Like... this is her last page before the reboot:

(Batgirl (2009) #24)

Literally saying 'it's only the end if you want it to be' in rebuttal to Babs mentioning an end, and following it up with 'Here we go' as she swings off into the early morning to keep Batgirl-ing—in her last appearance before continuity is about to reboot and make her disappear entirely for a few years. This page is like the clearest example of showing how Stephanie Brown is a character that will carry on being a hero—doing what she loves and thinks is right—even if things are ending all around her.

So I just can't comprehend looking at that and saying 'yeah, when an emergency hits, she's gonna give all this up ASAP'. It just feels like it contradicts the very nature of Steph's attitude on being a hero and will always rub me the wrong way.

Then, a smaller thing that also bugged me on the reread of Convergence Batgirl I just did is how Tim/Steph was handled.

Because they were apparently together as Red Robin and Batgirl pre-dome which then led to the 'Tim ghosting Steph because she quit being Batgirl' breakup... but them being together was not the case nor really the trajectory things were headed towards last we saw the post-crisis versions of them. They had never gotten officially back together after Steph's death in War Games—like there were a few kisses and obvious feelings that were still present when she was revealed to be alive right around Batman RIP, but after the shit that went wrong at the end of Robin '93 they were very much so NOT together anymore. And when they had the chance to get back together during the Red Robin/Batgirl crossover they very specifically didn't.

So it just feels like... IDK, randomly added in drama for the sake of drama, that felt like it didn't add anything meaningful to the story besides... connecting an action to the already-seeming-ooc 'Steph Quit' plot point. But like, I think there easily could have been a story of rekindling their actual old relationship—without adding in this off-panel getting back together and breaking up thing—that would have made them getting back together again at the end feel way more satisfying.

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amane-by-together · 3 years

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Blue Hour || Amane Yugi pt. 3/5

(Amane Yugi x Fem! Reader)

genre: romance, drama and a bit of fantasy

summary: amane and [name] stopped communicating after the pen pal project

“When we lost each other.”

The quarter felt like a shooting star, it was fast in a blink of an eye. As the late night calls stopped and so as the letters.

Amane laid down on his bed, staring at the messages that he and [name] exchanged. Something was weird, it's been a week since they chatted after the pen pal project was over.

Though, he doesn't want to assume that he has been ghosted, yet the situation is the same. Not being able to receive messages from the person Amane likes, it's definitely ghosting.

Amane stayed up all night, not because of star gazing, his honey amber eyes had lost their shine and looked like a zombie with eyebags forming under his eyes.

She disappeared like a ghost.

“You disappeared for an instant, like a faint ghost, you disappeared.”

Amane felt his eyes brimming with tears, he didn't get used to it, it's like being alone again. He never met [name], yet why was he crying for her?

‘This is not supposed to happen right? You're not supposed to fall for your pen pal Amane.’ the voice inside his very own head told him.

‘She's just a pen pal, Amane. Nothing special, you shouldn't cry about her.'

'It's all gone'

‘Don't disappear now, I'm searching for you’

‘It felt like the summer was winter without you.’

‘It's all gone, now. It's over.’

“Now I just missed you...” Amane choked back a sob. His heart was clenching making it difficult to breathe. It felt like he was having an anxiety attack, he wanted to make the feeling disappear.

Now that [name] was gone.

He wanted to disappear as well.

Amane hugged his knees hunched over while lying down. His phone was the only source of light inside the room since the moon isn't there when he needed.

Just like he needed [name].

But the thing is,

She nowhere.

She's gone.

Amane doesn't know what to do.

It's all gone.

“Whoah Yugi, you okay bud?” Yamabuki sat next to the young boy who was staring into space, his eyes were sore from crying and his eyebags are turning darker. “You look wasted man.”

“Yeah, I'm okay.” Amane smiled, even though he was hurting and grieving inside. To everyone it looked like it was the brightest smile, but in reality it was fake.

“No you're not, Amane-kun.” Yashiro interrupted, crossing her arms in front of Amane. She placed a hand on his shoulder, looking at him reassuringly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Truth to be told, Amane does need someone to talk with. He's been bottling up all his tears and suffering because of [name]'s sudden disappearance. His smile faltered, casting down to his desk and nodded gravely. Yashiro grabbed his hand before dragging him out to class.

“I thought you liked [name]?!” Yamabuki yelled out.

Yashiro stopped as the two of them arrived on the rooftop. Amane's shoulders slumped a little bit. “So tell me what's going on?” she asked.

Amane was silent for a while, he felt his eyes watering. Yashiro wrapped an arm around his shoulder, telling him to calm down before he can tell her.

And so he did, starting from the day he learned that [name] was his pen pal, to the epiphany of falling for [name]. Yashiro listened, nodding on every word he says. “Maybe it's a sign that you two should meet?”

“Huh?” Amane rubbed his eyes using his hands. “What do you mean?”

“I've read this somewhere in books!” Yashiro tells Amane with a smile on her face. “I always see this kind of plot, and it is time to apply it to the two of you!”

“The two of you are some sort of soulmates!”

Amane squinted his eyes in disbelief at Yashiro, a typical someone who doesn't believes in soulmates and then they meet in some point for plot purposes. After Yashiro had elaborated the term soulmate, she bids goodbye on Amane because she promised Aoi that they will go on a "date" together.

Amane saw her figure slowly going away from him, but he didn't try to call her back or even yell that he used to like Yashiro. Besides, the young boy already had fallen for [name] and was foolish for trusting his intuition that he wouldn't.

He gave a one last glance at the sky before going back inside to his respective classroom.

“Come on Minamoto-kun, beat Tsukasa-senpai up!” Mitsuba encouraged Kou who was randomly pressing the buttons of his controller whilst his electric blue eyes remain glued on screen. Tsukasa, his opponent, was concentrating really hard to win the video game.

Amane was sitting on his swivel chair, reading [name]'s last letter before the project's end. He was reading it for like...fifteen times already.

“Senpai, you've been staring at that letter for a while...” Kou worriedly pointed out. Tsukasa told him to leave him for a while since he was on a state of singularity.

Amane puts down the letter and sighed heavily. The three of them went over to the older twin to see what was going on. “Not gonna lie that pen pal is creative as hell.” Mitsuba remarked. “Anyways, may I see the letter?”

Amane nodded as he handed the pink haired boy the letter. Mitsuba carefully unfolded the letter and started to read. He grabbed the envelope and started to examine it. Mitsuba notices from the back of the envelope, a slightly peeled off paper. “Hey, Yugi-senpai,” he called. “I think there's a post card stuck on the back of the envelope.”

Kou scrunches his nose. “They probably didn't mean to stick the post card and paint it to camouflage it—”

“Okay who has long nails here?” Amane sighed as he looked at his cutted nails. “I recently cut mine.”

Mitsuba peeled off the postcard from the envelope with ease. He gave the post card faced down to Amane. As Amane receives the card, he flipped it up and saw something that made his stomach drop.

It was the ferris wheel that Amane saw in his dream along with the unfamiliar girl. The question is, what does the ferris wheel have to do with that? “A ferris wheel?” Tsukasa asked.

“This is the ferris wheel I saw in my dream last time—” Amane let out a shaky breath and pointed at the ferris wheel. “There was this girl who appears in my dream two times in different places. One with the carousel and the recent one is this ferris wheel on the post card.”

“Hm? I heard this one from an article that dreaming about a ferris wheel means that you don't want interruptions when you're excited.” Kou explained. “A carousel is a symbol of childish joy, which means that you don't want to forget in the past.”

“Then how about that unfamiliar girl?” Mitsuba asked.

“She could be someone from a past life?”

“If a carousel symbolizes as childhood happiness does that mean that girl was linked to you as a child?”

“I didn't even have a female childhood friend.” Amane crosses his legs. “Besides even if that girl was my childhood friend I wouldn't be able to recognize her.”

“Do you have any information about [name]-san, anyways?” Tsukasa asked.

“She goes to Sanaol Academy, which was far from here.” Amane answered monotonously. “It'll take a subway to go there.”

“How do you know then?” Kou asked.

“I researched her school online, and it was an all girls school.” Amane wetted his lips while brushing his hair back using his fingers. “It's a four hour ride—”

“Four hours?!” Tsukasa, Kou and Mitsuba yelled in disbelief. The three looked at each other and nodded as they knew what they're thinking. Amane raised a perfect brow at them, then looking at the post card on his hand. “That's just—”

“Hold up.” Amane raised his hand to stop them from talking. “The post card that Mitsuba peeled recently, there's something that was written on the back of the envelope.”

There are dots and dashes on the back of the envelope. It is some sort of morse code. Mitsuba thought it was kinda extra since they could've just say the actual letters instead of encoding the message for minutes.

The four of them spent hours to encode the morse, Amane leaned back to his swivel chair as he wiped a sweat from his forehead. “So what does it say?” Tsukasa asked.

Mitsuba and Kou looked over to Amane's shoulder to see the message along with Tsukasa.

“You and me in 5:53 at the ferris wheel...?” Amane says as if it was a question. He turned his head towards the four and gave them a lazy but determined smile. “How would you three like a bonding trip to find [name]?”

“I'm in!” Kou smiled whilst showing both of his canines and pointed at himself. “I'm totally in for some trip!”

“I guess I'll come too.” Mitsuba blew a raspberry and shrugged. “Only because I'm bored as hell.”

“If Amane's going then I'm going too!” Tsukasa wrapped his arms around his older twin causing the latter to elicit an 'oof' from his lips.

“Well that makes us four then. We'll go tomorrow.” Amane tells them.

“Tomorrow?” Mitsuba asked. “What time?”

“Since [name] said to meet at 5:53 pm by the ferris wheel, which wasn't specifically mentioned where and what, I guess we'll ride at dawn.” Amane looked at his laptop and started to peck the keyboard using his fingers. “When we arrive at Sanaol Academy, we'll ask for directions for the ferris wheel from the post card.”

“I have a theory though,” Kou tells him. “It could be a possibility that [name] is the person in your dreams.”

Then it clicked him into epiphany, why didn't he thought of that before? But again, Amane has no idea what [name] looked like anyways. He shouldn't be jumping in to conclusions that fast. Just because the girl who keeps appearing in his dreams doesn't mean it's already [name].

[name].

Amane lets out an exaggerated sigh from his lips and slouched against the swivel chair. He really did miss [name]'s company, even if it's just letters and texts.

Who knows, maybe tomorrow during their trip, they will meet. Amane makes sure of it, he wanted to see [name].

He wanted her to know how much he misses her after they lost each other. He can't go on.

Not without her.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #amane yugi #amane yugi x reader #anime #fluff #hanako x reader #tbhk #yugi amane #yugi amane x reader #amane #blue hour

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