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amesvertes · 10 months

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90210. m. o'hara

synopsis ¬ in which the anomaly on earth - 90210 isn't what miguel thinks it is, but that might just be a good thing.

pairings ¬ miguel o'hara x fem! spider person

author's note ¬ yh, i was listening to 90210 while writing this, so what?

miguel watches from a nearby rooftop, waiting for any sign of disruption to appear, his cue to swoop in and catch the anomaly unguarded.

this isn't the first time there's been a complaint regarding this particular anomaly, hell, there's a box of them in his office. why? because everyone he's sent here has failed. but, it can't be that bad... can it?

that's when he sees it, a body running across the building next to his.

he takes off after the person, his loud footsteps making his presence known as the anomaly momentarily looks back.

but as they do his eyes widen, the threat is a spider?

he gets to lost in thought to see which way the spider turns as he chases after them, running through a dark alley.

miguel grunts in frustration as he enters a clearing, his target no where in sight. he turns off his mask pinches the bridge of his nose in between his fingers as he curses under his breath. the location he started at was the only trace of them he had, now he has no idea of where they might be.

so he calls it quits, sighing as he opens his mouth to summon his ai, her name on the tip of his tongue before a sound from his side catches his attention.

but before he can fully turn around a figure runs towards him and a hand wraps around his neck, the force of the tackle almost lifting him off his feet before he gets slammed onto the hard concrete ground.

he curses at the impact, face twisting in pain before it turns into a snarl, his fangs bared at the person above him.

so imagine his surprise when he sees the face of a woman, her face twisted into the same predatory snarl, nose scrunched up and everything, her own fangs glistening in the moonlight and her eyes glowing a slightly similar red to his. imagine his surprise when he sees you.

"i'm tired of you people coming after me." you hiss, your voice the only thing entering miguel's ears as he stares up at your face.

but he recovers quickly, his own hand wrapping around your neck and pushing you off of him. you lash out at each other, your sharp long nails and his talons swiping at each other's suits.

"stop - fuck- stop it!" he grabs your arms and presses them against your chest, hissing down at you.

you hiss back, chest rising and falling as you try to break free from the position you're in, but he only presses down on your arms harder.

"what do you want?" you snap, eyes glaring up at his.

"you are a threat to the multiverse, i need you to come wi-"

"no." you interrupt him, causing him to glare down at you. "don't interrupt me when i-"

"i don't care about you and your friend's bullshit about the fate of the multiverse. all of you can go screw yourse-"

your cut off by miguel quickly lifting you up by your arms and slamming you back onto the ground. you groan in pain, flinching as he gets closer to your face.

"i don't give a damn about whatever selfish reason you've pulled out of your ass for you not to care about the fate of the multiverse. i'm not asking you to come with me, i'm telling you."

he speaks with so much venom and authority a look of slight shock passes over your face before it returns to it's previous irritated one. "well, i'm telling you, i'm not going, and you can't make me."

a dry chuckle leaves his throat as he looks down at you, his expression even more darker than it was before. one of his talons moves to the neck of your suit, hooking itself onto the material before he drags it down with a swift motion, tearing the fabric open to expose your neck and shoulder.

"what the fuck?!" you glare up at him, starting to resist him once again as you thrash this way and that.

he bares his fangs at you once again, slowly lowering his head to the crook of your neck. his eyes belong to those of a hungry animal, staring at your exposed skin until his breath is flush against your skin.

"that's not your choice to make..."

you cry out as his fangs pierce your flesh, groaning as his venom makes it's way into your bloodstream and your limbs slowly turn into heavy bricks.

he slowly releases his bite, licking the blood off his teeth and lips as he stares down at you.

"what did you... do...?" your voice comes out as a lazy slur, your eyes drooping with every breath you take as you try to move, but to no avail.

"i made the choice for you."

miguel watches as your eyes close, a satisfied look crossing his eyes as he takes in your features.

he stands up shortly after, throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"lyla? take us back."

#miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv #atsv x reader #atsv smut #atsv fanfiction #spiderman 2099 #spiderman #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o’hara smut #amesvertes #miguel o'hara x reader

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lol-jackles · 6 months

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I'm devastated my Mathew Perry's passing. The last celebrity death that impacted me this much was Robbie Williams. Just to think that the "Friends" reunion can never happen now in any shape or form, kinda puts things into perspective for me and then all of a sudden the reality of the situation hits HARD. I remember when Robbie Williams passed, i literally didn't believe for an entire day that he's dead. I genuinely thought it's some sort of hoax or something, especially coz in those days I didn't have smartphone so all these celeb news weren't live (for me). So, so tragic. Gone too soon. RIP 🙏

Men like Robin Willians and Matthew Perry brought multiple generations happiness and comfort. I hope Matthew knew he put a smile on a lot of people's face all over the world. Even though Friends portray (idealized) American culture, the world can relate because it's about relatable subjects of love and friendship, it's timeless and even if some jokes are dated, young people can still relate to them. Teens who thought they were too cool for Friends eventually became fans as they pass through their 20s and reach their 30s because it's the time in their lives when your friends were your family.

Even if you are not a fan of Friends, the show and its cast are inescapable. Matthew's death is shocking because not only did we not see it coming but for the fact that Friends will never be whole again. We always saw the 6 of them together, we all knew who they were. Those kinds of things always hurt, because you’ll never think of a world without people like them. The same feeling came about when Michael Jackson died, no matter your opinion and feelings about him, there was never a place where people didn't see or witness Michael Jackson in any capacity. That’s why his death was so shocking to the whole world. It also reminds me of Luke Perry dying. People had the same sentiment “someone from 90210 died?” He was only 52 and died 4 years ago.

Friends has always been eternal, yes the actors age, but we all assumed we'd see them forever as friends. Rest in peace Matthew, we'll never get another Chandler crashing a Matt Le Blanc interview. We'll never have a picture of Old Matt and Old Courteney to imagine Old Monica and Chandler. But Chandler's wit, sarcasm, and humor lives on to bring smiles to generations to come.

#Matthew Perry #Rest in Peace

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shifterdomain · 29 days

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Masterlist Imagines / Actors

Jonah Hauer-King

Reading Thirst Tweets

You had wrapped the project you and Jonah had been working on for the past year and a half and now you are invited by Buzzfeed to come and read the Thirst Tweets they picked out for the both of you.

Kids Interview

You and Jonah are traveling across Europe with the rest of the cast for the press tour of The Little Mermaid. You were set to have a day off, but when Halle couldn’t make it to the interview with Jonah because she was feeling ill, you came to do the interview with Jonah instead.

Puppy Interview

You and your boyfriend Jonah do the Buzzfeed Puppy Interview to talk about the new sequel of the 90s hit Beverly Hills 90210 that you both star in.

He comes home again

Your boyfriend Jonah had been in Sardinia for the past 9 months to film The Little Mermaid after finishing the scenes they shot at Pinewood Studios London, while you stayed behind in your guys’ apartment to watch your cat and dog. He wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow afternoon, so you were fairly surprised to see him standing in your doorway.

She called me daddy

You have a 3-year-old daughter from a past relationship, your former partner walking out on your relationship when you had ‘accidentally’ gotten pregnant. Luckily you met Jonah on a night out about a year ago and ever since he met your daughter the two have been completely in love. Now you were at the Little Mermaid premier to cheer on Jonah, hoping to stay behind the scenes, but your daughter had other plans.

Hospital Confessions

You are starring in a big fantasy/action feature, but in doing your own stunt, you get hurt and end up in the hospital. When your cousin Halle visits you, together with Jonah, you end up confessing your love to the latter.

#masterlist #masterlist imagines #masterlist actors #masterlist imagines actors #imagines #imagines actors #jonah hauer king

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oxyfilmidentity-fa23 · 5 months

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Race in the Imaginary: Nowhere (1997) dir. Gregg Araki

"L.A. is like... nowhere. Everybody who lives here is lost. " -The opening quote of Nowhere

"In general, these films worry that the most violent and degraded acts are possible to those who do not inhabit a home or homeland." -Helen Addison Smith, "E.T. Go Home: Indigeneity, Multiculturalism and ‘Homeland’ in Contemporary Science Fiction Cinema"

Gregg Araki describes his film Nowhere as "Beverly Hills 90210" on acid. Nowhere follows a number of uniquely-named, all somewhat inter-connected teenagers (Lucifer, Dingbat, Egg, Jujyfruit...) in Los Angeles over the course of one day as they engage in an aimless cocktail of drugs, sex, polyamory, BDSM, and parties. The world of the film is in constant flux between reality and fantasy (and it is very, very, very queer). Everything is extremely heightened: there are lengthy, gratuitous sex scenes, a seemingly unlimited access to space, an abundance of drugs, and vast, artistic bedrooms that real teens would only dream of.

In my interpretation, the film's world is an external representation of the teens' imaginations and their feelings of an endless, indestructible youth. While this world is a step above reality for the viewer, it is real to the characters. However, this overindulgence is not without it's consequences. The first half of the film is a sort of queer, sex-positive utopia seemingly free of prejudice in which the teens can have sex with whoever they want, go wherever they want, and so on. This all seems to crumble in the second half of the film, as the teens' endless consumption unravels into overdose, sexual assault, suicide, violent fights, and broken hearts. Araki does not seem to be prudish or critical of this queer nomadic lifestyle, though. He seems to posit that this imaginative world is sadly incompatible with the "real world" of capitalist society at the turn of the century.

Now for the sci-fi. Unbeknownst to every character except Dark, the day on which this film takes place is sort of Judgement Day; the last "normal" day before aliens come to take over the planet.

Dark is the main character of the film, and offers some narration through diary entries and videos he takes of himself and his friends. He is played by James Duvall, a multiracial actor. Dark becomes increasingly unhappier as his girlfriend Mel spends more and more time with her girlfriend Lucifer, who he hates. He grows weary of their indulgence sexually-open arrangement, simply wanting to fall in love and be committed to one person that will anchor him in a world he feels lost in. As he gets more disconnected from Mel, he finds himself infatuated with Mongomery, a boy who goes to school with the teens but who Dark knows little about.

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At the same time as Dark's discontent with his lifestyle grows and he finds himself falling in love with Montgomery, he sees a bunch of giant alien creatures roaming around the city, abducting people. Dark is the only character able to see these aliens, which seems to be no coincidence alongside the fact that he is the only character verbalizing any anxiety about the future and the teens' lifestyle. In one diary entry, he says: "I feel like I’m sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand, watching everyone around me die a slow, agonizing death. It’s like we all know, way down in our souls, that our generation is gonna witness the end of everything. You can see it in our eyes."

In the final scene of the film, Dark returns home after an empty night of partying and a fight with Mel. Montgomery appears at his window and tells Dark that he was abducted and tested on by the aliens. The two boys lie together on Dark's bed and confess their love, promising to never leave each other. Just when it seems like Dark has found what he has been longing for, Montgomery goes into a violent coughing fit and explodes, leaving a bug-like alien in his place that crawls out of Dark's room, and the movie ends.

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While the aliens in Nowhere are not necessarily representative of a racialized Other according Addison Smith's analysis of Sci-Fi films, the impending doom of an alien invasion and Dark's isolating anxiety is quite in line with Addison-Smith's reading of home and homeland. Araki's identity as Japanese-American director and Duvall's as a multiracial American actor are factors in this reading of the film. Since this film is thus told from a mixed/multiracial perspective, the its anxiety is not surrounding the (white/Western) fear of "losing" a home to outsiders, but the fear of not belonging to any one home in the first place.

Addison-Smith writes:

"For many people in self-avowedly multicultural nations such as the United States, their status as migrants, be it forced or economic, recent or later generational, means that 'home’ has become a complex, multiple and sometimes fraught notion. That such multiple belongings to place is not confined to recent migrants can most immediately be seen in the labelling of many ethnic groups through the joining of two place names (African—AmericanJapanese-American)" (28).

Araki uses Los Angeles as an unstable home in this film (note the opening quote at the top of this post). He plays upon the notions of transplants to the city, and the stereotypes that the city and its inhabitants are vain and superficial. The characters move throughout the city at will, with no connection to any particular space. Actual homes are places of confinement and depression (both the suicides in the film occur in character's bedrooms).

I read that Dark's ability to see the aliens is a representation of his sense of displacement and anxiety for the future. When Montgomery enters his room and the two share an extremely intimate, tender moment, his room finally begins to feel like home, rather than its previous role as a space for his lonesome brooding and masturbation. But when Montgomery explodes as is replaced by an alien, Dark's vision of home and someone to share it with also figuratively blows up in his face; home feels impossible.

Finally, Montgomery's objectification by Dark's infatuation and his identity as a white queer man seem to be an inversion of both romance and Sci-Fi tropes. Montgomery seems to occupy both the role of the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" in Dark's desire to be saved by him, and the racialized alien Other in his mysteriousness and his constant affiliation with the aliens. Addison-Smith writes, "An alien is easy to identify, and particular judgements about them are thus easily drawn from their appearance alone, so rooting their ‘racial nature' in their biology" (27). Montgomery definitely stands out in this world. He has different colored eyes, is always dressed in white, appears to Dark miraculously by a sign that reads "God help me," and, unlike very other character, is quiet and keeps to himself. He is alien and even an angelic figure to Dark, a unique representation against Addison-Smith's notions of the racialized alien as either invader or teacher.

The entire movie Nowhere is on Youtube! I think it's really great, but there's a ton of trigger warnings (sexual assault, drug abuse, suicide, eating disorders, physical assault, gore). The quality is also very bad. Proceed with caution.

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#oxyfilmidentity #@theuncannyprofessoro #Youtube

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miras-false-pr0phet · 2 months

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I Paired Songs with Every Single Animal Dance in Animal Jam Classic

This doesn't include the patterned versions, like Snowflake Arctic Wolf, Autumn Coyote, Jamaaliday Deer, etc.

BIG ol' list with song links below!

BY THE WAY: Most of these songs are probably explicit! I was focusing mostly on unique takes, beats/BPM, and just general goodness.

Arabian Horse - FΛSHION (Britney Manson)

Arctic Fox - All Men Are Pigs (Studio Killers)

Arctic Wolf - The Night (Voltaire)

Bunny - Fine (Lemon Demon)

Camel - Animal (*repeat repeat)

Cheetah - 8 now (food house)

Clydesdale Horse - Here Comes the Hotstepper (Ini Kamoze)

Cougar - Imma Be (Black Eyed Peas)

Coyote - Crank It Up (Joey Valence & Brae)

Crocodile - Good Vibrations (Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch)

Deer - Hey Ya! (Outkast)

Direwolf - Rock It For Me (Caravan Palace)

Dolphin - Booty Swing (Parov Stelar)

Eagle - Lay All Your Love On Me (ABBA)

Elephant - Rasputin (Boney M)

Falcon - The Outside (Twenty One Pilots)

Fennec Fox - Let's Groove (Earth, Wind & Fire)

Flamingo - Funkytown (Lipps Inc.)

Fox - Break It Down Again (Tears For Fears)

Giraffe - still feel. (half•alive)

Goat - Get It Right (Left Boy)

Great Horned Owl - Say It Right [Violin] (Joel Sunny)

Horse - Pretty Ugly (Tierra Whack)

Hyena - Genghis Khan (Miike Snow)

Kangaroo - High (Sir Sly)

Koala - Call This # Now (The Garden)

Lemur - Monkey Tree (Mother Mother)

Lion - Talking, Sleeping, Waiting (JHAS)

Llama - Dancin [KRONO Remix] (Aaron Smith)

Lynx - Upside Down (Oliver Tree)

Monkey - Cool City (Danny Elfman)

Moose - Americano (Lady Gaga)

Octopus - Tennis Court (Lorde)

Otter {Land} - Reflections (MisterWives)

Otter {Underwater} - Sharks (Imagine Dragons)

Owl - Lost In The Rhythm (Jamie Berry)

Panda - Bulletproof (La Roux)

Penguin {Land} - Deceptacon (Le Tigre)

Penguin {Underwater} - My Type (Saint Motel)

Pig - Null 2 (Graham Kartna)

Polar Bear {Land} - Boreas (The Oh Hellos)

Polar Bear {Underwater} - Death Is A Girl (Mini Mansions)

Raccoon - Drunk-Dazed (ENHYPEN)

Red Panda - Space Ghost Coast To Coast (Glass Animals)

Rhinoceros - Birthday Suit (Cosmo Sheldrake)

Sabertooth - Demigod (KT Tunstall)

Sea Turtle - 90210 [Acoustic Ver.] (blackbear)

Seal {Land} - Shotgun (George Ezra)

Seal {Underwater} - Shotgun (George Ezra)

Shark - Wriggle [Edit] (Cosmo Sheldrake)

Sheep - Droopy Likes Your Face (C418)

Skunk - The Russian Music Box (Soon Hee Newbold)

Sloth - Burn The House Down (AJR)

Snow Leopard - Circular Road (Heathers)

Tiger - American Money (BØRNS)

Toucan - Riptide [FlicFlac Remix] (Vance Joy)

Wolf - Roll with the Wind (Alexander Rybak)

#animal jam classic #jamblr #aj classic #animal jam #ajc #animal jam animals #animal jam dances #ALSO #if any artists here arent good #i probably havent heard abt it #i was gonna add the gifs of all the dances but i cant fit them T-T #am i right? am i wrong? let me know bc i may be absolutely insane with these takes #also considering doing some sort of thing with the Alphas #like theme songs or something #not all of them just the main ones

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thosewildcharms · 1 year

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i was tagged by @theyarebothgunshot to talk about 8 shows to get to know me. thank you for tagging me! putting this under the cut because i ramble.

In no particular order:

1: the oc/gossip girl: yeah okay i’m cheating right off the bat by conflating these two but i don’t care it makes sense! besides being from the same creator/production team, i think in many ways they are natural inverses of each other (west coast/east coast, new money/old money, evolving beyond what people expect of you vs buying into your own propaganda etc). listen i am a sucker for teen dramas, always have been and always will be, and i think these two changed the game in a BIG way. neither are thee mothership of the genre (i think that goes to beverly hills 90210???) but they are both so compelling in different ways and i very often find myself thinking about them (also in very different ways) years after watching them, and subconsciously compare characters on other shows to the main cast of each and they always fall short (you will never be blair waldorf you will never be seth cohen etc). plus the soundtracks! incredible. i can talk about the oc in particular for days and how it has what every other teen show secretly needs (sandy cohen) but this is already too long and i need to shut up.

2. miranda (bbc): listen. LISTEN. i re-watch this show every year without fail. it is the ultimate cozy feel good show that also somehow punches me in the face with how much of an Experience it is. i can’t describe to you what it was like watching this silly little comedy for the first time, getting sucker punched so thoroughly (in the best way) over and over and then to finally have the most satisfying conclusion i could have imagined. references from this show take up a not-insignificant amount of my vocabulary and i quote it daily. it’s so good. i love it so much.

3. friday night lights: anyone who has watched this show knows why. it’s so hard to explain, it’s just good. as someone who has never given even the slightest shit about any sports game of any kind, i think the highest compliment i could give this show is that it made me cry about football more than once. the only people i know who don’t love this show simply have not seen it (actually, people don’t talk about this show enough anymore?? that’s so sad). when i think of my favorite shows, i always have to include fnl because it’s just so sincerely excellent. i own two fnl t-shirts and i will gush about it unprompted if you give me even the tiniest window to do so. texas forever, clear eyes full hearts etc. micheal b jordan you will always be vince howard to ME.

4. gilmore girls: this one actually surprises even me because i never talk about it on tumblr dot com lol but i literally have it on as background noise as i type and it’s almost always my default when i just want to put something on that’s comforting. it’s weird because i can’t really say i LIKE the show as a whole but it’s so cozy (at least the first five seasons) and i do have a LOT of opinions about it, but in a kind of low-stakes way where it’s fun to think about instead rage-inducing. it’s strangely enough, something i can talk about for hours (and often do) without even realizing it.

5. smallville: oh my god the way i was obsessed with this show in middle school lmaoo the way it’s not technically GOOD but also it kind of is? full disclosure i’ve only seen the last few seasons like, once but i used to have the first five or six seasons practically MEMORIZED. it’s a good time, and while i don’t know much about the superman comics (or any comics) it’s my....favorite? iteration of superman that i’ve seen? idk, i thought tom welling and kristin kreuk were the two most beautiful people i’ve ever seen in my life and i loved watching them make out. also michael rosembaum was an incredible lex luthor and i stand by that. i also find myself talking about this show a lot in real life.

6. lost: one thing about me is that i WILL go off about how the lost finale was good actually and NO they were not dead the entire time you idiot - at any given opportunity. it IS one of the five petty, inconsequential hills i will die on. it’s a good show with a good and fitting ending FIGHT ME ABOUT IT. also sawyer/juliet supremacy their reunion scene in the finale is the scene i compare all other romantic scenes to. nothing compares. scene of all time.

7. hey arnold: i know it’s a cartoon shut up! but consider this: it’s beautiful and good. i legitimately watch it all the time because it’s so funny and melancholy and sad and smart and the soundtrack slaps. also finally getting the jungle movie (which was a conclusion to a HUGE cliffhanger from my childhood) was proof that sometimes you can get closure, actually! this happened before reboots became unnecessary and exhausting leave me alone

8. supernatural: i watched this show after thee november fifth and it accidentally became my whole personality. i don’t even know.

honorable mentions: selfie abc (if you haven’t heard me whine about how it’s the one show in the world i actually want a reboot for you simply haven’t known me long enough); my mad fat diary (i will be thinking about finn writing ‘i love you’ on rae’s back for the rest of my life), ugly betty (i just love it a lot)

tagging: @bisansastarks @buttobstacle @mmaddens @richonnies @dwcas, @coachlasso @wordybee @ilarual @hauntedpearl @burgundyshoes @someoldlady @that-gender-bender @bananaleaves @korralone and anyone else who sees this and would like to do it!

#this was so fun thank you bestie!!!#tagging people who i think would enjoy this or that i would genuinely like to get to know/see what you say but again no pressure <33 #tumblr dot com #meme

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sadesluvr · 8 months

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i’m glad the topic of y/n came up, cause i’ve been thinking about it for a while! i imagine her aesthetic to be similar to that of brenda walsh’s style from beverly hills 90210, that relaxed but also feminine late 80s/early 90s style (y/n being a trendsetter lol)

OOOH I LOVE THIS! Some fits I thought matched best below for reference:

Y’all are so creative, I swear😩 Now that I think of it, people like Topanga/Angela from Boy Meets World and Ashley Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel Air match too!! Less gaudy 80s and a bit more fashion forward :)

#the normal people au #florence_nomachine #my asks

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bayleymania · 10 months

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What would heel jack perry's theme be? What is the opposite of Tarzan boy?

I know it would be expensive AF so it won’t happen, but imagine him using Welcome to the Jungle. That or the Beverly Hills 90210 song.

The only thing I hope is that they don’t give him some random no lyrics song. Tarzan Boy was brilliant and catchy and a fan favorite… they can’t downgrade.

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brandonxdylan · 10 months

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Ranking the GAY EPISODES of Beverly Hills, 90210 - Part 2

(Part 1 here)

#4.) Blind Spot (Season 4, Episode 26)

Car trouble lands Brandon and Steve stranded at a GAY COFFEEHOUSE, where, amidst all of his ridiculous gay panic, Steve clocks Mike, his fraternity president, enjoying a coffee with another guy. Back at the frat house, Mike approaches Steve, assuming that since he was also at the GAY COFFEEHOUSE, he must be gay too. Steve gives Mike the cold shoulder, showing no empathy for him whatsoever, and it’s actually really sad because Mike was so excited to relate to someone else in a similar situation, which I have to imagine would have been a rare opportunity, and I know how vulnerable and embarrassed he would have felt in that moment. Later on, Artie, another frat guy, makes, like, two incredibly dumb gay jokes about Steve, and rather than ignore them, fire back, or do literally anything other than the one thing he shouldn’t do, Steve immediately goes into self-preservation mode and deflects Artie’s homophobic ire towards Mike, the actual gay guy who’s been hiding in plain sight. Mike is understandably pissed when Steve tells him that “it just slipped out,” which isn’t really true. Latently homophobic Steve intentionally threw Mike under the bus to protect his own extremely fragile ego. Even Brandon agrees that Steve is a huge fucking dipshit for this, so you know it’s bad. Anyway, some of the frat brothers paint Mike’s bedroom door pink (such a weird fucking flex, honestly) and Mike threatens to leave the frat to avoid any further humiliation. He doesn’t, of course, because during a tribunal to decide Mike’s fate (insane that this is what it comes to, but the show doesn’t even acknowledge that), Steve saves the day by calling out Mike’s good attributes and blah blah blah, the homophobe becomes the hero. Hooray. Honestly, I kinda wish Mike had just left the frat. Why stay somewhere that is full of assholes who need to have a group fucking meeting discussing your personal life before they permit you to be in their presence? Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t consider being allowed to stay somewhere like that “a win.” But whatever. Mike manages to make some good points, and his gay rage is, appropriately, very justified. I just wish it didn’t have to be tempered at the end. I wish he got to peace out, go find love somewhere better than the damn KEG house, and leave Steve feeling like a piece of shit for fucking up his life. I would have been a hell of a lot more satisfied by that. Though this episode gets bonus points for featuring the GAY COFFEEHOUSE, which is the same coffeehouse used in an iconic double date scene from the stone cold classic, A Very Brady Sequel. More bonus points for some cute Dylan stuff during the photo shoot B story, and in particular, the moment where Dylan checks out and proceeds to compliment Brandon’s boxers. This is the kind of stuff that keeps me going.

#3.) Making Amends/The Nature of Nurture (Season 8, Episodes 23-24)

While working at the free clinic, Kelly finds a baby abandoned by its teen mother (a young Jessica Alba), and though she initially wants to adopt it herself, she relents when she learns that the baby will be placed in a foster-to-adopt situation with a carefully selected couple, as opposed to going back to the mother, whom Kelly has quickly and harshly written off as evil. But things that a major turn when Kelly learns that the foster parents are (gasp!) HOMOS! This sets off her strange and highly problematic crusade to return the baby to the custody of its mother, who does actively want it back now that she too knows her baby is at risk of being raised by a couple of gays. Ultimately, teen mom’s homophobia proves excessive, and causes Kelly to recognize that maybe the baby is better off with loving parents, regardless of their sexuality, than with a homophobic teen mom who only wants it out of spite. Naturally, things wrap up neatly, the baby lands with the gays, and Kelly gets to feel good about doing the right thing despite being the source of a LOT of strife for a LOT of people. There’s also a LOT to think about in this episode, and overall, I think it’s fairly well done aside from some frustrating character stuff. While Kelly – allegedly a social work major - demonstrates next to know understanding of how social services actually work, the writers do. I already wrote a bit about this episode so I won’t get too into it, but suffice it to say it tackles some thorny issues regarding issues of child protection, fostering, and adoption pretty well, and with as much accuracy as I think can be expected from a show like this. What I find most maddening about this episode is that Kelly isn’t granted the opportunity for any substantial self-reflection or personal growth. Her homophobic beliefs are placed in stark contrast to teen mom’s more extreme views, and therefore written off as not that bad. Additionally, the out-of-nowhere explanation that she wanted the baby for herself is positioned as the real reason for her actions, and the fact that the foster parents were gay was just an easy excuse she used to justify her shitty behavior. This doesn’t really track, and I don’t buy it. I think it would have been far more interesting to have this episode tackle the issue of latent homophobia, and explore the nuances involved in addressing that. As it is, Kelly isn’t left accountable for her actions, and that’s a problem for me because that’s really the theme of this episode. It’s not really about the gay parents, it’s about other (straight) people’s feelings about them. I think they could have dug a little deeper to offer a more satisfying character arc for Kelly. It’s not problematic to have latently prejudiced beliefs. It’s human! And dealing with them is something that would have been refreshing to see in an episode that otherwise gets so much right.

#2.) A Mate for Life/Disappearing Act/Pledging My Love (Season 7, Episodes 3-5)

Kelly begins a school placement at a group home for men with AIDS, and befriends Jimmy, a young gay man who is dying of the disease. Jimmy (played by Michael Stoyanov from Blossom) copes with his illness by practicing magic tricks, engaging in some self-deprecating gallows humour, and being generally charming. At one point, Kelly gets some of Jimmy’s blood on her hands, and she panics that she might be now be infected with HIV. Following an anxiety dream in which she gets AIDS rash, Kelly gets tested and though her doctor assures her that she’s probably fine, he does give her a lecture on safe sex, reminding her that HIV isn’t just for gay men - anyone can get it, and sexual intercourse is an easy way to do so. While she’s waiting for her test results, Kelly tells Clare and Donna that she’ll move out of their beach house if she ends up testing positive, and it’s around this point that I began to realize that this is a storyline that is wasted on Kelly. First of all, she’s straight, and though, yes, anyone can contract HIV, it goes without saying that it was gay men who were disproportionately affected by it in the United States at this time. Second of all, she was “contaminated” in such a minor way. These two factors make all of this feel really low stakes. We know that there’s no way in hell Kelly tests positive. I want to be clear that I don’t think that shows like this have any inherent obligation to those who have lived through trauma or illness to deal with these issues in a way that is consistently true to life. That’s a slippery slope because not all lived experience is the same, and what might feel validating and representative to someone might feel offensive to someone else. Plus, it’s also a lot to ask of a TV show, whose primary concern should be to entertain and to compel, not present viewers with a case study on living with AIDS. However, in this case I have to admit that it does feel a little inappropriate to be putting Kelly through the ringer in the most low stakes way possible, and milking that for drama when so many gay men were really going the ringer and the stakes were much higher. Not to minimize the experience of people like Kelly who suffered the worry of a close call, but it feels like the show is really pushing it with what it’s asking us to buy into. Granted, I guess that’s why we have Jimmy - to demonstrate what being a gay man dying of AIDS in the 90s actually could have looked like. And while yes, Jimmy falls squarely into the much-maligned trope of gays who only show up to die for the sake of the straight characters’ growth, he’s probably about as good as we possibly could’ve expected to get at the time, barring the show deciding to suddenly break all kinds of barriers and introduce a main gay character living with AIDS. It was just never gonna happen, and I’m not going to hold that against the show. Unsurprisingly, Kelly tests negative, but Jimmy takes a turn for the worse. Watching him make peace with his fate as Kelly offers some misplaced naivete, desperately suggesting that what he knows to be true might not be, it’s hard not to feel something. When Kelly suggests taking a photo of the two of them, it makes sense that Kelly would want to not only preserve a memento of their friendship, but also to assure Jimmy that he is someone who will be remembered fondly. It’s a touching moment, and the weight of it is effectively conveyed. While I already explained why I think this episode kind of mishandles its subject matter in terms of the AIDS scare stuff, what it gets right is the friendship between Kelly and Jimmy. I think what could’ve made it even better, however, would have been to allow Kelly just a little more time to sit in her open-ended grief, and try to make sense of Jimmy’s death. Some frank acknowledgement of the difficulty involved in doing that might have been an appropriately cathartic cap to this story, and it would have been a uniquely heavy moment for a show that by this point was often pretty superficial.

#1.) I’m Back Because/The Following Options (Season 9, Episodes 8-9)

Steve’s mom comes to town because she’s starring in a much-hyped comeback sitcom. Rumours abound that she’s dating her co-star, and when Steve asks her about them, she neither confirms nor denies, instead opting to remind Steve that it’s no one’s business who she dates. Eventually, however, she admits to Steve that she’s not dating her co-star, nor is she dating any man. She’s actually dating a woman. And okay, this is honestly one of the most unexpected yet awesome choices that this show could have made at this point. In an era of the show full of random retcons and arbitrary character development, the fact that this one comes out of nowhere actually makes sense, considering Samantha had been deeply in the closet prior to this moment, and she’s not someone we see every week. And choosing to give a coming out storyline to a middle aged mother as opposed to some young twentysomething? That’s a bold choice! The crux of the drama here is that Steve (once again) demonstrates some very blatant homophobic feelings about his mother’s sexuality, and slings some pretty nasty remarks her way, going so far as to accuse her of adopting him in order to complete some sort of heterosexual façade for the sake of her image. It’s all pretty embarrassing for Steve, but as with the earlier episode featuring Kelly and the teen mom, there is room to allow these characters to explore their latent homophobia. That would not only offer some compelling drama, but it would be an accurate reflection of reality. And this storyline gets 75% of the way there. They just bungle the ending. Steve only starts to see the light once word of Samantha’s sexuality leaks to the media, and Samantha is fired from her new show amidst the ensuing scandal. Watching his mom go through all of this undue humiliation causes Steve to do an about face, and choose to embrace her for who she is. It’s a cute ending, but man, does it ever skip a lot of steps in terms of Steve’s growth. We don’t get to see Steve do any of the work involved in addressing his homophobia, nor do we get any indication as to what specifically would have spurred his change of heart beyond his mom’s name being dragged through the mud. There’s no suggestion of introspection or vulnerability. There’s not really even an apology. I think if this storyline had had one more episode to really flesh out Steve’s character development, and to offer a heart to heart between mother and son, it could’ve been great. But there are still great things about it. Christine Belford is really good as Samantha (seriously, Samantha is not even a character we get to know very well over the course of the series, yet I practically cheered when she told Steve she was gay, so that’s a testament to her), and for all of Steve’s shitty behaviour towards her, Samantha gets to land a few zingers of her own. And again, I appreciate that the show chose to go this route with this character. Coming out in midlife is a reality for many people, and Samantha’s celebrity adds an interesting dynamic. There are definitely things that could have been improved upon, and it perhaps bites off a little more than it can chew, but its heart is in the right place, and it’s sympathetic without being condescending or othering. And while it’s Samantha’s final appearance on the show (BOO!), we do get to meet her new girlfriend, Karen, in the aforementioned luau episode of season 10, and wow - LESBIAN LEGEND. I sure hope Samantha hung on to her.

Well, there you have it. A thorough(ish) rundown of Beverly Hills, 90210′s major(ish) storylines featuring gay themes. It’s disappointing how short-lived all of these stories were, because most of them would’ve been better served by characters whom we actually get to know outside of their relationships with members of the gang. Still, as I’ve said before, I’m used to accepting scraps when it comes to queer content. And I’m happy to look back at this show and accept that we needed baby steps like this in order to get more and better gay content on television.

I hope everyone has had a safe and happy Pride month!

#i did not fully realize the scope of this undertaking and this whole thing took me a lot longer than i first anticipated #but it was still satisfying to do!#beverly hills 90210 #queer #90s

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stargazing-imagines · 10 months

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Truth hurts — Dylan McKay x Fem!reader

Description: you find out that your boyfriend Dylan has been cheating on you with Kelly leaving you with a broken heart.

Warnings: mentions of cheating, name calling, Light swearing

Fandom: Beverly Hills 90210

“How could you do this to me!”

You shouted at your boyfriend Dylan for what seemed like a hour but really it has been 30 minutes,

“just because I go off to Paris with Brenda and Donna for the summer doesn’t mean that you can cheat on me with her.” You said “have you considered my feelings in all this?”

“Look, Kelly made a pass at me and It just happened, it won’t happen again.”

“Your right it won’t.” You walked towards your bedroom door opening it signaling Dylan to get out “because we’re done.”

Dylan formed a thin line on his lips before taking his hands out of his pockets as he walked out the door before turning back to you.

“Just so you know, Kelly was the one at fought, not me.”

Dylan walked out the door, slamming it behind him, meanwhile you broke down into tears

——

“Hey Y/n!” Said Brandon as you entered the peach pit, he came closer to you before seeing your red stained eyes “what’s the matter?”

You sat down at the counter stools, placing your car keys onto the counter

“Everything.” You said as you rested your chin underneath your hand “I just found out that Dylan has been hooking up with Kelly Taylor, all while I was in Paris with Donna and Brenda.”

“Harsh.” Said Brandon “maybe your usual will cheer you up, vanilla milkshake with a mega burger with… extra pickles.”

“Thanks.”

——

“Look Y/N im sorry, it’s just… we have chemistry and we’ve known each other since kindergarten,” said Kelly “you do understand that right?”

You scoffed at the blonde haired girl, looking to the side before looking back at her.

“Please, that is the most pathetic excuse that I have ever heard of.” You said “I can’t believe we were ever friends.”

“Y/n…”

“No Kelly, listen to what I have to say.” You said as you stood up from the park bench “there are other fishes in the sea but you have to choose my boyfriend didn’t you?!”

“What… you think you were the perfect girlfriend?” Asked Kelly “you went to Paris and didn’t give a thought about the poor boys feelings.”

“I only went to Paris because Brenda asked me to.” You yelled “and I didn’t find a distraction either.”

“You are such a bitch!” Yelled Kelly as she crossed her arms, playing the victim

“Oh really?, maybe you should look in the mirror before saying that to someone else.” With that you left, fighting the urge to stop crying

——

Beverly Hills 90210 masterlist

#beverly hills 90210 #beverly hills 90210 imagines #dylan mckay x reader #dylan mckay x you #dylan mckay #90210 #bh 90210

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nsomniacsdream · 1 year

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I'm remembering journalism class and how I was told "people are going to tell you lies to make themselves seem right or reasonable. It's your job to find the truth, not just repeat the lies" and the current media is absolutely not up to this task.

The whole "not taking sides" thing means that most media outlets are broadcasting lies told for political purposes. Conservatives claiming 1 billion immigrants are molesting each white American child, police crying about how fentanyl killed their father and slept with their wife, racists making up statistics about how black people have a biological imperative to lay eggs in the throats of Christians. THEYRE LYING TO YOU. THE ONLY TIME YOU SHOULD REPEAT THOSE LIES IS WHEN YOURE POSTING WHAT THEY SAID AFTER!!!! YOUVE COMPLETELY PROVEN THEYRE LYING! let me show you how it would work

"Immigration by the Numbers"

America is heavily dependent in Immigration, for labor, a tax base, and because our birth rate has fallen below the replacement threshold. They are also vibrant additions to our communities and our country is richer and stronger for having them. Senator Ballbags statement last week, that "immigrants are all part of a conspiracy to take all of our precious foreskin and make them into a super drug the likes of which you can't imagine", are the rantings of a diseased mind and have no place in our society. The address to send letters demanding he be held accountable is: 123 Government, That Place, 90210

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bucksbisexualawakening · 9 months

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WIP WEDNESDAY

tagged by @diazblunt for WIP Wednesday (sorry that was days ago but i've been a bit sick and a lot busy)

here's a little tiny snippet from my couch metaphor fic.

His roommate’s couch in Peru was broken: It sat at a funny angle and Buck always felt a bit trapped by it. Tilting in on itself, it forced the occupant to hunch and curl into the cushions.

However, it wasn’t an uncomfortable couch by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, Buck found that once he sat down he wouldn’t want to get up for hours, the relaxed comfort luring him into many a day getting nothing done. It always left his back stiff and the muscles in his shoulders and over his heart sore - not that he ever remembered this until after he’d binged entire seasons of 90210 or too many hours of The Crocodile Hunter.

I'm fairly certain it was @panevanbuckley who suggested the early 2000s tv shows several months ago so thank you for that!

It is entirely possible that i've already shared this snippet. If you've seen this already, sorry - i'm operating on what feels like 40% brain power.

I'll tag people whatever you want/seven sentence sunday bc its been half a week. no pressure tags: @yelenasbuddie @buckleyhans and who ever wants to share something today.

#lynnsaysstuff #lynnwrites #wip wednesday lynn

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gacmediadaily · 7 months

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Rising Against the Titans

When you switch on your TV, it’s easy to gravitate towards those big-name channels that have been around for decades. Entering this established TV entertainment realm and making a mark is no easy feat. However, within a mere two years, the Great American Family network (GAF), born from the vision of television maestro Bill Abbott, has started making impressive strides. GAF has occasionally secured a spot on the charts, proving its content resonates. It’s a testament that viewers are not only tuning in but genuinely enjoying what GAF brings to the table.

The Man with the Midas Touch

Bill Abbott isn’t new to the game. Many might remember him as the force behind Hallmark’s meteoric rise. Under his guidance, the channel went from being a mere blip on the TV radar to a household name. Remember the “Countdown to Christmas” on Hallmark? That was Abbott’s brainwave. Over the span of several decades, he transformed Hallmark into the go-to destination for heartwarming, family-friendly entertainment. And now, observing GAF’s budding success, it seems he’s well on his way to replicating that magic once again.

A Brief Glimpse into Great American Family (GAF)

Launched in 2021 by GAC Media, the Great American Family network has swiftly carved a niche in the vast television landscape. Available to approximately 59 million households, which translates to 51% of pay television viewers, GAF has bridged the gap for audiences seeking both secular and “soft” faith-based content. With availability across platforms like Xfinity, Spectrum, DirecTV, and streaming services like Philo and Sling TV, its accessibility is widespread. Though GAF is a fresh face in the media world, its dedication to wholesome, family-oriented, and faith-friendly programming is rapidly positioning it as a preferred choice for many viewers across the nation.

GAF’s Star Power Ignites the Screen

In the vast galaxy of TV networks, the GAF is swiftly becoming a shining star, and much of that brilliance can be attributed to its ensemble of talented actors. Just this past Saturday night, viewers were treated to “A Harvest Homecoming.” This film not only made an impressive mark on the crowded cable charts but also reunited the captivating duo of Trevor Donovan and Jessica Lowndes, eliciting nostalgic memories of their “90210” days. The film’s success is even more commendable given the promotional hiccups faced due to a SAG strike.

Yet, the allure of GAF extends beyond just this pairing. The network boasts icons like Laurie Loughlin, whose grace never fades. Additionally, Danica McKellar, with her enduring “Wonder Years” charm, Candace Cameron, fondly remembered as the heart of “Full House,” and many other talented actors, all contribute significantly to the depth of GAF’s lineup.

With such a star-studded lineup, GAF, in just two years, promises an entertainment future that’s not only bright but stellar.

New Kid on The Block with Old School Charm

Understanding the significance of GAF’s progress is akin to imagining moving to a new school and trying to find your place amidst everyone’s established cliques. That’s GAF for you — the new kid on the block in the TV landscape, looking for its own niche. In just its second year, it’s as if they haven’t just claimed a seat in the crowded cafeteria but are now also getting those sought-after invites to the coolest parties.

Final Thoughts

Entering the world of TV is daunting. But armed with experienced leadership, star power, and compelling content, GAF is showing it has the potential to not just fit in but excel. Here’s to more years of top-notch entertainment from GAF!

#great american family

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skippyv20 · 1 year

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Julie Burchill Spectator

10 Dec 2022

Coffee House

Julie Burchill

Harry and Meghan want to destroy the House of Windsor

10 December 2022, 7:53am

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Comments

When I coined the phrase ‘The Grabdication’ in The Spectator two years ago, I had no concept of exactly how grasping the Duke and Duchess of Sussex would turn out to be. Having found Frogmore Cottage insufficiently close to California even after £2million of public money (since paid back) was spent on renovations, I still imagined that Meghan would eventually settle for a few tiaras and some voice-over work. I had no idea that what this grim pair were actually seeking was the destruction of the House of Windsor, ostensibly on the grounds of racism, but actually because this was the one chance two mediocre people would get to feel mighty.

It’s unnerving that she calls him ‘H’ which is slang for heroin – and also the campest member of Steps

People always say ‘soulmates’ like it’s a good thing, but such relationships can easily turn toxic. Individually Harry and Meghan seemed happy enough, neither of them too bright, but both living lush lifestyles they didn’t have to break sweat for. Then they met – and it was attempted murder of the reputation of the Royal family. As a life-long republican, I’ve been surprised to find myself on the side of an institution I’ve never liked.

Considering the flight of the Sussexes, it’s easy to draw a parallel with another American divorcee who turned the head of another weak prince and led him by the genitalia away from his family. But while Edward and Mrs Simpson peregrinated around the elite watering-holes of twentieth century Europe, Meghan had one distinct destination in mind – her hometown of Los Angeles, where she had unfinished business with the entertainment industry, having ‘peaked’ while simulating fellatio in a car in an episode of the re-booted Beverly Hills, 90210 in 2008. Hollywood was done with her – but she wasn’t done with Hollywood.

With her recent podcast Archetypes, Meghan finally started to show talent as a thespian – and to remind one of a certain legendary actress. Acting is, after all, merely playing pretend – that her wedding was celebrated in the streets of South Africa, that her baby’s nursery caught fire, that she is a victim rather than a vastly privileged woman living in a house with circa 19 toilets. Sadly, the iconic actress she is beginning to resemble is Norma Desmond, the tragic heroine of Billy Wilder’s Sunset Boulevard, who shares her vast mansion with a devoted retainer who discovered Norma, married her and made her a star and now acts as her servant, humouring her deluded fantasies of a comeback. If Archetypes was the opening act, then the Netflix series – this bouncing hundred-million-dollar baby – is the main attraction, if ‘attraction’ can be used to describe a pair of multi-millionaires taking the best part of six hours to gossip about imagined slights from their families and congratulating themselves on being non-specifically Special.

Appropriately for a pair who have a nodding acquaintance with the truth, even the trailers were false, showing paparazzi pursuing not our humble heroes but rather Katie Price – if I was her, I’d issue a statement expressing my outrage at being linked with these publicity-seeking shysters. Then there was another monstrous regiment of view-hallooing hacks – at a Harry Potter premiere years before H&M ever met. And more paps chasing Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen from a courtroom. For a pair so savagely harassed, they don’t appear to have any footage of themselves being harassed savagely – where’s a bunch of bloodsucking hacks when you need them?

Billed as A NETFLIX GLOBAL EVENT, I must say I felt a tinge of nostalgia as I settled down to watch ‘Volume One’ – AKA the first three episodes, if you’re not a jumped-up half-wit. In this age of atomised entertainment, it was a lovely feeling to be involved in a televisual milestone that would surely bring a fractious nation together, like Angie and Den’s divorce in EastEnders but not as subtle. Warnings of LANGUAGE, DISCRIMINATION flash up, with a soundtrack from an afternoon TV funeral plan commercial; we’re aware straightaway that we’re watching the world’s most expensive home movie, with the texts and the Facetimes and the photo-booths snaps, the pair snogging, snuggling, hiking, biking and being ‘goofy’. Meghan reminisces about her lovely life as a mid-ranking actress in a Canadian cable show; ‘Then came H – talk about a plot twist.’ (It’s unnerving that she calls him ‘H’ which is slang for heroin – and also the campest member of Steps. He calls her ‘M’ like James Bond’s scoldy boss-lady, which seems somehow appropriate.)

‘This is a great love story’ Harry smarms, but it’s far more like a surreal rom-com – When Harry Met Wally (Simpson). M’s girlfriends are dragged out as a geek chorus assuring us of the loveliness of Meghan – that old ‘I’m a girl’s girl’ shtick that some females use. It was, H affirms, pretty much love at first sight – ‘Everything I’ve been looking for’. That’ll be her wearing your mother’s favourite perfume. Diana is the third wheel in this marriage; knowing how strong public affection is, the Sussexes have cynically hitched their wobbly wagon to her dead but still somehow dynamic star. ‘I am my mother’s son’ Harry proclaims 17 minutes in, ’Meghan is so like my mum…the same compassion, the same empathy…’ Archie is held up to touch a framed photo of Diana? ‘Who’s that?’ coos Meghan. She should know, as she was obsessed with her according to her best teenage friend Misha Nonoo, despite her protestations to the contrary.

It probably wasn’t such a great idea, at 23 minutes, to have footage of the shy young Elizabeth the Great vowing to give her life in service; the two women are so unalike that they barely seem the same species. Never mind, here’s Harry doing his feminist thing, murmuring sadly about ‘the pain and suffering of women marrying into the institution’ over a photo of Kate and Sophie looking sad – but they’re pictured at Remembrance day, of course they look sad! Should they be high-fiving each other? Both H&M take swipes at their families; H mentions that his friends in Botswana ‘brought me up’ – take that, King Dad! – while M seeks out her bete noire sister Samantha’s abandoned daughter to testify that the only child’s (as M claimed to be) only sister is a wrong ‘un.

‘Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go’ sings Harry, which seems like epic trolling, considering he seems to spend most of his time swanning around on private jets and playing polo. He has the shiny-eyed zeal of the newly-converted preacher in a religion of two – fine when talking about human dignity, but a bit weird when talking about hummingbirds. Moaning about how they’re both children of divorce, M reads a self-pitying poem she wrote as a girl about having two of everything and wishing she had only one. Then why has she got so many toilets? Her ‘confiding’ style in particular gave me the ‘ick’ as the kids say – like an actress in a tampon commercial reassuring the audience about absorbency. At times there’s an ‘Uncanny Valley’ feel to the thing – like the protagonists are actually playing themselves in a Hallmark Channel biopic.

Summing up, I speak very much as one who had the typical Meghan ‘journey’ (to use a word she and ‘Haz’ probably favour) starting out making a drooling fool of myself over her (see Spectators passim) and then going off her when her entitlement and hypocrisy became evident. I expected to despise this documentary series, but it’s actually a little scary too. Seeing that the pair are so interested in mental health, I wonder if they understand that they may be – in my layman’s opinion – suffering from both paranoia and persecution complex, and that it might be wise to seek professional help? After all, Meghan allegedly not being allowed to access psychiatry was one of the things which turned them against the Firm in the first place. Now they can do it to their hearts content.

Looking back, Meghan may well treasure this documentary as her optimum moment, her place in the sun, with the eyes of the world on her at last; I can imagine her watching this in a darkened room, her beauty fading, like Norma Desmond in her lonely Californian chateau. For Harry, it may be the moment when he lost his family for good, and so cause him increasing sorrow. In the future it’s likely that – like every toxic couple from the Macbeths to the Depps – they may turn on each other, heightening the performative aspect of their relationship even further. There is something of a Red Shoes danse macabre about this now – neither can ever go home again, and neither can appear to help themselves.

But on the other hand, it is amusing. Most character-driven humour is alchemised in the gap between what people think they are and what they actually are; writing in The Spectator in October in the wake of M’s Variety interview, I advised, ‘If Meghan can provide “content” on this level – creating a character we love to hate on a level with an Alan Partridge or a David Brent, or a deluded show-business buffoon comparable with Count Arthur Strong – throughout the coming winter of discontent, maybe we should at last just cave in and award her the applause she craves. Because comedy gold such as this does not come knocking every day.’ Like a pair of lap-dancers accusing people of looking at them, in a vehicle so cheesy that it makes Richard Curtis look like Jean-Luc Godard, they are the natural heirs to the Kardashians – the Carcrashians. And though I blush to admit it, I can’t wait for the next ‘Volume’ to drop.

WRITTEN

Matthew Parris

Lady Hussey and the truth we dare not speak

Brendan O’Neill

When will Harry and Meghan leave us alone?

Sadie

Great article! Thank you❤️

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