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my-bated-breath · 4 years

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Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic

(featured below: a very self-indulgent Zutara post that uses Facts and Evidence to be self-indulgent)

When I joined the ATLA fandom, a common trend I've seen used to discredit Zutara was the belief that upon transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one, Zuko and Katara would immediately become The Worst (TM) for each other. It's quite the stretch, and the Zutara fandom nearly unanimously recognizes that. Still, since the attacks have yet to cease even 15 years after the show’s first release, I'd like to add my two-cents on the subject, along with a reference to actual research that is much harder to dismiss.

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships.

While “On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” covers a variety of aspects regarding how friends may approach a budding romantic relationship, this meta will focus on the section titled “The Trajectory from Platonic Friendship to Romantic Relationship,” which describes stages of intimacy that are in common between platonic and romantic relationships.

(I am only using this one source for my meta because as much as I love research and argumentative writing, I can only give myself so much more school work before I break. If you wish to see more sources that corroborate the argument from above, refer to the end of this meta at the “Works Cited.”)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

_____

Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

_____

(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

(Additional note: only the first three definitions will be relevant to this meta, but the other definitions are left in for all of you who want to speculate what the next part of this meta, which may or may not be published the following week, will be about.)

Let’s apply what we just learned back to the real Zuko-Katara relationship we see throughout the show. What attributes of healthy and natural friends-to-lovers dynamics may they check off?

Perceiving similarities:

Zuko and Katara share an astounding number of parallels in background and character throughout the show. Both their mothers had sacrificed their lives to save them, and then there are many deliberate parallels drawn between Zuko and Katara’s confrontations in the Day of Black Sun and The Southern Raiders, respectively. Of course, there are more, but since I do not have much to add to this subject, I’ll say that perceiving these similarities helps contribute to…

Pair rapport:

We see three standout examples of this from the show in which Zuko and Katara “make positive emotional and behavioral responses” towards each other: In the Crossroads of Destiny, the Southern Raiders, and Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

(1) Crossroads of Destiny. Zuko and Katara bond over the loss of their mothers in the Crystal Catacombs, allowing themselves to truly see the other for the first time as well as for them to speak civilly and intimately (is this self-disclosure I see?) with each other. Of course, their conversation (on-screen or off-screen) is meaningful enough for Katara to offer to use the Spirit Oasis water to heal Zuko’s scar.

(2) The Southern Raiders. The journey Zuko and Katara take for her to achieve closure (which is something Zuko himself knew was necessary to heal and grow) is the catalyst for Katara forgiving Zuko. Though there is no true “rapport” in the scene where Katara forgives him, all other banter/conversations (in the Ember Island Players and the ATLA finale) between Katara and Zuko are reliant on the moment she forgives him.

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. In the finale, Zuko experiences a moment of uncertainty before just before he faces his uncle -- his uncle who had always been there for him since the days of his banishment, his uncle had loved him unconditionally even when Zuko did not know that such love was possible, his uncle who loved him like his own son, his uncle who he betrayed in the Crystal Catacombs, his uncle who turned away when he was encased in crystal, too disappointed to look him in the eye. He tells this to Katara -- and what does Katara say to Zuko in response?

“Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

The dialogue speaks for itself. The positive emotional response, the open communication, and the (rightful) encouragement Katara provides, all without invalidating Zuko’s self-doubt, demonstrates the epitome of pair rapport. Further elaboration would simply be me gushing over their dynamic.

Self-disclosure:

Self-disclosure involves revealing intimate feelings. We’re revisiting the same three episodes that we covered up above since they all include self-disclosure.

(1) The Crossroads of Destiny. When he reaches out in the Crystal Catacombs, Zuko reveals something to Katara that he has never told anyone before, perhaps something he didn’t even want to admit to himself -- in response to “the Fire Nation took my mother away from me” he says “that's something we have in common.” And to say that out loud, to say it to himself and Katara when for three whole years he’s been trying to convince himself that the Fire Nation is good and that his father loves him -- there are no words to describe it. It’s both awe-inspiring and heartbreaking to see that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain is what allowed them to see each other as more than the “face of the enemy,” and it’s something so poignant that it forms an immediately profound connection between the two.

(2) The Southern Raiders. On their way to the Fire Nation communications tower on Whale Tail Island, Katara tells the story of her mother’s death, a story that has haunted her memories for years, looming over her as a ghost, a wound that festers into fear to grief to anger. This was the moment that divided Katara’s life into the Before and the After, the one that forced her to abandon childhood and to become a mother to her own brother (as implied by Sokka in his conversation with Toph in the Runaway). And yet this is the first time we see her tell someone her story in the show, full and vivid as if it happened yesterday. Because even though she mentioned her mother before to Aang, Haru, and Jet in order to sympathize with them -- it’s just that. Sympathizing. This time she tells Zuko about her mother’s death for her own sake rather than for another’s. And it’s an incredibly intimate moment, one that is made even more fragile, wrenching, and beautiful by Zuko’s response -- “Your mother was a brave woman.”

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. Throughout the second half of season 3, Zuko shares his love and insecurities regarding Iroh to every member of the GAang.

In the Firebending Masters, he mentions to Aang offhandedly -- and perhaps too offhandedly, as if he didn’t want to believe it himself -- that Iroh, Dragon of the West, received his honorary title for killing the last dragon.

An episode later in part one of the Boiling Rock, Zuko talks about his uncle with near constancy. He brews tea for the GAang and (endearingly) tries retelling “Uncle’s favorite tea joke.” He tells Sokka, “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that… I meant my uncle. He was more of a father to me. And I really let him down.” He (fails at, adorably) giving advice to Sokka when the rescue mission to the Boiling Rock has begun to look helpless, asking himself “what would Uncle say?” before completely floundering away.

Then, in the Ember Island Players, he shares a sweet moment with Toph, bitterly spitting out that

“...for me, [the play] takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

Toph, in turn, reveals the thoughtful side to her character, the side that is almost always hidden, telling Zuko that “you have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.”

And every one of these moments matter, because we see Zuko’s inner conflict (though this inner conflict does not exist to the extent at which it did at the first half of season 3) and its evolution. First, with Aang, he remains skeptical and disillusioned. Second, with Sokka, his longing for Iroh’s love and presence manifests itself in him imitating his uncle as well as he can. Third, with Toph, he finally admits everything he had been afraid of ever since he saw Iroh’s empty prison cell during the eclipse -- that Iroh is disappointed in him. That Iroh hates him. That Iroh will never accept him again.

And for a moment, with Toph’s encouraging response and Zuko’s resulting little smile, it appears as though Zuko’s internal conflict arc is concluded. But we are wrong -- because in the finale of the show, we are given the true climax and resolution to Zuko’s insecurities, fears, and self-loathing. And who is it that he shares this moment with?

It speaks volumes about Zuko and Katara’s relationship that Katara is the one to comfort Zuko in this scene, in that last moment of hesitation right before he steps inside his uncle’s tent, preparing himself to see his uncle as a completely changed person. As a person who now knows humility and unconditional love. And remember -- selecting Katara to be in this scene is a deliberate narrative choice because ATLA was written by a team of producers and writers, and perhaps even if it wasn’t, it becomes a powerful moment in which Zuko’s arc with Iroh reaches its peak.

Simply having Katara there in this scene already has such a great narrative impact, but then the show gives us some of the most intimate dialogue that Zuko, a naturally closed-off person, delivers (although his emotional outbursts may suggest otherwise, Zuko tends to hide most of his internally conflicting feelings to himself. Hence, he is always able to dramatically monologue about his honor, his country, and his throne -- because he’s trying to convince himself to play a part. But that’s another meta for another day).

Let’s begin by comparing Toph and Zuko’s dialogue with Katara and Zuko’s dialogue because both see the other party validating Zuko’s feelings.

(Warning: the following section plunges deep into the realm of speculation and overanalyzing dialogue. Regarding literature or any media, there are countless ways to interpret the source material, and this is simply one way it could be done.)

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue:

Toph: Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something!

Zuko: You don't get it, it's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.

Toph: Yeah, that's pretty great!

Zuko: But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.

_____

Although Toph and Zuko’s dynamic is one of the most innocent and understanding throughout the show, the conversation begins with Toph joking with a negative connotation -- that “even [Zuko seemed] more down than usual, and that’s saying something!” Thus, the conversation opener is not one that allows for Zuko to easily be emotionally vulnerable, and so he responds bitterly and angrily -- “You don’t get it, it’s different for you” and “...and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back.” By stating that their portrayals in the shows were different, Zuko mentally places a wall between himself and Toph, saying that “[Toph doesn’t] get it.” Then, the rhetorical question Zuko asks himself and the shortness with which he answers the question showcases a forceful and biting tone, indicating that he is covering up his inner turmoil with vehemence. This tendency is something we’ve seen Zuko default to before, whenever he had shouted the oft-mocked “I must restore my honor!” lines in response to a few introspective questions Iroh had asked (though once again, that’s another meta for another day). Now, let’s examine the remainder of their conversation.

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.

Zuko: How do you know?

Toph: Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you.

Zuko: Really?

Toph: Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.

Zuko: Oh, sorry.

_____

Here we see Toph and Zuko’s conversation take a more serious turn as Toph becomes more sincere. Zuko, however, is still full of self-doubt as he is constantly questioning Toph with “how do you know?” and “really” and “oh, sorry.”

(featured up above: Zuko looking dejected and doubtful.)

Still, the conversation ends on a sweet and inspiring note:

_____

Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud.

_____

Hence, though Zuko and Toph’s conversation displays a heartening and hopeful dynamic, Zuko is ultimately still guarded for the majority of their conversation. Now, let’s look at how Katara approaches Zuko in the Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

_____

Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters Dialogue:

Katara: Are you okay?

Zuko: No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?

Katara: Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?

Zuko: More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.

_____

In direct contrast to the conversation opener with Toph, Katara begins to engage Zuko with an openly concerned question. And even though Katara never disappointed an Iroh-figure in her life in the way Zuko has, Zuko immediately doesn’t close himself off from her, he doesn’t create a wall that prevents him from revealing his deepest fears to her. During this scene, he neither sounds bitter or angry -- he sounds lost, doubtful, and afraid (perhaps even afraid to hope). This shift in tone is blatant in his voice (thanks to Dante Basco’s line delivery) but even with nothing but the written dialogue, we can note the difference in which he describes his turmoil to Toph and as compared to Katara:

With Toph: “But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

With Katara: “No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?”

With Katara, the underlying bitterness from his conversation with Toph is toned down to the point of nonexistence, though a part of it is still there. With Toph, Zuko says, “it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and shoves them back in my face,” which is a rather incensed statement. Meanwhile, by saying, “no, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it,” Zuko directly addresses his self-loathing without the use of language such as “shoves them back in my face,” the latter of which is reminiscent of how individuals may unthinkingly reveal information in a sudden emotional outburst.

Then, when Katara asks him if he’s sorry for what he did, the words come easily to Zuko, the most easily he admits to his own mistakes after three years of not admitting anything truthful to himself: “More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.”

And Katara, just as Toph did, says with the utmost confidence and sincerity, “Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

This moment of affirmation that runs parallel between both dialogues is where Zuko’s responses begin to diverge. Whereas Zuko reacts to Toph with disbelief and doubt, this is how he reacts once he hears Katara’s words:

He takes Katara’s words to heart and accepts them. Because out of all the GAang, Katara is the one who knows the most about forgiving him, who most keenly feels the change he underwent since his betrayal in the catacombs. And so he stands, still nervous but no longer afraid, facing forward towards the future instead of back into his past.

Iroh and Zuko’s relationship is one of the most important ones throughout the entire show, so to see Katara play a pivotal role in a critical point in their dynamic shows just how important Katara’s character is to Zuko (and vice versa, though in here I do touch upon the former in more detail).

Although my analysis on the self-disclosure between Zuko and Katara may have run away from me a bit (due to my love for far-too-in-depth critical analysis), these all show an undeniable bond between Zuko and Katara, displaying a profound friendship rooted in narrative parallels, mutual understanding, and interwoven character arcs. Ultimately, their fulfillment of perceived similarities, pair rapport, and (the one I rambled most on) self-disclosure is what establishes Zuko and Katara as not just a strong platonic bond -- but one that has the potential to transition into a romantic one.

Thus concludes my essay on Zutara’s friendship and its connection with the initial stages of intimacy that are shared between both platonic and romantic bonds. After all that analysis, it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.

That being said, I will explore the possibility of a romantic relationship between Zuko and Katara and how this connects to the latter stages of intimacy -- role-taking, interpersonal role fit, and dyadic crystallization -- in part 2 of this meta-analysis. Click on the link if you want to read it!

Part 2

Works Cited

(only partially in MLA 8 format because I want to live a little)

Close Relationships: A Sourcebook. By Clyde A. Hendrick & Susan S. Hendrick. Link

“Nonverbal behavior in intimate interactions and intimate relationships.” By P.A Andersen, Laura K. Guerrero, & Susanne M. Jones. Link

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends’: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship.” By Laura K. Guerrero & Paul A. Mongeau. Link

The Psychology of Intimacy (The Guilford Series on Personal Relationships). By Karen J. Prager. Link

(If you check some of these links, you may note a few of these sources have been cited quite a few times. With just a bit more research, it appears possible to find a plethora of other sources to corroborate the theory of shared platonic-romantic intimacies.)

Thank you all for reading!

#atla #atla meta #zutara #zutara meta #my bated breath analyzes #research on relationship intimacy #influenced by academic writing #i have more metas coming soon #but until then you can find that i do other writing as well #like fanfiction #check out my fanfiction on the My Writing tab on my blog #please like and reblog to prove Zutara with Facts and Evidence everyone #my bated breath's posts

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years

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Could you please do 74 and 87 from the prompt list you just reblogged?

thanks so much for the request! sorry it took longer than expected!!

Above Board

Word Count: 1.5k Warning: just fluff Summary: Becca and Ethan are having dinner in the diagnostics office and rehash memories from her intern year.

A/N: The prompt list used is Prompt List #2: 74. “You’re so cute.” and 87. “Oh my god I love you.”

________________________________________

Becca and Ethan sat on the couch in the diagnostics office reminiscing about the past over their Chinese takeout instead of researching for the case they were meant to be reviewing. Their topic of conversation moved to her very first day at Edenbrook, from first impressions to first cases and mistakes. Becca’s legs were folded under her and her body facing Ethan as she shoveled some chow mein into her starved mouth.

Mmm ohmygod this is so good, she thought to herself momentarily taking her away from their conversation as the savory noodles met her taste buds.

Ethan brought her back to their conversation by adding, “And then you tried to kill another patient.”

He looked over to her slightly. Ethan sat on the opposite side of the couch a half seat away from her. He was hunched over the container of chicken, his long legs stretched out past the coffee table. His tie was loose of his neck, the only feeling of comfort he allowed while under the hospital roof.

The glint in his eye told her he was kidding, but the accusation still stung deep to her core.

“Don’t bring up Annie,” she quickly scolded. “I still feel bad about it.” There was a pause while she finished chewing. “Did you save two lives on your first day?”

“No…” Ethan conceded with a chuckle, “I actually kept all my patients alive without any drama.”

“Lucky you,” Becca rolled her eyes playfully. “I’m glad Jackie was there to help. Less so that you humiliated me for a second time that day.”

The office was dark save for the warm lamps by Ethan’s desk and the one nestled between the couch and the chair. The light peering in through the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the free clinic gave them a sense of security. No one would come looking for this this late in the evening, nor would they be privy to the sight of the two comfortable colleagues.

“You learned from it, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question, they both know she did.

“But if I wasn’t so confident I probably would have given up medicine that day,” She lamented with a frown. “I’m glad you lightened your approach to interns.”

He shifted his large body on the couch to face her. Ethan raised an impish eyebrow, “I didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

Becca chuckled before sliding closer to him so their knees nearly overlapped. “I’m glad my good graces are rubbing off on you.” She placed a quick kiss on his temple. “If it wasn’t for Bryce talking some sense into me who knows what would have happened.”

“That’s because he wanted to get in your pants,” he said with complete malice.

“Hey! You didn’t even know who either of us were back then. He was a shoulder to cry on in the supply closet when you made me feel like shit.” She retorted playfully, noticing how his clear blue eyes immediately darkened at the thought of her with anyone else. “What’s with that face?”

“I don’t think he was professional at all.” Neither are we, she thought to herself. If Becca did say those words out loud Ethan was sure to backtrack once again, and she didn’t want them going through another game of chicken between feelings and morals. Third year of residency is only three months away. Becca has been tiptoeing around, trying her best not to scare him off before she makes attending and they can hopefully openly be together.

“He was a friend,” she told him. “He’s still my friend.”

Ethan raised his fork, “A friend that wants to date you.”

“Ethan, that was almost two years ago!” she exclaimed. “And anyway your adorable jealousy is misplaced. It should really be directed towards Rafael.”

Without a moment of hesitation he all but shouted, “You and the EMT!?”

Becca would be lying if she said his outburst wasn’t entertaining. As annoying as having to constantly explain her simply platonic relationship with Bryce had become, she’s adoring the way he’s flared up now.

With the sliest of smiles she shrugged, “Yes. I may or may not have a type.”

“Why have you just told me this? I workout with him every morning!” Ethan’s dish was now left abandoned on the coffee table. His loosened tie hung low and his sculpted arms were folded tightly around his chest. Any ounce of previous amusement had been drained from his system. “How long were you together?”

“You also workout with Bryce every morning,” she pointed out the flaw in his weak rationalization. Becca took a second for him to digest that little detail. Unfortunately for her he didn’t register the remark. With a long breath she clarified, “We were never together. We did have a thing for a little while.”

A brief moment of panic flashed through Ethan at her words. Does she consider us to be of the same fate given our undefined relationship status?

Although they weren’t official, Ethan considered him and Becca to be in an exclusive partnership. He made a mental note to follow up with her on this at a later occasion.

“How long was a little while,” he asked warily.

“A few months.” She could see the wheels turning in his head. “We fizzled out after Miami…”

His features visibly relaxed, “Good.”

You’re so cute, she thought as she continued to taunt him with notions of the past.

As Ethan sat before her with the remnants of a scowl on his worn features and his eyes shut to let his shoulders relax, all the memories came flooding back to her - of Miami and the way Ethan let her slowly know him as he truly is, vulnerabilities and all clouded her mind.

She played over every seemingly romantic moment of intern year swiftly in their silence. Briefly her relationship with Raf came to light.

Becca’s eyes widened just a little bit.

“Actually I lied,” she said as she remembered her final encounter with Raf. “We hooked up in the on-call room the day you quit.”

“Explain.” Ethan’s hand flew to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“You left the hospital. You left me. I was so hurt and rejected and full of feelings. We both agreed it was a poor choice of timing.”

“And?”

Becca threw her hands up in honest surrender, “And it was completely above board.”

“You didn’t…” Why couldn’t Ethan think of the goddamn word? He was a doctor. Years of training had taught him countless ways of asking a patient about their sex life, so why was he blanking now? “...Consummate?”

“We didn’t have intercourse, no. Completely above waist pleasure.” Becca tried so hard to bite back the smile breaking through. “That ok with you?”

Ethan’s fingers abandoned their position on his nose and flopped down on the couch. “No.”

“We weren’t together, Ethan.” Becca shook her head. Is this argument really worth it? Why can’t he just let it go... “You made that choice for us again and again. It doesn’t even matter now. He’s marrying the love of his life and starting a family. It’s all worked out for the best.”

Letting out the breath and all the insecurities he had bottled up over the last few minutes he sighed, “Good.”

Ethan leaned over to the divine woman on his right, snaking his arm around her back to tug her closer. The jolt sent her fumbling right into his chest.

She exhaled with contention as she breathed him in, How does he always smell so good.

He let out the smallest chortle as he leaned in and pecked her nose. Ethan looked Becca over as he held her so securely in his arms. He went back to reminiscing, “You actually did make an impression on me that first day.”

Ethan was looking straight ahead as if the memory was playing out on a stage before him. “It’s a lesser fond memory of our relationship, however still important.” Becca craned her neck to get a better view of him. Ethan Ramsey had an idyllic smirk as he continued, “You ordered me a scotch. Neat.��

Her eyes lit up at the memory. “Oh yeah. You accused me of bribing you.” She pulled away from him just enough to wiggle around and face him head-on. “Is that when you fell for me? Because I knew my way around a bar?”

Ethan wasn't listening, still so transfixed in the memory. “You thanked me for making you better.”

“And you told me never to take the job home.” Her brown eyes followed his to the dark corner of the room. Now they both watched their beginning play out in the days eclipse. “Failed at that one.”

Ethan tore his eyes off the past and to the future sitting next to him. He lifted her onto his lap.

“Subjective.”

He wiggled his eyebrows and shot her a wink.

Becca laughed at his attempt to play coy, “Oh my god, Why do I love you?”

Ethan smiled back just as brightly, “Heaven knows.”

________________________________________

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hunnybadgerv · 4 years

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Remy: What was your OC’s childhood like?, What subjects did your OC excel at?, How does your OC handle grief?, What secrets does your OC have?, How does your OC display love?, What is your OC’s favorite book?

What was your OC’s childhood like? Remy’s childhood was a little strange. Her mother was killed when she was very young, shot when they were walking down the street to her dance lesson. The most vivid memory Remy really has from that experience is the red blood seeping into the fabric of her ballet shoes and the way it spidered through the silk. After that, she was raised by her father and in part her older brother.

She was six or seven at the above point, so she already knew Johnny and Dex (they’d met when she started school and become an early childhood educator’s nightmare). Her father’s work kept him rather busy--a fair number of business trips. A few years after, she was moved across town to a private school mainly because she and Dex and Johnny proved entirely unable to not get themselves suspended on the regular. They still got up to nonsense in the neighborhood, but that her dad could better deal with.

When her dad died, her life took on a whole other shift. At about 14, if I recall her timeline correctly, she leaves Stilwater and is sent to live with family overseas. This is the end of her “formal” education.

What subjects did your OC excel at? In grade school, she prefers the ones that keep her active and she’s partial to English because she likes stories.

Once she leaves Stilwater, her education takes a whole different direction and she excels at marksmanship and hand-to-hand, despite her size.

How does your OC handle grief? She handles it a little better than most of my bosses. She knows that you’re bound to lose everyone. And it sucks, but you have to keep hold of the good parts and let the other go away. She realizes that grief can be torture or it can be remembrance. She prefers the latter. It doesn’t keep her from occasionally having nightmares or concerns for the people around her. But she actually will talk when she needs it, even if it is to some random drunk guy on the corner (which has happened before).

What secrets does your OC have? Oh gosh. I’m not even sure I know them all. I don’t think Matt realizes that her childhood kind of took a turn along the lines of the film The Professional. She just assumes he’s dug up all the skeletons that even the press couldn’t find. Stories that aren’t hers to tell, she keeps to herself, but I wouldn’t call those secrets.

I’m finding that going through the things I consider secrets, aren’t really that way for her. If someone asked about it, she would probably tell them. Her childhood, however, is tougher for her to talk about, even the good parts. But even that isn’t really a secret.

I think one of the things she did keep secret for a long time was her budding interest in Matt. She couldn’t explain it and she went back and forth about how she felt about it, especially given the age difference between them.

How does your OC display love? Remy tends to be rather open with her platonic feelings of love, though her way of showing it might be a little on the unhealthy side. She teases and taunts the people she’s closest too. There’s playful, good-natured teasing. Though if she were to do these things with a stranger, they could be viewed as offensive or derisive. Remy never means them that way.

With romantic relationships, it is a little different. She’s well aware that sex is a thing that’s meant to display love, and while she’s long been used to not getting much out of sex she will jump into bed with someone she’s got a romantic attraction to. But for her the ways she really displays her feelings are in the little tiny ways--grabbing an extra apple because Matt has probably forgotten to eat, making a mug of tea when she’s getting coffee, knowing how someone takes their drink of choice, touching people, even if it is just pressing her leg up against his or brushing her fingers against his when they are standing close.

Even with friends, you’ll see that need for touch, though it is not always as gentle. She has a tendency to punch Johnny and Pierce in the shoulders, bruisingly hard, just to say hi.

What is your OC’s favorite book? Remy is a bit of a romantic, so it really shouldn’t be surprising that she’s as big a fan of Jane Austen as Zinyak was. She’s never really gotten tongue-tied around “celebrities” until they found Austen on the Zin ship. If she was forced to pick a favorite it would probably be Persuasion. When she was younger she was a fan of Northanger Abbey, mainly because she went through what she calls a Gothic stage, where she voraciously consumed a lot of Gothic literature like Castle of Otranto, Carmilla, Dracula, Frankenstein, etc.

#Saints Row #Remy McGinnis #She's a fun one #blood mention #twistedsinews

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wcsleyevans · 4 years

Text

a bit about wesley evans

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

Name: wesley roman evans

Eye Color: brown

Hair Style/Color: curly brown short hair

Height: 5′11

Clothing Style: usually something comfortable to wear in a lab - old trainers, jeans and a graphic tee with some sort of science joke on it

Best Physical Feature: smile

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: his lies about his research being found out

Bad Habits: obsessing over something for a long time and then forgetting about it, biting his nails

Ambition for the Future: to become a father and raise a future scientist

Biggest regret: how things ended with alexa

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: "coffee... must. drink. coffee.”

What They Think About the Most: either science fiction or actual science

What They Think About Before Bed: the show he just watched before bed

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: his positivity & ability to help others

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: single

To be Loved or Respected: loved

Beauty or Brains: brains

Dogs or Cats: cats

LAYER FIVE: DO THEY?

Lie: yes, a lot of the time. about research, about his feelings towards people, about what he actually wants the most in life

Have scars/birthmarks: a lot of scars from experiments gone wrong. a large burn mark on his arm from a heating block, a big scar from an exploding conical flask, and lots of cuts on his fingers from picking up glass

Believe in Themselves: not really - his research clearly isn’t good enough to get him anywhere so he lies about it

Believe in Love: absolutely. platonic, romantic, familial. all kinds of love

Want Someone: absolutely

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: nope

Done Drugs: no

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: he became a bit closed off and impatient when he decided to change his results in order for no one to suspect him of doing anything wrong. but didn’t change to fit in. if anything, when he met sofia he became more himself

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite Color: emerald green – the colour of bis(N-sec-butylsalicylaldiminato)nickel(II) to be exact. it was the first crystal he every managed to correctly synthesise

Favorite Music: he doesn’t like to admit it, but wes is a big t swift fan

Favorite Animal: cats

Favorite Drink: freshly brewed coffee

Favorite Food: salted popcorn

Favorite Place: his lab

Favorite Sport: he hates sport but if he were to pick one, it would be lacrosse

Favorite Season: autumn

Favorite Holiday: thanksgiving

LAYER EIGHT: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: outgoing and extroverted, someone he can talk to about anything even if they don’t understand it

Best Eye Color: doesn’t care

Best Hair Color: doesn’t care

Best thing to do With a Partner: watch sci fi movies and try to ruin the plot by explaining the science. or just sit and talk about nothing, and everything

LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: my work. it’s so cool

I hate: the fact that i might get caught one day

I feel: so lucky to have a best friend like sofia

I hide: my real findings

I miss: how easy the first few years of the academy were

I wish: things had ended differently with alexa. she deserved so much more than she got with me, and i wish she knew just how much that relationship actually meant to me

QUESTIONNAIRE FOR THE MUSE:

What do you look like? (Include body type, frame, hair, eyes, skin, age, and distinguishing features): i’m quite slim, but on the odd occasion i get time off work i go jogging so i guess there’s a bit of muscle definition. i have brown curly hair, brown eyes and tanned skin. my most distinguishing feature is probably my eyes, they’re quite big and expressive

How do you dress most of the time?: i usually wear a graphic tee of some superhero or science joke, jeans and some old shoes that are comfy. oh and also usually a lab coat and goggles, y’know, for science purposes

How do you “dress up”?: i have only ever dressed up once for prom and i wore one of my dad’s old suits that was too big for me. not a good look. but i would wear a nice, fitted suit if i ever had to go to an event that needed one

How do you “dress down”?: joggers and a baggy t-shirt. and fleeces. fleeces were the best thing in scotland as it is freezing up there

What do you wear when you go to sleep?: pyjama bottoms. usually flannel pattern, but i have some in evans tartan which are my favourite thing i own

Do you wear any jewelry?: can’t wear jewellery in the lab unfortunately. too many chemicals and lasers

In your opinion, what is your best feature?: i love how excited and passionate i get about things

How many siblings do you have?: just me bud

What is your father like?: such a supportive guy. he moved us all the way from scotland so that i could go to a better school and become a scientist and for that i’ll be forever grateful. he doesn’t necessarily understand all that i do, but he knows how much it means to me that he’s supportive anyway

What is your mother like?: mum is amazing. she was the head of a firm of accountants in edinburgh and she gave that up so we could move here. she’s so compassionate and kind, and her and dad were made for each other. most supportive parents you can get to be honest

Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?: i live in a flat in grove harbour by myself. it’s quite spacious as it’s not in the nicest part of town, but i’ve installed cameras, extra security systems and made it really safe. it’s a nice apartment actually. spacious kitchen, cosy living room. it can get messy but mess stresses me out (when it’s not in my lab... that’s a whole different story) so it tends to stay tidy

Are you emotional, depressed, ect?: i’d say i’m an emotional person, sure. luckily i don’t have any mental illnesses.

Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?: i’d say i’m straight, have never thought of guys in that way before but i wouldn’t completely take it off the table. i have been in love with sof since i was about thirteen though and haven’t really though about anyone else other than alexa, so i guess that answers that question

How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish?: i’m ticklish everywhere. literally everywhere. mainly around my waist, but my feet are super ticklish too

What do you do when you are bored?: i watch old re-runs of sci fi shows, and browse the internet for plotholes. or go see sof. either’s good

What do you envy most?: i envy people advancing in their research. i’ve been at a standstill for months and i don’t know why, and it’s driving me mad

#musings

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miraniel · 6 years

Text

l85 questions tag game

Tagged by @peppermintfeminist. Hi mate! You’re the best!

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Alcoholic? You’re kidding right? I recently tried a milliliter of Somerset Apple Brandy and NOPE, never again. Non-alcoholic? Water with lemon.

2. Phone call: My parents, just before I left for England, where I am now (not over the excitement yet)

3. Text message: “Yes” in response to my grandmother, who asked if I got her text.

4. Song you listened to: Reflection from Mulan

5. Time you cried: Two days ago, in the middle of a back country road in Somerset, over a goddamn Severus Snape fanfic. I’m still mad that the writer actually managed to make me care about fucking Snape.

— Have you ever…

6. Dated someone twice: No. Have I dated someone once? Yes, but only by accident.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No.

8. Been cheated on: Look I’m ace as fuck and have never dated really ever.

9. Lost someone special: Yes, I’ve lost friends in multiple senses.

10. Been depressed: I don’t think so.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Any alcohol has this taste for me that the best I’ve been able to describe it is “rancid nickles,” it’s bloody awful, and I’ve never been able to stomach more than a sip of the stuff, so no.

— Fave colours

12. Olive green.

13. Purple.

14. Deep cerulean.

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: Not really. I made a couple of cordial acquaintences in the drama productions I’ve been in, but no one close.

16. Fallen out of love: No, see above about being ace as fuck. Now, my brief obsession with the show Sherlock...

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes. So many times.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, in both good ways and bad ways.

19. Met someone who changed you: So many people. Just one who springs to mind is my Education professor at college. She was amazing.

20. Found out who your friends are: I am fully aware that I am a terrible long-distance friend. It’s my worst flaw and I wish I was better about this. I think I’ve betrayed more friendships by just letting them slip away than I ever have had people turn on, or abandon, me.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Unless we’re referring to familial pecks on cheeks... no.

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Nearly all of them, apart from one random guy that my cousins met online and who has since befriended the entire family.

23. Do you have any pets: I no longer live at home, but my family still has one of the two cats we had when I was growing up.

24. Do you want to change your name: I think about it sometimes. I think about it a lot. I’ve just started using a new name with an eye to it becoming my official pen name. I don’t know if I want to start using it as my everyday name.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Oh, crap... I can’t remember. I think my mom was there, and my grandparents. We had cake and a tiny family party. I think. All I remember is I was glad I didn’t have a play rehearsal that day.

26. What time did you wake up today: 6:50 am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping, for once in my life.

28. What is something you can’t wait for: Finally achieving my lifelong goal: being employed, being published, and being financially stable enough that I can afford a little house, with a dishwasher and laundry, and a cat, and food, and health insurance, and Netflix. It seems... a long way off. Also the next episode of Supergirl?

29. This question is mysteriously missing, so I will pose a question to the universe/the people I’m going to tag: What was the first piece of media (film, book, world, comic, game, character, etc) that you were ever obsessed with?

30. What are you listening to right now: Silence.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Several Tims, but no Toms. Excluding possibly some random middle aged guys back when I was growing up because who remembers that sort of thing

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: People assuming I’m in my early teens and asking me things like how high school is going. Then I’m like, “Nope, I’m like ten years older than that, graduated college a while ago now,” and they’re like “Oh, you look so young,” and I’m like “I know!!” and then (and this is the bit that’s driving me crazy) they all say “You’ll be so grateful when you’re my age!” Like... I just kind of called you out for patronizing me? And your immediate response is to patronize me again? Also there’s no guarantee that I’ll still look ten years younger than I actually am when I’m 50? Also, I may be grateful or not when I’m your age but it sure isn’t doing me any favors now? Please stop. Just stop.

33. Most visited website: I may or may not be slightly obsessed with Nonasuch’s fantastic Dogfather Harry Potter AU and I might check their tumblr once or twice a day.

34. Hair colour: Somewhere between dirty blond and light brown now. It was blond when I was a kid.

35. Long or short hair: Okay, so I really want to be able to braid my hair elaborately again, but I also love the feel of short hair on the back of my neck. Right now it’s in an inbetween stage and I can have neither of these things. What is a person to do.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: I had things I called crushes when I was in high school and hadn’t figured out I’m ace as fuck. I get hardcore friend crushes.

37. What do you like about yourself: I’m proud of my talents, though I play them down more than I should, and I neglect to practice them more than I should. I like how far I’ve come figuring out my identity and who I am these past six years or so.

38. Want any piercings: Under no circumstances am I voluntarily going to sit still and let someone poke a needle through me or into me for anything other than a medical necessity. This applies to tattoos as well. I respect people who have them, but hell no for me.

39. Blood type: SOMEONE knows because I’ve had a blood transfusion, I think, but I don’t have a clue.

40. Nicknames: I have wanted a nickname my entire life and nothing has ever stuck.

41. Relationship status: Single asexual inactively seeks person willing to share habitation, bookshelves, Netflix, pet, and nerdy conversation for the rest of their life.

42. Sign: I don’t do the zodiac thing at all, but I’m an INTJ and a Hufflepuff.

43. Pronouns: Um, this is a weird place and time to do this, but since you asked, I’ve just changed them to “they/them.”

44. Fave tv show: Ever? Avatar the Last Airbender. Right now? Supergirl, The Flash, Miraculous Ladybug

45. Tattoos: See above regarding NEEDLES

46. Fave city: Albuquerque. Fight me.

47: Ever had surgery: When I was a kid I had The Case of Pneumonia From Hell and Fun Times in Hospitals and got chest tubes and part of my lung removed. Also a few minor random stuff.

48. Piercings: See above regarding needles. The needle phobia is directly related to the Fun Times in Hospitals.

49. Sport: Literally none. I’ll watch gymnastics and skating every four years, but apart from that the highlight of my interest in sports was that time that JKR was live-writing the Quidditch World Cup on Pottermore.

50. Vacation: I’m in Oxford right now, somewhere I’ve always dreamed of being! And I’m on my way to Scotland and Wales.

— More general

52. Eating: Sushi, macaroni and cheese, fruit, chocolate, scones

53. Drinking: tea, tea, tea, milk, orange juice, non-alcoholic lemonade or apple cider, water, tea, tea, tea

54. I’m about to watch: Brooklyn 99 (The UK has it on netflix!!)

55. Waiting for: My betas to come back to me on my novel draft. Then it’s agent shopping!

56. Want: A cat, the ability to focus, the ability to read properly without stupid eye problems, a job, writing time

57. Get married: ... growing up I fantasized about getting married because I wanted my paternal cousins to meet my maternal cousins and I couldn’t think of any way that would likely happen apart from my marriage and I think they would get on like a house on fire.. this still seems like one of the only motivating factors for me ever to get married.

58. Career: Author and poet and crazy cat lady

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs

60. Lips or eyes: Neither. I don’t actually like making eye contact even though I’ve learned to do it, and why would I stare at people’s mouths?

61. Shorter or taller: For a dance partner? Taller, but not significantly so.

62. Older or younger: If this is meant to be about romantic partners? Because why would anyone ask this question? Significant age gaps are generally not a good thing either way, except possibly between two consenting adults who understand and work to alleviate the uneven power dynamic a significant age gap typically creates?

63. Nice arms or stomach: The heck?

64. Hookup or relationships: Relationships.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant and trying to overcome it

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: NOPE

67. Drank hard liquor: See above regarding the horrors created by my taste buds and any alcohol.

68. Turned someone down: Yes. It was awwwkward, but he was a friend. Normally, when I suspect someone likes me, I run away and never speak to them again. Trying to get over that.

69. Sex on first date: Uh nnnoooo

70: Broken someone’s heart: I hope not

71. Had your heart broken: By friendships, yeah.

72. Been arrested: Nope

73. Cried when someone died: Not really.

74. Fallen for a friend: A couple times, but in like, a really aggressively platonic way

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: Yes.

76. Miracles: Yes.

77. Love at first sight: Yes, because it basically happened to my parents. Theirs is a story of being bookstore managers, an immediate attraction, a mutual failure to understand origami, and a shared love of Star Trek. It would make a perfect rom com but there was literally no drama. My parents are adorable.

78. Santa Claus: I have always had the ability to choose what I believe in. Santa Claus was one of those things, long after I knew the truth.

79. Angels: Not really of the stereotypical “feathery wings and flawless skin” type. In the possibility or even likelihood of benevolent forces or beings outside human comprehension that are not a divine creator but may be from or of the divine, yes. This likely has a lot to do with how many times I read Narnia, The Dark is Rising, and A Wrinkle in Time as a kid, now I think about it.

— Misc

80. Eye colour: Green

81. Best friend’s name: I have a few. One starts with a C.

82. Favourite movie: The Fellowship of the Ring. Or 101 Dalmations.

83. Favourite actor: Maggie Smith

84. Favourite cartoon: Avatar the Last Airbender. I didn’t discover it until I was about 18, but I love it to death.

85. Religion: Ex-roman catholic Episcopalian

Tagging @nerdiekatie, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @dragon-feathers, and @fantasiavii

#ask me things #replies #tag games #y'all don't have to do it if you don't want to #anyone who wants to do it pretend I tagged you

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