pinkmoonmutual i think i have come to u about my adoring fixations on older men before. I woke up from a dream where I was hanging out with this guy I really like and it was so wonderful and perfect and exactly what I want from him....a very nice dream to have, and it fits into what ive been working on recently which is human relationships and figuring out what I want and how to have it... its difficult for me because I love people SO MUCH often after a very short amount of time, this is especially true of older people because I crave sibling affection I didn't get growing up but it happens with people my own age too. and ah idk I'm never sure how to express it to people because love and intensity are things most people only want and expect from romantic attraction. and I'm not opposed to that but especially with older men this becomes difficult because the people I love are not interested in dating people 10 years younger than them and really it would be inappropriate (this guy was my professor! not gonna happen!) and i just end up feeling really creepy and weird and not knowing what to do with this huge adoration and affection inside me. so tricky I really wish you could just be /in love/ with someone and tell them and have them see it as a nice thing and not me trying to get sex or romantic commitment from them. i wish i was a little dog so i could just curl up at his feet and have it be simple. guuuuhhhhhhhh honestly i just wanted to tell you about my crush. I only knew this guy for like a month and a half so its a bit silly but hes so pretty and smart and cool and really inspired me to live and pushed me in the direction im currently going. its just tricky tricky im probably over complicating it but do you think there's more to love than the relationships that people in our world expect? I love people like theyre a god TT .. even talking about it here feels vapid compared to how it is for me. anyway nice dream thanks universe and i hope the pinkmoonworld is nice today <3

i understand u <3 it is a vary nice day in pinkmoonworld thanku for the wish~~~i know this dilemma tho sigh , my thoughts below..

i always felt like my admiration of people was extreme & consuming , i still do to a certain extent its a big part of the reason WHY i became a bit withdrawn like i struggle w how attached i get to others. i dont want to ask for anything in return but i feel shame when people find me creepy lol. And even then, that shame isnt rly the reason i've become untrusting with my heart, cold ppl r the least of my worries, i understand them.. moreso it's dangerous for me when i encounter someone who recognizes i am This Way & instead of being plainly disinterested or aloof they consciously decide to Use my affections in a sinister manner for their own advantage. that's what's mainly caused me to bcome distant even tho i want to love those ppl too.

so despite distance i still need some outlet for these loveful feelings so i guess i've spent the past 5-ish years working on ways to be overly compassionate in a safer manner.. And a big part of that is that i rly find the purest form of love to be platonic love, when theres not really any expectations or prize for being close to someone yet u still are, that kind of love speaks the deepest to me. and it's funny because really shortly after i surrendered my quest for romantic love, like completely surrendered , is when i met SLIMBO, and thru my efforts to be a really good friend to them we ended up falling sooooooo deeply sincerely in love like nothing i;ve ever known. if we had rushed into a relationship idk if it wld be the same , like having it slowly blossom over the course of a few years w no pressure, it's the foundation upon which we could be SO deeply sure we would always be together.

So the way u speak of loving ur crush, i'd say, just continue to act kindly towards him and everyone else u encounter, with no expectations of them.. people really need this like i think everyone needs to know what it feels like to experience a True Friend a selfless friend. it's rare! i rarely meet anyone who i feel doesn't want *something* from me that i cant give them. and i dont even want to hold that against them! im just saying, what U feel is rare so u should embrace it. allow yourself to exude love as much as u can and that frequency will return to u, just like how it did for me and slimbo...And other friends ive made along the way ^_^ Follow you heart.. maybe he's older but who knows what could happen. i've dated ppl 10 years older than me cus i have always acted like grandpa. sometimes ppl will just see u for ur soul.

and maybe ur dream is pointing u in a right direction, idk, i confessed my love to slimbo a few days after having a dream that we held hands. Ofc we had been friends for 2 years by this point so the time felt right, not every dreams mean u should confess, but i feel like having a sweet dream such as that can be a sort of telepathic experience sometimes.. show a connection between you and him on the astral plane. Take time to enjoy life n enjoy having a crush too cus it can be really fun to feel that crazy over someone :] thats my thoughts.....good luck with your heart, PMD9 out !

Your presence on tumblr is a little comforting to me. I know that may sound sort of weird considering we’re strangers and never held a proper conversation. I remember when I first got into skz, they had just debuted and there really wasn’t a ton of content of them on tumblr but there were a few creators that I noticed often. And though I never really interacted a whole lot with those creators, it was nice to see them and get to know them from afar. I feel like many of those creators are either now inactive or deleted their account, which bums me out. You’re probably one of the only people who’s still here. And I’m not exactly sure what it is but it just feels a little comforting that you’re still around on tumblr. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re close in age? I did send a few asks in the past too and I remember you being very sweet to me…I actually just reread one of your responses to me and it made me cry a little (in a good way) since I’m not doing so great right now. Anyways, thank you for being here! I enjoy your content (including your rants) and I think you’re hilarious and sweet

hello ☹️🖤 !! i just happened to see this while i was doing some work and when i tell you i had to take a break to just cry my silly little eyes out 😭😭 whhh my heart 😓🤍

firstly :( noo it's not weird bc i feel the exact same way... i mean like... i'm miserable without the og stayblr i won't lie 😭 as nice and fun as things can be- ive said it 100 times- nothing will compare to stayblr for me in the earlier days 😞💔 idk.. it was always so much fun and everyone was so funny and warm and easy going and idk :( it was such a small warm community ?? and the fact that most of those ppl who i made friends with kinda deleted or just drifted away from here like .. part of me is like yes bestie u go live ur life away from stayblr dot hell but 😭 also the way i miss them and 2018 stayblr 😭💔 idk maybe i'm just kinda bitter and jaded abt current stayblr but.. it's just not the same to me personally anymore 🫡

and no i totally get it 😞 idk it feels like solidarity or a lil warm hug cause you've seen this person since what feels like forever ago and just been around with them and idk.. it's comforting!! they've been there in any sort of capacity right... like they're just there 🚶‍♂️ ?? idk how to explain it but you're right it is comforting 😭😭

😭😭 omg .. please :( no tears !!! im hugging u with all my love and warmth please 😭😭 im really sorry you're not doing great atp 😓 believe me it's the vibe of life rn but im :( cheering you on!! :(( i really hope whatever it is, that you can overcome it and it won't be pressuring / upsetting you forever 😭 i am sending all my love and :( hugs and warmth to you :(

i just wanted to say thanku for this ask... i feel really unwelcome and miserable on this blog ngl so 🚶‍♂️ ive been spending less and less time here :(( but this made me really idk.. happy sad 😭 like i'm glad ppl still think of me and would want my content but it also makes me so sad that other ppl feel this way too 🚶‍♂️ life kinda sucks HSNSKDNDKD 😭😭 anyway :( thanku for saying smth so kind to me.. idk if i even deserve it but :(( your words meant a lot 😭🖤🌙🐺 :(((

idk how they are not embarrassed or how did they think that that's a normal thing to do🥸 WE CAN BURN SM TOGETHER THATS FOR SURE!!!

ahhh i agree i hope they realize soon that noise music is not really the way for every band😟 OOO IM GLAD U ENJOYED THEM!!!! yessss 3 I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM!!!! but im struggling so hard with recognizing them😭

WELL IF I WASNT LIED TO THEN YES SHE DID THAT!!!! UR REACTION😭THATS KIND OF FUNNY MY NGL

istg i started to associate u with him cuz of ur profile pic that u had it was such a nice pic!!! WELL I GUESS THAT BETTER THAN NOTHING (i feel like this sounds rude but i do not mean it in a rude way so i hope it doesn't come off that way) BUT I CANT BELIEVE EVERYBODY OTHER THAN TREASURE BASICALLY WAS DOING THAT CHALLENGE JUST SMH

aaaa i wish i could have other accents💔💔💔 i just have one general one and it just doesn't change so💔💔💔 lmao thats relatable but for me it never stays in my mind when i try to do a british accent i'm saying it loudly wrongly and proudly 😌🤞 (liebestraum anon💓)

LIKE they woke up and were like hm. lets send a truck to hybe. TO BOYCOTT ALL THE HARD WORK OUR FAVS DID WHEN LEARNING THE DANCE. sigh. anyways!

okay update since the boys debuted- i only vibed with the title track (?) so its a 😔 for me. but i adOOORED that song its such a feel good song and their concept is so cute i love it but i dont see myself listening to the other two songs....😔😔😔 mourning the 03 liners very deeply rn 💔 BUT BUT BUT you know what i remembered the other day ??? LIKE I LEGIT WANTED TO MESSAHE U ABT THIS but basically i got reminded of p1harmony's existence again, right, (bc i forget abt groups when i am not hyperfixated on them lol) AND I REMEMBERED INTAK IS A 03 LINER so. our crew so far consists of doyoung, seunghan, intak aNd us two. (Also im pretty sure minjae from mcnd is a 03 liner too bc i had a mental breakdown over that too when i was getting into them like 2 years ago 👀)

I HAD NO IDEA THAT HAPPENED LMAOOO THANKU FOR TELLING ME I FEEL LIKE THIS IS AN IMPORTANT INFO 😭😭😭😭 has the same energy as keeho having a stan account before being an idol LMAOO.

i was NOT a wilbur fan when hearing that song let me tell u it was on the speakers every other day i was so annoyed

im gonna cry thAT pic was so adorable wasnt it 🥺🥺🥺 like he may be 4 years older than me but i go all protective over dino like anyone dare to hurt him and i will SWING like i know how to fight. try me. TRY ME. also u never sound rude omg stop worrying abt that 😭💕 and LITERALLY i also dont get it like they arw the biggest svt fanboys and THEY DIDNT DO THE CHALLENGE ?? 😭

no bc my accent changes depending on the amount of english i speak out loud too like the less often i speak it the more slovak i sound 🤡 i dont have eng classes anymore so the only opportunity i have to speak eng is when im sending voice memos to my peruvian bestie and like the other day i listened back to it and i cringed so hard bc my english really got rUSTY 😭😭😭 i should like record vlogs so i dont lose my accent or something idk. also SPEAK THAT BRITISH ACCENT LOUD AND PROUD. show them what the uk youtube scene did to us.