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#Also there's a lot more about cluster B to dig into I just scratched the surface
calledchaos · 4 years
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VILLANELLE IS NOT A PSYCHOPATH, IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-
Okay, so Killing Eve is currently my favorite TV show, but there's one thing that's been bothering me since season one and it's the INCORRECT assumption that Villanelle is a psychopath.
First things first, please note I'm not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist, but I've done a lot of research for this show (if you listen to the parcast's Serial Killers podcast, you saw what I did there 💁🏾‍♂️).
While I don't know a lot about hired assassins, I do have a fair amount of knowledge on serial killers and their traits. So let's break Villanelle's character down so I can explain why I don't believe she's a psychopath OR sociopath, for that matter.
Actually, before we even to that, let's clarify WHAT IS a psychopath. For starters, the correct medical term used, as in, when you get diagnosed it's not as a psy/sociopath but rather as having antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). A person with ASPD can be born like that (that's what we usually call a psychopath) or can become like that (that's the sociopath). Their main difference is that psychopaths are most likely to be organized and calculating, whereas sociopaths are more "react in the moment" type, they're sloppy and messy.
Here's some patterns of ASPD:
* Superficial charm;
* Dishonesty;
* Lack of empathy;
* Coldness;
* Inability to form honest relationships;
* Poverty of emotions;
* They don't think through the consequences of their actions and they don't care about them either.
* They break rules, laws, moral codes, etc.
Now you're probably going like "well, you just described V before she met Eve", BUT NO, my dear fellow gay, NO. What really sorts a person with ASPD out is their inability to FEEL REMORSE.
They CANNOT FEEL IT. It's been scientific proven that their brains are wired in a different way than the regular human. If they're in a relationship it isn't based on love, but rather some kind of profit, whether it's financial or sexual, or whatever. If they're with you it's because they WANT something FROM you. They don't form relations as in "I vs You", but rather as "I vs It".
Now what normally shapes a person's personality besides their nature it's their nurture. Villanelle grew up in a toxic home with an abusive mother. That's like... mental illness starter pack (a very familiar field for tumblr users, ain't it? Have you taken your meds today btw?). Did yall see her mother? It's pretty easy to understand why she looks for validation so desperately and why she's attracted to older women with wild hair. Mommy issues at its finest.
Now to be diagnosed with ASPD a person necessarily needs to also be diagnosed with conduct disorder before the age of 15. For what we've learned, Villanelle was a difficult child and she did set the orphanage she was living in on fire, which is one of the patterns to qualify her. But if you suffer from some kind of abuse at an early age, you will act out, one way or another. They didn't make it clear, but I don't believe she used to torture animals and commit petty crimes when she was a kid, and those are the most common behaviors of children with conduct disorder. So if she didn't behave like that, she couldn't be diagnosed with ASPD after she turned 18.
When she killed Anna's husband it was from a place of jealousy, which's pretty common for female murderers, you don't have to be a psychopath for that, could very much be a crime of passion. His castration, however, indicates she perhaps needed to set a ritual to get her point across - which she repeated when she murdered Frank, but then again that was staging the body to shock Eve... Did she want to shock Anna as well or did she want to emasculate the husband? Honestly, I don't remember what that was about. BUT had her not be recruited by the Twelve, would she had killed again? She seems to be questioning that herself and from where I'm standing, I'd say maybe no. Because SHE ISN'T A SERIAL KILLER. I mean, now she is by definition, considering she's killed a ton of people, BUT LIKE serial killers kill because that's all they know, that's the only thing that brings them fulfillment and even that it's a tricky statement, because MALE serial killers kill for satisfaction; FEMALE serial killers normally kill for profit, like a tool to reach their goal. There are very few female serial killers that I know of that kill for the sake of it or even less so, for sexual gratification.
It's difficult to follow a pattern with a character, because you don't know how accurate the writer intended to be or how vast is their knowledge on people with ASPD, but because she has shown empathy for various characters so far (Konstantin, that kid she killed in the hospital so he wouldn't have to live without his family, her brothers...) and also because she fell in love with Eve, she CAN'T have ASPD. I mean, sure when it comes to human behavior nothing is 100% certain. Gary Ridgway, aka The Green River Killer, was convicted for murdering 48 women, but by the time he was caught he was married to a woman who pretty much said he was a great, loving and caring husband and he did say he actually loved her too, but he kept soliciting service from sex workers and killing them afterwards.
The thing is, specialists say that killing can be addictive. Though I don't consider Villanelle a psychopath, I'm okay with her having psychopathic tendencies. When she said she doesn't feel anything, she's just so bored, remember? It could very much be the reason why she got stuck in killing. Her first kill, Anna's husband, got her in jail where she would've stayed if it wasn't for the 12 recruiting her. They taught her how to do the job and I believe that gave her some kind of fulfillment. It made her finally feel something and that's why she kept killing. She had to learn how to disassociate herself from what she was doing in order to keep doing it. People became just subjects. But once she felt connected with Eve, that all started to crumble down.
Okay, so the first two seasons we don't see her really loving Eve, we see her obsessing over her. And that's pretty easy to crack: there was a middle aged woman with beautiful hair dedicating her days to find Villanelle. For someone who so desperately needed reassurance and attention, that was probably a burst of excitement she wasn't used to feeling.
The game changer happened in season 3, though. That scene when Konstantin told her Eve was still alive was SO WELL DONE. The camera angle tilting to the side, the slow motion, Konstantin's voice fading away. You can actually see in her eyes she's SPIRALING and that single tear rolling down her face while she smiled... IT'S A GOOD SCENE. I think in that moment she realized her feelings for Eve were a lot deeper than just her need to have someone to control and play with. She learned that her actions almost made her lose the one person she actually loves and probably also actually loves her back and she doesn't want to blow the miraculous second chance she got.
Since she thought she had killed Eve she was even emptier inside and killing wasn't giving her satisfaction anymore, but the thought of Eve surviving made her burst with emotions. She didn't need to kill anyone now, she just wanted Eve back.
Needless to say that's NOT how ASPD works. They're literally incapable of these kind of feelings. SO the pattern I THINK fits better is NARCISSISM.
Now, see... There are 10 personality disorders divided in three groups: clusters A, B and C. Antisocial Personality Disorder is one of the four disorders in cluster B and withing this group their common trait is narcissism.
There are two kinds of narcissists, the one that concerns us here are the ones that are charming, confident, they'll do whatever it takes to get what they want, even if means emotionally abusing their peers, manipulation, lying, cheating... They think they're the very apex of the world, people that only know them on the surface love them, they're the life of the party and yada yada yada. They're normally very successful, because when you don't care about people around you, you will climb to the top way faster (most - if not all - CEOs are narcissists btw). You're gonna noticed that this description is pretty similar to ASPD, but the big difference here is that narcissists CAN FEEL REMORSE AND SHAME, people with ASPD CANNOT.
BUT being a narcissist doesn't mean you have a personality disorder, it just means you're probably a fucking jerk. What will give you a diagnosis though is when your narcissistic behavior causes you impediments. When it causes you trouble in all areas of your life, professional, personal, familiar, etc., when it makes you miserable it's when you can be diagnosed with another cluster B disorder: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
It is incredibly difficult to diagnose someone with NPD, because these people very rarely see themselves as having a problem. Like I said, they normally live their best lives, no need to change anything. So when it comes back to bite them in the ass (which sometimes never happens, because the universe is unfair) and if by a miracle they realize that THEY are the problem, that's when you get a NPD ticket. If you're following my thought process you know where I'm going with this...
VILLANELLE ISN'T A PSYCHOPATH, SHE'S A NARCISSIST WHO DEVELOPT NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER.
While being an assassin was giving her everything she wanted, Villanelle was just fine with her nice life, cool flat and fun job. The only thing she was lacking was someone to watch movies with and being a narcissist she thought she had to control someone in order to be loved by them (narcissists are actually very insecure, that's why they're so extra with the manipulation, they don't deal with rejection well). Once she felt actual feelings, when she realized how her explosive ways almost costed Eve's life, that's when she understood that her actions took her to a place she didn't quite like anymore and if she wanted to have a another shot and do things right, she needed to change.
In real life people with NPD need a lot of therapy and even so, they won't impruve much tbh, 'cause that's just how their brains work. But for the sake of the poetry, I'm more than okay with accepting that Villaneve's connection is so strong it made an skilled narcissist assassin to come down from her high horse to put Eve as a priority. Villanelle giving Eve the option to walk away for good to have a better stable life away from the chaos their feelings for each other created is probably the most romantic thing I've ever seen and I can rant about that season 3 finale for hours too, don't try me.
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little-green-forest · 3 years
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Which comic should I focus on doing?
1: Wolf, fox, cat.
A comic series introducing the world, rules and beliefs of all of my OCs. The main character in this story is Gray M. Fox and she is learning everything about her new home (Landtribe) after a tragic incident involving the death of her parents. Her friend and adopted brother, Orange C. Stripe teaches her everything she (and the reader) need to know about this world. This would probably be the best original story to go with cuz’ it explains a lot of stuff better than I could teach you guys with any other original story.
2: Fur, Feather, and Stone
This is the story of Geode, Pine, and Azalea and they run all around there world chasing Pepper, Pine and Azalea’s evil father. Although the story is from Geode’s point of view it has plenty of flash-backs from all three of them, explaining a lot of spoiler-y backstory.
3: Possessed AU
Oh god another evil Steven AU. This Steven Universe AU starts after fragments and when Jasper reforms Steven lets her follow him and even threatens to shatter her again if she disobeys him. After the events of homeworld bound the gems and connie are all worried about him and crowd around him like that scene in everything’s fine but instead of having a breakdown and “corrupting” he instead poffs the gems and slaps connie (jez kevin) then runs away out of beach city. After a little the B team (Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth) show up and are like WTF HAPPENED?!? And after Connie explains and the gems reform they all go out and chase Steven around and the rest (aka the best parts and major differences from the original series) is spoiler territory.
4: Rejuvenated AU/Theory
I have a lot of AUs but this one is also loosely a theory on Jasper’s full character story. This AU is based on an idea I had that Jasper was once on the rebellion's side but then the diamonds captured the strongest member (other than the leader, “Rose Quartz”) then rejuvenated her to get her on their side. I’d also like to sprinkle in a lot of stories about the war (Jasper and Rose fighting each other) and the diamonds just brainwashing Jasper into absolutely despising Rose and many other things.
5: Camp Camp x Steven Universe AU
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Just think of the chaos
6: When darkness resembles good
Angelsdarkness’s backstory.. to much going on to sum it up fast, but I made a lot of projects with him on my old Scratch account if you wanna dig around there.
7: Edgy SU AU
This one is pretty brutal. You see, I this AU Greg died while Rose was still pregnant with Steven and since she still wanted Steven to have tabs on his human side so she put Vidalia in charge of being Steven's new "dad" but the rest of the gems (other than Amethyst but G and P don't listen to her) didn't know or trust her so Steven was raised a lot differently. Steven stayed with Vidalia for the first 5 years of his life before he was given to the gems, who after getting Steven, NEVER let him near any other human and since they didn't have Greg to teach them about what humans need, they tend to starve him and never let him sleep. There teaching methods are even more fucked up as they beat the crap out of him while trying to make him use powers. The only reason I'm not calling this the “Abused AU” is because I think that’s the name of Jøzlyn Moon’s (on yt)  AU so I felt I needed to change it, and I thought, ya, the physical and mental abuse could just, turn edgy.
8: Corruptied Time Trap SU AU
Oh, god- Steven used the time warp (or whatever it was called- I have forgotten the real name of it but it was the thing from the pilot and Steven and the Stevens) just before he corruptied and when he got to the time of Era 2 near the beginning of the original series and then ends up in Homeworld and gets trapped by the diamonds and tested on because as stated in Legs From Here to Homeworld the diamonds don't know what corruptied gems are. 
9: Fallen Jasper AU
After unfuseing with Lapis after weeks of being trapped with her, Jasper found herself falling into the underground of earth, just before the cluster was about to emerge. This is much less of an AU and more of theories on what happened to Jasper after all the chaos of “Super Watermelon Island” and oh boy, does it make you fell really bad for Jasper
10: Ashstar AU
Finally, an AU that isn’t SU. This AU revolves around the idea that Firestar dies when Hawkfrost wanted him to. This happens because Ashfur notices when Brambleclaw is about to kill his bro, and saves Hawk’s ass. When Hawkfrost realized his brother was going to kill him he turns the tables and both the Thunderclan leader, and deputy are dead. After Thunderclan finds out about this, Ashfur tells a lie, saying he saw Brambleclaw attack Firestar and he had tried to protect Firestar by killing Brambleclaw but he was to late to save Firestar. Everyone believes this and decided to make Ashfur the new leader scents he at least tried to save Fire. Also this AU is very Ash/Hawk because I love my gay babies.
I will do all of these at some point but you guys will need to tell me which one to do first cuz I can't do them all at once.
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We’ve had a couple questions about ASPD vs BPD sitting in our inbox for a couple days now, so I wanted to take the time to answer them and sort of combine them into this post. To be honest, I only know the basics of ASPD, but I’m by no means an expert. 
I did some digging around, and for more informed answers, you may want to head over to your-aspd-dad as they’re certainly more knowledgable, and seem very willing to answer questions!
Questions/Answers under the cut :)
Q: Hi. I’m pretty sure I have aspd and was unofficially diagnosed with it. It fits perfectly, except for some things: I have mostly rage outbursts, but sometimes RANDOM general emotional breakdowns. I have excoriation disorder, and daily persecutory delusions. I have in my mind someone that sounds very much like what you called FP, but I still haven’t met someone like that. Also, really often, when the boredom/void strikes, i happen to dissociate. These made me think of bpd; wyt?
A: By “in your mind,” do you mean you have the idea of an FP? Or do you mean that as part of your delusions/psychotic symptoms you feel you have an FP though it isn’t necessarily another person? My answer would change depending on that. I think we’ve gone pretty in depth about FPs this past week, so check out our FP tag if you haven’t already!
There’s a lot of overlap when it comes to any cluster B disorder, and if you look at Millon’s Subtypes you can read a lot more about different ways that PDs may present (though no one is going to completely cut and dry fit into any one subtype, it’s a good place to start). On page 15 here you can read much more in depth descriptions of how different traits may present in ASPD. That same text, you can read about BPD on page 20 (though pp. 17-19 may also be helpful because Millon’s language sucked sometimes).
There’s a good chance you may have ASPD with borderline traits! It’s not unheard of! Personality disorders (and really just the human mind and the way it develops) are incredibly complex, and having one doesn’t disqualify you from having another. A friend of mine has AvPD and DPD! Both are cluster C disorders. Cluster overlap is way more common that you would think, even in cluster B disorders where some of them feel polar opposite sometimes. I’d talk more with your doctor about this, as they’ll know better than me, and if it’s something that’s weighing on your mind, a mental health professional is going to be your best resource.
Q: Thanks for the fp input. Honestly l know there’s something wrong with me, I can’t really say what. All the aspd symptoms match perfectly, I cannot find anything that makes me think “I don’t have this”, but I definitely feel in need of a fp just like you described, which contradicts aspd. But I don’t trust anyone to have an actual fp, and that’s more aspd. I don’t want to self diagnose but I’ve been manipulating my therapist ever since and I have this huge big mask that 1) would be stupid to drop 2) i was so good at creating basically another person they wouldn’t even take me seriously if I talked about aspd or bpd 3) it’s like i physically can’t stop manipulating and lying to them. I have both of my parents with mental disorders and a couple of diagnosed BPD people in my family, don’t know if there’s any genetic involved 
I thiiiink this is the same person? I’m not sure, though, which is why I made sure to distinguish the two asks. 
Personality disorders certainly have a genetic component, as with any mental illness. Having mentally ill family members affects you in both “nature and nurture” as it were. So, having family members with BPD certainly increases your likelihood of developing it as well.
As I said in the ask I answered above, cluster B PDs have a lot of overlap. Craving an FP doesn’t invalidate your having ASPD, nor does it mean that you therefore must also have BPD. Having traits of another disorder is not uncommon nor unheard of, and the desire for that level of comfort and reliance on another person doesn’t make your PD any less real.
If you say you’ve been manipulating your therapist and you don’t want to drop your “mask,” then I say you have two options. Suck it up, drop the mask, and talk to your therapist openly and honestly. Admit you lied about things and that you want to work on getting better and moving past the things you were hiding before. Your therapist might be surprised, but won’t be upset. Your other option is to just find a new therapist and start from scratch. Be honest from the get-go. I know myself, and I know I would much rather just come clean to my original therapist, but you and I are different people, so, hey, what do I know?
Your therapist is there to help you. They can’t help if they don’t know there’s a problem. And you don’t have to say, “Hey, remember when I said all this stuff? I was lying!” You can start the conversation instead by saying, “Hey, I said this stuff before, but I didn’t mean, I just wasn’t ready to talk about [x]. I think I’m ready now.” It’s your therapist’s job to understand and to work with you. They’re not there to make judgements. They can’t help you if you don’t talk. That’s what you’re there for. So talk!
I hope this helped in some way, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. Like I said, I’m not the most informed about ASPD. I sincerely wish you luck, though, as you continue to work towards recovery and getting the help you need <3
-Sydney
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Erin Chapter 1
"It's all about the four Bs" Loramir held up four fingers to demonstrate, taking a hand off the table he was supposed to be helping carry.
"What are you talking about" Volfram had been handling the load just fine by himself so he didn't really have to adjust for the shift in weight distribution.  It was something he was used to, Loramir's assistance was usually more metaphorical than physical.
"The key to the success of any adventuring group is that their members meet the four Bs."  By this point Loramir had taken both hands off the table and was now waking beside Volfram.  "Beauty, this is me of course.  Brawns, you, obviously.  And then Hannah was our brains.  But considering her meltdown yesterday, maybe her brains weren't all there after all."
"Loramir!  She was our friend." Volfram slammed the table down, partially because he had arrived at their destination, and partially because slamming things down for emphasis was a habit of his.  Unfortunately the thud was much less satisfying when hitting soft grass and dirt
"Was being the operative word. Friends do not just leave."  Volfram grumbled in response.  It was hard to argue that point
"Yeah, well that's only three, what's the fourth?"
Loramir sat on to the massive table, his long legs still able to dangle off the ground as he swung them playfully.  "I'm still working on that one.  There is some ineffable quality, I can't quite put my finger on.  But both Bigsby and Firo had it.  And The Alchemist had it as well."
"Is it being reckless and stupid and getting themselves killed?"
"No that doesn't start with a B. Its something else.  I'll think of it."
Volfram scanned the area.  They were in a clearing in the middle of a dense forest, miles from town with only themselves, a table, and hundreds of trees within sight. "Loramir, we don't have any chairs."
"Who needs chair when you have . . " Loramir paused with bated breath, fishing in his pocket as he waited for his friend to finish the sentences
Volfram breathed a heavy sigh, ". . .pocket thrones."
"POCKET THRONES!"  With much gusto, Loramir threw two small pieces of metal down on the ground. He waited a few moments for Volfram to get out of the way before he shouted "THE MAGIC WORD!"  Instantly, the two small objects exploded in to their full size, going from a mere inch, to nearly 8 foot tall.  Or they would be if they were standing up straight, instead one had landed on its side and the other was laying face down in the dirt.  Volfram righted both of the ornately decorated and uphlostered thrones, moved them closer to the table and plopped down in the one on the left.  Loramir dusted off the other, fluffed up its red velvet cushioning, and draped himself across it, his back propped against one armrest, his legs dangling over the other.  Loramir pulled an apple out of his robe and began polishing it on his sleeve. "And now we wait."
"Why do you insist on 'olding,er, I mean holding, tryouts in the middle of nowhere anyway?"
"Simple," Loramir replied through a mouth full of apple, "its the first test.  Anyone who lacks the skills or energy to come and find us is not worth our time. Its an easy way to weed out the undesirables.
It was quiet morning on the road, which was odd for this time of year and day, only two figures could be seen, a girl and a wolf.  The girl, Erin, was young, early 20s, and utterly remarkable in how unremarkable she was, with the exception of her outfit.  Beneath her traveler's cloak, she wore a set of the finest leather armor that most would ever see in their life, exquisetly hand stitched and with a wolf's head embroidered on the left side of the chest.  She had a recurve bow slung over her right shoulder with a quiver of arrows strapped to her back. A pair of daggers hung at her side, along with a wineskin, a couple of small pouches and little else.  She turned back and whistled as she patted her leg, "Come on Princess!  Come on girl."  A few yards back, a lean, grey wolf's ear perked up, turned her head away from the pile of refuse that she had been sniffing in, noticed the girl calling for her, and sauntered back, panting.  The warm summer sun made things rather warm in her thick fur coat..  Erin knelt down to embrace her  and scratch behind her ears.  "Oh good girl, gooooood girl.  Who's my pretty girl?"  Erin looked in to Princess's eyes, the left was a radiant golden yellow, the left was an icy blue with long eyelashes, eye shadow, and also happened to be painted on the back of a tattered eye patch that covered a series of three jagged scars. "You are!  Yes you are."  Princess's ears perked up and her tail wagged as her face shifted in to what could only be classified as a smile before savagely attacking Erin with her tongue.  "Oh no, no licks.  Oh gross, I don't know where that mouth has been.  Well, I do, and it only makes it worse." Erin pushed the wolf back and ruffled the fur on her neck a couple more times before standing up and brushing herself off.
Erin took a moment to scan the horizon.  The road continued forward with small cottages dotting the landscape, clustered closer and closer together the farther back they got until they reached a massive spired wall that encompassed the landlock sides of the sprawling port city of Innastorm. "Stay close, Princess.  This place isn't anything like back home.  Wolves running around in the street digging through trash isn't looked upon well in places like this.  While we're here, you have to act like you're my pet, which means you need to be on your best behavior, okay?"  The wolf's ears dropped and her face sank indicating that she understood but wasn't happy about it.  "OH don't be such a grump!  Come on."  Erin strode toward the city, purposefully and with her head held high.  Meanwhile Princess followed behind with her head hung low and her tail dragging the ground.  But Erin wasn't going to let her friend's attitude problem ruin her day, her mind was on other things.  After several days of traveling she was nearly there.  She was almost a real deal adventurer.
Before long she found herself within the walls of Innastorm.  It truly was like nothing she had ever seen. There were buildings all around her, all crammed up next to each other, with many even sharing walls.  Everywhere she looked there were people, talking, walking, just doing and being.  The ground was all either cobblestone or mud, not a speck of green in sight. And it just went on as far as the eye could see.  "Wow this really is nothing like home.  I guess we're gonna need directions if we ever hope to find out destination.  Hmmm."  Erin took a moment the scan the crowd milling about in front of her as well as all the adjacent peoples before her eyes settled on a dwarf running a fruit cart.  "Ahh there we go," she remarked as she made her ways towards her.  "Excuse me Ma'am, I would like to buy an apple, and a pomegranate if you have any."
"Ah a pomegranate, a girl of particular tastes.  I take it you're not from her originally." The saleswoman pulled an apple from one of the display crates and began to polish it, eyeing the wolf warily.
"Nope, I'm from a small little farming village back a few days east of here"  Noticing the saleswoman's unease at the beast beside her, she began to scratch Princess's ears, a gesture the wolf very much enjoyed it and was not shy about showing how much she enjoyed it.
"Farming village out east, huh? How'd you come across pomegranate?"  The woman placed the freshly polished apple on the counter and, having seen the wolf seemed to be no cause for concern, stooped down behind the cart and began rummaging around in a few boxes behind the stall.
"Well you see, my mom actually managed to get a pomegranate tree to grow back home.  Green thumb like you wouldn't believe.  Dad said she once made a rose bloom in the middle of winter."
"Fascinating.  It is quite uncommon for a tree like that to grow in such an environment.  It must have had very rich soil to flourish in."
Erin thought of her mom, her glow and her vibrant energy.  The way she tended to her cuts and scrapes when she came back from her adventures in the forest, or pretend sword fights with the other kids.  She remembered the family dinners, the cold winter nights huddled together for warmth.  She remembered the way she would braid her hair while humming her favorite song.  She remembered her being their to listen to just anything she had on her mind.  She sniffled and wiped a tear from her eye."Yeah, I'd say that's accurate."  
"Ah, here we go."  The shopkeep rose from the back of the stall holding aloft a not particularly pretty, but fresh and ripe fruit.  The shopkeeper noticed the  tears in the girls eyes.  "I'm sorry this is all we have, they mostly grow in the south, and there's not a lot of demand so--" "No no, its okay, I swear everything is fine." She wiped her face on her sleeve and sniffed again, forcing a laugh. "I don't suppose you could tell me where the Angry Squid is?"
"Ah, I thought you might be the adventuring type."  The dwarf decided to play along in order to ease the palpable tension.  "Explains why you traveled all the way here.  You're looking for the port district.  Just keep heading west down the main thoroughfare you came in on, they're right on the main road, hard to miss with their sign.  If you start to see a lot of sailors walking about, you're getting close.  If you wind up in the ocean, you went too far.
Erin chuckled as she handed over a few coins and grabbed the fruit. "Thank you, I hope you have a splendid day, hope to see you again."
"And I as well, safe travels young one."  The shopkeep smiled as she waved to the departing girl. She really did hope she would see her again.  Her warmth was infectious and to see it snuffed out so young like so many other young adventurers like herself truly would be a tragedy.
It didn't take much longer before she had arrived at her destination.  And the fruit woman had been right about the sign.  A flashily painted 8 ft tall sign of a massive irate squid holding a helpless sailor in each tentacle was in fact very hard to miss.  It would be easy to find even if you were piss drunk, which judging by the clientele loitering around the outside of the establishment, was likely a selling point.  Erin swallowed the seed of fear forming in the back of her throat took a deep breath, held her head high and strode through the saloon doors.
The first thing she noticed when she walked through was the noise.  All around her people were talking, and music was playing but she couldn't figure out from where.  She had hoped to make more of an interest, that every one would have gotten quiet and turned to look when she walked in, but she was starting to get the idea that in a place of this size, they probably get half a dozen people like her walk in every day.  The next thing she noticed was the size.  It had seemed pretty big on the outside, but now that she was inside it seemed even larger, at least twice the size of the inn back home.  After she took a moment to let the immensity of the place sink in, she took a moment to get the details..  
It was a split level establishment with many doors lining the walls of the lower level as well as the upper balcony.  On the walls of either side of the door she came through were two large boards covered with various papers. Throughout the rest of the establishment, every square inch of available wall space was dedicated to a plague or trophy commemorating one thing or another.  The floor was littered with food debris of all kinds, some of it quite old, as well as the occasional broken plate or cup.  Clearly this place was not concerned with cleanliness or appearances.  Around the room as well as up on the balconies, were several tables of various sizes, many of them occupied.  Some seated only a couple of individuals, some held upwards of ten.  Every so often a group would be joined by an individual, then they would go to one of the many doors and head in. Sometimes a group would come out of one of those rooms and split up. At the center of the room was a large pillar surrounded by many shelves.  Upon the shelves lay more bottles than Erin could ever hope to count..  A circular bar ran around the outside of the bass of the pillar, around which many patrons were huddled.  Laying on top of the bar was a gnome of swarthy complexion and chestnut hair.  He wore a white tunic with a  low neckline exposing a light amount of chest hair.  It was hard to gauge the age of a gnome, but the specks of grey in his hair and the light wrinkles around his eyes indicated that he was getting on in years.  He lay on his side as he rested his head on his outstretched palm and took infrequent long drags from a pipe he held in his other hand.  He had locked eyes on her when she had walked in and as far as she could tell he was the only one paying attention to her.  He waved at her with his pipe
She took a moment to steel herself for whatever may come next and made her way to the bar.  When she drew close, the man greeted her "Hello, welcome to the Angry Squid." The man spoke with an accent she couldn't quite place.   My name is Sawyer, what brings you to this fine establishment?  Just a drink, or something more?"
"Well, with any luck its both. Can I get a cider?" "No problem."  Sawyer waved his pipe and suddenly an empty glass floated off the shelf in front of her.  It drifted over and up a few shelves before stopping in front of a keg.  The cork suddenly freed itself and brown liquid poured out in to the mug.  After a moment, when the glass reached its capacity, the keg re-corked itself and the mug floated back down and finished its journey in front of Erin.  "And the something more?"  He flashed a cocksure grin.
"Huh, neat trick."  The mug was of clear glass with a handle wrapped in leather.  The actual glass of the mug was covered in a thin layer of frost, but the handle remained warm.  She wiped some of the frost off with a finger, and within a few moment the section was covered once again in ice.  She lifted the glass above her head to see a series of pale blue runes glowing on the underneath side.  "Fascinating."
"Yes, its my own handiwork. Everfrost mugs.
"Never had anything this fancy back home."  She took a moment to appreciate the glass after polishing off the drink and setting it down.
"Ah, small town girl.  You're probably seeking the adventure boards."  He gestured with his pipe towards the two large boards on either side of the door she had come through.  "Based on your outfit and companion, I'm guessing you're the adventuring type, so you probably want the one on the left, its the party board.  Its for people seeking additional adventuring companions, the one on the right is the quest board, its for people looking to hire adventurers for work.  But a word of warning since you're new around here and I likes the cut o yer jib. I saw the guys from The Magnificent Monarchs putting up a flier this morning, stay away from them.  Trust me, they are more trouble than they are worth.  Everywhere they go, they bring nothing but chaos." Erin's ears perked up at the sound of her favorite word
"Magnificent Monarchs, chaos, noted.  Hey could you whip me up a bit of vodka and orange juice. I've got a hunch I'm gonna need it."
"Ah yes, a screwdriver, I am familiar with it.  If an ex sailor knows anything, its his liquor, especially the kind that prevents scurvy."
"Excellent."  Erin slapped a few coins down on the counter and walked over to the board.  All across it were papers and parchments of all descriptions.  Some were individuals looking to join existing groups, other were for groups needing to fill spots.  She just scanned over them, looking for the right one.  Finally, she noticed it at the very top of the board, nearly ten feet up.  She jumped and tried to reach for it but it was well out of her grasp. She pushed a few people out of her way, muttered a few words under her breath as something formed in her grasp and she shot her hand forwards.  Suddenly a thick green vine extended forth and wrapped around the parchment, she gave it a simple tug and the vine retracted back leaving her with only the paper in her grasp.
"HEY!" the voice of the barkeep cried out behind her. "Read the sign."  He pointed towards a large sign above the bar which loudly declared "THE USE OF SPELLS OR WEAPONS ON PREMISES IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED"
"Sorry, new here."
"Yeah I know, just make sure it doesn't happen again."  He grumbled something under his breath about small towns and went back to minding the bar as Erin examined the flier she was now clutching.
THE MAGNIFICENT MONARCHS
Now seeking very excellent applicants
Anything less than the absolute best of the best need not apply
Today only Your first test is finding us
Good Luck
After reading over it a few times to make sure she didn't miss any additional information, she stooped down and held it in front of Princess for a few moments to allow her to sniff it thoroughly, she grabbed a tack from the bin below the board, stuck it back up in an empty spot and then headed back to the bar.
"So barkeep, what can you tell me about--
"Two guys, one of em is an elf in fancy robes, the other looks like a bear skin rug draped over a mountain.  How did I know you would beeline straight for em?" The gnome slid another mug towards the woman.
"What can I say, I'm a girl who likes her chaos.  And I think I'll be taking this to go." Erin pulled out her wineskin, popped the cork off and poured the contents of the mug inside.
"Well, don't say I didn't try to warn ya.  And my name is Sawyer by the way, you'll be needing to know it.  I'm the one you'll be coming to when they ask you to pay off their bar tabs."
Erin looked over her shoulder as she walked out the door.  "Good, cause I look forward to talking to you again.  My name is Erin, by the way, you'll be needing to remember it for the plaque they're gonna put up for me one day."
Sawyer smiled and waved as she left.  "I look forward to that day, Erin.  Safe travels. OH, and tell those two they better bring my table back in one piece."
Erin stepped a few feet outside and then knelt down to Princess "Okay girl, you remember the scent from that paper?  Find it!"  Immediately, the wolf took to the ground, hunkering low and sniffing the area.  After a few moments, the wolf locked on to a scent and begun after it.  With Erin in tow, they shortly found themselves around the back of the building with Princess barking and jumping and attempting to climb a stack of boxes resting against the back of the Saloon.  "So they're up there girl?  Interesting, hide right under everyone's noses.  I like their style.  Okay, wait here girl, I'm going up."  With a hop and a scramble she sound found herself on top of the boxes and pulling herself up on to the establishment's roof, with the help of a couple of groans and strains and an encouraging yip from Princess.
Once she was up, she immediately noticed one cloaked figure on the opposite end of the roof from her, holding some object aloft.  It was small, too small to be an elf.  And there was no sign of a mountain wearing a bear skin rug.  But whoever this was, they likely had some connection to the flyer since their scent was all over.  It was worth a closer investigation.  She decided to creep up closer and perhaps figure out what it was holding before making her presence known, but no sooner had she taken a single step on the roof top, the figures head snapped around causing their hood to blow back, revealing their face.  He stuffed what appeared to be a spyglass in to his cloak and strode closer to Erin.
It was obvious that he was a Muridian at a glance, the fur, the whiskers, the rat-like features. Despite being from a small town nowhere near their kingdom, she still knew a thing or two about them.  There was an elderly Muridian couple, the Hughes's in the town she grew up in.  They were very pleasant folks who often came to her parents shop, they would sometimes share home made dishes with her family.  She was rather a fan of Muridian cuisine.  "Umm excuse me, are you--"
"HA!  If you followed me up here that means you no doubt seek the same quarry."  His voice was a deep and booming baritone, something she did not expect from his small, four foot frame.  Mr and Mrs Hughes both spoke in high squeaky tones.  "You're a fool if you think I would give any information to my competition."  He was now close enough to get a good look.  Across both his face and body, fur was missing in several patches, some forming jagged lines, others were in round or oblong splotches.  It reminded her of the scars Princess wore under her eyepatch.  His leather armor was similarly marred, covered in scratches, punctures, and burn marks, with a large hole in the stomach region.  He wore a bandolier across his chest of various pouches, and another one as a belt.  Dangling from his waist appeared to be a large wooden mallet on one side and a case of crossbow bolts on the other.  A thick leather strap running perpendicular across his chest to the bandoleer and a large bulge in his cloak indicated he likely had a crossbow slung across his back to go with the bolts.  He ran his fingers through the short coif of hair atop his head.  "Not like I have anything to tell you.  This lookout is a wash.  The walls of the city are too high, I can't see over them."
"Oh that's okay, I'm just--" Erin attempted to interject but was interrupted once again
"I fear I must depart now.  But I will leave you with this."  He reached out his small hand in an offer to shake hers.  Erin obliged.  "Never wash this hand.  When the whole world knows my name and my heroic deeds, this will be a treasured memory to share with all your friends."  His eyes shone like sparkling emeralds as he gave her a wink, upon which he released her hand and sprinted away, leaping to and adjacent rooftop
"I DIDN'T EVEN GET YOUR NAME!"  She yelled after him, but it was no use, he was lost in his own world and several buildings away at this point.  She watched him for a moment until he eventually disappeared out of sight, shrugged her shoulders and climbed back down to where Princess was eagerly awaiting.  "Well that was certainly interesting. Looks like we have some competition for a spot on that team.  We better get a move on while the tracks are still fresh."
The pair made their way back to the front of the building as Erin reviewed what she knew. Two individuals, one of which was quite large, and carrying a table. This should mean his tracks would be quite large and deepset, if they weren't on cobblestone that is.  However, thanks to her run in with the strange Muridian, she had a hunch they weren't likely to be on the streets anywhere or he would have spotted them with his spyglass. And since they took a table with them, odds are they were going somewhere they would need to bring their own furniture, so anywhere indoors was unlikely as well.  Her gut told her they were somewhere outside the city.  To the west was nothing but ocean, and she had come in from the East and seen no one matching their description on her way in, which meant they likely went out either the north gate or south gate.  On the way in to town, she had taken note of the landscape.  To the north was nothing but wide open fields, didn't seem like there would be any place secretive to set up.  On the south side were several groves of trees, her best guess for where they were camped out, so she decided to head in that direction.  On her way out she stopped to ask people in the streets if they had seen anyone matching their description heading out of town.  Recollections were often hazy at best but most people she talked to were able to recall a large beast of a man with a table and an elf dressed too rich for this part of town heading towards the south gate.
Upon leaving the city and finding herself on the muddy road out of town, it didn't take long to find the tracks she was looking for.  They were massive indeed and sunken quite far in to the ground.  Even factoring the table the man was carrying, she could tell by how deep they were that the descriptions she had heard of this man's size weren't as grossly over exaggerated as she had thought.  The tracks continued down the road for some distance.  After about 10 minutes she came upon a broken down wagon off to the side of the road.  She was focused on the tracks and not her surroundings, a rookie mistake, so she paid it no heed, or else she might have noticed the trio of bandits doing a very poor job of hiding behind it.  As soon as she was within ambushing range, the three of them jumped out, brandishing spears.
"My my my, what 'ave we here?"  The largest man, the one on the right spoke first."
The scrawny one on the left spoke next.  "A tasty little tart, innit?  What say you boys, who wants second crack at her when I'm down."  The trio of ne'erdowells broke out in to raucous laughter.  Suddenly, the one in the center whom she guessed to be the leader grew stone faced and leveled his spear at her.  
"But seriously, this is a robbery, unless you want it to turn in to a murder, I suggest yous drop your valuables and run back to wherever it is you come from.  And that includes that fancy armor you got."  Princess began to growl and bare her teeth
"Whoa there!  Ey Boss, what we gonna do about this mutt?"  The bandit on the left lowered his spear towards the wolf.
"Looks good enough to eat.  I reckon we cook it up and wolf it down."  The bandit on the right laughed at his own joke
"I ain't decided yet. Oi, you.  Calm your beast before I do it for you."  The leader gestured towards the wolf menacingly before leveling it at Erin once again.
"Easy there, no problem.  Princess!"  Erin whistled loudly, her friend immediately stopped growling and turned to look at her.  The girl made a series of hand signals, and the wolf sat down, seemingly calm and relaxed.  "As you can see, Princess is very smart, and eating her would be a waste.  I don't have much in the way of valuables, and what few possessions I do have are sentimental, but if you let me live, you can have her.  I'll even teach you all the hand signals."
"Hmmm, 'at dudn't sound too bad.  I reckon we gots a deal.  But no funny business. Drop yer weapons first and step back."
"That sounds fair. Can't be too careful." She pulled the bow off her shoulder and tossed it on  to the ground a couple of feet to her right. She took the quiver off next, tossing it haphazardly causing it to fly end over end and spill its content all across the ground.  "That just leaves the daggers."  She lowered her hands slowly and cautiously, sure not to make any sudden moves.  "Here we. . " as soon as her hands found their grips on the handle of each blade, the corners of her mouth curled slightly upwards, "go." As soon as the last word was out of her mouth, she flung the daggers at the man pointing his spear at Princess, pegging him square in the chest and right arm.  Before he hit the ground, Princess lunged at the man in the center, knocking him to the ground, pinning him as she clamped down on his throat with her fangs.  While this was happening and the third man was trying to figure out what kind of violence to respond with, Erin dropped and rolled over to her bow, grabbing it and an arrow as she did so.  By the time the third man looked back at her she had her aim trained squarely on his head.
"Uh uh uh. Make the wrong move and things will get a lot worse for you and your friends." She looked to the man in the center struggling to get the wolf off of him.  "That includes you, I suggest you quit resisting.  You keep up like that and Princess will have to bite down harder just to keep a grip, and I don't think you want that.  Bleeding aint too fun, just ask your friend over there."  The tall man dropped his spear and the leader quit struggling.
"She's right.  This 'urts real goddamn bad.  Stupid bitch."  The man on the left clutched at the daggers as he writhed in pain.
"Watch your mouth or I'll let Princess have a second crack at you when I'm done." Erin walked over and kicked some dirt on to the man and spat in his face, all while keeping the bow tracked on the man still standing. "Now normally this would be the part where I get the authority's involved, but I'm kind of in a rush.  So here's the offer you get instead.  When I pull the daggers out of your man here, he's gonna start losing a lot more blood.  If the lot of you get a move on, you should be able to get to town before he dies of blood loss.  And then if I ever catch wind of any of you three pulling shit like this ever again, I aim for the heart next time.  And Princess has got all of your scents so if you try anything funny, we'll literally smell you coming a mile away.  Understood?"
"Ye-yeah." The leader gargled through a partially strangled throat.
"Good." Erin planted a foot on the chest of the scrawny man, and grabbed her daggers.  He screamed as she gave them  each a small twist each before ripping them out.  Erin whistled and Princess released her grip and strode back beside her partner.  "Now get out of here. And remember, no funny business."
"Yes ma'am."  The two unwounded men rushed over to their comrade, picked him up, and began hauling him back to town.  She watched them for a minute to make sure they weren't up to something.  Once they were out of ear shot, she let out a big exhale and untensed.
"Oh my fucking god, that was intense.  I can't believe that worked.  I guess it is true what they say about practice.  And then the way I cracked out those quips.  DAMN!  You'd think I'd done that before.  Oh man, I need to take a minute to relax.  Breathe.  And pick up all these goddamn arrows.  Come on Princess."  Erin looked over to see Princess scowling at her.  "Oh of course, you were great too.  The way you acted like everything was cool right up until the moment you attacked, that was phenomenal.  And you nailed the hand signals perfectly, you were amazing. . .   What?  I said you were great, why are you still looking at my like that. . .  WHAT?  Look, I wasn't lying, he should make it back to town alive.  Assuming they staunch his wounds.  Oh, and how is it my fault if they don't know proper wound dressing.  That's basic survival.  Like knowing what is bad to eat.  I'm sure they'll figure it out. Or run fast enough.  Maybe they'll get lucky and run in to a cleric."  Erin finished picking up the last of her arrows and slung her quiver back over her shoulder and then doing the same on the opposite shoulder with her bow.
"Come on, we got places to be."  Erin took off down the trail.  Princess sat for a minute before huffing loudly and following after her.  "Ya know Princess, if you're gonna be an adventurer, you're gonna have to get used to a little blood loss.  It's kind of a big deal in this line of work.  Now hurry up.  It's midday, I wanna find these guys so we can eat."  Princess obliged and picked up the pace.  Before long the tracks left the road and in to a field.  But even with out the aid of mud and dirt, the trail of trampled grass was easy enough to follow, and before long they were at a forest.  
"Okay Princess, keep quiet.  My instinct tells me we're close.  Be on guard, who knows what's in here."  Erin immediately fell in to her hunting stance, low and quiet, with bow and arrow at the ready.  Princess broke off by about 15 feet and began the approach as well.  The trail was easier than ever to follow, not only was the disruption to the ground cover massive, but their were also trees with freshly broken branches at 10 feet off the ground.  She was starting to paint a picture as to just how gargantuan this individual was.  Suddenly her attention was attracted by the sound of  three scratches.  Erin looked over to see Princess's ears were perked up with her gaze locked on a point in the distance.  From where she stood, she couldn't make anything out in the distance, so she climbed up a nearby tree leaping from treetop to treetop trying to get closer. After about 30 feet she could hear the sound of someone humming, and just barely visible from her vantage point was a clearing in the exact direction that the sound was coming from and it just so happened to be also be the direction Princess's vision was focused. She had finally found them.  Now it was time to make an entrance. She looked down to Princess and flashed a series of signals and smiled.  Time to go to work.
Volfram often liked to hum as he did busy work.  It was something his mother always did and it made things more pleasant.  Today, the busy work was polishing his hand axes.  He didn't break them out too often, preferring to rely on his constant companion, Morganna, a large double headed greataxe.   The humming, while serene and relaxing to him, often had the unfortunate side effect of putting people to sleep as it had done to Loramir once again, whose head lay drooling on the table.  Volgram was reflecting wistfully upon his childhood, when the noise of rustling leaves to the north caught his attention.  But before he could get up to investigate he heard another sound, a branch snapping, this time to the south.  He looked over to his companion to see him still sound asleep, so he shook him violently by the shoulder.  "Loramir, I think we got company.  And I don't like the sound of it."
Loramir rubbed his bleary eyes and blinked his way back to consciousness.  "Oh, do we finally have applicants," he mumbled groggily.
"I don't think so. Coming from multiple sides, both of our flanks, might be an ambush." Volfram hissed in a whisper
"Don't you think that's a little unlikely?"
"With how many people you piss off, I'm shocked you don't think it is likely."
"Fair point.  Okay then, I guess I'll take left and you take right.  Honestly, you better hope half-assing this is enough, cause that's about all the ass I've got to give right now."
"Just shut up and pretend like you know how to take something seriously for once." Loramir grumbled and pulled out a pair of blades and crept forward when suddenly they both heard the sound of something scratching against wood somewhere behind them, to the East.  Volfram's hand reached for Morganna as he started to make his way toward it as Loramir followed suit, when suddenly the sound of a bowstring releasing made him spin around.  A woman, whom he could swear was definitely not there a minute ago, was now standing in the clearing on the other side of the table.
"Hello my name is Erin."  He was confused by this, but he was also confused by the sound of an arrow releasing but no sound of an arrow impact.  He noticed she was was looking way up, far above his head so he followed his gaze with hers, to see the arrow high up in the air and beginning to arc back towards the ground with a trajectory of roughly where he was standing now.  He took a few steps to the side and Loramir, not knowing what was going on,but knowing to trust Volfram's judgement did the same.  Moments before the arrow hit the ground, a grey blur of fur, ripped through the treeline charged across the clearing, leaped, catching the arrow in mid air, landed on the table before using the momentum to leap again in to Erin's outstretched arms.  "And this is Princess, and we'd like to join your team."  Princess snapped the arrow in her jaws before barking enthusiastically.  Erin set her down all while cooing at  her and rubbing her ears and telling her what a good girl she was.
Volfram immediately began clapping enthusiastically.  "You're in."
"What?  You can't just decide who gets to join on your own."
"She has a wolf, I like wolves, she's on the team."
"She hasn't even passed all the tests yet."
"Like what?"
"Well there's the applicable skills test, the trial by combat of course, then there is the talent portion."
"Well she found us, you said that was the first test, so she's already passed that."
Erin wasn't sure whether or not butting in was a good idea but she decided to do it anyway.  "If it's battle experience you want, there's a trio, well, maybe a duo, of bandits back in Innastorm who can tell you all about my combat prowess.  As for applicable skills, I am a master of tracking and survival skills.  I have spent considerable time in the wilds with little to no tools on hand, and as you can see I pack light.  Plus I can do neat things with vines, see?"  She lunged her hand forward and a whip shot out and lashed around a table sitting on the table, and with a flick she pulled it back to her and took a bite. "Oh gross, its all mealy"
"Yeah, it's not very good.  That is why I did not finish it and it was just sitting there."
"See Loramir, she's passed all the tests, and plus that intro was rad.  She's in."
"Well what about the evening wear?"
Erin tossed back her cloak and struck a power pose.  "What you've got a problem with my armor?"
"No actually.  It's honestly quite lovely.  But there is still the personality quiz."
"She likes wolves. Anyone who likes wolves is good people.  She's in."
"Ugh fine, but--"
Suddenly the sound of hissing began to fill the clearing.  Smoke began to pour out of the ground and fill the clearing.  Erin raised her cloak to shield her mouth from the fumes as she tried to fan them away with her other hand.  Loramir and Volfram did the same.  After a moment, when the clearing was so full of smoke that no one could see anyone or anything else, a loud baritone voice rang out.
"When men tell tales of the awesome might of the hero who struck down the Demon Bull of Gorgos with a mighty hammer blow while impaled upon its horn, it is I of whom they speak.  When women gossip of the great warrior who impaled the black heart of Dread Lord Viscont, it my name upon their lips.  When children dream of growing up to be as brave as the one who climbed in to the fearsome maw of the massive Corpse Lion of Panzor to remove the gem giving it life, it is my face in their minds.  I have climbed insurmountable heights and crashed through impenetrable barriers, nothing on this Earth can stand in my way. Yes it is I, Jess, the Mighty!"  Just as his monologue finished, the smoke cleared enough for the trio to make out a scarred Muridian standing atop a pile of skulls on the opposite end of the clearing, arms crossed, red cape billowing in a nonexistent breeze.
Volfram took a moment to parse what had just happened and found it hard to reconcile the disparity between what he had heard and seen up until this point. "He's insane."
"He's batshit crazy." Lorarmir's eyes sparkled with wonder
"Yeah, I know, that's what I just said."
"You don't get it. He's our fourth B.  Brains, beauty, brawn, and batshit crazy.  He's perfect."
"You can't just decide he's part of the team."
"You got to pick wolf girl, so I'm picking the rat with a death wish."
"Ugh fine, but when this one dies, can we please pick a more sensible choice next time."
"Oh no buddy boy, he's not dying.  Didn't you hear his speech, he's got to be goddamned invincible."
"Don't you think that maybe he might be lying"
Loramir recoiled in mock indignation.  "Oh come now sir, don't be ridiculous.  Just look at the bones.  Look at the scars."  He gestured frantically towards the small figure, still poised dramatically atop his pile of skulls, but looking more and more nervous and anxious by the second.
"Anyone can collect skulls.  Poets and doctors collect skulls.  And those scars could come from anywhere.  And what about the tests?"
"Well we don't need to worry about the trial by combat.  Obviously.  So let's see, practical skills."  Loramir turned to face the still posed Muridian.  "Hey you, skull boy.  How did you find us?"
Jess relaxed and climbed down from his skull mound.  "Oh that was easy.  I just snuck up one of the guard towers and from there I was able to spot the clearing and the glint of your friend's axes as he polished them.  I figured it was as likely a spot as any so I came here."
Loramir turned back to "See, sneaking and spying, that's two things.  You know how many times a lookout would have saved our asses.  And you know how much I want a sneaking around partner."
Volfram sighed, "Well what about the new girl.  She got the drop on us."
"Well you and I both know that's hardly a noteworthy feat.  But sneaking past the town guard and climbing a watchtower in broad daylight, that takes skill."
"Fine, but you're paying for the funeral."
"Deal."
Jess, who had stayed quiet for most of this spoke up nervously, "You know I can hear you guys right.  I have no intentions of dying."
"Yeah, yeah no one does but it tends to happen regardless.  Well Loramir, if he's our batshit, I guess that makes Erin our brains.  What say you woman, think you can handle it?"
Erin grinned smugly. "Yeah, I think I can handle it."
Journal Day 1
I can't believe it!  I just made it to Innastorm and I'm already an adventurer with a real party and everything.  People back home said I'd never cut it but I really did it.  It was a crazy day.  I met a strange Muridian named Jess who claims to be a great hero.  Time will tell if any of his claims hold up.  I have my doubts, but I will say one thing, he sure knows how to entertain a room.  Three drinks in and he had the whole bar wrapped up in his stories of adventure, conquest, and derring do.  I might trust him as far as I can throw him, which is probably farther than most to be fair, but he can sure spin a yarn, I'll tell you that much.  Hell I even felt a little inspired.  Inspired enough to drink Loramir under the table. ��That's the name of one of the guys I joined.  He's an ass and an elf, in that order.  But not like the bad kind of ass, just the 'roll your eyes' kind.  The other guy is named Volfram.  He's really big and scary looking, but he's not so bad. Doesn't talk a lot.  Or at least, he doesn't talk to me a lot.  Not yet at least.  I'll crack that egg.  But that's all for tonight. Tomorrow we're gonna take on our first quest.  I'm really excited.
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