Song of the Day: January 4

"You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" by Offspring

A/N: Teen!Westallen AU where Iris realizes she has feelings for Barry right about the time she hears he & Becky broke up. You're welcome for the fluff. Lol. ... Iris had never been so nervous in her life. She was only fifteen, and it was her best friend's locker she was walking to, so she knew she shouldn't be thinking in extremes. But she couldn't help it. She'd realized something in recent weeks, something she hadn't want to admit BEFORE Barry Allen got a girlfriend because the perfect bubble that was their friendship was too precious to burst. But now she recognized the feeling for what it was. Topped off with the obvious jealousy she felt every time this girl was around, STEALING her best friend away, looking smug and victorious in HER direction, as if she knew exactly what she felt before she did. Maybe she did. Maybe everybody did. Did her dad know? Did BARRY? She felt her face grow hot at the latter possibility. If Barry knew how she felt about him, and he STILL started dating Becky Cooper, was that him trying to gently let her know he wasn't interested in a way that wouldn't hurt her? Well, it DID hurt, but she couldn't tell him that. She wouldn't be the one to damage his first relationship before it barely got off the ground. But that was six months ago. And YESTERDAY, they had broken up. Iris hadn't known about it. He hadn't told her. That should've annoyed her, but she didn't know how she'd have reacted if he HAD told her, so she was actually glad she'd found out through run-of-the-mill high school gossip. It gave her time to think. And now, six hours later, she knew EXACTLY what she was going to do with this knowledge. She would approach him, tell him she knew, offer her condolences, and then... Two steps away from Barry Allen, Becky Cooper with her long blonde perfect hair whooshed past her and right into Barry's arms. He evaded a kiss, but Iris couldn't tell it was because he didn't want to kiss her or he was just too startled to response. "Iris," he said, pushing Becky off him a safe distance away, but not repeating the action when she draped her arms around his neck from behind and set her chin on his shoulder. "Hey, Iris," Becky said, the false sweetness to her voice making Iris just barely restrain a glare and a disgusted cringe. She forced a smile instead, like she always did. "What's up?" Barry asked, drawing her attention back to him. "I, uh...heard some people talking about you today, and I thought-" She shook her head, ignoring the heat of Becky's piercing stare on her left cheek. "Nevermind. It was obviously false information. I'll see you at home." She started to move past him, annoyed by herself for believing the rumors and at Becky for smiling the way she was now. But Barry went after her and grabbed her arm, making her halt. Reluctantly, Iris turned back around. She couldn't decide if she was relieved or not that Becky was no longer clinging to him and was actually a safe distance away. "What did you hear about me?" He asked, brows furrowed. "Something bad?" She hesitated, her tongue thick in her mouth, then said, "No. nothing bad. And anyone who just saw what I did will know what's been going around was nothing but a rumor. I should've known you wouldn't keep something this big from me anyway." "What did you think I kept from you?" His brows furrowed further. Her lips parted, but no sound emerged. And then, completely uninvited and unwanted, Becky broke into their conversation again, wrapping her arms around Barry's waist from behind. "I think she's talking about last night, babe." It took Barry a minute, but finally the light bulb turned on. Beet red, he looked back at Iris. "THAT's the rumor going around? That Becky & I broke up?" "I take it you didn't," Iris said, he tone of her voice flat, even as she tried to not make it be. Barry shrugged, awkwardly because Becky was hanging over him. "We sorta did, I guess." "But we made up this morning," Becky interjected. "Didn't we, Bear?" She kissed his cheek. Iris could barely contain herself. Everything inside her wanted to viciously scratch her nails all over Becky's perfect face. Bear was HER nickname for Barry. And her dad's of course. But no other girl should get that privilege. "I...should go," she said, because she really needed to get out of there. She couldn't stand being there another minute. "I'll see you at home?" He offered up, clearly confused and frustrated because he could tell she was sad but didn't know why and didn't know how to fix it. "Yep," she chirped and then turned away. "Bye, Iris!" Becky said in the sing-song voice that Iris despised. The blonde probably knew it too. She could not BELIEVE she'd figured out she had a crush on her best friend, and had actually thought maybe him breaking up with his girlfriend meant he could be interested in her. How incredibly awkward. How humiliating. Iris wanted to cover her face with a pillow and hide herself under her blanket and burrow away into her closet until high school ended and Barry went away to college, and then when he would come back, she'd be completely and totally over him. But that was still a few years away. A few years felt like an eternity. She sighed dramatically when she got outside and then sat on the steps outside the school, telling herself not to cry, especially when students were bursting out of the building and could easily see her. Not two minutes later, Becky Cooper was stomping off ahead of her, crossing the street. She looked angry and annoyed and distraught, and she clearly hadn't noticed her or she likely would've said something scathing and rude. Distracted by the sight of the fleeing girl, Iris hardly noticed the person who sat down beside her until he bumped his shoulder with hers. She nearly jumped as she turned to look at who it was. "Barry," she gasped. "What are you-" She looked back across the street, but couldn't spot Becky anywhere. Then she saw her way into the distance stalking purposefully from one block to the next. Iris looked back at Barry. "I don't understand." "We broke up," he said. She blinked. "Again." Her lips parted. "Again?" "Mhmm." He nodded. "I actually thought we were still broken up until she lunge at me right before you got to me at my locker." Iris said nothing, still trying to process. "I know I should have told you, but it was really late last night, and she was just talking crazy over text and suddenly broke up with me." Iris remained silent, continually at a loss. "I was going to tell you today, but I had to get to school early for science club, and chess club had a practice session during lunch, and we don't have any classes together this semester, so..." "You're really broken up?" She asked, needing clarification, but kind of hating how desperate she sounded. He nodded. "Yep." "But why?" Her brows furrowed. "It seemed like she wanted to get back together. And you..." she gulped. "You like her." "Nah," he said. "I don't think so." Her jaw dropped. "Then why were you dating her?" "She was the first girl to ask me out," he said. "It seemed like a pretty dumb idea to turn her down. That's what I thought at the time at least." "Well, she's pretty," Iris said, then wondered why. "And popular." She scolded herself again. He shrugged. "Just not my type, I guess." She raised her eyebrows dubiously. "You don't like pretty, popular girls?" "I don't like Becky Cooper. Not when she looks down on my best friend like she's dirt and accuses me of cheating on her with you." Iris's face felt like fire. She swallowed hard. "She did that?" She asked, her voice almost a squeak. He nodded. "Said I'm in love with you and just won't admit it," he said too quickly, avoiding her gaze. "And that you just feel the same way, and I was blind if I didn't see it." She swallowed hard and waited till she found her voice again. "I see why you broke up with her." She waited a few beats and then took the plunge. "Was she right?" She asked, tentatively meeting his eyes. Barry looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and Iris regretted asking the question, but she didn't know how to take it back without making it a big deal or stumbling over her words. "I..." he finally managed. "Well..." he cleared his throat. "I can really only answer part of that, Iris. And...I don't know if you want me to." Her face fell and she turned away. "Oh." Barry began to panic. He couldn't figure out what she was thinking, and he wondered if he should've dared to hope at all after breaking up with Becky purely because she'd laid out proof that Iris wanted to be with him. "Can you answer your part?" He asked quickly and heard her breath catch in her throat. She didn't respond. "Or...what were you going to tell me at my locker?" Iris turned to face him, debating. He was surprised to see a shimmer of tears in her eyes. "Iris?" She licked her lips, glanced down at his lips for one brief moment, and he prayed to God he hadn't imagined it. "I..." she tried, then failed to produce any more words. She took his face in her hands and met his eyes. It was something she did every so often, but this time was different. Clearly nervous, she started a shaky descent towards his lips. Then before she lost her nerve, Iris pressed her lips to his and closed her eyes. It was her first kiss, so she didn't know what to expect, but his lips didn't move, not until she counted to three in her head. Then she felt his lips press back against hers, and her eyes opened wide. She pulled away, dropped her hands from his face and stared straight at him. He mirrored her shocked, confused, wary expression. "Can we forget that happened?" She asked on a whisper, mortified because of how very NOT romantic this felt. Barry tried very hard not to squeak. "I really don't want to," he admitted bluntly, instantly igniting the butterflies in Iris's stomach. "Then...I guess Becky was right," she said tremulously. "She was?" He asked, gawking, but smiling a little too. "Well..." Iris's gaze flirted away from his shyly. She gulped. "At least about me." The space of three seconds, as long as their first kiss has been, felt like an eternity, but it was enough to drive Barry into action. He reached out and cradled her face in his hands, turning her and leaning down before she could decide to look at him. He kissed her as she had him, but then he angled his head to kiss her differently, sliding his lips against hers, opening them and gently prodding her to do the same. Iris was hesitant, but eventually followed his lead. She turned towards him more and clutched at his shoulders and waist. When he slipped his tongue inside her mouth, she felt a zip all the way down her spine. She pulled back, startled by the sensation, eyes wide. "Was that too-" he stuttered, but she wouldn't let him finish. "Where did you learn to kiss like that?" She demanded, breathless. Then a thought occurred to her. "Did you and-" "No!" He said, wide-eyed in honest denial. "She - we never - " "I'm your first?" Her eyes lit up, her face glowing. His heart threatened to explode. "Aren't I yours?" He asked sheepishly. "Yeah." She grinned. Then pulled him close and kissed him again. She was smiling so wide though it was hard to kiss him properly. "So how did you know how to kiss me?" She pressed, and he knew he couldn't get by without telling her. "I watched videos," he admitted. Iris pulled back, scandalized but only mildly so. "Barry Allen, you watched-" "TUTORIALS, Iris. Not porn. GOD." She giggled and pulled him close again. She stopped smiling long enough to kiss him properly. She got lost in it. She moaned and felt the shiver rippling through him when she did. Felt it again along with an intoxicatingly groan from him when she flicked her own tongue against his. When she finally pulled away, they were both breathless. "How long have you liked me, Barry?" She demanded. I LOVE you, he was thinking, but it was probably too soon to tell her that. "A long time," he said instead, and she returned the confession with a sappy grin. "You?" He ventured, needing to know. "Not sure," she said honestly. "I just realized it recently, but I probably have for a while." He was starry-eyed, giddy. He took her hand in his and threaded their fingers together. Then he stood up and she came with him. "Want to go to the park?" He asked. "They just finished the new swing set, so I won't break my legs when I try to pump my feet." Her smile spread and she nodded once. "Sure, Bear. Let's do it." He guided her down the steps, then, not bringing a backpack home that day, he crouched almost to the ground and waited. Iris recognized the invitation and couldn't suppress her giggle. She bit her bottom lip, smiling, and then promptly situated herself on Barry's back, holding tightly around his shoulders as he slowly stood up. Barry grabbed her calves in his hands, holding her to him as he started the trek towards the park. It gave Iris shivers, the feel of his hands on her bare skin. She kissed the side of his neck in return and then nuzzled into him, smiling happily. Unseen to her, Barry was grinning like a fool, his lips spread so wide his cheeks hurt, but he didn't care. Only in his wildest dreams had he believed Iris would feel the same way. Half a block from the park, Barry started to run. He could only run straight in short spurts, and it was just enough to keep Iris from being too jostled about. He set her down when they reached the grass and reached for her hands which she granted him willingly. She reached up on her tip toes and he craned his neck down to meet her lips. "This is going to be such a problem living in the same house," he murmured after one sweet, sensuous kissed. She groaned, because she'd been trying not to think about that very thing. "What a mood killer, Barry," she complained. His eyes widened in panic, so she assuaged his worried with a quick peck on his parted lips. She intertwined their fingers together and dragged him further into the park. "Come push me on the swings, Barry. We'll worry about the rest later." And just like that his mood shifted instantly from panic and worry to the overflowing joy he'd felt before. He didn't say anything for a while, but he smiled like a kid on Christmas and she giggled as if she'd had a full glass of champagne. He pushed her on the swing and then got on one himself. They kissed a few more times and then they lay on the grass, hand-in-hand, gazing up at the puffy clouds partly hiding the sun. "This is a great first date, Barry," she said a while later. He grinned to himself, still in disbelief that this was happening. Then shamelessly he admitted the simple truth that she had likely forgotten. "It's where we first met."

Once In A Lifetime Chapter 91 Exposed

Melissa's POV

I was home with Jennifer when James walked in and he looked angry.  He was going to camp for the hearing impaired.  I quickly walked over and asked as I signed, "What's wrong?"

He didn't say anything and Seth walked in behind him.  He had picked him up so I looked at him for clarification.  "What is going on?"  I asked him.

Seth sighed.  "Apparently, some of kids were picking on him."

I looked at my son and signed as I asked, "Why?"

"Cause I am different from them.  I can hear, just can't talk.  It's not fair.  I am different at school and camp and I am different at home.  I don't fit in anywhere.  Why can't I be like everyone else?  I want to be like everyone else."  He sighed frantically.

I quickly said as I signed, "No, you don't.  You are you for a reason.  I love who you are, James.  You don't need to be like anyone else.  You are James MacFarlane, extraordinary boy.  You are just like your father in everyway, even look just like him.  Only difference, you can't talk.  But you made due."

He then signed, "Why am I this way?  Why can I hear but can't talk?  I don't understand."

We never told him about the accident but now he was asking questions.  I knew it was time to tell him but no clue how.  I looked at Seth for help and he gently touched James' shoulder.  Seth said as he signed, "Let's go sit down and I will explain it all to you."

We moved to the living room and sat down.  Seth turned to James and said as he signed, "When you were a baby, you were in the car with your mom and Kj.  A big truck hit the car and rolled it.  Kj was okay and mommy was hurt quite a bit.  But you, you got it worse as it hit on your side and you were so little.  Mommy and I got very scared but then you got better.  We were happy about that, but mommy quickly realized you didn't make noise.  You cooed and made baby noises, then after the accident you stopped.  The doctors looked at you and they found a part of your brain not working properly.  Doctors told us your brain couldn't process it the same way anymore.  He explained you could still hear and understand us, just that you wouldn't be able to talk.  So we learned sign language and taught you.  The first thing you learned was more.  Mommy was so excited about you signing your first word.  She was over the moon.  You maybe different, but we still get the same treatment as your brothers and sister.  Don't forget that.  You fit in perfectly with this family.  We are all a weird bunch."

He smiled at this.  "We are, aren't we."  He signed back.

I smiled at him and said as we signed, "That we are but I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"Neither would I."  He signed with a smile.  Then his smile faded and he signed, "What if the other kids keep making fun of me?"

I looked at Seth as I didn't know what to say.  He smiled at James and said as he signed, "Tell them that you are just as weird as the rest of your family.  Then tell them you have three big brothers who will beat them up if they don't quit."

He laughed at this.  I smiled as I was glad my son felt better.  Seth always knew how to make him smile.  "Okay, dad."  He signed.

"Alright, go find your brothers and tell them the plan."  Seth said as he signed.

"Okay."  He signed, then ran off.

I turned to Seth and asked as I smiled, "Really great advice, Seth."

"Hell I would have done it if I had big brothers like he did."  He said to me.

"Did you get picked on in school?"  I asked.

He shook his head.  "Not really.  I mean, we all had a couple people be mean to us in high school.  But it wasn't like I was terrorized."

"Oh."  I only said.  The truth was, no one was mean to me.  I was popular and well, I wasn't a bitch either in high school.  But I didn't want Seth to know that.  Then I asked, "What should we do about James?"

"It'll pass, love.  It's harmless.  If it gets worse, we will intervene.  Let's see how he handles it first."  He said to me.

"Okay."  I nodded.  "I just worry.  I never dealt with this.  The other boys never had this problem."

"Cause the other boys aren't different.  At least in the eyes of society.  James is different all around from what he likes to his disability.  He is a special boy and that is different.  People fear different."  He explained.

I sighed.  "He is special but that is a good thing.  He is so different from his brothers and that worries me at times."

"Don't love.  He is a strong willed individual.  Always have been."  He said, trying to calm my worries.

I moved closer to him and gave him a small kiss.  I said to him, "I bet he got that from you too."

He smiled.  "I like to think he got that from both of us."

I just smiled as I liked the way he thought.  But I couldn’t help but to worry about my son.

The ceremony was a week away, I was finishing up a few touches on it.  I was actually excited about this.  I knew Seth would love it.  I even picked out a dress for the day.  It wasn't a wedding dress as it wasn't really our wedding but still was beautiful.  I was trying so hard to get this together.  I needed it to be perfect.  I was sitting in at the counter as I was trying to finish up with making a few calls to make sure everything was set.  I was so busy with making phone calls that I didn't realize a text had came in.  After some time, I noticed it.  It was from Cindy.  'Is it true?'  

She sent it an hour earlier.  I texted her back, 'Is what true?'

She sent a screenshot of a tabloid headline reading Seth MacFarlane Tries to Commit Suicide.  I quickly wrote her back.  'Where did you find this?'

She replied, 'Have you been in a cave all day?  It's everywhere.'

I wrote her back, ' I have been on the phone all day trying to put the finishing touches on the ceremony.  I just can't believe this.'

She wrote back, 'You didn't answer me, is it true?'

Outside of our family, we didn't tell anyone what happened with Seth.  It wasn't something we wanted out.  But now the world knew.  I wrote her, 'Yes, it happened during our separation.  He went off the deep end when he was served the paperwork.  He regrets doing it but he was in a very bad place then.'

Then she wrote back, 'Why didn't you tell me?'

I quickly texted her, 'We didn't want anyone to know.  It was such a difficult time.  We just wanted to keep this in the family.  But now everyone knows.  I need to check on Seth.  He will be tore up about this, I know.'

I quickly called Seth.  After a few rings, it went to voicemail.  I was worried.  Then I got a texted from him.  'In a meeting, babe.  I have been here all day.  I will call you when I get a chance.'

I quickly wrote back, 'I take it you haven't seen.'

I got a quick response.  'Seen what?'

I went back to Cindy's text and copied the screenshot.  I went back to Seth's and sent it to him.  Then I wrote, 'I have no clue how this happened, Seth.  Cindy just texted me asking if it was true.'

He didn't write back for a while.  I got worried again.  I began to fidget in my seat.  Finally, my phone rang and it was Seth.  I quickly picked up.  "Don't do that to me."

"I'm sorry.  I didn't expect to be in that meeting all day."  He said to me.  "How long has this been out?"

"I don't know.  I just found out myself.  I was busy finishing up with everything with the ceremony.  I was making phone calls all day.  I haven't had the tv on or been looking at my phone except to make calls."  I told him.  Then I asked him, "Do people at work know?"

"I don't know.  I haven't left the conference room.  I waited till everyone left and called you."  He told me.

"You have to face the music, Seth.  I know it is scary.  But you need to."  I told him.

He breathed, "I know."

"Go, baby.  I am here for you afterwards.  You know that."  I told him.

"I know.  I love you, Lissa."  He said through the phone.

I smiled at this.  "I love you too, Seth."

"Okay, I'm going.  I need to get this over with."  He said to me.

"Okay, baby.  I will see you later.  Remember, I'm just a phone call away."  I told him.

He said, softly, "I know, love."

"Alright, baby.  I'll let you go."  I said to him.

"Okay, bye."  He breathed.

I hung up.  I just hoped it wouldn't get too bad for us.

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Seth's POV

I got off the phone with Lissa and finally moved out of the room.  As I headed to my office, I swear all eyes were on me.  I didn't know if I was just seeing that in my head or if it was really happening.  I finally got to my office and was relieved.  I then opened the door to find Seth, Alex, Mila, Mike and Rachael in there.  Rachael looked to be upset.  I walked in and closed the door.  I asked, "What is going on?"

Rachael quickly said, "I'm so sorry, Seth.  They kept at it till I told them."

I knew what she told them but I tried to play dumb.  "Tell them what?"

"Don't act like you don't know."  Alex said, sternly.  "What the hell were you thinking, Seth?  You tried to kill yourself.  Why?"

I felt like a deer in headlights and then shifted uncomfortable.  "Look, Lissa leaving me did a number on me.  I love her, more then anything.  I wasn't thinking straight when I got the divorce paperwork.  I just became unhinged."

"Wait, she wanted a divorce?"  Mila asked.  I nodded.  "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Cause the same night I got them, is when I did what I did.  Then by the time I was back at work, we were back together.  I didn't feel the need to tell anyone about that."  I told them.

"Do we have to worry that something like this happens again?"  Seth asked.

I looked at him and shook my head.  "I'm okay.  Seeing a therapist and getting the help I need."

Alex stood up and said, "Good.  Look, we love you, Seth.  All of us.  And you have your kids.  It's not fair to the people who love you for you to go that way.  It would break all of our hearts."

"I know."  I breathed.  "I realized that now what that would do to everyone.  Especially to my children.  Kj made it loud and clear of that.  He lost his shit and punched me.  Then he broke down in tears.  I saw from my oldest what I did and the damaged it caused just by my attempt."  A tear streamed down my fast.  "I didn't tell any of you cause I was so ashamed of what I did.  I didn't want you to look at me differently."

Mila stood up and walked over to me.  She hugged me and I hugged her back.  We pulled away and she said with a small smile, "We couldn't look at you differently, Seth.  Just now more aware that you may always smile but you are just like the rest of us, you sometimes fight your own demons.  Just makes you human."

"Thanks, Mila."  I said to her.  I appreciated the kind words but I still felt horrible.

The rest of the day was unbearable.  Everyone in the office would stare at me and whisper.  I knew of what.  What made it worse is when I left the building to go home, paparazzi was standing around asking me questions about it.  I ignored them and quickly got to my car.  I left and drove home quickly.  I got home and just wanted to be with my family at this point.  I was not happy that it got out what I tried to do.  Especially to my friends.  I walked in and found Lissa in the kitchen.  She looked at me and I knew she was trying to see how today went.  I didn't hid it.  I watched as her eyes fell as she knew the day was hell.  I looked away as I teared up.  She walked over to me and moved an hand to the back of my neck.  She pulled me to her and held me tightly.  I cried.  I felt like shit and now my close friends knew as I tried to hid it from them.  But now they knew.  The look on their faces when they knew the truth played over and over in my head.  I didn't want them to think an differently of me.  I calmed and pulled away from Lissa.  She kept her hand on the back of my neck and the other on my waist.  She searched my eyes and asked, "Are you okay now?"

I just shook my head.  "I just hate this got out.  The world knows and what is worse is that my friends know."  

"What did they say?"  I asked.

"They were actually really sweet and concerned.  But their faces, Lissa, that is what said it all."  I told her.  "The way they looked at me.  I just couldn't take it.  I hate that I did this.  I would do anything to take it back.  I keep hurting people by what I did."  

"Seth, you were not yourself and not okay.  If anyone should be regretful, it's me.  And I am."  She finally revealed to me.

"For what?"  I asked her.

She moved away from me and walked to the other side of the kitchen.  She turned her back to me and said, "I pushed you that far cause I wouldn't listen to you.  You were telling the truth and I wouldn't listen.  I went to the lawyer and went forward with the divorce paperwork.  And the thing was, something in me kept screaming for me to stop.  But I didn't.  I just kept going cause I felt like I had to do it.  I pushed you that far.  I caused this."

I quickly walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her.  I held her tightly and I looked at her to see she was crying now.  "No, baby, you were hurting too.  You saw that and it hurt you.  You didn't know.  You didn't want to hear me out cause you were afraid, not of the truth but that it did happen the way you thought and I would try to weasel my way back in.  I understand that.  Don't blame yourself for my stupidity. Please, don't."

She turned to me in my arms and looked at me as tears fell from her eyes.  "I can't help it, Seth.  I have felt this way since I found out the truth.  Even before.  I pushed you to do that.  I hurt you so bad that you felt the only way out was to end it all.  I almost lost you for good and if I would have, I would only have myself to blame.  You don't understand what that feels like.  Knowing the person you love the most, you also caused them the most pain."

"Stop blaming yourself.  You didn't force me to take those pills.  I did that on my own.  I was the stupid one.  You only believed it cause I was an ass and kissed another woman once before.  I know if I never did that, you would have heard me out this time around.  I don't blame you for my actions, baby.  I was the idiot.  I was the one who did what I did."  I cupped her cheek.  "I did this to myself and I hurt everyone around me in the process.  You had no doing.  So, please, Lissa, stop blaming yourself for this.  Just don't."

She looked at me with her watery eyes.  She said softly, "I love you so much, Seth."

I gave her a soft smile.  "I love you too, Lissa.  I will always love you."

She moved in and gently took my lips.  I knew, it was going to be a long week.  But I had Lissa by my side.  Made it more bearable for that simple fact.

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