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anarcho-smarmyism · 3 years

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How would prison abolition deal with murderers, serial killers, paedophiles, torturers,kkk members,neo-Nazis and terrorists? Some people are a legit danger and cannot be allowed to roam society.

So I didn’t answer this at the time, because the anon who sent it is almost definitely the racist troll sending me shit I’m not going to publish (so like uhhh bear that in mind lmao), but I’ve blocked them now and it’s been a few days, so hopefully they’ve fucked off by now. Plus, I’ve been thinking about this question a LOT since before I received it. It’s a question that I think most people have about the concept of prison abolition and reparative justice, and not everyone with these concerns is asking in bad faith. Besides which, with the recent attempted coup and the way it looks like people who participated are actually going to face legal consequences for it (which alone was somewhat surprising to me tbh), I’ve been seeing a lot of leftists discoursing over whether it’s morally okay and intellectually consistent to be happy about cops beating up, killing, and arresting KKK members and Neo-Nazis, so it is now actually topical! Under the cut due to long response~

So the first thing I want to point out, is that literally every single one of the groups of “legit dangers who cannot be allowed to roam society”, are already out there right now. In our current “justice” system, it’s common knowledge that monsters often get off on a technicality, or because they just have the money to throw lawyer after lawyer at the charges, or because they outright bribe someone, or countless other ways to get around the law. You can look on my own literal tumblr blog and watch me argue with grown ass adults who will bold faced admit to consuming child porn with half-assed excuses, and you’ll find more open pedophiles on sites like twitter, reddit, or 4chan, or porn sites where “teen” is usually one of the most popular categories. Besides which, have you ever looked at the average sentences for convicted rapists, wife beaters, or pedophiles, as compared with the sentences for getting caught selling drugs? In middle school I had to walk a mile or two to get to school through a neighborhood we’d been warned had a convicted pedophile in it, who had just been released after less than 15 years. In that same city, I heard a story about a woman shooting and killing her rapist, and prosecutors were discussing giving her the death penalty for it (she was bragging and laughing about it on video, it was definitely premeditated, but still). Have you ever looked at the statistics of how many rapists and abusers aren’t reported, or if they are reported aren’t prosecuted, or if they are are prosecuted with a slap on the wrist (remember Brock Turner????) Also I notice how you didn’t even mention domestic abusers or rapists in your list of people who need to be locked up lolololol shows where your priorities vis a vis “public safety are I’m sorry, but the system just does not work the way you think it does, the we are taught it does.

People who make this argument always act like the systems we have now are efficient and nigh on flawless when it comes to “not letting dangerous people roam society”, but it isn’t and it can’t be and it never will be. That very fact ought to be enough to shake your faith in the idea that society will become a nonstop Purge of indiscriminate violence if everyone who’s committed a sufficiently despicable act of violence isn’t locked up for the rest of their lives -but you might say, “okay, but those are flukes, the system still works because most of the people who are “a danger to society” are usually locked up.” I’m not completely sold that that’s even true (have you ever heard of the opportunities cops had to bring in serial killers and murderers, who just didn’t care enough to try? Jeffrey Dahmer is a good example of this), but I’ll assume it is to move on to my next point.

Even if we assumed that the system as we have it, worked flawlessly as designed, that doesn’t change the fact that a lot of the categories mentioned here are people that are actively running the very systems that this rhetoric is defending. It’s well-documented that American white supremacists of various stripes have infiltrated law enforcement and the military for the express purpose of not just “roaming free”, but getting to exert the power of the State over people of color. Cops and soldiers kill people all the time, and not only are they not penalized, they’re celebrated for it. Agents of the State fucking torture people all the time, and I don’t just mean Guantanamo Bay or war crimes by soldiers; cops have been caught on camera spraying protesters with pepper spray and beating them once they’ve already been handcuffed or while they’re chained to trees or whatever -not because they think they “need” to, because they want to, and they know they’ll get away with it. Cops also systematically torture people in prison with solitary confinement. Heads of state drop bombs on civilians for “politically motivated reasons”, they do all kinds of shit that would be called “terrorism” if anybody but a State did it; and people might disapprove, but they don’t (generally) claim that the politicians and generals who made that call are “a danger to society” that need to get life in prison. If you genuinely believe that whether these acts of violence are “legal” or not changes whether they’re okay, or that a person who engages in illegal violence is “dangerous” but people who engage in legal violence aren’t... I’m honestly not even going to try to refute that here lol, prison abolition is level 5 shit and you’re at level -1, study how authoritarianism in general works before trying to understand prison abolition (not trying to be a dick here, it’s what i would tell my younger self when I believed the same thing).

It simply does not hold up to rational scrutiny to believe that society will collapse into an orgy of violence and mayhem if we abolish prison (or that we’ll have to resort to medieval punishments instead??? lol funny take i remember from some racist troll or other over the years), when those dangers are already present (and in some cases widely celebrated as “heroes” and given the power to indiscriminately brutalize “acceptable targets” with the State’s monopoly on violence) under the current system.

The next thing people need to understand is that contrary to popular belief and despite how counterintuitive it sounds, even the brutality of our current prison system is not an effective deterrent to crime (linked a Guardian article that looks like it has some good info on this, but I recommend a book called Unfair: The New Science of Criminal Injustice by Adam Benforado for more information). Let me say that again: the threat of prison has been empirically shown to be INEFFECTIVE as a deterrent to crime. Do you really think that a serial killer or someone who wants to blow up a building full of people is going to be more likely to follow the law for fear of prison, than regular people doing regular people crimes like selling drugs or getting into drunk fights that go too far?

I don’t think anyone is actually willing to argue that prison “rehabilitates” anyone, or does anything besides make regular criminals into angrier, more antisocial, more desperate criminals with more criminal connections and less options for any kind of a legitimate living, so I’m just going to point out that having such a large prison population arguably creates more people who have shitty lives of poverty and are surrounded by people who are in and out of prison. It’s not like that “makes” anybody into a serial killer, but I feel like you’d have to willfully ignorant to act like it’s not a factor in increasing violent crime in affected community.

So, I’ve so far argued that prison is an ineffective solution to the problems it claims to exist in order to solve, and that in many cases, it actually makes the problems that lead to these sorts of dangerous people (”regular” murderers and the radicalization of Neo-Nazis and KKK members in particular, I think) becoming dangerous, or at least more dangerous, in the first place. What I haven’t done, is talk about what I believe is the real core of the issue when it comes to prison abolition: nobody wants to fucking peacefully rehabilitate these people. I am arguing for a system that would handle these people basically as gently as possible, with the goal of releasing them back into society eventually, and I still believe these things mostly intellectually, not emotionally. I don’t want the men who sexually assaulted me and/or my loved ones to get off scot free (they did, of course, but that’s beside the point), much less serial killers or Nazis, and I’m not about to get on my high horse about wanting revenge on people who’ve committed these kinds of atrocities. The reason I’m a prison abolitionist in spite of these feelings is that I do not believe the desire for revenge, for punishment for punishment’s own sake, is an impulse we should indulge when creating social and political infrastructures that have ultimate power over millions of lives. In the words of someone talking about abolishing the death penalty, the question isn’t “do they deserve to die”, the question is “do we deserve to kill”; and here, the question is not “does anyone deserve to be imprisoned in this system”, the question is “do we deserve to brutalize people in this way for virtually zero practical benefits to our society”. What any person “deserves” is a subjective moral and philosophical question, one that no conceivable human justice system could ever actually answer. We as a society need to build alternatives to prison (and police!) that can actually address these problems, actually prevent the conditions that create and enable monsters, and actually rehabilitate (to whatever extent that is possible) criminals -even the ones we, personally, despise. Any long-term incarceration that may end up being 100% required should be designed to reduce the suffering of the person in it, no matter how despicable of a person they are. Trying to solve “the problem of evil” instead of trying to create a more functional and just society is a fool’s errand that can only lead to more evil existing, in the end.

At the end of the day, the “irredeemable” people you listed off as justifications for the continuing existence of prison, are only a tiny fraction of the people in prison, even the ones with life sentences. A full understanding of the horror and oppression the prison industrial complex enacts on the people in it and their communities (and how the system is designed to make a profit off of human suffering and death) is something you’ll have to read some actual books about in order to acquire. However, I don’t think it’s controversial to say that any horror we as a society deem “acceptable” to do to the worst of the worst, will also be done to regular criminals, as well as to innocent people who are wrongly imprisoned. Any brutality you design with a serial killer in mind WILL eventually be a punishment for a petty thief or drug dealer or sex worker, or a person who didn’t commit the crime they were incarcerated for. Is it really worth it? Is it really, really worth all the misery and oppression prison causes, to satiate our sense of justice? I don’t believe that it is. I believe that we have a responsibility both to the incarcerated and to their communities to base our policies and institutions on actually solving these societal problems however we can, and leaving our “eye for an eye” mentality in the dark ages where it belongs.

If you are interested in prison abolition as a concept, I can recommend some good books on it. You also need to understand that concept of “reparative justice”, which I’ve alluded to here but not really explained because OH MY GOD THIS POST IS TOO LONG ALREADY. Short explanation of it is that it aims to repair the harm done by the crime and rehabilitate the criminal through through therapy and trying to get them to actually understand what they’ve done and empathize with who they’ve hurt, while also providing therapy and resources to the victim of the crime (when it’s something violent and the reparation can’t just be “give them their money back plus extra for damages” or something). The point is not to satiate anybody’s sense of justice or revenge, but to proactively try to solve the problem the crime has caused and prevent the offender from doing it again. It would need to work in conjunction with the abolition of police (and replacement with better infrastructure for the few things cops do that we actually need done) and various other social programs and measures to prevent the circumstances that lead to crime. This sounds like a long shot because it is, but just because it hasn’t been done on a wide scale before doesn’t mean it can’t be, and just because it will be difficult doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.

#prison #prison abolition #reparative justice #anarchist #anarchism #prison industrial complex #asks #anonymous

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melonoverlord · 6 years

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the 50 qs for the goofy drama zip zap boi

Their age?

Their sexuality/sexual preference?

Bisexual

Any siblings/Only child?

He has two siblings, one older sister (Judith) who he’d sell his soul to Satan for, and one younger brother (Reuben) who he’d sell to Satan. Jk, he loves Benny but sometimes he is too much to handle. They are all separably vying for “Most Extra Spiegelmann” Award

Their favourite season?

Winter. His goal every year is to make the tallest snowman with Ashi.

Who were/are their parents/guardians?

His parents were Henry and Antonia, and were pretty good parents to all of them and always encouraged him to be himself, but when Judith disappeared and it didn’t really seem like she had run away because Daniel told the police that she never had a problem at home, but like pre-teens did, sometimes have arguments with her mom and dad (mainly related that Judith wanted to go out and stay out with her friends), they were tried and arrested for child abduction and murder and now Daniel and Reuben officially live with their Great Aunt Theresa, but when Daniel’s boss entered the picture, he paid Daniel’s aunt to have unofficial custody over the boys as long as he paid college education and living expenses for them.

Their gender?

Male

Their date of birth?

September 15, 2002

What clothing style?

Usually gray jeans and t-shirts of either shows he’s been in or the stupid graphic tees you get at target. In his work, his boss has been trying to make sure he dresses better and is now starting to wear either sweaters or button ups with slacks. He doesn’t like that very much.

What is their favourite food after a break-up?

Butterscotch cookies from a bakery in Downtown Grand Rapids. They would know him by name.

Their favourite thing to do after a break-up?

Listen to every single musical or Disney love song and cry while eating chocolate chip ice cream. It hurts his tummy afterwards but it helps to focus on an upset tummy than a broken heart.

What happens in the ‘honeymoon phase’ for this character?

The kid will be broke because he’s always trying to buy gifts based on what you said you liked that one time. He’ll also always be with you and giving you cuddles and holding your hand and say “I found this flower, it reminded me of you.”

How many serious relationships have they been in?

None. He always had eyes for Ashi and didn’t know whether she liked him back.

What is their nationality?

American, though his family came from Poland in the 1930s.

What languages do they speak?

English, Hebrew, and Polish.

What is their profession/Education?

He was taught in Michigan for most of his life in both regular public school and then Hebrew school, and now he’s on a hiatus on school while he works, but still takes classes online at the local city college.

Their favourite comfort food?

Chocolate milkshakes. He’ll drink like five in an hour. Who cares if he’s lactose intolerant.

What’s a food they hate?

Tomatoes. They’re too squishy.

Their music taste?

Alternative rock or musical theatre. He’s honestly a fan of anything except country. Fuck country.

Is there a story behind their name/meaning?

Daniel’s a king in the bible, and Henry wanted to have a strong son that could make their family proud.

Something they do that seems childish to others?

When he gets overstimulated, whether happy or sad, he starts to cry. He once cried because he couldn’t finish an exam on time. He still got a B+ but he cried.

What is their all-time favourite TV show?

Mythbusters. They way they just *clenches fist* bust those myths. He also really likes anything with Gordon Ramsey because he’s funny.

What is their all-time favourite movie?

He’s a super big fan of the Indiana Jones movies, particularly The Last Crusade. His favorite part is where Indy and his dad set the room on fire.

How big is their family?

Originally it was him, Judith, Benny, and his parents, but now it’s him, Benny, techinically Great Aunt Theresa? And kinda his boss.

Are they close to anyone specific in the family?

He was extremely close to Judith when they were younger. He would say she was his best friend and she would come to his theatre performances when his parents had work. Now that she’s gone, he’s close(ish) to Benny, but they have a lot of tension from Benny just wanting his freedom and Daniel wanting to be a brother instead of a parent.

Have they got any allergies?

Bees and mosquitoes. He gets severe reactions from any bug bites that camping anywhere is kind of off the table.

Are they an emotional person?

Yes, but he tries to keep it under control and do whatever he’s being told to do. But the kid definitely feels the highs and lows

Do they get angry/lose their temper quickly?

He’s got a lot of reasons to be angry, but he knows he has to hold it together for Benny (and Ashi). So he just waits until he’s alone and then he cries.

What are some of their guilty pleasures?

Playing video games for hours on end, talking to his pet gerbil Madonna, and writing out letters to Ashi that he can’t send so he keeps under his mattress at home.

Do they have pets? Do they want pets?

He has his pet gerbil Madonna that he and Benny watch over.

Do they like kids? Do they want kids/have kids?

He’s alright with kids, but he couldn’t handle another right now since he’s kind of the sole caretaker of Reuben.

Who’s cuddle buddy are they?

It used to be Judith’s and Ashi’s, but now it’s just Benny, which Benny absolutely hates. He squirms out of every hug that Daniel tries to give him.

Do they have any tattoos?

Nope, baby’s afraid of needles.

Do they have any piercings?

No, for the same reasons.

What is their hair colour? Is it their natural colour?

Dark blonde. He dyed the ends of it to a blue when he was fourteen, and Benny and Ashi both immediately agreed they hated it, so he cut it off.

Do they like musicals?

He loves musicals. He’s been participating in community theatre since he was around seven or eight (he had his first starring role as Gavroche in Les Miserables) and listens to musicals to calm himself down from panic attacks.

Do they like marmite?

He doesn’t say it to anything, but he actually likes it on toast. He doesn’t eat it that often because nearly everyone on his team hates it, but he enjoys it on the downlow.

Do they like glitter?

He has a glitter folder that he puts his sheet music in. He likes anything flashy and shiny.

Do they believe in the supernatural?

Mothman is real and you can’t convince him otherwise.

Have they ever seen a dead body?

He’s been lucky enough not to, but he’s worried that one of these days in the line of work he’s doing, he’s going to either see a dead body or

the dead body

Have they ever had a near-death experience?

He’s had plenty of near death experiences, a lot of them by his own doing. He once was about 20 feet from splatting on the pavement because he teleported too late.

Have they ever broken a bone?

Despite his general disregard for safety, Daniel is lucky that he’s never broken a bone. He almost broke his tailbone when he fell off a tree when he was fourteen, but he just had the air knocked out of him.

What are they like when they’re drunk/what kind of drunk are they?

He’d be the flirty drunk who just says he loves you so much. He’s also the one that forgets that you’re dating, so when you say you’re taken he starts crying.

Have they ever drunk underage?

Nah, his faith is pretty strict about drinking for funsies.

What is the first thing they do when they wake up?

Go to water his plants in his room. He has a fern named Patricia.

Do they consider themselves popular?

He’s had friends here and there mostly through theatre, but in his mind having Ashi was enough. It didn’t really set in how much he was lonely until she left.

How do they like their tea/coffee?

With as much sugar dumped in. Think you added enough sugar? No, add more.

What do they smell like?

Apple cologne, hazelnut, and pinewood candles.

Are they a virgin?

Yes, he’s only had one kiss and that was a stage kiss for Rent. He played Roger.

Do they wear glasses/contacts?

He wears contacts because he doesn’t like anything crowding around his eyes. He likes his Flicker mask because it actually covers the whole face rather than just his eyes and he can focus on outside stuff.

Are they good at remembering significant dates? Anniversaries, birthdays etc?

He’s good when it comes to Benny and Ashi, but completely abysmal when it comes to himself or other people’s. He once forgot a staff meeting with his team until they were literally at his doorstep politely demanding to come in.

#imaturtlebug #my characters #Daniel Spiegelmann #Library of Alexandria campaign

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thomaspredestined-blog · 6 years

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Untitled (The Table at Cana Event I).

(This was written in two hours and completely unedited. I apologize for how poorly written it is and that I didn’t come up with a witty, clever title.)

Welcome out to Event I for The Table at Cana. Please give a huge round of applause to your bar staff! We didn’t know what to expect tonight, so please bear with them as they pour your beers, grab your Coke and popcorn, and so on. Personally, I want to thank each of you for coming out tonight. It means way more than I can express.

So, starting out, I guess we should address the first elephant in the room. The print out in front of you says “Grant Butler.” I’m not Grant. Due to some issues that I’ll let him speak on, he had to cancel. Today. I wrote this at 2:30pm at a bar while drinking a beer, anxiously sweating, and listening to a metal band called Necrot. I would have written it at home, but it was way too easy to watch the new episode of SNL and nap there.

And the second elephant… What is this? Why is this?

This, this thing, The Table at Cana, was born about a dozen years ago. Sundance Channel aired a documentary series about a dude named Jay Bakker. From those Bakker’s, yes. Jim and Tammy Faye were his parents. When their empire fell apart, he fell with them. Ended up with a pretty gnarly drug addiction. The documentary picks up shortly after he gets clean and comes back into the faith he grew up in. Only he’d changed. He started his ministry, Revolution Church, in a bar in Phoenix, AZ, moved it to Atlanta, and then New York, before finally ending up in Minnesota, of all places.

Revolution Church focused on meeting people where they were, using real conversations about real life with honest, real, frank language. Some dirty. And since people are always in bars, that’s where they began. His church has always been focused on LGTBQ+ inclusion and rights.

I stole his idea during college. The only difference was we added a cover band that would play Tom Petty followed by Hillsong tracks. Someone would get up and speak. We had an anonymous text line, like we do now, for people to send in any questions they had about any topic, struggle, issue, etc.

I took my favorite parts of that and decided to build this. Which is a really polite way of saying I completely stole his idea this time around. Currently, it’s set up to happen once a month. If we build a following that wants something more, bigger, whatever, then we will revisit that. Given that this is a 21+ venue, I assumed once a month would allow for people to get sitters for their kids and whatnot.

For someone who grew up in the church, and left it over a number of important issues, this feels more tangible to me. There’s no worship band playing incredibly boring, uninspired ballads that could either be about God or a girl. And that’s not knocking the worship team where I currently go to church. They’re solid players and even better people. However, the music itself is just…blah.

And then there’s the announcements and the greeting and the teaching and the altar calls and all of that. There’s no discussion. It’s one opinion, and unfortunately, sometimes there’s no application or take-away. Plus, the person speaking, typically, has to answer to a board of elders or a council or other words that American capitalistic Christianity has co-opted. It’s a business and Sunday mornings feel like a product launch or press release.

This is not that. I don’t want it to be that. If it gets to that point, I will shut it down. I have scheduled a number of different folks with different backgrounds, theological points of view, and teaching styles to come here and hang out with us for an hour and a half once a month. I’m not asking them to do specific topics or speak to specific issues. They have free reign to say what they want, knowing that the only requirement is they have to be open to discuss and, possibly, defend their point of view after the teaching portion is complete.

They’re also invited to stick around for the Q&A after the discussion. Which is entirely open to whatever you wanna talk about, by the way. It would be super easy for me (well, not today) to get up here with a prepared lesson, a fully defensible stance, backed up with scripture and quotes and so on, and feel good about what I’d taught and what I’d done. But, when we leave the lesson and venture into real lives, that’s where it becomes solely about the relationships that we’re building. Which is ultimately the goal. I want us to grow into a community.

As this evolves, I see us doing events in town. I’d like for us to partner with Guardian when they go out and paint houses. I’d like for us to have some sort of space at something like Brewfest or Muncie Gras or somewhere where we can meet specific, in the moment, tangible needs. I want this to grow into a force in town.

And the first way that we show love, be a force, do good as a community is by tipping well. Very, very well.

So, all of this was born out of distaste for how the church operates in today’s world. It was born out of how the church, seemingly, fails to meet people where they are. I work in a bar and meet people every day that don’t expect me to be religious or a professed Christian because of how I make my money. They catch flak from their specific faith communities for having a beer or getting some dinner in a place that sells beer. I meet people all the time that have horror stories about the nonsense they’ve put up with from the church. Grant, the dude who was originally scheduled to speak tonight, caught hell from one of the elders in his church for having a beer in public on the night Grant’s wife died.

Even with this thinly veiled contempt for the American Church, I am actively pursuing a career in ministry. And, almost as a precursor to me having to speak today, yesterday afternoon, I received an email from a church who’d seen my resume and heard my teachings and wanted me to fill our their application. Question #6 under the “Christian Involvement” section on their application was, “After reading the following documents linked below, is there anything in those statements that you would object to?” They then provided links to The Nashville Statement, which is a hate crime dressed in cherry picked scripture, The Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy and The Cambridge Declaration, which are both laughable ideas of the Bible, not literally, but you know, literally, being God.

I was almost offended that someone could have heard me teach, read my resume, and statement of faith, and think that I would be cool with those statements.

I wrote back the following:

Unfortunately, given the amount of hardcore pornography I view on a semi-regular basis (none of that gay stuff, though), I am unable to open the links you provided me. With how progressive Nashville, Chicago, and Massachusetts are, or at least how I perceive them to be, I bet all those links are full of that gay loving, snowflake praising, participation trophy giving kinda Christianity. And to that, I say no thank you. I want my God to be angry and my Bible to be better than Him.

And after I sent them the application back, welling with pride at my capacity for artful snark, I realized how wrong I was. My response was beyond uncalled for. I was fighting a violent, misogynistic, homophobic, douchey church with sarcasm, snark, and my own blend of douchery and hate.

I immediately thought of Matthew 9, when Jesus calls Matthew.

Matthew, a tax collector, is sitting at his tax collection booth. You know, just collecting taxes and being generally hated, when Jesus walks by. In my mind, this is a weird version of the farmer’s market here in town. Except more people and less deodorant. People with booths selling things and others milling about, thumbing though the booths. But, you know, no sausage sandwiches with pepper jelly, or delicious vegan baked goods, or free-range, organic, non-murdered meat options.

So, Jesus sees Matthew sitting there, tells Matthew to follow him, and Matthew gets up and follows. Boom. Done.

This is also the book of Matthew, so I highly doubt he’s gonna point out how many stupid questions he asked Jesus or how they argued or how long he took to close up the booth before following Jesus.

And that night, Matthew invites his new pal Jesus over for dinner. So, they’re breaking bread, sharing a beer (maybe they ordered some pizza from Cousin Vinny’s who has online ordering and delivers here) and the leaders of the church see this and then ask Jesus’s disciples, “Why’s your boy eating with sinners and tax collectors?”

Essentially, they’re saying, “Why’s he associating with the kind of people WE have decided are unclean? Unworthy? Not us? Why does your teacher not adhere to the binary thinking that we deem to be holy?”

Jesus flexes his superhuman ability here and hears them ask the question. His response is hilarious, biting, and perfect.

He says, “It’s not the sick who need a doctor. Go and learn what Hosea 6:6 means.” I’m paraphrasing, by the way. I had a few hours to knock this out. Get off my back, Josh.

So, because we’re not biblical scholars like the Pharisees were, and we don’t have the whole of the Jewish scriptures memorized, especially the first book of the minor prophets, we go to Hosea.

And, because I firmly believe in a contextual understanding and reading of the text, we start in Hosea 6:4 -

What can I do with you, Ephraim? What can I do with you, Judah?

This is God speaking through Hosea here. It’s got the ring of a disappointed parent, right? I imagine Hosea delivering this line with his fists on his hips…

Your love is like the morning mist, like the early dew that disappears. Therefore I cut you in pieces with my prophets, I killed you with the words of my mouth— then my judgments go forth like the sun.

And now, Hosea 6:6, the killing blow, the Pharisees emasculation by the Christ, the Christ’s sickest burn is delivered when he says to learn what this means…

For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

Boom. Take that, ya’ dummies!

Jesus just told you that God wanted mercy over legalism. God wants your heart more than your actions. You bunch of idiots.

Hahaha.

You suck. Jesus just told you how you missed the whole point. How it’s mercy, not your stupid way of understanding the rules.

Mercy trumps intelligence, you dumb shi…

Yeah. That’s when the irony hit me. Here I was completely justifying being a jerk to people I’d never met because I’m 99.99% positive that they’re wrong. I was using how right I was, how well I was interpreting the text, how good I was for showing mercy to everyone (except the dicks who didn’t show mercy to those I did) as my own form of legalism.

Lately, I’ve been dealing quite a bit with just how much I hate the church. How badly I want to see the institution of American Christianity burn to the ground. How I’d love to be the one who nails the doors shut, pours out the gasoline, and lights the match. We’ve turned the temple into the savior. We’ve turned the institution into what it’s supposed to point toward. And in doing so, we’ve failed our communities and each other.

My desire to see it destroyed, my anger, has become my god. I’ve found myself sacrificing on the altar of hating the church. I’ve gone out of my way to destroy the grotesque, antiquated, conservative, outdated, banal Christianity that is so prevalent in America today. I got into an argument with a missionary on a Facebook comment thread because I just knew I was in the right. Yeah. I’m not proud of it, either. I literally ended the argument with, “This conversation is pointless. I’ll go ahead and remove the speck from my eye and will pray you can remove the log. With love, brother.”

Here’s to burnt offerings without acknowledgment.

12 years ago, I started this thing in hopes to subvert the campus church I was being forced to attend twice a week. I wanted nothing to do with this corporate, business model church that operated with a budget and bottom line and board and so on. I wanted a punk rock revolution in the church. I wanted that DIY spirit to find itself manifested within a group of people that lived within a community and did more for the community, in the name of that community, in the spirit of that community than the church did.

But, if we keep shopping at Walmart because of the savings, Walmart keeps winning. And, in my previous experience with this, the monopoly beat out the mom and pop. The school threatened to expel those of us involved in our bar community. They used their law to subvert our mercy. And we shrank away, hoarding kindling for the fire.

I firmly believe that Hosea 6:4-6 stands as clearly for us today as it did for the kingdoms of Israel. The love of the church evaporates as quickly as morning fog or dew. It’s painfully fickle. When you’re following what your particular church’s doctrine allows, all is well. But, the minute that you find yourself questioning penal substitutionary atonement, five point calvinism, or why listening to GWAR is of the devil, you suddenly find yourself on the outside of a community you used to enjoy.

We are a people of rule and law. We take comfort in the simple black and white, dualistic nature of rules. You do this, you’re good. You do that, you’re bad. But, the Bible, the teachings of Jesus, life, they all have grey areas. They have multiple dimensions. They have variables that are unaccounted for in a black and white understanding of things.

We are called to show mercy over sacrifice. We are called to move always towards love over law. And, given the current social and political climate, what could be more powerful? When the church leaders of the Christ’s day were too cowardly to come to him and ask what he was doing, when they asked why he was eating with those they deemed unclean, when they questioned why he wasn’t following the LAW, he responded by telling them to get bent. Well, you know, nicer. He tells them to understand what Hosea 6:6 means. He told a group of people who prided themselves on understanding scripture to go learn the meaning of scripture. Absolutely hilarious. And brutal. The kids today would say it was “hashtag savage.”

I hate Joel Osteen and his particular brand of get-rich biblical nonsense. I hate Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell (Jr. and Sr.) because they seem to think that Christianity should be legislated. It should become the fourth branch of the government. They fail to realize that Christ stood in direct opposition to Empire. I hate Franklin Graham and the fact he’s riding daddy’s coattails into the conservative, xenophobic, Christian faith hall of fame. Get your own schtick, man.

Denny Burk. John Piper. James Dobson. JP Moreland. JI Packer. Tony Perkins.

And every other coward who signed the Nashville Statement is offering sacrifice over mercy. And every moment I spend hating them, hating what they stand for, hating the church and Christ that they represent to the world at large is a moment of me not understanding Hosea 6:6. It’s a moment of me aligning myself, at least in action, with their brand of anti-inclusive douchery.

If you’re a church leader in here and you’ve got an open position, know that I’ll never agree with that pile of steaming dog crap, nor will I agree with the cowards who are so untrusting of God’s plan that they have to document their bigotry. With that being said, though, I have been convicted to show them mercy. Which is why I stopped at dog crap and didn’t go on to call them any of the other “C” words I know.

I’m not afraid of atheists or skeptics turning the world away from God. I’m worried about those focused more on the law, the legalistic, exclusive, fundamentalist, conservative talking points. I’m worried about those who do not bestow mercy. I’m worried about those who do not acknowledge how big, loving, inclusive, strong God can be. I’m worried about those that would compartmentalize the creator of all into a gay bashing, gender conforming, bearded white dude.

The minute that we use our freedom, whether it be one we’re allegedly born into, or one we are born again into, to marginalize, subjugate, or enslave those outside that freedom, we have gone astray. The Table at Cana has meaning. It has purpose. It has a design.

The Table is an inclusive place where all are welcome to sit. All. Whether it be the asexual, the agender, the transgender, the gay, the straight, the white, the black, the oppressor, or the oppressed. All are welcome to come and sit. All are welcome to pull up a chair and buy me a pint of Frank the Tank.

Cana was where the Christ performed his first recorded miracle. It’s where he turned water into wine. It’s where he kicked the party into a higher gear.

So, we are an inclusive community, welcoming all, to party with us. I would ask, if you choose to continue growing with this community, hold me to the Hosea 6:6 standard. Do not let me get too caught up in my own form of legalism. Hold yourself to that same standard. Do not let your tendencies, thoughts, or actions dissuade you from welcoming all who would show up. Unless they’re a Pearl Jam fan. Pearl Jam fans are every bit as awful of those who signed the Nashville Statement and twice as pretentious.

Jesus was brutal with the Pharisees. That’s because they knew the scriptures. He held them to a higher standard. They made their living, a good, comfortable living, off the backs and minds and hearts of those in their community. And he called them out when they weren’t doing right by that community. They knew how God had, time and again, shown the Israelites mercy and grace, and they were unwilling to show that same kindness to their communities. And because of that, he made fools of them over and over.

He didn’t burn down the temple. He didn’t smite them. He didn’t even remove them from power. He simply pointed out how wrong they were and gave them the chance to correct their behavior.

And, that’s where I wanna be. That’s where I want this and us to be. Given what happened with Grant today, it’s incredibly easy to continue the cycle of hatred and anger towards the church. Especially in this place, outside of the church. But, we’re called to live above and beyond that. We’re called to mercy, not law. We’re called to acknowledge and follow the one above it all, as opposed to merely go through the motions of holiness.

I’m sorry for how unprepared this has been. I’m sorry that it’s jumped all over the place and seems like I wrote it this afternoon. I finished it two hours ago and haven’t had time to edit it or really organize it like I normally would.

We’re gonna open things up for a discussion now. The discussion is to be aimed more at what I spoke about, at least initially. The anonymous text line number is on the paper in front of you. That’s a Google Voice number tied to a dummy Google account that has no contacts in. So, unless I have your number memorized, which is my mom and my wife, I won’t know who’s texting me. If you don’t want to ask your question out loud, if you’re nervous or afraid or whatever, use the number. Join in on the conversation how you can. As you go through your week, you can also use that number if you need to vent, talk, send pictures of your pet, or whatever.

If the discussion wanes, or if no one is interested in that, we’ll move into a question and answer time. This is solely directed by y’all. Whatever you have questions about, as it pertains to faith, God, the church, the Christ, etc., feel free to ask. I’m not gonna explain where babies come from and I’m sure as hell not going to tell you what beer you should get next. They’re all delicious.

I’m gonna pray a prayer of benediction over us before we end this time of “teaching” and move on. You don’t have to bow your head, close your eyes, or take off your hat if you don’t want to.

As much as I hate Paul, I’m pulling this benediction from Romans 15. Let us be benedicted:

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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jaroslavprachar · 6 years

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There’s No Expiration Date … But Here are Some Warning Signs That a Dog Is Dying

If you’re reading this article, you’re probably worried that you’re missing the warning signs of your dog dying. You may even have literally searched for “warning signs dog dying.” As editor of The Dog Cancer Survival Guide, I wanted to write this, just for you. Here’s what I need you to know, right up front, right now:

There is no expiration date for your dog. There is no such thing as a crystal ball we can consult to know “today’s the day.” No one, not your veterinarian, not your spouse, and not you, can predict with 100% accuracy “when” your dog is going to pass from this earth.

There are some warning signs that you can use to see the end as it nears.

There are some wonderful, simple things you can do for your dog RIGHT NOW that will help, no matter when the end comes.

This is a very, very hard time for you, and you should be very gentle and kind to yourself.

Before we launch in, let me tell you this: I am not a veterinarian. I am a writer, and the editor of the best-selling book on dog cancer, The Dog Cancer Survival Guide, but I have no medical credentials of my own. What I am including in this article is what I know from Dr. Demian Dressler and his co-author, oncologist Dr. Susan Ettinger … but mostly from my own experience as a dog lover, just like you, who has gone through the dark nights of agony at the end of a beloved dog’s life.

With that disclaimer, let’s move on.

There’s No Expiration Date

Readers of the book often join our private Facebook support group, where they can network and get support from other readers who understand what it’s like to have a dog with cancer. Far too often, a reader posts a photo of their gorgeous dog and asks “how do I know when it’s time to let go?”

And the advice from fellow guardians (what we call dog lovers facing canine cancer) is almost always summed up this way:

“You can’t know ahead of time … but when it is finally time, you will absolutely know. Your dog will tell you.”

This idea that our dogs will “tell” us may sound a little obvious (or mystical, depending upon how seriously you take interspecies communication studies). But it’s not.

We often have to be reminded that our dogs actually have opinions, thoughts, feelings, and preferences. They are not human, but they are, in a very important sense, people. I’m not making this up! This is a relatively new way of thinking about animals, but it’s becoming clearer with every passing year: this planet is populated by over 7 billion human individuals, and thousands of billions more of individual animals.

Dogs are not just members of a species called Canis lupus familiaris… in fact, they are individuals who happen to be part of that species. Just like all of us humans are individuals who happen to be part of our species, Homo sapiens.

Dogs have a sense of themselves as individuals. They don’t look at another dog and think “hey, we’re interchangeable!”

But because dogs don’t speak “English” (although they understand a lot of it), and because we don’t speak “Canine,” we often forget that our dog IS a person. He has his own unique view on his world. She has her own set of experiences — experiences that you will never actually know about. Because you haven’t been her, and you haven’t lived his life!

My point is, it’s easy to forget in our distraction and panic over our dog’s warning signs that they are feeling ill, or maybe even dying, that they are actually having their own experience — that is separate from ours.

And when we forget that about other people (whether human or dog) … we forget that we need to LISTEN. Just as we would to someone in our life who does speak our language. If your grandfather told you “I think I’m near the end,” you would understand what he meant. Well, dogs might be able to “tell” us something like that, too.

So, when we offer each other those frustrating words of advice “your dog will tell you,” another way to say it is “ask your dog.”

Look, there just isn’t any way to know the exact timing of anyone’s death, human or canine. But there is great value in listening to someone, closely observing them, and providing comfort, whether they are near death, or not.

And our dogs certainly deserve that close, loving attention, at all times in their lives. Goodness knows, I wish I were even a fraction as good as my dogs. I would be a saint.

So, bottom line is this: set aside your need to “know” if now is the time for your dog. It’s just not possible to know for sure — until you do.

When it’s time, you will know, because your dog will somehow, someway, get through to you to tell you. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for yourself AND your dog is to listen, observe, and offer comfort and help as needed. How much time you have left is less important than how much closeness and love you give each other in whatever time you have left.

(I speak from hard, hard experience.)

Warning Signs: Dog Dying

OK, here are some things that you can look for to see if your dog is nearing the end of life. Keep in mind that none of these are definitive, and if your dog is only going through one or two of them, it may not mean she’s near the end. I have heard from too many readers over the years about turnarounds to think that any one of the following signs definitely means your dog is going for sure.

But if you see several of the following warning signs, all at the same time? Breathe deeply. We’ll cover some more things for you to do in the next section.

Lethargy That Just Won’t Quit

In general, dogs like to move, walk, play, bounce, cuddle, fetch, eat, drink, and relieve themselves. Any time your dog is listless or lethargic … not “acting like himself” you can be sure he’s not feeling well for some reason.

In particular, lying in one spot for long periods of time, especially one that is kind of quiet and isolated, or not a normal napping spot, is a sign that your pup is feeling like life is not something he wants to participate in wholeheartedly. Those of us who live in rural areas, where our dogs have lots of outside spaces to roam, are familiar with how, given a chance, some dogs prefer to isolate themselves, far from their families, when they sense their time is up. I had a friend whose elderly dog seemed fine right up until the night she didn’t come in when called after they let her out after dinner. They found her curled up under a bush in an area she almost never napped in — as if she didn’t want to ruin their happy memories of other trees, paths, and walks.

If you live in a city or suburb, and your dog doesn’t have an outside option, you might find he chooses a weird spot you’ve never seen him use for a nap. Another friend’s dog curled up in their laundry room for his last days. It only made sense when she realized how it was out of the way, out of traffic, and afforded him maximum privacy from his beloved small human family members in their busy house.

If a dog is near the end, they may not want to get up from their spot, even for their most favoritest, favoritest things, like toys, treats, and offers to go for a walk. They might not even seem happy to see family members. If your dog has been sort of puddling up in a pile of lethargic, disinterested misery, and it’s been more than a day, that can be an early warning sign that she is getting ready to leave this life.

Lack of Interest in Food and/or Water

It’s the rare dog that doesn’t want to eat. Sometimes, nausea from cancer treatments (or cancer itself) can be the culprit. Other health conditions, medications, and even foods can certainly cause temporary nausea, too. Here’s one of my favorite articles about how to help your dog to eat when she won’t.

But if you’ve gone through all of that, and even started offering other tidbits that might be no-no’s on a typical cancer diet, and he still won’t eat? Or if he does, but then vomits? That’s a warning sign.

If your dog stops drinking water, that’s another sign that she is possibly nearing the end. At the end of life, our organs start shutting down, and as a result, the brain just stops sending us hunger and thirst signals. There’s no point in taking in food and water that can’t be digested and then used by the body.

So, if you’ve tried and failed to get your dog to take an interest in food and water, and it’s been over a day or two, it might be because he’s near the end.

Movement Problems

Dogs that are near the end of their life often become very disoriented, so if your dog does get up and move around, she may stumble, wobble, or collapse. You may find him shaking, or even having what looks like a seizure, as his muscles tremble and discharge energy.

Losing Control of Bowels and/or Incontinence

A dog who is dying often loses control of their muscles (as above), including all the sphincter muscles that hold waste in the intestines, or urine in the bladder. Combine that loss of control with the inability to move with confidence and general lethargy, and you see incontinence. Often, you’ll find your dog has soiled himself without even attempting to get up — urinating and/or defecating right where he’s lying. You might also see sores from the waste irritating the skin.

Labored Breathing

At the very end of life, breathing often becomes ragged. Instead of a nice, even in-and-out, you might hear great breaths in, and then a long pause, and a little sigh out. There might be panting, or great pauses, or almost a rattling sound as your pup struggles to keep going.

Super Snuggliness

I have a theory that most dogs absolutely know that they are dying, and they want to make the most of their last moments. Before you point out that I just told you about dogs isolating themselves to die, let me tell you this: both of those dogs actually spent the hours BEFORE they isolated themselves to pass asking for kisses and pets and snuggles from their human family members.

As far as I can tell, dogs love unconditionally, even those of us humans who maybe don’t deserve it. And so it makes 100% sense to me, as a dog lover, that my dogs all got really snuggly at some point near the very end of their lives. They want to make absolutely sure that you know that you are loved before they are forced to leave you.

If your dog is spending lots of time gazing at you with adoration, snuggling into your lap, or doing his best to request a belly rub given his limited movements, you might see that as a warning sign.

What You Can Do for Your Dog If You Think She’s Dying

First, make sure that’s what is going on. Calling your veterinarian and telling him or her all about everything you’ve observed is your first priority. You will want to know if a recent change in medication or technique could have caused these symptoms — and if so, there might be something they can do for her to get her through this period so she can recover.

Before you call in, make a list of everything you’ve seen and heard, and your general impressions of your dog, so you don’t forget anything. The nurse or tech who answers the phone will be able to help you, or have the veterinarian call you back and discuss.

Getting medical advice at this stage is really important. If there is something that can be done, they’ll advise you about what it is, and what the chances of it helping are. And if not, they might still be helpful — sometimes an overnight stay at the hospital can help both with pain management and “hospice” care, if that’s necessary.

But then, there are definitely things you can do at home to help your dog. These all can help to alleviate pain and really up the quality of life he’s feeling right now. For more detail on each of these, please see the chapter of “End of Life Choices and Care” in The Dog Cancer Survival Guide.

Hydration

For dehydration, aim to get about one ounce of water per pound of body weight into your dog over a 24-hour period. For example, if your dog is 10 pounds, you want to give about 10 ounces of water.

If he won’t drink out of a bowl, you can try squirting a turkey baster filled with water into his mouth. You can also use other fluids, like low-sodium chicken or beef broth, soup, or even tea. But if he refuses to drink, or hates the baster method, there’s not a lot you can do to force the issue.

In this case, ask your veterinarian for “subcutaneous fluids” to give at home, along with detailed instructions about how to inject them under the skin.

Appetite

If your pup hasn’t eaten in over a day, and you’ve done everything you can think of in Susan’s article, throw out all the rules you’ve learned about what to feed a dog with cancer.

High-carb? Fine! Hot dog packed with nitrates and nitrites? Terrific! If your dog hasn’t eaten in a few days, ANYTHING she eats is lovely.

Offer anything that isn’t toxic (no onions, grapes, raisins, chocolate). Anything that tempts her to take a bite is PERFECT, and an important life quality “treatment.” Our dog Maui, when she was dying, loved angel food cake. (And we loved feeding it to her.)

Safety

If your dog is really wobbly, try to keep him in a quiet, comfortable place that is safe. Remove any furniture or objects that he might knock over, and pad hard surfaces anyway you can.

Cleanliness

Cleanliness is really important to your dog, as it is to us humans. So if she’s soiling herself, give her a gentle sponge bath with lukewarm (not cold, not really warm, certainly not hot) water as soon as you can. Keeping her clean and dry will help her to feel comfortable and keep her from developing bed sores.

Bed Sores

Lying in one spot can cause bed sores, little ulcers where skin is rubbed raw from the pressure of the body. This is particularly important for large breeds.

Keeping your pup on a thickly padded surface and rotating him gently from side to side is a good idea. While you do this, gently look for sores that are developing so you can care for them right away if you see them.

Also, keep in mind that you don’t want to “twist” your dog as you move him. If he hasn’t turned himself over in a six-hour period, gently gather all four of his paws to his belly, roll him to his front, and then on to his other side. (Don’t roll him onto his back — it’s dangerous, especially to large breed dogs, who are prone to get a “twisted stomach” this way.)

Pain Management

Pain management might be in order, particularly if you notice panting, a possible sign of pain. There are many pain meds your veterinarian might want to prescribe, based on your dog’s specific case, so don’t be afraid to ask.

This is also a time when something like CBD oil might be warranted, for comfort at the end of life. Discuss this with your veterinarian, if you’re interested, because laws vary by state, and not every veterinarian is comfortable prescribing or using something that is still illegal at the federal level. (And I refuse to get on my soapbox about this, but let’s just say I wish scientists had the opportunity to study this.)

Life Quality!

Focus on total, 100%, super-awesome life quality tailored to YOUR dog.

You know your dog best — what does she like? Is there a favorite toy you can get for her to snuggle with or gnaw on? Is there a special treat? Does she adore fresh air?

When our dog Maui was in her last days, I bought a pack ‘n play for her, filled it with her favorite dog bed, toys, and snugglies, and put it outside in a shady spot. We also carried her in our arms and gently walked up and down her favorite beach. I can’t prove it, but I know it’s true: being outside and feeling the sunshine and fresh air, and smelling her favorite beachy smells, made her happier.

So did getting groomed. The day before Maui died, our mobile groomer appeared at the door. It was an appointment we’d made a month earlier, and forgotten to cancel as we took care of Maui in her last days. We assumed Maui wouldn’t want to make the effort to get up and get groomed, but when she heard Allyson’s voice, her tail thumped and she raised her head, and she even walked to the top of the steps to greet her. When we listened carefully, and observed her obvious positive response to Allyson, we “knew” she wanted to get groomed. Allyson’s tender care for her in her last hours was a miracle. Maui always loved being groomed, and it truly ended up being one of the “life quality treatments” we applied at the end of her life.

Manage Your Grief

OK, this one is hard, but it’s really important. While you care for your dog at this last stage of his life, try hard not to break down in front of him. Dogs pick up on our emotions, and whatever you are feeling he is likely feeling, too. So try to stay in a warm, loving, attentive, close, intimate frame of mind. Leave the harsh, ugly crying for later, or go somewhere else to do it.

It’s a terrible burden, to watch a loved one die. It can be really hard, and for some, it’s totally devastating. But if you can keep breathing, and keep your heart open to how much love there is between you and your dog, you’ll be doing a deep and great service to your pup.

And somehow, I know he’ll be grateful to you.

Which brings me to the last thing I wanted to tell you.

Be Gentle, and Loving, with Yourself, Too.

Good grief, it’s hard to lose a dog. And maybe even harder is knowing you’re about to lose your dog — that it’s going to happen soon, but who knows when. That limbo feeling can complicate our decision making and terrorize our minds. We might not feel right about eating ourselves, or sleeping, or going to work, or even taking a shower.

So acknowledge to yourself that you’re going through a really tough time, and that YOU need care, too. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that no amount of money, time, or energy can insulate us from heartbreak. Whether you are in a situation where you can’t afford pain meds, or need to euthanize, or can’t afford to miss work to be with your dogs — or whether you have all the time and money you need — you’re going through a devastating loss.

So do what you need to do to care for yourself, too. Get support. Talk to friends and family members, or a pastor or counselor. I personally advise NOT talking to people who aren’t dog lovers — some folks simply do not understand the bond that can form between us and our dogs. The last thing you need to hear right now is “it’s just a dog.”

If you’re a reader of The Dog Cancer Survival Guide, I highly recommend the Facebook support group. (Email us using the contact us page to get details on how to join that private group.) Having fellow travelers take a moment or two to post messages of love and support can be very healing. They can also be really helpful at “trouble-shooting” your end of life care for your dog.

In addition to reaching out for emotional support, I also recommend a few time-tested comfort measures. The following came highly recommended by my grandmothers and grandfathers, and my great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers (I am so lucky to have known so many!):

Get as much sleep as possible. Now is not the time to pull all-nighters if you don’t have to. Go to bed when you are tired, and if you can nap, do it.

Make sure YOU are eating and drinking. Your dog does not benefit from you being weak and hangry.

Take a shower. Everything seems more manageable when you are fresh and clean.

Take care with your dress and grooming. My grammy used to say “I wear lipstick because I feel better.” You don’t have to wear lipstick, but sometimes feeling “dressed” — whatever that means to you — helps you to face the world.

Breathe deeply. Constantly. When stressed, we often hold our breath, which just keeps our brains from working well. Better to add breath to any stressful situation than take it away.

Have tea. Any kind is comforting, but herbal teas in particular can be very therapeutic.

If you have a diffuser, diffusing essential oils can be really helpful to both you and your dog. Amber Drake really likes lavender oil, and so do I.

Eat soups. They are warm and comforting, and broth can be very nutritious, and quickly absorbed, so you get “instant” food.

Cry when you need to. Give yourself breaks to let out your grief, at least a little. It helps to rid the body of stress hormones.

Dark chocolate is a great way to reduce stress hormones and “treat” yourself. (My grandmothers all thought so — now science backs them up!)

I’m going to give the last word to one of the wise readers who contributed a “true tail” to The Dog Cancer Survival Guide. Here are some words of wisdom from someone who’s been where you are:

Let Outcomes Unfold

“Deal with it one day/ step at a time, and don’t jump ahead. Let outcomes unfold, rather than focusing on the worst case scenario. Don’t beat up on yourself.You did not cause your dog’s cancer. Don’t try to be brave. If you need to cry or do hours of research or watch action movies to feel better, go for it. If not, just love your dog. Don’t waste any energy on things you can’t do anything about. Use your energy to help your dog. Have courage when making the decisions you will have to for your dog’s well-being. Some will be hard, but if you keep the focus on giving your dog the best quality of life possible, they will be easier.”

– Susan McKay,Winnipeg, Manitoba

I don’t know you, but I feel your pain if you are reading this. I wish you the very best, and thank you, personally, for loving your dog so much that you ended up here, reading this article.

If you have anything to add, please share your story in a comment. Believe me, future readers want to hear from all of us who love and lost our dogs.

Many blessings,

Molly Jacobson

Editor, The Dog Cancer Survival Guide