#Alastor to everyone else in the hotel - you fucking donkey
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A little bug and the ultimate bad boy!
#alastor#niffty#Hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#alastor fanart#niffty fanart#my art#they’re so cute#Alastor to Niffty - oh dear oh dear gorgeous#Alastor to everyone else in the hotel - you fucking donkey#1k
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Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1) Chapter Three
Platonic! Hazbin Hotel x Teen! Reader
Father Figure! Alastor x Teen! Reader
Chapter Three: Controlling Television
Summary: The Hotel learns about the extermination coming early, and (Y/N) meets someone new.
“Okay, so the extermination is coming in six months instead of a year,” said Charlie, pacing. “No big deal. Just a little setback. Nothing we can’t handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls?” She laughed nervously, the breakdown beginning. “Am I right? And next time, when they cut the time in half again and again, we’ll just handle it, right?”
Vaggie caught Charlie by the shoulders. “Yes. We will.” She attempted to steady her girlfriend.
“Oh, please, ya had less of a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit,” said Angel. “And now….Ain’t no silver lining this time toots.”
“Sure there is,” said Charlie. “We just have to look a little harder for it.”
“Seems pretty bleak to me,” said (Y/N). “I don’t know much about it, but it feels like the angels get to do whatever they want and fuck us over.”
Angel nodded, and Charlie deflated. “The rest of Hell agrees with them. They’re going nuts.” Angel grimaced as he read through reactions on his phone. “People are freaking out about the news.” He held up his phone. “Look at what’s happening in the Doomsday District.”
The land was on fire, and Charlie frowned as a notification popped up.
“Er, what is a ‘donkey show?’ ” she asked.
“Ah! Heh, nothing!” said Angel, snatching his phone back. “My boss, Val, is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone’s losing their shit.”
“Yeah, that’s true. Sinners are desperate,” said Vaggie. “Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the next extermination?” She smiled at Charlie.
“This is the perfect time to recruit more sinners for the hotel!” said Charlie excitedly.
“People will do everything except for try to change themselves,” said (Y/N), dubious of that idea. “If exterminations have been going on for…forever, I don’t really know if this will change anything yet. You’d have to be really convincing.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s why I have to go out and gather people myself!” said Charlie. “It’s not people are going to show up on our doorstep.”
Boom!
The wall exploded (again).
“Show yourself, Alastor!” cried a familiarly snakelike and dramatic voice. It was Sir Pentious from the previous incident, back to get his ass beat again (because what else was going to happen to him? Alastor was way more powerful than him). “Come and face—”
“Will you shut up?!” snapped (Y/N), leaning their head out the hole. “We’re trying to handle some problems in here!”
Pentious deflated in disappointment as the teenager glared at him, completed unintimidated. “I’m not here for you! I’m here for Alastor!”
Hearing the commotion and always loving some entertainment, Alastor popped out of the shadows with a mug that said “Hello, Deer.” “Who are you?” he asked.
“Who am I?! Who am I!?” cried Pentious. “I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor, architect of destruction, villain extraordinaire!”
“Ooh, he’s a bad boy,” said Niffty, grinning.
“Huh, well, if all that’s true, you’d think I’d have heard of you,” said Alastor, grinning.
“I attacked you literally last week,” said Pentious.
Alastor tilted his head, clearly not remembering a thing.
“We’ve done battle like twenty times!” said Pentious.
“Well, you must have been really bad at this,” said Alastor.
“Silence! Now cower!” cried Pentious. “For when I’ve slain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal!”
(Y/N) looked at Vaggie. “Who are the Vees?”
“Velvette, Valentino, and Vox—three of the worst Overlords. Velvette deals in fashion and social media, Valentino runs Hell’s biggest porn studio, and Vox controls almost all technology,” said Vaggie. She crossed her arms. “Don’t get involved with them. They’re manipulative pieces of shit.”
“Definitely am not planning it,” said (Y/N). They didn’t want to get put under anyone’s thumb after their life.
“They’re nobody important,” said Alastor.
l
“You know, Angel isn’t the only one spending time at that ratty hotel with the devil’s princessa,” said Valentino.
“Oh, who else is there? Someone who owes you money?” asked Vox.
Valentino chuckled. “Someone who owes us much more than money. The Radio Demon is there.”
Vox’s screen sparked, and his nails dug into the desk. “What did you say?”
“You heard me,” said Valentino.
“Alastor came back, and he is with Lucifer’s daughter, and that wasn’t the first fucking thing you told me?!” snapped Vox.
“Hey, killing Alastor is your kink,” said Valentino, waving a hand.
Vox glared at the screens in the room, and one switched onto a recording on the hotel so he could glare at the gathering outside. Alastor, who kept glitching in the recording, was grinning and standing beside Lucifer’s daughter, her girlfriend, Angel, and a young demon with a rose motif.
l
“Oh, please, stop!” cried Pentious as his ship was once again torn apart by shadows while Alastor cackled in amusement.
“Um, Alastor? I think he’s had enough,” said Charlie.
“I don’t know, he came here asking for it,” said (Y/N), smiling brightly.
“Oh, yeah, he’s got a few more hits in ‘im,” snickered Angel.
Pentious fell out of his ship and landed on the ground.
“Thanks for another forgettable experience,” said Alastor with a wide grin.
“Thank…you…” groaned Pentious. “For letting your guard down!” His tail shot out, tore off a piece of Alastor’s coat, and retreated. Pentious laughed.
A large shadow loomed over him.
“Oh, shit.”
Green magic exploded from Alastor, and Pentious was sent flying out of the hotel’s airspace.
“Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor,” said Alastor, turning away from the flying snake without a care. “Best of luck, chums!”
“Wait, you’re leaving?” said Vaggie. “Alastor, we need your help. We need you to do your job.”
“We need a wall,” said Angel.
“Of course! Can’t let my new project fall into disrepair already! What would the papers say?” Alastor snapped his fingers, and shadow workers, like from the advertisement, popped up to help rebuild the wall. Satisfied, Alastor turned and walked away.
Angel grinned and approached the shadows. “Hey, sweet cheeks. What you doin’ later?”
“I’m out,” said (Y/N), turning away before they had to see Angel flirt more.
“Can you at least help us?” asked Vaggie, gesturing to the destroyed wall.
“…Do I look like I have experience building walls?” said (Y/N), frowning.
“You can buy us a new painting. Charlie likes having decorations, and one got destroyed by Sir Pentious,” said Vaggie.
(Y/N) considered. “Are you giving me money?”
“Yes,” said Vaggie.
“Ok, sure,” said (Y/N), shrugging.
“Right,” said Vaggie, pulling out cash. “And here, I’ll show you where to go.”
She pulled out her phone to show a map of the Pride ring. The last thing they needed was (Y/N) getting lost and getting into trouble. Actually, Charlie would probably be against sending (Y/N) out for an errand, but Vaggie had seen they were going a bit stir crazy from being at the hotel all the time, so the least she could do was give (Y/N) a short errand to run to one of the more civilized/reputable areas of Pride. And if there was any trouble, Vaggie would go into town and intercede with her spear.
l
(Y/N) hadn’t expected running an errand in Hell to go so smoothly. After every other person at the hotel complained or ran into some trouble (Angel: old customers, Vaggie and Charlie: haters of the hotel, Husk: people in general), (Y/N) had expected to have to stay on their toes. Instead, they had gone into the shop Vaggie asked them to, purchased a non-inappropriate painting, and headed out with enough change to buy themself something.
(Y/N) had seen a café on the way into town, and now the sweets were calling their name as they headed back. Seeing as they never got to treat themself in life, why not do so in death?
(Ironically, so far their death had been better and more filled with friendship than their life had been.)
(Y/N) walked through the streets, pausing only to make sure they had the right directions. Sure, they’d been fine so far, but they weren’t going to test their luck by going anywhere they weren’t supposed to.
(Y/N) passed by a group of demons staring at television screens in a store window, entranced. Curious, (Y/N) paused to glance at the screens.
They were displaying an advertisement for merchandise from the very store they were standing in. People were in a trance watching, and they all immediately rushed inside to purchase what they’d seen advertised.
(Y/N) frowned. Looking at the screens gave them a headache, so (Y/N) turned to walk away. They had a bad feeling about the store and technology—so missing from the hotel—and they weren’t going to ignore that feeling.
No sooner had (Y/N) decided to ignore the screens that one buzzed to life, and sparks jumped from the screen. (Y/N) froze as the sparks formed the body of a man with a TV for a head in front of them on the sidewalk, effectively blocking their path.
Well, shit, I don’t think I’ve successfully avoided trouble, thought (Y/N). It didn’t take a genius to realize this was Vox, who Vaggie had warned them about.
“No interest in any technology?” said Vox with a wide, electric grin.
“Nope.” (Y/N) kept their answer short and curt, trying to get out of the conversation.
“You’re one of the sinners staying at the princess’s hotel,” said Vox, eyes narrowing calculatingly. His smile widened. “I don’t believe you have a phone. Are you sure you don’t need one?” He held out his hand, and a phone was held in it. “Think of it as a welcome gift to Hell.”
“I’m not interested,” said (Y/N), stepping around Vox to attempt an escape from the encounter.
Vox turned immediately, still smiling widely. Apparently, it wasn’t going to be that easy to avoid him. “I’m just trying to support the hotel. Like the Radio Demon.” His smile glitched slightly.
Oh. So that’s what this was. Vox was just trying to get in Alastor’s hair and annoy him.
“Yeah, well, we’re okay,” said (Y/N), taking a step away.
“Are you sure?” One of Vox’s eyes pulsed with energy, and (Y/N)’s headache grew stronger.
“Yes,” said (Y/N) firmly.
“I think that you may want to reconsider,” said Vox, eye still swirling.
“I think I’m fine,” said (Y/N). “So just leave me alone.” They narrowed their eyes.
Vox’s screen sparked, and his eyes narrowed.
Danger, danger!
Sparks flew at (Y/N).
Bam!
A bramble of vines and thorns erupted from the ground and blocked the sparks. (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and Vox sparked.
“What the—”
“My, my, are you bothering one of my guests?”
A shadow loomed over Vox and (Y/N). Vox flinched and looked to see Alastor with a wide, threatening smile.
“Really, Vox, what terrible manners,” said Alastor.
“Radio Demon,” snapped Vox.
“Yes, precisely,” said Alastor. “So run along and leave my guests alone. Really, how unbecoming.” His grin sharpened. “Unless, of course, if you’d like to have another little competition.”
Vox glared, and his screen glitched. However, he wasn’t interested in going toe-to-toe with Alastor again after getting his entire network shut down for a few hours, so with a final angry glare, he dissolved into electricity and disappeared into the TVs he came from.
“Well, what a terrible way to end a day out,” tsked Alastor.
“Yeah,” said (Y/N), making a face.
Alastor looked at the briar sticking up from the ground. “And what might this be?”
(Y/N) stared at it. “It just kind of…appeared.”
Alastor raised an eyebrow. “When Vox threatened you?”
“Uh, yeah,” said (Y/N), touching the vine curiously. It flinched and disappeared back into the ground. “Huh.”
Alastor grinned. “How interesting.”
“What do you mean?” said (Y/N), cocking their head.
“That, my dear, is magic,” said Alastor. His grin had widened in amusement. “It seems you’re going to be an entertaining guest.”
“Oh, yay,” said (Y/N) sarcastically. “That’s exactly what I’m hoping to be.”
Alastor laughed and waved a hand. “Have no fear, have no fear. Why, the entertainment I’m looking for is you struggling with that magic.”
“Thanks,” said (Y/N), still deadpan. “I’ll make sure to practice in front of you so you can laugh.
Alastor grinned. “Why, thank you, dear! Perhaps I’ll even give you a few tips!”
(Y/N) looked at him, rolled their eyes, and shrugged. “Have fun.”
“Oh, I always do,” chirped Alastor. “Now, come, let’s return to the hotel. No point getting into more trouble, even if you’ve discovered magic.” He looked at them. “And I do intend to give you a few tips.”
“Wait, really?” said (Y/N), blinking in surprise.
“Of course. I can’t have my guests being helpless,” said Alastor, twirling his staff.
(Y/N) perked up. “Thanks, Alastor!”
He glanced at them, surprised at the boisterous honesty. He decided not to respond, and the pair walked back towards Hazbin Hotel in silence.
That was fine with (Y/N). They were contemplating finally having some power of their own for their own life.
l
“Oh, good, you made it back alright!” said Charlie. She smiled at (Y/N). “Vaggie told me she sent you out, and I was worried!”
“I didn’t mind going out. I’m going stir crazy here,” said (Y/N).
“And they have proven themself capable of keeping themself safe,” said Alastor with a grin.
Vaggie frowned. “Wait, did something happen?”
(Y/N) coughed. “You know how you told me to avoid the Vees?”
“Yeah?” said Vaggie, narrowing her eyes.
“Vox decided to pop out of a TV in front of me,” said (Y/N).
“What?!” cried Vaggie.
“Relax, they were fine,” said Alastor. He twirled his staff. “I interceded before anything could happen to them, and Vox’s sparks couldn’t even hurt them.” His grin widened. “They summoned magic of their own.”
“You did?” said Charlie excitedly.
(Y/N) nodded. “Apparently, yeah.”
“That’s awesome!” said Charlie encouragingly.
“Yes, it’s quite unusual,” said Alastor. “And I intend to teach them.”
Everyone froze and stared at Alastor.
“You what?” repeated Charlie, an awkward smile on her face.
“I will be teaching (Y/N) to use their magic. We can’t have them being helpless, now, can we?” Alastor still wore his signature grin, as mischievous as ever.
Oh shit, thought everyone. If there was one thing they knew, it was Alastor taking a liking to the teenager couldn’t be a good thing. It could only spell trouble and mischief.
And, unfortunately for them, (Y/N) wore an excited grin that promised all that trouble and more.
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#nature of the human soul#x reader#gn reader#nb reader#x gn reader#x nb reader#x teen!reader#x teen reader#found family#alastor x reader#teen reader#teen!reader#hazbin hotel x teen!reader#platonic hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x teen reader#platonic x reader#platonic#father figure#found family trope#alastor#alastor the radio demon#alastor x teen reader#alastor x teen!reader
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