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silvantransthranduiltrash · 1 year

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Thranduil Can’t Get Drunk

No seriously, neither Thranduil, nor those of his line (oropher, legolas, etc) can get drunk. At least not off of the liquor commonly served.

The only way they can get more than slightly tipsy is with a highly specialized alcohol that they invented that takes 10 years to make.

It’s a result of how much they drink.

The thing is, they’re happy and functional drunks, so unlike others, who start behaving badly or incoherently after to many drinks, they don’t feel the need to stop drinking just because of a personality shift, so they drink almost all the time.

At this point legolas can drink non-stop while on guard duty and still be able to perform just as well as when he was sober.

So yeah, Thranduil might act drunk after too many drinks, but he isn’t at all and only does it to get away from people he doesn’t like.

Legolas has a habit of challenging anyone outside of his realm to a drinking competition bc they either don’t know (Elladan and elrohir) or don’t believe that he physically cannot get drunk unless it’s his own special brew (glorfindel).

They always regret it.

The fellowship: *at the wedding reception to Arwen and Aragorn*

The fellowship, minus Aragorn bc he knows better, plus faramir, eomir and eowyn: *enters drinking competition*

Arwen: *taking bets bc she absolutely will take advantage of the situation to make extra money*

The twins: *egging on the competition bc they remember their own bet that they lost and now want everyone else to suffer*

Aragorn: *tired dad sigh*

Gandalf: *inside cackles*

The results:

The hobbits: *merry is out for the count, with pippin giggling up a storm unable to stand straight, sam is giving a lecture on gardening, and Frodo is cackling insanely*

Gimli: *slurring words* -and that’s how my father helped win the battle-

Faramir: *hyperactive squirrel for 30 minutes before immediately crashing where he stands*

Eowyn: *challenging everyone to a fight*

Eomir: *thinks he can beat legolas now since he’s witnessed this competition before after helms deep* *is wrong*

Legolas: *on his third barrel with no difference between now and when he was sober, being cheered on by a crowd*

Arwen: *cackling like a money grubbing gremlin on crack*

Aragorn: *tired dad sign 2.0*

Elrond: *so happy that at least his children were smart enough not to challeng legolas in a drinking competition this time*

#thranduil #legolas #lotr #lord of the rings #thranduil physically cannot get drunk and he hates it #don’t get him wrong #it’s useful at times #but gods does he wish to drunk at times when his kid is being a reckless heathen #legolas similarly cannot get drunk ever and takes amusement out of swindling people #Arwen is his partner in crime and they split the profits #Aragorn challenged legolas to a drinking competition one time #and once was enough #unlike the twins #who continue to challenge legolas #only to loose and end up in the fountain in their underwear #the Silvana in general have a higher alcohol tolerance than any other elves #silvans*#glorfindel didn’t believe it and challenged thranduil himself #and Elrond had to hide his face in shame while celebrian egged him on

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