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diordeer · 3 months

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౨ৎ FALSE GOD

“we might just get away with it, the altar is my hips, even if it's a false god. we'd still worship this love” - taylor swift (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, where they both play in the false god music video

description: kind of obsessed with the band ‘sorry’ rn which is crazy bc its totally not my kind of music

requested by: anon!

Liked by gracieabrams, blakelively and others

taylorswift dont miss false god, coming out tonight 12AM EST

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user1 I already love it… the colour scheme!!

user2 ok but WHO is in it because i know for a fact that isn’t taylor swifts hair

blakelively cant wait!! 🩷

user3 WE’D STILL WORSHIP THIS LOVEE

user4 i dont think i will be able to handle this

user5 whooos hands are thessee 👀

↳ user6 ikrr 🤭

gracieabrams ahhh this is so excitinggg!!

user7 i can already feel the vision

comments:

user1 CHARLIE AND YN CHARLIE AND YN CHARLIE AND YN

↳ user2 THEY ARE SO PERFECT

user3 taylor NEVER misses!

user4 this is changing lives

↳ user2 not only is it changing lives, its bringing people back from the dead!!

user5 the SECOND i saw charlie i dropped to my KNEES

↳ user4 on my knees for Charlie AND yn, literally a sexuality nightmare

↳ user5 SERIOUSLY

user6 how do i make this mv my personality

↳ user7 my exact thoughts

user8 yn looks GORGEOUS in this literally ethereal

↳ user7 she makes me wonder things about myself i never thought i would

user9 worshipping this mv

Liked by taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell and others

yn.ln go watch false god… RN!

tagged iamcharliebushnell, taylorswift

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user1 if u havent already rewatched it atleast thirteen times what are you doing with ur life

↳ yn.ln i vouch to this

user2 taylor is so cute!

user3 u were MAJESTIC in this

iamcharliebushnell had so much fun with uu

↳ yn.ln ur the besssttt!!! Cant wait to see u again soon!!!

user5 charlie and yn have such good on screen chemistry i actually cant get over it

↳ user3 BEGGING they r like that irl together

↳ user5 IMAGINE IF THEY WERE DATING

dior.n.goodjohn i feel like there should be context to the last pic

↳ yn.ln it was a live reaction of me finding out i had to make out with charlie 🤢🤢

↳ iamcharliebushnell oh because it was SOO horrible?

↳ user4 WHAT DO U MEAN CHARLIE

↳ yn.ln WOW WOW WOW NOT NECESSARY

↳ user6 i see a little smile in that photo 🤨

↳ user7 u cant say theres nothing going on between them

Liked by yn.ln, dior.n.goodjohn and others

iamcharliebushnell had the best time working on this music video with everyone!!

tagged yn.ln, taylorswift

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user1 him in the last photo… LAWD HAVE MERCCYYY

↳ user5 OMG IKRRR

↳ yn.ln its so the shirt

↳ user1 u agree then? 🤨🤨

↳ iamcharliebushnell guess i should wear it more then

walker.scobell you were great!

↳ iamcharliebushnell this seems very passive aggressive

user2 can we talk ab the outfits in this tho?! Like so so gorgeous

↳ user7 PREACH! THE DRESSES?! THE SHIRTS?!

user3 working with “everyone”… we all know hes talking about working with yn

↳ yn.ln im just so amazing and loveable🤷‍♀️

user4 tell me theres nothing going on between them… I DARE

dior.n.goodjohn i cant believe YOU get to be in a taylor swift music video

↳ iamcharliebushnell i cant tell if this is a compliment or not

↳ yn.ln just take it as a compliment babe, dont question it 🥰

↳ user6 BABE?!

taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities

#charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #smau #social media au #aesthetic #charlie bushnell #in the know #x reader #false god #taylor swift

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seungstarss · 2 years

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HI SEI

omfg i just read the latest updates of recall and?? ⁉️⁉️🤨 GIRL WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG W U????? NAURRRR COS MY HEART IS ACTUALLY BREAKING RN THIS IS SO NOT OK 😭😭 I JUST WANT YNWON TO BE HAPPY AND IK I WAS EXCITED ABT FINDING OUT THE REST OF THE PLOT BUT LIKE??? U LITERALLY SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET BC I TOTALLY DIDNT EXPECT ANY OF THAT AT ALL ARE U KIDDING????? OH EM JAYYYYY RECALL IS SO FUCKING GOOD ITS LITERALLY AMAZING BUT MY HEAD IS IN MY HANDS AND IM SHAKING IM QUIVERING IM ON MY KNEES BEGGING FOR A HAPPY ENDING BUT KNOWING U……….

ON A SRS NOTE THO I FUCKING L O V E RECALL!!! SEI how the FUCK did u come up w this like are u joking??? UR BRAIN??? >>>> UGH i’m in love w the storyline like it’s actually so so interesting and i’m just in luv w how nuanced ur characters are :< they all have their backstories and motivations and reasoning behind their decision making which makes it so so immersive to read??? IVE HONESTLY ENJOYED READING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF UR CHARACTERS SO FAR??? all of yn’s friends are so so supportive and cute and bring sm energy to an otherwise angsty asf fic ,, jungwons friends r also legit so cute in their own way and can we talk abt the antagonists too like ????? YURI ???? REI????? THE WAY WE HAVENT EVEN FINISHED THE STORY YET BC NOW IM WONDERING WHAT PART YURI HAD IN THE ACCIDENT TOO???? ICB UVE ONLY REVEALED A PART OF WHAT HAPPENED (ALBEIT A BIG PART) AND THERE R STILL 5 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO??? MOMMY COME PICK ME UP IM FUCKING SCARED IM ACTUALLY QUAKING RN 😭😭 BUT HOLY CRAP SEI I RLYL RLLY RLLY RLLY CANT PRAISE U ENOUGH BC BFFIE U ARE DOING THE BESTEST JOB EVER??? I LOGE THE PLOT THE CHARACTERS THE TEXTS THE MEMES THE PACE OF THE PLOT AND THE WAY U GIVE LITTLE CLUES WITHOUT REVEALING TOO MUCH??? UGHHH URE ACTUALLY TOO GOOD AT THIS 😭💗💗

YNWON ARE SO FUCKING TRAGIC. like the fact they secretly liked each other and were super duper close and did everything w each other was CUTE enough, only for yn to find out jungwons secret :( tbf, i’m sure his fake reputation was already in the making before they met (unless i’m dumb and got the timeline mixed up), so it’s not like he could’ve just randomly told her right :((( i mean ofc it would’ve been better to come clean ab it but i get it :((( it makes me so sad to think yn had been wiped of her memories and jungwon was left to toss up between wanting her to remember their best times and not wanting her to hate him all over again :<< THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD 😭😭 i’m actually so sad rn nobody talk to me,,,,, IT ACTYALLY BREAKS MY HEART TO THINK THAT YNWON CAN ONLY GET TGT IF SHE CAN SEE HIS GOOD AND HIS BAD SIDES AND ACCEPT HIM ENTIRELY FOR WHO HE IS??? I WONDER IF SHE CAN SEE PAST THIS ☹️ BUT YN MY LOVE ITS OK IF U DONT…. men aint shit anyway ig 🚶‍♀️

anyway recall 2/10; super interesting love the characters the plot is flawless but?? author is kinda whack and loves to hurt people ?? so yuhhh i’m gna subtract 8 points :>

OML MY FAV MAI!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL OH EM GEE🥺 I SAW YOUR REBLOGS AND I HAD SM FUN REAFING THEM STAHQGQJQ YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME SM SUPPORT THAT I DONT DESERVE 😭😭😭 BUT TY FOR ALWAYS GIVING ME THE CONFIDENCE TO KEEP WRITING AAAA

YES THE MYSTERY OF YN'S ACCIDENT IS FINALLY SOLVED 😭 IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG AND YEAH I BET YN IS FEELING CONFLICTED AS HELL RN LIKE 😭 I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE SOMEONE YOU CARED FOR SM JUST LYING TO YOU :"(((( BUT YESS JUNGWON DID HAVE THIS WHOLE IMAGE THING SET UP ALREADY WHEN HE MET YN :((( JW WAS DEF GOONG THROUGH HELL FLAMES WHEN HE WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT WITH THE MEMORIES :( THAT'S WHY BOY WANTED TO STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS HE COULD,,,, BUT GOSH IT MUST'VE HURT LIKE SHIT TO LOSE SOMEONE WHEN IT WASNT YOUR INTENTION TO BUT IT WAS UR FAULT 😭😭😭 BUT YES 5 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO!! SO LETS SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT 😘😘

MuahHQHAHAH HURTING PEOPLE WUTH MY STORIES IS MY FAV GENRE 🤩

#PLS ILYSM #mai ☆#maiverie asks ♡#mutuals ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ #— recall 𐀔

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tigerdrop · 4 years

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king u gonna elaborate on virgin benrey

listen i have kiryu “is 100% a virgin at the ripe old age of 37, and this is appealing to me instead of fucking hilarious″ kazuma disease and it has followed me here. also this kind of branches into a completely different kink at the end b/c i am diseased

so you know how i write "obviously fucks good and hard all the time" benrey. well........you know.......like..........what if......................he didnt. what if he was. what if he had never fucked before in his life and his incessant flirting finally works and hes like "i did not expect to get this far."

envision, if u will, the delightful awkwardness of virgin benrey + "has never had sex with a dude before" gordon

ive definitely brought up the possibilities of gordon going all science-brain on null benrey before but i think it works just as well on virgin benrey too. its a learning experience for both of them and if theres one thing gordons good at, its research. and gordon probably gets way too up in his own head about making sure he does this shit right and spends a lot of sleepless nights googling "how to have sex with dudes" and, you know, researching,

if benreys not the one fucking babying him thru his first gay experiences he is probably going to bungle it so fucking badly and i think it would be really funny

alternatively please consider gordon being so fucking neurotic about benrey never having done this shit before that he avoids the subject as hard as possible, thinking that hes gonna dick it up hardcore, but the whole time benreys just thinking "bro i havent had my dick touched in [however long hes been alive]. come on". the tension

furiously making out with him behind a fucking crate in black mesa and then realizing this is Going Places and gordons voice breaks as he says, way too loud, "I GOTTA UHHH GO RELOAD MY SMG. RIGHT NOW"

you think gordon is touch starved ? no. Hell with this

Im just tsying theres no evidence hes been touched at all by another human being in his life before this. if hes video game in real he benrey noclip out of being touched

what if he like, chooses not to noclip/not feel....ON that time gordon catches him. just cuz hes curious, a gay impulse. or maybe hes so surprised (and gay) he forgets to avoid it

and oh, to be in gordon freeman's gentle grasp. makes him into an unholy annoyance of awkward gayness for the rest of the series

YEAS.......also he has definitely thought hard about sucking gordons dick but doesnt actually have any idea how he would go about it. hes just heard its cool

giddy thinking about the scenario where its actually benrey whos terrible at sucking dick b/c hes never done it before and gordon who actually does suck dick like a champ

i know that this is literally the plot of the very first serious nsfw fic in this fandom but still. virgin beney. benrey getting sucked off for the first time in his entire life and shaking like a fucking leaf......

Power trip of Gordon realizing this guy whose been hitting on him the whole time has no idea what to actually do

Gordon Freeman Gives Benrey A Prostate Exam

its a joke but its not a joke. virgin benrey being vaguely aware that being fucked by gordon freeman would be cool, in theory, but not fully conceptualizing of how you actually get a dick in your ass until gordons like "what?? no, dude, you cant just stick it in there" and gives him a demonstration and thats how benrey discovers he has a prostate

benrey like "idgi man this just feels weird. when do we get to theohhh my god what. what that" and gordons like "what, u mean this?" (curls his fingers again) mean smirk hours

i want him to make a squeaky little noise when gordon says that and curls his fingers again, and gordon's like "ha- knew he'd like it" and keeps kneading him a while; but oops, suddenly benrey's coming with an even squeakier noise

gordon's so surprised he just keeps going, hes like, not comprehending until benys whining at him to stop

a thought: benreys not good at "being human" and probably doesnt actually know whats supposed to happen when u nut so every time hes been jackin it he just does it until it starts to be Just A Little Too Much and then hes like "mission accomplished" and stops. imagine his fucking surprise when gordons jerking him off and he doesnt stop and hes like "wh ha hu what the fuck i already got off bro" and gordon just stares at him and the distinctive lack of cum on his hand and s like ".......did you? you sure about that one."

tl;dr benrey squirming and babbling and digging his fingers into gordons back as he begs him to keep going, he doesnt know whats gonna happen and hes feeling totally overwhelmed b/c gordons pushing him further than hes ever been pushed and he keeps inadvertently trying to wriggle away b/c its So Much but gordon, maybe, pins down his hips so he can get benrey off For Real.......

even better if its when gordons sucking him off for the first time so he can wrap his arms and hands around benreys thighs to keep them spread wide open and firmly in place

knees shaking and thighs jumping constantly

and benrey has no idea when its supposed to be over so he cant even warn gordon properly. he just keeps getting louder and louder.......

maybe even.......completely hunched over gordon......pushing him down on his dick with his hands in his hair.......

alternating between babbling "stop" and "dont stop" b/c hes stupid

eventually gordon gets so sick of benrey not being able to decide whether he wants to shove gordon onto his dick or yank him off that he just pulls off and says "look, man, do you trust me?" b/c he would really like to just get benrey to stop edging himself here

UNINTENTIONAL OVERSTIMULATION.......THE TEARS........HHHHHHH

and he eventually gets benrey to nod furiously at him that he trusts him and gordons just like, okay, im not gonna stop then. im gonna keep going. and.......he does

eyes glazed, hair sticking to him with sweat, hips all twitchy, dick all red, face also all red

sucking benrey dry until hes over sensitive.......

He started off spasming then he’s rocking into Gordon’s face by the time he’s wailing his name. Panting and gasping like he’s fucking DROWNING

gordon meanwhile almost nuts in his pants from the fuckin show that benreys puttin on for him and hes not even trying. hes just Like This. gordons got jerkoff material for the next month just thinking about the way benrey wails his name and clutches his hair tight

benreys like (slurred) 'u gonna jack off or sumn.......was it not hot'. gordon fighting with every cell of his body not to scream "WAS IT NOT HOT?"

trying to decide what would be hotter: gordon jacking off while hes on his knees with his head resting on benreys thigh or jerking off on benreys stomach and.....r.......rubbing it in

benrey watching gordon cum and feeling a whole new context for it cause now he knows how good it feels and gets turned on again faster-

thinking.......about.......th. next time. now that benreys figured it out. he gives it a try on his own time and hes so surprised that it works that he goes up to gordon like "yo. check this out. i figured out how to jack it" and gordon has the most unimpressed look on his face imaginable

"proud of you, buddy. am i good to go back to watching storage wars, or" "you wanna uhhh.....wanna see it maybe?" and that changes his entire tune

imagining benrey being so fucking bad at it still that he keeps doing the start-stop shit b/c its so intense and hes not used to it and the thing that actually gets him to finish is gordon, pants down to his knees and fisting his own dick like he might die tomorrow, leaning forward and telling him that hes got this, benreys gonna come for him, right? come for gordon?

gordon fucking telling him "dont stop" WRT jerking himself off and benrey just listening to him and pushing himself is ruining my fuckin mind

its a really good thought......i love how it plays into non-human benrey having to figure out human stuff........makes me crayz

probably keeps being sensitive for a long while too........ (mumbling very very quietly) and if hes so sensitive from never being touched before......maybe hes kind of........uhhh..................ticklish

new layers to the whole "oh my god its too much stop it" + "i actually dont want you to stop touching" thing .. . . .. . . . + gordon powertripping when he realizes whats going on with him and why he keeps jerking away and trying not to laugh when gordon touches him like on his stomach or his sides

benrey accidentally jerks too hard and knees gordon in the dick from how ticklish he feels just from like, hands on his sides or something

i was actually thinking about......like.......gordon laying on the ground and suffering (because why wouldnt i be thinking about gordon suffering) and deciding that enough is enough and offering to.......desensitize benrey. you know. for his own health

you know. uhhh. tying up his arms and legs, perhaps, and. you know. "do not noclip through these. i swear to god, benrey, if you kick me in the dick again"

i'm think about benrey begging gordon to stop, so he does, to check if this is a Forreal stop or a "hahah nooo~" stop, and benrey asks him through gasps to keep fucking tickling him (except he just says smth to the effect of ."gh.. ....keep doing it dude wuhdah hell...") and gordon gets an evil fucking grin and just feels on top of the world "yeah?? think you can handle it, huh???" and just destroys him. benrey thinks about gordon's horny manic face for weeks

neither of them had a thing for this before this point but the combination of feeling like hes being tickled and gordons hands on him for the first time making him mad horny gives benrey a brand new fucking fetish. gordons manic fucking face im so glad we are on the same wavelength about that

i truly hate my own posts. incurable. diseased

#asky #writin stuff #SOMETHING GOT COPIED AND PASTED WRONG SORRY

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ilygsd · 6 years

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ok so the question is if im gonna open nyself up to him and tell him i had like 25262 anxiety attacks these 2 last days or if i should just ignore it and pretend that im super cool and all is fine and what r u talking abt??? i wasnt freaked out at all? i was just chilling all day lmaooo

he will see through me wont he..... but if i dont tell him then maybe he thinks im getting better at u know holding stuff in i mean HE DOESNT CARE ANYWAYS IM OBVIOUSLY DOING IT FOR HIM

i am the list pathetic human being in this world. anyone wants to know for how long ive known this guy? HAHAHAHAHA BITCH IVE GROWN EMOTIOKALLY DEPENDANT ON GUYS I HAVENT EVEN MET that was wilde and i would rather not talk abt that fuck brain stfu sont bring up him

anYwAySs i feel better cus he replied

im just gonna pray i wont get emo and anxious when i get to him

i hate that he thinks everything i do is manipulative. he says he doesnt think i do it on purpose...... does that mean i actually AM manipulative? NO ITS JUST HOW IM FEELING I CANT STAND BEING AVABDONED AND OFC ILL DO ANYTHING I CAN ILL BEG ON MY KNEES OR SET THEM ON FIRE IF I HAVE TO i-is t-that..... m-m-manipulat-tive....

god i cant believe he basically said he cant be with me unless i learn to love myself BUTTT it has to be ”on my conditions” do that means i cant love myself to make him stay it means i’ll have to ACTUALLY try and love myself LMAOOO

and ghat will absolutely not happen and this ugly masternind will see through my lies (hes a bit too paranoid tho like he thinks im lying even when i tell the truth ugh) even if i pretend to love myself i mean i cant have these vreakdowns if i love myself right and i will most certainly have these breakdowns and then i absolutely CAN NOT LET HIM KNOWWW BUT I HAVE ZERO IMPULSE CONTROL SO HE WILL KNOW ABYWAYS

oh god he will leave me anyways

but you know what..... thats cool bc we’re gonna stop dating soon anyways

im obviously too unstable he thinks im too immature

also him and his weird ass goals, he even told me he wants to bleach his teeth bc ”im gonna be a poltician, all piliricsn has white shiny teeth” his teeth are already white?? wth

i hate when he does that it creeps the fuck out of me like when he showed up in a nice suit and im like oooh nice feeling fancy today ;)))) and hes like ”no im just making myself comfortable if im gonna be a serious and respect politicsn/psychologist i have to dress like one”

when he threatened to murder me TWICEEEE but then goes like ”i wouldnt actually murder you, that would ruin my future career” OH THANKS SO MUCH YOU EDGY BITCH

so yeah sooner or later he will dump me. also his expectations of sex...... also he literally dont seem to bond at all wheb having sex its like in and out and then maybe some cuddle if he’ nice

ok in exaggerating sex is actually nice with him at least last time but maybe im just thinkin that visnum attracted to him. its like the other way around for us. i told him LOVE is whats behind my sex. i said ofc sexual attraction too but i could probably find some ugly dude attractive if i LOVED them. not gj my ex though ghats sad bc i certainly do love them.... ugh anyways he was low key offended he was like ”if u think in ugly but just love me i’ll cut you” I WAS IFFENDED LIKE EXCUSE ME YOURE THE ONE WHO SEES OUR RELATIONSHIP AS A FUCKING WHORE CONTRACT and hes likes ”yeah”

and thats where i lost my shit :———)

BUT ITS COOL I NEED TO VE ALONE ABD IBDEPENDANT ANYWAYS JUST DONT GO BACK TO YOUR EX THAT WOULD BE SO SHOTTY OF ME I NEED TO SUFFER ALONE ABD GET THINGS DONE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ALSO NEED TO PRACTICE ABD HES SO GOOD AT PRACTICING REALTIONSHUPS IWTH BC HE DOEST CARE OR GET HURT LMAO only angry and i guess thats his way of ”getting hurt” ugh

i dont need him. hes still a dumb fkn centrist, making racist jokes right in front of my face sometimes he REALLY MADE AN ADOPTION-NO-ONE-LOVED-YOU JOKE IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE WHEN I OPENED UP AVOUT MY ADOPTION THE VERY ISSUE AND REASON I AM LIKE THIS

i actually cant believe he did ghat, i didnt even realise he did until he apologized and made sure ”it was just a stupid joke” and even then i didnt register it. idk he’s dumb as shit its so fkn weird how much i let him hurt my feelings bc if it was someone else i’d fuxk them in the asshole but im just here letting him fuck me over bc i blame it on is aspd bug actually its just an excuse bc..... bc...... bc..... i dont want him to leave OH FUCK IT REALLY IS LIKE THAT RIGHT I REALLY AL STUCK ON HIM GREAT

whatever you do dont fkn devalue him. omg omg u dont eant it to end like with your ex bff who made u depressed and suicidal and now u will live the rest of your life in INTENSE SHAMEEEE bc of how u treated her and reacted to her leaving you DONT ACT LIKE THAT WHEN HE LEAVES YOU DINT

i probably wont. i wouldnt dare to. i thought i could manipulate my ex bff by scaring and threatening her but i couldnt abd i KNOW i wont ve able to with him. i’ll probably just fall into self-hatered self pity and despair abd maybe secretely stalk his social media but i wouldnt dare to do anything

ugagahIbwlsbslsksvdjsnsksbs my bRaINnNn

#diary #jo

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