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theimprobabledreamersworld · 3 years

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Yayy! Despite trying to fight off a monster of a cold, I’ve got a new chapter written! :D

As I mentioned yesterday, this one is written from Logan’s POV because I’ve been wanting to create a back story for him in this story :)

I’ll post the chapter under a line on here, but please check it out on Ao3 too! I love reading comments and stuff to find out what people think :)

Hope you like it!

Taglist: @psychedelicships @edupunkn00b @jwillowwolf @kacklingisanart @look-ma-im-on-tv @stardustlv @lost-in-thought-20

Chapter 5. My Heart Was Made Of Stone. And You Broke It Twice.

“But the wind has changed. My walls are weakening. They’re gonna fall soon. And I’m gonna need you.”

Logan was a man who always kept his emotions in check. He never let himself get too consumed by any kind of feeling. Happiness, sadness, love, hate, anger… Ever since he was sixteen, he refused to be vulnerable ever again. If you’re vulnerable, you can be broken. He had been broken far too many times when he was growing up.

His parents were agreeable, he couldn’t deny that… but he was never enough for them. Even as a young child, nothing was quite good enough. He remembered when the class teacher told his parents that he was the first child to learn how to write his name… he stretched up to show them and they let the paper flutter to the floor saying it wasn’t neat enough. He was only four! It got worse as he got older. Every time he was proud of something he had achieved, like getting a high grade, he was always asked why it wasn’t full marks. The unattainable goals were never reached and it took a lot to even vaguely satisfy them. He worked himself into the ground for the entirety of his school life, it affected his health, but they still weren’t happy. He was never strong enough, creative enough, serious enough, smart enough… and it hurt so much to know that. His friends however were amazing, they would always encourage him and make him take breaks when they knew he was working way too hard. They could always cheer him up and he was eternally grateful for that. Logan clenched his fists… he hated how much it knocked him down when he would walk in smiling over something that happened at school, to be told they weren’t interested and to just go and study. He always set himself up for the fall almost every day… no wonder emotions became such a hinderance. Luckily, music was his salvation for about eight years.

Logan took his head out of his hands, readjusted his eyes to the light and felt how raw they were from crying before staring at the dusty piano in the house intently. He used to be pretty good at playing. He loved his classical music, and still does. Just not playing it anymore. When he still had lessons, he was always thrilled with the challenge of increasingly difficult pieces given to him by his teacher. It was funny, his music teacher was the only person who ever truly believed in him. He was also the one person who could convince Logan to perform. The last concert he ever played in was the day before his sixteenth birthday, he played his most difficult piece to date… Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu Op 66. They decided on that because it was originally a piece that no one was ever supposed to hear, Chopin never wanted it to be released after he died… but they did it anyway. His teacher said that he could then perform it however he wanted to, artistic interpretation and all that. He practiced and practiced at school so his parents wouldn’t hear it before. When it got to the concert, and his parents actually turned up, he was genuinely surprised. He walked out on the stage and sat down looking for his teacher who gave him a smile and a thumbs up, then the music began. He felt almost like he was watching himself play, he had never played with such determination before and as the final note rung out… there was silence. Before the room broke out into applause, his teacher was standing up clapping vigorously, then some of his classmates and other parents stood up too. His parents however were sat down, clapping politely with a neutral expression on their faces and Logan’s smile faltered. He gave a quick bow and walked quickly off the stage. His teacher followed him and gave him a hug while telling him how proud he was. Logan couldn’t stop the tears, he had never cried in front of another person, but no one had ever been proud of him before either. How embarrassing. The first time he had been shown positive interest by someone he respected, and he cried until the top of their shirt was damp with his tears. His teacher just held him and told him everything was okay. After he had calmed down and the tears had stopped, he went to go and join his parents for the second half of the concert, but their seats were empty.

In that moment, he didn’t get upset again and stayed unusually calm, and he knew that this was the final straw. He stayed at a hotel for the night at the insistence of his teacher, that way he could sort out his head and start looking up different apartment options. Which he did realise could be tricky as a sixteen-year-old… but he was smart, reliable, didn’t drink or smoke and had a substantial amount of money at his disposal. He waited until the morning and snuck back into his parent’s house to collect all of the things that he deemed necessary. Thankfully, the hotel manager was understanding and let him stay for the bare minimum price until he could find an apartment for himself. It took a few months, and the landlord had to be persuaded by his music teacher, but he found an apartment which was close to everything he needed and was affordable. One day, he would repay that teacher back for everything he had done for him.

He looked at the calendar, the picture of him and Virgil smiling and holding up their wedding ring hands was taunting him on the wall. He noticed the date. Wow, it had been ten years since he left without looking back, and he never heard a single word from them.

That was clearly for the best.

Ever since then, he never let emotions get the better of him ever again. However, as he looked around at the decimated living room, he had clearly broken and let all of those emotions consume him once again. Logan inspected the damage, as he traced the hole in the wall, the shattered photo frames and glass covering the floor, it caused his heart to fill up with regret. His heart was already full of pain, the regret was enough to make his heart quite literally tear in two. Virgil was the first person he felt like he could be vulnerable with again. When they first met, there was something about him, something that reminded him of himself. Maybe this guy was just as broken as he was, as he saw him hiding in the corner of the coffee shop trying to stay away from the world. He told Virgil this many times, but he had encased his heart in stone to keep it safe. As their relationship developed, as stupid as it sounds, he could feel the stone wall cracking and breaking off piece by piece, and he honestly didn’t mind in the slightest.

Now, he didn’t know what was going on with his heart. He was hurt, he was angry. It’s not every day you find out that the man you’ve been married to for the last five years spent most of his life as a well-trained and dangerous assassin. Going by Virgil’s words alone, the body count to his name is staggering and who knows how many people he’s hurt over the years. The argument they had earlier in the evening was playing on repeat in his mind.

“I couldn’t tell you!” Virgil shouted across the room.

“Why the hell not?! I’m your fucking HUSBAND Virgil, you are supposed to trust me. No matter what’s happened in your past!” Logan rubbed his forehead in frustration.

“Okay, you want to know why I hid everything from you? I did it to PROTECT you! My past is something that can be used against me, it is still being used against me. If anyone from it came after you… I would never be able to forgive myself!” The tears wouldn’t stop rolling down Virgil’s face as he spluttered out the words while his body shook with sobs.

Despite the hurt of seeing Virgil in so much pain, Logan couldn’t contain his anger. “What makes you decide if I need protecting? I can handle myself, ever since I was sixteen I’ve been on my own… You know that!”

Virgil sighed, like he was debating whether or not to say his next sentence.

“Remember when we met all those years ago? You told me about how you were attacked and how scared you were after it? Well… it was me. I was the guy who saved you. Every day since that moment, I vowed that I would protect you no matter the cost. Then I fell in love with you along the way, and I’ll love you until the end of time. If you want to know the truth about me, I know he gave you something. Look at it, and I won’t blame you if you try to turn me in to the police afterwards. I have to go now though, otherwise you will get hurt… I’m sorry, Lo.” Logan was left dumbfounded, and Virgil ran out of the front door, slipping away into the night.

There had been so many lies and too many secrets. He remembered that USB stick he threw in a drawer months ago. He opened it up and stared at the blue object, the label that read ‘Virgil… ?’ taunted him mercilessly. He looked over at his open laptop that was spared from his destructive anger, should he look at it?

Logan shook that thought away instantly, he needed to clear up first before making any kind of decision. He crouched down on the floor and started to sweep the glass over towards the sofa with his hand, just so he could clean it properly soon. He got to the first photograph, him and Virgil sitting in a restaurant holding hands and smiling at the camera. That picture was taken by Thomas and Nico, their two closest friends… He thought he should text them and see if they could come over. Virgil left half an hour ago, and he already felt too alone.

He’d contact them later, but for now. He wanted to stare at photographs and revel in his memories.

#fanfiction #ao3 #My story #ts fanfic #ts fandom #au #ts logan #ts virgil #assassin au #new chapter

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atc74 · 7 years

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Before You Said it Like That

A huge shout out to @zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat for the top left and middle right photos! Love you girl! All credits go to the artists.

A prequel I had floating around in my head to THIS piece I wrote about a month back.

Word Count: 2416

Warnings: Mentions of divorce, drinking, mentions of sex (like nothing really)

A/N: For the sake of fanfiction, let’s pretend that all parties are single (even me! - don’t tell my husband)! And a huge thank you to @just-another-busy-fangirl for being the world’s most amazing beta and a super great friend! And to my little, @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms for being, well, just being her.

I met Rob Benedict at a Supernatural Convention of all places. Now, I had been watching con videos and the show for a while now so I had seen him sing, but seeing him perform live hit me differently. The raw emotion that he channels when he performs made me feel things.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I was married for a while, a long while. But in the last few years, it wasn’t much of a marriage. As it happens sometimes, we grew apart and were never able to close the gap, even with a child to hold us together. We parted amicably, but that is in the past.

So there I was at the Convention and between two photo ops and an autograph, I must have caught Rob’s attention. I don’t even know how. I am not particularly spectacular or anything. What I am is honest and direct and loyal, if you have earned it. I am not exactly sure how it happened, but I was summoned by a Creation volunteer and found myself in a small conference room, on the other side of the table from none other than Rob Benedict. My body got warm all over and I had to check just to make sure I wasn’t sweating or had peed myself in excitement. Then I took a couple deep breaths to pull myself together, but all I managed to get was an extremely good whiff of Rob and whatever he was wearing. It was strong, masculine, earthy and was turning my knees to butter on the hot August day.

“Hey! I am so glad you came,” Rob greeted me as he walked across the room to where I was still standing, frozen in place.

“Hi, I am not sure what I am doing here and the volunteer didn’t give me much of a choice,” I was able to stammer out.

“I am so sorry! She was supposed to be polite and ask nicely!” Rob apologized.

“Oh, no! She was plenty nice, very polite, but wouldn’t tell me what was going on or where she was taking me. I am not very big on surprises,” I explained truthfully.

“That is my fault, I am afraid. What is it that they say… ’All roads are paved with good intentions.’ I didn’t mean to disrupt your day or make it appear as though something was wrong. You seem to be having a good time with your friends this weekend,” he added.

“Well, Mr. Benedict, I do believe you have been spying on me,” I dramatized in my best southern accent, throwing my hand over my heart.

“Funny and beautiful,” he murmured, but it was just loud enough that I heard him.

“Oh, you think so? Well, you happen to also be sweet and adorable, if I may be so forward,” I laughed.

“Yeah, the forwarder, the better!” Rob exclaimed, looking into my eyes.

“Sir, forwarder is not a word, but I like that you are funny, too,” I joked.

“I know this may also seem forward, but I was hoping you didn’t have plans later and I could take you out for a late dinner after we wrap up here…” he trailed off, looking down at the ugly carpeting.

“I am sorry, Rob. May I call you Rob? Anyway, aren’t you married? Don’t get me wrong, I would love to, but I can’t do that, not if you are with someone else.” I started to turn before he gently tugged on my wrist, my body now facing his once more.

“I am not; not anymore. We ended things a couple years ago, but didn’t want it to go public; only my close friends and family know. I am sorry, I should have lead with that,” Rob apologized again.

“First, stop apologizing. I understand, more than you know. Thank you for telling me. Second, I would love to see you tonight,” I smiled. “Just name the time and place.”

“Would nine be alright? I should be done by then. And I was thinking Hell’s Kitchen,” he suggested.

“Are you sure, Rob? That place is hopping and it’s very public,” I questioned, knowing if he wanted to keep his divorce private, this may not the best idea.

“Yeah, I‘m sure. Thank you, Ang; that was thoughtful of you,” he winked at me, holding my hand gently in his.

“You remembered my name?” I was stunned.

“Yes, Angelina, I remembered your name. A beautiful name for the beautiful woman. I am looking forward to tonight,” Rob finished and I could feel my cheeks heating up.

“Me too. I guess I will see you at nine. Bye Rob.” I reached for the door, reluctantly letting my hand fall from his, already missing it’s roughness and warmth.

~*~

Ana and Megs tried to call bullshit on me the minute I spilled where I had been.

“You guys, I didn’t know any of this and I am just as surprised as you are! Now, the real question here is what the hell am I going to wear?” I cried as we made our way back into the auditorium.

“And you are staying at my house and now I am abandoning you for him. I am a horrible friend!” I face palmed as we reached the large doors.

“No you are not! You are amazing and he sees that! We will be fine without you for one night. We are going to binge your Netflix and eat all your popcorn. Now, are we done here so we can get you ready?” Megs asked as I reached for the door.

“Yeah, I just want to say goodbye to everyone before we go,” I told them. There were plenty of people milling about between guests and I easily found those that I wanted to talk to before we left. Within ten minutes, we were packed up and on our way back to my car and my house. I needed a shower, a new look and a big pep talk.

By eight o’clock, I was dressed and my makeup was on point. Megs put the finishing touches on my hair while Ana fed me a shot to calm my nerves. “Hey, you got this. Deep breaths, Ang,” she was cooing softly to me.

“Guys, I haven’t been on a date in two years, scratch that, like five. I don’t even remember what I am supposed to do or say. This is a terrible idea!” I took another shot and started to take my shirt off.

“Oh no you don’t. You are going to be amazing as always. He wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t already see it. And being on a date is just like hanging out with us. You flirt with us all the time; he just doesn’t have boobs!” Megs tried to reason with me.

“Really? That is your pep talk; he doesn’t have boobs? I love you, but you kinda suck at this!” I laughed then turned to Ana for reinforcements.

“What Megs is trying to say,” Ana started, eyeing Megan, “is that don’t think of it as a date. Think of it as a happy hour. You do that all the time with people you know from work. It’s a late happy hour with a totally cute dude. No biggie.”

“Yeah, totally no big deal. Just a happy hour with a cute guy, who happens to be on TV!” I talked to myself while I put on my shoes. I turned to my two best friends. “Maybe you guys should come with me,” I sputtered.

“Nope, now go!” Megs pushed me toward the door while Ana grabbed my purse and my keys, kissing me on the cheek.

~*~

Thirty five minutes later, I found myself seated at a quiet table in the restaurant. The lights were dimmed more than normal and there was no one else in the entire place. I figured it would be slow for a Sunday night, but not dead. I was still having second and third thoughts and was seriously considering just getting up and leaving. I was early and he had not arrived.

Just as I shoved your phone back in my purse, I felt a hand on my shoulder, feeling a quick spark run through me. I looked up into the bluest eyes and was instantly captivated.

“Hi,” I whispered.

“I am sorry, I took a wrong turn; stupid one way streets! I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” Rob took the seat next to me at the small table, ignoring the other two chairs.

“No, I just got here a few minutes ago myself,” I fibbed, a few could be fifteen, somewhere.

“Good, I am glad you didn’t change your mind. I have to be honest with you, Angelina; I am really nervous. I haven’t been on a date in years, so I do not know what I am doing,” he admitted.

“I feel so much better hearing you say that, Rob. I feel the same way. I had a couple drinks already to help with the nerves, so you might want one, too,” I told him.

“I did too!” he exclaimed and we both laughed and it seemed to calm us both a little, save the electrically charged air that surrounded us.

The server arrived and we placed our drink order; he opting for scotch on the rocks and I asked for a bourbon neat.

“This place is deserted tonight; it seems odd,” I commented after the server retreated to the bar.

“Ah, I was hoping you wouldn’t notice,” Rob sighed. “I can explain. The manager kinda owed me a favor since I got his daughter a couple of gold passes for the weekend and a couple of sold out ops. I really hope you don’t mind.”

“A little presumptuous maybe, but no, I don’t mind. It is kind of nice, actually. It is quiet for once and that is really nice after the weekend I have had. Not to mention, you probably had an even louder one than I did!” I commented, watching his face as he watched me.

“Well that is true; it can be pretty loud, between karaoke and the concert, and the fans, not to mention Misha!” he laughed and it was nice to hear a genuine laugh again.

The server returned with our drinks and we placed our order before we were left alone once more. The girls had been right all along; this wasn’t that hard. I was a natural people person and talked to people for a living, so this was easier than I thought it would be. It had just been years since I was on an honest to God date and there I was with an extremely talented and attractive man that had reserved an entire restaurant to have a quiet date with me.

“Rob? Can I ask you something?” I peered at him over my my glass.

“Of course, you can ask me anything,” he replied.

“Why me? Why Minneapolis?” I asked before taking another sip, as the liquor slid it’s way down my throat, filling with me with warmth, just like my date.

“Honesty, right?” he laughed before continuing. “I don’t know if you remember, but I met you here two years ago, during a photo op. You were beautiful, with your red hair, sparkling blue eyes and bright smile; I was mesmerized by you. But I brushed it off, I was fresh out of my marriage, the ink wasn’t even dry on our papers yet. Then I met you again last year, but I was chicken and you were still you.

“Then Friday, I saw you at Karaoke, no ring, happier than you were the last two years so I took a chance. I am glad I did.” Rob smiled and reached across the table for my hand.

“I am glad you did, too,” I relaxed a little more as his thumb started drawing circles on the back of my hand, sending mini shock waves through my body. “Of course I remember. I live for these weekends with my friends. All the guests, Jared and Jensen, the band...you.” I finished, not breaking eye contact with him.

Our meal was served and we ate in a comfortable silence. I had thought it would be awkward, you know, silence on a first date, but it wasn’t; it was like I had been with him forever.

“When do you leave?” I asked as we finished our meals.

Rob wavered before answering and I prepared myself for the worst. “In the morning.”

“Rob…” I started, but my voice broke so I stopped.

“Hey, Ang, please don’t. Look, it took me this long to ask you out, do you honestly think I am going to let you get away? I know it won’t be easy, but don’t give up on us before we even get started,” Rob protested, his blue eyes pleading with me.

“Rob, I have a daughter. I have to be careful; she is my top priority.” I informed him.

“Ang, I have two kids, too. I know they will always come first, our children, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have room for someone else, too. All I am asking is for you to think about it.” He finished his drink.

“I promise to think about it,” I vowed, “but you might want to know something else, too. I, um, I write Supernatural Fanfiction!” I blurted out.

“Well, this is a new one for me,” Rob replied.

“This isn’t a problem for you? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” I told him.

“As long as you don’t write about us, I don’t see why not,” he hypothesized.

“Not even the sex?” I proposed, sending him a wink.

“Especially not the sex! Wait...there is going to be sex? That means you already thought about it. And you are in? Like, you for sure want to give this, us, a shot?” Rob rattled off his thoughts as fast as he had them.

“Oh, Mr. Benedict, there is most definitely going to be sex. And yes, I have thought about it. I put my own life on hold for years and am just now learning to live again, so yeah. I want to give us a shot,” I concluded, my eyes locking with his and pulling him to me.

“Check please!” Rob called before meeting me in the middle and pressing his lips to mine in the first of many, many kisses.

~*~

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#supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #Rob Benedict #Rob x Me #Rob Benedict Fanfiction #love me some rob #Say It Like That Series

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