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#'haha these people were so STUPID. they believed in gods that turn into swans and stuff'
solvicrafts · 7 months
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What gets me about certain people being so fucking pissy about Bob not writing much about Eilistraee (until the last fucking trilogy where EIlistraeans featured heavily) is that
a) Bob basically built drow culture up from almost nothing, and Eilistraee came after he started writing Drizzt
b) no you guys really don't understand. I own the first 4 modules drow appeared in. There's... not much there. And it hasn't aged well.
c) and the Big One: he has a specific vision for his specific characters when it comes to the narrative he wants to explore, from sexual abuse to religious trauma, both of which are fucking complicated and for most people just switching deities isn't enough to fix that.
I have religious trauma that I still struggle with to this day and probably will for the rest of my life to some extent, and it's fundamentally different in nature from what most people would probably expect, and the thing is even though I am happily polytheistic and very enthusiastically into it, I still struggle a lot with certain things because every time I get into my religious practice I have to actively force myself into (or out of) certain things because my whole relationship to religion and spirituality is complicated and messy.
It would be easy and frankly incredibly superficial for Bob to decide to just have them all convert to half-assed Neowiccan ~woo~ drow Jesus Eilistraee to *~*save their souls*~* and call it a day
BUT HE DIDN'T DO THAT
Partly because she wasn't his creation and other authors were writing her at the time so he really couldn't, and partly because it's a shitty message to send.
Sometimes people benefit from converting to a new religion or following a new deity. Sometimes people don't.
I benefited from gradually converting to my religion, but it's come with a whole different set of complications and hasn't been a smooth journey for me.
Just going from extensive religious trauma to switching deities does not fix your problems, and for a lot of people it realistically can make them much worse.
but also
you don't have to be saved by a deity in order to have value as a person
#I fucking WAS saved by a deity and while I'm grateful it wasn't an easy ride#and in fact the way certain people in my family treated me was very emotionally abusive#to this fucking day on a journey that's taken me 19 years I STILL have issues with this whole thing#there are some people I may never speak to again because of how they treated me over this#for a Lolthite drow I could easily see them struggling with switching to a new deity especially one like Eilistraee or Vhaeraun#who are NOT seen very positively at all in the society they were raised in#and for a lot of people the fear of being found out and punished is more than enough to prevent them from seeking out a new deity#to say nothing of the already existing religious trauma that would also just as likely make someone hesitate to embrace a new religion#and speaking AS a religious person I do not at all agree with sending the message that traumatize people need to be saved by a god#or by a religious fanatic#my case is extremely unique and while it more or less worked out in the end it was frankly hellish at its worst points#and it cost me a great deal in terms of my relationships with my family and my ability to trust other people#because the way society frames belief in the Greek gods as some distant thing in time like#'haha these people were so STUPID. they believed in gods that turn into swans and stuff'#has absolutely led to a situation where paganism is only cool and okay if it's the woo crystals and sage Neowiccan aesthetic#but actually being a historically based polytheist is conflated with mental illness#and it's damn near impossible to challenge when most modern people have NO understanding of polytheism and take everything literally#as someone who has had to FIGHT just to continue EXISTING as a polytheist I am still FIRMLY against the idea that people NEED religion#in order to have value as people or to heal#yes for SOME people it works. for others it doesn't. AND THAT'S OKAY
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justanoutlawfic · 6 years
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1. soulmates au Maiden Swan :)
I kinda got carried away with this, haha. A canon divergence of both The New Neverland and There’s No Place Like Home.
Also on AO3
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Emma lingered in the doorway of the convent. She feltstupid. They had just gotten back from Neverland and Pan’s shadow was defeated.This was hardly the time to be thinking about her love life, but there was thisnagging feeling in the back of her head. She didn’t know what she should do.Neal had asked her out on a date and Killian was clearly also willing to pursueher. She wasn’t used to so many men being interested in an actual long term relationshipwith her.
She had overheard Tink and Regina in Neverland. Reginahad been lead to her soulmate, but she had been too scared to go in and make amove. Emma didn’t want to be scared, she just wanted to know. Blue was being abit better with the use of pixie dust and Emma knew she wouldn’t be putting Tinkat risk…so she had come to get answers.
Walking into the convent, she found Tink unpacking herfew items. She looked up and grinned. “Hello, Emma.”
“Hey.” Emma bounced on the back of her heels, looking aroundthe room. “So…you’re gonna live here now?”
“For now, just until I can get my own place.” She paused.“Something tells me you’re not here to discuss living arrangements.”
“It’s just…maybe this is silly…I just heard what youdid for Regina back in the Enchanted Forest.”
Tink frowned. “I’ve tried to search for him here, butI never saw his face, just his tattoo.”
“I understand and while I’d like to help Regina…God, Isound so selfish right now.”
A slow smileformed across Tink’s face. “You want to know who your soulmate is as well?”
Emma slowly nodded. “Well…yes. I’m trying to sort everythingout in my head and maybe this would help.”
“Knowing who your soulmate is could add even more pressure.Just because your soulmates, doesn’t mean true love you know.”
“I know, I know. I think I just need to try.”
Tink’s smile widened. “Well, I do think it’d be a bitawkward if we flew around Storybrooke together. The guys might suspectsomething was up. However, there is another way.”
She lead Emma out of her room and over to where they wereharvesting the new pixie dust that had been found in the mines. She grabbed amirror from the shelves and then sprinkled some pixie dust on it.
“When you look into this, your reflection will insteadbe your soulmate.”
Emma took the mirror from her, shutting her eyes. Thiswas it, the person she was meant to be with. All of the confusing thoughts inher head, the words both men had been slinging at her, hopefully it’d all makesense as soon as she looked into the mirror.
Her eyes flickered open and she watched as the dust swarmedaround. Things were a bit cloudy at first, until she saw a picture of a woman. Shehad tan skin and thick dark locks, with matching eyes. This wasn’t Killian or Neal.More importantly, Emma had never seen her before. She frowned and Tink movedbeside her.
“Well, who is that?”
“I have no idea. I’ve never seen her around herebefore.”
“Well, some people are stuck in different realms…perhaps…”
“Perhaps this was all for nothing.” She saw the disappointedlook on Tink’s face. “It’s not your fault, Tinkerbell, I promise. Obviously myhappy ending isn’t a man and that’s okay. It’s just obviously not with anyonebut my family.”
Emma handed Tink the mirror back and left the convent.Her own disappointment was soon distracted by the realization that her son wasn’treally her son. Within hours, she’d be driving over the town line, forgetting thelife she had known for the past 11 years. It wouldn’t be for another year thatshe’d remember her real life.
She told Killian it was like waking up from a reallygood dream and she was right. She could pretend like she was happy back then,with her son, a boyfriend that treated her great. Then, one knock on the doorfrom a pirate later and she realized that none of the memories she had ofraising Henry were real and her boyfriend was a flying monkey, sent to killher.
What she would give to go back to just a few weeksbefore then, at least that was what she thought. After the curse broke and herlittle brother was born, she found herself being pulled through a portal withKillian. She was brought to the past, with her mother on the run and her fathermasquerading as a prince. A few wrong moves later and she ended up in Regina’sprison.
The guard tossed her into her cell and she fell to thefloor with a thud. She groaned and slowly sat up, suddenly hearing a femininevoice from the cell next to her.
“Are you alright?”
Emma brushed herself off, shaking her head. “Yeah, Ithink so, thanks.” She tried to peer through the bars to see the person on theother side better, but she was hard to make out. “I’m…Leia,” she remindedherself to use her alias as she held onto the bars for support to stand.
“I wish I could say it’s nice to meet you,” the womanreplied, sounding bitter.
Emma could still feel the pain running through herbody, which made her voice ragged as she gave a weak chuckle. “Given thecircumstances, I get it.”
As she looked closer through the bars, she tilted herhead. That face, she had seen it before somewhere. Perhaps on the streets ofStorybrooke in passing? She was still getting to know everyone.
“You hungry?” Emma asked, having a feeling that thepast version of Regina wasn’t the type to feed her prisoners. She reached intoher cloak and pulled out a roll. “I snuck it off a tray on my way down here.”
The woman rose to her feet and walked closer to her.She accepted the roll through the metal bars and looked at Emma gratefully. Itwas then that she could see her eyes and Emma was brought back to the realreason she remembered her.
She was the girl in the mirror, her…her soulmate.
It couldn’t be. She had given up on finding her, therewere more important things to worry about. Yet, there she was, right in front ofher. Her heart summersaulted and she swallowed.
The woman raised an eyebrow. “What?”
Emma had to think on her feet. “I…I saw you earlier. Iwanted to help…”
“It’s fine. If you had done it, you would’ve ended upin here sooner.”
“What…what did she put you in here for?”
“I knew where Snow White was hiding, but I refused totell the queen.”
“You gave up your freedom to save Snow White?” Sheasked in awe.
“I believe that she is innocent. I won’t let Reginawin, not if I can help it.”
Emma felt herself slowly starting to smile. This womanbelieved in her mother, she was protecting her. It was a selfless act and itwould be one that would be one of the reasons why Emma came into existence…ifshe didn’t screw everything up in the meantime.
It didn’t take Emma long to hatch an escape plan. Sheused the wooden spoons to get the lock opened (all about the tumblers) and hadgotten out. She had urged her to go on without her, but Emma knew she couldn’t dothat. She couldn’t lose her soulmate, not after all this time. The woman spokeof a family, but she didn’t know what that meant.
Hook called her stupid for disrupting the timeline,but she didn’t care. She had saved the woman’s life and that was what mattered.Maybe it was selfish, but maybe they could try.
The woman was smart and she soon realized that theywere from the future. After they managed to save Snow from execution and makingsure that she started to fall in love with David, the three of them were alone.Their glamour spells were fading and she could see them for who they reallywere.
“You saved me,” She said to Emma once Hook had walkedaway. “You know this could ruin everything, so…why?”
“You’re an innocent. You were willing to give yourlife for Snow White.” She gnawed on her lower lip. “And maybe another part ofit was selfish.”
“Hmm?”
“I…and this will sound silly, but I once spoke to afairy. I asked her to show me my soulmate and she did….it was you.”
The woman’s mouth opened and then closed. “What’s yourname? Your real name?”
“I don’t know if it’s safe…”
“I already know what you really look like.”
“Emma.”
“Emma, you saved my life and for that, I’m foreverindebted to you. However, I have a family to get back to…a child…” Emma couldsee the look of doubt in the woman’s eye, almost as if she wondered if she wasmaking the right choice with her next words. “A husband.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t know, maybe the mirror was wrong, maybe youhave me confused with someone…”
“Maybe. Look, um…just be careful. Regina will be onthe lookout for you.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out some other jewelsshe had stolen from her father’s carriage without him noticing. “Trade thesefor a passage out of here.”
“Thank you, Emma.”
As she started to walk away, Emma called after her. “Hey!”
She turned around. “Yes?”
“What’s your name?”
The woman softly smiled. “Marian.”
Emma watched her walk away, her heart sinking in herchest. She tried to remind herself that if they were truly meant to be, they’dfind a way. After all, Regina and Robin had figured it out, after all thoseyears. Even if it didn’t work out, she’d be okay. She knew what she was goinghome to: her family. She would never let her parents go again.
Soon, she and Hook were back in Storybrooke. After reunitingwith her parents, Emma began to look through the book to see what had changed.It mostly just seemed to be the origins of her parents’ relationships, until shereached the story of Robin and Maid Marian. The pictures were a bit familiarand it slowly began to dawn on her.
Marian…Maid Marian.
Oh, God. What had she done?
However, when she turned around to look, Robin andRegina were standing close together, flirting more than ever. Emma’s eyesdrifted back to the book and she flipped forward a few pages, finding the uniqueend to the tale of Robin Hood. While he and Marian had agreed to raise theirson together, Marian had revealed to him that she had feelings for women. Ithad been a hard adjustment, but they had gotten there in time.
“Emma?”
Emma’s head snapped up and she turned around to findMarian standing there. Rather than the cloak and rundown dress from the EnchantedForest, she was wearing a light yellow dress, her hair tied back in a ponytail.
“Marian,” she whispered.
“It’s you, the one that saved me all those years ago.”
Emma smiled. “I did.”
“Things were a lot different back then…”
“I see they’ve changed, though,” she interrupted,gesturing to the book.
“Would you like a drink?”
“I’d love that.”
SEND ME A SHIP AND A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A SHORT FIC
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foreverfallen · 5 years
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SPN questionnaire
I was tagged by no one. I just saw it on the dash and wanted to do it. 
***
1. When did you start watching Supernatural? From the pilot episode when it started airing. So this show has been in my life for 14 years. My dad, brother, and I used to watch Smallville together, Jensen was on there, I knew he was going to this new show, Supernatural (and I saw the advertisements for it and it looked good, etc.) so what do you know, I followed over and have been watching ever since. 
2. Who is your favorite in TFW? Really, it started out Dean, but has morphed into Sam over the seasons. 
3. Who is your least favorite in TFW? Process of elimination leaves me with choosing Castiel for this, and I mean, I liked Cas a lot in the earlier seasons. Not so much when he became more ��comic-relief” and that’s all. 
4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs. Not gonna tag people but... those I RP with constantly--you’re my faves. Luci fans are my faves. You get the gist. 
5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)? Should be obvious, shouldn’t it? ;) I’ve loved him since season 5, okay; I’ve never stopped and I’m not going to because he’ll always be MY character. And writers are stupid. 
6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural? I really liked Ruby, actually. Then again, Lilith. If you’re asking for good guys-- Jo and Ellen, and Jody Mills. 
7. John or Mary? Papa Winchester, all the way. Mary’s awesome, don’t get me wrong, and I enjoy her but... I don’t know. John is where it’s at. 
8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack? 
First opinions? As in what I thought 14 years ago?! (In Sam and Dean’s case?) You gotta be kidding me! I’ll go with what I think I remember haha. 
Sam: Love this guy. A little too angsty, a little dramatic, perfect bitch-face. A+ on the little brother attitude, though. (And like I already said, definitely became my fave of the two over the seasons.)  
Dean: Originally got me watching the show. Attitude is great. Lots of trauma and just the kinda character I connect with. Badass. Again with the A+ on the sibling level. 
Cas: Badass angel in the house! We’re talking angels now, awesome! Bring on the apocalypse! (Seriously I loved Cas-the-angel-soldier in the beginning. The badass. His intro remains one of my faves.) 
Jack: Must. Protect. The. Precious. 
9. What’s your favorite season? There’s aspects of pretty much all I enjoy, but season 5. Hands down for me, season 5. 
10. What’s your least favorite season? Probably one of these later ones because of certain character butchering. Or one of those just after 5 (circa 6-7 or so? It’s a little hazy) where they were trying to find their feet again after the end of the initial apocalyptic arc. And you can tell the writing is more choppy and it doesn’t flow as prettily. 
11. Opinions on Destiel? Ship it? Sure, why not. Not a hardcore shipper, mind you but if the show ever decided to turn it to beyond a friendship, I wouldn’t be opposed. It’s one of those, the signs to see it are there, so see what you want, ship what you want--but let others do the same; that’s my philosophy. (So yeah, sometimes the fandom turns me off but the ship itself? I don’t have a problem with it.) 
12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits? I think every show has done that to certain extent, or it’s one of those “you see what you wanna see” kinda thing, through rose colored glasses. I don’t feel anyone does it intentionally harmfully, but... yeah, there’s the possibility of some times where it’s more overt, the “signs” being read a certain way, never to be panned out or done anything with, so... I can see the argument. (Sorry, bad experiences in other fandoms with this.) 
13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14? Considering I remember 1-7 more (as in specific episodes and details and the other are more... hazy in my mind)? I’ve gotta go with 1-7. Or, more specifically, 1-5 ;) 
14. Favorite villain (plot wise)? See, the ones that I could put here, I don’t consider villains. Not in the whole sense. Lucifer, Crowley, Amara... They either almost turned heroic or got shafted in some way (through writing or what have you). Lilith? Or, no, let’s go old school, let’s go with Azazel. ;) 
15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line? Depends. I love seeing him on my screen, yes. Are they going to keep butchering his character? Making him someone he’s not? Then let it rest and leave it up to certain members of fandom to love and appreciate the archangels that the silly show never did! Thank you and goodnight. 
16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)? I’d probably have to say Dean. Sam has had severe moments yes, but I think Dean might win on this one. And even though Cas has outlived them for like... ever, he’s not really lived through anything greatly traumatic for all those years that we’re aware of (really?) so... Dean. 
17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode? The ones that hurt me the most. Abandon All Hope. Hammer of the Gods. Swan Song. (And yes, those are all from season 5, I’m well aware of that.) 
18. Do you like case episodes? In the beginning, yes. Nowadays... not so much? I like the big mythology ones, rather than the filler episodes, and to be honest, a completely case episode, monster-of-the-week ep seems too filler for me these days. 
19. Who do you relate most to in TFW? Aspects of Dean and Sam, really. The older sibling quality in Dean, looking after the younger, etc. But the book smarts of Sam, I relate to. So... If I could mix those two together, I’d have the perfect one. 
20. Why do you like Supernatural? This show has been a part of my life for most of my life, let’s be real. I’ve met amazing people because of it, even if some are gone (internet wise), and done amazing things. It’s a community and a way of life, really; not just a little TV show. I wouldn’t trade my experiences because of this show for anything in the world, and Supernatural is the only show that’s given that. 
21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be? Bring back the archangels (but if we’re talking humans only, then... can I say John forever?), and as far as killing off someone... I don’t know. There’s no one that really irks me enough to want to destroy completely right now... 
*I tag whoever wants to do this!*
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