charlie letting bad and evil things possess her so the they keep their hands off of those she loves

Diary

I'm going to start using this blog as a diary for awhile. I need to keep practicing on my typing and, theres no where else to type it. I love being a parent, a mommy. of course there are always hardships raising a child. well, I think the only one ive had so far with my child is trying to get the poor thing to let her poop out. Shes so afraid to poop bc she thinks it will hurt, but of course holding it only makes it worse, shes so young and doesn't understand, I mean we’ve tried everything we can. Her diet is super strict just so we can keep it soft, even if some has to sit in her poor little body. It will almost be a year in a month or so since shes starting holding it. Her first blow out left her a scar, so I know it was pretty bad, I will never forget that day. She was literally rolling on the floor just crying in pain, we filled a bulb of water and flushed her out. Even an actual suppository to make it extra soft but none of that made it soft, just came out in a huge ball. My mother had to put her knees to her chest just to push it out. I cried of course, my daughter was in so much pain. I myself deal with issues like that sometimes so I know how it feels. Apparently when I was my daughters age I used to do the same thing, really sucks I probably gave it to her but I do know a lot of toddlers go through poop withholding. I just wish she wasn't one of them. No mother wants their baby in pain. I continue to do the best I can for my child. she is the most important part of my being I cant imagine not having her. I recently bought her some “poop books” I read them to her on the potty, we just spent a whole hour on there reading, she peed for the first time on the toilet that way pretty exciting! I was trying to make her really excited about that but I knew she was extremely uncomfortable. she was holding her poop the whole time she sat there and her tummy is so full and hard from all the poop and all the food from dinner. I know one night isn't gonna change it but maybe doing every single night will make serious progress. god I really hope so. I don't want her to be so scared, I need her to like using it and becoming potty trained. that's only one part of my day that is, work was so long and so irritating today. My shifts are 9 hours long each and I stand on my feet, I don't take breaks so I can get every minute of my money and considering my position I don't have to take one. I'm a food preparer for Panera Bread. My General Manager Julie would not stop asking me to do things, and these things weren't even my job, I wasn't able to start my work until three hours into my shift. which is 5am to 2 pm. got there at 440 this morning and just couldn't believe how much time went by and how far she had me behind. it was reDICKulous. I love my job. I love being in the back and I love my coworkers but she wasn't always my GM. I had a GM named Stefon he was cool as fuck. A tight ass like her but shes 50 times worse I swear. I mean, shes just a straight bible thumping bitch. I understand company reasons but she likes to change things all bc its “her store” and it just picks at her when she sees it. the funniest part is here plans always fall through they just fail so hard, a few months ago we started doing PM preppers and of course I took some of those shift, I mean hey getting more sleep is always awesome. but 4 till close was a drag, id finish my work in 3 hours and either fuck around or have to help with a million different jobs. good thing was is Julie never really closed so I didn't have to see her. Now I open my four days in a row. Ugh. its cool though, I like my mornings. I miss my babies at home though. my daughter and my Babe.

ah, Babe. he is a wonderful man. Growing up into a young woman you think you know what a real man is and take so much shit from a guy all bc you think that's normal and okay, but my Babe? he is the kindest and most respectful man I have ever been with. After one year of being with him I am still as happy as the day I fell in love with him and I really hope that continues. I remember that day so clearly, it was our first date. it was a very sudden one, I had just gotten off of work and he asked me if I wanted to go to a museum and I'm like “hell yea ive never been to one”, right? lmao ive never gone to one sadly but anyways, well on the car ride there he puts on this band ive never heard and the music was just so perfect for the mood. Honestly for a black guy hes very very different from any I ever grew up around and became friends with, he was so white lol. like you know how white people cant dance and whatever, like that. but yeah he so goofy and I'm so goofy and in that moment I'm just staring at him feel the warmest feeling in my chest, my eyes got warm with it. I felt so happy and alive, I couldn't understand what I was feeling but I didn't care, it was fucking amazing. when he finally looked at me I gave him such a sincere smile, and he gave me one back, I knew he knew I was feeling him. Funny thing is, is that.. only reason we started in the first place was bc he was looking for some goods and I had that info, and well he came over and I helped and the night her left I texted him and just started holding a conversation, of course he found it weird af my little white ass, but he went with it, I threw him a dirty text and he responded, sent some pics and he says “girl I don't want that, ill just come get it” lmao like WHAAAAAAT, I have never had no one say that to me lol. it was shocking and surprising but exciting lol, well that night we ended up doing stuff and whoa is he hung, I just remember seeing it in the backlight from the tv and I'm like omg, breathe kasey, you bout to take the biggest dick of your life lmao. and holy damn did I, my poor little kitty. she okay though, she got used to it. But yeah, now we’re here, planning our life and about to conceive our first child together this year. I'm super excited, lol. I love babies so much, I have constant baby fever. but I'm a good mommy so, it doesn't matter. I thin this Is enough typing for tonight.