#BUT because the condescension isn’t reinforced at all beyond that one line | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fellhellion · 8 months

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“Miguel cheats on Xina and is so callous in his explanation of said act because it comes from a place of self sabotage” is one of those readings where I really like it’s implications and agree it’s plausible for Miguel to do that, but also think it’s harder to textually support.

The difference in Miguel’s reaction between Xina vs how he handles Gabriel is. Incredibly stark.

I think reading self sabotage here with Xina only really works with the cruelty of mocking Xina as she leaves or making a face at her that doesn’t seem to hint at remorse if you read that self sabotage as being either unconscious, or a deeply suppressed. Which are plausible for the character as I’ve said; but I’d argue aren’t supported within the textual presentation we are offered here into Miguel’s supposed emotional state.

Compare and contrast to the confrontation with Gabriel. Miguel is still being a dick, but it’s not the active aggravation like towards Xina, more a sense of condescending pity.

Most critically, you have the time to taken to offer small insight into Miguel feeling guilt at Gabriel trying to forgive him and retreating from that. It’s a reaction no one other than Miguel is privy to and hints at that feeling being aggravated and then suppressed. Most notably, it’s just. Not something we see replicated in his interaction with Xina.

I don’t think any of this particular reading I’m offering here negates the obvious regrets Miguel holds regarding Xina into the future of 2099 though.

Like regardless of whether you choose to read it as active disregard or an unconscious self sabotage (or both), it’s very obvious Miguel holds a lot of regret regarding tarnishing that friendship (and the unspoken love that was present there) and this manifests in one of the most notable ways through the ambiguity to his reaction to Lyla’s confession.

Like. You can essentially read quite a plurality into Miguel’s deflection/bemusement here. From his deeply complicated relationship to love and self hatred, to the fact that Xina becomes retroactively intrinsic to Lyla and that aspect offering the scene a completely new dimension, tinged with palpable regret.

I think it’s entirely plausible, given the ambiguity where Miguel’s reaction comes from to argue for that being present within this scene given not only its presentation, but that guilt over Xina is something we see present in Miguel.

#I don’t know if this is anything I’ve just been mulling over it #tldr I like the self sabotage reading and think it’s in character but I have my doubts about it being something you can substantially #evidence in the text #it’s weird because like. I think PAD’s authorial intent of Miguel just being a misogynist here actually makes the most sense w the #way the scene is presented. but because PAD is so allergic to having people criticise Dana the SINGULAR time Miguel verbally condescends #abt Dana is trying to bait Xina’s pride where he essentially implies she’s always been leagues smarter than Dana #which like. okay. but why wouldn’t that pattern of behaviour and thinking manifest literally anywhere else in that relationship #if you’re intending me to read this as a critical aspect to why Miguel is involved w Dana in the first place #(real reason seems to be just. this bizarre aversion 2099 has with actually having the cast react to Dana’s actions as more than #those of a hapless ingenue #) I’d like to be yknow. shown it more????#so you’re just sitting there going why tf was Miguel so needlessly cruel to Xina because you just don’t. imo. get that much of a tangible #establishment of condescension being a cornerstone to Miguel/Dana’s relationship #so ur just like well that was needlessly cruel. and bizarrely so given how palpable Miguel’s regrets are now #so ur just left there w a scene that is structured in such a way as to characterise Miguel as supposedly #being genuinely callous to his ex lover and best friend #BUT because the condescension isn’t reinforced at all beyond that one line #appears like a bizarre one off that hints at deeper if unacknowledged feeling in Miguel #and it’s THAT tension imo between the authorial intent and it not being that well executed that actually provides the most fertile soil #as it were. for the reading that it’s a self sabotage #which again let me be clear I do enjoy and think is plausible #I just think PAD fell ass backwards into creating the circumstances that imply it sbxhxjcjc #tunes talks 2099 #long post

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theliterateape · 6 years

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Why I Will Only Post Positive Things On Facebook Ever Again

By Peter Kremidas

I. Bipedal Nomads Who Can Send Thoughts Worldwide At The Speed of Light

Historically speaking, we have only just started playing around with the internet in general and social media in particular. I think we’ve done, or at least I have done this, without much thought as to how powerful these tools truly are or how to use them responsibly.

I think we have a responsibility to really think about, to have an honest conversation about, how we use it. And then think we need to hold ourselves accountable to whatever conclusion we reach. Because this is potentially a very dangerous tool we have here. People get hurt on social media all the time. I know people who are changed, and not in a good way, for the way they were treated online. People can get broken by this stuff. It’s happened to me. I’ve done it to others. And it’s horrible. Kids are killing themselves over this stuff. And that’s just the stuff we are now reckoning with. We have no idea what it’s doing to our brains.

However on the other side of that, 2017 and 2018 and beyond are the dawning of a new and normalized increase in freedom for women. And it’s because of the internet. People could immediately share their stories to hundreds of their friends, see that they are not alone, and pull the lid off something that has been happening for centuries. The internet did that.

Because the power of the internet, just one of them, is that you can create such a fuss that traditional news media is forced to look. They don’t want to look. But they know if they don’t look they’ll look stupid. Because so many people already know about it without their influence, and they are supposed to be the greatest influencers of all. There’s a lot of power to protect there, and now we have some of that. And that is incredibly cool. So obviously there’s a lot of power for good here.

And I’ve been thinking about this for while, but instead of preaching to people I have no control over about what they should or shouldn’t do I started looking at myself. In 2018, I guess my new year’s resolution was to be more honest in my writing, and with myself. And that means calling myself out on my own bullshit, even when it hurts. It's been several bitter pills to swallow.

A few months ago, I was in some stupid facebook debate I don’t even remember what. But it was the billionth time I was impatiently just impolitely and obnoxiously being contrarian on social media. Nothing to gain from it. It was probably me quibbling as usual over some useless irrelevant minutiae that alienated me from someone I actually agreed with. I think it’s called ‘I almost see your point but you’re kinda being a dick so I don’t care.’ Or, more accurately, ‘Just being a dick.’

Someone commented, I don’t remember her name, and told me that there was another time on social media when I did this and it really hurt her. She asked me to stop. She said ‘please’. I reacted predictably, with more condescension and ‘fuck you’ subtext. She told me that was mean, and again could I please stop. Of course, I’d already thought of what to say next and was about to throw it.

But instead I just felt bad. And I knew she was right. And I hated that.

I stopped. I said that’s fair. I apologized. I haven’t been engaging in any debate or anything other than jokes and positive things since then.

Because when when I actually listened. Not just words, but what must this person feel like that makes them want to say that to me. It hit me. I hated that it did. I denied it and was angry for awhile. But it stuck. And at some point it got real quiet. Quiet enough to hear myself say, “Shit…”

“...I have an issue.”

She was right. And that’s why she was being polite, because she didn’t want to incite me more. That’s how smart she is. While I shoot my mouth off and make an ass of myself, she’s the adult in the room. It’s fuckin’ embarassing being such a broken guy sometimes.

II. The Medium

Ever since the election I’ve been reading about human psychology and neurology, because I had to understand how the fuck. And one of the things I’ve found is that humans, we aren’t all that smart. A full 98 percent of our thinking is unconscious. We get caught into different long term habits just by doing them a lot, because they’re rewarded somehow. It’s why if you see a video of someone at 7 years old you can see exactly where their personality traits have come from. They worked somehow and they just kept doing them. It’s why there is addiction. It’s why you have to spend 10,000 hours doing something before you’re a master at it. It’s why when you’ve had a belief for so long it’s hard to change it. Most of our behavior is pretty much automatic, based on some reward system we’ve set up for ourselves or to prevent us from feeling something bad.

The human brain is full of little cognitive weaknesses that would make you a very disappointing robot. If a self driving car slowed down and created unnecessary traffic every time there was a car accident to look at, that would be an annoying feature. But you aren’t a robot, you’re a human. Flaws are a feature, not a bug. They’re actually beautiful, the imperfections. Because they show that survival and progress requires all of us, because one person alone is too flawed to take on that weight. But together, we can take on any challenge because we compensate for each other’s weaknesses with our own strengths. Flaws humble us and remind us how we are weak, and in so being how we are the same.

But some of those flaws also make us easy to manipulate.

The social media business model, the literal one they drew up upon its creation, is that someone giving you a ‘like’ will addict you to the platform. This draws attention to the platform, and therefore advertisers with money along with demographic data to sell. And studies show that ‘likes’ are very much are addictive. You can’t eat them or even exchange them for a coupon. Regardless they cause a little rush of endorphins when you get them, and anything that does that is addictive. This is fact.

In this environment very few will express unpopular opinions. And I actually think that most of the time, that’s a good thing. There are a lot of people need to shut up and listen. Yes, including myself. People often forget that conformity can also be a good thing. But sometimes, not most of the time but every once in awhile, an unpopular opinion needs to be heard. A lot of important truths have started as controversial opinions. And I think that incentivizing human interaction with ‘likes’ can encourage the bad kind of conformity too.

It’s the reason why we’re all fake on Facebook. All of us. Admit it. As long as there is a way that you wish to be perceived, you’re faking it at least a little. And you do. We all do. None of us are above caring what other people think.

Because we all want to be cool. We all want to be accepted and loved. Our desire to be accepted in the tribe is one of the most deeply human qualities honed by billions of years of evolution. So naturally we all put ourselves out there in a way where we will be most accepted, with varying degrees of concern for authenticity.

So it becomes our own personal PR campaign. We choose how we are perceived. We have time to hone every phrase and pose. It grants us time to think about our responses based on how we want to be seen that we don’t have in the moment. We can tell people what we want them to know about us and what not. It’s a self reinforcing game of ego strokes as we are told how great we are, when it isn’t even our authentic selves being validated most of the time.

And the rush we’re subconsciously chasing is those delicious little likes and pieces of attention that shoot endorphins into our lizard brains. We really can’t help it, we’re human. And while it may not always be the case, over the course of time across all the billions of people using it, most actions within the social media landscape will be primarily incentivized by that endorphin rush because that’s the primary reward baked into the system.

If you think it doesn’t apply to you, I promise you that as long as you have a human brain, it does apply to you. And by the way studies actually show that the less you think you are able to be manipulated, the more you actually are because your guard is down. Also consider the truth that, in capitalism, if the product is free then you are the product. It’s no exaggeration to call it both Orwellian and Huxleian. And I think social media’s ubiquity is a testament to some very serious human brain design flaws.

III. The Exploit

And here is where I almost just quit the whole system altogether. And I did disengage almost completely for a time. Almost right away I could feel my lizard brain sinking into loneliness in the absence of my usual stream of digital affirmations. Like, in fact exactly like, an addict in withdrawal. I wondered if there was a way to make feed the addiction without all the harmful side effects. Because remember, it can also be a powerful tool for the positive. And unlike every advertisement, TV channel, magazine, movie, radio station, website, and so on fighting for my attention 24 hours a day every day, this is also the one medium wherein I have a some degree of control over the content.

What I’ve landed upon, at least for now, is just allowing addiction to be fed but with just a little more mindfulness. I have a line drawn now, I cannot allow the addiction to chase the endorphin rush with complaints, anger, to feed my ego, or so on. If my lizard brain is mostly in control of me, and it is, then I will only allow it to be incentivized by good.

Sure, in person I’ll be happy to debate politics and what not, but I think there’s something about arguing online that can never work. And I think it has something to do with how only 7 percent of human communication is conveyed by just the words alone. 38 percent is vocal elements, and 55 through facial expressions and body language. There’s some fundamental disconnect involved in debate on the internet that, when combined with what social media incentivizes, usually only serves to enrage and hurt people.

I'm done making complaint statuses. If I have complaints I will take them to someone who will hear them in person, someone I can vent to at least. If someone wants to have a disagreement, we can do it i person too. I will stop pretending to be someone I’m not. Because while a lot of that behavior is natural and fine, I just don’t want to be rewarded for it. I don't want my brain trained to do it. I will only allow the endorphin feedback to hit me for saying true and good things. And it has to be both. No bullshit.

Things like this:

If lizard brain wants to get that sweet hit, it better make someone else feel good first. I will be a better person, even if that means I have to manipulate myself into being it. I’m not particularly smart or wise, so maybe I just need this.

#social media #behaviorism #psychology

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