#..... i think i might have overdone it a lil today but it all turned out fine i think lol whups whatever
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telling my friends theyre hot is not enough i need a real flirtationship 😤
#being aro is fun i enjoy it but i would enjoy it more if i had someone to be aro with#i do love [jokingly - platonically - consensually] flirting with my friends tho its fun#..... i think i might have overdone it a lil today but it all turned out fine i think lol whups whatever#icke
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Counting My Blessings...Yet Again
New Post has been published on http://ourlittledinosaur.com/counting-my-blessings-yet-again/
Counting My Blessings...Yet Again
Counting Ones Blessings Can Never Be Overdone
My son is almost 2 years old now, and I am feeling extremely blessed for a variety of things.
I could go on and on about how intelligent my son is and praise God he is hitting every milestone. I am thankful for his very life! Which, admittedly, he challenges me to save nearly every day as he tests out his ever growing strength and physical capabilities. And I’m so very grateful for my husband, with whom I am privileged to call mine. It’s such an honor and brings me so much joy to stand by his side and raise our son together.
What a Journey!
I want to highlight another blessing that I have been reminded of. It’s a portion of Lil Dino Daddy, Lil Dino, and my journey that is looked back upon as a very vivid, bittersweet time.
I’m thankful to still be breastfeeding my son. I have posted before on the benefits of breastfeeding. (I want to also write soon about the benefits of breastfeeding a toddler.)
Let God Lead – Be Prayerful
But today, what I want to highlight is the importance of bringing God unto your decisions, and very specifically the importance of doing so through prayer. You know, the more I read the Bible, the more it makes sense to me. Reading through the Psalms and Proverbs and seeing exactly what God says about how to deal with life is incredibly helpful and practical.
Although, there are days when I don’t read God’s Word (and severely regret it as it is the ultimate way to “think on good things”), there are days when I don’t pray as I should. It’s becoming more habitual as now my son is the one holding me accountable at meal times. 😉
Prayer is Easier When I’m Desperate
My prayer life was never as strong as it was when I was struggling to breastfeed my son. In those early days that turned into weeks, and then turned to months, I just kept asking God for this “good gift” for my baby.
Over the past several years, beginning with my pregnancy, my husband and I have been striving to get back to the basics of life and nature and the way God designed things to be. (For instance, how food is not only life giving, but healing as well!) We’re learning to be more frugal, to waste less, taking steps – baby steps – to be healthier and be more cautious about what we put in and on our bodies. To us, breastfeeding was the natural extension of that lifestyle that we are gradually moving towards. It was the healthiest, most natural, most nutritious, way to feed our child. It was right in line with how God designed it and I was failing!
However, with the support of Lil’ Dino Daddy and others, and through much prayer and petition to our Abba Father, we were successful!
Take Heart! Ask for Help. Rejoice in the Lord!
So please let me encourage any of you new (or seasoned) Mamas who might be struggling with feeling like a failure in some way. Lean on God. Reach out to Him and ask Him for your needs. He wants to help you and guide you. He wants to hear from you, (just like you would want to hear from that tiny baby in your arms once he or she has grown up!).
Also, look around you and ask others for help. Many people want to help, but do not know how unless you tell them specifically.
Remember, no matter how a situation turns out, to worship God. I took many an opportunity rocking my baby to simply sing and pray OUT LOUD.
James 5:11
“Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.”
May we pray for you?
Feel free to comment what’s on your heart below. I would love for this to become a community and a safe place for all Mamas to share and learn from one another.
Have a story to share?
Email me your story and we’ll work together to post it on the blog.
Contact me at [email protected]
Need Breastfeeding Help?
I used this resource many times in that early stage of breastfeeding. I reference it even now as we are thinking of night weaning. Thanks KellyMom for being an online support for me and a place for me to find answers to what I thought were unlikely questions.
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Unrequited Love [Ren/Grian/Impulse]
[Fanfiction Masterlist]
Grian smoothed down the fabric of the costume he was wearing and smiled at his reflection. Mumbo had teased him earlier when he’d seen Grian’s costume hanging inside the base, but Grian loved it. Sure, the guy who had sold it to him off-world might have thought Grian was buying it for his girlfriend, but that hadn’t stopped his excitement.
He was dressed in all black, a top held up by an array of leather belts, with translucent fabric attached to it’s back and sides, when Grian moved around it flew nicely behind him and the little pieces of glitter sparkled like the night sky. Below it he just wore some simple black pants… Well, simple apart from the fact they were so tight it had taken him a good minute to get inside.
Grian picked up the gloves from his bed, and pulled one after the other over his hand and arm, the soft satin gently caressing his skin. They stopped a bit above his elbow. He turned to look at himself in the mirror again and smiled.
There was a loud knock on his door and a loud string of curses escaped his mouth. Damn, was it already so late? He really should have taken less time doing his makeup, but he had just felt the need to put some on to complete the look.
Grian hurriedly stepped into his boots, pulling them up all the way to his knees. There was another knock. He grabbed the rest of his outfit and strode to the door of his mansion hurriedly, pulling it open just after a third knock, to look at Mumbo, hand still raised from knocking.
“Took you long e- Grian! Oh my word!”
Mumbo looked him up and down and Grian knew that look he had on his face, the way his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
“That is a rather... interesting look you got there. How in the world can you even walk in these?”
Mumbo was staring at the boots and Grian smiled as he looked down at the heel as well, shrugging slightly. “Lots of practice. It’s not that hard once you get used to it”, he said and then let his eyes travel over Mumbo. “You look adorable.”
Mumbo was still wearing his suit and from afar, Grian probably wouldn’t have even noticed a change. Mumbo had two cat ears clipped into his hair and when Grian leaned a bit to the side he could see a black tail attached to the suit pants.
“I wanted to go as a secret agent again, but I was warned that I would not be let inside then, because wearing sunglasses is apparently not a real costume.”
Grian giggled and finally put a little black hat atop his head. He had considered also taking a broom with him, but it would have been annoying to carry that thing around for the whole party. Mumbo offered an arm and Grian took it, letting himself be led down the stairs by his friend.
“You really should have dressed up as an angel. Then you could have gone an evening without the need to hide your wings. I bet the others would have been impressed by that costume”, Mumbo said thoughtfully.
Grian only shrugged. “Not spooky enough”, he mumbled, though that wasn’t the real reason. He didn’t want the other Hermits to see his wings. He didn’t want them to know. Mumbo only knew because he had found out by accident. Not even Ren knew he was a Watcher and they had been getting closer and closer lately.
Mumbo chuckled a bit, luckily not picking up on Grian’s unconfident thoughts.
“Or could it maybe just be the fact that Ren told you he had a thing for ‘sexy lil witches’? Though I think you might have overdone the sexy part a bit.”
Grian could feel the heat rising to his cheeks immediately, as his mind wandered to Ren. Mumbo had hit the nail right on the head. While he hadn’t dressed up as an angel because of personal reasons he probably wouldn’t have dressed up like this if it hadn’t been for Ren. His best friend just knew him too well.
“I just liked the costume. And I bet he was talking to Impulse when he said that. You know? His boyfriend? His very serious and long term partner? Even some stupid sexy costume won’t change that”, Grian replied, going from flustered to saddened. “Just this once. I just want him to look at me and think I’m attractive once. I want him to look at me even a tiny bit the way he looks at Impulse.”
“Grian, you know they love-”
“Do you think Xisuma will have a new suit again?” Grian interrupted Mumbo suddenly, raising his voice slightly. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to think about it. And while Mumbo gave him a knowing look he still indulged him in changing the topic.
It didn’t take them long to reach the area where Xisuma had set up the party, an open field just next to a forest. Everything was decorated for the occasion, lit up pumpkins surrounding the area. There were chairs and tables, crates of drinks and foods set up. Loud music came from some redstone contraption that Mumbo had built a few days ago.
Xisuma greeted them with a smile, still wearing his armour, but at least he had changed its look once more, now resembling some spooky creature instead of the little friendly striders.
Grian’s eyes drifted to the people already there and then his eyes landed on Ren and Impulse, standing in one corner and he could feel his heart pulling him forward. He left Mumbo’s side, who only gave him a little sigh, probably knowing of Grian’s hopes. What if they’d look at him differently today? Maybe today they’d finally notice him in a different way.
Ren turned around first. He was dressed up in the robes he had worn back at the demise games, a hood covering his hair. The scythe he used to carry around was lying abandoned on a wall off to the side, along with some scary looking mask that he had probably added on to the costume, more fitting the style of his space themed area he was living in now.
And sure, the costume was probably not meant to be sexy, but the spooky and powerful vibes Ren gave of in this were such a turn on to Grian and he swallowed, almost tripping over in his heels. He raised his gaze from Ren’s costume to his face.
Ren was looking at him open mouthed, eyes wide and Grian was pretty sure he saw a blush. He smirked. Well things were going as planned after all. Grian’s eyes drifted to Impulse and he froze for a second. Impulse was dressed up like he had been in Demise as well, fake blood staining his clothes that were partly ripped.
A partner’s costume…
Now wasn’t that nice?
Grian forced a smile onto his face and kept walking while knowing that those two pairs of eyes were fixed on him.
“Grian, dude! You look good! Only you would be crazy enough to pull off a look like that. It suits you!”, Ren said, pulling him into a half hug and patting his back a few times. Grian could feel the heat rising to his cheeks, looking up at Ren, right into his eyes. In his mind he was just throwing his arms around Ren and pulling him into a kiss, but that was just a fantasy.
“Thanks. You guys look good as well. That brings back some very nice memories of last season.”
“Like when you killed me, lil guy?”
Grian burst into giggles.
“Your greed killed you, not me. Well your greed and your cute overexcitement when you jumped off that tank.”
Ren laughed as well and suddenly there was a hand on the side of Grian’s face, gently tugging a strand of hair behind his ear.
“Well right now I’d say you’re the cute one between us, Grian.”
Grian’s heart was racing. He leaned into the touch, his breathing getting faster. Was it just imagination or was Ren leaning forward? Was this just another one of his daydreams or was this-
“Ren”, Impulse’s voice pulled them from the trance and Ren let his hand drop immediately, stepping back with a sheepish smile, before turning to Impulse and caressing his cheek the same way he had just done to Grian.
“No worries, my sweet little zombie boyfriend, I haven’t forgotten about you. I never would.”
Grian felt his heart aching as he forced the smile to stay on his face. Impulse looked at him weirdly, making Grian wonder if he knew how much Grian wanted to get in between them. Or maybe he thought Grian only wanted to steal Ren away… God, he couldn’t bear it if Impulse started hating him. He quickly raised his hands defensively and smiled.
“Yeah! I won’t use my charm to bewitch him, no worries. I have my eyes on someone else anyways. There was a reason I dressed up like this after all”, he just lied. He needed them to get off his trail and a crush on someone else would certainly remove all the doubt cast on him.
Ren looked confused and wanted to say something, probably to ask who that person was, but Grian didn’t give him a chance, making up some excuse about having to go over to Doc to annoy him a little next and he darted off to the table filled with drinks where Doc stood.
He had an easy time, falling into his bantering with Doc while getting a drink, both of them poking fun at the other’s costume. And seriously… A half creeper dressing up as a cat - “because seriously Grian, those things are scary as hell.” - was the funniest thing. At least Doc had put some more thought into his costume than Mumbo and actually looked good in the get up.
They were a few drinks in, both laughing at Grian telling another story of a prank he had pulled, when Doc was called away by Ren. An amused snort left his lips.
“Gotta go, G. Someone is not happy about us talking.”
Grian sighed, shaking his head. He didn’t really know what Doc was hinting at, but he’d probably know sooner or later if it involved some shenanigans on the server. Maybe something about the war in the shopping district. But he was still the tiniest bit annoyed at Doc for hurrying off. Just when he had started to have fun and forgotten about everything else. He took another full bottle and then went off to the side, sitting down on a small stone wall, letting his eyes travel over the party now going in full swing.
He smiled fondly, when he saw Mumbo. A very drunk Stress was sitting on his lap, painting whiskers on his face and by how flushed Mumbo was, she was definitely moving around more in his lap than absolutely needed and Grian bet she knew what she was doing. Despite the very obvious flustered state Mumbo was in, he didn’t seem too uncomfortable, so Grian wouldn’t need to pull one of his best friend saving moves.
Doc had moved on from Ren and was now in a heated discussion with Iskall. Going from the way their hands were moving and their scrunched up faces, it had something to do with redstone. And well… Those two discussing redstone? That could take at least an hour. So much for Grian’s plan to go back to their little banter.
That meant he had to find something else to distract himself. Or someone else… He knew for a fact that Bdubs wouldn’t say no if Grian came on to him. Maybe he could just have some fun and-
He looked at Impulse and Ren again, Ren throwing his head back and laughing, Impulse smiling softly, and Grian’s heart jumped in joy.
Maybe he’d just get another drink after all.
~*~
The party had been going for a while now. And honestly, Grian wanted to have fun, he really tried to. He had downed a few drinks, hoping to loosen up, but the way Impulse and Ren stuck together, showing way too much PDA, was really putting his mood down.
Impulse leaned over to Ren, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, making the other giggle in amusement. Grian felt something tighten in his stomach. He wished he could make all his feelings just disappear, go and take the pain away. He wished he could turn back time to stop himself from ever starting the Hippies. If he had just let things go, maybe joined Area77 instead of fighting them, he could have just developed a crush on someone like Doc who probably would have been much more open to any advances Grian made. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel this overwhelmed and helpless right now.
Xisuma walked up to Ren and Impulse, talking to them and Ren stood up, waving to Impulse before leaving with their admin.
Grian felt relief flooding him, followed by guilt. He shouldn’t be feeling like that. He should be happy for his friends. It should be enough for him that the people he loved were happy, even if he wasn’t the one to give them their Happy Ever After.
This guilt burdened him every day, overwhelming him, combining with the sadness and jealousy, making him fall deeper and deeper into what felt like an endless hole of his own creation. He had tried to get out, tried to move on. It seemed impossible. It was as if his crush was a giant mountain he had to dig through, but all he had was a wooden pickaxe.
Every time he looked at them, every time they showed any signs of affection for one another, everytime they were nice to him, everytime they kissed, the mountain just seemed to grow, becoming even more impossible to overcome. And he hadn’t even started digging yet, just standing in front of the mountain, frozen, unable to do anything.
Grian looked into his glass at his own reflection. He had really tried his best for this party. He had really thought he could sway them if he just looked attractive enough. It hadn’t worked.
“What’s got you looking so sad?”
Grian looked up at Zedaph and Tango, who both looked at him and then sat down on the wall next to him, both taking one side. Tango was dressed up in a white robe, little wings and a halo attached to his body to finish the look, wearing golden glitter all over his body. Zedaph on the other hand was wearing a red suit, with little bat wings and two red horns on his head.
“Nothing. I was just lost in thought. The question is what’re the two of you up to again? Playing a little angel and devil on my shoulder?”
They both giggled and it was Zedaph who spoke up first.
“Really no need for that if we both tell you the same thing. Although, if it helps, I can phrase it more crudely and Tango can make it sound more sweet.”
Grian looked between them in confusion as his eyes finally settled on Tango.
“What?”
“See, told you he would like to hear it said more sweetly, honey.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”
Grian just raised his eyebrows in confusion and Tango smirked. A smirk that didn’t really fit the way he was dressed up.
“Well we noticed the way you were looking at our dear buddy Impulse as if he was a godly being walking among mortals.”
“Also the way you devour Ren’s sexy ass.”
“Yeah, that as well. You’re pretty obvious.”
Grian felt a blush rising to his cheeks, against all effort to suppress it. He knew where this was going. This is why he had tried to hide his crush from the other Hermits as well. They would disapprove and tell him not to get in between those two. He didn’t want to hear how hopeless it was from somebody else. His mind was already doing a good enough job of screaming that.
“You guys really don’t have to worry! I won’t do anything.”
“Well now that is the problem and why we came here”, Zedaph said and Tango made a sound of agreement.
“Yes. I think Impulse really wouldn’t mind banging you.”
“TANGO! Language! Remember you’re the angel. I’m the one doing the dirty talk.”
Tango giggled and batted his eyelashes a bit, trying to look innocent. “Sorry. I meant Impulse and Ren really want to spend some quality time with you.”
Grian wanted to laugh at that. He did believe that Tango was telling the truth. What would he gain from lying? But what he was saying… This wasn’t what Grian had wanted.
He simply nodded and Zedaph went on.
“What Tango was trying to say is that the two of them have been talking about you. They’ve been doing that for a while but they won’t get their asses up and ask. And we noticed how sad you are. It really shouldn’t be our place to tell you, but since they’re too dumb to realise… They really would like you to join their-”
“It’s alright”, Grian interrupted Zedaph and stood up, gently smoothing down the fabric of his costume with one hand and then turning around to look at his fellow hermits. “I know you want to help, but I’m really not interested. You must have misunderstood.”
It was weird. All they were saying made his heart race and hurt at the same time. He wanted to be with Impulse and Ren. He really did. He would give anything to be with them. But to hear from someone so close to them that all they were interested in was Grian’s body and to have a little adventure with him? It hurt so bad.
“If you’ll excuse me now, I need another drink. Maybe try your angel and devil spiel on someone more interested. I think Mumbo’s pining hard for Stress and too scared to make a move. I’m just fine.”
Without letting Tango and Zedaph protest he went over to the drinks again, putting his empty bottle into one of the crates and looking over the selection of drinks. He heard a noise and raised his head, looking to the forest. Ren stood there between the trees, staring at him through the holes of his mask, beckoning him with one hand.
Grian blinked in confusion, turning his head to look behind him. Surely Ren meant Impulse and not him. But Impulse was still sitting off to the side and no other Hermit was close by. Noone was even looking in Ren’s direction and Xisuma still had not returned.
Grian turned back. Ren was still waving him over. So Ren really did mean him. Grian felt his heart skip a beat when he walked around the table and up to Ren. But just when he reached him, Ren turned around and started walking into the forest.
“Ren? What’s up? You already done with whatever help Xisuma needed?”
Ren just nodded and kept walking and Grian stumbled a bit trying to follow him. This forest ground was really not made for high heels.
“Do you want to show me something?”
Ren nodded again and Grian smiled a bit uncertain. Well Ren surely was full of surprises and this might be one of them.
“Well let’s go then. Just… Maybe a bit slower. I really don’t wanna fall down.”
Ren turned his head a bit, looking at him, but Grian really couldn’t make out any expression with his mask back on his face again, covering everything but his eyes, the hood so low that it cast a shadow, making even his eyes disappear.
Ren made a hum of agreement. It seemed to echo and Grian looked around in confusion. Well that was a strange effect. The trees weren’t even close enough to produce an echo…
“Where are we even going in such a hurry? What do you have planned? Any prankage happening?”
“Hungry… So hungry.”
Grian looked at him a bit confused, but then smiled again. “Oh well that explains the hurry. You really should have gotten something from the snack bar before taking me here. Just… A little slower then.”
They started walking again. Slower this time, giving Grian the opportunity to walk up next to Ren. He kept looking down at Ren’s hand, right next to his and his heart was racing as he decided to be brave. He let his hand brush past Ren’s a few times and when he didn’t pull away, Grian just grabbed it gently. He expected Ren to pull away or make a joke, but he just closed his fingers around Grian’s hand, holding it tight.
Grian smiled.
He’d have this at least.
~*~
Impulse smiled as he watched Ren and Grian retreat into the forest. Everything was going according to plan. He had been a bit worried when he had seen Zedaph and Tango approaching Grian. They had kept threatening to tell Grian everything if he and Ren didn’t finally pull their heads out of their asses and confess.
But they were ready now. They had planned everything. They had waited so long for this evening. Ren would talk to Grian now. Alone without Impulse, so they wouldn’t overwhelm him and so the others wouldn’t notice. Grian could let Ren down gently without feeling pressured in a two against one situation. And since Ren and Grian had been closer before Impulse had entered the picture, Impulse had let Ren have the honour of confessing for both of them.
Impulse would get his own opportunity to shower Grian in love later, if everything went according to plan. It had been kind of cute, seeing Ren so overeager the whole evening. He had almost spilled their secret the moment his eyes had landed on Grian in his sexy costume. And Impulse could understand that sentiment. One comment from Ren and Grian had dressed up like that. It really had to mean something. Both of them were so confident… He just wished Ren would have told him he’d go for it now after he had been done helping out Xisuma with setting up the fireworks. It had just been a lucky coincidence that Impulse had glanced up when Grian had followed Ren.
Impulse kept glancing at the forest, heart racing as he fiddled with the scythe lying next to him nervously. He knew a talk light that might need a while. Ren surely would have some explaining to do. Impulse just wished he was still able to see them between the trees. They couldn’t have gone more than a couple of metres after all.
A few minutes passed. Impulse’s fingers kept twitching, his leg bouncing up and down. He rolled the scythe back and forth on the little wall. A loud clattering sound yanked him out of his thoughts and he looked down in confusion, bending down to pick up the object that had fallen. He looked at it in confusion. It was the metal mask that was part of Ren’s costume. He had abandoned it earlier in the evening, because he had said it was weird to have his face covered all the time.
Hadn’t he just worn that when he had walked into the forest? Impulse was pretty sure he had seen it on Ren’s face…
“I’m back!”
Impulse raised his eyes from the mask to Ren who was walking up to the little wall, Xisuma only a few steps behind him. He wasn’t wearing a mask… He had come out of the opposite direction of the forest.
“Ren…? How… How did it go? What did he say?” Surely Ren must have just rounded the party, maybe he had taken a walk while talking to Grian. Surely there was a logical explanation.
Ren stepped up to him, tilting his head, scrunching up his forehead in confusion. “Xisuma?”
“No. Grian. What did he say?”
“I… What?”
“Didn’t you just go into the forest with him?”, Impulse asked, a weird feeling rising in his stomach. “Oh god, did he take it that bad and ran off?”
“Impulse what are you talking about? I was just helping Xisuma out. It took a bit longer because he’s crazy and went completely overboard with the fireworks again.”
Impulse suddenly felt panic rising. He had seen Ren walk into the forest with Grian. He was so sure of that. But had he really seen Ren. With the robe and the mask covering the whole body.
“Ren… I just saw someone dressed in your costume take Grian into the forest. I thought you were going with him for a talk.”
Ren froze up a bit as well, his smile faltering a bit.
“You think someone is playing a prank on him? You don’t think Tango or Zedaph would pretend to be me to get this done with?”
They both looked to the party and as Impulse’s eyes drifted over the people his heart began sinking further and further until Ren uttered the words that made his heart almost stop, voice filled with dread.
“Everyone else is here.”
Impulse sprang into action at once, running over to Xisuma and grabbing the admin who dropped a crate of fireworks.
“Impulse? What the…?”
“X! You need to teleport Grian over here right now!”
Xisuma looked at him in a mixture of confusion and worry.
“Impulse. Calm down. What’s going on?”
“Grian went into the forest with a person and everyone whitelisted is here. X! He could be in danger!”
Xisuma seemed alerted at once, the helmet lighting up with what Impulse knew was the admin console. He let go and Xisuma typed something apparently into thin air.
Impulse waited with bated breath. A teleport wouldn’t take long. It was a simple command. A very simple command. Seconds passed. Xisuma was typing again. And again. And again, his movements getting more frantic.
“I can’t teleport him. Something is interfering with my powers.”
Impulse felt like someone had dumped an ice cold bucket over him, desperate eyes looking to the forest.
“No… Grian.”
~*~
Grian felt his heart racing as they kept walking, the forest growing more and more dense. They were lucky though, no mobs were spawning and Grian wondered if Xisuma had tweaked the world’s settings a bit for their little party after the phantom fiasco of last year when all the redstoners had forgotten to get some sleep in a bed before the big event.
“Is it much further? I don’t think I can go back if we walk any longer. I might look confident in these heels, but they’re not made for long distances.” Grian gave a small chuckle, but Ren didn’t say anything. It was weird, just how quiet he was. Usually Ren would chatter all the way to some destination. It was hard to get him to stop talking.
“Ren is everything alright?”
“Hungry…”
Grian made a confused sound and looked around again. Something felt off. Something wasn’t right. The forest was quiet. Too quiet. This was not natural.
Grian cast a look at Ren, but he seemed really focused ahead on whatever way he had planned out for him. He wouldn’t notice… Grian concentrated and he knew his eyes were glowing slightly. Ren’s fingers twitched, tightening on his hand and Grian wondered if he somehow felt the Watcher magic. But there was no way he could. He would only notice if he turned and noticed the glow in Grian’s eyes.
Grian let his magically enhanced senses spread out. There was nothing. Nothing at all. And that was a huge red flag. There was always something. He always felt something. There was no sign of any living being, alive or dead close by. Not even a tiny insect. Not even...
Grian suddenly stopped, pulling his hand from Ren’s grasp.
Not even Ren.
He took a few hurried steps back.
“Ren. What is going on? Why… Why do you have no life force?”
There was a weird echoing sound and it took Grian a few seconds to realise that it was laughter. Deep, distorted laughter. And it was coming from Ren.
Ren raised a hand to the mask, taking it off as the hood of the robe fell back as well.
Grian was staring straight into Ren’s face. It looked like Ren, but the expression seemed so twisted. A grin he had never seen on Ren’s face, revealing sharp teeth when he opened his mouth.
“I’m hungry.”
Grian took a few steps back again. Ren’s mouth stretched open so much further than a human mouth could, revealing so many sharp teeth.
“You look tasty. You smell good”
Grian raised his hand up as fast as he could, but Ren - no, not Ren, something - was faster as he was pushed against a wide tree with a force that was not human, his head hitting the wood hard, making him dizzy.
He summoned his magic up, a purple glow surrounding his whole body. He’d just push the creature off, summon his wings and run off. He just needed another second to collect his energy and-
The creature moved forward. Grian expected an attack, but suddenly lips were pressed against his. It felt weird, it felt wrong. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t pull away. The glow around him started to flicker. He tried to summon his magic, but it kept slipping from his grasp. And then the glow disappeared completely. The creature pulled back from him. His face morphing into that of Impulse and Grian looked at it out of breath, feeling so weak all of the sudden, his legs beginning to shake.
“W-what…?”
“You really are tasty… Unrequited love. The amount of sadness. Loneliness. Desperation. It all called out to me so loud. So tasty.” The creature licked its lips, a long tongue darting from the wide mouth. “I’ve never had a taste this good. Being in love with two people… Must be painful.” Another laugh, echoing all around Grian’s head, Impulse’s voice being distorted as if another voice was speaking at the same time. ”And you have magic as well. This meal will last me for centuries. I will enjoy every last drop of your energy until you’re nothing but a hollow shell… and then I’ll devour you.”
Grian made a tiny sound, raising his hands, weakly trying to push the creature away, but he couldn’t stop it from moving forward again.
“Goodbye, little witch.”
There were lips on his again and Grian’s legs buckled when he grew even weaker. An arm snaked around his waist, holding him upright, as the lips pressed harder against his.
So this would be his end.
He really should have confessed to Impulse and Ren.
For someone two centuries old he really was a coward.
The creature pushed harder against him. Grian felt sharp teeth.
His vision swam, black dots dancing in front of his eyes. He searched for his magic. What was usually a roaring wildfire inside of him was now nothing more than a flickering candle flame and he directed it all to pull deeper inside, pulling it down to protect his magic core. He already felt a crack forming at what was essentially his soul, pain spreading through his whole body.
He’d die.
He’d die here and his friends would never even find his dead body, not knowing about his fate, searching for him and maybe one day thinking he abandoned this world.
Grian felt a tear run down his face. His hands fell from the fabric of the robe, his arms dangling uselessly at his side now. It was over.
A loud scream. Grian was falling. There were loud noises. A taunting voice. The creature. Screams. He needed to open his eyes again, to see what was going on. He was on the ground. Would he be devoured now? Something pressed against Grian’s lips and for a second he thought even his last bit of energy would be sucked out now, but it didn’t feel like lips. It was more hard and cold. It pushed unrelenting until Grian opened his mouth the tiniest bit. Liquid started to flood his mouth and through the fog he realised that he knew the all too familiar taste of Stress’ brewing. He swallowed the potion greedily, feeling at least some of his energy return.
Slowly he opened his eyes to see Impulse and Ren’s worried faces right above him, Ren being the one to hold the potion up to his face. Xisuma stood behind them, helmet abandoned, a sword still in his hands. All of them were covered in something that looked like black blood. The bottle of potion disappeared and Grian opened his mouth, but his voice was still weak and barely above a whisper.
“What happened…?”
“A succubus”, Xisuma replied, voice cold as he looked at something on the ground. Grian followed his gaze. On the ground was a body, but it was no longer wearing Impulse’s or Ren’s face, but a weird distorted monstrous grimace, hollow eyes staring emptily at the sky. “I don’t know how it managed to sneak inside this world. I’m glad we made it to you in time. From the way it was glowing I’d say another minute and you would have been dead…” Xisuma stopped and looked at Grian searching for something. “We’ll talk later about why a succubus was also sucking magic from you and not just energy.”
Grian smiled weakly and nodded.
“I also think the three of you need to talk. I don’t really want a repeat of this. We’re not taking chances… Message me when you’re done. Teleport works again.”
Grian stared after Xisuma in confusion as he walked over to the body, touching it, which caused it to disappear in the green light of his admin magic. Xisuma took one last look at them and then walked away as well.
Grian turned to Impulse and Ren, about to ask what this was about, when two pairs of arms pulled him up and he was crushed in a hug.
“Guys…?”
“I’m so sorry, Grian. So sorry. This is all our fault”, Ren whispered, his voice heavy with sadness. Grian didn’t understand why he sounded so sad, but before he could ask, Impulse continued, voice sounding just as depressed.
“It told us. You were just targeted because of us. Because you love us.”
Grian felt his heart sink, his eyes widening. Right. The creature had talked about feeding on his unrequited love. Oh god. It had told them. The taunting voice he had heard in his dazed state. That must have been it.
“I- It’s- I’m…” Grian took a shaking breath. “It’s not your fault. You can’t change the way you guys feel. It’s not your fault you love each other and not me.”
They both pulled back, but only slightly, arms still on Grian as they all sat on the forest floor.
“But Grian…” Ren looked at him, eyes shining as he gently caressed Grian’s back. “We do. We really do love you. We were just cowards. If we had just told you earlier that we loved you”
“You… What?”
“We love you”, Impulse answered, smiling softly.
Grian sobbed loudly and he felt the stinging of tears in his eyes, trying real hard to hold them back. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. He couldn’t.
“You really don’t have to say that. I don’t need you to pretend The possibilities of another succubus coming by is really low and I bet Xisuma will raise the defenses after today and-”
There was a finger on his lips. Ren’s. Both of them smiled. Both of them looked at him with nothing but love.
“Grian, we really do love you”, Ren said and Grian couldn’t hold the tears back any longer, letting them flow freely, raising his arms to put them around the other two now again, all of them pressed together tightly.
“God, I love you two so much.”
“We know”, Ren said and chuckled softly. “Almost dying to a love sucking monster is a really crazy way of confessing though, G-man, just so you know.”
Grian laughed through the tears as well and when he pulled back he smiled at them softly. He might have almost died and he still felt far too weak to even walk back, but the way those two looked at him, as if he was the most precious being in this world right now made him think that this might be the best Halloween he’s ever had after all.
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the continuation of chemistry love with the lowest activation energy you've ever seen, complete with two incompatible products
hello this is the anon who had a crush on the chemistry guy ^_^
i mustered up some confidence and asked him out! i considered the fact that he likes chemistry and asked him out with an embarrassing chemistry pick-up line... won't write it here because it's so bad xD
anyway, he turned me down! actually it was pretty bad, i think the joke annoyed him. apparently he's into girls who "apply themselves in meaningful subjects" and don't waste time "ogling over boys in tight pants." i think he noticed the bt21 hat i was wearing and the song i was listening to (butter by bts). honestly at that point i wanted to dieeee hahaaa xD
honestly, now that i'm writing this i'm getting a lot more upset about it :((( do you think the chemistry joke was too much? it was just a cheesy pick up line, and i was pretty much joking! did i insult his intelligence with a stupid joke? O_O okay i said i wasn't going to say the joke but here it is:
are you copper tellurium? because you're cute!
explanation: copper (Cu) + tellurium (Te) = copper tellurium (CuTe)
IT'S NOT EVEN THAT BAD! maybe not enough to make someone laugh, but it's just an innocent little joke! ahhhh, i'm sorry this message so long and it's not even a big deal but i'm so annoyed!!!
actually you know what!? i'm going to watch run bts and forget about my problems! bts could pour some stuff in beakers, but chem guy can't complete silly challenges while being insanely cute and entertaining!
(well, maybe he could, but i'd rather watch bts do it!!!! >_<)
thanks for the chat, even though technically i'm just sending this in now... well (technically) you did create a safe environment with your blog, where readers feel free to come to you with their problems without feel of being made fun of. i'm sure it can be tiring to hear so many negative experiences while you may be dealing with some things personally. while i'm not sure how you really feel about receiving so many asks that can possibly be triggering, i do think your blog has helped many people (both the smut and the advice). of course, while you're not obligated to help people with things unrelated to your writing, it's nice that you try your best to respond.
wow this ask has taken a turn!
anyway, i want to end this on a positive note. this is completely unrelated, but i had this amazing frozen snack today. it's basically coffee made into jelly with french vanilla ice cream on top. i also put in some yummy oreo bits! i'm currently in a heat wave right now and it was the perfect treat for my hot body temperature. just thinking about it makes me smile :D so tasty~
my goodness this is really long now, very sorry for wasting your time with this weird ask D:
You dodged a bullet or, rather, the Bulletproof Boys have protected you from accidentally dating a complete dickhead.
Thanks Bangtan! :D
Come on, he could have just said, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested" and not straight up insulted you! What the heck??? Yeah, the pick-up line was awful (sorry, it was XD), but if you can't have a sense of humor, what good are you? HUH? I think you did fine and he was unnecessarily mean about it. Hmph.
And, hey, at least you asked sooner rather than later and didn't spend weeks or months pining over someone who totally doesn't deserve it. Take the W. Run BTS! is the best therapy <3
Whoa, I think this is the first time someone has acknowledged that answering certain asks might have an affect on me. ^_^;;; I'm trying to find a balance, but I am pretty tough, it's hard for even me to tell if I've overdone it...
I don't think this wasted my time! I think it's important even for others to know that things don't work out sometimes and sometimes you need to watch Run BTS! and eat delicious snacks and watch BTS fight each other for their own delicious snacks that they could literally buy hundreds of boxes of but instead chose to betray their best friends during a ridiculous game that has a freaking essay as the rules that no one remembers until the staff reminds them LMAO
--
some nice words from a nice anon!
THAT WAS MEAN? that pickup line was cute, maybe a lil cheesy, but ?/??? im sorry chemistry anon but im very very very sure you could get someone better. u seem really nice wtf that's not fair. anyway ur gonna get over the man i just know it .
also, wiyllt
im sorry people send u triggering stuff :( man i wish there was a filter or something. i hope you dont push urself trying if u dont wanna (i know you've said you wouldn't but, just saying!)
No need to be sorry <3 I don't think they mean any harm and I have come to a point in my life where I can rationally think about it and choose whether or not to answer. Plus, I have IRL support who notice when I'm down and take care of me and bring me snacks or give me head - ya know, all the normal things one does when taking care of someone XD!
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Candy Sweet
Happy Valentines Day! Wrote a quick lil bit of not sfw ficlet on my JohnDave server and wanted to share. ;3c I’ll be posting it on ao3 as well.
cw: foodplay, oral sex
Dave makes John some special chocolates and introduces him to a fun new way of eating candy.
Chocolate. It had to be chocolate. At first glance, chocolate seems like it'd be simple to work with. Follow the directions, apply here and there into molds and blammo: chocolate in new shapes. Except no, chocolate's a bitch to work with and if you heat it too much it turns into a pile of shit visually. It took Dave two tries, fails, and frantic calls to friends to finally get the double boiler technique into practice (thank you Dirk for helping him with knowledge gleaned through watching too many valentines day weeb scenes to count).
The fruit of his efforts before John could get home was one dozen fancy chocolates, filled with just the right consistency of caramel or berry filling, and all bearing a fairly decent pattern thanks to the mold. Shit, he even fucked around and made a box to put the stuff in. John already failed to be sneaky and admitted he had something planned for valentines day. ..That obviously meant that Dave had to up his game and surprise the dork a day early.
Candies chilled, set to perfection and carefully placed in the box, Dave set about his other plan: cheesy overdone path to bedroom: done. The candles were ignored in favor of something a bit less "set the apartment on fire if we kick it by accident", lights skewing soft reds and pinks. Almost perfect. Damn near perfect.
Till John got home early, at least. Motherfucker had some issues with punctuality, he was either way early or ridiculously late, there was never an in between and there was little to be done about it but be thankful that at least the chocolates were still a surprise.
"Hey Da- uh. ...You know it's not today right?" John said, stopped by the door to toe his shoes off and chuck his bag across the room at the sofa instead of setting it down like a sensible person. "Valentine's tomorrow, your present isn't entirely ready ye-"
"I know the date, John, it's called being fashionably early."
"....That's not a thing."
"Well it fuckin' is now," Dave said, leaning down to shuck his pants and step out of them before kicking the denim to the side. "You want the fashionably early present, or do you want me to wait and be actually punctual for this? I can just as easy put my pants back on and wait, man, you're the one who doesn't want early presents, not me. Not like I went outta my way to do this early so I could surprise you or anything and make a special moment for you so your thing'd have its own stage time." And so his could be first, whoops.
"No!" John said suddenly, rushing across the room. "No, no, pants can stay off, I'm interested! Who doesn't like early presents!" He reached out to grab Dave around the hips but paused, fingers wiggling. "Er. You're part of the gift, right? I just noticed there's no bow."
"Boxers are still on, who's to say there's not a bow on my cock."
"Is there?"
"You got home early, what do you think about cock bow possibilities."
"...Okay, I'll accept less decorative dick. Are you part of the present though?"
Dave stepped back from the wiggling fingers and gestured in further to the pink toned room. "How about you strip down and I'll show you?"
Who was John to argue? That kind of a statement usually implied great shit would be following, and when Dave was involved John knew better than to ignore the opportunity. (Seriously, he'd ignored the opportunity a few times and it'd resulted in Dave waking him up at 3am to deliver the gift he'd straight up accidentally ignored, signals are hard to pick up on sometimes, okay?)
Off went the pants, off went the shirt, and with Dave's help and a few hungry kisses off went the underwear as well before he went and took a cozy seat at the head of the bed, already eager and half hard. Oh boy, what could it be? He hoped it wasn't too similar to what he had planned, but at the same time...
"...Chocolate?" John said when Dave pulled out the box and opened the lid with a grin from the side of the bed, making a show of bowing with it for presentation's sake. "Is uh. ...Dave why do I need to be naked for chocolate. I'm pretty sure I can eat those with my pants on. ...Unless there's peanut in it I guess, that'd probably make some microdifference for the epi-pen."
"All of these ones are for you," Dave said, gesturing to 3/4 of them with a fingertip. "These ones though, are for both of us."
"...You're not answering the no pants question yet, Dave."
Rolling his eyes and mumbling something about romance being dead, Dave set the box aside, dropped his final layer, and picked up a chocolate between his fingertips before moving to straddle John's thighs.
"I made these myself you know. They're tempered just right.. which means they melt pretty easy if you're not careful. I used high quality stuff, even made the filling," he said, tracing the chocolate in a gentle line from John's nose, over his lips, and down his throat before it started to melt. He used it almost like a crayon, drawing widening lines of chocolate till the berry filling leaked out as well in an arc towards his chest. "So like I said. The others are all yours. But these ones are for sharin'," Dave said as he carefully licked the stripe from John's neck and slipped his fingers into his boyfriend's mouth so he could get the rest of the chocolate and the spreading sweetness at the same time Dave's tongue cleaned the messy path it'd made as thoroughly as possible.
Oh. ...Oh, okay, John hadn't anticipated THIS kind of present. He could feel his dick twitch against Dave's stomach while he leaned and roved his tongue around, pausing here and there to suckle and bite, no doubt leaving marks more lasting than the chocolate had been. The fingers in his mouth were sweet over top the familiar taste of Dave, and his own reached down to grasp either side of the blonde's ass to hold him closer, keep him from pulling away.
Till he pulled his fingers loose to grab another chocolate at least, and showed interest in going further down with it. With a fond farewell squeeze, John released Dave and watched with rapt attention as he repeated the same process down his stomach, down his abdomen, and... to his inner thigh instead of his dick. It made his blue eyes twitch a bit, so close yet so far before he accepted the messy fingers between his lips again, Dave staring up from beneath his bangs with heavy lidded eyes. He could feel the smirk again his skin, smug, knowing just how much he was denying John but not giving anything a second faster than he wanted to.
The third piece of candy brought Dave back up to John's chest, over either nipple.
"Dave I'm dying, come on, you can't just tease me like that! It's. It's right there!!" he complained, surprised at how frantic he felt. Maybe it was the leading touch and then the licking that was doing it? He'd been teased plenty of times and it hadn't felt quite like this before, never been quite this methodical and maddening. "It's gonna turn blue and break off," John whined, complaints only stopping when fingers were once again worked into his mouth.
"You and your smurf dick can hold out for another few minutes while I enjoy my dessert, makin' this shit took all day," Dave drawled, biting a peaked nipple gentle with his teeth and tugging. Who was he kidding, his own dick was aching like crazy, but he didn't want to touch it yet. After all, there'd still be eight more candies by the time he was done with John. Who knew where the night might lead?
John's whines were cute, puppy dog eyes in full activation behind his glasses any time Dave looked up, frantic and hopeful when he pulled his fingers free to grasp the last chocolate he'd allotted himself. The trail ran along his inner thigh once more, Dave's tongue right behind it as he hummed and cleaned the sticky treat up on the fly, before finally, finally there was relief. John's whine turned to a throaty moan when he finally felt the press of candy on his dick... only to return to the whine when he didn't feel Dave's tongue right afterwards.
"Dave! Dave, come on, it's. It's sticky when you just leave it like that!"
"Yeah, it's candy."
"It's gross!"
"For a minute, chill out," Dave said lazily, tracing till he was halfway done before putting the remaining candy in his mouth and stuffing his fingers back into John's mouth before dropping down onto the head of John's dick.
He was thorough, for all the whines and shuffles that John had him working to keep up through. The candy had dissolved and disappeared, the mess had been cleaned up thoroughly already, and now all that was left was the heavy heat of cock in Dave's mouth, the faint hint of salt from pre-come and the sweet aftertaste of chocolate and berries as he bobbed his head. John's hands rose to withdraw Dave's fingers, guiding his hands to his hips instead before his own hands went to stroke at the faintly curled strands of blonde hair, trying not to buck up into his mouth as he worked.
All good things must come to an end, however. For all the lead up Dave had secured and how eager John was surprised to find himself under the loving onslaught of candy and mouth (and by now the sight of Dave's skinny hips moving as he rutted against John's legs and the air beneath him out of the need to find some friction to work himself against), John could only hold out so long. Though he tried to warn Dave, maybe have him pull up for a kiss or the sexy option of painting his face a bit and making a frosting joke, his boyfriend stayed determinedly in place and sunk even lower. When John stiffened all he had to do was hurriedly swallow to keep up, the bobbing of his head slowing till he pulled away with a few final licks. The taste of candy was gone, but it still felt just as well.
Flush faced and lively still, John waited about ten seconds for Dave to catch his breath before he shot up and rolled him, catching his wrists and drawing them up over his head as he straddled his waist.
"So. The other candies are mine, right?"
"All yours."
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With Asexual Awareness Week coming to an end, I decided to post this. I had my doubts if I should or not, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to share my experience???
Okay, so I’ve heard this a couple of times when I’ve came out to them as asexual and I really needed to get this out of my system. I’ve heard it from my mom and my room mate, and I’m pretty sure other people were thinking it too when I told them.
“You can’t know if you’re asexual if you’re a virgin”.
First things first: this is straight up STUPID. This is the same argument that goes in “you can’t know if you are gay if you haven’t had sex with a girl”. Yes, you can! You know yourself and your body better than anyone else because YOU ARE INSIDE IT, not whoever is around it.
This also goes the same way as the argument “it’s just a phase, you’ll grow out of it when you try it the first time”. But listen up, and this is gonna sound crazy but... If the thought of doing it for the first time makes you very very nervous to the point you think you might not enjoy it at all... Maybe... Just MAYBE... You shouldn’t do it? I mean... Isn’t sex supposed to be fun? “Ah, but the first time is always horrible”: Wow, that just makes me feel so much better...
So let me get this straight... I should do this the first time and it’s gonna be horrible. Ok, alright. Then, I have to do it again to have it the right way? Even though I didn’t even want the first one because it made me nervous??? Hm... Yeah, that sounds a lot like how people get into smoking... Maybe it’s just me.
Second of all, there’s more than one way to be asexual. Damn, there’s a whole umbrella. Of course you’re not supposed to know every single detail about every possible variable contained on the LGBTQIA+ community (I hope I got all the letters right). So I’ll teach ya a lil’ trick: before you go out and say some stuff you think about stuff you don’t know... Just think... “Do I have all the facts to talk about this? Do I even know what [insert term of gender identity or sexuality] means? Well then, maybe I shouldn’t say anything”.
I myself am a demisexual. That means I don’t feel sexual desire unless it’s with someone I feel a deep emotional connection with. You can take out your shirt and dance in front of me all day and I will be perfectly still, judging your dancing skills. But if we stay up all night discussing Disney theories? I’ll have some pretty wet dreams.
So calling myself asexual does not mean I think sex is gross, yuck, never want to have it. It might mean that for some portion of us, but not all. And even those of us who do feel like this, WE’RE NOT STOPPING Y’ALL FROM SEX CLUB FROM BANGING EACH OTHER TO YOUR HEART’S CONTENT, we’re happy doing our thing.
And what’s that “thing” I talk of? Well, I can’t speak for my whole community, but my thing is - AND GOD FORBID - attempting to be able to develop a relationship with someone without the constant worry that this person just wants sex in the end of the night. I want to go out and have a nice talk without having to worry to shave my legs and intimate parts and armpits and have nice underwear and worrying about what to do if I don’t want it because DAMN IT’S THE FOURTH DATE, THIS PERSON IS A SAINT FOR WAITING!!!!1!
My thing is laying on a couch and watching some weird history channel alien documentary, have a couple of kisses that have no obligation to turn into something else. My thing is having someone whisper in my ear “can I touch you?” instead of making a move that is going to make me want them to leave. My GOSHDARN thing is not being in sex club and having actual bonds with my partners.
What is this sex club I talk about? Well, it’s just the people who are part of the sex way of living, which is very similar to the coffee club in the sense that you’re not satisfied by doing the sex (drinking the coffee), and portraying the sex in media (how many times have you heard “do you want to get some coffee” in series and movies?), and describing the sex in the lunch table (“I had so much coffee this morning”) you also NEED to bring other people people for the club. “Wait, you’re still a virgin?” (“wait, you don’t like coffee?”) “But it’s wonderful for your health, it’s super natural!” (“it keeps me awake during classes, I couldn’t live without it!”) “You’re just scared because you never done it” (“You really should try it”). And then when you say you tried and don’t like it, both clubs will say “you’re probably not doing it right”.
And this is not about shaming the people who enjoy casual sex (or casual coffee) or about me being picky about who I want to give my almighty precious virginity flower to. This is about the sex culture I’m so sick to see in movies, in internet videos, literally EVERYWHERE.
And this sex culture is so toxic. It makes young girls want to grow up faster so they can have boobs and catch the boy’s attention and finally lose their virginity. It makes boys think they have to bang a lot of girls to be accepted - and having to give yourself pleasure is something shameful because it means you failed to find a partner. This culture makes advertisement pander to sex whenever it needs to sell. Even movies do that! Do I need to mention porn? Do I need to mention leaked sex videos? Do I need to mention REVENGE leaked sex videos? I mean, I could go on and on...
I’ve heard so much about sex my whole life. I feel like I’ve had the whole experience already. I know all the sex jokes, the sex toys, the sex pose book (wait, is sex a fandom?). It’s exhausting, it’s overwhelming, and honestly, it’s OVERDONE.
Would I like to try it by myself one day? Yes. Do I like feeling pressured because DAMN YOU’RE 19 ARE YOU STILL A VIRGIN? No.
So, kids, what have we learned today?
1) Don’t impose your beliefs onto people. Don’t try to forcefeed sex to people who clearly prefer to have cake. Also, please don’t forcefeed cake
2) It’s 100% okay to feel sexual atraction and 100% okay not to feel it. No one can make you do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, no matter how “natural” it is, or how much pressure they try to put on you. You are valid and your feelings and natural impulses are valid.
3) PEOPLE WORK DIFFERENTLY, don’t assume we’re all the same.
Thank you, good day
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Tuesday, January 8, 2019
post #365!!!
WE MADE IT!! 365 DAYS!!!
main points:
- brunch with sheena making avocado (guac) toast with eggs and ham
- going to soccer field to fly drone/help sheena get some fresh air/exercise
- watch some more travel videos
- play falcon/snake in smash against CPU and get a few more characters
- dinner with the fam
- play smash online with snake
- brief mario kart game with sheena before she sleeps
- more smash online hovering between elite and non-elite smash
today i:
- woke up around 9am and felt groggy so i went back to sleep. sheena was already awake and was on her phone. then around 10:30am my alarm woke me up. i snoozed until like 11 ish then i got out of sheena’s bed (since i was sleeping there for the night) and went back to my room. mom came in to check on sheena and said they booked a psychologist for today at 4pm, which was surprising. mom said she was struggling to find someone with open availability yesterday after calling 7-8 people. but today they managed to find a doctor
- i went downstairs with sheena and we tried to make avocado toast with the guacamole. i toasted some of the whole wheat bread, fried some over easy eggs, then we drizzled some cheese, spread the guac and added a slice of ham to make a lil sandwich. it was actually pretty good. but it felt like it was missing something. sheena agreed. then she pinpointed it; we were missing bacon
- after we finished eating i washed all the dishes and then went back upstairs. mom suggested sheena go out and get some exercise by either biking or walking. so we took a half hour break after eating. i caught up on yesterday’s blog post, january 7, then sheena and i went to the soccer field
we tried to ride the bikes. sheena’s bike tires were flat so we tried to pump air into it but the front tire wasn’t taking in air for some reason. after some failed attempts, i just let sheena use my bike and i walked behind her. but when she was riding it, we realized my bike tires were also flat LMAOOO whoops
sheena rode the bike to the soccer field and then decided to just walk around in a circle. i set up shop with my drone to get some footage and mess around with it again. i was able to fly it so far and it was sooo cooooool. being out in the open like that (instead of in our backyard). i could fly it everywhere!!! wheeeeeee
i messed around with it and got a good amount of shots. sheena finished one circle (which is like 3/4 mile). then i let sheena play with it and then the drone complained that the battery was low so we packed it and then walked back home
- once we got home, i edited the video using the DJI auto generated app. put it to some default dubstep music and it turned out pretty dope. while i was doing this sheena got some stuff from sephora in the mail for toner for your face. she showed me a brief run through of how to keep your face clean
then dad came home, and then he mom, and sheena went to the psychologist to have their first session to see how it went
- i stayed at home and spent some time just chilling and then stumbled upon
https://www.youtube.com/user/MrBrynnorth
from sam kolder’s instagram story. i watched his video on indonesia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i72GDSvcPmc
it was mesmerizing and unique. i feel like it had its own vibe and captured the atmosphere so well, making you feel like you were taken there. no overdone transitions and whatnot
- i played some falcon against a level 9 CPU to see how good i would be. i lost quite a few games against it. eventually i won some here and there. also put in my captain falcon amiibo from john from last summer and also made a mii fighter, mii gunner and mii swordsman just for the heck of it. then i decided to take a break from playing with falcon and switch to playing with inkling, then snake. i practiced down b reversal a lot. also i unlocked some other characters like sheik, olimar, incineroar... maybe another one
and once i got the hang of that i decided to go online for a few games. i played like one game and then dad said dinner was ready so i went downstairs. sheena was taking a nap after she came back from the session
the psychologist just said some stuff that sheena already knew, like get more sleep, exercise more, etc. when sheena came back she took a nap for an hour. so i woke her up for dinner and then we headed downstairs
- dinner was tofu pi, eggs + veggies and bok choy. m m m i love me some tofu. it was a delicious meal. dad talked briefly about trump’s trade deal and now the government shutdown and the address he was making tonight about the border wall
- then mom and dad went to look at some sink options on amazon while i washed the dishes. i brought up the chest discomforts with my dad and he said it’s likely just cause i was exercising for the first time in a while, so my muscles might be sore. and i guess to be fair it wasn’t hurting before yesterday. but i’ve taken long breaks and then exercised before and never felt something like this. it’s like a few seconds of discomfort in my chest, shifting from left, right, center, sometimes lower left. it comes and goes maybe every 10-15 minutes still. hopefully it’ll resolve itself in a few days
- after i washed the dishes i went back upstairs and just played smash online from 8-9:30pm. i was hovering on the elite smash line again with snake T.T
i kept losing the elite smash game and then winning the quickplay game. i learned that snake’s up smash is really good for edge guarding LOL. and learning to pull out nades more. it’s still kind of funky to play with. also up tilts and forward tilts. i was following a lot of what jtails said in his video that i watched like 3 weeks ago
- around 9:30pm sheena asked if she could play a mario kart grand prix with me. so we played one round and she did... okay :P like maybe 6th or 7th overall? i kinda forgot. she had one good game where she got 6th. the other games were like 8th or 9th
- around 10pm sheena went back to her room to sleep. i think the psychologist recommended melatonin or something to help her sleep
i decided to hop back on online smash and just continue playing snake. winning a few quickplay games, then losing elite smash. one time i did win like two elite smash games in a row. i was at like 2.98 mil GSP and just wanted to pass 3 mil GSP. i think the cutoff for elite smash was like 2.92 mil. so i’d hover around there, get past that threshold, then back down to like 2.8 mil after losing an elite smash game. sigh. oh well, it’s good practice. i had some pretty rough matchups against a few wolfs and pichus, but good matches against two kens and a falcon. those were the most notable i think
- i stopped around 1am, getting back into elite smash. took a shower and now i’m typing this at 2:19am cause i procrastinated watching some NY videos on the site :p
- time to sleep, tomorrow’s gonna be my productive day. i’m gonna clean my clothes, fill out patient form, do some more reading on crossing the chasm, and maybe start figuring out the china plan with dimitri over text
also
this is the 365th post!!! we made it one whole year yay!!!
i definitely slacked off the last few months, using condensed posts and not really posting at the end of every day, usually every 2 or 3 days. but i’m glad that for most of the year i was able to document all of my days, and did actually keep up with it daily (up until the end of summer cause of everything that was going on)
i can’t believe it’s been a year already. what a long journey :p i’m not sure how long i’m gonna continue doing this but for now, i’m gonna keep it going!
WOOOO!!
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Counting My Blessings...Yet Again
New Post has been published on http://ourlittledinosaur.com/counting-my-blessings-yet-again/
Counting My Blessings...Yet Again
Counting Ones Blessings Can Never Be Overdone
My son is almost 2 years old now, and I am feeling extremely blessed for a variety of things.
I could go on and on about how intelligent my son is and praise God he is hitting every milestone. I am thankful for his very life! Which, admittedly, he challenges me to save nearly every day as he tests out his ever growing strength and physical capabilities. And I’m so very grateful for my husband, with whom I am privileged to call mine. It’s such an honor and brings me so much joy to stand by his side and raise our son together.
What a Journey!
I want to highlight another blessing that I have been reminded of. It’s a portion of Lil Dino Daddy, Lil Dino, and my journey that is looked back upon as a very vivid, bittersweet time.
I’m thankful to still be breastfeeding my son. I have posted before on the benefits of breastfeeding. (I want to also write soon about the benefits of breastfeeding a toddler.)
Let God Lead – Be Prayerful
But today, what I want to highlight is the importance of bringing God unto your decisions, and very specifically the importance of doing so through prayer. You know, the more I read the Bible, the more it makes sense to me. Reading through the Psalms and Proverbs and seeing exactly what God says about how to deal with life is incredibly helpful and practical.
Although, there are days when I don’t read God’s Word (and severely regret it as it is the ultimate way to “think on good things”), there are days when I don’t pray as I should. It’s becoming more habitual as now my son is the one holding me accountable at meal times. 😉
Prayer is Easier When I’m Desperate
My prayer life was never as strong as it was when I was struggling to breastfeed my son. In those early days that turned into weeks, and then turned to months, I just kept asking God for this “good gift” for my baby.
Over the past several years, beginning with my pregnancy, my husband and I have been striving to get back to the basics of life and nature and the way God designed things to be. (For instance, how food is not only life giving, but healing as well!) We’re learning to be more frugal, to waste less, taking steps – baby steps – to be healthier and be more cautious about what we put in and on our bodies. To us, breastfeeding was the natural extension of that lifestyle that we are gradually moving towards. It was the healthiest, most natural, most nutritious, way to feed our child. It was right in line with how God designed it and I was failing!
However, with the support of Lil’ Dino Daddy and others, and through much prayer and petition to our Abba Father, we were successful!
Take Heart! Ask for Help. Rejoice in the Lord!
So please let me encourage any of you new (or seasoned) Mamas who might be struggling with feeling like a failure in some way. Lean on God. Reach out to Him and ask Him for your needs. He wants to help you and guide you. He wants to hear from you, (just like you would want to hear from that tiny baby in your arms once he or she has grown up!).
Also, look around you and ask others for help. Many people want to help, but do not know how unless you tell them specifically.
Remember, no matter how a situation turns out, to worship God. I took many an opportunity rocking my baby to simply sing and pray OUT LOUD.
James 5:11
“Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.”
May we pray for you?
Feel free to comment what’s on your heart below. I would love for this to become a community and a safe place for all Mamas to share and learn from one another.
Have a story to share?
Email me your story and we’ll work together to post it on the blog.
Contact me at [email protected]
Need Breastfeeding Help?
I used this resource many times in that early stage of breastfeeding. I reference it even now as we are thinking of night weaning. Thanks KellyMom for being an online support for me and a place for me to find answers to what I thought were unlikely questions.
Like this post? Help us and others by Sharing!
Share List
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Counting My Blessings...Yet Again
New Post has been published on http://ourlittledinosaur.azurewebsites.net/counting-my-blessings-yet-again/
Counting My Blessings...Yet Again
Counting Ones Blessings Can Never Be Overdone
My son is almost 2 years old now, and I am feeling extremely blessed for a variety of things.
I could go on and on about how intelligent my son is and praise God he is hitting every milestone. I am thankful for his very life! Which, admittedly, he challenges me to save nearly every day as he tests out his ever growing strength and physical capabilities. And I’m so very grateful for my husband, with whom I am privileged to call mine. It’s such an honor and brings me so much joy to stand by his side and raise our son together.
What a Journey!
I want to highlight another blessing that I have been reminded of. It’s a portion of Lil Dino Daddy, Lil Dino, and my journey that is looked back upon as a very vivid, bittersweet time.
I’m thankful to still be breastfeeding my son. I have posted before on the benefits of breastfeeding. (I want to also write soon about the benefits of breastfeeding a toddler.)
Let God Lead – Be Prayerful
But today, what I want to highlight is the importance of bringing God unto your decisions, and very specifically the importance of doing so through prayer. You know, the more I read the Bible, the more it makes sense to me. Reading through the Psalms and Proverbs and seeing exactly what God says about how to deal with life is incredibly helpful and practical.
Although, there are days when I don’t read God’s Word (and severely regret it as it is the ultimate way to “think on good things”), there are days when I don’t pray as I should. It’s becoming more habitual as now my son is the one holding me accountable at meal times. 😉
Prayer is Easier When I’m Desperate
My prayer life was never as strong as it was when I was struggling to breastfeed my son. In those early days that turned into weeks, and then turned to months, I just kept asking God for this “good gift” for my baby.
Over the past several years, beginning with my pregnancy, my husband and I have been striving to get back to the basics of life and nature and the way God designed things to be. (For instance, how food is not only life giving, but healing as well!) We’re learning to be more frugal, to waste less, taking steps – baby steps – to be healthier and be more cautious about what we put in and on our bodies. To us, breastfeeding was the natural extension of that lifestyle that we are gradually moving towards. It was the healthiest, most natural, most nutritious, way to feed our child. It was right in line with how God designed it and I was failing!
However, with the support of Lil’ Dino Daddy and others, and through much prayer and petition to our Abba Father, we were successful!
Take Heart! Ask for Help. Rejoice in the Lord!
So please let me encourage any of you new (or seasoned) Mamas who might be struggling with feeling like a failure in some way. Lean on God. Reach out to Him and ask Him for your needs. He wants to help you and guide you. He wants to hear from you, (just like you would want to hear from that tiny baby in your arms once he or she has grown up!).
Also, look around you and ask others for help. Many people want to help, but do not know how unless you tell them specifically.
Remember, no matter how a situation turns out, to worship God. I took many an opportunity rocking my baby to simply sing and pray OUT LOUD.
James 5:11
“Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.”
May we pray for you?
Feel free to comment what’s on your heart below. I would love for this to become a community and a safe place for all Mamas to share and learn from one another.
Have a story to share?
Email me your story and we’ll work together to post it on the blog.
Contact me at [email protected]
Need Breastfeeding Help?
I used this resource many times in that early stage of breastfeeding. I reference it even now as we are thinking of night weaning. Thanks KellyMom for being an online support for me and a place for me to find answers to what I thought were unlikely questions.
Like this post? Help us and others by Sharing!
Share List
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