#Bree's stuff
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I already said this in my other post but this really deserves to stand on its own and honestly I'm crying over it so it has to get written down somewhere, but when Bor'Dor took a pull from Ashton's pipe, the smoke turned into an image of him shooting a Fire Bolt at the janky, creepy, lovingly set up dummy that the Hells had made for him. The target that his own targets made out of admiration for him, out of affection, out of genuinely wanting to see him grow his potential.
Ashton's pipe showed that the greatest, most heroic moment of Bor'Dor's life was casting Fire Bolt at that target, and getting to celebrate it with the rest of the Hells. It was feeling accepted for the first time in his life. Feeling respected. Feeling like he belonged, like he and his magic belonged and weren't some horrible, dangerous thing that they would fear him for or would have a temple come and cart him away for.
These people—who he somehow either followed across an ocean or luckily ran into—who he specifically stayed with because he intended to kill them for sabotaging the Ruby Vanguard's plans. For killing "his friends" in Marquet.
These people were the ones he finally felt accepted by. Not the Ruby Vanguard.
He gave Ashton the first piece of mental relief and relaxation they'd felt in years, maybe ever. He gave them jerky, and made them fruit leather, and caught a little fish and had Prism Enlarge it to make sure they could eat. Was he telling himself it was just to ingratiate himself to them, to get closer so the knife would be easier to twist? When did ingratiating himself become "I wanted you to like me"? Did he have to keep convincing himself it was all part of the plan, that he didn't really like them, that he didn't want to keep them alive but he had to to get his revenge, that he could let them die at any moment and this wasn't just him getting attached because how could he get attached to people he meant to kill?
Did Bor'Dor realize, in the moment that he decided to try killing them in that cave, that the Vanguard had only ever seen him as a weapon? That his "friends" who'd died in Marquet (he'd watched Ashton throw some of their bodies out of the Hole just days ago) wouldn't have sought revenge for his death the same way, because he was nothing more than a tool for one man's schemes? Did he realize he had more in common with Orym who'd lost all his loved ones to Ludinus and Otohan and the Vanguard—with Laudna and her myriad of terrifying, beautiful magical gifts and her desire to do good with them—than he'd ever had in common with anyone in the Vanguard?
Is that part of why he just tried to run?
It didn't have to be this way!
Bor'Dor healed most of the group right after fighting the Taker. He knew that his Vitriolic Sphere probably wouldn't kill all of them, that they had health potions and could recover. He just needed to get away. Get away so that they couldn't come after him, and he didn't have to see how he'd hurt the only people who'd welcomed him into their hearts in years, and he could tell himself that maybe they did die and he'd fulfilled his mission, and could tell himself too that maybe they didn't die and he hadn't actually killed his only real friends in the world.
I saw you! In Marquet! You murdered my friends!
Was he really still angry at the Hells for killing Ruby Vanguard members? Or was he trying desperately to fight back against how much they cared about him? How much they had genuinely reached out and taken him in? How much it was going to hurt him to hurt them? Was he trying to cling to his original purpose, so that he could ignore how much it hurt to kill the first people who'd seen his magic and said "you're amazing" and meant it? Who'd said "can I try something", "what else can you do", "it's nice to know I'm not alone, because you're in the same boat as me"?
And when he gave up... when he didn't try to fight back... when he begged for the end because there was no point anymore...
The Vanguard wasn't enough to stay alive for. And he'd just betrayed the only people who'd ever completely accepted him. There was no point anymore. No point in fighting. No point in living. He was done. He'd had enough.
Bor'Dor Dog'Son deserves his peace. I'm glad he got it.
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#critical role meta#critical role theory#c3 meta#c3 theory#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree#fuck I'm crying again
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i'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING SHUT UP
IT SAYS FCG ON THE HOOD AND IT'S IN FRIDA'S GREEN AND ROSE GOLD COLORS AND FRIDA'S IS BLUE AND GOLD DOES IT SAY FRIDA ON THE HOOD OF THEIRS HOLD ME I'M SO FRAGILE RIGHT NOW
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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Emily Axford you fucking genius.
Summoning a demon to fall down on the angel of the Dawnfather.
Right in front of the mural of the Dawnfather smiting the Lord of Hells.
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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Okay but Sam forcing Matt to recreate the Lady Yelling at the Cat meme is like... it's all been leading up to this. This is the pinnacle of their relationship as DM and player. The perfect encapsulation of the pair of them.
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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Eli Lieb's cover of Young and Beautiful is a good Astarion/Gale song
Anon. Hey. Hey anon. Come back here a sec I just wanna talk. First of all, your mind. Second of all, it's 8am and I'm still having my coffee, do you know how fast I started getting teary-eyed over this, I'm not emotionally ready for how right you are and how perfect this is and how much it makes my heart ache.
I will be sending you a bill for emotional damages, but it'll come with a thank you card and like some nice chocolates or something 🖤
young and beautiful – cover by eli lieb
sketches by arczism
#baldur's gate 3#BG3#astarion#gale of waterdeep#bloodweave#YES I'M SNIFFLING OVER BLOODWEAVE THIS MORNING AND I'M MAKING IT EVERYONE'S PROBLEM#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree#answered#Anonymous
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Fearne looking at this quickly-deteriorating situation
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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"Why do you believe you need a god to have a purpose?"
— F.R.I.D.A. WHIPPING OUT THE REAL QUESTIONS THAT FCG REALLY NEEDS TO CONSIDER FOR A WHILE, CUZ JUST TRYING TO FIND A REPLACEMENT FOR DANCER AS SOMEONE WHO TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO ISN'T HEALTHY BABYBOY
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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And talk about cinematic glory... this moment of Laudna summoning a Hound of Ill-Omen literally with the sheer force of her trauma and fear and stress and sadness. A moment of fuckin badassery borne of pain and mental agony, where she manifests her inner demons to strike out against their current enemies while finally feeling the full weight of all that has happened in the last few days and months.
What a thing, to see the perennially optimistic and happiest member of Bells Hells—who has been through hell and back multiple times—finally breaking down in the middle of battle and turning her pain into protection and defense.
And yet we're still left to wonder... is this going to be a moment of catharsis for her? Or is this going to be another moment of trauma that she will have to pack away?
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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"And I'm gonna become a book thief!"
"A literary larcenist?"
"Yes! After I steal books, I'm going to set them on fire!"
"No, that's arson."
"Oh..."
"Need to steal you a thesaurus, baby girl."
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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Orym: "You've been to Emon?"
Deni$e: "Oh yeah, I've been all over lookin' for my ex. Dariax."
Orym, in the tiniest fucking voice imaginable: "I'm sorry????"
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#if I didn't need to have captions I legit would have thought he just squeaked#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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One day ago (in game), Bor'Dor was blasting Lightning Bolt on terrified instinct and screaming, pissing, and throwing up on himself in fear before going fetal in the middle of a fight.
Today, he's shooting a paladin of the Dawnfather in the back and stabbing her in the neck to kill her with Two. Mother. Fucking. Natural. 20s. IN. A. ROW. And gathering her dying blood in his hands for a spell to summon a demon. ... And still throwing up on himself in fear.
Started at the bottom, now we at the top! Still vomiting, but we made it! That's my boy!
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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Ya know what tho, I gotta give Fearne all the props, she was so quick to answer that the mushroom was totally safe in the hopes that maybe someone would try it, but then Chetney turned it on her cuz he knew what she was doing and rather than back down like so many people would she just went “hell yeah down the hatch” and tried it herself like damn Grandma Morri didn’t raise no chicken
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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Matt has a lot of great little phrases that we’ve all come to love. But my absolute all-time favorite is, “So here’s the thing...”
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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So much of Bor'Dor's waffling back and forth about how far to go with the Hells, where to go with them, what their goals were... so much of it makes sense now.
Two eps ago, he'd gone and talked to Orym in the tree and said he was set on sticking with them and helping them out. Last ep, he said he wasn't sure he wanted to stay with them because he didn't want to die for them.
He had to try and stay close, even if that meant saying he'd help them with whatever their goal was. Even if that goal was killing Ludinus.
But he didn't want to die for these people who killed "his friends" in the Ruby Vanguard. Of course he didn't. He didn't want to die for people he was there to get revenge on.
He wanted to try and talk the guards of the temple away from the fight before it started, because maybe they didn't know (according to Bor'Dor's world view) just how much the gods weren't watching and didn't care. Because maybe they were smart enough not to try dying for a god that didn't care to try and protect them.
But he had absolutely no problem shooting a paladin/cleric of the Dawnfather in the back and then bleeding her out to summon a demon. Because she was devoted to one of the very gods that he felt had abandoned him and his mother. And he felt no remorse for ending someone who clearly had no compunctions about oppressing others in her god's name.
And... and Ashton's pipe couldn't lie. Even being a clearly very powerful mage, Bor'Dor didn't know what Ashton's pipe would do because Ashton hadn't told anyone what it did up to that point.
Bor'Dor's greatest, most heroic achievement in life was shooting that Fire Bolt at the practice dummy, and celebrating with everyone, and finally, finally, feeling a sense of belonging for the first time in his life. With the people who killed his friends and fellow Vanguard members. That must have fucking hurt.
I'm not going anywhere with this really, except that Utkarsh really played a character that, for me at least, has to be the single most tragic character on this show. And now that the adrenaline has worn off, my heart just hurts for him. It hurts that in the end, he didn't even try to fight back. He was done. He wanted peace. He wanted to see his family again. He was tired of fighting and watching people die and he was still just a scared young man who had watched people around him die in the name of the gods or in the name of killing the gods for his entire life, and he just... wanted to be done.
Enough.
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#critical role meta#critical role theory#c3 meta#c3 theory#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree#welp now I'm crying a little there it is#thought this would happen earlier but better late than never I guess
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AIMEE TRIED SO HARD TO FEED US, SHE TRIED TO WATER OUR DORYM CROPS, I APPRECIATE HER EFFORTS SO MUCH
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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SO LUDINUS REALLY DID CAUSE THE CATACLYSM IN MOLAESMYR BY FUCKIN WITH THE POWER WELL UNDER THE CITY TO TRY AND CONTACT OR UNLEASH THE THING IN RUIDUS
wooooooooow what a cunt
All that death and destruction, the corruption, horrific shit that has eaten up this forest and its people and anyone who went into it, just cuz he wanted to talk to a thing that might not be real but was just obsessed enough to risk everyone else to try.
What. A. Cunt.
#Critical Role#campaign 3#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#Bree's stuff#about me#about Bree
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