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watchingninjago-archive · 5 years

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Season 1, Episode 6: The Snake King

Fun Fact: When I write these reactions, I have them titled “jaime fucking dies, round (episode number) (episode title)”.

[21:27] wellll we’re at an hiderence huh

[21:06] while i don’t doubt that city is real, don’t you have like… all the serpentine to work with, dude? c’mon. you can be more efficient

[20:14] YUUUP. it’s real.

[19:44] and back to the skyship!

[19:39] The poor, poor postie.

[19:07] Status quo has… quite shockingly to me as I had kind of low expectations for the early seasons… not been held. The flute is lost, you can’t exactly get it back, so congrats you dingdongs, you’ve screwed yourselves over. I mean, not exactly award winning stuff, but more consequences than I thought there’d be.

[18:44] (they start arguing over who will be the green ninja) ~Mama mia, here we go again~

[18:34] okay first off don’t insult Zane I swear to god, secondly, jesus christ you all lose your chill quickly with this subject.

[18:23] Woo! New armor/uniforms! That’s fun.

[17:48] Dude, considering you caused this whole mess I can see why you want to help (also you’re still kind of an obnoxious child and it’s an amusement park), but c’mon Lloyd! You’ve got zero training.

[17:31] Ooh, it’s more individualised as well! That’s cool.

[17:05] dJDJDJD YOU ARE… LATE TO THE PARTY.

[16:57] Oh! The inexplicable robot samurai from last episode was there first. Welp! That’s why you shouldn’t take too long changing your uniforms.

[16:23] How the hell did you get there so fast? And if Nya’s there too, then who’s watching Lloyd?

[16:18] I BEAT HIM TO THE JOKE! HA

[16:03ish] I audibly gasp-laughed at that one. Maybe I just have a terrible sense of humor, but whatever, man. You’re (the readers are) not my dad.

[15:47] “Your own competition”? That will go… so well…

[15:14] Chaotic energy. Staying behind just to taunt Zane. The fucking… audacity.

[15:11ish] ...And waving to him as you go! Bloody showoff but kind of funny in a way.

[15:01] Okay but who I’m just gonna dub the Robo-Samurai is just actively screwing with the ninjas now. Either that, or they’re slowing down?

[14:45] The Robo-Samurai, probably : this bitch empty… YEET [14:25] That was fair game, though. The Robo-Samurai could’ve just let him die if he wasn’t quick enough to get off the tracks in time. Like… field of view, ever heard of it? Lucky that at that height the Robo-Samurai saw him at all! It’s why young children have to be really careful crossing roads: the cars literally can’t see them.

[14:14] wow best babysitter of the year award

[13:53] Welp, hello, Serpentine.

[13:38ish] Snake bus! We’re going on the snake bus! It’s a bus just for snakes! You sing this entire comment to a tuuune~

[13:30] C’mon, kid, it’s just maracas next to a snake head thing. It’s not the real thing, is it?

[13:24] OOOH. That can’t be a very good disguise, but it’s something.

[12:53] Welcome to Snake City, kid.

[12:07] Pythor’s just gone and had it, huh

[11:33] And like, yeah, actions do have consequences. Pythor has the flute, he’s using it to control the other Serpentine and guarantee his position, and none of this would’ve happened had the ninjas been more competent when this all started.

[11:10] Preemptive F, Lloyd.

[10:45ish] And bbaaaack to the skyship. We’re discussing the Robo-Samurai because at least it’s not them fighting over who gets to be the Green Ninja again.

[10:25] BRAVO, STUNNING, BRILLIANT JOB BABYSITTING HIM DUDE,

[9:50] And they just break into the surveillance system. Yeah, we can just skip over that part. No need to show that. Just a simple cut.

[9:03] And, once again, welcome to Snake City.

[8:38] Goddammit. He’s in a cage.

[8:25] “This comes to an end today.” (The group begins to sprint into the arena but are suddenly cut short by an inexplicable cage landing on them.)

[8:16] Aaand they’ve lost their weapons. Good job, guys.

[7:52] “Things may really come to end today.” (Zane says, sounding extremely calm.)

[7:40] Oh are you shitting me? The Robo-Samurai’s working for the Serpentine? But they saved the ninja’s asses last episode… Was that genuine or just part of a plan?

[6:55] and so they fight.

[6:18ish] And with all our powers combined…

[6:06] ...They make a slingshot. Intentionally fed by our villains, which is suspicious

[6:01] And so the yeeter has been yeeted.

[5:40] UHHH WHAT THE HELL

[5:24ish] Oh, wise move, Robo-Samurai.

[5:13] Oh, farewell, Robo-Samurai. Couldn’t have sacrificed like… one of the suit’s arms.

[5:00] Crap, Lloyd’s still gonna be stuck there for now.

[4:58] The Samurai’s here to kick even more ass! Somehow!

[4:42] And they’ve got the golden weapons back! That was also an issue.

[4:15] Welp, Lloyd’s STILL THERE.

[3:35] Samurai found dead in Miami

[3:15] Oh, hi Nya. Finally get to kick some ass.

[2:52] girl power, hell yeah!

[2:46] mmmwatchasaaaaymmmthatyouonlymeantwelll

[2:10] Okay but that’s neat how talented Nya is with all that mechanical stuff. At least she has her mecha thing to get her back home.

[2:00ish] Though that means back when Kai dressed up as a girl and then put himself on the traintracks so he could catch the Samurai… that’s gonna be funny to rewatch.

[1:15] Close one, dude.

[0:50] Time for the obligatory “poor Wu his family is just fucking wild” comment.

[0:45] Also he knows about Nya being the Samurai, huh

[0:40] “Iron sharpens iron, and sibling sharpens sibling.” I should’ve waited for that obligatory comment.

#ninjago #jaime watches ninjago season 1 #lego ninjago #ninjago season 1 #the snake king

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yoosungiib · 6 years

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Ray Route Guide 🌸

After having finished Ray Route today, I want to try and help those who are struggling to get to his route or through his route. Here you’ll find tips for getting to his route, each branch, emails and chatrooms.

I hope this can be beneficial for those who needed or wanted help. This may or may not contain spoilers, depending on what you considered to be actual spoilers. Tips tell you kinda what is in the branch, on a general line, but not the story line.

General things to know before starting:

To get the good ending, you need at least 17 guests invited and confirmed.

Need to have Another Story Unlocked (250 for Ray, 500? for both)

If you miss a chatroom, they’re 15 hourglasses.

To go ahead 24 hours, it ranges from 165-190 hourglasses.

To make a phone call if you don’t have a calling card, it is 10 hourglasses. You do not get a refund if they don’t answer

Before playing this route: If you are younger than 15, please be mindful of the disclaimer and be aware that this route is not like the other routes — there is violence, abuse, and TW’s. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, please do not play.

For getting to his route:

Be kind to Ray -- that is a given.

Be mean to V -- I know, I know, it’s hard but you have to. I’m sorry!

Treat the RFA as AI’s

Hunt for secrets -- any chance you get to talk about secrets with V or the RFA, take those chances.

If you are going to take/make any calls, take Ray’s

Tips for day 5 to day 6:

Branch #1.

Personally, I think this was the easiest branch to pass, but incase you are struggling to get past this branch, here are some tips for getting to the second branch.

Be kind to Ray — still be kind and supporting to him.

Don’t let him criticize himself — whenever he criticizes himself, which is sadly a lot, always tell him that it’s not true, that he is worth it, and that you care for him. Do not tell him he is pathetic, do not constantly tell him to get back to work.

No stress, don’t over work — During chats with the RFA, you get chances to talk about stress and overworking. Tell the members not to overwork themselves, that it’s ok to take breaks.

Don’t tell Ray or the RFA to only focus on work — encourage breaks and hobbies. This kinda goes with the tip above but I thought I would make it a separate one.

Be kind to the RFA, V, and Seven — You do not have to be mean to them. Yes, Ray still dislikes them at this moment, but what you want is peace.

Peace — Be a peace maker. Don’t choose a specific size. Don’t tell Seven that he can’t beat the hacker, don’t encourage any attacks on the hacker. Encourage peace and tell the RFA and Ray when you can that you want this whole thing to end in peace.

Be suspicious of the prime minister — if you have played Seven’s route and done the secret ending, you know the prime minister is Seven and Saeran’s father. BE SUSPICIOUS. Don’t be excited about it.

Tips for day 7 to day 9:

Branch #2.

Some of what you need to do for this branch is the same as the first one, so the first four are copy and pasted from the one below — this is mainly for day 7.

The parts added on for day 8 and 9 are kinda tricky! Saeran is going to be a massive ass to you during this time — he will be rude, mean, borderline… abusive, but don’t worry, it’s only two days of angst! It’s painful, but if I can get through it, then I know you can!! ;)

Be kind to Ray — still be kind and supporting to him.

Be kind to the RFA, V, and Seven — You do not have to be mean to them. Yes, Ray still dislikes them at this moment, but what you want is peace.

Be assertive — Saeran is going to be mean to you. Very. There is no going around it. And as much as you are going to be kind to him, whenever he says something mean to you, you must disagree with it.

Disobey him — don’t do what he says. Point blank.

Remain kind — still stay kind to him, but like I said above, don’t let him treat you disrespectfully. Though there is no getting around it, just don’t agree with any of the mean things he says.

Care for Saeran — You have options to say you miss Ray. Take those options, but when you get the options to say you care about Saeran and his well being, TAKE THOSE. This is really important, especially after something happens to Saeran that leads to you getting options to care and worry for Saeran. (rationally, you are worrying for both, but you want to focus on Saeran)

Understanding — understand why he is doing this to you. He is under the influence of the elixir. He is confused, he is scared, he is being manipulated, brainwashed and he is scared of others hurting him. Be aware and say that.

Tips for day 9 to day 10:

Branch #3

You’re so close! You’ve got this! This is one of the easier branches with the less heartbreaking stuff, although, there are some heart wrenching scenes too.

Encourage him to leave Mint Eye — You are given an amount of options to tell him to not betray Rika, to stay with her, and to remain in “paradise”. Do not take any of those options. Encourage him to leave.

Don’t ask him about Ray — don’t keep asking him where Ray is and if he can come back. Tell him you care for Saeran as much as you care for Ray. Also tell him when you can that you understand and realize they are the same person.

Be worried about Seven — something happens to Seven and Vanderwood during day 9. Be concerned for him, as well as Saeran when you have the chance.

Don’t say you want to be part of Mint Eye — I think this is self explanatory. You have a lot of options to side with Mint Eye and what they are doing. Do not take those options.

Don’t blame V — Encourage him to not blame himself and to have trust in the rest of the RFA. Encourage him to tell his secrets, but not in away that is accusing.

Be loving! — be loving and kind to Saeran. You guys love each other!

Chatroom Times

Day 5

00:21 —> Building of Dream w/ Story Mode

02:44 —> Poem of Dawn

06:03 —> Regrets

09:12 —> Crisp Crisp

12:21 —> Unforeseeable Life w/ Story Mode

14:37 —> What’s Wrong? w/ Story Mode

16:13 —> Is it True!?

17:45 —> Seven, finally? w/ Story Mode

19:23 —> Small Coincidene w/ Story Mode

21:13 —> Importance of Patience

23:09 —> Congratulated Workaholic

Day 6

00:55 —> Swamp of Emptiness w/ Story Mode

03:17 —> If I was Stronger

07:40 —> Busy on a Fine Day w/ Story Mode

10:23 —> Stabilization of Body and Soul w/ Story Mode

13:10 —> Evaluation w/ Story Mode

14:50 —> Always New w/ Story Mode

16:37 —> Daffodil

18:52 —> Evil Within Me

20:49 —> Suddenly Afraid w/ Story Mode

21:21 —> Need Dark Energy! w/ Story Mode

23:19 —> At the top of the work pile w/ Story Mode

Day 7

00:58 —> To become the child of… w/ Story Mode

03:01 —> At This Night

06:17 —> Mr. Han w/ Story Mode

08:43 —> Continuously Thinking w/ Story Mode

12:03 —> Cooperation

14:44 —> Art of Efficiency

16:27 —> Power Save Made Today

18:31 —> The Roots of Pathetic w/ Story Mode

20:06 —> Window of Truth w/ Story Mode

21:43 —> My True Identity is

23:59 —> Strange w/ Story Mode

Day 8

01:37 —> Rapid Contact w/ Story Mode

03:46 —> What Should I Do With You? w/ Story Mode

07:21 —> In My Opinion

09:03 —> FINALLY! w/ Story Mode

11:16 —> I Really Want To Know w/ Story Mode

13:58 —> Very Shocking w/ Story Mode

16:04 —> V’s Decision w/ Story Mode

18:31 —> Sorry. This is all my fault.

20:48 —> Cornered

22:14 —> My Treasure w/ Story Mode

23:39 —> Survival of the Fittest w/ Story Mode

Day 9

01:29 —> Don’t you want to try this? w/ Story Mode

03:37 —> What have you done to me?

06:18 —> Self Inflicted w/ Story Mode

09:11 —> Now Alone w/ Story Mode

12:16 —> Don’t Need You Anymore w/ Story Mode

14: 31 —> How Does It Feel? w/ Story Mode

16: 56 —> Get Right Into It! w/ Story Mode

17: 39 —> It’s not too late w/ Story Mode

19: 47 —> Empty Shell

21: 31 —> An Okay Suggestion w/ Story Mode

23: 13 —> Are You Okay? w/ Story Mode

Day 10

01:46 —> Want to Think Positively

03:18 —> Thought it was a joke w/ Story Mode

06:21 —> What happened last night w/ Story Mode

08:36 —> I’ll Tell Everything

11:49 —> Best Present w/ Story Mode

13:56 —> Unexplainable Situation

16:13 —> Return of Jumin w/ Story Mode

18:37 —> Please Tell w/ Story Mode

20:22 —> Contact w/ Story Mode

21:39 —> Unfolding Clues w/ Story Mode

23:48 —> Only One Way

Day 11

08:00 —> {I forgot to record the chat name, sorry!}

12:00 —> Party!

Emails

Betago: Behind the Cheerleaders Waiting List Go to an Idol Concert

Bodyguard: Check names and invitations Play with Elizabeth 3rd Be next to Mr. Han

Database: MC (your name) Yoosung Kim Not Yet Finalized

Eyeglasses: Long Sighted Glasses Blue light blocking glasses Heart Shaped Glasses

Housekeeper: Agency Silence is Gold Don’t use a fake name - I cannot remember what the option was. I just know you are not suppose to say “Choose a fake name!” haha

Insurance: Terms Marriage Cochlea Insurance

Legendary Poet: Rice Cake in the shape of cakes And undone If ind the Mass of he Plate We also have Bowls of Rice!

Pillow Love: Munch Take your blanket We have a thin blanket

Politics: Voting National Sovereignty Antartica the Lang of the Penguins

Prorhythmist: Slick, Dope Lit Music Nail Art to Train Racing Games

Reviewer: Credibility Because you are lazy Cosmetic Reviews

White Hacker: Strike First! Unknown Anonymous

Youth: Night Owl Read for Self-Improvement Health Management

Please feel free to reblog this to help others! Reblogs and comments much appreciated -- Good luck!!! <3

#Saeran Choi #Ray Choi #Mystic Messenger Ray #Mystic Messenger Saeran #Mysme #Mystic Messenger #Mystic messenger guide

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underappreciated-characters · 5 years

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PROMPT LIST 1

1. “All I know is one of us is right, the other is you.”

2. “You did what?” “It wasn’t as bad as last time, I swear.”

3. “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” “Not until four.”

4. “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.”

5. “Remove your hand or I will rip it off and beat you to death with it.”

6. “Ohh, so you think I’m cute when I’m angry? Well, get ready because I’m about to be gorgeous.

7. “I’m going into the woods to scream for a bit, anybody wanna come with?”

8. “I am either going out for ice cream or to commit a heinous crime. I’ll decide in the car.”

9. “So... I’ve just realized... that I’ve been shot.”

10. “I love it when someone insults me. That means I don’t have to be nice anymore.”

11. “I don’t care if you’re panicking, just do it quietly.”

12. “Excuse me, I have to go make a scene.”

13. “Yeah, I have a plan.” ”Is it a good one?” “Yeah, I have a plan.”

14. “There are at least seventeen ways this could have gone better. Literally. I’m counting them right now, you moron.”

15. “I have to go... iron... my cat”

16. “You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

17. “Your existence gives me a headache, go stand over there.”

18. “You’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug.”

19. “Everything here can kill you, but I can do it most efficiently.”

20. “Look at you, sacrificing things for others! When did you get a heart? I had thought you lost your moral code.”

21. “Oh my God. You’re in love!”

22. ”Just know that I love you. I love you with all my fucked up, piece of shit heart.”

23. “If you don't terrify people a little bit then what's the point?”

24. “Is this coffee bitter?” “No, it must be you.”

25. “Wow, can we just pretend for one second you're not a complete douchebag?”

26. “You're weird.” “Sorry.” “No that was a compliment.”

27. “I will be the first to tell you that I am a terrible liar.”

28. “underestimate me. That'll be fun.”

29. “I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this brunch.”

30. “Just please pretend you’re my date.”

31. “Why are you such an ass?” “Everyone has to excel at something, right?”

32. “Did I ever tell you about the time I created a cult?”

33. “You're judging me.” “Its that I do- its a hobby of mine.”

34. “Well, the best of the best wasn't available. So we got the best of the mediocre.”

35. “Was that supposed to hurt?”

36. “Give me the books!” “Only if you promise not to kill anyone with them.”

37. “Here hold my dignity... I've got some sketchy shit to do.”

38. “What I lack in common sense, I make up for sarcasm.”

39. “...on the bright side I am not addicted to cocaine.”

40. “I've found puddles deeper than you.”

41. “Well, aren't you a little ray of pitch black?”

42. “Okay, listen, I'm not saying that I'm awesome and that you should definitely love me, but... yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.”

43. “You know that I love you right? “ “Yes.” “ Okay well since I love you I want to tell you how much of a dumbass you're being.”

44. “Fuck! I was so smart five minutes ago! What happened?”

45. “What happened to your face?” “Beauty.”

46. “You make me nauseous.” “Its called love. Youll get over it.”

47. “I'm not playing hard to get, I literally hate you.”

48. “How do you want your coffee?” “Like my sense of humor.” “tasteless?”

49. “You shake when you get angry.” “I do not!” “You're like an angry lil’ chihuahua.”

50. “oh God, are those abs real? Can I touch?” “I don't know. I fell objectified now.”

51. “Your self-help group is turning into a cult.”

52. “I could run a marathon. RIght now. I'll do it.” It's literally 2 A.M.” “I peak at 2 A.M., you should know this.”

53. “If there's anything I've managed to do pretty well in my life, so far, it's not dying. So we're off to a good start with that one.”

54. “I'm naked and afraid!” “I'm clothed and traumatized!”

55. “Can someone explain to me, in small words, why is being assigned this mission?”

56. “Are you there?” “Physically, yes. Mentally, debatable.”

57. “Why aren't you dating him?” “Because I’d destroy him.” “He’d been into that!”

58. “How are you feeling? “Well, my eyebrows don't hurt.”

59. “If my day gets any worse. I'm asking hell if they have an exchange program.”

60. “My grandmas is a badass. She can break a man's nose in a single blow AND she knits dope-ass sweaters.”

61. “Why does everyone fear you?” “Because i can do things they cant.” “Like?” “Mind my own business, for one.”

62. “Damn it, why aren't you obeying the laws of physics?”

63. “All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

64. “Its no surprise to me that things turned out this way.”

65. “How was I supposed to know that you were telling the truth when you said that danger was your middle name?”

66. “That's not exactly a good coping mechanism.”

67. “She is the embodiment of snorting chlorine and then drowning yourself in a pool.”

68. “I'm bitter and complicated. It's one of my charms.” “I don't think you know what that word means. Or how to count.”

69. “You scared me!” “Well, I am naturally terrifying.”

70. “Are you decent?” “Not morally, but I am wearing pants if that's what you're asking.”

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junker-town · 7 years

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The Giants were bad and STILL won, plus 7 other things we loved about Week 11 in the NFL

There was dancing, a 4x100m relay, Brock Osweiler wasn’t happy, and possibly even some pee!

Another week, another NFL game in which the New York Giants continue to look bad and leading to the eventual demise of Ben McAdoo’s title as head coach. Except this week, they actually won a game while being their typical bad selves — and I mean that in the worst way possible.

After calling for a fake punt on fourth-and-1 that was actually successful early in the game, McAdoo figured, “Why not go for a running back pass inside the red zone?” Because he believes lightning can strike the same place twice.

It ended as well as you might imagine a Shane Vereen pass could go — straight into the hands of the defense.

It was at that point the Chiefs should have made the Giants pay dearly, and yet we still had this terrible back and forth of a game that didn’t feature another touchdown after one early in the second quarter. In fact, the Chiefs never even led at any point.

Those first five weeks of the season when they looked like the best team in football seems like it happened during the Obama presidency — but I digress.

Despite their own efforts to give the game away with things like an unsportsmanlike penalty for headbutting another player, the Giants received their own gifts from the Chiefs, like a Travis Kelce interception, and Alex Smith’s second pick of the season.

But once they got the game into overtime at 9-9, Roger Lewis — a guy you’ve probably never heard of until about two seconds ago — came down with one of the best catches from Sunday to put the Giants in position for their game-winning field goal.

Ben McAdoo is like a bad high school student who keeps bringing home Ds and Fs, only to bring home the rare B- to keep his parents content just enough. Though his parents — owner John Mara and GM Steve Tisch — already gave him that dreaded vote of confidence. They’re gonna kick his ass out of the house sooner or later.

Here’s what else we loved in Week 11.

The Texans prep for a tryout for the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo

Lamar Miller and the Texans celebrated his touchdown against the Buccaneers by pretending to be a 4x100m relay race team.

I gotta say — Miller seemed to kinda jog that one out, it’s good he went first and not as the anchor. DeAndre Hopkins, Braxton Miller, and Bruce Ellington made up for it.

But if the Texans are serious about this group celebration business, they have to throw the ultimate twist into this thing like the Steelers would. In Cool Runnings fashion, they should pretend to be a bobsled team next week when they get into the end zone.

I know the Packers did that already. But the continuation of this storyline would be creative. Then, they can just continue re-enacting Disney movies in the end zone.

Plus, the Texans’ fans don’t have much to look forward to, if we’re being honest with ourselves. That ended as soon as Deshaun Watson’s knee went bad.

The Ravens, much like the Jets, danced their butts off

“Jets Dance To Anything” was a criminally underrated meme from earlier this month. On Sunday, the Ravens did their own dancing to BlocBoy JB’s “Shoot” in a similar fashion:

Upon first seeing this, I thought of two things:

They could have been reminiscing about Petey Pablo’s “Raise Up.”

My favorite Thanksgiving song of all time that was born last year — the #unameitchallenge.

The Ravens were actually OK in my book last year, before asking for prayers on whether or not they should sign Colin Kaepernick a few months ago, and made this video with the song:

When Thanksgiving is a week away .#UNameItChallenge http://pic.twitter.com/airU7f4Hov

— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) November 18, 2016

The #unameitchallenge is up there with some of the best holiday songs of all time (though please don’t get it twisted, nothing touches Luther Vandross).

If you aren’t giving the #unameitchallenge multiple spins leading up to Thanksgiving, reconsider how you operate. Please believe I’ll be blasting that on the way to Mr. and Mrs. Lyles’ house on Thursday in anticipation of a wholesome meal.

Sean McDermott benched No. 5, so his replacement threw 5 picks

There has not been a more Kermit Sipping Tea moment in NFL history as there was when Nathan Peterman went out on a football field and threw five interceptions after being named the starter over Tyrod Taylor.

It’s hilarious because that’s one thing Taylor has actually been great about:

Tyrod Taylor has the lowest interception rate in NFL history (at least 1000 attempts).

— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) November 19, 2017

I honestly hope Taylor just kept a bottle of Gatorade up to his mouth like Kermit for the entire first half as this disaster was happening. Not only did the Bills get rocked by the Chargers, but they also took a blow to their postseason hopes.

Give Sean McDermott credit though, Peterman was more efficient than Taylor. At least, when it came to the rate at which he was throwing interceptions:

Nathan Peterman now has three interceptions on eight pass attempts today. Tyrod Taylor has three interceptions on 254 pass attempts this season.

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) November 19, 2017

We could have stopped there, but Peterman had to get a couple more in there, obviously.

To sum Peterman’s afternoon up in one tweet and image:

Every Charger in this photo has intercepted or will intercept Nathan Peterman today. http://pic.twitter.com/jnvTXVwgxQ

— SB Nation GIF (@SBNationGIF) November 19, 2017

The last time Peterman had that many picks, he was probably drafting in franchise mode in Madden. This will probably be a game he will try to keep from the grandkids, until they punch the old man’s name up into Google and see everybody talking spicy about him and these dank memes.

Cardale Jones got a laugh out of the Bills

The Bills traded quarterback Cardale Jones this summer to the Chargers. You might have heard or read recently (like, one minute ago) that Bills quarterback Nathan Peterman had a five-interception game.

The Chargers won that game 54-24. While Jones didn’t play, he still felt good:

⚡️

— Cardale Jones (@Cardale7_) November 20, 2017

He should. Because not even Cardale Jones would have thrown five interceptions in 14 passes. That man came off the bench and won a national championship.

Brock Osweiler said what most of us think when we see he’s starting a game

You know, the Broncos were so wholesome when Papa John’s seller and part-time quarterback Peyton Manning was still under center yelling “Omaha!”

Now, we’ve got Brock Osweiler yelling “No! God damn it, no!”

"NO! God dammit, no!" will forever be my favorite Brock Osweiler pre-snap call http://pic.twitter.com/kEN9bOGOzd

— Andrew Joseph (@AndyJ0seph) November 19, 2017

The video is evergreen as long as The Tall Guy is playing quarterback.

Blake Bortles shot a skyhook

Blake Bortles isn’t great at throwing a football, despite his starting status as a quarterback in the National Football League.

Sunday, he actually did something good by trying out Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s famous skyhook to get the ball to Leonard Fournette and avoid a sack. It worked in terms of avoiding the sack, though it didn’t travel too far.

While we can appreciate Bortles’ effort, he’ll never be a Laker. He’s barely a Jaguar.

IS THAT PEE?

This is Green Bay Packers defensive tackle Mike Daniels, and that looks like pee.

Before we determine whether or not this is actually pee, I highly recommend all NFL players squad up with the staff on the sideline, and find a way to relieve yourself like Dexter McDougle.

Teamwork makes the pee work, or something.

After the game, Daniels denied it was pee. “I sweat a lot down there. Everybody was like, ‘Did you pee your pants?’ No, I did not pee my pants,” Daniels said via ESPN’s Jason Wilde.

OK, man.

OTHER THINGS FROM WEEK 11

BIG GUY INTERCEPTION!

All kickers need to be emergency kickers.

Mike Zimmer thought he was being cool, then regretted it.

Case Keenum pulled off a throw with some Madden pocket presence.

Packers players kept turning invisible. Yes, it’s possible.

Mike Wallace had one of the best catches of the day, and followed it with a Lambeau Leap.

What does the Fox say.... when it’s dead?

Dede Westbrook is a smooth criminal.

Challenges were weird on Sunday.

The Browns were their most disciplined in 55 years and it didn’t matter.

Mitchell Trubisky had his comeback effort trashed by a kicker.

The Packers got shut out at home EXACTLY 11 years after the last time they were shut out at home.

The Saints came back to beat Washington. I wonder if Kirk Cousins likes it?

Dre Kirkpatrick got stripped by a ghost.

Marshawn Lynch sat for the U.S. anthem, and stood for the Mexico anthem.

Stephen Gostkowski almost kicked this one back to the States.

Tony Rmo took his predictions international.

“WHAT DID THE FIIIIIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?!”

Sunday scores

Ravens 23, Packers 0

Patriots 33, Raiders 8

Lions 27, Bears 24

Jaguars 19, Browns 7

Buccaneers 30, Dolphins 20

Vikings 24, Rams 7

Saints 34, Washington 31 (OT)

Giants 12, Chiefs 9 (OT)

Texans 31, Cardinals 21

Chargers 54, Bills 24

Bengals 20, Broncos 17

Eagles 37, Cowboys 9

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robertvasquez763 · 7 years

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The Prince of Parsimony: Squeezing 70 MPG from a Chevy Cruze Diesel

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This is a simple hypermiling test. Take a 2017 Chevrolet Cruze Diesel, turn off the A/C, keep the windows rolled up, get on a California freeway, set the cruise control at 55 mph (10 mph under the limit), and see what sort of fuel economy results. Touch the brakes and throttle as little as possible, and return with a mileage number.

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In May, we published an instrumented test of a nearly identical Cruze Diesel automatic and reported on how it performed on C/D‘s usual highway fuel-economy loop—200 miles at 75 mph over the Michigan flatlands. As Joseph Capparella reported, that Cruze returned a thick 52 mpg, delivering a beat down to the Toyota Prius by a 6-mpg margin on a loop designed to be a “real world” test, not optimized for ultimate parsimoniousness. This time, we (by which I mean me) would actually try to get good mileage.

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So I acquired a Cruze Diesel sedan practically identical to what Capparella had reviewed. Both had the 137-hp, aluminum turbo-diesel 1.6-liter inline-four, both wore 16-inch wheels wrapped in Goodyear tires, and both had the optional nine-speed automatic transmission.

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On the ninth day of June, a Friday, the slate-gray Cruze was filled at pump 5 at the Winchester 76 in Goleta, California. The tank was topped off until the automatic stop on the pump handle snapped itself off twice (in between, it was left to rest for 10 seconds while fuel settled in the tank). Winchester 76 was chosen because it pumps diesel, it’s at the far northern edge of the Santa Barbara metropolitan area beyond the reach of likely traffic jams, there was a nice downhill entry onto the northbound lanes of the US 101 freeway, and it’s close to where I live.

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I started driving at 1:30 p.m., there was no wind, and the temperature was 72 degrees. Barely touching the throttle, I let the car get to 55 mph as slowly as it could. Once at 55, I engaged the Cruze’s cruise control, started playing the Tony Kornheiser Show podcast on my iPhone, and didn’t get off the freeway until the Traffic Way exit in Arroyo Grande about 77 miles later. After driving through Arroyo Grande, I feather-footed it back onto the freeway southbound. And at 55 mph I re-engaged the Cruze’s cruise. C’est La Cheeserie.

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Except for a stop in Santa Maria at Central Coast Hot Rods and a late lunch in adjacent Orcutt, I stuck to my freeway troll. Back at the Winchester 76, I pulled the Cruze back up to pump 5 and again refilled the tank with diesel following the aforementioned procedure endorsed by C/D‘s tech wizards.

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The driving experience? Utter, boring misery. Headed northbound, I was passed by clapped-out old Hondas, a Ferrari FF and a McLaren 570GT flying in formation, and trucks hauling stacked junkers. And on the way south, a ’64 Ford Fairlane blew by me. I only once had to slow, for a timidly driven Nissan Altima. The ventilation system in the Cruze works great with air conditioning, but with A/C off the interior got sticky and stinky with Pearley sweat.

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While this long section of the 101 freeway is lightly trafficked, it has geographic challenges. There’s a long grade skyward south of Nojoqui Falls, and the road snakes up and down along the foothills that frame the Santa Ynez Valley. You want boring photos? I’ve got boring photos of fuel going into a gray Cruze.

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The bottom line: I started this trip with 3346 miles showing on the odometer, and it ended with 3505. The trip odometer showed 159.0 miles. It took 2.257 gallons according to pump 5 to fill the car back up. The math is simple, but the result is astonishing. This works out to a gob-smacking 70 mpg. I was expecting 60 or maybe 65 mpg.

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I stipulate to plenty of caveats here. The drive relied on the Cruze self-reporting its odometer, there are likely much better ways to measure how much fuel was consumed, and no one from C/D’s crack tech staff was on hand to add some subtlety and elegance to the exercise. This is back-of-the-envelope science performed by a guy with a Poli Sci degree from UC Santa Barbara. And despite all that . . . 70 mpg is an epic number. The official fuel capacity is 13.7 gallons, so go ahead and try to match it. You should be able to experience extreme boredom for more than 900 miles before needing to refuel.

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The supertrick elements at play here are the turbo-diesel’s outstanding flat torque curve that peaks at 240 lb-ft at only 2000 rpm and the wide spread of gears in the Ford and GM co-developed 9T50 nine-speed automatic. Despite running a tall 3.17:1 final-drive ratio, the engine was able to stay in the deep overdrive of ninth gear practically the whole trip. That kept engine speed at a resolute 1500 rpm almost the entire trip. The one time the transmission shifted down was climbing the long Nojoqui Grade, and even then it only rose to the 2000-rpm torque peak.

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Instrumented Test: 2017 Chevrolet Cruze Diesel Automatic

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Cadillac Diesel Program Continues, Despite Opel Sale

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Chevrolet Cruze Research: Reviews, Specs, Photos, and More

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There’s plenty to criticize about the Cruze Diesel, as pointed out in that earlier full road test. The ride is unforgiving, the handling is uninspiring, and it’s not roomy. But the fuel mileage—EPA-rated at 31 mpg in the city and 47 mpg on the highway—is stunning. Hybrids—including Chevy’s own Volt—will beat its efficiency in stop-and-go traffic, where regenerative braking and batteries give them a definite edge. But for constant-speed highway commutes? Diesel kicks ass. In light of Volkswagen’s diesel-emissions debacle, it’s questionable whether diesel passenger cars have a future in America.

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But . . . 70 mpg.

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from remotecar http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/caranddriver/blog/~3/KaiAbw8szDk/

via WordPress https://robertvasquez123.wordpress.com/2017/06/23/the-prince-of-parsimony-squeezing-70-mpg-from-a-chevy-cruze-diesel/

#Engines #car #engines #motor #remotecar #The Prince of Parsimony: Squeezing 70 MPG from a Chevy Cruz

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table-talker-blog · 7 years

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A Guide to Not Drinking Coopers

So after much turmoil and heartache, you’ve decided to boycott Coopers. Great! You’re commitment to the plight of the legalisation of marriage equality is respected and lauded, you can pat yourself on the back. If you’ve not heard about the whole fiasco, Google it, I’m not going be another guy adding more fuel to that debate because it’s redundant at this point. Especially since things have cooled off by this point, as is the nature of modern media. For myself and many others, Coopers has been the go to beer for quality at it’s price point, it’s one of the best value for money beers on the market. The problem is now, if you have decided to boycott, is what your new, affordable, refreshing, staple of your fridge beer is, and it’s a tough choice. The quick and easy option is to switch onto classic Australian lagers. XXXX Gold, VB, West End etc., an easy and affordable option. Only issue is, while those beers have their place in our culture of being a smashable, shitty lager that you split a “dirty 30” (a beautiful edition to the Australian lexicon) with a mate or 2 at a house party and get rowdy, they leave much to be desired. So now what do you drink? So here I have crafted a guide of your new replacement beer options. The criteria? Price, Taste and Availability: The beer must sit around the same price of a carton of the Coopers range (between $40-$55 to be generous), it must be relatively easy to source (AKA, at your outer suburbs local Dan Murphy’s, BWS etc.) and most importantly, stack up in quality to the Coopers range. And the results are in and here are my top 8 recommendations: TECATE

Style: Lager (Mexico) Price: ~$45 Availability: Medium Quality: 7/10 Hailing from across the pacific, this is Mexico’s version of a smashable lager that’s not Corona. It has that malt driven quality that you expect from your West End ilk, but for me, it comes across far cleaner and crisper, and is just a cut ahead quality wise. It’s a great all day smasher. (I may be biased because Tecate takes me back to getting ripshit in a San Francisco hostel. Nothing beats the taste of nostalgia). FURPHY’s

Style: Ale (Australia) Price: ~$45 Availability: Great! If you live in Victoria Quality: 9/10 Now this is a real competitor. A simple, balanced, clean ale with classic fruit driven flavour and a pleasant bitter finish. At the price, it’s really does rival Coopers in it’s glory. Only problem is that outside of Victoria, it’s an ordeal to source, and frankly, it’s not that good for you to go to that much effort and it’ll make you re-asses how much you really care about your Coopers boycott. ASAHI/KIRIN/SAPPORO

Style: Lager (Japan) Price: ~$50-55 Availability: Impossible to miss Quality: 8.5/10 Japanese lagers have entered a very close and dear spot in my heart over the last 12 months. I’ve learned to love their crisp, simple balance and ice cold, they are exceptionally refreshing. Problem? They tend to stoop about five or so dollars above the Coopers bracket (a few more for Sapporo), but in my mind they are a wise investment. The choice of the 3 for me is Kirin for how crisp and easy it goes down, but if you want a more malt driven lager with balance, Sapporo is hard to beat. They all taste like classic Japanese engineering: effective, affordable, precise. RED STRIPE

Style: Lager (Jamaica) Price: ~$55 Availability: Medium Quality: 8/10 Now this is one of the most under appreciated brews around, a simple fun little lager. The bottle, is a personal favourite little design of mine, similar to the classic VB “Green Grenade”, but in a cuter, little red number. But what comes through flavour wise, is this really crisp clean lager with a nice little apricot flavour with subtle malts that balance out to a fine beer. JAMES BOAGS PREMIUM

Style: Lager (Australia) Price: ~$50 Availability: Impossible to miss Quality: 7/10

This is what I call “price efficiency”. Coming in at around 5% ABV, this is a stronger number and is not as sessionable as most of the aforementioned beers. None the less, it’s a solid lager that’s quite refreshing, despite being heavy on the hop and malts. The balance is there regardless. JAMES SQUIRE 150 LASHES

Style: Pale Ale (Australia) Price: ~$55 Availability: Very Common Quality: 7.5/10 Known to me as “Dad’s Favourite Beer”, this is one of the introductory craft beers, it was certainly mine. It’s a clean and simple pale ale with wonderful tropical and citrus flavours, albeit leaning a bit too hard on the malts, making it a little less crisp than desired. The price is a little steep for the quality in my mind, but that being said, it’s hard not to love. CARLSBERG

Style: Lager (Denmark) Price: ~$45 Availability: Very Common Quality: 8.5/10 Don’t worry about Heineken or Stella Artois, this is your European lager of choice in the bracket. Crisp, balanced and beautiful, a glorious number that does down like nothing else ice cold on a summers day. PACIFICO CLARA

Style: Pilsner (Mexico) Price ~$50 Availability: Uncommon Quality: 9/10 Now this is the holy grail of cheap pilsners. It’s like a tropical holiday in a bottle, every sip I can see myself on the beach in Baja, watching kids surf and eating fish tacos. It’s does everything a good pilsner does, full flavoured, crisp, refreshing. If you can get this at a good price, do yourself a favour and don’t think twice.

#beer #stinkpiece

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