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#AUGH i am weak
malacandrax · 6 months
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'My star'
Anon request - Astarion is a fallen star come to earth, hunted for his beauty and rarity. But he meets the Bear Knight - Halsin of the Grove who protects him and the two fall in love 🐻⭐️.
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starredforlife · 2 months
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was gonna go to the gay bar but I inflicted psychological damage on myself by trying to do taxes and then listening to music from senior year of hs should I still go
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skrunksthatwunk · 10 months
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hey @bucketofcowboys i actually did it
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refs under the cut
so this is the post i saw
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and i looked up the caption to try and find a fuller version of it. this was the only one i could find:
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which as you can see, is uh. nearly comedically low res. but i'm a big girl and i love women so i plowed forward nonetheless
anyway none of that's very important i just thought it was silly. and so my journey concludes
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birdmenmanga · 2 years
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Pride Flag Iconography in BIRDMEN
There’s one motif scattered throughout official BIRDMEN illustrations that haunts me to no end, appearing in not just throwaway holiday illustrations, but also in chapter title pages and most significantly, on the final volume cover. It is, of course, the striped banners.
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Anyone with a passing familiarity with pride flags will recognize the horizontal, multi-colored, and evenly spaced stripes, present in nearly every iteration of the pride flag. Juxtaposed with the midair setting that these illustrations all take place in, the link to the rainbow flag, the most well-known of the pride flags, is undeniable.
What stands out to me especially is the tangibility of these banners. See the way Kamoda is grabbing it? The way it sags under the weight of the birdmen sitting on it? It’s easy to forget in the digital age, when so many pride flags have been turned into abstractions of color, that the hex codes are meant to represent a real, physical object.
Of course, there’s a reasonable in-universe explanation for this, see, every character has a color associated with them, and it’s just a simple and convenient way to show a particular group of characters. In the first two illustrations, for example, there are five stripes, one for each member of the Bird Club. In the final cover illustration, the stripes are meant to represent the Seven of Beginning.
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Even when I read through BIRDMEN for the first time, it struck me as peculiar that the Seven of Beginning didn’t quite follow the rainbow color scheme. Gayness aside, it’s a reasonable choice that creators have chosen over and over again. I mean, what’s with the indigo and the violet. They’re WAY too close. Why isn’t there a red. And turquoise, of all colors? What kind of weird and fucked up choice is that? And from the start Karasuma’s black stripe had already thrown a wrench in things. But then I realized… it’s not this pride flag. (Which has 6 stripes instead of 7, anyways.)
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It’s this one.
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If we include the prophet, Takayama, as the 8th stripe, taking the red slot, and replace Karasuma’s black stripe with the pink, it’s almost precisely the original, 8-striped Gilbert Baker pride flag. (If we’re going to be technical, the orange and yellow stripes are slightly off– Raphael and Malaika’s colors are more desaturated than the colors in the flag. These colors are actually closer to Robin and Arthur’s colors, which… hm… food for thought…)
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Well, alright. Depending on how strict or lax you are with the cutoffs, maybe these aren’t statistically significant enough to you. Maybe it really is a genuine, honest-to-god coincidence and Tanabe just happened to pick these colors, completely independently of the Gilbert Baker pride flag. The probability of this happening is pretty low, but certainly not impossible. If we factor in the meaning of the stripes, however, it reveals this to be either the greatest string of coincidences known to man… or the alternative— that Tanabe chose to correspond these colors with their respective characters on purpose.
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Let’s put aside the hot pink stripe for now. (There’s a lot to unpack there.) Takayama’s red stripe represents Life– fitting for a Birdman who can hear the voices of the dying despite not being a Linker. Even from the start, Takayama’s opening line forced our characters to confront death, and is a symbol for their will to live.
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Orange for Malaika is perhaps one of the clearest connections. Her ability as an Eraser is to lift the emotional burdens from the mind– to restore the mind to a state of peace. It’s pretty clear that her ability is one of healing.
Yellow for Raphael might be hard to argue– but fascinatingly enough, the motif of sunlight has followed Gabriel since her very first introduction. (It’s a motif that has also followed Arthur and Wang Guang Feng… interesting, hm?)
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Green, then, is Ende’s color— not only were they born in and raised by the Amazon jungle, they also claim to actually be the forest… “nature”, indeed.
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Saqr’s color is turquoise for magic and art, and looking at his Phantom Master ability, which conjures illusions from thin air, I’d say that’s a pretty reasonable match, whether you want to interpret those illusions as magic or art (really, I’d argue it’s both).
Serenity for Barbara might seem difficult to interpret— isn’t agitation, at its core, the absolute opposite of serenity? However, the indigo stripe doesn’t stand only for serenity, but also for harmony (included in the French and Chinese wikipedia pages, but not the English or Spanish one, for whatever reason)— and from that perspective, it’s much easier to see how her Agitator ability exemplifies the concept of “Harmony”. When Barbara was introduced, Adler says this about her ability, in contrast to Karasuma’s Bellwether capabilities:
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Not a controlling ability, but one which encourages teamwork and cooperation without coercion— an ability of harmony.
And finally, we have Eva as spirit. This might seem like a difficult and abstract concept to embody in the text, but thankfully BIRDMEN is chock-full of Christian references, and in particular, Ende, Takayama, and Eva are very clearly alluded to as the Holy Trinity— The Father, The Son, and finally, The Holy Spirit, respectively, tying Eva very closely to the concept of “Spirit”. (Personally I think the Holy Trinity deserves its own essay, which is why I’m not expanding on textual evidence. I’ve seen enough people nodding their heads about this interpretation so I don’t really feel the need to expand at the moment.)
Obviously I’m at the mercy of confirmation bias, but I feel like these are reasonably well-backed rationalizations, and while I think individually these arguments may not be the strongest, the fact that all of these arguments coexist is extremely telling.
So then we return to the pink stripe. The pink stripe, which is definitely not black.
Pulling our heads out of the text for a moment— let’s look at the work as a real and tangible thing in the world, shall we? BIRDMEN was a monthly publication in the Weekly Shonen Sunday, which is a relatively mainstream, family-friendly manga magazine. I think even if Tanabe intended to gun for the queer metaphor from the very beginning (which, for various reason, I do believe), even if color matching the Seven of Beginning with the Gilbert Baker pride flag was in her plans from the start, she still would have had to take out the pink stripe.
Like obviously the most immediate issue with assigning Karasuma the pink stripe is that he, uh… He’s just a middle schooler? Like he’s a kid. But even if we dodge the faux pas of associating a minor with sex by giving the sex stripe to an older character, like Eva, I still think it’s playing with fire, because I think the concept of sex itself is still very much a cultural taboo.
Hopefully everyone’s seen the post about how everything is pornographic and nothing is erotic, and the decoupling of sexiness and desire, because I can’t find it in my tumblr backlogs LMAO if anyone has that post on hand please give me a link <3 thanks <3
That is to say, for media that is aimed towards a shonen audience, you can have fanservice, you can have the occasional tit or ass as a treat, and maybe there are characters who have sex (Milan and Gabriel, for instance), but like. That’s in the gutters, in the fade to black, something done offscreen. We don’t show it, and more importantly, we don’t fucking talk about it. (This is meant to be more of a blanket statement, by the way. They did talk about it eventually in BIRDMEN and I liked what Miguel said. Good for Milan indeed…)
Not to mention that queer sex is, if possible, even more taboo than just, oh, you know. “Regular” sex. “Normal” sex. BIRDMEN is acutely aware of the persistent reputation of queer people as predators [insert The Battle Against the Press, Pt. 1 whenever I finally finish writing it], and the author is more than aware of just how easily things could be misconstrued if she chose to delve into this topic at length. Better to leave this unspoken than to make things worse.
Though I think there’s definitely something to be said about putting the sex stripe back on the pride flag, that even queer folks these days sometimes seem afraid of gay sex and sexuality, I view the deliberate exclusion of the pink stripe as a choice made out of safety. That in the absolute worst timeline where BIRDMEN is widely and negatively interpreted as a queer metaphor by the public, both the author and the magazine can, at the very least, duck out of the worst of the scrutiny by avoiding the, you know, the s-word altogether. That it’s actually fine if it doesn’t make things better for queer people, so long as it doesn’t make things worse.
So whatever. I can respect this choice. It’s a mainstream publication, neither Shogakukan nor Tanabe want to die on this hill; fine. But now comes the hard part of the essay, the part that made me drag my feet about this for ages: if Karasuma doesn’t represent sex, what exactly, then, is he meant to represent?
Well okay obviously the first thing I did was pore through all the major pride flags containing black stripes to see if I could find some type of connection there. Obviously I had to tread with caution because some of these flags are actually younger than BIRDMEN, but here’re some things that the color black stands for: genderlessness, asexuality, the sexuality spectrum, and people of color. Nothing in particular really jumps out at me— the sexuality spectrum, maybe, but the aromantic flag was created in 2014, so I’m inclined to disregard this particular piece of evidence. People of color? I mean I suppose he is, but the connection kind of falls short when he’s from such a homogenous society. I’m happy putting this down here just for the sake of saying I did look into it, and also that I personally feel like this is a dead end.
Because really, this approach feels like I’m really letting confirmation bias do the heavy lifting here, which in general is not good practice, so I’m also going to examine this question from a canon-centric point of view, rather than just a irl-queer-iconography point of view.
What I find interesting is how Karasuma defines his own color in New Gear:
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Here he’s assessing his color black based on the Hue-Saturation-Brightness model (HSB, better known as HSV model, for value instead of brightness). He says nothing about hue here, because regardless of what the hue is, it still doesn’t matter if the saturation and brightness are zero. In a sense, one could say that black encompasses all the different hues… which certainly ties into his role as the Everyman protagonist. This too deserves its own essay, but once again I feel like most of us can agree on this. In one sentence, his cynicism paired with how lost he feels is easy for many people to relate to.
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But more than the fact that he simply stands for all of us— I think he stands for the potential we all have to make a change. If there’s a little text caption next to Karasuma’s black stripe, I think it would say “empowerment”. It’s not the first time I’ve made this claim, but this whole story is a tale of empowerment for queer youth, in my opinion. That if we were willing to link hands and unite, we could achieve anything that our hearts dream of.
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pepprs · 1 year
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feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable
#purrs#i had like 3 massive breakdowns at the end of the week incl one on friday when i was off. and then i was like ok. i am literally weak and sh#shaking from all of that let me just pretend none of it happened. and i did!!! i pretended so well that i have felt basicslly normal all#weekend. i played a lot of video games and i even went out twice.. once to a chorus concert on campus (which is big bc being on campus ummmm#is deeply agitating to me rn ♥️) and today to home depot w my family to wander around the plants and hear the birds. i am suppressing things#and i know i am but if i don’t think about thst i feel so normal. except now it’s 11:16 on a sunday night and i have work tomorrow. and i#know most of the horrors are over but there are still so many more fucking horrors ahead. saying goodbye to people i love and anniversaries#of things happening including today being the 4 year anniversary of a certain email lol. and i can FEEL the difference. the way my stomach#is in knots bc weekends are only so long (even long ones) and i can only hold back the horrors for a little while. it’s all temporary. augh.#i literally need like a whole month off i think. idk. work stuff has fucked up my mental health beyond belief this year and it’s so sad bc t#this is my dream job but im in so much mental pain and physical exhaustion constantly and they beget themselves and by the end of the week#im miserable. but the semester is about to end. but what if it doesn’t get better bc EVERY single god damn time we talk about how it’s gonna#get better it quite literally gets worse lol 💖 i can’t im not strong enough. coming up on 5 years here and im not fucking strong enough!#but i will heal eventually i think. i just need the horrors to cease for long enough for me to catch my breath (and other redacted things ♥️
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nimue-hidden-lake · 5 months
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Ok ok ok ok! I went through my rollarcoaster just now! Guh... Guess I have two hands... Get here, I will snatch.
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I will not say this is the last since I am scared now Dice will make it and I have to make the Fling Posse polycule a reality.
Anyway uh... Fine, been 2 or 3 weeks... You win... Yes, that means more selfship lore and perhaps a new fic idea? I dunno, maybe.... Getting to work...
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gh0str3c0rd3r · 8 months
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GIVE ME THE SOUR CREAM AND ONION PRINGLES
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chierry · 11 months
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damn depression is actually like. kicking my ass pretty hard
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reanimationstation · 2 years
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You are so so so normal so normal i promise. Normalcore. We are normaling. Voted Mr Normal by 1 in 5 people. What else can I come up with uhm. Yeah. Go watch The Batman again. This is coming from me a certified normal guy. My dumbass needs to watch The Batman actually so I can see ur weird mans and the emo bat guy
DJFKKSJFDG henry i love you. thank you we are Normalcoring. i just need to find the time to watch it (i bought the dvd >:]). also literally hes not my mans i want to put him under a microscope (derogatory). bruce though.....
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vorphas · 2 years
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WHEN
WHEN Y
W
WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR FRIEND SMILE....
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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m1d-45 · 1 year
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Just looked back at the posts you linked, and Mushroom's ask made me realize something.
I forgot to mention that my dog is part malamute! She's got a very thick and fluffy coat, so she'd be a literal perfect cuddle buddy on cold nights!
(She's also part red heeler, so she will absolutely bite some ankles to herd others away from me. She has done it before.)
-sibling anon, who absolutely adores their goofy little dog
waugh….. she’s perfect……. i too adore your goofy little dog….
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marvelousmawn · 2 years
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i finished my show :') im going to immediately rewatch bc i miss them already and my initial finding fic attempts have been thwarted :') prepare for The Queue™
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autism-corner · 5 months
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!!!!
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apocalyptic-dancehall · 6 months
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it's such a contradictory existence.. i have to be eased into it like a small rabbit being put into a new habitat
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boom33713 · 10 months
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sorry,,,i thought about tmnt mutant mayhem and started crying,,
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pepprs · 1 year
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i do not want to get out of bed omfg. this week has been so fucking insane im exhausted but we have aprogram tonight until 7 and i have to facilitate and there are a million things to do today
#but i got my p*riod and cotaught on tuesday and broke up w my counselor on monday and a few days before that redacted redacted so im ph#physically and emotionally exhausted but we have this program tonight until 7 and then 2 trainings tomorrow andi have like 2 meetings inbetw#between those. and i just want to sleep and/or lie down w a heating pad bc my cramps have been brutal this time around. literally could#barely get work done on tuesday bc i was in AGONY and forgot my heating pad and no one could bring it to me from home but it s like i have n#nowhere on campus to lie down or get checked out or anything bc im not a student anymore so i need to just writhe at my desk (<- i have one#of those now finally btw 🥹💗) and jusf hope i don’t pass out. and i didn’t but it was so bad and im not recovered from it yet. idk.#everything is so much. there are some intense and in some cases horrible things happening. iwwish we had time to pause and process them and#that we weren’t so tired and stretched all the time. i wish we didn’t have all these pressures to worry about. i wish we could just have#time to love each other and check in truly and to support each other bc we are friends before we are colleagues methinks and i jsut want us#to be ok and happy and rested and healthy. idk. augh#delete later#purrs#also i think i am not normal when it comes to cramps btw. i think maybe it might not be normal to be in this much pain. or maybe im just#weak or have a low pain tolerance but i feel like it’s a lot worse than it used to be + i get cramps at Other times too and it’s ummmm bad.#ask to tag#like how absolutely insane that this is a huge part of my life and i feel like i can’t even talk abt it and it’s so embarrassing but it#literaly is like.. every other week im scared that im gonna be unable to function bc of pain but i literally say nothing at all and just smi#smile and pretend im fine and barely talk abt it. i don’t think that’s good or normal. and i think ppl should talk abt p*ripds more so it’s#not as weird or bad or gross or cringe whatever to talk abt being in pain and to accommodate urself or whatever despite other ppl knowing#abt it. cringeeeee augh i don’t want to be one of Those people but like. it’s bad and i fucking hate it
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