If I saw this man, I'd just leave my whole entire life behind and walk away defeated.

He is sexier than Top.

He is smarter than Mew.

He is greedier than Boston.

He is more aware than Nick.

He is more possessive than Ray.

And Sand is still upset over losing him. WHICH MAKES SENSE!

You know when the Power Rangers all came together to make that one big Ranger? BOEING IS THE BIG RANGER!

He is BETTER than all of them combined.

Not even Chuem's constant belittling would affect this man. If Cheum even looked in his direction, he'd probably steal April from her.

He wears yellow. He wears glasses. He is a plant daddy.

I want him carnally. I want to look at him disrespectively. I want him to push me into a locker just so I can say he touched me. I want him to treat me like trash. I want him to ruin my life.

Laws of Attraction gave me the first perfect character in Nawin, and now Ninew and Jojo have created the second perfect character.

No notes.

Just deranged lust.

Don't save me. I don't wanna be saved.

“We shall deal with your uncle and mickey egeres babakocsi his feigned boy in due time

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Sand Dollars- a Ralbert War Story

heheh hi guys im in college now and im posting a thing hello

also i know I KNOW that fugitives and titanium need some love

they will GET that love, i promise

ok ok now for the lowdown on this story-

warnings: none for this chap, but OH BOOY will there be some warnings in the future.  this is not a happy story

ship: ralbert, some kinda spalbert (but not romantic. its like,,,,platonic ish)

word count: 3228

editing: no, so plz excuse any shit

-

CHAP 1

June, 2006

Albert tugged at the collar of his uniform, inwardly cursing the stifling heat of the shaky boeing aircraft he’d been trapped on for the past fifteen hours.  A thin sheen of sweat covered his entire being and he pushed a hand through his hair, wrinkling his nose a little at the short length of his regulation cut.  He usually liked to keep his hair on the longer side when off-duty, framing his face and curling at the nape of his neck.  And even though he supposed he should be used to the short, crew cut by now, he didn’t have to like it.  Besides, the longer hair suited his face better.  Or so that’s what he was always told.

The announcement of their descent echoed through the plane and Albert sighed, vaguely wishing he’d pissed one more time before the fasten seatbelt sign flashed on again.  The eclectic mix of uniform service members that surrounded him began shifting around, readjusting their seats back to their original positions and stowing their tray tables. 

Albert rolled his eyes minutely, realizing that he should probably do the same before some asshole called him out for it.  Everything always needed to be perfect around these people.  Dress right dress and all that crap.

But as much as all this shit gave him a headache, there was no place he’d rather be.   

His circumstances growing up had been less than ideal.  A dead mother at nine and an absent father at eleven had gotten him dumped into the foster care system with his two brothers (who he eventually got separated from and hadn’t heard from since.  Which he definitely wasn’t still fucking devastated about.  No, he was good at moving on and dealing with his shit.  Yeah, very good).  No less than fourteen homes later, he turned 18 and finally, finally, he was done being some fucking ward of the state.  

But fourteen homes meant just as many, if not more, schools.  And when you’re being shoved from household to household with nothing but a couple bags filled with clothes and other absolute essentials, you don’t really have time to do well in school or apply to colleges.  

The National Guard had sounded like a blessing at the time.  An absolute saving grace with health and financial benefits to last him a literal lifetime.  He always had been good at listening to directions and taking orders, so he figured he’d be a perfect fit.  And he had.  

Those first few years between enlisting and basic training had been some of the best of Albert’s life.  He’d made bonds to last him a lifetime, felt the thrill of having something that was his and he was good at.  He had found purpose where he previously had none.

Then three planes had gone and crashed into the Twin Towers and Pentagon and everything went to shit.

Albert and one of his buddies from Basic, Sean (who went by Spot, but nobody knew why.  Albert had asked once and Spot had just smiled and kicked him in the shin) were living in New York at the time, having moved into a little apartment on the Upper East Side.  The morning of September 11 had yielded one of the clearest, bluest skies Albert had seen in his entire life. 

He remembered waking up to a call from his squad leader, barely able to comprehend the situation through his killer fucking hangover.  He and Spot really hadn’t planned on getting hammered on a Monday night, but sometimes life in your early 20s just happened like that.

The next four days had been a blur of smoke, sirens, debri, and dust.  So much dust.  It had taken weeks for Albert to feel like the damn stuff was finally out of his lungs and if he still thought about it too hard, a phantom tickle would creep up in his chest.

He tried not to think about that week too much.  Spot and him had returned home around the same time, both in varying states of exhaustion and dissociation.  They didn’t discuss what they had individually been through, but an unspoken understanding of the nightmare they’d both witnessed had led them into the same bed that night, the need to forget shrouding everything else.

Albert and Spot’s relationship wasn’t anything that could be truly named.  They weren’t best friends.  They weren’t boyfriends.  They weren’t fuckbuddies.  But they understood each other better than anyone Albert had ever known in his 27 years on this god forsaken earth.  And in that understanding, the knowledge that sometimes you just need to feel good for a night went without having to be spoken.  Feeling good didn’t just mean sex, though.  They cuddled a fair amount too, which was strange considering how touch averse Spot was with other people.  During their first deployment, though, several long days had led to quiet nights spent in each others arms, where they allowed themselves to forget the horrors they were subject to witness and just be. 

They were basically inseparable.  So when the heavens happened upon them and they were to be deployed into the same battalion again, despite Albert climbing through the ranks and surpassing Spot by a fair deal, he had silently thanked a god he hadn’t prayed to since eight years old.

Leaving home was easy, mostly because Albert didn’t have anyone to leave behind.  Spot was already overseas, having left a couple weeks earlier while Albert finished up some things down at the Pentagon.  While being deployed sucked, Albert at least had Spot to look forward to.

The plane jolted, tilting a little as it made it made its final descent into the Tal Afar Airport.  Albert leaned back against the headrest, closing his eyes and white knuckling the armrests.  He was a fine flyer once the plane was up in the air, but taking off and landing fucked him upside down and sideways. 

He was just beginning to count his breaths, clamping down the rolling waves of motion sickness, when a low voice spoke next to him.

“Are you alright, sir?” Albert cracked open an eye, glancing sideways at the person next to him, “Not a fan of flying?” 

The guy looked...rugged.  There was no other word for it.  His black hair was cut close to his head, well within regulation and looking a little patchy at the sides.  His wide set eyes were sharp and calculating, glinting with something like mischief that would unsettle Albert if he hadn’t seen that look a million times over in the mirror.  He looked younger than Albert by a good few years and the lack of shadows in his gaze and on his face cast a look of innocence over him.  Albert remembered those days- when naivety led him to a false sense of security.  He had been untouchable; indestructible.  

“Only take off and landing,” Albert said, clearing his throat and putting on what had to look like a strained smile.  He pried his right hand off the armrest and held it out for the guy to shake, “First Sergeant Albert Dasilva.  Good to meet ya.”

The guy had a firm handshake and he didn’t seem to mind that Albert’s palm was a little sweaty from nerves, “Private Elmer Kasprzak.”

Albert smiled, “First time in the Sandbox?”

Elmer smiled, looking a little self deprecating, “That obvious, sir?”

Albert shook his head, aiming for comforting, but still sounding vaguely choked, “I just know the look.  Way too excited.”

“Oh,” Elmer furrowed his brow, looking like he was trying to decide whether to be offended or not, “I’m just happy to finally be on the frontline, sir.”

“I commend you,” Albert said, wistfully, “It’s a brave thing to be doing with such a strong attitude.”

Elmer blushed, “Thank you, sir.”

“You don’t have to tack ‘sir’ onto every sentence,” Albert assured him, “Some guys are really strict about that, so keep in the habit, but I’m not too picky.”

“Oh, okay s- uh, okay,” Elmer flushed deeper and Albert chuckled a little bit patting his knee.

The plane touched down with a jerk and Albert closed his eyes again briefly while it slowed.  Eventually, it came to a stop and the fasten seatbelt sign flashed off.  Albert reopened his eyes to see Elmer staring out the window, awe and apprehension noticeable through the look in his eyes and the crease between his brows.

“C’mon, Private,” Albert said, unbuckling and clapping the younger man’s shoulder, “we got places to be.”

XXX

Getting assigned last minute to a completely new battalion and then being shipped overseas two weeks later was not how Race suspected he’d be spending his first year out of West Point.  He didn’t mind really.  He hadn’t really had any true connections to his old squad and after his little incident with Oscar Delancey, a new start was appreciated.

That didn’t make the whiplash of deployment any less bittersweet.  

His nerves hadn’t stopped twisting since General Kelly had informed him of his new assignment, going back and forth between excitement and paralyzing anxiety until his gut was furling with both simultaneously.  But now that he was here, things were starting to settle within him.  This was his life now and it was going to be his life for the next twelve months.  Better get used to it.

He put the last of his shirts in one of his dresser drawers, casting a cursory glance around his side of the room, before eyeing his cheap, Walmart alarm clock.  09:45.  The next wave of soldiers should be arriving soon and with them, his roommate.

A wave of anticipation rolled through Race’s stomach and he grimaced.  He had yet to make any meaningful connections with his soldiers so far, many of them wary of having a new CO.  But he was a people person and this alienation was killing him, even though he understood their hesitation.  Part of him hoped that whoever his roommate ended up being wouldn’t hold the same vigilance towards him.  Maybe he could even make a friend.  Someone he could theoretically get a drink with.  Completely hypothetically, of course.  Drinking wasn’t allowed on base.

Sighing, Race grabbed his patrol cap, cramming it onto his head and grabbing a pack of cigarettes from his desk.  He bounded down the stairs to his trailer and made his way over to the coffee line, nodding his greeting at a small clique of soldiers as he passed.  He only got a couple nods in return, and every single one of them wore matching, judgemental looks.  Race tried not to take it to heart.

The line for coffee took forever and Race hummed a little to himself, toying with the pack of cigarettes in his pocket while he waited for the cue to move at a snail’s pace.  Once he held his little styrofoam cup in hand, he ventured off to the smoking pit, draining his coffee along the way.  

Soldiers were beginning to arrive and Race lit up a cigarette, watching with casual curiosity as groups flooded into camp.  He eyed them, vaguely wondering who each of them was.  Who he would get along with.  Who he would despise.  Who would despise him.

He quickly got overwhelmed again and stomped out his finished stub, lighting up another to kill a few more minutes.

An indiscernible amount of time passed and Race kicked his last cigarette to the dust, pulling back the sleeve of his ACU jacket and checking the time.  11:15.  Damn, that coffee line really had taken forever.

Deeming his little break long enough, Race wandered back towards his trailer, heart rate kicking up a bit when he noticed that the door was propped open.

Steeling himself, Race climbed the stairs, knocking once on the door jamb, before ducking inside.

The person inside turned his head, peering up from where he was folding a few grey, regulation workout pants on his recently made cot.

He was wearing his ACU pants and boots, but his jacket had been discarded and with a quick glance around, Race found it draped over the back of his desk chair.  The guy was attractive- a sharp jawline accentuated by his pale skin and dark red hair, which was trimmed attractively, fading up the sides.  It was as if the guy knew from experience how to make the most of the look without pushing regulation.  His arms and chest were muscular, highlighted by the stretch of his tan, liner t-shirt.  

A charming smile stretched across the guys face as he straightened up, crossing the small expanse of their room and holding out a hand, which Race took firmly.

“First Sergeant Albert Dasilva,” He said, his voice smooth and a little gravelly, “Pleasure to meet you, sir.”

Race smiled back, “Lieutenant Antonio Higgins,” he said, hoping he sounded a lot more confident than he felt, “I’m honored to be working with you and your squadron and I’m looking forward to getting to know everyone.”

Albert dropped his hand, turning back to continue unpacking his things.  He only had one large duffle and two small carry on bags and suddenly, Race felt self conscious about his two duffle and impressive assortment of other luggage.  

“Honestly, we’re just lucky that you were available to serve with us, sir,” Dasilva said, straightening his shoes by his closet, dress right dress, “Everyone was really bummed and pretty panicked when Lieutenant Morris fucked up his leg, so it’s great that General Kelly was able to get you on board so quick.”

Race crossed to his side of the room, tossing his cap back onto his cot and slumping into his own desk chair, “I was pretty eager to get overseas, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen so quick.”

Dasilva hummed, sounding a little surprised, “This is your first deployment?” He asked, looking over his shoulder and raising his eyebrows a little.

“Yeah,” Race said, ducking his head a little as he flushed, “Just got outta West Point last May.”

Dasilva whistled, looking impressed, “You musta done damn well if you’re already a Lieutenant,” he said, smiling a little challengingly, “and add the fact that Kelly sought you out directly,” he shook his head, bemused, “Damn, sir, you’ve got quite the rep.”

Race wrinkled his nose, “My so called ‘rep’ ain’t really getting me anywhere with your men.”

Dasilva shrugged a shoulder, waving his hand dismissively, “Don’t take whatever they’re doing to heart,” he said, “They’re all still upset about Lieutenant Morris.  He was a great Lieutenant and a lot of the guys are still feeling his absence.  They’ll warm up to you, sir.”

Race grunted noncommittally.  He knew that Dasilva was trying to make him feel better with his little pep talk, but the knot in Race’s stomach only grew.  It seemed like he had pretty fucking big shoes to fill.

“Aha!”

Race was pulled out of his spiraling worries by Dasilva’s voice and he looked up to see him holding a toothbrush and toothpaste.

“Finally found them,” Dasilva said, triumphantly.  He waved them a little in Race’s direction, “I’m gonna go freshen up.  That fifteen hour flight always makes me feel grungy as shit.”

Race nodded his acknowledgement, watching as his new bunkmate exited the room and traipsed down the steps, leaving the door open behind him.  He could see him greeting other soldiers with a level of enthusiasm and charm Race could only dream to match.  His jealousy spiked even further when he got equally happy greetings in response.

Blowing out a measured breath, Race flipped open his notebook, toying with the pristine patch on the front as he vaguely studied the Arabic terms he’d been practicing on the plane ride there.

He was pretty good already, if he said so himself, with an impressive language proficiency score of 3+ under his belt.  But solidifying knowledge was always beneficial, no matter one’s skill.

A few minutes later, Dasilva bounded back through the door to their trailer, finally easing the door shut behind him.  He stuck his toothpaste and toothbrush back into his little hygiene kit and tucked the thing neatly into the top drawer of his dresser.  

Race kept his eyes on his notebook, not entirely sure how to progress with their conversation.  He was out of his depth- usually being the loud and confident one, but somehow rendered socially inept in this completely foreign environment.

Dasilva didn’t seem to notice his internal battle, though, and a moment later, he spoke up.

“You fluent yet?”

Race startled a bit, looking up, “Almost, I’m still working on conversational communication, but I’ve got all the basics in the bag.”

Dasilva grinned, seemingly not jarred by the sudden change in language, “That’s good.  Already something you have over Lieutenant Morris.  With him, we almost always needed a terp on site.”

“No need for one of those here,” Race said, switching back to english.

“Obviously, sir,” Dasilva agreed.  There was another lull in conversation, but Dasilva didn’t seem uncomfortable, “Do you like running?”

Race felt his stomach flip excitedly, “Yeah, actually, I love it.  Did track all through middle in high school.  That’s actually where-”  He cut himself off hastily.  Dasilva did not need to know about his little adolescent nickname that he still used unironically.  Not yet anyway.

Dasilva gave him a funny look, but didn’t push, “Great.  I go running every morning with one of my buddies before call.  You’re welcome to join us if you want.”

“That sounds nice,” Race said, “I’d love to.  Who’s your buddy?” He added out of curiosity.

“Sean Conlon,” Dasilva stated and Race hummed, recognizing the name, but not having a face to put it with, “He and I go way back.”

The weight of the words seemed to hold something heavy, but Race returned Dasilva’s courtesy and didn’t push.

“Sounds like a good guy,” Race said, “What time should I wake up?”

“We usually go around 04:45,” Dasilva said, leaning back into his regulation pillows, “You’ll probably hear my alarm anyway.”

Race nodded, “I’ll set one on my clock, too, just in case.”

“Good plan.”

A knock at their door had both of them exchanging a curious look.  Race stood to get it and found a taller man with straight, cropped brown hair and a rigid nose standing at ease outside the door.  He smiled cordially when Race looked up at him and offered him a hand.

“Lieutenant Higgins?” Race nodded and the man shook his hand firmly, “Excellent.  Captain David Jacobs, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You too, sir.”

“General Kelly would like to see you over in his office,” Jacobs continued, sounding a little warmer.  His eyes flicked over Race’s shoulder to Dasilva, who hastily stood at attention.

“First Sergeant Albert Dasilva, sir,” Dasilva said, his voice hardening as he saluted.

“At ease, soldier,” Jacobs said, “Pleasure to meet you.”

They all stood in silence for a short pause, before Race awkwardly turned and grabbed his patrol cap.  

“General Kelly requested for me now, sir?” He asked Jacobs.

“Yes,” Jacobs confirmed.

“Alright,” Race placed the cap on his head and looked back to where Dasilva was still standing, “I’ll see you later, Sergeant.”

“See you, sir,” Dasilva smirked, “Good luck.”

Race resisted stating that he’ll need it as the trailer door swung closed behind him.

-

thanks for reading, chiefs

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God’s Grace Through Pandemic Life | #45 | October 2020

As I strolled through the neighborhood on my last week in Reno, after days of freeze warnings and fire watch alerts that I saw on my phone, once-green tree leaves had become red, orange, amber and upon the earth. I’d walked with jacket layers, for I felt the breeze of change. 

I celebrated this Hallowe’en in Vegas, where weather’s warmer. Rather than helping at trick-or-treating events of years past, I’d urged against people going around, given we’re in a pandemic. Staying inside, I wrote this month’s tales. 

I start us back in Mongolia, February 2020, then bring us up to nowadays via March, June, September and October. Since we’re amid Allhallowtide, the Christian sequence of All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day, I’ve decided to make God’s works the topic of today. Whether you read as a Christian or non-Christian, I hope you feel hope! 

A traditional Catholic prayer called the Examen involves one considering one’s day to recognize areas where God appeared present. Through this type of reflection, Christians better understand how God exists in every moment of all things. Often, this awareness takes conscious efforts to seek and recognize the Spirit. So in October’s tale, I seek it. 

February: Mongolia’s Churches Closed 

Eight months ago, I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Mongolia packing to evacuate to America. By Sunday, March 1, I would be boarding a Peace Corps vehicle with just my backpacks and a suitcase, having by then had to have said final goodbyes.

The Saturday night before, Feb. 29, a local CICM missionary priest visited my apartment. Back in this spring 2020, I’d written to you about how he and I related as foreign Catholics amid pandemic restrictions. I felt consoled by our discussions that night. 

My friend looked a bit glum when he said that this was his first Ash Wednesday without Mass. By mid-February, Mongolia had already barred large public gatherings, including church attendance. My friend explained how many Catholic churches, such as those in Korea and Taiwan, experienced the same. I realized that this must have been my first Ash Wednesday without Mass, too—what an uncertain start to Lent. 

But my friend and I moved from our dreary topic. We chatted about Mongolia’s culture, American culture and the Congo’s, from where he came. Reflecting on the culture that I’d soon encounter in the States felt refreshing. I felt glad that our discussions readied me for what would come. 

My friend and I also discussed Mongolia’s Lunar New Year /Tsagaan Sar/ that had begun that week. We asked each other how many бууз /boe-z/, the traditional steamed dumplings, we’d eaten. He said 15, and I guessed that I’d had at least 30. We chuckled. 

My priest raised an insightful point. Compared to more widespread Western practices, Mongolian hospitality felt like it extended across both the rich and poor. My experiences that very morning fit well his observation. An older Mongol friend who’d often given me lifts downtown or back had invited me to the house of his shopkeeper friend. And while the shopkeeper may have had more than other Mongols, he and others gave freely and generously. 

Shortly after reflecting with the missionary, my older friend returned to my apartment. To both I gave from my fridge and shelves all the food and ingredients they’d accept. We said bittersweet goodbyes. At least I could give as I’d received.  

God has a way too with echoing my late mother in my mind. My friendship with fellow foreigners in Mongolia reminded me of hers in America. She would befriend Chinese and Asian immigrants. When I was little in Indiana, I used to think that Mom simply liked to have friends who looked like her. Years later, when I’d met our relatives in China, they’d told me how she’d help foreign students who’d come to America. She sounded so selfless. And, after my own experiences being a foreigner in, for me, a foreign land, I realized that even the companionship of those who share experiences provides vital social support (Deut. 10:19). 

Comforted on my final night in the city whose people I’d committed to serve, I felt renewed on my sudden path to leave. 

March: America’s Churches Open

One week later—Sat. March 7—was my first full day back in Vegas. It also marked my return to church for the first time in weeks. At that time, my brothers were still busy with school, and our papa worked in another city. So, I went alone. 

Going alone let me arrive early and slip into wherever I wanted to sit. Still, my experiences as a Knight of Columbus led me to favor the front, where few go, anyway. I could hardly believe how in Mongolia so much had already closed yet in the States people acted as though the pandemic was hardly real. People in Mongolia hadn’t gotten the virus, yet people in Vegas already had. 

Still, the Mass felt refreshing. Reading the English-language hymnal hearing English-language speakers made so much a breeze. In fact, singing familiar music reminded me of going alone to the bishop’s Thanksgiving 2017 Mass when I visited home the year Mom died. Parishioners at that time had commented that I sang well. 

In March 2020, I kind of hoped that people wouldn’t comment, so I could lie low. But at Mass’s end, a woman in front of me complimented me, saying that she’d love to see me in up with the choir. Well, there’s my introduction. 

I approached the choir director to learn how to volunteer. I applied that week. When the office woman read my application, she commended that America could really use a person like me, speaking Chinese and Mongolian. I felt glad. 

In seven of eight days (week 1, March 7-14) I’d attended Mass, which was definitely a personal record. I spent almost my whole Friday, March 13 enjoying the church’s Lenten activities including Stations of the Cross and Adoration. 

But I could feel how times have changed. Seeing the newer Fr. Marc many days instead of our past Fr. Jim felt weird. I’d only seen Fr. Marc once, at Christmas 2019, because he’d started during the summer I left for Peace Corps. Fr. Jim, on the other hand, had pastored there since 2013, from my high school sophomore year till past my college graduation. 

At the week’s daily Masses, elderly folks treated me as a new member. They commended me as a young person for showing up to morning prayer, rosary and Mass. To be fair, in all my family’s years since 2008 there, we’d participated in few functions outside Sundays. My late ma was our exception, having sung in the choir. Still, hearing folks commend me for coming to church reminded me of my conversation the week before in Mongolia with my priest who came to say farewell—how much we missed the Mass. 

A week later, my second in America, churches closed from the pandemic. This made more sense. Still, I loved my brief week back in church. I’d recounted Easter 2020 in my story of week 6 (April 10-16). Now, let’s fast-forward! 

June: Feeling Called to Reach Out

On my last June Wednesday, week 16 (June 19-25), I was in Reno, Nev., taking part in our Carmelite Monastery’s Zoom prayer session. We couldn’t meet in person. During our long contemplative silence, I felt this urge to share with a handful of specific friends my then most recent blog story, “Fathers’ Day, Familiarity and Faith | #38 | June 2020.” 

I felt surprised by this idea and sat with it for a while. Ultimately I felt convinced that I ought to share. 

I learned that one of the women to whom I sent the story, a friend of mine from high school, had been working for our congressman’s office. We enjoyed catching up. She even shared with me online events about religious diversity. 

A couple months later, week 24 (Aug. 14-20), the National Peace Corps Association (NPCA) advocacy had requested that I arrange meetings with my congressman’s office. I remembered that I had a friend there. I reached out to her, and she was my in. Her colleagues quickly set a conference call with me and Returned Peace Corps Volunteers. 

A month of advocacy followed. Then, on week 27 (Sept. 4-10), the NPCA held a check-in call. They mentioned that I should have already been receiving Pandemic Unemployment Assistance (PUA). So, they suggested that I reach out to my congressman’s office. 

Actually, I consider that 2020 week of Sept. 9 my ‘seven days of wonder’ for its great and many unexpected happenings. The week coincidentally followed a few months’ consecutive daily rosaries. Well, I reached out once more to my friend. 

By the next week 28 (Sept. 11-18), after my struggles with the system since mere days after I’d reached the States from Mongolia, I was, in September, then finally receiving the PUA. 

I felt extremely privileged and grateful to have had that connection who could help me. I felt awed by how I’d reconnected with her simply because I felt called in prayer to do so. God works in mysterious ways! 

September: Wondrous Feelings

Usually, car rides between Reno and Vegas can be for many the most lackluster trips across the American west. Well, this time was different! 

During the ride to Vegas ending my week 29 (Sept. 18-24), Dad drove, and my tita /tee-tuh/ (my Filipina stepmom) rode shotgun when she wasn’t driving. Well, Tita suggested that she and I pray a rosary. I felt surprised, since Dad had said that his mom would pray rosaries on car rides. Dad said that the two of us could do the praying for him. Thankfully, since my COVID summer rosaries, I’ve grown accustomed to praying on the fly! 

I procured from my pocket the blue rosary that my mom had gifted me in commemoration of my First Communion 2005—one that I’d repaired last year with a Mexican cross I received at World Youth Day. Anyway, I liked to keep it with me. Tita and I prayed the Luminous Mysteries since it was Thursday. Luminous are my favorites, too. They feature Jesus’ teaching, Transfiguration and Last Supper—all among my favorite Biblical moments. 

Well, after we finished, I noticed that I had cell service again (a blessing in rural Nevada). I also had received a Facebook message from someone unfamiliar, with a uni listed in Hong Kong. The message thanked me for having written an article. I felt joyfully confused and typed to ask which. He wrote that he meant my one about learning Mongolian! He added, he wanted to travel to Mongolia. 

I felt pleased. I’d just finished the piece my week before, recounting experiences learning languages. When I asked him what languages he knows, he mentioned Chinese and added that his English isn’t very good. So, I swapped to Chinese characters, writing back and forth in those. He added that he too is learning Mongolian, so I briefly hopped to Mongolian! Then we settled on Chinese. 

Every so often, when my cell service went spotty, I recounted to Tita my joys from this conversation. 

Turns out that my new friend worked for a media corporation in Southern (Inner) Mongolia in China. I added, what a coincidence, since I’d studied journalism as an undergrad! He asked on what topics I’d reported, so I linked articles about my pieces on religious and ethnic diversity. He felt amazed! I insisted that I’ve great teachers, friends and God to thank. 

By this time, Tita was driving, and we reached Tonopah, the halfway point between Reno and Vegas. Cellular data was stable, so I figured I’d better finish the conversation. With all these coincidences, I felt joys like those of the Magnificat! 

I asked the friend about the topics on which he reports. He wrote that he interviews people and covers Chinese Mongols, including their culture, economy and, more recently, the pandemic. His interest in Mongolian culture is why he’s studying their language. I felt amazed! I love when people share stories about diverse groups. 

The friend had added that he looked forward to reading more of my work. I felt delighted. Finally, I asked how he’d found my work. Turns out he was reading about Mongolia’s education, came across the Peace Corps, and my article popped up. Somehow after that, he found me on Facebook and messaged me, too! The internet astounds me. 

Earlier in the week, I’d attended a seminar in which panelists assured me that whether or not people read my work, I should continue to practice writing daily. Well, somehow my work found someone all the way on our globe’s other side. 

And earlier that day, I’d connected online with a stateside Chinese instructor who’d had some free time, being short on students due to the pandemic. She offered to teach me for free, just because I wanted to learn! I felt overjoyed at her offer and thankful that she wrote how glad she was that we’d found each other. 

How could I be so blessed? 

After all, I’d been already working with a friend to learn my Latin who similarly found joy in instructing me from my sheer willingness to learn. Well, the evening’s surprise conversation with the reporter in Chinese Mongolia gave me my answer. 

I, too, try to freely share so others might learn. I’m like those who teach me. So blessed! 

October: To Church Again and Again (...And Again!)

I empathize with Americans who insist that we need to reopen churches amid this pandemic. I really worry about public health, and indoor churches can be dangerous when people don’t take all the proper precautions. Despite these, some churches take proper precautions. I felt gladdened this month by multiple opportunities to visit church.

Overall, October was a great month for my faith. 

It kicked off with reuniting with the first Peace Corps Mongolia Volunteer from my cohort I’d seen since March! Drew and I had made our farewells in Berlin, Germany, so seeing each other again in Reno, Nev., of all places felt amazing. We swapped religious and spiritual resources like the good ol’ days when we’d served in neighboring Mongolian provinces.

After having been out of church since March 2020 (just watching the liturgies online), I’d gotten to attend Catholic Masses five times! For a Catholic Christian like me, the Mass can be an especially consoling experience with Christ, fellow believers and a religious leader. 

My first Masses since week 1 (March 7-14) were in week 31 (Oct. 2-8). My family had come up for our youngest sister’s confirmation at Our Lady of Wisdom Newman Center, Reno, originally to happen at Easter. The Mass felt different, with people so far apart. I felt flickers of memory from my 2016 confirmation and those that I’d attended over the years. So few people this year with such distance between us left me feeling strange but still gladdened by the fellowship. 

After the event, we ate out at a Taiwanese restaurant decorated with pictures of the 101. I remembered friends and felt nostalgic about my life in Taipei. I miss Asia. 

The Thursday after, fellow Brother Knights of Columbus and I revisited Reno’s cathedral. It had tile floors now instead of carpet. This felt surreal. I hadn’t expected to be there in a while. My Grand Knights and I used to serve there mornings of my undergrad. But, staff still remembered us, greeting us warmly. The place was beautiful. My Worthy Brothers and I returned there the week after, leading up to Fall Retreat 2020. 

Winding Up on Retreat

I feel that God does funny things in our lives. Even what we perceive as inconveniences wind up serving His greater mission. My folks and I thought that I would have a ride down to Vegas for the weekend after Fall Retreat, so I let the coordinators know that I’d be around to attend. 

Through a series of miscommunications, we found on the morning of Retreat that I actually didn’t have a ride to Vegas. But, too late to change that! 

Fall Retreat was awesome, getting to “Be Still” (Mk. 4:39). It was my first retreat since spring 2019, a year and a half prior. Amid undergrad, I was attending two to four retreats a year. Coincidentally, my freshman’s Spring Retreat 2016 theme too was “Be Still” (Ps. 46:10). 

On Retreat, coordinators had posted up a still from the Pope’s Lenten 2020 “Urbi et Orbi” (to the City and to the World) prayer service in the Vatican. I recalled having seen that on TV, the surrounding darkness beyond his platform’s lights, my week 4 (March 27-April 2). Reflecting on this image and others during week 33 (Oct. 16-22) reminded me of just how long I’ve been back in the States weathering this pandemic. 

The retreat reintroduced me to the Ignatian Examen prayer, so I resumed that, too! Retreat’d helped me to remember that solidarity with Christ and fellow believers is crucial to my spiritual wellbeing. 

My fourth October Mass concluded our day. To have a closing Mass reminded me of World Youth Day in Panamá, an exclamation point to mark a grand day. I’d taken years to appreciate the Mass this much. 

Later that week, I got to attend Mass one last time, followed by learning this new game, “Among Us” with the students. Evidently it fits the Hallowe’en season! Fellowship is fun.  

Being Prepared

By mid-October, week 32 (Oct. 9-15), I’d resumed my grad school search after my Latin-tutoring friend taking the LSAT suggested that I take the GRE while still here in the States. 

Meanwhile, the friend with whom I’ve been reading a Psalm a day suggested that I should move to D.C. for its foreign service opportunities. When I mentioned to her my grad school search, she asked a series of probing questions to better understand my intentions. After all, not too many people declare that they want to devote graduate studies to Chinese Christianity. 

The next day, I had a Zoom call with a Catholic writer in Malta. I felt surprised that all the questions my friend asked to encourage me to think critically reappeared as similar questions that the writer asked to gauge my interests. 

I felt gleefully surprised by similarities. I answered his questions with much greater clarity than my friend’s. He gave me clear advice. 

Both encouraged me to remember no matter my work to put God first. As my friend noted, religious leaders of Jesus’ time, according to Scripture, had focused more on the words than their meanings. She insisted that I take to heart the meanings. She and the Catholic writer reminded me of my other spiritual mentors. I felt glad. 

November: Election Day!

After seeing my media mentors before I left Reno and having watched the U.S. presidential debates online, I felt drawn to read “Beyond the Messy Truth” by Van Jones. In his book, Jones tries to pinpoint American thoughts that shaped the 2016 election and teach us to understand and respect many perspectives. 

People pray on both sides that their candidates win. I pray more that with whatever happens, people on both sides accept the outcome. In these United States, we need decency to work together. 

Well, with Bon Jovi’s “2020” on my room’s music player I’ve worked on another few lovely blog stories for you~ Regardless of which way the election goes, my end-of-October story will cover American diversity! Hopefully we’ll know our next president by my time of writing. I’m hoping to include in that second tale this month, too, anecdotal adventures with my present and future. 

The closer I get to January, the more I realize I might be going back to Mongolia soon. Keep me in your prayers. And see you on the flipside! 

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

Far From Home, Part Twelve: Miracles

Series Summary: Reader is torn from her reality and dumped into the middle of a war. Will she make it home? Or will she find where she belongs? A Rogue One Reader Insert Fanfiction. Gifs and recognizable characters are not mine, but the story and all of the mistakes are!

Far From Home - Masterlist

Chapter Notes: So, the song here happened to be playing when I was writing one of the earlier chapters... and I realized that it really fits the world they’re living in. Boom. Moment of Clarity. :-) Song is ‘When You Believe’ which is performed beautifully by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. It is from the movie, Prince of Egypt. If you haven’t seen/heard it.... worth a google for the song alone. But the movie is pretty great too.

Warnings for this chapter: PTSD  

To say the presentation of K-2 went well, was an understatement. General Draven actually smiled. Like, legitimately smiled.

It was terrifying.

He congratulated Cassian and I for “bringing such a valuable asset to the cause.” In General Draven speak, I think it means he loves us and wants to adopt us.

Probably not.

I’m still going to think it.

After the presentation, I was disappointed to find out that Boe Boe and Rhayna had been given another mission and were due to leave in an hour. I wasn’t cleared for off-planet missions yet, so I was grounded and would be working with the team of mechanics to keep the ships up and running. I was torn between feeling grateful and bored.

You haven’t even started yet.

I left with Boe Boe and Rhayna chatting happily. Cassian stayed behind to discuss his next mission with the General. I couldn’t help the pang of sadness that he would probably be leaving soon as well.

And you wouldn’t even let him kiss you.

We sat down on some crates just outside of the hangar, and Boe Boe provided snacks while we waited for their ship to be loaded with supplies.

God bless this Gran, he always has food.

Sitting in a peaceful silence, Boe Boe nudged me. “So, I couldn’t help but notice. What’s going on between you and Captain Andor?”

I choked on the food in my mouth.

I take back my blessing.

When I could breathe again, I tried to play coy, “What do you mean?”

Smooth.

“Oh, come on, don’t play dumb.” He held out a finger to count. “He hand-picks you for your first mission.”

He did?

Boe Boe holds out a second finger. “When he brought you back injured, he nearly killed anyone in his path with his expression alone as he carried you to the med bay.”

I looked at Rhayna and she just shrugged.

Thanks for the support friend.

Time for the third finger. “Every moment when he wasn’t working on that miserable droid, he was in the med bay watching over you. I don’t think he even slept until you woke up the first time.”

He… watched over you.

I was almost nervous to hear what may come next, but Boe Boe held his fourth finger and said. “Last but not least, he re-programmed that droid for you. No one has ever done it before, but he did it so your first mission wouldn’t be a failure.”

Wow.

“So, I believe there’s something going on there. And as your best friend…” This earned a glare from Rhayna, “I have the right to know.”

“We’re just…” I said, biting my lip trying to figure out how to describe the dynamics of Cassian and I. It bothered me that I wasn’t even sure what to call us.

“Friends?” Boe Boe said, suspiciously.

“Lovers?” Rhayna said with a grin.

“Partners.” I decided.

They both groaned.

“Fine then, keep your secrets.” I smiled as Boe Boe threw my words back at me.

“I give it a week before she confesses her undying love for him.” Rhayna said, winking at me.

“Nah, they’re both stubborn. My bet is at least a month.” Boe Boe challenged.

Feeling a blush creep into my cheeks, I watched as they set the terms. Apparently, my love life is worth fifty credits.

Not bad.

It was late by the time Boe Boe and Rhayna had departed. Exhausted, I decided to head back to my room to get some sleep and prepare for my first day working with the mechanics. It wasn’t until I stood in front of my door that I remembered the nightmare. This would be the first night I would try sleeping again without the medication, and I felt sick knowing what may be in store for me.

Remember what Cassian said.

I took a deep breath. “The nightmares mean there is still hope for us.”

Good girl.

Steeling myself, I walked in the room and went to bed.

The nightmare started the same as before.

K-2SO was at my side, and I was pointing my blaster at the man in front of me.

“You have a one-hundred percent chance of dying if you don’t shoot now.” K-2 said.

This time, when I looked back, it was Boe Boe who was pointing the blaster at me.

I looked desperately back at K-2. “There has to be another way.” I pleaded.

“Your own death is an option.” Was his cold response.

I could feel the tears start to fall as I turned back to my friend and squeezed the trigger.

Your friends will die because of you.

“No, I can save them.” I said, rushing to Boe Boe’s side.

You can’t help them, you’re weak.

As I watched Boe Boe’s life fade, I realized that I believed the words.

I woke up screaming again. I was alone this time, and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

It was just a dream.

“Is it?” I choked out between sobs.

It’s all in your head.

“What if they die?”

You can’t save everyone.

“Then what’s the point?”

There was no answer, and it bothered me. I needed to get away. I threw the covers off myself and ran out of my bedroom, desperate for air. I was fortunate enough to find that the halls were empty, the majority of the base inhabitants fast asleep. Even then, I didn’t want to take the chance that someone may see me in my distressed state, so I took a less direct route outside.

I burst through the door that led outside and stopped, gasping in the cool air of the night. To my immense relief, there was no one in sight. Once my breathing stabilized, I sat in the dirt leaning against the temple wall. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them trying to relax. As I always have when I am frightened, I asked the questions.

What do you know for sure?

“My name is Y/N. I am 23 years old. I live on Yavin 4. I am a Captain in the Alliance to Restore the Public.”

Why?

That one was new.

“I…. I want to help.”

Who?

“All of them. Everyone who lost their homes and families to the Empire. Boe Boe. Rhayna. Cassian…”

How?

A tear escaped my eye, and I hugged my knees closer to my chest. “I don’t know.”

That’s not good enough.

I wiped the tears off my face, then took a deep, steadying breath. “I’m going to fight for them. I’m going to do anything I can, whatever it takes, to help them find their peace.”

Good girl.

I don’t know how long I sat there, thinking of the friends I had made since I arrived at Yavin 4. Knowing that they were out there somewhere, gave me comfort. Eventually, I thought of what Cassian had said trying to comfort me in the med bay.

He said that you’re safe now. You’re home.

In the time I had spent on Earth, I had never felt the warmth that began to spread through me in that moment. This world may be dark and terrifying in every way, but the people here had swiftly worked their way into my heart. I had found my home, after all this time.

I smiled, comforted be the sudden realization. It was in that moment that a song I had heard as a child popped in my head and I couldn’t help but sing it to the trees.

Many nights we've prayed, with no proof anyone could hear. In our hearts a hopeful song, we barely understood.

Now we are not afraid. Although we know there's much to fear. We were moving mountains long before we knew we could.

There can be miracles, when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve. When you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

In this time of fear, when prayers so often prove in vain. Hope seems like the summer birds, so swiftly flown away.

Yet now I'm standing here. My heart's so full I can't explain. Seeking faith and speaking words, I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve. When you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

They don't always happen when you ask. And it's easy to give in to your fears. But when your blinded by your pain, can't see your way straight through the rain. A small but still, resilient voice, says love is very near.

There can be miracles, when you believe. Through hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve. When you believe, somehow you will. Now you will. You will when you believe.

By the time I finished the song, I felt better.

“Y/N?” I jumped, startled, when I heard Cassian’s voice.

Sneaky sneaky.

“Captain Andor, I didn’t realize you were here.” I said as I stood and brushed the dirt off my clothes.

“I’m sorry.” He said dipping his head, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just, didn’t expect to hear a voice out here at this time.” He kept his focus on the dirt.

He heard you.

I felt my cheeks flush. “I just needed some fresh air.”

He nodded, and I could tell that he truly understood what I meant. He looked up at me, curious. “That song, is it yours?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s just something I heard when I was young.”

He smiled. “It’s beautiful.”

The song? It couldn’t possibly be the singing.

“It seemed fitting for the everything that is happening.” I said, feeling strangely uncomfortable.

“It is.” He agreed.

At least you both have one thing in common. Small talk is not your strong suit.

We stood there for a few moments in silence. The more time passed, the more uncomfortable I felt.

Maybe you should say something to him.

“I’m tired. I’m going to head back and get some sleep.” I said, yawning.

Oh, good. What better words could there possibly be to describe your affections than, ‘I’m tired.’

Cassian remained silent for a moment, then chuckled. “Good night, Captain Y/L/N.”

“Good night, Captain Andor.” I said, walking away.

You’re hopeless.

I made it back to my room and entered the bathroom. Gripping the sink hard, I glared at myself in the mirror.

He wanted to talk to you.

“Even if that’s true, which it probably isn’t, now is not the time.”

Because there are hundreds of opportunities in a rebellion.

“Shut up brain, I’ll talk to him. Just not now.”

He heard you sing.

“Poor guy.”

He’ll be on a mission before you wake up again, what if he doesn’t come back?

I flinched at the thought. “There’s no guarantee that any of us will ever come back.”

Then you’ll just let him go without ever saying anything.

“Stop, it’s just not the right time.”

Then when is the right time?

“I’m not even sure if he feels that way about me.”

You’re obviously not paying attention. Fine then, don’t complain to me if you never get another chance.

“Go to bed brain.”

Fine

“Fine.”

I left the bathroom and laid down in my bed sighing heavily. As much as a tried not to, I thought about Cassian. In reality, we have only even been around each other a handful of times. However, every time we have met at any point, my life has been changed dramatically. It makes sense, in a way, for me to have feelings for him. He, on the other hand, would not be so affected by my presence. His life wouldn’t have changed by my showing up.

Are you so sure about that?

“All of this is really just a Tuesday for him.” I said, allowing myself a sad smile.

Think about what Boe Boe said.

“He was just making fun of me. He knows that I like Cassian.”

Think about the way he acts around you. Every move he makes when you’re around.

I thought about all that has happened between us in the few times we’ve spent together. The more I focused on the details, the more it dawned on me. Every move he makes around me, in its own way, has been protective.

Except for when he pointed a blaster at you.

“That’s true, but then he lead me to his ship. He brought me here when he had no reason to.”

Then he imprisoned you.

I covered my face with my pillow, frustrated.

“Who’s side are you on exactly?”

Just admit it to yourself at least. You’ll feel better.

“I love him.” I said, without hesitation.

Wow.

“Wow.” It was then, after saying it out loud, that everything clicked into place. The feeling of home, the reason for joining the rebellion in the first place. It was Cassian. It was always Cassian.

Told you, now go talk to him like a grown up.

I rolled back out of bed, wondering how I would even start the conversation.

How about, ‘Oh, by the way. I love you.’

“Maybe something a little less terrifying.” I mumbled. I opened the door and nearly jumped out of my skin as I came face-to-face with K-2SO. “K-2, don’t do that!” I said, breathless.

“I am merely standing here. It was you that came running out of the door without thinking to check if someone was on the other side.” He said.

I glared at him. “Why are you here?”

“I am here to help you in any way I can.”

Didn’t see that coming.

I smiled at the droid, “Thank you, K.”

“Cassian told me to.”

Ah.

“Oh.” I said, then remembered my reason for leaving the room in the first place. “Where is Captain Andor now?”

“He departed five minutes ago.”

“Oh.” I felt my stomach drop as the disappointment flooded through me. “Did he say when he would return?”

K-2 cocked his head to the side. “He did not say. Just that I need to help you while he is away.”

I nodded at this, trying to hide my sadness. “I’m on light-duty for a while, meet me in the hangar tomorrow morning.” I said, dismissing the droid.

“Very well, Captain.” He said, and walked away toward the hangar.

I slid back into my room and, once again, slumped down onto the bed. The disappointment was overwhelming, and it made me feel nauseous.

“I’ll tell him when he gets back.” I said, praying that I would get the chance.

You better.

“I will.”

Happy Saturday Deplorables!This is u/IvaginaryFriend here and I'm back to delver all things spicy and dank from the past week! Before we get started if you happened to miss any past recaps you can check those out here!Now onto the recap!Sunday, December 23rd:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:The only way to stop drugs, gangs, human trafficking, criminal elements and much else from coming into our Country is with a Wall or Barrier. Drones and all of the rest are wonderful and lots of fun, but it is only a good old fashioned Wall that works!I am pleased to announce that our very talented Deputy Secretary of Defense, Patrick Shanahan, will assume the title of Acting Secretary of Defense starting January 1, 2019. Patrick has a long list of accomplishments while serving as Deputy, & previously Boeing. He will be great!I just had a long and productive call with President @RT_Erdogan of Turkey. We discussed ISIS, our mutual involvement in Syria, & the slow & highly coordinated pullout of U.S. troops from the area. After many years they are coming home. We also discussed heavily expanded Trade.Unthinkable devastation from the tsunami disaster in Indonesia. More than two hundred dead and nearly a thousand injured or unaccounted for. We are praying for recovery and healing. America is with you!We signed two pieces of major legislation this week, Criminal Justice Reform and the Farm Bill. These are two Big Deals, but all the Fake News Media wants to talk about is “the mistake” of bringing our young people back home from the Never Ending Wars. It all began 19 years ago!Senator Bob Corker just stated that, “I’m so priveledged to serve in the Senate for twelve years, and that’s what I told the people of our state that’s what I’d do, serve for two terms.” But that is Not True - wanted to run but poll numbers TANKED when I wouldn’t endorse him..... ... .....Bob Corker was responsible for giving us the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal, which I ended, yet he badmouths me for wanting to bring our young people safely back home. Bob wanted to run and asked for my endorsement. I said NO and the game was over. #MAGA I LOVE TENNESSEE!Thanks @RandPaul “I am very proud of the President. This is exactly what he promised, and I think the people agree with him. We’ve been at war too long and in too many places...spent several trillion dollars on these wars everywhere. He’s different...that’s why he got elected.”“It should not be the job of America to replace regimes around the world. This is what President Trump recognized in Iraq, that it was the biggest foreign policy disaster of the last several decades, and he’s right...The generals still don’t get the mistake.” @RandPaulMitch McConnell just told a group of people, and me, that he has been in the U.S. Senate for 32 years and the last two have been by far the best & most productive of his career. Tax & Regulation Cuts, VA Choice, Farm Bill, Criminal Justice Reform, Judgeships & much more. Great!The most important way to stop gangs, drugs, human trafficking and massive crime is at our Southern Border. We need Border Security, and as EVERYONE knows, you can’t have Border Security without a Wall. The Drones & Technology are just bells and whistles. Safety for America!“The President has been remarkable. I do not doubt that he will thrive in this new environment, and he will be a constant reminder of what populism is.” Thank you to Tammy Bruce and Steve Hilton. Presidential Harassment has been with me from the beginning!President @RT_Erdogan of Turkey has very strongly informed me that he will eradicate whatever is left of ISIS in Syria....and he is a man who can do it plus, Turkey is right “next door.” Our troops are coming home!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Rand Paul is a national treasure!YouTube is hiding the dislikes in this Bernie Sanders videoHow did California turn blue? Reagan offered amnesty in return for border security in 1986. Amnesty happened, and border security did not. Never forget: You CANNOT trust the left to play fairly on these issues!David Hogg Announces His Acceptance at Harvard -- After 12 Colleges Reject Him for His Less than Stellar School RecordSenator Rand Paul's 2018 Festivus Tweetstorm🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Hey ‘Pedes! Celebrated my anniversary!!How LeBron James sees the world...Encouragement from San Diego!Monday, December 24th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Virtually every Democrat we are dealing with today strongly supported a Border Wall or Fence. It was only when I made it an important part of my campaign, because people and drugs were pouring into our Country unchecked, that they turned against it. Desperately needed!To those few Senators who think I don’t like or appreciate being allied with other countries, they are wrong, I DO. What I don’t like, however, is when many of these same countries take advantage of their friendship with the United States, both in Military Protection and Trade... ... ....We are substantially subsidizing the Militaries of many VERY rich countries all over the world, while at the same time these countries take total advantage of the U.S., and our TAXPAYERS, on Trade. General Mattis did not see this as a problem. I DO, and it is being fixed!For all of the sympathizers out there of Brett McGurk remember, he was the Obama appointee who was responsible for loading up airplanes with 1.8 Billion Dollars in CASH & sending it to Iran as part of the horrific Iran Nuclear Deal (now terminated) approved by Little Bob Corker.AMERICA IS RESPECTED AGAIN!The only problem our economy has is the Fed. They don’t have a feel for the Market, they don’t understand necessary Trade Wars or Strong Dollars or even Democrat Shutdowns over Borders. The Fed is like a powerful golfer who can’t score because he has no touch - he can’t putt!I never “lashed out” at the Acting Attorney General of the U.S., a man for whom I have great respect. This is a made up story, one of many, by the Fake News Media!The Wall is different than the 25 Billion Dollars in Border Security. The complete Wall will be built with the Shutdown money plus funds already in hand. The reporting has been inaccurate on the point. The problem is, without the Wall, much of the rest of Dollars are wasted!Saudi Arabia has now agreed to spend the necessary money needed to help rebuild Syria, instead of the United States. See? Isn’t it nice when immensely wealthy countries help rebuild their neighbors rather than a Great Country, the U.S., that is 5000 miles away. Thanks to Saudi A!I am all alone (poor me) in the White House waiting for the Democrats to come back and make a deal on desperately needed Border Security. At some point the Democrats not wanting to make a deal will cost our Country more money than the Border Wall we are all talking about. Crazy!Christmas Eve briefing with my team working on North Korea – Progress being made. Looking forward to my next summit with Chairman Kim!I am in the Oval Office & just gave out a 115 mile long contract for another large section of the Wall in Texas. We are already building and renovating many miles of Wall, some complete. Democrats must end Shutdown and finish funding. Billions of Dollars, & lives, will be saved!(Retweeting FLOTUS) Helping children across the country track #Santa is becoming one of my favorite traditions! @Potus and I enjoyed working with @NORADSanta - #ChristmasEveSIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:President Trump and Melania talking to children who called @NoradSantaWorld's Youngest Leader Closes Mosques, Deports Imams From AustriaWe hate quantum computing now: Trump signs legislation to back quantum computing with $1.2 billion🚨REDACTED BULLSHIT ALERT🚨 - EVERYTHING President Trump has done has only INCREASED my support of him. In fact, I want more tweets, more everything (especially winning)❗️ AND I’M CORE AF‼️ 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 I don’t think Redacted knows what core even means...SADNEW JERSEY: FUCK YOU – 1 Million Gun Owners to Become Felons Overnight – Residents of New Jersey were given a deadline to turn in their gun magazines or become felons overnight, and so far, no one is complying.🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Leftists nowadaysNever forget when Trump helped Kevin find the lobby. Merry Christmas!Santa voted Trump!Hmmmm 🤔My wife whipped up a batch of racist, white supremacist alt-right cookies for Christmas day. DELICIOUSTuesday, December 25th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Participates in a Christmas Day Video Teleconference with Members of the Military🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Merry Christmas!I hope everyone, even the Fake News Media, is having a great Christmas! Our Country is doing very well. We are securing our Borders, making great new Trade Deals, and bringing our Troops Back Home. We are finally putting America First. MERRY CHRISTMAS! #MAGASIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:President Trump in the Oval Office on Christmas Day, speaking with military service members stationed at remote sites worldwide to thank them for their service to our nationMerry Christmas from the border road. We’re still here, and we still want our Wall!TV Guide Calls Actor Chris Pratt 'Problematic' for Hunting and Raising Lambs on His Farm==I have no clue who he is (other than what the article gave) but if he's a hunter and raises lambs to eat from his own farm that gets him bonus points from me.FITTON: Merry Christmas from Judicial Watch--Thanks for your strong support this year!🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:An oldie but a goodie!yes, I'm that oldGive a man a jingle, he will jingle for a day. - Teach a man to jingle, he will jingle all the way.Thanks to this woman for these unique times we all live. Merry Christmas Mary TrumpIt's been a great Christmas thanks to all of youWednesday, December 26th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Delivers Remarks To Troops🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:.@FLOTUS Melania and I were honored to visit our incredible troops at Al Asad Air Base in Iraq. GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Troops chant "USA! USA! USA!" as President Trump takes the stageDonald and Melania Trump make surprise visit to US troops in IraqPOTUS and FLOTUS in GermanyPresident Trump doubles down on shutdown saying government won't reopen without wall fundingDow Soars 1,000 Points, Biggest Point Gain EverPresident Trump's Full Speech to US Troops in Iraq 1080p🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Seth Rogen BTFO by Stefan MolyneuxTime Traveling Trump..... Brit Hume ... Master Of The ShitPost...Press Secretary Sarah Sanders: Powerful moment - Member of United States Army told the President he came back into the military because of him. And President Trump responded, “And I am here because of you.” I met him after and he gave me the patch from his arm. Incredible.http://bit.ly/2VekQh7 Hill Celebrates Trump's most memorable insults and nicknames of 2018Thursday, December 27th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Appoint Individual to Key Administration Post🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Just returned from visiting our troops in Iraq and Germany. One thing is certain, we have incredible people representing our Country - people that know how to win!Have the Democrats finally realized that we desperately need Border Security and a Wall on the Southern Border. Need to stop Drugs, Human Trafficking,Gang Members & Criminals from coming into our Country. Do the Dems realize that most of the people not getting paid are Democrats?The Democrats OBSTRUCTION of the desperately needed Wall, where they almost all recently agreed it should be built, is exceeded only by their OBSTRUCTION of 350 great people wanting & expecting to come into Government after being delayed for more than two years, a U.S. record!The reason the DACA for Wall deal didn’t get done was that a ridiculous court decision from the 9th Circuit allowed DACA to remain, thereby setting up a Supreme Court case. After ruling, Dems dropped deal - and that’s where we are today, Democrat obstruction of the needed Wall.“Border Patrol Agents want the Wall.” Democrat’s say they don’t want the Wall (even though they know it is really needed), and they don’t want ICE. They don’t have much to campaign on, do they? An Open Southern Border and the large scale crime that comes with such stupidity!There is right now a full scale manhunt going on in California for an illegal immigrant accused of shooting and killing a police officer during a traffic stop. Time to get tough on Border Security. Build the Wall!I totally agree!Brad Blakeman: “The American people understand that we have been played by foreign actors who would rather have us fight their battles for them. The President says look, this is your neighborhood, you’ve got to stand up to protect yourselves. Don’t always look to America.”This isn’t about the Wall, everybody knows that a Wall will work perfectly (In Israel the Wall works 99.9%). This is only about the Dems not letting Donald Trump & the Republicans have a win. They may have the 10 Senate votes, but we have the issue, Border Security. 2020!CNN & others within the Fake News Universe were going wild about my signing MAGA hats for our military in Iraq and Germany. If these brave young people ask me to sign their hat, I will sign. Can you imagine my saying NO? We brought or gave NO hats as the Fake News first reported!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Tens of thousands of /r/politics NPCs are rooting for the American economy to collapse.I believe that Melania is first FLOTUS to visit a combat zone since 1969. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.UPDATE: DOJ Colluding with Clinton Email Scandal Witnesses!President Trump, first lady back in Washington after surprise visit to US troops in IraqNot the Onion. This is actually on CNN right now. WTF?!CNN slammed for trashing Trump’s visit to troops, criticizing soldiers for bringing MAGA hats🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Obama NEVER Missed Seeing The Troops On Christmas Day!RIP to Richard Overton, America’s Oldest Veteran and most badass citizen 🇺🇸Obama NEVER Missed Seeing The Troops On Christmas Day!This is AmericaLiberal news says soldiers were "forced" to be polite for Trump's visit. Were they "forced" to get selfies, too?Friday, December 28th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:We will be forced to close the Southern Border entirely if the Obstructionist Democrats do not give us the money to finish the Wall & also change the ridiculous immigration laws that our Country is saddled with. Hard to believe there was a Congress & President who would approve! ... ....The United States looses soooo much money on Trade with Mexico under NAFTA, over 75 Billion Dollars a year (not including Drug Money which would be many times that amount), that I would consider closing the Southern Border a “profit making operation.” We build a Wall or..... ... .....close the Southern Border. Bring our car industry back into the United States where it belongs. Go back to pre-NAFTA, before so many of our companies and jobs were so foolishly sent to Mexico. Either we build (finish) the Wall or we close the Border...... ... .....Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador are doing nothing for the United States but taking our money. Word is that a new Caravan is forming in Honduras and they are doing nothing about it. We will be cutting off all aid to these 3 countries - taking advantage of U.S. for years!Thank you to Sean Parnell for the nice comments on @foxandfriends about the troops wonderful reaction to Melania and I in Iraq and Germany. Great things are happening!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Army pilot: Media sank to a ‘new low’ by trashing Trump’s visit to US troops in war-zone IraqNPC has a meltdown in a vape shop. THIS is how you handle radical leftists.Trump was RIGHT AGAIN! Bombshell! WaPo's Khashoggi Was a Propagandist for Terror-Tied Nation Trying to Change US Policy, Major Scandal for WaPoRolling Stone article about Snoop Dogg and his posse violently gang raping Jimmy Kimmel's makeup artist backstage. Snoop and his good friend Jimmy both paid her to keep it quiet. Libs don't care. #BelieveWomen #MeToo2018 YEAR END WRAP UP FOR FAKE HATE CRIMES, HATE HOAXES AND FAKE RAPES!🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:He knows who's on his team/new is being brigaded hard. Do your part.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!Hey shills, CNN doxxed multiple people for sharing this harmlesss gif on social media. That's who's side you are on and history will remember you for it!As the Book of Kek commands us, "When thou dost see a gray arrow, thou shalt make it orange. For this, I shall chuck blessings upon thee like a side of beef."Saturday, December 29th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:The Mueller Angry Democrats recently deleted approximately 19,000 Text messages between FBI Agent Lisa Page and her lover, Agent Peter S. These Texts were asked for and INVALUABLE to the truth of the Witch Hunt Hoax. This is a total Obstruction of Justice. All Texts Demanded!I am in the White House waiting for the Democrats to come on over and make a deal on Border Security. From what I hear, they are spending so much time on Presidential Harassment that they have little time left for things like stopping crime and our military!Just had a long and very good call with President Xi of China. Deal is moving along very well. If made, it will be very comprehensive, covering all subjects, areas and points of dispute. Big progress being made!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:This is Reggie, Officer Singh’s brother. Lurking shills, before downvoting him, take a good hard look at him. If Ronil’s killer were deported on his prior DUI arrests, he would be here today. Stay strong, Reggie. We are with you and every Angel Family who has suffered due to this border madness.CNN spent the entire year supporting, defending & promoting illegal immigrants. Okay. CNN ended the year by attacking United States military personnel in Iraq. Okay. The truth is clear. CNN is a pro-war, anti-America news network.Swedish state broadcaster SVT ran an article claiming that the gruesome ISIS-inspired murder of two Scandinavian girls in Morocco "had nothing to do with Islam," before warning Swedes that sharing a graphic beheading video of the incident could result in up to four years of imprisonment.BREAKING!!! Angela Merkel: Nation States Must "Give Up Sovereignty" To New World Order!!!The anti trump vape employee has been fired. Go easy on the negative reviews now, this was one idiots actions not the store owners🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:The Reeeeee Heard 'Round The World....You’re welcome.MAGA!Safe to say Melania is the most beautiful FIRST LADY!WEEEW LAD!!Of course, no recap is complete without some tunes to get you jamming on this beautiful Saturday:Why iii love the moonReconcileLowlifeFadedPussy MineOrange ShirtMAGA ON PATRIOTS! #robgray

Jest A Minute (25/1/2017) from Subroto Mukherjee

Trump's Oaths-------------------------- Don Trump took oath as the new global Mafia don -- sorry -- as the new US President (a kind of president to which there's no precedent!) You know, taking an oath is a pleasant change for the Don. Normally he does not take an oath. Instead, he prefers to hurl a stream oaths at his critics. *** I am happy. Oh, not for the Don's oath-taking ceremony but for the millions of protesters around the world who came out in streams to utter streams of anti-Trump 'oaths'. *** Chilling--------------- His inaugural speech could be summed up in just 3 words : America, America, America! All American jobs to be reserved for Americans only. In other words, cutting off  all outsourcing. In other words, nightmares for our business and industry, especially our IT industry! *** Blood, Sweat And Tears----------------------------------------- The Don is amazing. But only in one sense. He is an astonishing study in self-contradictions. He built his imposing Trump towers on the blood, sweat, tears and cheap labor of illegal Mexican workers.     Now he is out to build a wall to keep out the Mexicans. Really? So who -- pray -- will labor on less than minimum wages to build his new towers? *** Don's Religion-------------------------- Earlier the Don had declared he would be India's best friend in the While House. He claimed he loved Hindus and the Hindu religion. Ooh, we are tickled -- we are flattered -- we melt at such pats on the back.But never mind his flattery. He may love India and us Indians and he may love our religion but what bothers me is his own religion. I'd never trust his religion -- because he has only one religion and that religion is MONEY! The prophet he swears by is no prophet at all but PROFIT! *** Have I seen xXx Return Of Xander Cage? No. I am waiting for Xander to return to his cage. Then I will go see him at the zoo. *** Ever wondered why Vin Diesel named his movie series The Fast and The Furious?   One look at his bald head and you know why. Hey, if your hair fell out that FAST, you'd be equally FURIOUS. *** Ever wondered why Vin Diesel calls himself 'Vin'? Simple. He loves vehicles. And 'Vin' stands for Vehicle Identification Number. *** Vin Diesel, He Of The Fast and The Furious Fame----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Vin Diesel pick this name 'Vin Diesel' for himself?  It was inspired by an incident in his childhood. Once when he was a boy, by error he consumed diesel and started running FAST and FURIOUS around the house. Naturally, crazed with concern, his parents called up the doctor. The doc reassured them : "Vin is running after taking diesel? Don't worry. He will stop running when he runs out of diesel." *** Boeing Boeing Bong!--------------------------------- SpiceJet has placed an order with the US Boeing company for (hold you breath!) 205 aircraft for 22 billion! Ooh! Our SpiceJet has thrown so much business to Boeing, I bet those guys out there are celebrating -- boeing boeing bouncing with joy over this jumbo order! *** Chill it, Chinks!----------------------------- India will supply its advanced Brahmo missiles to Vietnam. And, as expected, the Chinese dragon has got its tail in a twist over this! In a show of great annoyance, the Chinese dragon is stamping and stomping its feet, growling and snarling, fuming and SMOKING from its nostrils. Here's offering a piece of my mind to the Chinese dragon : Chill it, you Chinks!  Smoking is bad for your own health! *** RIP, the 'Exorcist'--------------------------------- William Peter Blatty, who wrote and directed that goosebumps movie, that horror classic The Exorcist, is no more. And I am afraid his demise can only be one thing -- the work of the damn Devil! *** PEElease, Spare Us The Filth!----------------------------------------------- Trump paid hookers to pee on Obama's hotel bed in Moscow! Yeah, that was yesterday's front page news! We sometimes wrap garbage in old newspaper pages to dispose the filth.Now that has been reversed. In the morning, such filth is being delivered to us in the newspaper!   What next? Anyway, who cares for humbugs like Trump or Obama? I felt sorry for the bedbugs in that bed that got peed on! Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Terminator. So what is Mr Trump trying to prove? That he is the unstoppable 'Urinator'? *** No Good Days -- Or Good Food!----------------------------------------------------- On the Net, a BSF soldier just did a video expose on the 'rotten' food served to our stoic soldiers at the border! If this fails to shame our military top brass or our so-called 'patriotic' leadership -- nothing will shame them! What happened to the promised good days? Not happening. No good days for us -- or good food for those who deserve it the most -- our hardy, brave soldiers securing our borders! *** Bollywood's Pathetic Herd Mentality------------------------------------------------------ Dangal is a big hit. As they say, nothing succeeds like success. In other words, the herd mentality rules Bollywood. So now every other film maker here is toying with the idea of making a wrestling film. And every other leading man is hoping he will star in it, hoping he will be paired with Sunny Leone and hoping he will get to 'wrestle' with Sunny in the bedroom! ***   India Lends A Helping Hand-------------------------------------------- Eman Ahmed of Cairo, Egypt. She is the heaviest woman on earth today. She weighs a staggering 500 kilograms. Forget staggering, she is so overweight, she simply cannot move! Poor lady! But, to our pride, our country has risen to reach out a helping hand to her.India is living up to its tradition of compassion and hospitality. India has offered to air-lift her to Mumbai for a fat-removal surgery to save her life. An entire jumbo jet is being re-designed and re-fitted to accommodate her mammoth bulk. And a whole new facility is coming up at a hospital in Mumbai to make room for her stay and operation here. Wishing her the best. (And I am tempted to add this. She might be the fattest person in the world but I bet even she has less fat than some of the fat-heads running this nation right now!) *** Pension Tension----------------------------- Heard this? Lalu-ji is eligible for it and he will get pension. Phew, isn't that a relief for us? I am so happy. Now I can sleep peacefully at night! I was so worried that a multi-millionaire VIP like him might have to suffer tension for not getting any old-age pension! *** Mumbaikars who took part in the Mumbai Marathon did well. And why not? They run daily all year around to train for this race. As I do, you should see them running at the Dadar station every morning to catch their train to work. Impressive stamina and speed! *** Serves You Right, Jerks!------------------------------------------ Today's front page headline : 1 trampled and 2 gored to death during jallikattu! So sad, so tragic! Here are my 3 words of sympathy for the 3 : SERVES YOU RIGHT! All those who trouble, harass, torment and torture poor, simple, innocent animals in the name of sport, culture and tradition are the worst kind of JERKS on earth! ***   The Magnificent Cow----------------------------------- I have always looked upon the cow as a miracle of Nature!  After all, it performs miracles everyday! It might chew on dry, unappetizing grass, it might forage in the street garbage to satisfy its hunger but -- wonder of wonders -- it can turn all that into rich, bubbly, creamy, nutritious milk for us! Milk that we savor in its myriad by-products ranging from paneer to cheese and dahi to lassi! As if that was not enough, a minister enlightened us recently by attributing more miracles to the incredible cow. Miracle 1(according to this minister) : cows inhale carbon-dioxide but exhale oxygen for our benefit. Really? Is a cow a tree? Because that's what trees do. Forget producing oxygen, in fact, cows fart -- sorry -- pass the methane gas (as all cattle do) which is a major contributor to the hot-house effect we are all suffering and which is killing our planet! Miracle 2 (according to our minister) : cow dung has properties to block radiation. Wow! This is news to me and must be news to our scientific community as well. So let me pose a hypothetical question to our cow-expert minister : God forbid but, in the event of a nuke strike on us, how will this honorable minister save himself from the deadly nuclear fallout -- radiation? Will he jump into a tank of cow dung to keep the radiation from touching him? Anyway, moving on to Miracle 3 (as per our scholarly minister) : the cow emanates an antiseptic, antibiotic aura! Yeah, believe it or not! And merely standing next to a cow can cure your cough and cold! Great. Since right now I sneezed and I suspect a cold is coming on, let me go see a cow -- and not my doctor. By the way, I also suspect that our erudite minister (who is obviously a global authority on cows) went abroad for higher studies -- distinguished himself as a student at the OX-ford University -- and returned after acquiring the brains of an OX! ***  

About My Crown

Welcome to Straighten My Crown, my name is Alice Brown.  I started this blog as a project for seminary, although it has turned into something more for me.  My hopes are to inspire, challenge and encourage you to pursue God and bask in the fullness He has for you, no matter what the season.  This is something I don’t claim to be perfect at doing but it’s something that I can say is the desire of my heart, for not only myself but for others too.  My heart is for you to see yourself the way He sees you.  “You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.” ~Isaiah 62:3.

          “What worked in the wilderness, won’t work in the promise land.”

It is time to claim victory over thing(s) in your life you have been struggling with the most.  Turn them into the thing(s) you used to struggle with.  God wants us to have a story of victory.  He wants us to continually approach the throne in confidence (as He says in Hebrews 14:6), in every situation.  If we focus on the victories, even the little ones that God has given us, confidence begins to come more and more naturally.  How quickly we grasp this is up to us.  God can do 4 years of work in 4 months, 4 weeks or even 4 days.  How willing are we to allow Him to do that work?

As the second to youngest of five girls, I was pretty goofy, very creative and quite adventurous.  I spent most my time pretending, dreaming, running around the house singing at the top of my lungs, climbing trees to escape and think through life’s mysteries, imagining with my little sister or finding way to pester all my sisters, at least until they would yell for mom or dad.  Things have changed a bit but not too much.  I don’t climb trees to escape anymore…these days, being that I have three children, a husband and two Great Danes that follow me throughout the house, going to the grocery store is the best escape I seem to muster up.

  My parents were determined to give us a biblical foundation whether we were part of a church or not.  At the time, I would not have admitted it but I am so very thankful for that.  My parents were married for 47 years before my dad died.  Dad worked for the Boeing for 43 years, retiring at the age of 65.  I would say my parents truly represented commitment for me.  They taught me that when I committed to something, to give it my all and my best.  They also taught me, things may not work out as I had planned.  Mom and Dad persevered through some really good times and some very bad times.  The thing I appreciated the most, is that it really wasn’t hidden from us.  I am aware there are things we just did not know, but most of everything was a family affair.  I learned a great deal that way; one thing in particular, that human beings are not perfect and do not always have the answer.

I was introduced to Jesus at a very young age.  I fully understood the commitment I was making to him at 8 years old.  I knew I was His forever.  Even though I did not know what being significant and belonging to Him looked like…I did know there in lies the journey.

My journey of acceptance started taking off in my teenage years in the Baptist church.  Then things got rocky when I got pregnant (out of wedlock) at the age of 20, then into an abusive marriage to someone with serious substance abuse issues, to divorce, to single mom life for many years; my life has consisted of ups and downs.   The one true and consistent thing…was Him.  He stayed with me through every single step.  I am thankful for the life I have lived and I do not have one regret.  Each chapter of my life, has molded and shaped me into the woman I am now.   You are only reading a few details of a few chapters…if you keep reading, the story only gets better.  The Author is absolutely amazing!

God took the time to redeem every moment, to clean up my mess and straighten my crown.  I met an incredible man who has only encouraged me to grow and heal.  When I had my second child, I started longing to be part of a church family again.  Over time we started going to The Rock and were never the same.   I met Holy Spirit on my knees one evening and have never looked back.  Being from a Baptist background, I had never experience God on that level.  In a very short time, it was all true, there was no doubt.  The Word was true, He was undeniably real and my life was forever changed.

By the time I had my third child, it had really sunk in that it was an absolute necessity for me to find time for just God and I.  The past two years has been that journey.  It was not until recently that I came to the conclusion and complete understanding that my time with the Father may not look like what I thought.  It may not be sitting in my house of silence, with a nice cup of coffee, my journal, my Bible and a nice long hour to soak in Him as much as I want.  It is just not that season.  Right now it is a season of littles running through my living room, jumping from couch to chair to rug, dodging the hot lava or tea parties in the living room with lifeless stuffed animals, or fighting for my children to maintain self control long enough to get through a couple of hours of homeschool.  All the while trying to maintain my sanity and finish seminary, let alone some quiet time to meditate on Him and pray.

ABSOLUTE JOY!

Now that I am 40 years old and have only just in the past few years, found where my needs are truly met.   The only place I can be fulfilled, is in His presence.   There are many tables (that may temporarily fill my needs) that I am invited to sit at but He has prepared a table before me, with a smorgasbord of the things in life I need to not just survive, but live.  To live out the calling He has for me.  To live my life completely and utterly for Him.  I may be amongst my enemies but I will plant my heels where they are, take a seat and trust my most gracious Host to provide me with all that I need to feel completely satisfied…to feel significant and like I belong.

I am His daughter…the daughter of the One True King.  I am royalty and I DO wear a crown.  My crown might be crooked on days, but there is rest for me, in knowing I am His.  I find my peace and joy in that alone.  He never asked us to clean up or straighten our crown when we dine with Him.  He will handle the clean up and He will straighten my crown.

  About My Crown was originally published on

For HE shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

Check out this post on Nextdoor: https://nextdoor.com/p/D3fGkSSNxJ2Q?utm_source=share&extras=NjQ0NzkxODQ%3D For HE shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

https://kjbo.org/Psalms-91-11/

K2.0 UNEXPECTEDLY raised ⬆️ cover and iPhoned a photo or video

While i’m having a bad day, bad week, bad year, bad life.

“She’s not here”

‘HI GUYS, i feel exposed, i haven’t slept since 5 or 6:21'

💔my sister ASNATH colson DEMOSTHENES just gave me #MICHAELJACKSON  OFF THE WALL🏆🤩😘🥰😍😻😎album coming from MOM’s ICU 🏥last night PLEASE PRAY FOR US

  THANK YOU GEORGIANA WILSON REALTOR for being my 🛟 🆘 emergency contact‼️

@followers

@highlight

Marie Elia Demosthenes Rintuss

Marie Elia Demosthenes

Marie K. Demosthenes

Marie K. Demosthenes

Howikilledmyphone.com

My 🍱 🥘 🍲 is exposed, my 💦 💧 🚿 is exposed and my person is exposed and i can’t fix that yet‼️

https://www.facebook.com/share/5Y16g8TK5sqc4oBf/?mibextid=WC7FNe

i finally opened KJBO.ORG (which i had planned to do first thing every morning🙄)

IT’S BEAUTIFUL 🤩 😍 😻 🥰😘HOW GOD TAKES CARE OF US anyway WHEN WE NEED HIM THE MOST

so i started☺️ 🙂 😊 🎶 🎤 🎵 painful, you are painful….

then 🎵🎤🎶hummed in earnest FamilyRadio.org

version HOLY YOU ARE HOLY, HOLY IS THE LORD‼️

O MY GOD YOU ARE SO HOLY ‼️HOLY IS THE LORD‼️

LORD, YOU ARE HOLY

LORD, YOU ARE HOLY {[i don’t know the rest]}

WORTHY YOU ARE WORTHY ‼️

WORTHY IS THE LORD‼️

O MY GOD YOU ARE SO WORTHY,

WORTHY IS THE LORD‼️

LORD, YOU ARE WORTHY‼️

LORD, YOU ARE WORTHY ….

😂💝🤸‍♂️🤸‍♀️🤸🏿💃🕺αγαπημενος του θεου 💘

#✝️💚u

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#✝️💜u

http://fellowshiptractleague.org/

http://mariekersaint.blogspot.com/2022/08/depressed-confusedu.html

#http://fellowshiptractleague.org/

http://mariekersaint.blogspot.com/2022/08/blessed-be-thou-o-lord.html

http://mariekersaint.blogspot.com/2022/08/strength4today.html

https://gab.com/Demosthenes100964outlookcom/posts/111641741922626049

Sent from my #iPhone 📲

Far From Home, Part Seven: Holy...

Series Summary: Reader is torn from her reality and dumped into the middle of a war. Will she make it home? Or will she find where she belongs? A Rogue One Reader Insert Fanfiction. Gifs and recognizable characters are not mine, but the story and all of the mistakes are!

Far From Home - Masterlist

Chapter Notes: Ahh, I’m so excited for this chapter to be up. Y’all finally get to meet two of my favorite people in the story!

Warnings for this chapter: language

I sat in the room with the circular table being interrogated by General Draven again. Mon Mothma was there as well, and another man who introduced himself as Bail Organa. Captain Andor was no-where in sight.

Don’t worry, if you join you’ll have plenty of opportunities to see him.

“So, you want to join the rebellion?” General Draven was saying with an air of suspicion. “Mon Mothma seems to think that you are trustworthy, but soldiers won’t be trained unless I approve it.” He sat in the chair opposite of me and leaned forward. “Convince me.”

Okay, maybe I hadn’t completely thought it through before volunteering.

Shocker.

I crossed my arms, thankful that I was not restrained to the chair this time and asked, “How shall I do that?”

“What’s your name?” He asked as if were an obvious place to start.

I looked at Mon Mothma and she gave me a small smile and winked at me.

She didn’t tell them.

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N.” I said, looking back at the General.

If the fact that I answered shocked him, he didn’t show it. “Where are you from?”

“Earth.” I said, feeling defiance creep back into me.

Do you want to help them or not?

“I’m not familiar with a system called Earth.” He looked to the others for confirmation, and they both shook their heads.

I sighed, resolving myself and started with “You’re probably going to think I am insane after this but…” And I told them, everything. Well, maybe I left out the part that being close to Captain Andor made my heart jump into my throat. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would, and they listened without interrupting which I appreciated. At the end of my story Mon Mothma had a look of pity, Bail looked curious but deep in thought and General Draven looked… grouchy.

Does that man have any other expressions?

I took a deep breath and focused on a spot on the floor. I wasn’t sure what to say at this point, so I waited, begging from someone to break the silence.

It was Mon Mothma who spoke first. “Thank you, Y/N. While your story is incredible, I believe you are telling the truth to the best of your knowledge.” The others nodded in agreement, which shocked me.

Bail spoke next in a commanding, yet kind voice. “Why would you choose to fight then, if you have no ties to this war or anyone in it?

Why indeed?

The answer came strangely easily to me, “It’s the right thing to do. People are meant to be free. They shouldn’t have to fear for their lives or the lives of their families if they tie their shoes in the wrong spot. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I understand now that if I wouldn’t have run into Captain Andor and followed him when I did, those storm troopers would have imprisoned me. Or worse, they would have killed me.”

Did you already forget these people imprisoned you too?

I shook off the thought and looked at the ground again, waiting for the next question.

I tensed when General Draven started to speak. “That’s either very brave of you, or very foolish.”

I agree, I tell her she’s an idiot all the time!

He considered me for a moment before his face showed that he had come to a decision. “I will allow you to train with the next group of recruits.” My head shot up to look at General Draven. “You will begin in four days. I suggest you prepare yourself, the training will push your limits mentally and physically.” He typed something on a small monitor as he continued talking. “You will be moved to the wing set aside for trainees and will be put on probation.” I couldn’t stop my disappointment from showing when he smirked.

Oh my God, even his smile looks angry.

“All of the trainees start off in a probationary period. You will be free to move around the communal areas on base.” He said.

Sweet, blessed, near freedom!

“You will need to take remedial classes, however, to learn about our world.” I flinched at the word ‘remedial’. “After training every day, you will meet me here at twenty hundred hours and you will learn the basics.”

Good feelings gone.

“You are dismissed.” He said waving me off. I head to the door feeling a mixture of excitement and terror, when I hear the Generals voice call out, “Oh and Y/N. I recommend keeping your story to yourself. If anyone asks, just tell them you were born on Tattooine.”

“Yes, Sir.” I said nodding, then exited the room and met my guard in the hallway who would escort me to my prisoner’s room for the last time.

A year after that conversation with the General, I stand outside the door of the command room with a group of new rebel soldiers that have just completed the basic training, waiting for our ranks to be assigned.

The physical training had been murder at first. Every day, all I wanted to do was head straight to my room, shower and go to bed like the rest of the recruits. Instead, after my shower, I would meet with General Draven, and on a few lucky occasions with Mon Mothma or Bail Organa and learn about the world I now live in. Turns out those robots wandering around the base are called droids, go figure.

No wonder people kept laughing at you.

It got easier as time passed. My muscles grew stronger, and by sheer will, my endurance improved. I excelled in the majority of the classes. The instructors were delighted to find that I was already an excellent marksman, and had experience in mechanics. As the training progressed, I made a few mental notes to thank my friends for all they had taught me if I ever make it back home. One brave instructor even began to teach me how to fly a few of the ships. My first time at the controls was absolutely terrifying. The instructor assured me that I did fine for my first time though.

After he finished throwing up.

When we received the results of the final testing, which was also awful, I was delighted to find that I had top marks in all the classes apart from one. I came in second for hand-to-hand combat.

Damn it.

Boe Boe, a Gran recruit, leaned over to me and whispered, “Look at your score in espionage. I don’t think even Cassian scored that high.”

I looked again and couldn’t help the warmth that flowed through me at the mention of Captain Andor’s name. A smile tugged at my lips at the thought that I may have done better than him. 

Competitive, much?

I haven’t spoke with Captain Andor since I had thanked him for the blanket. Mostly I would just see him in the corridors as I would run with my fellow trainees to our next class. The most communication we would have would be a nod of acknowledgement before returning to our individual activities. This was apparently a big deal though, as the other two female recruits had informed me giggling. He was viewed as somewhat of a legend among the group and they spent their time trying to find out what they could about him, as well as some of the other officers. They didn’t shut up for a week when they found out that he had been the one who picked me up and I had refused to tell him anything about myself.

Stop daydreaming, the General is coming.

We stood at attention as he approached us, with Mon Mothma at his side, and he scowled at us.

Oh, you big huggable bear.

I have spent way too much time with this man this year. 

“Congratulations, you have passed basic training.” He said. “Once we assign your ranks you will be dismissed and the real work begins.” You could feel the collective groan building as he smiled his angry smile. We all managed to remain silent as the General continued. “Gather your belongings out of the training wing and move them to your new quarters. There will be a data pad waiting in each of your rooms with your first assignments. Good luck.” He moved down the line and began issuing the rank badges. Only three out of the twenty of us had received an officer rank. Boe Boe and Rhayna, the silver skinned twi’lek who had beat me in the hand to hand combat score, both received lieutenant. And myself, who was awarded…

“Congratulations Captain.” General Draven said shaking my hand.

Holy shit.

He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Holy shit.

“Thank you, Sir. I won’t disappoint you.” I said, barely able to keep the excitement out of my voice.

Holy shit.

Mon Mothma walked up to me smiling an embraced me. “I’m so proud of you, I had a feeling you would do well.”

“Thank you so much!” I said, still trying to contain my emotion.

We were dismissed and managed to make it back to the training wing before I was tackled by Boe Boe and Rhayna. “You got Captain!” They both yelled at the same time.

I began to giggle. I hugged them both, while fighting tears, and said, “Congratulations Lieutenants!”

After a few moments of this, and having to endure mock salutes from all the new soldiers. We packed our things and headed our separate ways. As I split off from the group and headed toward my new room I heard Rhayna call out. “Hey Captain! If you’re not too good to be seen with us lowly Lieutenants then meet us at the cafeteria at eighteen hundred to celebrate!”

“I’ll pray about it!” I called back smiling. She pushed out her bottom lip in a fake pout and turned to find her own room.

I stood outside the door to my room, suddenly nervous about my first assignment. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and dropped my bag on the floor heading straight to the data pad.

I read it at least ten times before setting it down and sighing heavily. My mission summary was a total of one sentence. ‘Report to Cpt. Andor tomorrow at 0500 in the hangar.’

Are you kidding me? Out of the gate!?

“Holy shit.”