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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Retirement and How to Retire
How to start saving for retirement
Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?
Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.
Season 4, Episode 5: “401(k)s Aren’t Offered in My Industry. How Do I Save for Retirement if My Employer Won’t Help?”
How To Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year
Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment
Your School or Workplace Benefits Might Include Cool Free Stuff
Do NOT Make This Disastrous Beginner Mistake With Your Retirement Funds
The Financial Order of Operations: 10 Great Money Choices for Every Stage of Life
Advanced retirement moves
How to Painlessly Run the Gauntlet of a 401k Rollover
The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting
Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?”
You Need to Talk to Your Parents About Their Retirement Plan
Season 4, Episode 8: “I’m Queer, and Want To Find an Affordable Place To Retire. How Do I Balance Safety With Cost of Living?”
How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money?
Ask the Bitches: “Do Women Need Different Financial Advice Than Men?”
From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings
Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?”
Speaking of advanced money moves, make sure you’re not funneling money to The Man through unnecessary account fees. Roll over your old retirement accounts FO’ FREE with our partner Capitalize:
Roll over your retirement fund with Capitalize
Investing for the long term
When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation
Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not
Investing Deathmatch: Traditional IRA vs. Roth IRA
Investing Deathmatch: Stocks vs. Bonds
Wait… Did I Just Lose All My Money Investing in the Stock Market?
Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE)
The FIRE Movement, Explained
Your Girl Is Officially Retiring at 35 Years Old
The Real Story of How I Paid off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years
My First 6 Months of Early Retirement Sucked Shit: What They Don’t Tell You about FIRE
Bitchtastic Book Review: Tanja Hester on Early Retirement, Privilege, and Her Book, Work Optional
Earning Her First $100K: An Interview with Tori Dunlap
We’ll periodically update this list with new links as we continue writing about retirement. And by “periodically,” we mean “when we remember to do it.” Maybe remind us, ok? It takes a village.
Contribute to our staff’s retirement!
Holy Justin Baldoni that’s a lot of lengthy, well-researched, thoughtful articles on the subject of retirement. It sure took a lot of time and effort to finely craft all them words over the last five years!
In case I’m not laying it on thick enough: running Bitches Get Riches is a labor of love, but it’s still labor. If our work helped you with your retirement goals, consider contributing to our Patreon to say thanks! You’ll get access to Patreon exclusives, giveaways, and monthly content polls! Join our Patreon or comment below to let us know if you would be interested in a BGR Discord server where you can chat with other Patrons and perhaps even the Bitches themselves! Our other Patrons are neat and we think you should hang out together.
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#retirement#retire#how to retire#retirement account#retirement fund#retirement funds#401k#403b#Roth IRA#Traditional IRA#investing#investors#investing in stocks#Capitalize#401k rollover#personal finance#money tips
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Great Strategy (Hack) to Grow Wealth for Retirement
#youtube#HSA#retirement planning#wealth building#investing#health savings account#401k#IRA#403b#compounding wealth
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OneNorthStar: Navigating Financial Success
OneNorthStar, a reputable financial advisory firm, is dedicated to guiding individuals and businesses toward financial prosperity. With a commitment to personalized service and a team of seasoned financial advisors, OneNorthStar strives to meet the diverse needs of its clients.
Comprehensive Financial Planning: At the core of OneNorthStar's offerings is comprehensive financial planning. The firm works closely with clients to understand their unique financial goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon. This collaborative approach allows for the creation of tailored strategies that encompass investment planning, retirement planning, risk management, tax optimization, and wealth preservation.
Investment Planning Expertise: OneNorthStar's team of experienced financial advisors excels in crafting investment portfolios that align with clients' objectives. By assessing risk tolerance and financial circumstances, the firm constructs diversified portfolios incorporating stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and other instruments. The goal is to optimize returns while managing risk, ensuring a solid foundation for long-term financial growth.
Wealth Management Beyond Investments: The firm goes beyond traditional investment planning, offering comprehensive wealth management services. This encompasses a holistic approach to financial well-being, including estate planning, tax strategies, and ongoing portfolio monitoring. OneNorthStar understands that financial success extends beyond investment returns, incorporating a broader perspective to safeguard and enhance clients' wealth.
Client-Centric Approach: OneNorthStar prides itself on its client-centric philosophy. The firm values open communication, transparency, and building long-lasting relationships. Client testimonials underscore the positive impact of the firm's guidance on financial outcomes, reinforcing OneNorthStar's reputation for reliability and excellence.
Educational Resources: Recognizing the importance of financial literacy, OneNorthStar provides educational resources to empower clients in making informed decisions. Whether through articles, webinars, or one-on-one consultations, the firm aims to enhance clients' financial knowledge and confidence.
Fascinated by the power of money
Vikram is fascinated by the power of money and deeply believes that everyone should have lots of it. That’s why he started onenorthstar to transform people’s financial future. Supported by his amazing family, today Vikram shoulders the challenges in people’s journeys to financial freedom through ONS. So that every person experiences financial well-being, and has the opportunity to create more of their life.
Contact US
Need financial advice from Vikram?
Connect today!!
Advice Session available in:
1 on 1 in person.
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T: +1 203-343-0880
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A: 80 Fourth St, Stamford, CT 06905
#Portfolio Manager#Financial Planning#Retirement Planning#Roth 401K#401K#IRA#403B#Investment Management#529 plan#brokerage account#Tax efficiency#Legacy Creation#Financial Planning Services#Financial Advisors#Financial Planning Firm#Finance Blogs#Post Retirement Plans
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It is Overly Challenging To Rollover My Retirement Savings
I have been wanting to write this blog on retirement for a few weeks now, but I have held back. I held back because of some wise words from Brene Brown. She has shared before it is wise to not give a presentation when you are feeling very upset/emotional about a situation.
The book Brene Brown said this in was Daring Greatly. A Wonderful book and I would highly recommend it. It was my favorite…
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Some of my favorite out of context comments/ asks/ replies for trolls posting
#trolls#text#out of the context what warrants these comments 🤔#the 403b one kills me#cause u know what brother ive got one 💀#403b investment and im posting about trolls yaoi 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#omg rigor morris 😂 also makes me laugh a lot
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Will we ever see peacock Jon with dogboy Elias? Will anyone else in the Magnus Institute join the party?
You will. You have. Some classic, very normal interaction between dogboy Elias and peacock Jon in season 1. Nothing weird about these two at all. They are the most normal men in the room.
Because I am insufferable, I will share my season 1 and season 3 (spoiler-minimal) archival crew beneath the cut.
I'm not totally settled on all the designs. (I think Tim might be better as a stag. I'm indecisive, as always.) Yes, these are pencil sketches I made in a notebook during my lunch break. Anyways. For S1: Martin is a squirrel, Tim is a retriever, Sasha is a cat, Jon is a peacock, and Elias is (of course) a dogboy like in canon. For S3: Melanie is a badger, Basira is a melanistic fox, Daisy is a wolf, and Peter is a seal.
Also, I have assigned Jon and Elias manlet status. Jon, because he is completely devoid of swag. Elias, because he contains entirely too much. Melanie must also be short because she is an obvious narrative foil to Jon. She is a quintessential failgirl in my eyes.
#more blather with less art#anonymous#i would let dogboy elias mismanage my 403b anyday#do you love that i refuse to remember how to draw a suit. i think it's very cool and assertive of me.#look i like tim as a deer but also he has such dog energy. which takes a very sad turn in season 3 but like--#its archivin time
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Empowering Educators: Maximizing Returns with the 403b Plan
Educators play a vital role in shaping the future, and at One North Star, we believe in empowering them to secure their financial futures. One of the most valuable tools available to educators for retirement savings is the 403b plan. In this blog, we'll explore the benefits of the 403b plan and how working with a trusted 403b financial advisor in Connecticut, including Stamford and Hartford, can help educators maximize their returns and achieve their long-term financial goals.
Understanding the 403b Plan:
The 403b plan is a retirement savings plan specifically designed for employees of certain tax-exempt organizations, including educators. Similar to a 401k plan, the 403b plan allows educators to contribute a portion of their salary on a pre-tax basis, which can help reduce their taxable income and grow their retirement savings over time. Contributions to the 403b plan are typically invested in a variety of mutual funds, annuities, or other investment vehicles, providing educators with the opportunity to build a diversified portfolio tailored to their individual risk tolerance and financial goals.
Benefits of Working with a 403b Financial Advisor:
Navigating the complexities of retirement planning and maximizing the benefits of the 403b plan can be challenging, which is why working with a knowledgeable financial advisor is essential. At One North Star, our team of experienced 403b financial advisors is dedicated to helping educators make informed decisions about their retirement savings. We provide personalized guidance and support every step of the way, helping educators optimize their investment strategies, minimize taxes, and achieve their long-term financial objectives.
Customized Solutions for Educators:
As trusted 403b financial advisors serving educators in Connecticut, including Stamford and Hartford, we understand the unique needs and challenges facing educators when it comes to retirement planning. We offer customized solutions tailored to the specific needs of educators, helping them maximize their retirement savings and secure their financial futures. Whether you're just starting to save for retirement or you're looking to optimize your existing 403b plan, our team is here to help you every step of the way.
Maximizing Returns with One North Star:
At One North Star, we're committed to helping educators maximize their returns and achieve their financial goals. With our extensive knowledge of the 403b plan and our dedication to client satisfaction, we provide educators with the tools, resources, and support they need to navigate the complexities of retirement planning with confidence and clarity. Partner with One North Star today and take the first step towards a secure and prosperous financial future.
Conclusion:
The 403b plan offers educators a powerful opportunity to save for retirement and secure their financial futures. With the guidance and support of a trusted 403b financial advisor, educators can maximize their returns, minimize taxes, and achieve their long-term financial goals with confidence. Contact One North Star today to learn more about our comprehensive retirement planning services and start planning for a brighter tomorrow.
NOTE: Past performance is no guarantee of future results. A risk of loss is involved with investments in capital markets. Please consider investment actions in light of your goals, objectives, cash flow needs, time horizon and other lasting factors.
#best financial planning services in ct for indians#financial advisor in connecticut#financial advisor for indian families in ct#financial advisor in massachusetts#indianfinancialadvisorma#indianfinancialadvisorny#indianfinancialadvisorinct#financialplanning#indianfinancialadvisor#finance#403b plan
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Hi Bitches! Do you know anything about 403(b) accounts?
We sure do! Very basically, they are retirement accounts for non-profit workers (and a few other jobs). They work almost exactly like 401(k)s. We wrote about them in depth here:
Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?
Did we just help you out? Tip us!
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got off the phone with my 401k provider and started crying to the nice lady from the 403b plan about it /peace sign/
#and that's yuri babey#it takes so little to make me cry#why do people like to raise their voice at me#because of my primal flinching prey response?#because it makes them feel big?#because people are mean?#because the world is cold?#bunny talk#sometimes the world is good though
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When you are old - Human AU, professors, there was only one office, Rated E
Aziraphale was an old soul.
He always had been. From the time he could talk, it was said he was wise for his age. Intelligent, dignified, he enjoyed the finer things in life. A well-versed book of poetry penned by an esteemed writer, the firm press of piano keys to a time-worn tune. He loved old movies and ancient gardens and hand-me-down baking recipes and long-forgotten, grown-over graveyards. Some thought him odd, set in his ways, stuffy. But he loved what he loved, and it made him happy. Why would he ever change?
Aziraphale lived a simple life. He woke each morning with a prayer of gratitude for his historic two-bedroom home. He showered and shaved and dressed for the day. After tea and breakfast, he mounted his vintage Azor Amsterdam (a very good bicycle indeed), and set off for the campus. His leather book bag rested safely in the forward basket like Toto and Dorothy.
He was getting on in years where he sometimes had to walk and push the bike up the hill near the park. Fifty had come and gone, but he still felt seventeen. Even if his body had accumulated extra baggage, his mind was sharp and agile. And besides. Age was just a number.
Aziraphale was lucky. He had a good job as a tenured professor in the English Department, teaching three classes a semester. His colleagues were more than amiable, several of them having become fast and firm friends. He had a nice stash put away, portioned his salary into a decent 403b, with enough money left over for frivolous things like root beer floats with chocolate ice cream and summer-colored sprinkles.
All of that changed with the entrance of one Anthony J. Crowley.
It was August. The summer was winding down, and the school year gearing up. Staff had returned, faculty soon to follow. His building had scheduled an informational meeting to welcome newcomers and catch up with the old. The department head had oodles of Big Ideas he wanted to share, even though Gabriel didn’t have the greatest track record of follow-through.
Still, the appetizers were always lovely, and the conversation was scintillating.
The glorious smells of freshly ground coffee and sweet, steamed milk welcomed Aziraphale as he entered the eating establishment. It was a venue he’d visited twice before. They offered an eclectic menu, vegan and vegetarian-friendly. If Gabriel did anything right, it was to put on a good show with an inviting atmosphere. And this place met the bill.
Aziraphale waved at Sociology-Anthology. The professors there shared a secretary with the English Department. This meant that whenever anything needed doing, the two departments would cross over, meeting in her office, fighting over territory and who needed what first.
Criminology was there, too, at least two out of the three of them. Though Aziraphale didn’t have an imagination open enough to figure out what curating future police officers had to do with literature and poetry. It was probably just the collapse of resources; more cuts to save the bottom line.
He stopped at the first table for a glass of sparkling something, pausing to sniff its contents before tasting. It proved to be something along the spectrum of apple to pear. Passable, if dry and tart.
He greeted Technical Writing with a handshake, accepting the slap on the back in congratulations for Aziraphale’s newest published work. It was nothing, really, just a spot of poetry he’d been working on for a few years. But sometimes it was nice to be recognized.
“Oi! Professor!”
The sound of that melodic voice, pure and simple and joyous, brought a surge of warmth in Aziraphale’s chest. He’d grown quite fond of the two adjuncts over the past few years. Taken them under his wing, so to speak. They’d both blossomed and flourished and branched out in the fullest way possible, and the radiant smiles on Eric and Muriel’s faces were a sight to behold.
“Hello, Dears,” he crooned, laying a gentle hand on each of their shoulders. Muriel had sprouted patches of freckles over their soft, flat nose, and Eric sported beautiful, long, sparkling lashes. They both looked well-rested and refreshed, eager to begin another year. And eager to spill with the latest gossip.
“Did you hear?” Eric hissed, beckoning Aziraphale to take a seat with them. “They’ve hired a new prof in Cosmology?”
Muriel, too excited to wait for his answer, flapped their hands and picked up where Eric left off. “He’s straight off sabbatical, working on his book. Something about gravity waves, and LIGO?”
Aziraphale sucked in his chin and tilted his head. ”Hm. Cal-Tech. Very impressive. I imagine they’ve brought him on to pick up the pace with retention rates in the scientific fields.”
Eric chortled and shared a look with Muriel. “Oh, he’ll retain ‘em, all right. I have a feeling they’ll be filling his classes like wildfire. The waiting lists will be miles long.”
“Yeah,” Muriel gushed. Their cheeks flushed rosy with excitement. They raised an unhurried hand, fanning themselves daintily. “He’s definitely going to create waves.”
Aziraphale huffed. “I suspect you young people crush on all the older professors.”
Eric looked scandalized. “No! Not on you, not at all!”
Muriel was backtracking faster than Aziraphale’s humility could keep up. “Of course not! You’re more of a father figure.”
Eric nodded enthusiastically. “Right. Father. Where this guy is more of a Daddy.”
The two youngsters giggled, leaning in towards each other, sharing a moment of unbridled glee. Aziraphale smiled, amused, mildly curious. If he read Generation Y’s signs correctly, the newest Physics instructor was handsome.
Aziraphale was decent enough looking. He took care of his skin and his teeth, practiced self-care, and rode his bike daily. If he happened to overindulge a bit on – well, on everything – who in their right conscience could equally judge him?
“How was your summer,” Aziraphale redirected, noting the delightful way Muriel leaned onto Eric’s shoulder. There was something platonic about it, something wholesome, endearing. Two of his favorite people in the world getting on so well warmed his heart.
There was a shared retelling of travels, to the Ozarks, the Upper Peninsula, the ocean. Both spoke with such animation it was like being part of the live-action. Aziraphale nodded and exclaimed and generally felt proud of the quests the two young people had accomplished.
As they spoke, Aziraphale’s mind drifted. Back to the unfinished drawing on his easel. To the rising bread dough on his windowsill. The new sheet music on the piano. He hadn’t traveled, but he still had a lovely summer himself, alone, unbothered. At home. Part of him wished he were back there right now.
But time marched on, and future generations depended on him. Who would guide them through dangling participles and that delicate tipping point between over- and under-describing?
Aziraphale folded his hands in his lap and smiled as his colleagues drew up memories and painted exciting retellings. And when Gabriel entered the building, commanding the attention of all gathered there, Aziraphale considered escaping through the back door on the way to the lavatory.
He didn’t, of course. He stayed. Aziraphale stayed and he listened to the corporate wafflings of a man so far in the bureaucratic shift, he risked falling into the abyss, never to be Humanities again.
Aziraphale humored his boss, greeted him warmly when his speech was done. It wasn’t Gabriel’s fault he was a pompous blowhard; he’d been designed that way.
“So,” Aziraphale posed, taking a step back when Gabriel leaned too far into his space. “We’re to move offices again? I’ve heard?”
Gabriel stared blankly at him for two seconds too long. “Oh! Yes! That’s right! They’re remodeling the offices in Tower to take care of the leaky roof. And that means we all get to be a little bit cozy for the first semester.”
Aziraphale didn’t like the sound of that. He’d only occupied his single office for three years now. After sharing for years before that, constantly shifting office mates, the thought of having another was unbearable.
“Oh? When will we find out where –?”
“All in good time,” the man drawled, rocking back on his heels. “There are still two weeks left until freshman orientation.”
Gabriel patted Aziraphale’s shoulder awkwardly, bouncing with misdirected importance along to Human Resources. He didn’t know. They were weeks from the beginning of the semester, and the department head didn’t know where their offices were.
“Oh, dear.”
Imagine Aziraphale’s surprise when, exactly thirteen days from then, he received an email from the chancellor.
We appreciate your patience as we work to secure the safety of our faculty, staff and students. Office numbers are now posted on the Campus Portal.
Imagine Aziraphale’s surprise when, upon logging in, he discovered he was to be sharing an office in the science building with the new professor in Cosmology.
Aziraphale pinched the bridge of his nose just below the reading glasses and sighed.
He packed up his bike the very next day, bright and early, intent on claiming the desk with drawers that locked. He parked his bike, looped the chain through the tire, and hefted his bag over one shoulder.
The Science Building lay perpendicular to the English Department, cozying up to the two-story library and campus store next door. It was an older section, much older than Aziraphale’s short tenure. It was notorious for musty smells and loud, echoing halls, and not because of the experiments in two large labs.
The halls were empty, his footsteps falling on dull, worn tiles. He followed the numbers on doors, searching for the assigned seven-seven-seven, armed with a key and a foreboding sense of doom.
Aziraphale needn’t have worried about drawers. The two desks that occupied the space didn’t have any. There were no windows, no bookshelves, no storage space at all. Just aging dark wood paneling on the walls, the two pieces of Ikea furniture pushed together like naughty children forced to hug each other in a timeout.
The heavy plank of a door closed behind him, rattling the ancient hinges and Aziraphale’s composure.
He exhaled heavily, set his bag against the wall, and pushed one of the desks into the far corner. Then he collected his nameplate and desk calendar out of his personal things. He set them on his desk and staked claim to that portion of the room.
With no chair, there was little else he could do. He’d have to wait until Maintenance chased down something suitable and —
The door flew open, banging against the wall with the force of a sledgehammer. A clatter sounded in the hallway, and a talk, dark, gangly someone shoved a chair on rollers through the entryway.
“Oh!” Aziraphale exclaimed, quite taken aback. The chair skidded to a stop as it connected with the desk. And then another chair rocketed into the room, colliding with the other and toppling over.
“Goodness!”
If Aziraphale was shocked and startled by the unannounced entrance of flying furniture, it was nothing compared to his reaction to their pilot.
It wasn’t the dramatic upsweep of burgundy-red coils and the angular frame. It wasn’t the warm, California-brown skin, the completely unnecessary dark glasses worn indoors. And it wasn’t even the hipster black-on-black ensemble that hung off the man’s shoulders in an unfairly attractive way. At any other time, the combination of these characteristics would send Aziraphale’s heart into overdrive.
But the way the man said his name was unforgivable.
“Hiya, ‘Ziraphale! How’s it going?”
He completely left off the first syllable, negating the importance of his identity, a proverbial thumbing of his nose at any sense of first impressions.
Aziraphale’s disgust caught in his throat. Never mind the positively aristocratic nose, the sensual hint of an underbite. The unmistakable air of confidence, the flirty tease of hair on his chest. It didn’t matter he swaggered inside like he owned the place, bending elegantly to set the chair right, smiling with moviestar quality and impeccable grace. He was a flash bastard, and Aziraphale decided he strongly disliked the man.
The new professor leaned against the desk in the center of the room, crossing one long, thin leg over the other at the ankles. He grinned unabashedly, waiting for Aziraphale’s response, capable-looking fingers spread wide over his knees.
“Oh, excuse my manners,” he exclaimed, abruptly pushing away from the desk and taking two steps in Aziraphale’s direction. “Anthony J. Crowley. Gen R.”
He offered a hand, peering over the sunglasses with wide, striking amber eyes. For a moment, Aziraphale was caught looking, drinking in the animal-like qualities within, like a wolf, or an eagle. But it would take a lot more than a stunning set of peepers to get Aziraphale to shake a man’s hand who couldn’t even get his blessed name right.
“Charmed,” he hummed, lips set firmly against the surface of his teeth, hands clenched at his sides. Mr. Crowley raised one eyebrow quizzically, a feat Aziraphale had attempted and failed many times. He straightened from his forward-inclined state, kicking out one foot and cocking his hip to the outside.
“So, we’re to be ‘mates, eh?”
Aziraphale didn’t trust the way he drew out the ‘m,’ making it seem dirty, insinuating innuendo in the vilest manner possible. It was crass. It was uncultured. It was – well, it was infuriatingly alluring.
“Appears so.”
Aziraphale watched as Mr. Crowley’s gaze swept from tip to toe and then back again, ending with a coy smile and the smacking of pink lips.
“Any allergies?”
“What?”
“All-er-gies.” He strung it out as if Aziraphale were stupid. “You know. Rashes, hives, uncontrollable sneezing. That kind of thing.”
Aziraphale huffed, drawing himself to his fullest height as if he were above such trivial chatter. “I heard what you said. I just needed clarification.”
Mr. Crowley’s chin dimpled as he nodded. “I’ve got a carload of plants I’ll be stashing here. Brightens the atmosphere. Cleans the air.”
Aziraphale scoffed, gesturing to the absolute water closet of an office. “There’s hardly room for two people, let alone decorations.”
“Oh, they’re not just for decoration,” the man argued, shifting from one foot to the other, still grinning. “They’re family.”
Before Aziraphale could open his mouth to protest, one such specimen appeared in the doorway, a broad-leafed, pod-bearing monstrosity held securely in the arms of one Muriel the Adjunct.
“Oh!” They startled, allowing the potted leaf-bearing object to be lifted from sturdy hands. “You’re here too! How wonderful!”
Aziraphale bit back the snarl that threatened to vocalize and forced a smile. “You’re helping. That’s – very kind of you.”
Muriel wiped their hands on their cutoff jeans. “Yes. Mr. Crowley needed a hand, seeing as his were full with the two chairs. Isn’t it great that he brought one for you as well?”
Aziraphale shifted his gaze from Muriel to Mr. Crowley, noticing the smugness with which the man slouched once more against the desk. “These are your chairs?” he asked, hoping he sounded appreciative of the gesture, even though he very much intended to procure a chair of his own, with much better lumbar support.
“Yep. One for you. One for me. Figured it was the least I could do, knowing what it can be like sharing an office with me.”
Aziraphale couldn’t determine whether the man was teasing or not. “That was – decent of you.”
“Wasn’t it now?” The strength of Mr. Crowley’s smile was as powerful as two suns. He really did think highly of himself, didn’t he?
Muriel cleared their throat, looked proud and absolutely honored to be carting the man’s things around like a servant. “Right. I’ll just run down and collect the rest of the plants.”
And they were off with the jauntiest of steps.
Aziraphale rounded on Mr. Crowley, intending to scold the man for taking advantage of Muriel’s kind and overzealous nature. But the professor had removed his sunglasses and was peering down that elegant nose, a self-assured grin on the most perfect of mouths.
It was honestly quite stunning.
“It was good to meet you,” the man crooned, voice dripping like the smoothest of honeyed concoctions. “I’m sure we’ll be great friends before the semester is through.”
Aziraphale highly doubted that. They didn’t seem to have anything at all in common.
“You as well,” he offered, never one to be impolite.
Anthony Crowley, with his suave hair and clothing, sun-kissed skin, and frankly unprofessional demeanor for one of such stature, gave a little salute and slunk past Aziraphale and out the door. There, he paused, backed up a step and leaned once more into the room.
“By the way,” he drawled, one hand on the doorframe, sunglasses dangling from long, manicured fingers. He nodded in the direction of Aziraphale’s cornflower blue cardigan. “Nice jumper. I have the same one. Wouldn’t it be wild if we both wore it on the same day?”
His smile widened to gremlin-like proportions, and then he disappeared, leaving Aziraphale wondering how things could possibly go more wrong.
He looked down at the soft cabled material, at the swell of his abdomen over the top of his substantial beltline, running a hand over the faint column of buttons from the shirt underneath. It was one of his favorites, wonderfully soft and incredibly comfortable. He looked over at the potted plant, thought of the youthful, energetic enthusiasm of Anthony J. Crowley. And suddenly, he felt very, very old.
“Well, ol’ boy,” he said to himself, reaching for his bag and pocketing his key. He’d forego moving the rest of his things for another day. He suddenly didn’t feel much like returning to work, anytime soon. “Looks like you’re in for one hell of a semester.”
On AO3
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If a university is a non-profit, they will often offer a 403b or 457b plan, but contributions from the university vary
stackexchange says this
mentally trying to figure how many people are over 25 and grad students based off of two random tumblr polls. unsuccessful. memory is bad.
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retirement 101: a very basic guide.
This is instructions without explanations to keep it short. Think of this as a recipe; if you are an expert cook you don't need a recipe, if you are a good cook you can improvise around a recipe. if you are a novice, just follow the recipe to get a decent result.
1) If your employer offers a 401k/403b match, *take advantage of it*. Even if you need the money in the short term, this is a good deal - they are giving you extra money even after you pay an early-withdrawal penalty. Estimated spoon cost: 1 Certainty of advice: 100%. do this.
2) if you have credit card or other bad debt that you don't pay off every month, pay it down as fast as you can. if you have multiple debts, pay down the highest interest rate first. it is okay to have minimal savings if you're paying down a credit card - you can always pull money back out of the card. Estimated spoon cost: 1 Certainty of advice: 90%. Definitely pay off your bad debt, but maybe have an emergency fund first if you feel the need.
2a) if you don't have a credit card or if all of your bad debts are paid off, save in checking or easy-access savings until you have 3 months of expenses saved up. This is your emergency fund and your monthly expense fund. Estimated spoon cost: 0 Certainty of advice: 100%. do this.
3) if you have at least $3000 more than 3 months of savings, open an account at Vanguard (https://personal1.vanguard.com/mmx-move-money/funding-method). Pick Roth IRA for your first account type, and put $3000 - $6500 in it to start, as your available cash allows. This money will be mostly unavailable until you retire. The benefit is that you don't get taxed on money you get from the investments. You can put another $6500 in it every year. You'll need to select some investments. See below for instructions on that. Estimated spoon cost: 1 Certainty of advice: 90%. There are *some* other retirement companies that don't suck, you might want to use them (Fidelity and Charles Schwab are not terrible, for example)
3a) if you have pre-existing 401ks from prior employers or whatever, roll them into Vanguard IRA. If they are Traditional (not Roth) 401ks you will need to open a Traditional IRA at Vanguard to roll into. This process will almost certainly require calling the 401k custodian repeatedly, and having them send the money to either you or Vanguard. Estimated spoon cost: 8 Certainty of advice: 50%. Leaving the money where it is costs ongoing spoons of remembering and managing, and employer 401ks are often suboptimal in terms of fees and investment choices. But if it's a decent custodian and management is nbd, leaving it is okay too.
4) If you have more available money than that, open a Brokerage account at vanguard. This is an *uninsured* and *unsheltered* account - you will be taxed on it and there is the potential for it to be lost. You'll need to select some investments. See below for instructions on that. Certainty of advice: 90%. It is possible to lose money this way, but the upside outweighs the downside.
Selecting investments:
$3000 - $6000: just leave it in the money market default account. Estimated spoon cost: 0
$6000 - $12000: put $5000 in VTSAX and select VTSAX for future contributions. Estimated spoon cost: 1
More: put around 80% in VTSAX and around 20% in VBTLX and select that for future contributions. Estimated spoon cost: 1
Certainty of advice: 70%. These are decent choices but may not match your appetite for risk and/or retirement horizon.
5) continuing work: contribute up to $6500/year into your IRA. contribute as much as you can afford to lock up into your company 401k, up to $22500/year. If your bank account grows much past 3 months while doing those things, move some into your brokerage account.
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Hey bitches!! Currently in the process of being hired for my first job out of college and I'll have a 403b plan. However, I don't plan to keep this job forever. Can you helpe understand what rolling over a plan means, or what happens to that money should I not get a job with a 403b/ 401k after this one?
Absolutely, my dove! Below I'll share our full guide for rolling over a 403(b) or 401(k)--functionally it's the same thing--but first I want to give you this piece of information:
Opt into your employer's retirement account. Even if you'll be moving on within a few years. Do it. We explain why in the link below.
How to Painlessly Run the Gauntlet of a 401k Rollover
Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here's 3 Ways That'll Fuck You Over.
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