"Pizarro started from nothing, rising to a life of conquest and glory. He toppled the Inca with an act of Odyssean cunning. After years of war, he went out in a blaze of glory, fighting off assassins even in his old age… is this not Bronze Age Mindset?

Is this not greatness?".

-Alaric the Barbarian.

Re reading heartbreak back and Caroline...is actually being reasonable. She's rightfully angry about Stefan cheating on her but knows how much the girls love him and isn't letting her anger cloud her judgement in order to run the school as well. Looking at it now, I was definitely wrong about her.

Well, part of it is that I didn't want Stefan to be able to just walk away from his old life and ride off in the sunset with Elena because he had obligations, and it always annoyed me about TVD that characters could just do things, there aren't adjustment periods or consequences, Stefan can show up and within a few days, Caroline leaves Alaric for him and the girls split time between them and Alaric and that isn't an issue. Elena goes from Stefan to Damon within a day and that actually doesn't cause as many issues as you'd think it would, etc. so he can't just leave the life he built with Caroline, which is going to cause tension but also, you're not wrong, Caroline isn't exactly acting out of a healthy mindset here. In some ways she's being more mature than Damon because well, that isn't hard to do, but at this point, she's also subconsciously holding onto hope and keeping Stefan close, which will only serve to hurt her.

Jo wouldn't have handled the twins being siphoners well I think she would have had issues with it showing through in small doses throughout their childhood if she lived she might even in a Misguided attempt to help them/deal with the issue encourage them to not siphon at all which would bring on all kinds of other problems not to mention the Gemini coven Prejudice mindset against siphoners wouldn't do them any favors and her history with siphoners with kai wouldn't help either I actually can see her getting angry whenever the twins siphoned even by accident with a overreaction after that she would start to separate herself somewhat from them and possibly even being neglectful at times withholding affection alaric of all people probably would be the better parent because he doesn't have the covens Influence on hating siphoners nor would he trust any opinions or ideas they had when it came to his children I honestly think in a messed up way if twins showed signs of issues with withholding siphoning jo would go to the coven to have a prison world set up if she didn't go to kai for advice at all

Now that I’ve screamed enough about the episode, I really want to focus on Jed/Ben’s whole storyline through it😅

Starting with Jed and Finch in the beginning. Jed has stated multiple times how the pack comes before everything - a pretty responsible and honorable mindset for an Alpha who's supposed to be the pack's leader and protector. The second Jed realizes he might not be able to hold himself back from helping Ben and how that would impact the pack, he turns to the first person he trusts the most with them, Finch - bonus points we actually get more friendship content :') - because he knows she cares and that she would do whatever it took to protect them like he would. Not to mention he tells her to ignore him and focus on them - because he's made his choice and he knows there's a chance he won't come out alive and he sure as hell wouldn't let the pack pay the same price. He makes sure the pack is safe and cared for above everything else.

Did he have to die? No because for god's sake, Alaric should have handled that better.

Did it make for great angst? Yes. Yes, it did.

(And tbh this is the tvdu if you haven't died at least once are you even part of it?)

Just the fact that Ben was probably reliving Ashur's death, once again too late and not able to do anything and then turning against his father, about to go up against him even though he's mortal and has no chance? Wow.

But then the payoff... When I tell you I couldn't keep still when I saw Ben in the end because I knew the reunion was coming and I knew it was going to be good...

Also, pointing out the little fact that Ben was over there helping the werewolves probably because he knew that's what Jed would have wanted...

And just the hug, the kiss, the I thought I lost you, the talk about not wasting their second chance... I am dying.

All I need is a proper I love you in the last episode and I'm good to go😅

✧.* { JENNY BOYD & SHE/HER & CISFEMALE & 18/50 } is that ( ELIZABETH ‘LIZZIE’ SALTZMAN )? I’ve seen them hanging around town here and there, I’ve heard they can be pretty INSECURE. How typical for a HERETIC. I guess they must rely on their FIERCE side shining through. She is the DAUGHTER of JO, ALARIC & CAROLINE.

B A S I C S

Name: Elizabeth 'Lizzie' Jenna Saltzman

Age: 18/50

Species: Born siphon - turned heretic

Affiliation: Gemini Coven

Sexuality: Bisexual

A B O U T

You can find her early life/canon life here.

Turning into a heretic has been the best thing for Lizzie. Though the circumstance of her change wasn't the best, she really feels like everything fell into place.

Though she still has her moments, she's not as insecure and fragile as she used to be. She's had a lot of personal growth.

She's very protective of her friends and her family - will go to the ends of the Earth for them.

While she's had a lot of personal growth, letting go of control is still hard for her.

She's very organized and likes to have things planned out ahead of time, she gets a little anxious when something isn't planned, or things go off the planned path.

When things started to settle down after the earthquake and the university was built, Lizzie decided to further her education. She was unsure of what it was she wanted to do with her future, but with the options limited since the barrier was up - Lizzie got her business degree with the intentions of an event planning company in mind.

She graduated college with a masters degree and a business degree.

While Lizzie will always have a love for Mystic Falls, her plan was to not be here forever. She wanted to get out and see the world.

She's a pretty big advocate for taking the barrier down. She doesn't like "hiding" from the fight instead of facing it. She's very much in the mindset of "we defeated a God, we can defeat whatever else." Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing.

Though they're not related, Lizzie and Hope have continued to become extremely close that they don't even call each other best friends anymore, they call each other sisters.

Lizzie is bisexual, and came out about it very casually in conversation.

Over the years, Lizzie has had several exes and hookups but has not started a family of her own.

Recently, she was casually seeing Romeo until he up and disappeared. She has had many thoughts on that and only really ever opened up to Hope about them over some wine and a girls night.

While she loves her family, she also loves her space. After college, Lizzie acquired a cute little apartment at the Mystic Grill Apartments.

She has put her business degree to action and has her own event planning company - Mystical Events only name I can think of right now lol . Her company is very often used for towns events.

Josie, Lizzie, Kai and the darkness

Josie and Lizzie

Through the series the twins had a chance for mutual growth and make serious steps in understanding each other. However their relationship improved is far from perfect. With an absent mother and an alcoholic neglecting father. Bringing Josie to a position feeling responsible to alleviate Lizzie’s intense outbursts. Primary carrying the burden of essentially taking care of her mentally ill sister. Which proves damaging for a number of factors. Considering the fragile of their age she was unable to understand the extent of Bipolar disorder. Resulting in Lizzie not getting proper help and her own sense of self starting to decay. Suppressing her own needs and emotions in order to aid her sister.Josie clinged to it, the only way she used to be seen, taking care of others. In order to pravail her indenity.Something that Lizzie exploited both unconsciously and deliberately.

Learning about the merge and Penelope leaving caused a major drift in their relationship. Lizzie is at loss feeling completely estranged from her sister for first time. She befriends Hope and adapts more easily. Working hard on herself trying to mend things. Hope was the reality check she needed. Yet it wasn't enough to close the gap between them. There was so much resentment and unresolved feelings. Partly because Josie didn't open up choosing to deflect, too accustomed in Lizzie not listening. Falling back in old habits, they talk about it but not really. It's superficial. Outreaching both Josie and the progress Lizzie made. It isn't one separate thing. It's their whole relationship that needs recalculation. All her life plans alighted with Lizzie. Only to learn later on that whatever choice she made lead to this horrific event. Her self preservation arises and is so alien and forgein to her that she creates an outlet for it (dark Josie).

Josie, Alaric and Kai

How more appealing the narrative could be If only took a different route. One that would explain her relationship with Alaric and his odd treatment of her.Whatever half-resemblance of family tie they maintain it's due to her own efforts. The show makes it apparent that she resembles Jo the woman Alaric loved dearly but she isn't the only one who Josie looks alike. He can't bear watching Kai's features intertwined with his wife's heartwarming smile. The twins being unaware of why and how their uncle killed their biological mom. Both Alaric and Caroline are inclined to discuss it, contributing in the already toxic environment.

Throughout their entire childhood a mystery envelops something so grotesque and terrifying too close to Josie for comfort . Shaping certain parts and aspects of herself. Interprerating her dissociation for sociopathy. Both being coping mechanisms that develops in childhood due to severe abuse or neglect. Explaining the role of martyr that she so eagerly takes on, projecting inwards all her Father's treatment. Being too invested in justifying his actions. Above all she wants to do good and wants desperately to be loved. She still lifts the curse without remembering Hope. Seeking comfort in the most unusual places. Jade who hurt her family, Hope who could never reciprocate her feelings.Even her relationship with Landon was crossed over.

The loss of stakes

Even though I enjoyed them, their interactions were dull at best, with no depth in them. So much potential was lost. Lizzie, with all her wit and sharp remarks, would have been more suitable for these scenes. It would make them far more entertaining. Now picture this: Josie confronts Kai with a certain mindset. A new kind of fear that she's only known since she came to the prison world emerged. A more intimate,dawning horror settled against her bones, recognizing prominent parts of herself in him and bringing her to the harrowing realization that she doesn't hate them. According to her father, she ough to revile every part of Kai. When that doesn't happen, it's terrifying. Instead, josie is partnering up with him, defying her father and forging a queer kinship with her uncle, confirming all her insidious fears. Fundamentally, proving what and who she is can't be good, meaning her reasoning can't be trusted. While what she views as her darkest inclinations in reality are emotions like anger, jealousy, or her instinct for self-preservation, accepting them requires a certain level of awareness and a stable sense of self she isn't accustomed to. This could manifest as the breaking point, ultimately driving her to dark magic. 

my nose affirmations

my nose is humpless

my nose bridge is very low

my nose is very ski sloped

my nose tip is very upturned

my alar bare is the smallest

you ca not see my nostrils

my side profile is popular online

my side profile is perfect

my nose is very feminine

i have cindy kimberly’s side profile excatly

my nose from the side is JUST like cindy K

i’ll forever be like that

regardless of everything i have my results in less than 3 days and they are permanent, i don’t need subliminals or affirmations

my mindset is perfect, i don’t need to stress, i know i’ll forever have everything i want

i’m a master manifestor, i always manifest my ideal thoughts

if i say something IT HAPPENS

people compliment my nose from the side

im kicking the door down for 🍋🍐and 💙 for the diric lore

oh god Diric lore from the jumbo asks oh boy oh BOY -|

🍋 Does your OC act petty and jealous easily? What sort of things make them feel like this and do they experience guilt for getting so worked up? How do they deal with these emotions when they get them? If your OC doesn’t feel like this often, why not? Okay SO. We know the answer to the first is relatively yes - the why is a bit tricky. Diric's jealousy often derives from seeing someone he cares about (and we're talking like. Devoted levels of caring, like to the level of only-missing-a-ring-and-vows, which is. a problem for him.) interacting with someone else Dir probably doesn't know as well or doesn't feel secure in himself to be around - and getting on with equal or greater ease that Dir usually feels when interacting with the person he's given his heart to. This is why he had to have a couple clarifying talks with Alar when Alar made his initial arrival because man did Alar rub Diric wrong those first few weeks ^^; To be honest if they talked some more, especially because Alar is the last of three party members with direct divine communication he hasn't talked to about his therapy, I think Diric would find a lot of respect and admiration for Alar. Probably he wouldn't reach the same levels of devoted but Diric would be more in line with figuring out maneuvers with Alar in mind like he has with Maahes. Diric absolutely has to be called out on his jealousy if it's spotted; otherwise he's going to sit on it and end up saying something really stupid as his invasive thoughts start going off. He'd be more guilty about what's said in that case, but not over the feelings that triggered the outburst. With his therapy stint, another thing he gets to work on is not getting jealous in general - doesn't help that he and Mio are still figuring out how to patch things up and Diric still has a severe case of heartbreak to parse through - which is part of why Diric still has self-isolating moments at present and also giving Maahes any space he might need (partly in the hopes Mio would come to him if he needed to vent - though overhearing Mio opening up to the others somewhat, while a good healthy move for Mio that Dir does, in his psyche, understand, makes Dir question exactly how much Mio does trust him - look, invasive thought spiral ay). To be honest Dir should not be self-isolating. Someone please just sit next to him.

🍐 What is your OC’s mentality? Are they overall positive? Negative? A bit of both? Describe their thought patterns and reasoning behind their choice making! Motive number one for any choice Diric makes: does this help me better protect those I care about? Protecting others is the focus of his mindset, period. To Diric's mind, if he can't protect the people he loves - even if those people are more than capable of protecting themselves! - that's a failure on himself. Combat encounters where he lags behind the others and is either put in danger or unable to get in a swipe before the party wipes out the enemy? He's failed. Trying to advise or be a listening ear but getting chided for doing that? He's failed. Venting his thoughts or trying to explain the weird broken bits of his brain and not feeling like he's been understood? Failed. It's very negative, not healthy, and why one part of his new promises to Bahamut includes the caveat of not at the expense of myself when it comes to extending himself protectively. Usually, motive two is the more selfish one: can I become stronger doing this? It was this motivation that spurred him into Blackthorn and then the Underdark. If Diric could look at Blackthorn and say 'no, being there again wouldn't help me or anyone', he wouldn't have pressed going. But because it put to rest some of his issues and he was able to grow personally and protect the party, overall Diric's choice was always going to be yes, return to Blackthorn. Even if he hated every second of it. But he'll refuse to go back unless Aislinn herself asks for him.

💙 What did your OC want to be when they grew up and why? Did they have any lifelong dreams or ambitions they never got to work on or are they currently working to achieve this dream? Has their life taken a very unexpected turn and put all these plans on hold for a while or have they given up on any dreams? This poor little boy all alone in his room surrounded by toy weapons and the equivalent of comic books and action figures only ever had one dream: to be important to someone and be recognized for himself. All he could dream of was being a soldier like Malarnur Duskblade and one day being strong enough to fight alongside him. Obviously Dir did get his wish of becoming a soldier, but when you're put in the unit of social outcasts and expected to die...yeah. Add on completely wrecking your first command operation and there was no way Diric was ever going to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with his childhood hero. Which came true for the most part since Diric killed the pit fiend possessing said childhood hero! But I think by that point he didn't...want the hero's celebration he'd once dreamed about. Which is part of why he doesn't want to ever go back to Blackthorn, even with now being fully Drow. He was there as an outsider, not as someone that earned his place. I think part of Diric still has that dream of mattering to someone; it's why he devoted himself so much to Mio, why part of him is so certain he'll find somewhere that wants him. Because if he knows the where, the who should come naturally. But if he can't find the where or the who, that could break Diric entirely. This little boy's dream is all he really has left holding his heart together.

That morning upon Samhain Eve, when Alaric awoke, he would be greeted by a cacophony of sounds and chatter outside the guest room the Archmage so graciously provided to him. Dokkalfar were outside, moving through the corridors, speaking in their equally rough and poetic language, giggling, snickering, sounding like they were pushing and shoving eachother. Upon exiting the guest room, Alaric was greeted by a gaggle of giggling, half naked Dokkalfar, who were dressed in flamboyant costumes of feathers and scales and bone and precious gems, and they were covered in half-finished florescent sigils littered across their nude skin. It looked like they were chasing eachother with the brushes laden with said colorful, glowing paint. The moment they noticed Alaric staring at them, sleepy and confused, they all screamed and shrieked with laughter in chaotic unison and ran back down the hall like a bunch of crazy beasts unleashed upon the usually prim and proper domain of the Summer Unseelie. Slowly, but surely, Vali shuffled his way over, looking at Alaric with wide, apologetic eyes. He also was scantily clad, dressed flamboyantly in phoenix feathers and scales, and covered in paint. "Many apologies." He said curtly, not even bothering to explain what on Beatha was going on. He then ran off after the group. He still needed to finish being painted.

It was a universal truth, at least among the fae Alaric had encountered, that one did best when they put aside any expectations. It was a mindset he practiced to great success, and even still, he was unprepared for the scene he'd opened his door to. Far from being annoyed at the disturbance, Ala leaned in the doorway while his brain struggled to wake up, drinking in as much of the commotion as he could.

He was not entirely coherent for the initial group of Dokkalfar, registering colours and sound more than anything else. The arrival of his host heralded the return of Ala's senses. Vali was an impressive figure in both intellect and beauty, his regalia, even unfinished, only amplified that allure. Only belatedly did he register the apology, having been far too busy staring. Better that Vali had moved on, Gods knew Ala didnt want to be caught gaping like some awestruck mortal.

Here was everything his cold Court was not. It intimidated and thrilled him, meaning of course that he wanted to see more. After only a moments hesitation, being a little out of his depth in terms of local customs, Ala made up his mind to follow. Whatever was going on with the intricate body painting, he wanted a better look.

αℓαяι¢ тαg ∂υмρ

I really don’t get why no one is talking about the fact that they basically contradicted all of Hope’s words and actions throughout season 3 in 4x03, in regards to Landon. The writers really expect me to believe that Hope Mikaelson, the one who loves Landon more than anything, who fought for him all throughout season 3, who has been willing to do anything to save him and get him back, the one who said: whatever it takes to get Landon back, we’re un-dooming things, Landon would never want me to give up on him, for once in my life I’m not gonna sacrifice what I love, I’m not ready to let him go, I’m gonna find the real him, I’m not gonna stop until I’ve exhausted every possibility, moving on isn’t the answer finding Landon is, I’m not abandoning him again, if you disappeared tomorrow I’d do it all over again, screw fate, the one person I can’t bring myself to fight, I went through hell to find you and I would do it all over again if I needed to, etc. would then decide to sacrifice Landon, and make that decision within a few hours tops, with little to no struggle or resistance. I mean, wow. They really went against all of those statements in just one single episode (which I had also thought were intended to be foreshadowing as well, that we would see come full circle exactly right now with all that’s happening?). They had Hope go from all of that, and from being determined to get Malivore out of Landon, to deciding to sacrifice him in less than 24 hours. They couldn’t even build up to her making that decision gradually. At least they’ve had her contemplating becoming the tribrid since 3x15, and had been building up to that idea even before that. Yet they literally have her abruptly being willing to lose Landon in just one episode after having an entire season of her fighting against that. They had her shift her mindset regarding Landon completely. Incredible. I remember how some fans had worried they were gonna do this and throw all that they had established in season 3 out the window, but I had truly thought they never would... but that’s exactly what they did.

And this happened after making only one attempt to save Landon from Malivore, which could have been a success if only Malivore hadn’t known. So why not maybe, idk, try again?? I think one of the main issues with all of this is the lack of effort. Since when would Hope give in this easily without doing everything she could to try and save Landon? She wouldn’t even consider him dying before doing all she could do. I understand that they have to stop Malivore as quickly as possible now that he’s turning people into monsters. But why not just find Malivore first, like they’re gonna have to do anyway, which even Kaleb was able to do all on his own, and just shoot him and knock him out again like Alaric did in 3x16, and put him back in the cage? That would stop him from hurting more people. And Hope was able to pull the monster/Malivore mud out of Clarke just the day before, why can’t she do that with the people Malivore has transformed? And then go back to trying to find a way to get Malivore out of Landon? They literally just did this as a way to rush Hope into becoming the tribrid because they obviously ran out of time after wasting so much of season 3 on filler episodes.

But then for her to also suddenly decide to let go of Landon on top of becoming the tribrid? Which they clearly did as a way to force Hope to choose between Landon and other people again and to force her to let go of Landon for her own “growth” and as a way to further show her selflessness. Which I do not agree with at all. We already know how selfless Hope is. Is her choosing to become the tribrid not enough of a sacrifice already? Why add her sacrificing Landon on top of that? I will never understand why they feel the need to keep making Hope choose between Landon and others. This has been happening since season 2 and it never ends. We went from her feeling like she couldn’t choose Landon or her own happiness in season 2, to then deciding to finally choose Landon and her own happiness in season 3, and now (after her friends gaslighted her and guilt-tripped her for ever prioritizing Landon) we’re back to where we started. Nothing has changed. They’ve just pushed it even further with her having to sacrifice even more. It feels as if, because Klaus was a villain, Hope has to keep being tested and has to give up everything in order to prove that she’s better than her father (and her family), when she’s already proven it. And yet they keep doing this to her and Landon, which is sick. They want to make her as selfless as she can possibly be, at her own expense and Landon’s expense.

And if they’ve already done this for as long as they have, when will it end? It’s not as if they’re resolving this continuous dilemma. They just keep putting Hope in these situations, and they are all no-win situations for Hope. She will never be happy as long as they keep doing this to her. Because she can either save Landon and get blamed for not putting others first, possibly causing others to die and deal with that guilt, or she can save others and let Landon die, therefore losing him and her own happiness, while also dealing with that guilt too. She can’t win. And another thing is the fact that she shouldn’t have to make these choices because it shouldn’t even be necessary. This sort of thing wasn’t always happening on TVD/TO, especially not to just one character. Why? Because those characters actually worked together and there was a team effort and they didn’t just pick and choose all the time. One of the many differences between TVD/TO and Legacies is that in Legacies, the characters will sit around talking about who to save, while the TVD/TO characters would actively be working to figure out how to save everyone they could. They weren’t constantly making the choices that Hope is forced to make. Why the writers are obsessed with this “greater good” thing rather than just allowing the other characters to do their part and help Hope and have everyone making efforts to get everyone out alive is beyond me.

And this is also so damaging to both Hope and Landon. For Hope, she keeps being put in this horribly difficult position where she has to make these decisions and feels like she can never prioritize who she loves or her own happiness. And the show will preach about healthy relationships and having a balance between a romantic relationship and friendships, and being sure to be there for your friends, but it goes both ways. You can’t have Hope always prioritizing her friends and other people and never being allowed to prioritize Landon. That’s not healthy for their relationship either, look at what it’s done to both of them so far. If Hope hadn’t been discouraged from prioritizing Landon in the beginning, there’s a good chance none of this would be happening. And if they’re gonna keep creating these scenarios where Hope has to choose, why not at least have some sort of balance and make it so she doesn’t always have to choose or she can choose both? (Or even switch it up so Landon’s not involved every time?) Why not let her save everyone with the help of the other characters? Instead of always coming up with these circumstances that make it seem like saving Landon is wrong? Because how damaging is that to Landon as well? He’s been treated like he’s nothing his whole life, and by pushing this idea that Landon shouldn’t be saved, it’s like they’re trying to diminish his worth. And we know that Landon has felt like a burden in the past and like he’s not worth saving, and they’ve only reinforced this. And also by having no one else but Hope caring about saving Landon for the past season, and having everyone trying to prevent her from saving him.

So for them to go even further with all of this by having Hope willing to sacrifice Landon, to kill him, is terrible. And the whole way they went about it just makes it even worse, by having Hope just accept it and seem at peace with it. When Hope having to even consider killing Landon would be so painful and horrific for her. The idea of that is gut-wrenching, but they portrayed it as if it was all fine, which I found disturbing. They go and have her talk to Raf, as if she’s getting his blessing so that she can feel okay about sacrificing Landon. In which they had Raf acting the total opposite of himself, not caring about Landon, his brother, dying, and reassuring Hope that Landon would understand. And the way that they’re using the fact that Landon would be fine with Hope killing him to make it seem okay, when Landon has never hesitated to harm himself and has been suicidal in the past and is always willing to sacrifice himself, like... of course he’d think killing him is okay. But that does not make it okay. They should not be using Landon’s self-sacrificing tendencies to justify killing him. And the fact that all of this is not even being presented as a tragedy, but rather as something almost beautiful, by having this talk about Landon being able to find peace and using it to emphasize how selfless Hope is since she’s willing to sacrifice him? I’m sorry, but that’s disgusting. It feels like this entire situation is being romanticized, within the show, and I’ve seen fans romanticizing it too. Particularly the idea of Hope being willing to let Landon go (I guess we’ll forget about “don’t let me go. Never” too). I’ve even seen people comparing it to what Landon was willing to do for Hope in 3x01 and 4x01, by “letting go” of her so he could die to save her, and how similar he and Hope are in that way. And while I do agree that they’re similar, I don’t see how those situations are even comparable. Landon is willing to “let go” of Hope for her in order to save her life by sacrificing himself. The writers have now made Hope willing to let go of Landon in order to kill him. This is not the same thing. (I’m curious if people would have the same reaction if they suddenly had Landon willing to kill Hope.) They’re literally making it so Hope will have to murder the love of her life. Someone who grew up abused and unloved, who has experienced so much pain and death and has been suffering all this time, and they’re gonna have the only person left (in the real world) who cares about him, the person who loves him most, kill him? And for them to also make Hope do this, after she already lost her parents and her uncle, after she felt responsible for their deaths and had to deal with that guilt. And then felt like she’d never be happy again, and feared losing someone else she loved. Only to have Landon make her happy, who is now the love of her life, who she’s already had to lose how many times and has already felt the guilt of thinking that she killed him. And had been fighting for him and trying so hard to save him, and now they’re gonna have her actually kill him? And deal with more guilt and pain on top of losing him? Or, based off of last episode, they may even make her seem okay with it, which would be even worse? Maybe I’m just super sensitive or something, but this is all quite sick and twisted to me. It doesn’t sit right with me at all. And I don’t see how this is a serve for Handon either. But again, it’s like they are trying to make this all seem okay and are just doing this as a way to showcase Hope’s selflessness. And while I agree that Hope’s selflessness is amazing and a beautiful thing, the context of how they’re doing it, by making her take it this far, is too much and unnecessary. And makes it feel like Handon’s season 3 storyline, and all of Hope’s efforts to save Landon throughout season 3, were for nothing. I just... I can’t.

And I obviously don’t blame Hope’s character for this, I blame the writers. If they absolutely had to have Landon be sacrificed, they could have gone about it differently that still would’ve stayed true to Hope’s character. They could have actually had her doing more to try to save Landon before accepting him dying. Whatever happened to “screw fate”? I really thought both Hope and Landon were gonna be fighting fate, ideally together. Idk why they’ve not been focusing on Landon at all these last few episodes. They could’ve had him fighting Malivore from the inside while Hope fights him from the outside. They could’ve had Hope actually see Landon when she did the head dive, to find him and help him to fight, and they would both be the ones to defeat Malivore. Or, if Landon does have to die, they could at least have Hope fighting against that till the end and not wanting to do it. But ultimately having to, if there’s no other choice and Landon is asking her to. And actually show the pain of that decision for Hope, and her being affected by it. Rather than what they did last episode by not having her act affected at all, as if she’s not allowed to react or be affected by anything anymore and has to just get over all her fears and trauma and grief. But that’s what they chose to do, as well as ignore Landon, when we know he could be helping, and put it all on Hope and make her have to let go of Landon. So much for fighting fate, I guess. But who knows, maybe they’ll have Hope trying to find a way to save Landon again next episode, since they often seem unable to decide what narrative they wanna follow. Which would help this whole situation a lot, but I’m not gonna count on it. It just feels like I watched Hope fight for Landon and talk about how she would be there for him and save him, week after week over the course of several months, only for it to not amount to anything when it matters most. And it makes it feel pointless. It’s all just so disappointing.

BASICS

NAME: Damon Oliver Salvatore AGE: 29/29 SPECIES: Vampire PROFESSION: none.

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR: Brown EYES: Icy blue ATTIRE: button down shirts, jeans, v-neck shirts, casual shoes. HAIR STYLE: short and parted near the center, neat. TATTOOS: none. UNIQUE MARKINGS: none.

LIKES & DISLIKES

LIKES: being right, causing mischief, devious plots and plans, getting on stefan’s nerves, bourbon and whiskey, being a vampire, feeding on people, elena gilbert, being impulsive whether it’s good or bad, his camero, living his best life, finding loop holes in things he wants done, sounding cocky and sarcastic, revenge.  DISLIKES: lying and liars, stefan’s animal diet, people who turn against him and his ideas/plans, manipulation (though he tends to do that himself), the music stefan listens to, listening to others or reasoning with someone, being hot headed (at times). FAVORITE MUSICIAN/BAND: placebo FAVORITE ICE CREAM: rocky road FAVORITE COLOR: mossy green FAVORITE FOOD: chinese FAVORITE PLACE: europe FAVORITE MEMORY/MEMORIES: teaching stefan football, being with katherine and how lively and beautiful she was in 1864, spending time with his father after he came home from the service.

RELATIONSHIPS

MOTHER: LILLIAN SALVATORE (deceased) FATHER: GIUSEPPE SALVATORE (deceased) SIBLING(S): STEFAN SALVATORE (BROTHER) FRIENDS: KATHERINE PIERCE, ALARIC SALTZMAN, ELENA GILBERT, BONNIE BENNETT. ENEMIES: KATHERINE PIERCE (at times), NIKLAUS MIKAELSON (+ all the other originals). ROMANTIC STATUS: DATING ELENA GILBERT PAST ROMANCES: KATHERINE PIERCE. OTHER(S): NONE.

OTHER FACTS ABOUT DAMON

Damon Salvatore hadn’t always lived in the mindset where he feels everyone’s against him and his impulsive ideas/plans. When things don’t go his way, he can be problematic and chaotic, doing negative things in fashion to relieve his anger, despite how horrible his impulses are. In 1864, Damon returned from the service and was met with competition from Stefan to win Katherine’s heart. He was enamored with the vampire, willing to change for her as he had fallen in love with the woman. Damon has always stated and believed that Katherine could’ve been with him forever, despite her wanting to choose his brother.

Once he returned to Mystic Falls, he met Elena and did everything he possibly could to terrorize Stefan and make waves in  Mystic Falls. He wanted to ruin his brother’s life, as he felt revenge for Stefan helping him turn into a vampire years ago. At some point, Damon went undercover and found the founding families were aware of vampires and their return to his beloved hometown. While Damon can be incredibly reckless, he is also perceptive and smart; traits he picked up over the years. The older Salvatore began to see Elena as more than a target and wound up yearning for her company, despite her dating Stefan.

When his brother left with Klaus, Damon searched high and low. However, during that time, Elena and Damon got closer, surprising Damon as he was nearly always finding trouble and Elena didn’t like the negative traits about him. That was until she saw a softer side of the older Salvatore. Deep down, he wants to be a better man but he’s also scared of hurting once more. Sometimes he just needs a little love and affection, despite walking the earth over a century alone. While he’d had many hookups over the years, Elena was different and he genuinely wanted more of her. Now that Katherine’s around once more, Damon’s afraid of losing Elena if her doppelganger sees fit to sabotage his love life.

hope is not as in control of her ( physical ) aggression as she likes to believe she is. she tends to repress most of her emotions, filtering them into anger. she then takes her anger out on either the nearest bad guy, a punching bag, and sometimes other people at the salvatore school. on more than one occasion, her repressed emotions have come out in physical aggression, beyond her control. however, there are also moments where she is in complete control and still chooses this path. on more than one occasion, she has asked when she can start punching things, usually as a way of venting her own anger. 

in the musical ep, it’s really important to note that she was angry with landon. she took one look at him and then threw a dodgeball as hard as she could, with all of her super strength at jed, someone who could handle the impact unlike landon. this is a form of displaced aggression, and also a type of physical abuse. her main target wasn’t jed but landon and that’s not okay? i don’t think hope necessarily realizes this though. jed can take the hit, and she doesn’t know any other way to process or manage her grief or anger. it consumes her, and she feels like sparring, training, hitting is the only form of release. while there isn’t anything inherently wrong with this, as long as she’s in a controlled environment, but when other people are involved it can end in unintentional damage (ie: when her grief over her father is bottled up and she ends up accidentally knocking alaric & landon across the room). 

hope has a lot of bottled up trauma & grief that she needs to process and work through; otherwise it leads to negative reactions to stimuli that can further hurt herself and others. she frequently makes decisions for other people in an attempt to have control ( and the school also rests the weight of protection on her shoulders !! it feels like she’s the only one that can do anything because the school has this mindset that hope will always save the day and is their savior. so when hope fails or almost does or doesn’t show up, people either don’t know what to do or hold it against her. none of that is fair or okay either !! ). hope’s fear of losing people, though, does sometimes come out either in isolating herself and pulling away from the people that care, or making decisions for them and taking away their own autonomy ( she does this frequently to landon in an attempt to protect him as she sees fit ). hope is so afraid of losing people and has the weight of being the hero on her, that she oversteps and alienates the people she is closest to.

MORE MIO TARGETING: 54, 67 (if already answered feel free to pick a different party member), 74, 97

oh yes these are very targeted hm

54. How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

he's kind of eh on it, quite honestly. he grew up in an environment where everything was very much shared on a need to know basis, and then with Adolin that kind of continued. his rationale is if someone has a secret there's usually a reason why, and he's willing to withhold judgement until he's heard it.

67. What is your character the most envious about, regarding anyone in the party?

he doesn't really envy anyone else, everyone seems to have had some MAJOR shit happen that he wouldn't particularly trade off for, and he's led a relatively privileged life in comparison to most. he can handle the few demons that came with it.

if pushed, he might say he envies either Alar's sense of honour or Laz's direct approach to things -- both seem to fit this ideal persona that Mio still has in the back of his mind, that angelic being he thinks he should be in order to fulfil his father's wishes and, in a sense, Pelor's too.

74. What makes your character feel safe?

Mio doesn't often feel unsafe, given he's quite hard to hit in a fight and generally his strength outclasses most. and then outside of a fight, he's not completely lost in social situations either - he's pretty adaptable.

if he does seek safety, it's usually more in an emotional sense. he doesn't enjoy being vulnerable but he's learning to share things in a way that doesn't make him wildly uncomfortable, at least. so he's learned to feel safer around people he's confided in - Diric and Zin, mostly.

but physically, he would feel safest in a temple to Pelor or Sehanine. his faith drives him more than anything, particularly in the wake of his Oath. it's been the one constant in his life, so it's no surprise he holds onto it much stronger than anything else.

97. What is most important to your character: health, wealth, or happiness?

yeah i mean, he would have said wealth a few months ago, without a doubt. he was very much in the mindset of there's nothing you can't buy with it, no place you can't get to, no problem you can't solve.

happiness was never a priority, but i think it's starting to creep up the list. it's still not quite up there yet, and i think being unable to experience unfettered happiness for a consistent period of time really throws him off when it comes to prioritising it. he can be happy, that's not a problem, it's just the prolonged maintenance of it. so he might not see it as a priority.

health seems the most logical choice, and he has begun to lean into healing and offering aid more consistently - not as an afterthought but as an immediate reaction to the party getting hurt. he knows they rely on him and he relies on them, so keeping them alive how he can is definitely a priority. he still has a funny relationship with death and its trappings, so avoiding that by any means is gonna be good thing for Mio.

PRISON WORLD AU

After getting spat out of Malivore, Hope sticks around in Mystic Falls because the monsters are still spawning. She tells Alaric Saltzman of her true identity as Klaus and Hayley’s child in a moment of emotional weakness, and it ends up being a huge mistake.

Alaric quickly realizes that because of Malivore, he’s the only one who truly knows of Hope’s existence. Without his memories of Hope growing up at SBS, he is prejudiced by his hatred of Klaus and the Mikaelsons. He decides to get rid of a potential threat before it can spawn, and sends Hope to the prison world. 

While there, Hope meets Jade, Wendy, Diego, and Kai (and eventually Sebastian) and shenanigans ensue.

Hope is still very much dealing with the aftermath of her time in Malivore (especially considering my tweaks of how she’s more feral and aggressive / her concept of time is fucked). Being in the prison world only exacerbates the trauma she faced while in Malivore. (read my hc on her time in Malivore here to get a sense of her mindset)

potential plots + notes

That’s honestly about as far as I’ve gotten with this and am open to literally whatever. It should probably go without saying that this version of Hope is very anti-Alaric (moreso than my general portrayal of Alaric) and she will make that obvious. 

Would be very down to play out canon events of the twins and Alaric getting sent to the prison world by Alyssa and dealing with those funtimes, aka the twins not knowing who she is, Alaric sweating about it, and so forth.

Hope getting hunted down by the prison world gang because she’s fresh blood and only growing more aggressive and feral as a result.

Canon events not actually happening and Hope is stuck in the prison world for a long while until she makes the Malivore connection. Deciding whether or not to jump in would prompt more angst because while the prison world sucks, at least there’s light and other people in it. 

Isn’t it funny how we make rational excuses for being out of alignment?

We say, “Well, this ____ and that ____ happened, so it makes perfect sense for me to be feeling like this ____ and wanting to do this ____.”

Yet, to this day, I have never met a happy person who adheres to those excuses. In fact, each time I – or anyone else – decide to give in to “rational excuses” that justify feeling bad – it’s interesting that only further suffering is the result.

There is never a good enough reason for us to be out of alignment with peace. Sure, we can go there and make choices that dim our lights… and that is fine; there certainly is purpose for it and the contrast gives us lessons to learn… yet if we’re aware of what we are doing and we’re ready to let go of the suffering – then why go there at all? It’s like beating a dead horse. Been there, done that… so why do we keep repeating it?

Pain is going to happen; it’s inevitable in this human experience, yet it is often so brief. When we make those excuses, what happens is: we pick up that pain and begin to carry it with us into the next day… and the next day… into next week… maybe next month… and some of us even carry it for years or to our graves!

Forgive, let it go! It is NOT worth it! It is NEVER worth it. There is never a good enough reason for us to pick up that pain and carry it with us. There is never a good enough reason for us to be out of alignment with peace. Unforgiveness hurts you; it hurts others, so why even go there? Why even promote pain? Why say painful things to yourself or others? Why think pain? Just let it go!

Whenever I look back on painful things or feel pain today, I know it is my EGO that drives me to “go there.” The EGO likes to have the last word, it likes to feel superior, it likes to make others feel less than in hopes that it will make itself (me) feel better about my insecurities. Maybe if I hurt them enough, they will feel the pain I felt over what they did to me. It’s only fair! It’s never my fault; it’s always someone else’s. There is a twisted sense of pleasure I get from feeling this way, and my EGO eats it right up. YET! With awareness that continues to grow and expand each day, I choose to not feed my pain (EGO) or even go there. I still feel it at times, of course, so I simply acknowledge it and then release it.

I HAVE power and choice over my speech and actions. I do not need to ever “go there” again. It’s my choice; it’s your choice. So it’s about damn time we start realizing this. We are not victims of our impulses or emotions; we have the power to control them, and so it’s time to stop acting like we don’t. It’s time to relinquish the excuses."

Alaric Hutchinson, Living Peace: Essential Teachings for Enriching Life

hi anon

I'm assuming you sent this in order to show me how I can help myself and thank you.

Here's just a little bit about myself.

I make excuses a lot. And I know that.

And ha- i want to make an excuse about that, but I can't.

I have a fixed mindset and I know that. I've been trying to help myself but I'm not doing a very good job. There are things that I just know aren't "normal."

I procrastinate a lot. A lot a lot, to much. I'll sit for a couple hours on my phone and not realize it. I've spent hours on tumblr at a time. And I know that it's lazy... and I hate that- I hate that I can't do things which are so simple.

It's stupid that I can't do simple tasks or how I could rarely do homework when I was younger- and I only "studied" for finals which was more of for a total of- maybe an hour, over a couple weeks for each class?

And why??? I don't know. I don't know why. I can't make myself sit down to do something I don't want to do. Like I would rather stare at a wall for an hour then study for something. Despite me WANTING to get better in grades or other tasks.

I looked it up once and I believe I have executive dysfunction- when I brought it up to my mom and she said I didn't have it- that it was stupid because it's not a disorder- it's laziness.

So I finally put the idea away because none of my friends or family would think about it- just that I was lazy and I'm not saying I'm not. I know I am to an extent- but I thought I had found a reason why- but maybe it was just another excuse.

I do agree with the passage- we can control our emotions.

I'm just so sick of being fine.

No one wants to think I'm not.

I just want- maybe need- to be sad. Everyone think's I'm fine but I'm not. I'm not ok.

I think people have been taught that you better have reasons why you don't feel happy. We make excuses of why this happened or why that happened. I find it awful... Of course you can feel down, just not all the time. You need to be aware there's a light to the shadow.

Sometimes you need to be in the dark to remember what the light looks like. You need to grieve or cry or yell, emotions can't stay pent up forever. But once you've been in the shadows you can look at the world from a new perspective, and you can remember what it's like to smile, you can work your way out of the dark and into the light.

People have their ups and downs and I don't think we should be sorry for them. We can control how we feel but it's ok to let yourself have a break from holding it in.

It's ok to not be ok.