#(but while I was definitely attracted to that guy’s charima? it was still that Punit Square/List of Attributes) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

void-tiger · 2 years

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Kids can know or show signs that they Might Actually Be Queer, even without “le gASP!! The gays are corrupting our cHILDREN aND wOMEN!!!”

I was quite literally 4 years old (maybe even younger) when I first said “but wouldn’t girls with girls and boys with boys make more sense??” At my cousin’s wedding. After internalizing it for Quite Some Time in Kiddo’s Sense Of Time. Without ever having been “exposed” to Le Gaes.

…I also thought that marriage was just legally binding yourself to your best friend, having a formal stuffy ceremony in itchy Too Nice For Playing clothes, then going to a party that wasn’t even fun and lasted for HOURS with really shitty food. (If you don’t know the horrors of Vegetarian Catering for these things, count yourself fortunate.)

Turns out I’m ace and some flavor of demiromantic, in addition to sapphic.

#tiger’s musings #queer childhood #lgbtqia+#…and honestly? jury’s out on ‘do I LIKE men? or was I just fawning Heteronormativity and wanting a Best GuyFriend ‘cause anxiety’#time’ll tell. as in. still gotta get stable&independent enough to Move Out then Come Out #then start actively trying to find friends locally + start going on dates #but like. my ‘ohhh that was prolly a crush…’ has happened FAR more with women #whereas ‘yeah I think that was Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria or Heteronormativity or Wanting A HS Event Date’#is…honestly where my ‘is this a crush??’ on men ends up sorting #I have had maybe one (1) genuine crush on a guy. ever.#…and in hindsight I think I got lucky that he never showed any interest in me #(but while I was definitely attracted to that guy’s charima? it was still that Punit Square/List of Attributes)#(sooooo…maybe NOT so genuine? idk. 🤣)

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