#'if u ever leave the country' it feels sooooo wrong to me bcs. its not an if. it Will happen. its in my plans
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#not a sad post but idk i dont feel like it should be a proper text post LOL#anyways. i noticed that i dont rlly like saying if when i want to do smth? like for example i dont rlly like saying IF i get the masters#IF i leave the country. IF i start doing x thing#idk if feels like im making it conditional myself. like there is a chance of it not rlly happening#and i dont rlly like that bcs if i start thinking of the possibilities of smth NOT happening i start to get insecure so i dont rlly like#making it a condition and it feels like im just. saying some kind of dream. like i myself dont believe it'll happen and i dont rlly like it#and i dont rlly like when other ppl tell me ifs with things i wanna do. like when speaking abt wanting to leave if someone says#'if u ever leave the country' it feels sooooo wrong to me bcs. its not an if. it Will happen. its in my plans#idk i have a weird relationship with the conditional if and things i wanna do in my life. i dont like making stuff conditional wjth room to#failure. like sure i can always fail but if i think abt that possibility i will probably go insane bcs i dont like failure so i just think#it WILL happen. if it's smth i want it will happen bcs i will make it happen. no matter how much it takes me#ALSO. isnt the wing emoji adorable. i found it today when changing my name on a discord server#jo.txt
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