#(the way i called him lost and delirious downtown the next day was also fucked up. but he was in sound mind and body breaking up with me)
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i feel really sick (breakup vent)
#fuck!!!! working on programming homework and i am DISTRACTED#i think maybe my now-ex-partner is an asshole and i don’t like him#i think i miss being his friend and i care about him a lot#i think he wasn’t trying to throw me away he was just trying to recontextualize#but that he doesn’t get to dictate the context and i take any crumbs that i can get#i think i’m NOT inviting him to my birthday party even though i asked if i could and he agreed#i think maybe i don’t fucking like him. or at least i won’t in april#remember when he was nobody? remember when he was fucking wikipedia guy??#god. im pissed that we got emotionally vulnerable DIRECTLY leading into him breaking up with me#like i think it’s really fucked that he was stalling knowing that he would break up with me any minute and he’s asking about my fucking#sex offender grandpa like that’s not going to be a loaded question?? i wasn’t going to answer him straight even though we were together#at the time. i didn’t answer anything personal. but how did he not realize that’s a fucked thing to ask about when you’re about to tell me#that we’re not allowed to even be CLOSE FRIENDS anymore. god. shut up!!!!#i think we need to either have a follow-up conversation of what our real boundaries are going to be or we just need to not try to be friends#because the first time around was just me asking him what i’m allowed to do. and that’s fucked up#i want to be friends but the way he broke up with me is actually really fucked up#(the way i called him lost and delirious downtown the next day was also fucked up. but he was in sound mind and body breaking up with me)#(and i fucking wasn’t!!!! he broke up with me after i took my fucking meds!!!!)#(and i had told him i had a headache and felt sick!! it wasn’t the fucking time!!!!)#i don’t know. just talking out loud. advice appreciated if anyone has it i guess. i’m going to do my homework#me. my post. mine.#vent cw
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