#(and then there’ll be a prequel to it set four years ago) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tisthenightofthewitch · 5 years

Text

How Ghost became the face of the new generation of heavy metal

Pressure. Controversy. An army of haters. It seems like nothing can throw Ghost off-course. How Ghost's mastermind Tobias Forge took on the world… and won

Paris, tell me… did that make your asses wobble?” It sure as hell isn’t “Scream for me, Hammersmith!” but somehow, inexplicably, this flirty, moustached, makeup-splattered dandy wiggling about in a tux and leather gloves has 9,000 people in the palm of his hand like he’s Bruce Dickinson in ’86. Hammer is at hallmark gig venue Le Zenith in France’s capital city, witnessing Ghost deliver their latest sermon.

The City Of Love might be frozen solid on this chilly February evening, but the unstoppable Swedes are heating things up in style – fire, steam cannons, confetti, a dazzling light show and enough costume changes to make Lady Gaga dizzy are just some of the ingredients reaffirming their status as one of metal’s premier attractions in 2019.

It all makes a two-hour set fly by in no time, guided masterfully by that aforementioned, ’tache-donning Daddy. Cardinal Copia, Ghost’s Master Of Ceremonies, raised a few confused eyebrows when he was unveiled this time last year, breaking an eight-year streak of Papa Emerituses who’d fronted Ghost since its inception. But he’s since become the beating heart of a band that have continued to evolve, grow and adapt beyond all expectations.

He’s also a world away from the blue-eyed, slick-black-haired, quiet and thoughtful man we spent time with two hours earlier, dressed in jeans and a hoodie, decidedly sans-moustache and doing much less wiggling.

When Hammer last spoke to Tobias Forge, he’d recently (some may say forcefully) been outed as Ghost’s resident mastermind – its very own Wizard Of Oz, working behind the scenes and behind the mask to help orchestrate one of the most unlikely success stories of recent times.

We are creating a dynasty.

Soon after our last conversation, Ghost dropped their latest album, Prequelle – an instant classic stacked with playful menace and 80s-tinged pop-rock bangers – and have pretty much been on the road ever since.

“Hey, if you wanna rock, you gotta rock,” shrugs Tobias of his relentless schedule. “It takes a lot of effort, a lot of cogwheels spinning and turning, to make all this work.” He’s not kidding.

A weary roadie will later inform us that it takes almost four hours to pack up Ghost’s monstrous set each night – a towering, multi-platformed, chapel-esque set-up that recalls the kind of backdrops Maiden have made home for decades. “But, once you’ve got that whole machine rolling, you don’t wanna stop,” Tobias adds. “At some point, we will have to wind down a bit, but we’re not there yet.

If you wanna be comparative, look at all the big bands; even though they made it in a different time, statistically it takes five records, about 10 years, to go from nothing to something to something great.”

And that, right there, sums up Tobias Forge. The reason Ghost have been such a triumph isn’t because of great songs, a good live show and a savvy gimmick – metal history is littered with bands that never made it despite boasting all those things.

The difference is that Tobias is the man with the plan. He may not be the tortured artiste or swaggering hellraiser that rock’n’roll loves to stick on a pedestal, but he’s a leader: a brand ambassador with a calculating mind and a shrewd business acumen who knows exactly what needs to be done to immortalise Ghost’s legacy.

He’s playing the game, and he’s winning. And if you look hard enough, the seeds for it all were being sown right at the very start.

“You can find all the details in my record collection,” he says with a knowing smirk – and he’s not wrong. Before Cardinal Copia, there were Papa Emeritus I, II and III – a line of frontmen that not only enabled Ghost to set up a deep-running narrative, but change up the formula and the image for every album cycle. Sound familiar? It should – it’s what rock’n’roll superstars have been doing for decades.

"I’ve always been a big fan of Kiss,” he continues. “Most Kiss fans can tell the era [of the band] by the photo, what they’re wearing. You can say, ‘That is ’75, that is ’76, it’s in the spring, it’s in the fall, it’s Rock And Roll Over, it’s Destroyer.’ So I figured that in order for this band to age, we need to create dynasties.

"And that way, there’ll also be nostalgia. Because I come from a heavy metal background, I know how important nostalgia is, and the attention span nowadays is so short, so you need to create it quickly. You need people to be able to say, ‘I was there when this part happened.’ That’s why it was always Papa Emeritus I, right from the start.”

It’s a meticulous level of forward-thinking that has come up trumps, but amazingly, you’d have been hard-pushed to find anyone who’d have backed Tobias to carve such a path 10 years ago.

Before 2010, it was with respected Swedish death metallers Repugnant that the Linköping native had had his most ‘success’, his love of rock’s theatrical side flirted with via a splash of corpsepaint and a drop of fake blood here and there.

A spate of EPs and splits and one well-received album, 2006’s Epitome Of Darkness, ensured a small part in heavy metal folklore was guaranteed, but it was what happened next that changed everything.

Channelling his love of catchy NWOBHM mainstays like Angel Witch and Demon, Tobias wrote what would become Stand By Him – an irrepressible schlock-rock anthem a world away from the guttural noise of Epitome…

He called up former Repugnant bandmate Gustaf Lindström to help record it, and more songs quickly followed in the same, earwormy vein – “I’ve always liked the NWOBHM bands that had melody and pop sensibility,” he says today.

But there was still something missing. The songs Tobias was now writing were following a formula that had been laid down since the 70s. It needed something different. Something fun. Something… metal.

Deciding that this new project should carry an image that’d bring it a world away from its influences – a band that, in Tobias’s words, should “sound like Angel Witch but look like Death SS,” he began doodling some ideas. One scribble stuck – the image of a Pope-like character, plastered in ghoulish corpsepaint. Papa Emeritus was born.

I was 29 years old. I wasn't going to get another chance at this.

“And as soon as it was confirmed that he’s gonna be a Pope… well, when a Pope dies, you have a new one!” adds Tobias with a laugh. Soon after Papa I came the idea for the Nameless Ghouls – masked, anonymous backing musicians that’d add to the band’s hokey mystique.

By 2009, the project had an image, some songs and a name: Ghost. But it’d be a little while before things started to move forwards, and Tobias’s grand plan would take shape.

Between 2008 and 2009, there were maybe 20 people who knew about Ghost,” says Tobias, who ended up fronting the band through default after unsuccessfully offering the gig to a variety of names from around the metal scene.

“The guys in In Solitude, the guys in Tribulation, the guys in Watain… they were the only people who knew about it! But I knew at that point that it was gonna have the ability to turn heads, because it made everyone [excited].

"Repugnant were popular, but nothing I had ever done had had such an immediate impact on people. They were all like, ‘Ghost! I wanna hear more!’ I knew that there was gonna be some sort of buzz.”

A “buzz” is an understatement. When Ghost’s first songs were finally made public – on MySpace, no less – things began to move very, very quickly. Metal messageboards were set ablaze with excitement and offers came flooding in.

“I was quickly in touch with Will from Rise Above,” notes Tobias now, and he would eventually accept a deal with Lee Dorrian’s much-respected label. An album, Opus Eponymous, was recorded, and the metal underground waited with baited breath for its new favourite band to deliver on the hype. And yet, even at this stage, Tobias wasn’t totally certain just how far things would go.

“Originally, I thought that Ghost was gonna become more like a theatre/installation sort of band, like Sunn O))),” he reveals. “We would play Roadburn, arthouse concerts, five dates at the London Scala, that sort of thing.”

So a kind of ‘event’ band. You’d show up to play special shows and residencies.

“Exactly,” he confirms. “I never thought we would be the band that would play metal festivals, play in daylight, play with other bands.”

But then more offers started steaming in. Suddenly Ghost – with not so much as a gig to their name – were being asked to go on tours, play festivals and do interviews. For Tobias, there was a straight decision to be made: keep this project as a ‘cult attraction’, stay within the underground and become everyone’s favourite ‘Oh, you wouldn’t have heard of them’ reference point, or take a leap into the unknown and reach for greatness.

For a man that had spent years keeping a lid on his grand ambitions, now was the time to sink or swim. And, really, there was only ever going to be one option.

“I wasn’t gonna get another chance,” he states flatly. “I was already 29 years old at the time, so it was like, ‘This is the train and it’s leaving now.’ You can choose to stay, and sit there and fucking wonder all your life, or you can get on.”

Tobias got on the train, and it hasn’t stopped rolling. Opus Eponymous was released on October 18, 2010, and within three years intimate club shows became packed-out academy shows in front of 5,000 people, and soon after that the band could be seen supporting everyone from Metallica to Foo Fighters to Iron Maiden.

They won a Grammy for Cirice (and have been nominated for two more); they’ve been championed by everyone from James Hetfield to Phil Anselmo; their merch has become obscenely big business, t-shirts selling out in no time at gigs (including the show Hammer attends tonight) and the Ghost IP being plastered across everything from baubles to butt plugs to custom plague masks.

Tobias has manoeuvred that quick sketch of a spooky lad in a Pope hat into a machine Gene Simmons would be proud of, all underpinned by a storyline that has fans salivating as they wait for the next chapter to be revealed.

And if there was any doubt that this is still very much Tobias’s baby, you need only look at the casualty list littered with names that have crossed him. There are the disgruntled ex-bandmates who attempted to bring a lawsuit against Tobias in 2017 after claiming they were denied their rightful share of the Ghost pot.

The lawsuit was thrown out in October last year, his former colleagues ordered to pay Tobias’s legal costs (around $145,000, if you’re counting). There was also the Sister Imperator incident, where the elderly Ghost matriarch and star of their ongoing vignette series had to be swiftly recast after a mysterious falling out.

“All of a sudden, you’ve an actress who decides to start making fucking trouble and makes herself unemployable,” Tobias says. “Well, then you have to do what they do in any soap opera… a car accident.” That’s not allegorical, by the way.

Tobias literally had a new vignette made revealing that the Sister was in a car wreck and needed reconstructive surgery. The new actress was brought in so smoothly that many Ghost fans assumed it was the same person with a different haircut. How’s that for efficient?

“That’s how you solve things,” the frontman shrugs. “But that was not planned at first, because we’d been working with the same actress for three years, and then all of a sudden, things fell apart. But, you have to roll with the punch, you have to bite your finger, and come up with another plan… car accident. Boom.”

That Tobias won’t be moved on what actually happened between he and the original actress is understandable – after all, this is a man that spent years holding his cards close to his chest.

That this all managed to play out under the noses of one of modern metal’s most fanatical fanbases, however, is pretty damn impressive. Basically: don’t cross the boss.

While Tobias’s masterplan may seem iron-clad, he will at least admit that there is room for fine-tweaking along the way. He recently revealed that Cardinal Copia’s character could stick around for another five years and multiple albums – a first for Ghost, who have thus far changed up their protagonist for every record.

“That’s just because of the potential of him being a ‘Pope’ or a Papa Emeritus IV,” he explains, before adding: “If he becomes a Papa Emeritus.”

So there could be multiple endings planned for Cardi C?

“Absolutely. All of this is an organic movement, and that is one of the biggest paradoxes for me, as a control freak. To be part of this living world, I can’t control everything. I can control a lot, and I can influence a lot, but I can’t control it [all]. And coming to terms with those things and accepting that is a big struggle for me.”

He’ll also admit that being the mastermind behind a machine as big and ever-evolving as Ghost has had a serious impact on his personal life. Being a part of a successful band is one thing, but having that success rest almost entirely on your shoulders is something altogether different.

“It’s very hard to do this without any casualties,” he muses. “It takes a toll on your surroundings, your crew, your parents, your children… I have two kids, 10 years old. They were toddlers when this whole thing started. My family’s had to endure a lot for this to happen.”

He’s also had to face up to the reality that being in a big rock band means you’re going to attract the attention of

a fair few haters – and Ghost have an army of them. Check out Hammer’s Facebook page to see the dizzying levels of vitriol that a post about Ghost will attract. Recurring issues seem to be accusations of selling out, anger at Tobias’s treatment of his former bandmates and, most commonly, whether Ghost belong in our world at all (and to be fair, you’d be hard-pushed to describe Prequelle as a true heavy metal record by any standards).

“I’ve noticed it,” says Tobias. “I noticed it in the beginning. I think that it’s the same old discussion. ‘Is Ghost a metal band?’ ‘Are we a clone of Mercyful Fate?’ It’s the same old thing. But now these people are saying the new record is not as good because it’s not as much of a clone of Mercyful Fate! OK…”

Why do you think Ghost wind people up so much?

“Because we are ever-present, all the time. We are being shoved into people’s faces, and we’re rubbing it in. They wouldn’t talk about us had we not been successful. Does it worry me? Not really. If they’re talking shit about me, that’s one thing, especially if it’s someone that I know. That can hurt me deeply. When you’re at the beginning of your career, especially nowadays, you spend a lot of time surveying what’s going on, because you need to feed off anything that’s happening to the band. So I noticed there was a lot of ‘controversy’, a lot of mixed opinions. It’s surprising they don’t understand that the more they talk about us, the more traffic there is about our band. More than we would have had had they not spoken!”

Once again, it’s there: the unnerving feeling that Tobias is metal’s modern-day puppet master, pulling the strings above a performance that we all continue to play our parts in. Whether it’s the media, his fans, his critics or the few who have attempted to foil him, everything only ever seems to play into his hands, and the Ghost train rolls on.

“A few months ago, based on metadata alone, a website made a list

of the biggest bands in metal,” Tobias reveals as a PR informs us our time together is up. “We were number four! Right up there. And that’s thanks to these people that keep on fucking hating. So I have nothing but great feelings for them.”

He makes to leave before adding: “That’s how all these bands made their careers. You think Lars would shy away every time people would talk shit about Metallica? Fuck. That.”

Hated, adored but never ignored. This summer, Ghost will play in front of stadium crowds with Metallica once again – something Tobias calls a “PR exercise” – before more global dates and, eventually, a new album that’ll reveal the next chapter of his grand plan. You can imagine that people will have plenty to say about it. And you can imagine that Tobias Forge is going to relish every second.

ALL RIGHTS OWNED BY METAL HAMMER

#The Band Ghost #Ghost Band #Cardinal Copia #Nameless Ghouls #Tobias Forge

148 notes · View notes

moonlight-at-dawn · 7 years

Text

Noctluna Week Day #4 - Luna Meets the Chocobros

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Title: Introductions At Last NOCTLUNA WEEK DAY #4 Rating: T Genre: Romance Summary: The Oracle’s family arrives in Insomnia ahead of the wedding of Lady Lunafreya and Prince Noctis, and Noct introduces his friends to his fiancee at long last. Author’s Note: I’M SORRY THIS ONE IS A DAY LATE. Prequel to Day 5.

Noctis stood outside, pulling his tight collar from his neck to let in what little air might slip in to cool him down. The city was hot, with the sun reflecting off buildings and asphalt, and it beat down on him as he waited for their guests. He wanted to be in the shade, or at least leaning back, but he had to stay standing tall with so many eyes on him. Soon enough those eyes would be turned to the Oracle's family, but until they arrived, he was the one in the public view, and he was keenly aware of the cameras all around.

"You've a handkerchief in your pocket for a reason, Noct," Ignis reminded him quietly. "I suggest you dab the sweat from your brow. I believe the crowd is getting louder, so they must see the procession."

"Right," Noctis mumbled, doing as was suggested. He just hoped no one mistook it for nerves. He wasn't nervous in the slightest, even with the wedding coming up. He was just excited, excited to see his best friend, to wed her, to begin the chapter where their lives at last intersected so completely.

It was just damn hot out.

It was lucky for him, then, that it turned out Ignis was right. The procession rolled up, and Noctis approached them with Ignis at his back. Ravus was the first to exit, and he came over with a friendly smile, extending his hand. Noctis grinned up at him and they skipped the handshake to grip forearms with an easy brotherhood. "Welcome to Insomnia, Lord Ravus," Noctis spoke, staying formal for the cameras that were on them.

"Thank you, Prince Noctis. It's been too long since we've last met."

"It has. Not to derail things, but I think we could stand to do the greetings at the Citadel later, out of the sun."

"I couldn't agree more. And the arrangement was...?"

"Ignis will take over driving the rest of the way to the Citadel," he motioned to his advisor, who gave a respectful bow. "And Lady Lunafreya was to join me in my vehicle for a side trip before we joined you there."

Ravus nodded with a smile, glad to confirm that things were as they seemed. Turning to Ignis, he waved his hand to the procession idling in the cordoned off street. "Then, please, Ignis...?"

"Scientia. I apologize for the lack of a proper introduction."

"It's fine," he grinned, and the three men walked over to the vehicle. Ravus sat back inside while Ignis switched with the driver to send the man back to the rest of the delegation.

Noctis gave short greetings to Lady Sylva, and held his hand out to help his fiancee stand up. Hand in hand, arms outstretched, keeping a formal distance from each other as though he were leading her to the dance floor, they crossed back to the Star of Lucis, and Noctis helped her to take her seat in the car. He was glad to be away from all the eyes, although the traffic from the delegation made the drive to his apartment take more time, with the Citadel route closed off to all but those with royal permission.

"I'm excited to see your place," Luna giggled when they were finally relaxed and truly on the road.

"Not that it'll look like much after tomorrow, when I start packing it up. But I wanted to keep it as it was for you to see at least once. I can't believe in the last four years, you've never made it to Lucis..."

She pouted at him. "You know that wasn't my choice. I was terribly ill when my mother made that trip."

"And the rest of the time?" he laughed, reaching over to shyly touch her hand. "I know. Busy lives..."

"Yes. But now, this will be the home that I come back to. To you."

He couldn't help but to smile at the warmth and excitement in her voice, and he nodded emphatically, "Yes! I know there'll still be a lot of times we'll be apart. But that we'll call the same place home... It still feels like a dream."

"I imagine it will continue to feel that way for a time yet. Not that I mind, living my dreams."

Chuckling at that, he flashed her a grin and turned into the parking garage for his apartment. He gave her his arm and led her into the building, waving at his friend Prompto who sat in the lobby waiting. He had permission from security to go on up, but with no unit key, it made no sense to stand in the hallway outside the Prince's rooms, making the others on that floor uncomfortable no doubt. The building was private for a reason, after all.

"We'll do introductions in the room," Noct said, waving his friend to join them in walking to the elevator. Prompto shyly chased after, shifting his weight from side to side as he nervously wanted to introduce himself to Luna and to run away at the same time.

Entering the apartment, Noctis helped Luna with her shoes before he took his own off and set both pairs aside. The three walked further in, and Noctis finally addressed the buzzing anticipation from Prompto. "Luna, this is Prompto Argentum, my friend since high school. Prompto, this is Lady Lunafreya, the daughter of the Oracle and my fiancee." The introductions really didn't have to be quite so thorough, as they each knew who the other was though it was their first time meeting in person.

"It's so nice to meet you at last, Prompto. Thank you for everything you've given to Noctis over the years. I hope you and I can be as good of friends as well in the years to come."

"Y-Yes!" Prompto held his arms close to his sides, as if he were trying to stand at a military attention, though everything about him was too stiff and too nervous. "I-It's an honor, it's really great to meet you, Lady Lunafreya...! I'm so glad, I, I hope I can be a good friend to you, too!"

"What do you guys mean, 'hope'?" Noctis shook his head, not much for ambivalence. "I know you will, both of you stop the whole formal dance, huh? Just relax."

"Th-That's easy for you to say, you're a prince...," Prompto mumbled, puffing his cheeks out with indignation.

"Luna, do you mind if Prompto is less formal with you?"

"Not at all!"

"Prompto, you mind if Luna stops the diplomatic 'say everything 5 different careful ways' talk and just straight shoots?"

"N-No...? What...?"

"Then that's that. Just be yourselves, geez. This is supposed to be a meeting of friends. Formality is for formal events only." Noctis waved them off, knowing exactly why it wasn't just that easy, but if he acted as though it should be, the two of them would settle all the fast. He left them standing awkwardly by the couch and around to the fridge. "You guys thirsty?"

"Yes, something to drink would be wonderful..."

"Me too, me too!"

Nodding, Noctis pulled out two bottles of soda, twisting the caps off and setting one on the far end of the island for Prompto to grab. Pouring out some iced honeyed tea that Ignis had prepared for Luna ahead of time at Noctis' request, he held her hand as she lowered herself to sit on the couch before he handed over the glass.

"Ignis and Gladio're coming, right?" Prompto asked, sitting across from them, too nervous to sit on the same couch as them.

"Yeah. Ignis is bringing Lady Sylva and Ravus to the Citadel, and Gladio and Clarus are directing the rest of the delegation. They'll come here once that's done."

"It may take some time, though," Luna added, smiling comfortingly to Prompto. "So while we wait... Why don't you two show me some of the video games you play? I've never had the chance to see them, and Noctis talks so frequently about them."

Grinning widely, Noctis picked up the remote and turned the television on, tossing a game controller to Prompto before he leaned back with his own. "Alright! Why don't we work on the next level, Prompto?"

"But what if we suck at it?"

"Like hell!" Noct laughed, his competitive side ramping up and drawing laughter from Luna.

Getting caught up in the gameplay helped to relax the atmosphere, and after the two had finished a level in their game, they switched to games that Luna could join in with, and a few hours later saw Gladio and Ignis coming in with beer, wine, and food for celebrating the meeting and upcoming nuptials in their own way.

Noctis skipped over all the formal greetings, climbing over the back of the couch and giving his controller to Gladio for a turn while he peeked through the bags the two had brought in with them. "I didn't know what kind of wine Lady Lunafreya preferred," Ignis said as Noct read the notes on a bottle of pinot noir. "So I picked out a variety. I certainly don't intend for us to drink all of that in one night."

"I do!" Gladio called out laughing, before swearing as Prompto cut him off in the racing game they were playing.

"With wine, Luna and I have the same tastes, for the most part," Noct said, holding up the pinot and a riesling, "Hey, Luna, red or white?"

"The white has to chill," Ignis reminded him, taking the riesling away and bringing it over to the fridge.

"I guess I'll take red," she laughed.

"Guess so," Noct laughed.

The group settled in the living room, the game turned off in favor of some quiet music in the background. As the time had gone by playing games, the engaged couple had found themselves sitting closer and closer together, and now their sides were pressed completely together while Ignis sat on the far end of the same couch, Gladio and Prompto taking over the solitary seats.

"This is you guys' first time meeting Lady Lunafreya, too?" Prompto asked in surprise, looking around. He had thought for sure he would have been the only one who still needed to meet her.

"Yes. We've never accompanied Noctis on his trips to Tenebrae, and this is Lady Lunafreya's first time in Insomnia."

"Didn't you guys meet up at Lestallum a few years ago, though?"

"That was just me," Noct answered. "And Cor. He didn't want them around so he could see how well I was fighting on just my own merit."

"Although with how much Noctis speaks of you, Lady Lunafreya, it has felt as though we've known you for longer."

"I, I do not!"

"Aww, he's shy!" Prompto laughed.

Luna giggled, leaning closer to his side with a smile, "Is that really a bad thing?"

"...'s just embarrassing," he mumbled, hoping she would be the only one to hear him.

"I don't see why it would be. We wed next week, after all. It warms my heart to know you think so often of me, that you've spoken so much."

"Uhm... y-yeah... Well, uh..."

"Geez, can't you dig up some princely charm for your fiancee?" Gladio teased with a grin.

"This isn't a spectator sport!"

#ffxv #noctlunaweek #noctluna #nokuruna #lunoct #ffxv fanfiction #misha writes

23 notes · View notes

spynotebook · 7 years

Link

Image: CW.

Greeting, my Global Express Guaranteed packages of fun. Sorry “Postal Apocalypse” is a day late, but this time I did an extra extra-long version to make up for it—you get a free 50 percent more of my shenanigans! This week: The future of Batfleck! The future of Ghostbusters! The future of the Star Wars prequels! And I’m finally back to answering questions about where superheroes go to the bathroom.

Broken Arrowverse

Mike W.:

Greetings Postman! I had originally started watching the CW’s Arrow a few years ago when the first season debuted on Netflix, and continued with the second season when it was released (I prefer most shows in binge-watching form).

Friends who had watched the Arrow and Flash when they originally aired suggested that I start alternating episodes, because there were several crossover episodes throughout the season. I think that was good advice because some pieces of those crossovers may not have made sense taken out of the context of where both shows were at.

Now alternating between episodes of two shows wasn’t terrible. Occasionally I would forget to switch over and just hit “play next” and not realize my mistake until something regarding Flash happened on Arrow that hadn’t been mentioned yet in Flash, or vice versa. These spoilers, or even information that made no sense out of context bugged me every time!

The next set of seasons were released on Netflix, only this time the CW threw the Legends of Tomorrow in the mix as well! Alternating between three series at the same time seemed like a lot of work so I kept putting it off... only to have Supergirl get tossed into the crossover blender the season after that!

Is it worth watching all four shows concurrently for the crossover episodes? Bouncing back and forth seems like a lot of work, and I’m not sure if the order is consistent or if some shows missed episodes here and there , and if the ties between crossovers are important to each show then it seems like it might be frustrating if they were out of order. What do you suggest?

Honestly, as long as you account for the crossovers—and not even all of those—it can be reasonably uncomplicated for you to catch up. Sure, there’ll be a few references or asides to things that have happened in the other shows, but they’re few and far between, and never that important. Look, if they bug you they bug you, but trying to watch every episode of four TV series in the order they aired sounds like it would be infinitely more irritating. So I suggest trying this instead:

Arrow seasons one and two

Arrow season three, episodes 1-7

Flash season one, episodes 1-8 (episode 8 begins the first Arrow crossover)

Arrow season three, episodes 8-23 (episode 8 concludes it)

Flash season one, episodes 9-23

Arrow season four, episodes 1-7

Flash season two, episodes 1-8

Arrow season four, episodes 8-23 (same deal as Arrow s3 and Flash s1)

Flash season two, episodes 9-23

Legends of Tomorrow season one

Supergirl season one

Here’s where it gets a bit wackier, thanks to the “Invasion” crossover, and the Flash/Supergirl musical episode.

Arrow season five, episodes 1-7

Flash season three, episodes 1-7

Legends of Tomorrow season two, episode 1-6

Supergirl season two, episodes 1-8 (ep. 8 verrrrrry technically starts “Invasion”)

Flash season three, episode 8 (“Invasion” part two)

Arrow season five, episode 8 (“Invasion” part three)

Legends of Tomorrow season two, episode 7 (“Invasion” part four)

Arrow season five, episodes 9-23

Flash season three, episodes 8-16

Supergirl season two, episodes 8-16

Flash season three, episodes 17-23 (ep. 17 is the Flash/Supergirl musical)

Supergirl season two, episodes 17-22 (there’s no ep. 23)

Legends of Tomorrow season two, episodes 8-17

Since Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow are stand-alone after “Invasion,” it really doesn’t matter when you watch the rest of their seasons.

And yes, I recognize there’s technically a Flash/Supergirl crossover in seasons two and one, respectively, but it’s actually more of a cameo. Basically, the Flash shows up for an entire Supergirl episode; in the corresponding Flash episode, the Flash disappears for a couple of minutes while running around the multiverse; when he gets back to Earth-One he says, “Boy, that was weird!” or something. You 100 percent do not need to rearrange your viewing order to accommodate it, or anything else, in my opinion.

GIF

Let the Hate Flow Through You

Andrew M.:

Dear Mr. Postman, I have a habit of forming complicated non-binary opinions after reading a book or watching a movie. Instead of just loving or hating something and then either gushing or complaining for the next hour, I more often declare frankly whether I enjoyed it or not, and then want to talk about everything both positive and negative. This has led to me having a reputation among my friends as someone who “hates everything.” Anytime I see a movie, if I don’t totally love it, I’m attacked.

And if it sounds like I’m just a buzzkill, I’m not certain that’s the case, either. I’m often very positive, I just like full discussions where we can talk about what did and didn’t work. Sure, I can be negative (I didn’t enjoy Rogue One and actually fell asleep during it, while Flash throws me into a weekly blind rage), but not everything’s going to win you over.

This has even ruined some of my nerd interests. Despite being a huge fan, I fell completely out of Doctor Who and stopped watching years ago because any fans I met would get offended if the discussion got even a little gray. And it’s no fun to be in a fandom and not talk to anyone.

Am I too harsh on my media? Should I lie and pretend I love everything? Should I stop discussion altogether?

Andrew, this is a question close to my heart, as I too look at things with a critical eye and am frequently accused of being a hater (as are my coworkers, as is io9 as a whole). To be fair, I do hate many things, and I have often hated things professionally; however, anyone who reads io9 regularly and has object permanence should be able to see that all of us here love a lot more than we hate.

Sponsored

But once someone is convinced you’re a hater, it’s hard to shake the preconception. Say you and your friends watch Wonder Woman, and you find it flawless. Just perfect in every way. Your friends may be surprised at your opinion, but in a few weeks when you all watch Transformers: The Last Knight and point out it is senseless garbage, they’ll immediately call you a full-time hater again.

There’s not much you can do about this, unfortunately. Some people don’t understand thinking critically about art is really about understanding it fully, and gaining a deeper appreciation of it overall. They also don’t understand that even if you feel something has flaws, that doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t like it. The two aren’t mutually exclusive! (And since my opinions are broadcast to a wide audience, some of those people just want to have their own opinions validated, and feel attacked if I disagree, as if I’m calling them dumb. Then they attack me to make themselves feel better. I’m assuming your friends aren’t this bad.)

You just need to find friends who actually enjoy discussing the movie’s merits and flaws with you, and are secure enough that they can disagree with you without freaking out. They exist somewhere. At the very least, I feel totally confident in telling you that most io9 commenters on James Whitbrook’s Doctor Who coverage will agree with you that modern Doctor Who is not wholly without fault.

Image: Disney.

The Phantom Menace Pain

John H.:

Dear Mr Postman, how and when will Disney get around to fixing the Prequels? From a certain point of view, this has to happen. Those three movies are the dogs of the film franchise and they need to make a return on Disney’s investment. There’s no way The Mouse just lets them hang out, sucking in substantially less money than the other six.

First is the how – do they re-edit and make minimal reshoots? Hire one of the fan editors to use their ideas? Maybe fuse I and II together? Or maybe they declare the first three non-canon and start over?

Second is the when – wait until after George Lucas is one with the force? Until they run out of ideas for stand-alone movies? Wait a decade to build up nostalgia and demand?

Screwing around with Star Wars films is a time-honored tradition that Lucas himself started, so there’s really no reason not to. What’s your take?

Alas, you’ve begun with a false premise. While the prequels may make nominally less than the original trilogy—although nine times out of 10 you’re forced to buy all six Lucas movies at once, so it’s not actually much less—what they make is almost totally profit. Sure, there’s manufacturing costs and residuals to the cast and crew, but that’s built into the cost. Disney doesn’t have to touch a thing, and the prequels will continue to make a decent profit for them.

And there’s no reason to do anything to them when those resources would be better spent on churning out new Star Wars movies, each of which will probably make around a billion dollars. That’s a significantly better use of time and talent, with much higher returns. Basically, the prequels are profitable enough to keep, but not profitable enough to bother messing around with.

I also have a feeling that Lucas included a few legally-binding demands when he sold Star Wars to Disney, one of which could be “You can’t make any alterations to my Star Wars films,” which would be understandable if somewhat ironic. I also worry that he demanded Disney never release the non-Special Editions of the original trilogy, in revenge for all of us bitching so much about the prequels. I can’t know this for sure, but I am 100 percent certain that if Lucas had demanded these conditions before he sold them the franchise, Disney would have absolutely agreed to them.

Intentional Cowl

David O.:

Following on from the question about casting an old Batman at the start of a DC cinematic universe, do you think if the whole shebang went on long enough that we’d see a new non-Bruce Wayne Batman on the big screen?

Supposing he just gets too old or has one too many “Sad Affleck” moments to want to stick around, do you think WB would give us Damien, Terry, or even Dick under the cowl? Or do you think they’d sooner recast the part?

Affleck is totally gonna bolt long before WB is ready to reboot the DCEU. Since they’re trying to establish a continuity—and because trying to find someone to replace Affleck a la Kilmer and Clooney is a losing proposition—I’m betting that Affleck passes the cowl. Now, whether there’s actually a full Batman movie where this happens, or whether it happens in the first five minutes of the movie, or it happens offscreen before the film because Affleck is just so sick of this superhero bullshit depends on so many factors—Affleck, his contract, how fast WB manages to actually make these film—that it’s impossible to predict.

As for who he passes the cowl to, I’m calling it now: Damian Wayne. First of all, WB is planning on making a Nightwing movie; assuming this actually happens, they’ll want both Batman and Nightwing movie franchises. Meanwhile, Damian’s been Robin in the comics since 2009, and has been regularly showing up in DC’s animated movies and the very popular Injustice video games. He’s even in the recent animated Judas Contract movie, despite that being an adaptation of a Teen Titans tale from the ‘80s.

Basically, Damian has taken over the role of Robin in pop culture, and is more associated with the character than Dick Grayson or Jason Todd or Tim Drake at this point, and the DC live-action movies are much more interested in modern takes on these characters than any kind of legacy anyway. Also, tell me that “Batman has a kid he doesn’t know about who is raised by a league of assassins” isn’t the most DCEU thing you can think of. Ya can’t.

Image: Satellite of Love/Netflix.

Movie Sign of the Times

James M.:

With the return of MST3K to Netflix it would seem that a lot of opportunities could arise for the series that were not possible before. Netflix has the rights to a host of movies and I would enjoy seeing Jonah and the bots’ take on Michael Bay’s TMNT or Prometheus.

Is this likely or should the Satellite of Love crew focus on older, more obscure pieces?

As an uber-fan, I want—nay, need—MST3K to stick to older, cheesy movies. To me, it’s intrinsic to the show’s DNA, and watching the ‘Bots riff a big budget modern movie, no matter how terrible, would feel wrong. I know full well that Rifftrax does this for many big movies, including some genuine hits, and I love when they do it, and I love them, but I don’t think something like Prometheus would fit with MST3K’s low-fi, garage-built sensibilities.

Besides, the reason Rifftrax can do this is because they’re literally offering their own commentary track for the films. There’s absolutely no way Paramount or any major studio would consider licensing out their big films to MST3K for mocking.

A film would have to be so old and so terrible that giving it to Jonah and the ‘Bots would provide the maximum revenue stream, and it would still have to outweigh the shame of making a movie so bad it deserves to be put in the same league as Manos: The Hands of Fate, Monster A-Go-Go, the Coleman Francis trilogie, and the rest.

All that said, as time marches on, the revenue streams and hubris regarding these films will dwindle. Maybe in 2040, Crow and Tom Servo will be making fun of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, because it’ll feel as old and terrible as Starcrash seems now. But I imagine—and hope—that they won’t be running out of pre-1990 targets anytime soon.

Image: Sony.

Giving Up the Ghostbuster

Joe C.:

I think we can all agree that Ghostbusters 2016 was not a success. It did not make its money back, eliminating a sequel with this cast and crew. However, it wasn’t bad enough to kill the franchise. So I ask, where does Ghostbusters go from here?

Do they do another reboot with new characters again? A reboot with the original characters but recast? An animated movie is in the works, but word has been mum on that.

In my world of imaginary optimal outcomes, I would love to see a new GB cartoon. You get the original GBs back, add some new ones, make it take place after the video game (or GB2 for simplicity) and add adult humor. Some of the funniest moments in the original movie are the jokes that go over kids’ heads. Unfortunately an adult oriented GB cartoon won’t sell action figures, so that option’s probably off the table.

Right now this franchise is like a bunch of tangled Christmas lights; nobody knows how to untangle it, so fuck, why not just go out and buy a new set?

Well, that “new set of Christmas lights” is essentially what the movie reboot tried to be, and it didn’t work out. Rights holders Ivan Reitman and Dan Aykroyd may be eager to try again, but studios like Sony won’t be. You can hope for any incarnation of the team you want, but unless Bill Murray agrees to star—which he absolutely won’t, as the last 30 years have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt—studios aren’t going to take a chance on a new movie for years, probably more than a decade.

A cartoon is more likely, but not by much. Cartoon Network and Disney XD are way more interested in making shows based on their own properties (e.g. Adventure Time and that Gumball show, and DuckTales and Marvel’s stuff respectively) because if they own it then they get the profits if it’s popular enough to sell DVDs and merchandise. Toys aren’t as much of a factor as they used to be, because basically only the biggest, most popular franchises sell action figures nowadays—which is the same reason why Pokémon and Transformers are cartoons owned by other companies that CN and Disney XD are willing to air.

But if Reitman and Aykroyd license out Ghostbusters as a kid’s cartoon, that’s going to kill the chance of a new movie, because studios will feel it can only be a cartoon. I know this isn’t logical, but I’m not pretending it is; studios want PG-13 movies, so Hollywood execs will instantly decide if Ghostbusters is right for kids’ cartoons, it can’t possibly right to make a $150 million movie about (and the last movie didn’t help).

Reitman and Aykroyd know this, and the movie is recent enough that I’m sure they still have hope of getting a new live-action film. Even if a network wanted it, I doubt they’d be willing to do a Ghostbusters cartoon for the foreseeable future.

Image: Lucasfilm.

I Only Meant to Stay a While

Spessartine:

Dear Postman of the Future,

Although national anthems probably died in the societal collapse that you miraculously survived, I’m sure you vaguely remember some kind of patriotic ditty associated with sporting events and the like.

Here’s my question: suppose that Nerdom/Geekdom decided to declare itself an official something-or-other, and as part of the package, we had to choose one anthem for all us, to be played before every con, cruise, and filk concert for the rest of this century.

What would that anthem be? Is it a classical piece? Is it an instrumental mash-up of themes? Is it “I Ship It” ? What, in your notably nerdy opinion, could possible do the job?

Well, if nerd-dom declared its anthem it would either Luke’s theme from Star Wars, or “The Imperial March.” Just like when I called Star Wars the most quoted movie of all time, it also has the most instantly iconic and beloved music, and these are the two songs that the largest majority of nerds in the world would actually agree upon as a song to represent them as an entity. There’s no other music that comes close to be as universally accepted among our kind.

However, when I’m finally elected King of Nerds, I will be declaring “Twilight” by E.L.O. as the national nerd anthem, because it’s nerdy as hell, it’s catchy as shit, and has this amazing scifi music video:

That’s not an official music video, as you might suspect; it was the animated intro for the opening ceremony of a Japanese scifi n’ anime convention called Daicon IV, held back in 1983, which totally didn’t properly license the music but I assume were forgiven because it’s so amazing. Fun fact: The guys who made this went on to form Studio Gainax, including Evangelion creator/director Hideaki Anno.

Image: DC Comics.

Flash in the Bed Pan

Jason W.:

Dear postman,

You seem like a man who knows a thing or two about fictional characters’ bathroom habits. So does Iron Man pee in his suit or what? Similar question: Does Batman use the rooftops of Gotham as his own personal outhouse?

I am dead certain that Iron Man’s suit takes care of all his waste, and drops it surreptitiously when he flies around so no one notices. I am merely very confident Batman’s suit also accommodates his number ones and number twos, probably—and more than a little disgustingly—containing them until he gets back to the Batcave. However, it’s worth remembering that Bruce almost never eats or drinks, and probably takes some ultra-efficient vitamin of his own devising that gives him the energy he needs with producing little to no waste, so such a thing would very rarely need to be utilized.

If you doubt me, please remember that Kevin Smith did once retcon Batman’s origin—in continuity at the time, amazingly—that Batman pissed his pants at one point during his Year One. If the legendarily prepared Batman was too young to have thought about this potential problem then, he certainly addressed it afterward.

Guys! Thanks for all the great questions! You keep emailing the postman, I’ll keep trying to answer more, So send your questions, concerns, arguments that need settling, pleas for advice, and whatever else the heck you want to [email protected]!

#IFTTT #Feedly

0 notes