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#BUT AMAZING WORK SO FAR IM LOVING IT!!
clemkesh · 2 months
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aaaaaaaaah
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moeblob · 1 year
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Man. May I just say. I love how in this game it’s like “you have four suitors and three of them are the most repulsive men on the planet then you have this really energetic guy who wants you to step on him if he does anything bad BUT he’s trying his best”.
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oatbugs · 1 year
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i feel conflicted abt my relationship...need advice etc . in tags . pls i need input sm
#i love my gf a lot and i think our relationship is doing rly good rn . i miss her a lot bc im in a diff country to her but ill see her#in a few weeks etc. anyway things are good....HOWERVER. i am worried abt . our future#like u are supposed to live in the moment and have fun and be young etc etc but this is like..the fact that its going well#is making me consider how our life paths would go tgth and if it would be fair to stay in a relationship u know wont work forever. like#this was one of the reasons why i felt hesitant at first etc. basically i swore to myself i would only date an academic or at least someone#who like. has. A Thing. that they are working towards that they are rly rly passionate abt. bc i thought it just wouldnt work out otherwise#and it seemed after a while of talking that she IS like that...shes applying for a graphic design degree and she seems to genuinely#love art etc so much and also she is amazing at it. HOWRVER...she hasnt drawn in a while#and is working a min wage job despite meaning to quit for ages...and as far as im aware#she still hasnt made a portfolio...etc etc. but im so confused bc like...shes great and ik she can do it i just dont#understand why she wont. she could also get an internship etc in the relevant field but i still dont get it...and its not my place to be#pushy abt it. like i already suggested these things and asked abt them but i dont want to ask any more bc like. its her choice#what she does w her life etc. but anyway its like...am i being pessimistic/impatient and everything is gonna#go well for her or do i hold genuine concerns. and if the latter/both potentially...is it unfair to be like#hey babe ik things are amazing rn but we have to reevaluate bc idk if in 10 yrs i would be happy w where we are#my friend was like. Break Up W Her from the beginning bc he thinks u shouldn't get into a relationship w smn whom you think will not also#elevate u in some way..and ur life paths dont align etc...but he is genuinely married to his academics like hes sworn off#love so i didnt rly listen bc hes rly extreme w his. love gets in the way of academics. etc#but also his point was valid i think? that you want the person u spend ur life w to elevate you. u want them to challenge you and make you#want to work harder and be better and achieve more and more...and i do want that and i have been trying to be that for them#but A) i can only be that to a reasonable extent for them before it starts being like nagging/being pushy and#B) i feel like if they end up going the way they are rn they can never be that for me. is that bad#like am i a horrible person for thinking this way. obviously i am not casting a moral judgement on her or anyone#for whatever path in life they choose to go down but also is it like...Silly to give up on a perfectly good#relationship bc ur like. as it stands i do not see you walking alongside me in 10 yrs etc#like im lich rally 20 . but what if it DOES end up going rly well and it DOES end up being thr case that we end up staying together#and then im like. feeling discouraged bc my partner in life is just not the kind of person i imagined being w when i was 19 or 20...#like in terms of careers etc. more importantly is this a discussion i should have w her . bc i literally do not know how to raise this#without sounding like a dick but is that bc i...am being a dick? is this a bad thing ?? is this thought not that of a good person ?#it sounds so WEIRD to be like hey babe either u have to start being more ambitious and insane abt ur art or i might break up w you. like :/
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scootarooni · 6 months
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at the beginning of ep 5 of scott pilgrim i swear i can hear miku singing black sheep with the crowd 😭
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#oof. it as been a very very long day. so much talking. all day talking and interviews#and so far my feelings are mixed. bc it is a smaller university and its underfunded and cost of living is kinda high#and the town is small and isolated. HOWEVER#the faculty feels like a strong community and theyre all amazing scientists who choose to b there bc the quality of life is so high#they seem extremely supportive and the fact its small means that i could probably get around better given my intense anxiety around driving#and i could literally just walk to hiking paths rather than having to drive way out. and its fucking so beautiful. the clouds r gorgeous#bc theyre all conpressed by the mountains around this lil valley. also the potential advisor seems amazing. the grad students have good#things to say and hes excited that im interested in the things im interested in. and i talked to an astrobiology guy and he was like u#should apply for X grant and i would b happy to help u and the advisor is a former nasa post doc so he has nasa astrobiology connections.#so those r some pretty great things. i mean. of the schools im looking at this one would prob be the best for my brain tbh#i mean the uk one is too rigid in structure and i cant fuck around so much as at a us school. and the east coast on is hard to say no to bc#its a good school with lots of funding and opportunities to b creative but i would have to hard core get my shit together and hes quite#hands off. and id b living in the city which sucks. so like. i mean this school is kinda looking like the best choice for me. definitely#the healthiest. i mean assuming i dont fuck it up and get the offer after this weekend. but yeah. i mean im not fully in love i think#and the idea of commiting to 5years here is terrifying but id get a lot of support that i dont think ive really ever had. not that my#current boss isnt great but our lab is kinda disconnected. and i really fit in perspective wise in my interests. and id get to work at#[redacted] national park. which is so cool that i might have to unredact it if i end up here bc its so fucking next level#not that the national park i have access to now isnt awesome but. like its next level awesome and i could maybe wiggle may way into maybe#some arctic systems and i bet i could get my current boss to send me desert samples. so yeah i could def see a life here#but fuck i dont want roomates with all my heart. y does it have to b so expensive for a trash apartment? bleh#god. im so tried. so much talking. but a good day. and im going skiing tomorrow bc like thats a thing here lol#unrelated
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carryonmylovelies · 2 years
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omg hey hotties 😭😭 im back !
#sooooooooooooo anyways not me dropping off the face of the earth for like the entire summer vwkqmqjdhsowjwjwjenkwhwk#just had to die for a little bit u know....disappear into the abyss and all that#pls look away from all the shit im abt to throw into these tags 😁 unless u want 2 read my cringe oversharing essay for the day 👍#my summer was so silly 😍 ummmmm lets see i lost my fulltime job at the daycare bc the owner very rightfully decided to retire and close#so i was unemployed for the whole summer except for my occasional side jobs and also had to move bc of family shit#so im living w my grandma for the time being and its utterly amazing tbh my grandma and i have a really strong bond and relationship#and i really love getting to come home and see her every day. i decorated her house for halloween a week ago 🎃🎃🎃#and she couldnt stop talking abt how nice everything looked and how glad she was to have me there and i just abt broke down 😭😭😭#i did a complete fucking 180 jobwise im actually training to be a certified fire alarm inspector now LMFAO#i really really like it so far and have like a million stories already abt all the shit ive done/seen so far#im the only girl looking son of a bitch thats working and training in the field out of my entire region of the company so 🤪#literally shoved my dykey nb ass in there and now im fucking it up with the boys heyoooooo#ummm me and one of my best friends started dating bc of a miscommunication (BC OFC WE DID I KNOW I KNOW ITS SO MF GAY)#and our 4 mo anniversary will be on halloween which i think is the swaggiest fag shit in the whole WORLLLDDDDDDDD 😫🎃🖤🧡#my very beloved pet rabbit of over 8 years died quite unexpectedly in august and i was. doing pretty bad for awhile which sucked so so hard#he had multiple health issues and was over 10 yrs old so its hard to say what exactly happened. my gf and gma both pulled me thru that shit#and my besties gave me so much support and love idek what i would have done w/o them. i miss my baby so bad.#ive also had some health issues which sucks absolute BALLS#and recently figured out that the migraine/anti depressant meds ive been on for the last THREE MF YEARS have been fucking up my body lmao#but on the flipside going back 2 the positives i got to have some really incredible experiences/interactions in the past few months#and those were really huge in helping me get my shit together again#i got to take my girlboygirlfriend on little daytrips throughout the summer. i got a second tat🕷🕸❣️ (which my gf designed 😫)#i met girl queen pussy slay miss felicia day AND met the sexiest creature alive harvey guillen and he told me he liked my hair#which im still super duper normal over i can assure u 😁👍 definitely didnt alter my brain chemistry or anything#i saw gods greatest and most valuable gift to this planet on monday (mcr concert)#and had my entire mind body heart and soul so thouroughly fucked up that im still peeing my goddamn pants over it#and of course now its october :) my rotting flesh and sickened brain knows peace once more#bouta go eat up some drawtober posts right the fuck now so prepare yourselves 👁👁 also gonna be making a post on the coc blog soon as well#its already that time of year again mwhahahahahahahahahaha#so yeah 😋 my summer was goofy and silly as hell. i hope u all have been doing okay and im so happy 2 be back pls hmu if u wanna chat !!!
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izzy-b-hands · 11 months
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this latest research app has me at almost twelve dollars earned in the few hours I've been using it last night into today like. what
but also. thank fuck. pls send all the surveys and studies my way, make it rain in small increments all over me lmaoooo
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campirebites · 2 years
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u know what actually appreciation post for my joints because yes I’m in pain every day but I haven’t felt like I’ve needed my cane in a couple of weeks so thank u body ur doing a good job
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yoo how do i tell my father who is very much as stubborn as one can get that i dont in fact like google and dont want to use anything from it specially google drive because i think its pretty fucking disgusting to have to give this much information about myself solely so then i can store files to a place which ill forget about in less than an hour that will most likely be monitored by google too 💖
#literally love how he just casually says 'oh i added drive to your bookmarks btw' on my fucking laptop wihout any permissions#sure they bought it therefore they can totally use it if they want#but as far as my own privacy goes i cant help but feel disgusted at how ignorant he is to my boundaries#i said i hate windows. i hate google. i hate crypto#and yet he throws it all down my throat like its normal to just ignore a persons opinion if its something you disagree on apparently#and i know it may sound petty but i just try so much to stay out of his way#not talk negatively about the things hes interested in even if its fucking crypto or whatever#but dude it makes my blood absolutely boil to see how he just doesnt give a fuck about my own personal space and belongings#its a fucking browser for fucks sake ! why should he be so annoyed at how *I* use my own things#why should he feel the need to scramble around places where hes not even supposed to be on#im a kid in their eyes but fuck it hurts to see how incompetent he thinks i am#and if he really doesnt then hes doing a pretty fucking shitty job at showing that he trusts me#as far as privacy and comfort goes im willing to listen and genuinely interested in knowing of what he knows#but as soon as he casually starts to disregard the boundaries ive tried so clearly to set then im turning a plain blind eye#we both love computers. we both are amazed by how such systems work and its connections like the internet#but its impossible to have a conversation when he wont even try to understand Why i dont like certain things and why i do things My way#i dont go around messing on his things and yet he feels so entitled to do so in mine that i just feel sick sometimes#i hate to vent here but sometimes there really is no other place where people will actually think im a fucking human being#anyway i just#idk
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neo-nomatrix · 5 months
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Sunshine and Midnight Rain
Luke Castellan x Apollo kid!Reader
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word count: 851
summary: Luke castellan and the daughter of apollos love story
a/n: “remember who the enemy is” IM TRYING
Luke Castellan held your heart since the day you met, and you held his.
You arrived at camp a few months after Luke. You were one of the lucky ones, claimed within an hour of being there. Your godly father is Apollo, god of poetry, the sun, music, narcissism, idiocy, stupidity, all that. You had assumed the gods would act superior to all, no matter if they were or weren’t. But Apollo was on a completely different level. You didn’t know why he had taken such a liking to you.
“You remind him of himself,” Your half sister, Kayla, had told you, “an archer who never misses, healer who fixes every wound, gifted singer, and somehow picked up the lyre in a day. And yet, you still ask why Apollo loves you the most?”
“I wish he wouldn’t,” you twirl the golden arrow he gifted you.
“y’know, that hermes boy has been staring since the moment you stepped foot here,” she smiles, nodding to the tan boy sitting on a picnic table.
“Great, more attention,” you keep your sights on the boy, lucas? Luca, maybe?
“His name’s luke castellan,” kayla says, ah luke, that’s it.
“He’s handsome,” you say matter of factly.
“Don’t trust those Hermes boys, all they do is lie,” Kayla leans back and rolls her eyes.
“It’s a good thing I play the lyre.”
——————
“You’ve got a great shot,” a deep voice says from behind you.
You’ve been at the range for around an hour, it’s 4:30, you always practice when no one else is around.
“The whole reason why I come out here this early is so i can be alone,” sure, it sounds mean but you swear you’re not trying to be.
“Sorry, once I see you it’s hard to look away,” you’re not looking at him but you can tell me has the biggest smirk on his face.
“Funny,” you tell him bluntly.
You set down your bow, keeping the arrow in your hand, and sit on the nearby grass. He lays down beside you, you follow his lead and put your hands behind your head.
“That arrow, it’s like it’s made of the sun,” He says amazed.
“A gift from dear old dad. No matter how far I shoot it’ll always come back. Supposed to be a sign of his love or something. But I think he just constantly wants me to be annoyed by him,” you inform him possibly too much.
“Most people would be grateful if their godly parent cares that much,” he says.
“It’s different with Apollo, there is no such thing as true altruism with him,” you bite your inner lip.
“I get that, I’m just tryna say- Hermes never showed up for me, and I'd kill to just have him tell me he cares,” His eyes furrow.
“Guess we both have different priorities,” you smile.
“Opposites work best don’t they?” He smiles back.
“Isn’t it opposites attract?” You wonder.
“Hey, your words, not mine,” he laughs.
“That one’s Orion,” You point up at the constellation.
“He was always my favorite,” he adds.
“Mine has always been Cassiopeia, but you can never see her over here,” You look back up at the sky.
“That one’s Taurus, and then Sirius below, and Gemini above,” you point each of them out.
Even though he hums in acknowledgment his eyes are locked on you.
“You’re staring, again” You mention.
“I told you I can’t help it, especially when you glow like that,” he reaches out and touches your face.
You reach out and grab his hand, running your fingers against his slender digits.
“I’d like to be a constellation when I die, maybe my father will fulfill that wish,” you say to him.
“That’ll be my last wish too, we can lay in the stars together.”
——————
It’s been a day since Percy Jackson came to Camp Half-blood. It just so happens to be your favorite day of the year, capture the flag. You have led the archers on the blue team for years, you’d say you’re doing well for what you’re given. Besides your siblings in Apollo the rest of the kids weren’t as gifted in archery.
As the first conch shell blew you were preparing for your mock-battle. Annabeth in charge of the plan and Percy, Luke with company, and you with the archers. You knew you could, no- would win. The archers took the trees, helping stray company from the skies.
“Today feels like a winning kind of day?” Annabeth asks luke.
“I’ll see you on the other side,” He smiles.
“Luke!” You pull him aside for a moment.
You cup his face the best you can through his armor. “You don’t get hurt okay? I don’t feel like healing anymore wounds from you. Understand?”
“Oh but I love to see you healing” he holds your hand and smirks
“Archers! Move out!” You call your team, eyes still locked with his, smiling.
“so… you and her?” Percy asks the taller boy.
“how could I not? She's perfect. I mean, I genuinely believe I could live without the sun if I just had her.”
And maybe, just maybe, he could.
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criminalamnesia · 16 days
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GOD I LOVE traitor and how strong you've made the reader. It's amazing! And I eagerly await any future parts, whether it's big proper story or drabbles. BUT, you come first and your life does so you do what you gotta and go be amazing! We can wait. Proud of you X
im so late to responding, but thank you! <3
here’s part six :) also not really proofread so I apologize for any errors! I’ll fix them later!
ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE
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you don’t know how long you’ve been sitting on the floor, cross-legged amongst broken glass, brittle flowers, and discarded clothes, when someone knocks on the door.
you don’t move, don’t say anything. the noise seems distant— too far off to be real.
besides, if someone is really knocking on your door, they know you’re in here.
and if they know you’re in here, it could be one of five people. your former squad mates, or the doctor.
the knock sounds again. it shakes you from your stupor, yet you still make no move to answer it. let them come in; let them see what they’ve made of you. of who you were. of who you could’ve been.
the person on the other side of the door is speaking now. you register the muffled baritone as it fights to be heard from the hall.
you clench your fists, then unclench them— stretching out your fingers as far as they go. clench them again. unclench. stretch. repeat.
it’s a tick— a calming habit. you don’t think it’s working at the present moment.
the doorknob turns. you still don’t move.
the door is being pushed in, light from the hallway aggressively slicing through the darkness you’d left yourself in. you fought the urge to curl in on yourself.
you’d been so consumed by your anger— are consumed by it— but coming into this room and seeing that damn note was earth-shaking. it was terrifying, and it was a tangible reminder of the team’s unapologetic tactics. simon’s unapologetic tactics.
the voice is speaking once more, clearer now that the door is out of the way— but you can’t make out the words over the ringing in your ears.
a hand gingerly lands on your shoulder, and that’s when you snap.
you whirl around, throwing yourself into the intruder like a cobra striking its prey. clearly caught off guard, the person lets loose a ‘oomph’ and falls backwards as you take out their legs.
everything is fuzzy. the ringing in your ears crescendos, and it brings pain with it. you’re striking your target with reckless abandon, still not registering who is flailing underneath you.
punches land and land and land. nails scrape and scratch and draw blood. all you see is red— all you hear is the sharpening of a knife or the whirring of a saw.
and then there are hands on you, yanking you away from your victim. the red slowly starts to recede, the ringing in your ears subsiding.
it’s only then do you release you’re screaming.
its only then do you see the swollen and bloodied face of your doctor, lying a foot away from you. she sputters a cough, blood leaving her lips and splattering onto the man leaning over her.
“you need to calm down,” a voice speaks into your ear.
“calm down, or they’ll sedate you,” it says, and you finally stop screaming. you take a breath.
clench your fists. unclench. stretch. repeat.
it takes you another minute to calm down enough to realize the person holding you is simon.
the doctor is being carried away now, and you notice it’s johnny and kyle carrying her. you notice john is standing to your left, eyes full of sympathy and guilt as he looks at you.
“get,” you huff, reaching down to slap at the arms circling your middle. “off me.”
simon releases you instantly. you don’t hesitate to put distance between the two of you. a few feet, at least. he just stands there, eyes watching with an expression you can’t place.
“what happened, love?” john’s voice is a soft rumble as he speaks. he moves a hand toward you, but decides against touching you— even if he only wanted to comfort you.
“I—” you start, glancing down at your hands. they’re bloody again.
“I thought it was—” you try again, but stop yourself.
you thought it was what? thought it was who?
you had heard man’s voice speaking to you. your mind had twisted things— had given you something you wanted to hear, deep down— because it gave you the chance to strike.
it gave you the opportunity to tear apart whichever man from the 141 had been there to check on you.
and you know you had wished it was simon.
john takes a cautious step forward at your silence. “let’s get you somewhere private, yeah? somewhere to cool down.”
the fire licking at your veins has subsided in favor of the chill of shame. of terror at what you’ve done— what you’ve done to the one person you had on your side. the person who was truly on your side.
you don’t fight this time. you give a nod, then solemnly follow him down the corridor. simon falls in behind you.
john takes you to his office, opening the door and ushering you inside. you move without protest, stepping into the dark room.
the two men enter behind you, john flicking on the light while simon pulls the door shut. you would’ve laughed at the scenario if you were in your right mind.
but you weren’t.
you weren’t okay. you knew that you weren’t, at least physically, but what you just did…
there was no way you were going to be transferred now. you doubted you would’ve even before you attacked the doctor.
you’re going to be discharged. you understand why.
but it hurts. this is your job, your life. years and years on the battlefield don’t prepare you for life off of it.
“love?”
john’s voice brings you back to the present. you realize you’ve been standing in the center of the room, unmoving and unblinking.
you feel simon’s hard gaze on your back. you want to cry.
how did things ever get this fucked up?
“im fine.” you say, not bothering to turn around. you didn’t trust yourself to keep it together if you faced them.
“you’re not,” john states, and you roll your eyes.
“im not talking about this with you,” you bite out, circling your arms around yourself. “either of you.”
“you should at least talk to someone, love— this isn’t healthy.”
“please, stop.” you tell him, but john was never good at taking orders. he gave them, not followed them.
“you hated the therapist, and you haven’t spoken to anyone else since… everything.” he continues.
“stop, john,” you try again.
“you need to let it out, love. we’re here—”
you spin around then, fists dropping to your sides. “for the love of god, john, shut the fuck up.”
that stuns him into silence, eyes slightly widened and mouth agape as he looks at you. simon doesn’t move from his position near the door.
“you are the last people i would ever fucking talk to! I don’t even want to be talking to you right now, but you won’t stop trying. trying to talk to me, trying to make it up, trying to wriggle your way back into my good graces.”
you pause, sucking in a breath. “johnny must’ve relayed the message, and that’s why you’ve back off a little— but one wrong fucking move and you’re swooping again! you aren’t my dad, you aren’t my lover, you aren’t my friend, and you’re sure as hell not my fucking captain anymore.”
“so please, john, leave me be. the four of you have done enough.”
the room is silent for a beat, then two. then three. and then simon takes a step forward, removes his balaclava, and looks you square in the face.
he doesn’t open his mouth to speak, so you take the chance to.
“don’t start with me, simon. just don’t.”
“the note,” he says. “you read it.”
you just look at him, a disbelieving scoff leaving your mouth as you give a nod. “yes, I read your fucking note. and I saw the stupid flowers, too, after seeing everything else you wrecked. tell me, how long did you wait after you tied me up to tear it all apart?”
he just watches you. you want to scream.
the note flashes back into your mind.
‘hope you can understand.’
“does it make you feel better, thinking what you did was right?” you ask him.
“I wouldn’t have done it differently.” simon tells you.
you clench your fists. unclench. stretch.
breathe in, breathe out.
“and if the roles were reversed,” you said, watching him. “if you were in my position, would you have expected me to do what you did?”
“yes.” he says, without hesitation.
“you’re unbelievable,” you huff. “is that how little I meant to you? all that time, wasted?”
“that’s not what I said.” he tells you, and you shake your head.
“no, but it’s what you meant.” anger is bubbling up again. you feel overwhelmed; shame and fury battling inside you. the ringing building up in your ears again, emerging from the background.
you can’t do this.
“what i meant is what i said.” he takes another step forward. “you’re just too damn stubborn to listen, always have been.”
“just go, simon.” you tell him. “both of you. go.”
“I wouldn’t change what I did,” he says again. “to protect my team, my family, I would do whatever it takes.”
you bite your tongue. you don’t want to keep arguing with him. he was an unmovable object— there was no way to reason with him.
“im not sorry it happened.” he speaks. “i did what i thought i had to do. what i had to do to make sure my team was safe.”
“and you should understand that, considering this team is all you have, too.”
you don’t respond— and even if you were going to, a knock on the door breaks the tense silence in the room.
johnny pops his head in, his eyes full of concern. “doc’s alrigh’.” he says, his gaze catching yours. “jus’ some bumps and bruises. she’ll be jus’ fine.”
“and she uh— said she’s not pressin’ charges or anythin’. says she still expects to see ya in a few days for your check-up.”
that’s what breaks you.
a tear slips from your eye, falling onto your cheek. another follows, then another, and you’re sobbing as you fall to the floor of price’s office.
the three men are staring, but no one makes any move to comfort you.
probably wise, considering what you did to the last person who tried.
you faintly register the click of the door as it shuts again. you don’t look up— your head in your hands as you cry.
cry about what you’ve done, what you’ve lost. mourn your career and your family and your love for the man who doesn’t regret what he did.
unbeknownst to you, simon is the only one still left in the room. his steps are silent as he approaches you— leaving only a foot of space between your bodies now.
he watches you as he sinks to the ground across from you, his long legs folded over each other, the fingers of his left hand twitching as he finds himself wanting to reach for you.
he still cares for you. his feelings for you were what made him do what he did in the first place.
the love he felt for you, twisting into betrayal and hurt and agony. fueling his actions, his desire to hear you admit your wrongdoings.
passion made people dangerous. passion in love, passion in rage. it was a fine line, and simon had crossed it.
he understood what this meant for you. recalls the conversation he had with price earlier— how laswell was planning for your discharge instead of your transfer.
this was the end of your time with them, and in the military. the hands of the 141, damaging one of their own beyond repair.
he finds himself mourning alongside you, then. mourning what was and what could’ve been.
what should have been.
“im sorry for what we did to you,” he says, but it comes out as a whisper that you don’t hear.
“im sorry.”
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thank you all again for your patience! I plan on tying this little series up soon :)
as a reminder, I no longer do taglists. if you want to be notified when I post, follow @troiastitans and turn on notifications. I only reblog my works there.
I hope you all enjoyed :)
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chisatowo · 1 year
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Ok finally got around to installing hollow knight on my laptop and getting some mods so get excited I might stream a randomiser tomorrow >:]
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amaranthineghost · 1 month
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NOW IM BACK IN OUR EMPTY APARTMENT, LOOKING AT THE PIECES I WISH WERE YOU ( max verstappen. )
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max verstappen x reader
an imperfect relationship between world champion max verstappen and a busy college student now filled with more tension as he fails to hold his tongue after a disappointing race.
authors note: love writing for max, i might have to do it more!!!
HE DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN. it snowballed into something he had imagined before but never would've expected it actually happening to him. he could normally control his temper, especially when it came to her. sure, there was a few moments that stood out in his career when he had gone over the limit on certain occasions, going as far as to push another driver, but he would always separate his home life and his career.
at least he would try to. the australian grand prix hadn't played out like he had wanted, or anyone for that matter, because no one wants their car to get fucked and have to retire. especially on the third lap, it was just embarrassing. he was struggling the entire weekend, though his spirits temporarily lifted when he had managed to get pole position. he knew he would, but after the struggles throughout the practice sessions, he hadn't been too sure.
he just wished she would've been there to see it, but she was stuck in their apartment with their cats, jimmy and sassy. she had to do her college work, that was due all too soon, before she could go running around to his races. despite being financially supported by her talented boyfriend, she wanted things to do when he wasn't around, and while school work wasn't exactly many people's cup of tea, it was hers.
she liked the possibilities that came with the experience and maybe one day, she could land a job that would put her in line with her beloved driver. sure, she loved visiting the paddock as a wag, but she would love it more from behind the scenes. of course dating a driver, she already gets to see more than the average person, but she wanted to do something worthwhile with her time in the paddock.
he understood, but he had the only condition of letting him pay for her schooling. debt wasn't fun, and he wouldn't let her fall into that burden. besides, max would love to be able to see his girl working hard in the paddock, but now he wasn‘t so sure if she was his anymore.
he was agitated, she was stressed, and they both knew they didn't mix. they should’ve just waited to see each other in person, but they were both missing each other at the time.
she watched the race on the tv in their bedroom with her laptop on her lap with her latest, big assignment due in the next few days. she was struggling, and she figured it was better to get as much time to work on it as possible so she opted out of flying to australia. still, she watched, hardly stressed, because she knew max was an amazing driver.
but come the race on sunday, his dnf shocked her. she was riddled with worry and part of her wished she had been there. maybe if she had been, this whole thing could’ve been avoided, but the stress she felt now would’ve only worsened had she been with him.
upon the smoke trailing out of his car, hearing the commentators say he had dropped positions, seeing the puff of smoke when his car rolled down the pit lane, the fire on his brake duct, she shut her laptop instantly. now she was sitting on the edge of the bed, eyeing the screen closely, phone on standby to call him after. she leaned her head on her hands while her elbows dug into her legs.
she watched his tense answers to the media, his uninterested attitude because she knew all he wanted to do was get to his driver's room for peace and sulking. she knew and yet she still made the mistake of calling him right after.
she hadn’t waited long for him to answer, but he didn’t answer right away. hearing no answer from his side of the phone, she spoke first.
“hey,” she spoke as gently and nicely as she could.
“hey.” his voice was short and straightforward, as if he didn’t care about anything she was going to say.
finding the right words to say was like walking on eggshells and there wasn't a lot of room to go. she just hoped she took a step in the right direction when she asked him, “how are you doing?”
“what do you think?” she sighed, biting at the inside of her cheek
“not great,” she muttered, he hummed back in response, which just made her even more unsure of her next words, “ ‘m sorry you has to retire from the race.”
“sorry doesn’t fix the car,” she heard him mumble under his breath, earning a scoff from her.
“excuse me?” her tone was like she had accused him of something, “i get you’re mad right now max, but that doesn’t mean you can be an asshole. i’m just trying to help.”
he scoffed back and she could feel the eye roll he would’ve given her, “yeah, well you're not.”
“what is wrong with you?” she stood up, anger coursing through her.
“i don’t know, maybe the fact that my race was fucked and now you’re bitching to me about my attitude.”
she hadn’t thought before speaking, in moments of high stress she just said whatever she felt, and so did he. what she felt right now was annoyance and anger, “fuck you max,” was all she could spit back, taking a deep breath being speaking again. “news flash, you’re not the only person in the world dealing with shit, it's one race that you got out on, grow up.”
with that she hung up, and he heard the dial tone from his phone, regret beginning to seep past his clothes and into his skin, his nerves, his brain. he just majorly fucked up the most important thing in his life because to him she was more important than his career points, the car, the championship, his entire career, and he just threw her aside in the height of his anger.
he tried calling back immediately after he realized what he had just done, but it had just gone straight to voicemail. when that all failed, he spammed texts, or paragraphs more like, about how sorry he was and how she didn’t deserve the attitude he gave her, but it did nothing.
she sat and watched as the texts and missed calls flooded in. while she understood he was angry, it didn’t give him the right to talk to her like that so she left her phone unanswered while she had gotten up to pack. in less than a few hours, she knew max would be back in this apartment, probably on his knees, begging for forgiveness from her. she knew she would forgive him the moment he did so she wanted to get away before he could.
it didn’t take long, she hadn’t packed her entire life away, but a single suitcase and carry-on bag was enough to last her until she decided to patch things over. taking one last look over her shoulder, one last pet of their cats before she had closed the door behind her. knocking on the apartment door of their neighbors to ask them to care for the felines like they did whenever he left for races and she went alongside him.
but in recent months, moreso in the 2023 season, she found herself attending fewer races than she used to because of the growing tension and stress between the pair. it didn't help that they didn't talk it through, they couldn't because they didn't have the time. she had college, he had formula one, and they both had no time to meet in the middle to amend whatever was broken before. whatever was broken remained as such and only cracked further as time went on and the pressure increased.
they knew they should've come together and met in the middle, but they were both petty and too stubborn. it was another reason they clashed, but they also just worked so well.
he was hoping this was going to be the one time they could've found that time to talk, to sit down and have a deep conversation that lasted hours, that they would've ended up getting side-tracked from and begun to talk about random topics, like they used to. laying on her back with her head in his lap and his fingers through her hair as they laughed at funny memories, or moments they had experienced together.
but when he came home to a quiet, empty apartment, he knew. he knew he shouldn't have hoped for something that was unlikely to happen. his cats rubbed against his legs as he walked about the apartment. dirty dishes that had yet to be washed sitting in the sink, blankets unfolded in the couch and doors left open. the air was stale without her presence and he was left to wallow in it. her absence was a sting against his skin as he kicked off his shoes, seeing a couple pairs less than what there usually was, hanging up his coat alone because hers were now gone.
everything was a reminder if how he had treated her, the words he spat like venom all because he had retired from a single race. he can't stop hearing her venomous last words to him, her tone was like he was the scum on the bottom of her shoe. he might’ve well have been because he sure felt like he was. a piece of trash for the way he spoke, granted he was angry, but he didn't have the right, he never would have the right to talk to her like that.
the floorboards creaked under him, cutting through the silence only interrupted by the sounds of his clothes brushing together as he walked. he peered into the various rooms of the house, seeing half the items she would normally have that had been left behind. pieces of her he was left to further sulk with.
it was cruel, but he understood cruel was what he deserved. he deserved seeing the messy, unmade bed that remained empty for hours after she left. covers pulled back like she had just gotten up to see him, except she hadn't.
she was gone, and he hadn't known where, or if she would even come back. he could only hope that she wished to mend their cracked and shattered relationship as much as he wanted now.
he could only hope.
taglist (found here): @slut4lrh @taylorslovesswifties13 @sbella13 @kaa212 @nhlfs @thearchieves
proofread by @foreveralbon <333
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diordeer · 3 months
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౨ৎ HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
“i want you for worse or for better, i would wait for ever and ever, broke your heart, i'll put it back together, i would wait for ever and ever” - taylor swift (smau)
contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, where they both star in taylor swift’s ‘how you get the girl’ music video (i accidentally made the bsf so bitchy so have fun with that)
description: we are doing our yearbook quotes… do u guys think “tell me your deepest fantasies: 8-12 hours of uninterrupted sleep” is okay?! or is it cringey bc this is STRESSING me out!!
requested by: anon 🫣
yn.ln just posted on their story
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Seen by taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell and others
Direct Messages:
taylorswift: 😘😘
↳ yn.ln: love uuu!
user1: UMMM WHAT IS THIS?!
↳ yn.ln: idk 🤷‍♀️
user2: U AND MISS TAYLOR? GIRL WHAT IS HAPPENING
user3: ugh ur jacket is gorg
iamcharliebushnell: i cant wait!!
↳ yn.ln: im actually like about to combust
bsf: i still think ur lying about this
↳ yn.ln: i cant believe u would think that of me 😢
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Liked by selena.gomez, ayoedebiri and others
taylorswift ‘how you get the girl’ (taylor’s version) music video out now!! with my lovely lovely cast yn ln and charlie bushnell 🩵🩵
tagged iamcharliebushnell, yn.ln
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yn.ln this was literally the funnest thing to film everrr!
↳ iamcharliebushnell i miss you!!
↳ yn.ln miss u too 😣😣
user1 GUYS WTH IM GOING CRAZY
selenagomez love u 😘😘 so proud!
user2 THE LONG AWAITED MV
user3 dare i say best music video so far
sabrinacarpenter another release another world record 😍
↳ yn.ln girls unreal
user4 I WANT U FOR WORSE OR FOR BETTER
↳ user2 I WOULD WAIT FOR EVER AND EVER!!
user5 CHARLIE AND YN AND TAYLOR?! I CANT.
↳ user6 my 3 fav people 🫣🫣
user7 im in love with director taylor era
gracieabrams aahhhhh!!!
user8 this music video gave my eyes ecstasy
user9 yn and charlie are so cute together 🥺
↳ user10 kinda ship them !!
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yn.ln i’ll open up the door and say are u insane?!?! (I love you so so much taylor thank you for letting me have anything to do with you, and being a part of this mv!!)
tagged taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell, selenagomez
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taylorswift i love our little gossip sessions
↳ yn.ln im always free for one 📞
↳ user2 what i would do for a gossip sesh with taylor
iamcharliebushnell its been a long six months 😢
↳ yn.ln it has and i must see u NOW
↳ user1 and u were too afraid to tell her what u want!!
user6 the editors having a field day with this one
bsf so u werent lying 🤨
↳ yn.ln i told u i wasnt 😣
↳ bsf ok well now u HAVE to let me meet taylor swift
↳ taylorswift 😉😉
user3 yn in the first pic!! 🩵
user4 and the hottest onscreen couple goes to 🏆
↳ user5 and offscreen!!
↳ user4 are they together?!?!
↳ user5 no… but did u see how they looked at eachover in the vid?? No acting can do that 🙏
user7 well now i need a romcom with these two ASAP
↳ yn.ln I WISH
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Liked by walker.scobell, yn.ln and others
iamcharliebushnell thank you so much taylor swift for letting me be apart of this project! and thank you yn for being such a great partner to work with😋
tagged yn.ln, taylorswift
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yn.ln ugh i know we are unstoppable
↳ iamcharliebushnell so unstoppable i might do a backflip on stage
↳ yn.ln I BEG
↳ taylor.lautner 🤸
↳ yn.ln i love you taylor
taylorswift you are so so amazing!
user1 anyone else notice how everyone has posted the usual pics for the instagram posts but charlie is only posting him and yn together (and ofc taylor)
↳ user2 their chemistry a bit too good 🧐
↳ user3 IF THEY GOT TOGETHER I WOULD GO FERAL
leahsavajeffries OMG!
user4 taylor told u how to get the girl… you acted out how you get the girl… now you have to go get the girl!!!!
walker.scobell man gets cast as the villain in MY show and now HE gets the music video with his celeb crush 🙄
[this comment has been deleted]
↳ iamcharliebushnell walker…
↳ yn.ln 👀
dior.n.goodjohn WALKER HAS NO FILTER LMFAOOO
taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @highfidelities
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internet-necrosis · 1 year
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Reading "Them- Adventures With Extremists" by Jon Ronson. Crazy shit so far. Actually really interesting because I think I've had this wrong idea that somehow because the book is kinda made a while ago that it somehow loses touch with the type of extremists and political landscape we have today, but that really is not the case, in fact I would say this is a great look into things before social media really ruined it all (or rather, made things worse). I know I could be called an extremist for some of my feminist views, and I try to at least evaluate content like this (that comes from a fairly neutral place, at least open minded and honest) as a person who could be seen as these people are. Obviously I'm not going to adopt their belief system, and in many instances I'm super critical of sexist behavior and magical thinking, but wow does a book like this make you think. I wonder if people against this books existence are out there, and if it's because they feel even neutral portrayal of controversial figures is too kind and will lead readers to enable harmful views, or perhaps I'm guilty of letting my own low IQ strawman take charge of my thoughts and emotions.
Anyway, it's nice to disconnect with social media and reconnect with what intrigues me from time to time.
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complete-clownery · 5 months
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Hahaha okay rant about this amazing fanfic (you probably heard of this one already but still)
So whenever it comes to explaining and writing under my posts I just get lazy but I need to push through this cuz I need to talk
So the fanarts were made for the lmk fanfiction sunbreak, that a lot of you (probably mostly shadowpeach shippers) had read, and it is amazing, I read trough it as fast as my brain let me and as you can see it has pleasantly scratched my brain so much so that I even (attempted) to make fanart for it
Ngl if I wasn't a major pussy I would try to illustrate the whole thing or make covers for each chapter but Im unable to work on something more than 2 hours and I would want those to look good, but good looking art (if I don't mess up) takes 6 hours ughh--- annoying much---
Anyways I'm not good with literature but man is this fix a masterpiece *chefs kiss* its everything its amazing, I was unable to put it down once I started it
Okay i dont think I have the brain capacity to explain how much I worship the writer of this masterpiece @ladygreenfrisbee , so i'm just going to talk about the drawings a tad
So first picture with Red Son and MK its sort of like an au in the fic where the whole lbd plot is somehow nonexistent and after Macaque gets to his sisters domain they settle down and raise the kids together without much of an issue aside from assassinations keep happening and trying not to get in trouble with the heavens
Id like to think that Gongzhu still wouldn't let the court tailors to put any form of red or gold on MKs outfits and only allowed the yellow after when MK was old enough to declare that yellow was his favorite color, but even now she would insist on some form of purple and shadow motives to let others know who the mother is
We also got baby MK and toddler Red Son and sassy LIF and Mac
Third pic with the lion: I don't know what it was or why but I just love general Song so much--- he's a major dickhead but sgvshshsevkdididhr (actually I kinda love all the original characters in this one, from the generals to the old lady in the beginning of the book, (gosh I also wanna draw some scenes from those chapters I loved how Mac and she interacted hshsjsj))
so chapter 34 was probably my favorite so far I re read it about two more times cuz it was amazing to see Macaque being the schemer he is and try to piss of Song lol
Last picture: its a sketch/a wip or whatever (probably not going to finish it but im still putting it there cuz its somewhat decent looking)
Its the part where Wukong remembered of Macaque finally finding him and asking for him to come back to flower fruit mountain.
I tried to make Macaque look more unhinged on this one but since I didn't finish it I dont think its that noticable so fuck that but I also gave him a halo like the saints to symbolise his suffering and what not (thought it looked cool and fitting think whatever you want about it lol)
And that all ((((hollly mother))))
If you read this trough, thank you and congrats👏👏
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