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bonefall · 1 year

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how does the fire scene play out in your redux?

Had a whole thing written out and Tumblr crashed and deleted my post again :/ take 2

The Fire Scene's one of those things that, because of a bunch of my reduxes, can't exist the way that it does in canon.

Adopted kits are valued just as much as regular kits ergo she can't have a reverse psychology "Ok fine kill them it won't hurt me" moment. The Queen's Rights also means that she did not have a social obligation to reveal the father of her kits (though many cats in the clan will think it was a dick move she didn't tell Bramble)

But I do need to preserve Ashfur's motivation that he's scorned by her rejecting him. It's important that he wants to possess and hurt her because he is an incel... though, I do want to weave in something about the "Kin of your Kin" prophecy reaching him and adding an element that they should be dead because their power could threaten ThunderClan (which is from my Villain Thornclaw AU, and imo a much better motivation behind the Fire Scene in general. Especially since it connects thematically to The Broken Code.)

Fragments, rough outline:

-I'm going to change the logistics a bit; Squirrelflight is trying to push a tree down for the Three to climb up. Ashfur interrupts this action

-"My quarrel is with you!" They brawl here, Ash wants to force her to watch her kids die

-I'm thinking she lets loose the secret to disarm him for a moment, "ok. kill them. they aren't my kits so i dont care" "Wait-- what? Wait! No you're lying you turned around go go back into th-" SQUILF KICKKK

-Maybe she even kicked him so hard she launched him into the tree, knocking it over. Girlboss. let my cats do anime battles

-This is when the three start coming up the tree, but Ash obviously is trying to stop that. Lionblaze gets to run up and slap his bald head

-Lion can have a moment here, if it's fitting, that he isn't capable of killing Ash and feels ashamed of his monstrous powers. He was his mentor-- in this rewrite, a mentor is emotionally like another parent. He's overwhelmed by hurt, betrayal, and thinks back to all the things Ashfur did that hurt him

-In general I really need to hammer out what their mentor/apprentice dynamic was like, and how it affected Lionblaze's personality. Thinking about it now, it's super important for this scene

-hmm... maybe I can tie the prophecy-motivation back in here, and have THIS be the moment where they logically work out Leafpool is their parent. "They aren't Squilf's kits, BUT Lionblaze obviously has star powers, so they must be Kin of Firestar's Kin through someone else! Ergo the only logical choice is LEAFPOOL"

-but like... y'know, less smartly worded.

-Anyway Ashfur runs. This is also the last story beat in Hollyleaf's Po3 arc; the last betrayal she can take before she begins her villain descent.

Post-Fire Consequences:

-Ashfur... he can't just walk off scot free, in any case, Firestar or Bramblestar (depending on if Firestar is dead yet) wouldn't let an attempted murderer stay in the Clan

-Maybe Hollyleaf kills him purely out of revenge? For how he hurt his mom, his brother, how he threatened his family. she deserves a lil revenge tbhhh

-Maybe Firestar died somewhere else during the fire and killing Ashfur right now could look like part of the same murder. Especially since Fire could have "black fur" in his claws too because Breezepelt does it. (tfw you and your evil half-bro are drowning two guys in the same creek and there's an awkward silence /j)

-When Brambleclaw/star finds out, he's upset that Squilf lied to him. That's understandable. If he's -Star by this point, he demotes her as deputy immediately because he can no longer trust her and she helped conceal a crime.

-ThunderClan is NOT completely in favor of this. Opinions are super mixed; some agree that a leader has to be able to trust their deputy. Others say Squilf was upholding the warrior code by protecting the kits. Others think it's fair for Bramble to be mad, but that Squilf was the best choice for a deputy and his personal anger is clouding his decision (a sign of a bad leader)

-Overall though, Bramble's reputation takes the larger hit here. The Thistle Law-leaning supporters who don't respect the Queen's Rights didn't like Squirrelflight politically to begin with.

-Also this is the beginning of the end of Bramblesquirrel in my rewrite. She never gets back with him romantically after how he acts in Bonefall OotS, though she does, briefly, consider it in Squirrelflight's Horror. (I think the title of that redux says everything about how 'Great' of an idea that is.)

So In Conclusion

This is the second-to-last major conflict of Bonefall Po3 before we end the arc and go to Bonefall OotS, and the widely accepted end of the Power Era as Inter-Clan political relationships sour, with no proper Fire Alone leadership to smooth tensions.

I would like to have one final Clan battle after the Fire Scene to set that up, after which Hollyleaf vanishes into the tunnels. If I was renaming the books of each arc (which I haven't yet just because none of my outlines are truly detailed enough yet to really outline 6 individual books), Sunrise would become Cruel Season.

In Cruel Season, we also get the birth of Jayfeather's kits, adopted by Lionblaze in a parallel to Leafpool.

Feel free to leave suggestions and feedback on parts that are good, and what's not working about this. It's still WIP territory.

#Bonefall Rewrite #Bonefall Po3 #Bonefall Fire Scene #Hollyleaf #Lionblaze #Ashfur #Squirrelflight #Bramblestar

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weakestwarrior · 1 year

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because I always have been and always will be a squirrelcrow truther. (explanation under the cut. warning, it’s kinda long).

first of all, a lot of this is inspired by bonefall’s better bones au. please go check that out first. it contains things I’ll talking about like honor-siring and Queen’s Rights that you may not understand if you don’t.

so. this is a lot, but I’ll generation by generation to explain what’s going on, changes, and things that are the same.

Firestar: Dies at an undecided time. I like pre-Omen of the Stars/The Last Hope but I’m not fully sure WHEN I should kill him off. There’s also the choice of keeping his dead in The Last Hope but that’s boring. He’s mostly the same as canon. He’s also one of Squilf’s biggest supporters (along with Sandstorm and Leafpool),

Sandstar: Firestar’s deputy after Graystripe’s kitty kidnapping. She received Tawnypaw way back when, making her eligible for deputy. As a leader I imagine her similar to Bluestar; always involved in Clan life, going on patrol, watching kittens for queens, and generally not sitting on her ass all day like the Erins love to make leaders do. She’s not shy about speaking her mind, either, but know there’s times it’s best to stay quiet. (Also, Brambleclaw does not get Berrypaw in Po3, he goes to Sandstorm instead. Honeypaw goes to Whitewing.).

Leafpool: No long the mother of the three, she’s still important in supporting her sister when she comes back pregnant from her romp in the beyond. She stand by her sister’s choice to claim Queen’s Rights and not tell anyone the father of her kittens. Squilf does tell her once the three are born, but she’s just as clueless as the rest of the Clan until then.

Squirrelflight: My favorite girl, mother of giants, squilf. She and Crowpaw build a strong bond on the sun-down-place journey, and the two of them remain friends long after it’s over. Brambleclaw abhors their friendship, saying it’s dangerous, and why a stinky WindClan cat, but she’s not listening.

Quick rundown:

Squilf is not interested in either Ashfur or Brambleclaw.

She was close with Ashfur, but only as friends. He refused to see it that way, and was very in love with her. His possessive, controlling nature made her run.

Squilf leaves for her romp with Crowfeather around the same time Leafpool did in-canon.

She tells Crowfeather she thinks she’s pregnant at a Gathering shortly before she finds out for real. After she’s absent from them for moons he guesses (correctly) she’s nursing his kittens.

Squilf clams Queen Right’s, preventing her from having to reveal the Three’s father

Crowfeather: Fell first and extremely hard. Local man was in LOVE. He’s the one who came up with the idea to leave, seeing as they’d never be truly accepted by their Clans. He was terrified of returning home, but WindClan was just happy to have him back. He really wishes he went to ThunderClan to raise his kits, and feel like there’s so much lost time he can never possibly make up. Breezepelt was an honor-sire with Nightcloud.

Before we get into the Three: They all do have powers. Lion has his strenght, Jay has his dreamwalking, and Holly can make cats tell the truth. They all “unlock” these powers at different times. Jay dreamwalked into Firestar’s dream to hear the “kin of your kin”, unlocking his power first. Lionblaze unlocked his power after being made a warrior because of Brightheart’s teaching and guidance. Hollyleaf’s power manafested after Ashfur spilled Squilf’s secret at the Gathering. She demanded, “Why did you do it?” and out came the truth.

The Fire Scene: Doesn’t happen the way it does in canon. Ashfur is between Squilf and her kits, his claws to Jaywing’s throat, saying that if anyone moves he’ll kill him. Ashfur was always of the belief that the kits were Brambleclaw’s, and says he’s clearing the forest of traitorous Tigerkin. Squilf, in a last-ditch effort to save her children, screams out that they are Crowfeather’s. They ran away together, but she knew it was wrong and returned, only to find herself pregnant (which is partly a lie!). This sates Ashfur, and he lets everyone go with the promise that all the Clans will know. The Three are mostly unaffected by the news of their father—Lionblaze always said they were likely to be half-Clan anyways because of Holly and Jay’s wiry builds. They’re more affected by the attempt on Jaywing’s life.

Lionblaze: His mentor is NOT Ashfur, it’s Brightheart. After Ashfur’s horrible treatment of Squilf while she was pregnant, Firestar wasn’t keen on giving his grandson to him. Brightheart tempers him, bring out the courage and strength within while keeping him humble, allowing him to unlock his powers.

Hollyleaf: Her mentor remains Brackenfur, and she never trained as a healer. He instills the ways of the Code in her, even the parts she doesn’t always understand. She unlocks her powers last. She cornered Ashfur on the Gathering island after everyone has left and demanded he tell her why, and he does, the words tumbling out of his mouth like water down a fall. She lives with this for a few days, but cannot shake the rage she feels every time she sees him. He’s found dead on the Thunderpath, but it was clearly not a monster that killed him. After Ashfur’s death and vigil, Holly flees to the tunnels, unable to live in ThunderClan any longer.

Jaywing: Still blind, and never trained as warrior. He was not forced into the Healers’ den, but chose it on his own after talking with Leafpool about the starry cats he often saw in his dreams. Leanded a little too hard on Poppyfrost after Holly ran to the tunnels post-breakdown and got her pregnant.

Alderheart & Sparkpelt: The second squirrelcrow litter! These guys are born at the same time they are in-canon. How did they come about, you ask? Well, before the Great Storm, Crowfeather was actually relaying news to Sandstar about some Twolegs’ dogs that were wondering along the Wind-Thunder border. It was only a light rain when Crowfeather left camp, but was pouring when he made it to ThunderClan. Sandstar offered him to stay, and the rest of Bramblestar’s Storm (now Squirrelflight’s Storm) plays out as normal (not the same due this being an au, but you get the jist).

Poppyfrost: She and Jay had been close since he brought her back from the edge when they were apprentices. Although they remained close their whole lives, Hollyleaf’s fleeing caused them to grow even closer. Poppyfrost was delighted to find out she was pregnant, but terrified considering the situation. Due to the circumstances, she temporarily claims Queen’s Rights...and then never un-claims it.

Dovewing & Ivypool: The poppy/jay kits! Taken in by Lion and Cinder, but “nursed” by Poppyfrost. Poppy's litter “died” right before Lion and Cinder “had” Dove and Ivy. They are completely unaware of their heritage until much later. (I should note that this is bonefall’s idea, and I’m in love with it)

#warrior cats #warrior cats rewrite #firestar #sandstorm #leafpool #squirrelflight #crowfeather #ashfoot #deadfoot #lionblaze #hollyleaf #jayfeather #alderheart #sparkpelt #dovewing #ivypool #poppyfrost

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rippleclan · 7 months

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[Image ID: a video game screen for something called RippleClan’s Promise: A Clangen Tale. Stars border the title and the Clan’s logo sits below it. Four boxes border the logo, labeled “CONTINUE”, “SETTINGS”, “NEW GAME”, and “QUIT”. A star cursor sits next to the SETTINGS box and highlights it yellow.]

The air hums around you. Everything seems to shimmer, ever so slightly, in a way that makes the world seem bright. It looks like the territory you know, but... better. Safer. A pale silver figure appears before you with a glittering pelt and excitement in their eyes.

Moonpaw:

“You came! Finally! I’ve been waiting for you for moons! What took you? Well, that doesn’t matter. RippleClan’s been thriving without you, but they’ll appreciate having you around.

“Wait... you don’t know about RippleClan?! Where have you been, living under a rock? Hold on... you don’t even know who I am, do you?! Rude! I’m Moonpaw, former mediator apprentice extraordinaire and RippleClan’s guide in the stars! I’ve been dead for generations, so I can fill you in on what’s what. RippleClan is a new Clan founded by a few Clan cats seeking a new life with a new, more open philosophy. The other Clans are... a little strict, to put it nicely. Maybe RippleClan can change some things, heh! I help them out with the day to day stuff, but you’ll be keeping an eye on them and nudging them along in SUPER big ways! It may take a few moons for your changes to take effect, but don’t worry, when they do, you’ll know.”

Moonpaw:

“I’m sorry if our connection is shaky. It takes a while to record everything going on in RippleClan, and sometimes you may not see it. Don’t worry, though, I’ll always describe things for you! Image IDs are great, aren’t they?

“Don’t worry about how I know that, it doesn’t matter. Whenever an image shows up in an update, the paragraph below the image will include the text in the image and a description of who’s in the scene. There’s a lot of juicy stuff below each image, so take the time to read! At the end of each entry will be some basic information for each cat in the scene. That means their age, their rank, their gender, and their personality. Here’s mine!"

Moonpaw: 10 moons, Female, Meditator Apprentice, Childish, Great Hunter

Moonpaw:

“RippleClan’s Promise is stylized like a simple pixel video game. As such, you might see some statistics pop up alongside our beloved cats! Here, I’ll show you. When someone gets a condition, it’ll show up like this!”

[Image ID: + CONDITION: GRIEVING appears below Moonpaw]

“That’s just one example of something that can pop up on our adventures! There’s bound to be more fun additions. Speaking of additions, this series doesn’t have the same lore as ones you may be more familiar with. A lot of the worldbuilding is inspired by the Better Bones AU by @bonefall. This AU includes an upgrade to Clan technology, such as cooking, controlling fire, making baskets, and having more advanced medical care. There are also some unique features to change things up. I’ll pop in on occasion and explain them when I have to.”

Moonpaw:

“Okay, I know rules are boring, but I gotta explain how RippleClan works, ok? Ok! I’m going to pick out the most important events from each moon, and you’ll get to see all the details!

“All the events I show you actually happened. I merely translate what I see for you. I’m keeping my influence to a minimum. That means no meddling that doesn’t fit the character. I’m not going to adjust relationships, pick out mentors, or change patrol outcomes. I will, however, adjust the occasional kit name and decide how cats respond in patrols based on their traits. Other things, like some warrior names or stories, are up to you! I’ll let you know when I need your help.”

Moonpaw:

“I think that’s all the big stuff! Come on, what are we waiting for? Let’s check in on RippleClan!”

#settings #rippleclan #rippleclan clangen #moonpaw

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bonefall · 1 year

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my nomination for brackenfur’s killer: applefur, dark forest trainee & bitterly jealous of the sibling that brackenfur’s heroics directly saved. i don’t feel like it’d be hard for the dark forest’s manipulations to convince someone to do something like that

Oooh, that's a super good suggestion. I'll jot that down.

It would make overlap with Breezepelt killing Firestar, though... maybe I'll end up leaning into it as a Dark Forest plot completely. Tigerstar probably had a paw in it; it makes sense he would still want Bramblestar to have power. Even if it's just to force it on him.

I definitely would like to involve Dark Forest trainees in more legitimately villainous things in the living world, instead of it being sprung on them at the last minute that "Btw we're going to kill your families," so in any case I will definitely be making sure Applefur is able to do SOMETHING nasty

#On the Breezepelt killing Firestar note I've been considering having Firestar die in the Fire scene #But also I can't have Ashfur directly intentionally kill a person in it because he needs to still get into StarClan for TBC #so I go back to Breezepelt mysteriously murdering Firestar somehow #But I feel like these two things are a climax that should be mixed somehow #Death of Firestar and The Fire Scene I mean #It's hard to do without changing too much #Since the secret also comes out here and raaagh #I might just have to make concessions since the Po3 and OotS stories I'm telling are diverging so much from canon #Bonefall Rewrite #Applefur

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bonefall · 1 year

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I was never able to really get a feel for Leafpool's personality in the books, especially since she's always contrasted with Squirrelflight who has a pretty consistent personality (at least for Warriors standards). She's kind of like Hollyleaf where they change her personality depending on what they want to happen in the plot I think. How do you approach writing her? I'm really fond of your Spottedleaf, so I was wonder if Leafpool has any fun quirks like her.

[ID: Leafpool from Warrior Cats. She is chunky, has a mane, and green eyes. Her stripes are horizontal.]

I approach Leafpool as being VERY tired. Her life is characterized as never really being in control of her own fate, being punished for any simple pleasures she takes tenfold, so I write her as becoming very defeatist. Poor girl.

Because Leafpool is never in REAL control, somehow, it gives her this air that she's in total control. You can't scare her. StarClan can tell her that her kids are cursed, Hollyleaf can tell her to kill herself, Bramblestar can jump in front of her and snarl, she's never more than briefly phased. "Yeah sure this may as well happen."

In a way, she's almost the total opposite of Jayfeather, who never met a rule he wasn't willing to punch. It is interesting that each one of the Three has a unique relationship to the fate that chains up Leafpool.

Allows herself to love Mothpaw... war breaks out and Moth has to return to RiverClan.

Tries to warn Squilf about Brambleclaw in spite of StarClan wanting them to be together, first fight with her sister ever.

Runs off with Crowfeather, returns home to find out her mentor died before she could say goodbye.

Gives birth, allows Squilf to take them, eventually gets threatened by Hollyleaf.

(side note: i am considering leafpool's name being an honor title, with her old name being Leafstripe, and Squirrelpaw failing two assessments just like Nightheart)

But a big change in my rewrite is that the dramatic scenes that aren't consistent with that resigned sorrow go to Crowfeather. He's a complete and utter ham. Leafpool isn't out here trying to name Hollykit 'Crowkit' or confessing her unwavering love for him in front of his wife and child, THAT is Crowfeather making an ass of HIMSELF in front of that wife and child lmao.

Leaf's feelings are more complicated and repressed. Hard life.

On the bright side though, there ARE changes from canon so that the Clan has more nuanced feelings about her instead of her whole life being a nonstop beatdown.

Most of ThunderClan, which heavily leans Fire Alone, agrees that Leafpool did the right thing by giving her kits to Squilf to invoke the Queen's Rights. Sure she lapsed, but Fire Alone cats are softer on the Cleric's Vow in general.

Bramblestar demoting her in Cruel Season has a VERY mixed reception. It's Leafpool!! Leafpool Moonpool!!!

Her death many years later in the Sister Raid actually tanks Bramblestar's reputation. It was seen as cruel, pointless, and avoidable, and they lost a very popular and experienced Cleric.

(side note again: still considering how the 'unclear sign' plot beat is going to go in my rewrite, because i cannot imagine jayfeather not just lying about that. "yeah yeah yeah they said yes bramblestar, im supposed to heal this cat obviously. move.")

Misc Design Stuff:

She's got a mane that you can see on Dovewing too, since Dove is Leaf's grandchild now.

Like Sandstorm, uncle Longtail, and grandpaw Runningwind, Leafpool's stripes are horizontal.

I'm still doing research into what she has specifically, but Bonefall Leafpool is intersex. Those are stud jowls.

Considering the cat version of PCOS because it explains a lot; weight gain, a receding hairline that could be shared with Lionblaze, the jowls as a facial hair parallel, difficult pregnancy, etc.

Still doing my research though.

And lastly, Mothpool is endgame in this Rewrite. They can never be together officially, but it's about the yearning. It's about finding freedom with your escapist fantasy partner or being in shackles with your true love. She chose the CHAINS.

#BF Leaf and BF Spotty are like the NOTHING IN LIFE MATTERS meme lmao #Bonefall Leafpool #Bonefall Rewrite #Bonefall Po3 #Bonefall TNP #art #sketch requests

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bonefall · 1 year

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Ok, I decided I might as well put out that Hollyleaf ask I mentioned. So I was thinking about your Hollyleaf and how while I love some aspects of her and think they are preferable to canon, there feels like there's something that I liked missing in her relative to canon Hollyleaf that I have suggestions on how you reincorporate. So what I really like: I love how you give Hollyleaf a political arc, with her constant musings on Clan life and the world being actually relevant to the narrative and her clearly going from one position to another based on her life experience, as opposed to canon where she's open-minded and fascinated by other cultures when the plot requires it and then a super conservative rule follower who believes the Clans' way of life is the only legitimate one when the plot requires that, without any clear arc of going from one place to another.

But one thing I like about canon Hollyleaf that I feel is missing from yours is the way she is a complete wreck by the end - she can't stand her birth being against the code, she can't stand the life she's build being broken, her guilt over murdering someone to make those feelings go away only drives her further into her broken mental state and leads her to ironically undoing the very thing she killed for. She is despairing about having any sort of purpose to her life, about being evil herself even as she tries to convince herself she is a hero doing what's right and thus has a right to punish everyone, and she runs away to get away from it all. And I feel like the fire scene (perhaps with the help of previous events) destroying the foundations of what she's built her life on has more of an impact than just her calmly, philosophically deciding "all right, I'm mad at my parents, I choose revenge and evil now".

All of which is to say, I had some ideas I wanted to suggest on how these aspects could be preserved in your Hollyleaf, which is incorporating some of a Hollyleaf AU I made myself adapted to your world. Since in Bonefall AU she learns about the prophecy at the same time she learns about her parentage, it could be both revelations that really impact her. She's always seen herself as the hero, wanting to be a medicine cat because that's the position where she gets to save people and be important and everyone appreciates her for it for example. And she's always wanted to be the good Clan cat who serves and is beloved by StarClan, even if she has varied on whether she wanted to do it by following Firestar's example and ideology or something else. So maybe finding out about the prophecy makes her horrified - she's some kind of abomination that exists beyond StarClan, who StarClan is terrified of, and in her mind that makes her evil, an abomination against the ancestors she loves and worships destined to destroy everything good. Then when you add to this her arc of diplomacy and Fire Alone going wrong, maybe it could not just be a sense of betrayal in play but also guilt; her diplomatic attitude resulted in something bad happening to someone else and she was already dealing with feelings of being bad and horrible for that which her ego and belief she had to be a hero couldn't take. And then there's how her parentage ties into this - while the rule wasn't originally about this, I would imagine in your rewrite the kits of medicine cats would have a cultural connotation of being cursed, evil, abominations from the fact that all of them in recent memories had been leaders who ended up in the Dark Forest (Ripplestar, Brokenstar, Leopardstar), so this could add to these feelings and maybe feel she should punish Leafpool for creating kits like her that would destroy the Clans and punish Squirrelflight for covering it up so the Clans didn't know the danger in their midst.

But of course, she can't take thinking of herself as wrong and evil, so her shame causes her to break down further and take drastic actions to punish everyone who did wrong before StarClan as if in her zeal she can make it up to them, prove that despite her birth and "curse" she can still be StarClan's favored "adopted child", and make up for the harm her previous "evil" support of Fire Alone has caused. Maybe if she punishes Leafpool hard enough she will defy her "fate".

And then you add in Sol, who is the antithesis of what she believes but yet seems to have some kind of connection with her, and maybe Sol plays on her feelings of shame and anger to try to get her to do what he wants. Then by Hollyleaf's Century, realizing she has Sol's powers now puts her even deeper into that state of feeling she has to make up for something, and now she thinks she will prove her nobility and heroism to StarClan by saving them all from their environmental destruction, showing she's such a loyal servant to them by implementing the Clans' way of life, the only good way of life, decades early, and never making the mistakes she's made in the past! Then maybe she wouldn't have to feel she is an abomination anymore, maybe she can make up for existing. All of which ironically plays into just what Sol wanted.

She could be contrasted with Jayfeather where she realizes with the benefit of 100 years of hindsight that her brother didn't care about pleasing StarClan, that he accepted his existence was in defiance of it and proudly committed sacrilege (so she knows about this, maybe he could confess what happened with Hazeltail to Hollyleaf thinking she would understand due to their shared experience with the prophecy, only for her to criticize him and want him punished, leading him to realize how much she changed) - and yet he was a better and more truly heroic cat than she ever was. And this helps slowly push her out of her mindset. Not sure how Bonefall Lionblaze plays into this since he seems a bit too similar to Hollyleaf in his reaction to having powers, though.

So what do you think of these suggestions for Hollyleaf?

They sound great! I think Cruel Season is coming together.

Cruel Season is going to be a book between the episodic Po3 and the narrative-driven OotS, where the majority of Holly's breakdown is contained. It bridges the gap between the casual tone of Po3 and the serious one of OotS. Here's the plan;

The prophecy is revealed at the end of Po3, and Cruel Season opens up with the three grappling with it.

This sets the stage for the following;

Hollyleaf worrying she is an abomination because StarClan is terrified of her,

Lionblaze concerned for what this means in terms of how he will protect ThunderClan if he is so powerful he could destroy it, and

Jayfeather confirming to himself that StarClan is full of assholes, telling his siblings that he fought Molefall to save Hazeltail.

ASHFUR LEARNS TOO, and puts together that the Fire and Tiger prophecy + Kin of your Kin prophecy = Disaster

This, plus the death of Brackenfur in the previous arc, causes Holly to start isolating herself. She doesn't know what to think. She's supposed to be a hero, a prodigy, but what does that mean if StarClan is already terrified of her?

There must be something else they know that she doesn't. And her siblings... Jayfeather IS a problem to them, isn't he?

But that's still her brother. Cracks are starting to form but she's not gone yet. This is when Sol pops back up, offering to be someone to talk to.

Harry is thinking this is for more manipulation, Sol itself is taking an interest in a possible new vessel as he grows bored.

This time, the Fire is NOT random. Unknown to the Three, this is a Dark Forest plot.

Thornclaw (knows the territory), Whiskernose (established as knowing how to manage fires in TNP), and Breezepelt (breezepelt) are creating a diversion so they can murder Firestar

Regardless, the Three are caught in it. Ashfur makes his infamous move, cue The Fire Scene

I mentioned before how it goes in the rewrite, but here is is again for newcomers, those who missed it, and people who want a refresher;

BONEFALL FIRE SCENE

The Three are trapped in the blaze, Squirrelflight appears and is trying to kick a weak tree over so they can escape

Ashfur: "I CANT LET YOU DO THAT SQUIRRELFLIGHT"

They have a fight, Ashfur shouting about the prophecy, Fire and Tiger + Kin of your Kin = they are fated to destroy the clans, if Squilf has chosen him this never would have happened

Squilf is pinned, but reveals with passion, "BRAMBLECLAW'S KITTENS ARE DEAD, THESE AREN'T MINE"

Ashfur is confused just enough that she's able to muster a massive kick, sending him flying into the weak tree, knocking it over

Lionblaze races across this tree to help Squilf, smacking Ashfur across the face

It's a Moment, Lionblaze seeing his mentor both furious and terrified of him, blood on his claws

Ashfur absconds, leaving the Three with Squilf

Now this next part is important and is a big change of motivation from canon; I want it to be clear that Holly killing Ashfur is 100% her REVENGE. It's not about safety, nor about keeping the secret. So here's how it goes;

The blood on Lionblaze's paw, Squirrelflight’s wounds, and the absence of Ashfur is DEFINITIVE PROOF he tried to murder them

Brambleclaw, the deputy and defacto leader because Firestar is missing, is furious and declares that if Ashfur is seen on ThunderClan territory, he is to be considered a rogue and to be brought to justice.

Ferncloud, Cloudtail, and the rest of Ashfur's associates are shocked.

Birchfall may try to ask "are you SURE?" But immediately regrets it, seeing the haunted look in their eyes.

Especially Lionblaze, Ashfur's apprentice. He's devastated.

When Hollyleaf hunts Ashfur down later, she is IGNORING the order to bring him to justice.

But before that happens... they discover the body of Firestar.

His throat is torn out. It's immediately assumed that Ashfur did it.

"He wanted to hurt Squirrelflight so badly he settled for her father..." -Ferncloud

Hollyleaf alone realizes that he had black fur in his claws during his vigil later...

And she removes it.

She speaks to Sol about this and he tells her that it was surely an omen.

It means SHE is responsible in some way.

She agrees and adds,

"I'll do what has to be done, I will prove I'm worthy! I'll exact justice on everyone who needs it, this black-furred killer, Ashfur, and the one who broke the code and set these events into motion with my birth"

Sol: "oh my me this woman is crazy i need to possess her"

Lionblaze remains very close with Squirrelflight, getting more of the truth from her. Hes confused and upset, but, accepts that she did it to protect them and Leafpool... even though he doesn't Get It yet.

(Squilf is always his mom and he has no doubt about this)

Jayfeather really doesn't want to hear it, having independently worked out that the only other parent they could have is Leafpool (since this wouldn't be a Federal Fucking Issue if it was Cloudtail) and... that evokes a lot of negative emotions.

Buuuuuuuuuut all this turmoil starts causing him to lean on Poppyfrost for escapism. He leans on her too hard and she got pregnant. JayFUMBLE.

Hollyleaf kills Ashfur. Raggedy from living on his own for several weeks, missing his Clan, hoping to face justice and find mercy for being unsuccessful, it wasn't a fight. It was a murder.

(This is important for TBC later, as Ashfur is allowed into Silverpelt over this while also making sure that StarClan isn't accidentally incompetent like canon)

Next on Hollyleaf's list; Leafpool

The Reveal at the Gathering happens

Bramblestar IMMEDIATELY demotes Squirrelflight from her deputy role for covering this up, breaks up with her, and disowns his children.

Assures the gathering that there will be consequences for Leafpool, and promotes Thornclaw to deputyship on the spot.

Jayfeather is now the only Cleric of ThunderClan.

Breezepelt, who was tense but friendly with the Three, has declared them his enemies because Crowfeather CAVED IMMEDIATELY and admitted he loved Leafpool, embarrassing him in public AGAIN by making it clear he was not wanted

"They're the reason he treats me like this! They're disgusting! They shouldn't have been born! I thought they were my friends but they were actually part of my torment!"

ThunderClan IMMEDIATELY starts treating the Three differently, because they are halfclan and cleric children

Lionblaze suddenly understands what Squilf meant by, "I did it to protect my sister, but also to protect the three of you"

"Sometimes keeping secrets is Good Actually," concludes Lionblaze

Opinions are split about Squilf and Leafpool,

"Squilf was protected by the Queen’s Rights"

"Leafpool still broke the code tho"

"That should have stayed between her and StarClan, she did the right thing"

"That law is stupid anyway!"

"Uhhh no it's not? Brokenstar? Ripplestar? Leopardstar? Helloo??"

"Are you saying Squilf's kids are tyrants? What is wrong with you?"

"I'm saying you don't respect the code you heathen!"

"She still lied to Bramblestar and needs consequences!"

"A halfclan cat is a halfclan cat! It was revealed and we must deal with it!"

ThunderClan is fighting, basically.

Holly has her scene later of trying to get Leafpool to eat deathberries, like canon Leaf is a queen who's like, "...girl you can't hurt me more than I already am"

And this is the point where Poppyfrost realizes she is pregnant. They're Jayfeather's. He is the only Cleric in ThunderClan, Poppyfrost does not want to be a single mother, it's a mess.

So they contact Cinderheart and Lionblaze and ask for help. They agree-- but preparing for the arrival of the kittens means they'd need to start saying they're mates.

Cinderheart: "hey uh Hollyleaf I'm, uh, mates with your brother now?"

Hollyleaf:

"Youre McFuckinf What?"

Cindy, unable to keep a secret and not really being in love with Lionblaze, admits there are kits she needs to adopt. Hollyleaf does more deduction and jumps to the correct conclusion, Poppyfrost is pregnant because Jayfeather has violated his vow.

And she's going to do something about this.

Sol offers his services. Friendship ENDED with Harry; now HOLLYLEAF is my best friend.

Jayfeather needs to be dealt with. He has disobeyed StarClan for the last time

As he slips into the Tunnels to communicate with Rock, she follows him, planning to kill him quietly

Lionblaze intercepts this, defending Jay.

"What happened to my sister?! Hollyleaf, this isn't you!"

"A black cat killed Firestar, and I've killed that black cat! Soon I will put an end to all enemies of the Warrior Code!"

"What does that MEAN"

The fighting destabilizes the tunnel, Lionblaze is able to push Jayfeather out just in time before the rockslide

Sol saves Hollyleaf's life by teleporting her 100 years into the past, so that she isn't killed by the collapse.

Lionblaze is a tank and rocks can't kill him, when the Clan digs him out, he's just bruised and unconscious

They never find Hollyleaf's body, or any remains at all. Not even blood.

The book ends with the birth of Ivykit and Dovekit, tension settling over the entire family, pain and mourning all at once. They chose not to tell anyone about Hollyleaf's betrayal, allowing her to die as a hero.

Cinderheart admits she still loves her, and misses her with her whole heart. Lionblaze can't understand why it happened. Jayfeather is expressing his pain through anger. Poppyfrost wants to put this behind her as soon as possible.

And thus ends Cruel Season, and begins Omen of the Stars.

#Bonefall OotS #Bonefall Cruel Season #Bonefall Hollyleaf #Fallenleaf #Bonefall Rewrite #And of course Holly does her thing 100 years in the past #And goes through her entire villain arc #And comes back in the future as a changed man #Only kept unfaded for the love of her family and the thought that she could apologize

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bonefall · 1 year

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what are the plot beats of bonefall tpb? i know youve mentioned its very politically focused, but what does the story really look like (if youve got that hammered out yet)?

It's very similar to Canon TPB in terms of plot beats, it's the least reworked arc because I think it's the one that needs the least amount of fixing. Even as-is I think it's a really good narrative against isolationism that just has some moderate stumbles (namely the introduction of BloodClan as the endgame enemy)

The majority of its problems come from its treatment of disability and its... terribly written romance. Even ships that should check out in theory like FireSand I think are just... frustrating at best.

So anyway I'll walk you through the changed plot beats off the top of my head. I'll also make some off-brand title changes for fun

Book 1: Into the Clans

Fireheart is aware of BloodClan to begin with and knows about their warnings of Clan Cats

Smudge has actually been seeing Spottedleaf in the darkness of the forest, she looks like an apparition of death because of her leaf-blight spots and bone-shaped markings

To begin with, more time is spent on Firepaw's apprenticeship before deposing Brokenstar

We're introduced to Channeling, which is an illegal way to contact a spirit... if they're willing to come when called. Spottedleaf does this to try and talk to her brother.

Redtail is not helpful because he is a jerk. Fireheart learns to not be afraid of death because of Spottedleaf's blithe attitude towards it

I also plan to establish at some point here that Longtail and Sandpaw's dads are Runningwind and Redtail and have Firepaw realize that the death of Redtail has affected them deeply

He considers this because he does not know what it is like to have a single dad let alone two, but if it's like losing a mom that's rough

Spottedleaf, Lionheart, and Rosetail die in the same raid where the Frostfour are snatched

Fireheart joins that patrol to retrieve the Frostfour from ShadowClan. Bluestar is on it, also.

Deerfoot is established as a rebel and Tangleburr as a Brokentail loyalist.

Deerfoot and many others don't like what Brokenstar has done, but he's a popular leader and they need help getting rid of him

Bluestar agrees to send the reinforcement they need. Tigerclaw is upset about this, citing that Clans aren't supposed to meddle in the affairs of others. They should just take the kits back honorably

An explanation of the ancient tradition of kit-stealing is given to Firepaw, which he is horrified by, but then he tunes back in to Bluestar rebuffing Tigerclaw with the Queen's Rights. He bows his head and agrees.

After Brokenstar is dethroned, Fireheart is named, and uses tarspot-blighted sycamore leaves to channel Spottedleaf for the first of many times.

Book 2: Blood and Water

Fire and Ice is basically unchanged, WindClan is retrieved, Silverstream is introduced, Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw apprenticed (though they are not below 6 moons this time), Brokenstar blinded, Cloudkit acquired, etc, but there's minor changes to motivations of scenes.

For example, the scuffle that gets Whiteclaw killed is an example of the Right of Challenge in action... and also Deadfoot and Leopardfur are equally matched the abelism in this fight bothers me.

Customary Deadfoot bonkening. All of his opponents get bonked once.

Graystripe's utter failure to train Brackenpaw is not forgotten, this is remembered. Fireheart is also asked to fill the role of Brackenpaw's mentor during the Warriorship ceremony later

Cloudkit is raised by Fireheart alone, Brindle just suckles him because Fireheart can't make milk.

Brindleface's kits are swapped! Ashkit is born later; the childhood friends of Cloudtail are Elderberry and Ferncloud.

Book 3: Old Secrets

In general THIS is the book where we would get an actual description of Thistle Law and its name

Fireheart also learns about Bluestar's Forget-Me-Nots, her old group of friends, and he starts to piece things together quicker than in canon.

For newcomers: The Forget-Me-Nots were a friend group of Bluestar, Deadfoot, Ashfoot, Barley Sr, Lizardstripe, and Oakheart. Her love of these people is what causes her to lead the way she does, helping all clans in a way unlike any other leader before her.

Similar to canon this is the book where Silverstream dies, Graystripe leaves, Tigerclaw is exiled, and Brokentail is poisoned. Not much else is different.

Book 4: Rising Fire

Runningnose does a little bit of epidemic. As a treat. Kills Cinderfur and Nightstar and installs Tigerstar

This is the book where Longtail starts to rise up as a close ally of Fireheart, more reliably than his younger sister Sandstorm who has more of her own mind.

The apprenticing of Elderpaw and Fernpaw is changed; Dustpelt is too young to have an apprentice and is rewarded for his loyalty by becoming the secondary apprentice of a Clan builder.

Frostfur gets Elderpaw, Darkstripe gets Fernpaw

Dustfern does not happen while Fernpaw is an apprentice, ick. She admires him one-sidedly while he is a young warrior arguing loudly with her awful mentor, though.

Snowkit is given some extra personality as being serious like his mom, and quite religious.

He is also a friend of Tawny and Bramble.

His death after the forest fire by a hawk is unchanged; and the start of Bluestar's cruelty arc.

We get Littlecloud and Whitethroat's thing, Cloudpaw's abduction, the beginning of Bluestar's cruelty arc, the forest fire, RiverClan sheltering them, and the deaths of Snowkit, Yellowfang, and Runningwind largely unchanged.

Book 5: Paths Chosen

Who_Let_The_Dogs_Out.mp4

Bluestar's cruelty arc continues

Ashfur is born in this book

Graystripe refuses to let Leopardstar murder Fireheart and is exiled; his kittens remember this

Cloudtail is made a warrior and Swiftpaw and Brightpaw go play with puppies

IMPORTANT: Brightpaw's "Dishonor Title" is SWIFTHOUND, it has nothing to do with her scarring. Her actions got Swiftpaw killed and that is what is dishonorable about this. Scars are a desirable trait in this rewrite.

It's a dare to StarClan; take her as Swifthound or make her live with this name.

Shuffle: Tigerstar lays claim to his kits after Swiftpaw dies, that was his oldest son and he says that ThunderClan is not capable of protecting his children

Shuffle: Sandstorm is the new mentor of Tawnypaw, Brackenfur is too young.

Firestar is aromantic, no confession scenes. These two actually have kittens together later as a form of honor-siring with coparenting.

They do the dog relay race, Elderpaw replaces Ashpaw because Ashkit is literally baby rn

Longtail replaces Graystripe on this race because Longtail's got zoomies and Graystripe's extra thick; NOT a runner.

Bluestar dies

Also as a side note the redux of Bluestar's Prophecy opens up right here, with Lizardstripe playing as her defense lawyer in StarClan and the trial framing the story. Thistleclaw also LEAVES StarClan in that book in protest to Bluestar being allowed in.

Book 6: Hour of Need (but also it would be funny if this one was called Before The Dawn and then TNP opened up with Dawn lmao)

Tigerstar actually offers BloodClan land in exchange for them helping him. This is important.

Fireheart evolves into Firestar like canon

Sorrelkit's poisoning results in her developing epilepsy after this, which will follow her for the rest of her life.

TigerClan officially forms... though I am thinking of pushing this back to the previous book so it's formed for longer.

The Bonehill is actually a really stupid idea in-universe and cats are working themselves to the BONE HHA to finish this incredibly pointless vanity project

I'm thinking a TigerClan rebel actually fetches Raven, Fire, and Gray to get them to help save the prisoners. Unsure who; maybe Primrosepaw or Reedpaw.

Execution of Stonefur like canon

There are several TigerClan rebels, one of which is Deerfoot, who help the Halfclans escape. Jaggedtooth is another, Primrosepaw, Reedpaw, Pikepaw, and Mosspelt as well.

In escaping, the only cat captured is Deerfoot

He refuses to rat out the other rebels, saving their lives, and is executed for it

Tangleburr is distraught

Later, WindClan is attacked and Gorsepaw dies.

Laterer Tigerstar gets unzipped by Scourge

AND THIS IS THE BIGGEST CHANGE;

Firestar calls to speak to Scourge, to ask what it is he really wants

He essentially learns that Scourge is sick of the dishonor of Clan cats, he was promised forest and he will have it. Diplomacy breaks down and the battle must happen

When Firestar and Scourge fight, Firestar dies once, revives, and beats him by ripping the collar off, but sparing his life.

"A true warrior does not need to kill to win their battles"

Scourge calls for a retreat

The Clans Win; but a lot of cats died on both sides

Longtail, not Graystripe, becomes deputy

Epilogue is ThunderClan, WindClan, and occasionally ShadowClan (but they're difficult) engaging in diplomacy with BloodClan, including trade and foraging rights.

Aaaaaaaand there you have it! Bonefall TPB summarized. If something wasn't mentioned here (like Tawny defecting) you can assume it happened in the book in a similar way.

#Bonefall Rewrite #Bonefall TPB #Bonefall Rewrite Summary

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bonefall · 1 year

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Can we hear about Cinderheart and bpd?

So last night I spoke to my partner about BPD cats, and we chatted about the various things that should be more common in portrayals of it. I decided I want three characters to show a good "range" of cats with it; We banged out Squirrelflight right away, and eliminated Holly shortly after

We were waffling on who should be the next two; they don't know anything about Warrior Cats so I would suggest and talk about some characters and we'd consider pros and cons of that particular one having BPD. Eventually we just started talking about artists that made relatable art, and Edvard Munch of all people came up

Something that gets lost a lot in discussions about BPD is that... it's not just the "Bad Relationship Disorder." It's a mood intensity one. We were talking specifically about The Scream, you know, this painting,

And how Munch painted it because, in his words,

"I was walking along the road with two friends – the sun was setting – suddenly the sky turned blood red – I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on the fence – there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city – my friends walked on, and I stood there trembling with anxiety – and I sensed an infinite scream passing through nature."

And Partner said that they REALLY related to that sudden intensity of their surroundings, because they looked at the night sky during a mood drop and were overwhelmed by the sudden darkness that was just, everywhere all at once, more vast than they were capable of comprehending

Me, brain floating in a soup of funny battle cat: "hey thats just like this one scene where cinderheart catches a bird"

So I posted the scene from Sign of the Moon and talked about the canon context, and how that context will be made different by my rewrite, and they were like "Yeah that's relatable, it's the way she starts overthinking out of nowhere and the mood crash that came with it"

So that was when we checked off Cinderheart as one of the characters I'm going to approach with BPD in mind, so that I can focus on how this affects her emotional state and how she copes with it. Her simplicity will let me just explore her during the relaxed, episodic version of Po3 that I'm planning to do.

She's also especially unique since none of the conflicts of canon, nor the one I'm planning in the rewrite, has to do with abuse.

In the Bonefall Rewrite, she has conflict with Lionblaze over his neglect/endangerment of their children for unrelated reasons to the health of their relationship... and it doesn't happen until late OotS/early AVoS. Leaving plenty of time for Cinderheart to have her stories.

We're also considering Lionblaze having BPD, especially to have a male character with it. BPD is often stereotyped as "Crazy Girlfriend Disorder" so we think it'll be good for a boy to have it too, and it could give the two of them common ground to discuss their emotions.

If not Lionblaze, then I could see Breezepelt having it, especially because he is becoming a major POV character in Bonefall AVoS and won't be having any relationship problems with Heathertail when they get together at the end of the arc. But anyway-- this post is about Cinderheart.

#BPD #Neurodivergence #Bonefall Rewrite #Cinderheart #Bonefall Po3

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