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takemyopenheart · 3 years

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Think of Me (Waiting series - part 2 of 3)

summary: There are thousands of miles between Ethan and Luz—which begs the question: does absence really make the heart grow fonder?

He feels his chest constrict at the fleeting thought of her, and he shuts his eyes to let the darkness encompass him. But he knows no amount of darkness can overshadow the light that seeps in when she crosses his mind. The past seven weeks have kept him preoccupied, which is exactly what he wanted. Fighting an epidemic was front and center in his mind, but that didn’t mean he was completely void of certain memories.

His body aches from standing long hours and attending to every last patient, and he remembers one instance in which she rubbed his shoulders one night after a long shift. She sat him down between her legs and used her magic touch to massage the ache away; it was unlike anything he’d experienced. He’d argue that any professional masseuse couldn’t hold a candle to Luz. How he would give anything to feel her intoxicatingly soothing caresses...

No. Snap out of it.

If anyone was there to physically slap the thoughts away, he would certainly allow it. Raking his hand through his hair, he bolts for the bathroom to splash cold water over his face. A chill runs through him as the coolness hits his face, and he slouches over, holding both sides of the sink as he takes in deep breaths. His shoulders rise and fall with each breath, and he looks up into the mirror.

The shadows under his eyes are darker than ever, his frown lines are deeper, his stubble has grown. It’s a reflection he’s grown accustomed to in the past month. He rarely wants to sleep, there’s no time for that when people need him. But it’s no wonder his colleagues forced him to take the day off. He finally realized they were right in that he needed to take a recess if he wanted to be in tip-top shape for the ongoing battle they were up against. Doctors need breaks too, he was just often too stubborn to recognize that.

He wonders if she knows where he is—if Naveen’s shared the news by now. If she’s thinking of him like he is thinking of her. Whether she hates him now for not saying goodbye.

This is the exact reason why he protested his colleagues’ advice; he’s become his own worst enemy. Any time he’s alone with his thoughts, there’s only one name, one face, and one voice that invades his mind.

No amount of distraction, time, or distance can erase the memories of her, and it’s a realization that scares him to death. He’s fallen—he’s fallen deep, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to get out. He had to be honest with himself; the main reason he left had to do with her.

The loud groan that escapes him is the only sound in the room, and beyond, it seems. It’s been a quiet night for the most part. The droplets of water continue falling down his face, his now-dampened shirt, and onto the floor. He catches his reflection again; it’s a depressing sight. How pathetic has he become? His resolve comes back at once.

Of course he’ll get out of it. He won’t let anything—especially anyone—affect his psyche. Any intimate feelings are just neurochemical responses to heightened stress and frequent exposure to each other. It’s what he’s always told himself. It makes perfect sense.

Everything he’s been through with Luz, and how she got involved with Naveen’s case is further evidence that supports his theory. It’s no surprise they grew close. She was there during his worst...and never gave up on him. It’s not something he’s used to...she saw him for who he was...she got to know parts of him he never dared show anyone...and she accepted him...

He suddenly, and forcefully, grabs the towel beside him to dry himself and the small puddle that has formed by his feet. His knees ache as he bends down, but he ignores the pain. After shutting the bathroom light off, he sits on the edge of the bed again. The night is silent and still, it’s an atmosphere so foreign to him now. It’s been anything but silent from the moment he arrived in the Amazon and got ready to work.

The pen from the patient file he’d been working on lays next to the alarm clock on the nightstand. Another thought soon rushes its way into his head again, and without thinking twice, he grabs it and opens the drawer for the notebook inside.

He opens the notebook to an empty page. He slips his glasses on and fiddles with the pen, almost building up the courage for what he’s about to write. She’s waiting to hear from you...give her an explanation.

He shakes the uncertainty away and begins writing.

‘Dear Luz,

I know what you’re thinking. Why now? Why this way? What a coward. Even if you don’t think so, it’s the only word that adequately sums up how I’ve been feeling since I left. Nothing I say will ever be enough to eradicate the hurt I know I’ve caused you. And I will never forgive myself for that. I couldn’t face you. I’m used to running, but you know me well enough by now that you’ve probably already figured that out.

Without you, I don’t know where Naveen would be. Or where I would be. You were, no, you are nothing short of incredible. Naveen’s revitalized health is proof of the amazing doctor that you are. And that brings me to my next point.

I don’t regret what we had. I care about you, please don’t believe otherwise. Which is why we both know this can’t continue. We can’t let anything hinder your full potential. Your career is too important. You matter too much. I won’t be the burden that gets in the way of that. We need to restart. Perhaps I’m going about this the wrong way, but I just couldn’t say goodbye.

You deserve all the happiness in the world. I’m sorry that can’t be with me. I hope you understand. I never thought I’d meet someone like you, but I don’t deserve you. Someone who won’t run will be worthy of you. Thank you for all you’ve done, I won’t ever forget it. Continue being the amazing woman that you are. Thank you for the time we had. I’ll cherish it.’

His hand halts, and he rubs his stinging eyes. The words on the paper appear blurry, his eyes refusing to allow them to come into focus. He adjusts his glasses on again, and the first word his gaze lands on is ‘coward’. He lets out a humorless laugh. ‘Damn right I am’, he thinks to himself.

The word embodies him further as he suddenly tears the page out of the notebook and rips it in half, before haphazardly tossing the crumpled paper across the room.

‘And that’s all I’ll ever be.’

•

Nearly 5,000 miles away, Luz sits in the once-familiar living room. She turns to the smiling face beside her, taking in the smile she’s missed so much. It’s been a long time since she’s seen him. Too long, and she feels so much contentment being near him. Her heart is full; there’s nowhere else she’d rather be.

This is what she needed. To move past everything she’s been through this past month. And to do that, there was no better place than California. The place she used to call home. And to surround herself with the people whom she’s missed beyond belief since moving to Boston.

He puts his arm around her just before the camera flashes. Their smiles are wide and sincere. It’s a perfect moment to capture the happy Beltrán reunion.

"Okay, ahora it’s our turn!" Elena Beltrán chirps before rushing over to sit in between her two kids. "Ven, mi amor. Siéntate con nosotros. (Come here, my love, and sit with us) We need a picture. All four of us," she calls out to her husband, Jorge.

He places the phone on the fireplace mantel and comes to sit on the couch for another impromptu picture. He sits next to his youngest, who’s come home for the weekend from Boston just to see them. He and his wife couldn’t contain their joy that she’d be visiting just before their son, Sebastián, was to move to Oregon. It meant they’d all be together—a rare occurrence since Luz moved to the East Coast.

The camera flashes again. Luz’s cheeks feel like they’re about ready to burst from the permanent smile that’s been planted on her face since the moment she rushed into her family’s arms.

They’re just glad to see her content. From what they understood, she had been going through some things in her personal life that she needed to get away from for a while. She was open with them regarding her involvement with her colleague and boss Ethan Ramsey. They were aware that they’d grown close while working on a case together.

For years, he was someone she admired. So much so, that his research was the reason she applied to medical school. Ethan had made an important impact on her life. She never divulged just how close they’d grown, but if he was the reason she needed to get away from Boston, they knew it had probably become a close relationship. They never judged her for it. She was a smart woman. But sometimes you can’t help what your heart feels.

"Now, you two kids prepare for a feast. Mami and I will be in the kitchen, you two just make yourselves comfortable," Jorge says as he and Elena make their way to the kitchen.

Luz makes to stand. "Dad, no way. I’m helping—"

"Mija, sit down. We got this. You just got home from a long flight. I won’t take no for an answer," he says sternly, but with a warm expression on his face.

She slumps down on the couch, watching her dad gesturing for her and Sebastián to stay put. She can’t help but smile at his insistence to take care of them. It’s always been this way when she and her brother are home.

Sebastián turns to her, grinning from ear to ear. "It’s good to see you, sis. I didn’t think we’d see you till December."

"I didn’t either. But, really, I’m just here to annoy you," she jokes, though the smile doesn’t fully reach her eyes. Bash knows his little sister is trying to distract herself from whatever went down between her and that Ramsey guy. He can’t help but feel some resentment toward him for breaking her heart.

"Want me to kick his ass?"

"No, Bash. I’m better, I promise. I just needed a little break." She sighs, though she quickly covers it and stands on her feet. "Come on, let’s sneak up on mami and papi!"

Sebastián watches her tiptoe her way toward the kitchen and lift a finger to her lips to keep him quiet. He huffs out a laugh and decides to follow her. This quickly takes them back to the time they would sneak around every Christmas night to catch a glimpse of Santa Claus.

Jorge and Elena are too preoccupied getting the champurrado just right to notice their two kids crouched down behind the island.

"I see you," Jorge calls out with a soft laugh and a shake of his head.

"Dammit," Luz mumbles.

"Not as stealthy as once before, sis." Sebastián chortles, and they spring up from behind their hiding place.

"Anyway, I thought I told you kids to stay away," Jorge reminds them.

"Well, I’m helping anyway. Bash can laze about, but I’m helping, whether you like it or not." Luz remains adamant and takes the spoon from her mom to begin stirring the champurrado.

"Mom, dad, why don’t Luz and I take over. You two go sit down this time—"

"Yeah, go make-out or something. We got this." Her lips curve into a beaming smile

Sebastián grimaces in disgust, and Elena and Jorge laugh to themselves before stepping aside to allow them space. He begins shooing them away. "Go, go. We won’t poison you, we promise. Or at least I won’t. Can’t say the same about Luz."

"Hey!" she retorts with a frown before playfully giving him a shove.

"We trust you kids," Elena says as they make their retreat. And with a tender smile, she stares back at the comforting scene of her two kids together under the same roof, bickering like old times.

"And don’t you forget it! Come on, Bash, help me with the lemon bars while I continue stirring this," Luz instructs, and they get to work.

Being in the kitchen she grew up in fills her heart with the joy she’s missed these past few weeks. She’ll open up to her family eventually, all she wants to do right now is focus on the here and now.

It’s true what they always say: there’s no place like home.

•

Thanks for reading! Ily💗

•

@openheartfanfics

#ethan ramsey #open heart #Ethan x Luz #old fic from deleted blog #ethan ramsey fanfiction

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journal-of-an-outlaw · 4 years

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Price to be Paid - Chapter 31

Wahoo my favorite chapter, read on AO3

The bliss from your wedding could only last so long, and you knew that, but it didn’t lessen the blow when things had to return to normal.

“This is it, Dutch, our last big score!”

Hosea had poured over a map of Saint Denis for days mapping every possible route into the bank, the job Dutch claimed over and over was going to save the gang.

“I’m telling you, this is the way to do the job. The best way! The distraction will buy you all the time you need.”

Arthur groaned from underneath you. You had fallen asleep in the morning sun and the voices from downstairs carried far too much for your liking, waking you up to the harsh light of day.

“All they talk about lately is that damn job,” Arthur muttered. “If I heard ‘Saint Denis bank’ one more time I am going to lose it.”

“Arthur!” Dutch yelled from the bottom of the stairs. “Get down here, we need your help with this.”

The past few weeks since your wedding had been as blissful as they could when you lived with a large group of people on the run from the law. You and Arthur had enjoyed many free days where no one asked a thing of you. The lake was the perfect spot for picnics and more than once Arthur had suggested you slip away and relax at the water side. It was perfect and everything you could hope it would be.

But all good things had to end.

“I’m coming! Arthur hollered back. He groaned as he sat up and you decided it was best to greet the day as well.

“You know they trust you, that’s what they’re trying to say,” you spoke as you dressed.

“They sure have a strange way of showing it.”

You were quick to follow Arthur down the stairs, greeting folks as they passed. Most were still rubbing the sleep from their eyes or drinking a cup of coffee.

“I...I don’t like it.”

Dutch’s hesitation was palpable. For days he had been telling Hosea something about this job felt off, his intuition saying this was not the way. It struck you as odd because Dutch had been searching for one more score, one big was out and when presented with the idea he shrugged it off.

You leaned against the doorframe watching Arthur approach the bickering old men. They went back and forth, agreeing and disagreeing about the best way to proceed.

“It’s the right plan. We’ve done the work. I’ve been in town, looking, watching and waiting. I’ve tested it as well as I can. It’s the right plan.”

“I know,” Dutch chucked at how worked up Hosea had become. “I know. But between us, I’m...nervous. I suppose that’s it.”

Hosea placed a hand on Dutch’s shoulder and squeezed. “You’re never nervous, that’s been my job all these years.”

It was clear Hosea was leading this robbery. He had timed the whole operation out and wanted it to move like clockwork, each cog and arm greased up and ready to go. You could see a younger man shining through; one who spent days and weeks putting heists together, using each member of the gang in s specific sequence so everything would be just right.

As the three men got to talking, Micah walked in and watched behind you. It was unpleasant to have him over your shoulder but you remembered your vow to keep the peace with him as best you could.

“What’re they planning in there?”

“Bank job. Last one to get us out of here,” you responded softly.

“The big bank? In Saint Denis?” Micah scoffed. “That’s one lofty goal for our ragtag crew, don’t you think?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, Hosea has it all planned out. What could go wrong?”

“Oh, girlie, there’s plenty could go wrong. But let’s hope none of it does and we make out on top.” Micah shot you a wink that made you shutter and walked back out the front doors, taking off for somewhere or something in town.

“Every plan is a good plan if we execute it properly. Every problem we ever had was because we did not execute properly.”

Hosea spoke impassioned. He needed Dutch to see he was right.

“You’re right.” Dutch stood dramatically and looked between his lifelong partners in crime. “Let’s rob this bastard. We’ll leave tomorrow morning. Look smart. Travel light.”

The leader passed you with a half smile before going to track down Mrs. Grimshaw and Pearson to tell them of the new plan. At least we had some notice this time and didn’t have to throw everything around in a hurry.

Arthur asked you to help clean the room and you packed together, chatting to keep the nerves away. There had been a moment where he wanted you to go with Hosea and stay away from the action but you refused; if your husband was going in so were you. He didn’t fight you on that very long.

The thought of leaving Shady Belle filled you with melancholy. It was strange to think that one building could hold so many memories from just a short time. The gang really hadn’t been there that long but they had managed to make a lasting impact that could be seen as you walked the halls for one of the last times. You had to look forward; things would be better. How much more suffering and pain could one group take?

You found Abigail playing outside with Jack later in the evening, staring up at the night sky and admiring the stars. You plopped down next to her and tilted your own head back, thinking about the heavens.

“You ever wonder if our destinies are planned?”

“I sure hope not. To think that someone put all of this together for us means we have no free will, no choice would be our own. And they would put us through all that pain!”

“Sometimes...I guess it’s just nice to think that I wasn’t the one who made all the mistakes in my life. That I could blame someone else for the way things turned out.”

Abigail spoke in hushed tones but never looked down from the sky. Her words echoed in your mind.

“Your life isn’t full of mistakes, it’s full of love.”

“Yeah,” she snorted. “Sometimes a bit too much love if you know what I mean.”

She and John had been fighting again. From your shared room with Arthur you could hear them through the walls going on about raising Jack and trying to show him a better life.

“Jack will be just fine, he’s got a lot of us who care. And so will you. You know I’ll never leave, you’ve got a friend for life.” You wrapped your arm around her shoulders and sat like that, enjoying the view and marveling at the size of the world around you.

It was hard to sleep that night.

You tossed and turned with anticipation of the next day, knowing everything would be different after the sun rose up in the sky. It could be a good change; like fire burning away the underbrush to allow for new life. Or it could be disastrous.

The dichotomy of the choices made you restless.

Arthur shook your shoulder gently that it was time to go. It was much too early, and the terrible night of sleep made it hard to drag your body from the warm bed and you tossed it a sad smile knowing it was the last time you would see the room you called home.

The look on your face must have told Arthur something for he gave your hand a squeeze after you met him at the bottom of the stairs.

“You know what?” He looked at you softly. “At the end of today, we’re going to look back and know we did everything right. We faced the day together as wife and husband. I’m never letting you go.”

With a kiss to your hand you felt your confidence rise back into place. All it needed was a boost from Arthur. Today was going to go smoothly, nothing could bring you down from the high of life you were riding.

Everyone was dressed to the nines. Fine black suits with hats for the men, and clean flowing gowns adorned every woman. It was almost as if you were headed to a Sunday mass instead of a bank robbery. Even Jack had found a flower to stick in his coat pocket.

“You got everything Arthur?” Dutch called as he handed Hosea a suitcase to load into a wagon.

Arthur nodded. “Sure, house is cleared out of everything we could grab.”

“Just think!” Hosea spoke up brightly. “Within six weeks we’ll be living life anew in a tropical idyll spending the last of our days as banana farmers?”

The plan was for Hosea and Abigail to serve as the distraction. On their wagon sat crates of dynamite that when lit, would bring enough police attention that the robbery in town wouldn’t be able to pull them all away, giving the group enough time to slip out unnoticed. Hosea had looked over the details for days on end and everyone trusted him to know this plan backwards and forwards, no small part missed.

You were riding in and acting with the robbery. At first, Arthur had asked that you go with Hosea and Abigail for they were far less likely to be caught. But to you that was out of the question. Now that you and Arthur were married you didn’t want him running off into battle alone, something you had to repeat over and over before Hosea finally relented and added you to the bank detail. It just made sense that you would be there.

With your nerves shoved to the back of your mind, you sat next to Arthur on Eclipse as Zues stamped his feet anxiously.

“Let’s get out of this god forsaken place and go rob ourselves a bank!”

A chorus of cheers rang out as the gang envisioned what life could be like after today. No more running and hiding, no more threats from the law, no more being told that their way of life was wrong or backwards, just freedom and the incredible feeling of hot sand between your toes.

You were more than ready to be out of this place.

Micah led the group up and out of Shady Belle, the horses moving much quicker than the wagons. It was slightly comical to watch a large group in impressive threads leave such a ratty and worn down home. Over the past few weeks you decided firmly that sleeping with four walls around you was a comfort you preferred.

“This is it, ladies and gentlemen! The last one.”

Dutch was gearing up for a big speech as he rode behind Micah.

“Where have we heard that one before?” John asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“What has happened to you, John? You lost all your heart.”

“I’m just trying to stay real about all of this.”

“Real!” Dutch spit. “Oh how I detest that word. So devoid of imagination.”

The group rode over the railroad tracks and your heartbeat started to pick up. This was real, you were taking part in a bank robbery. Oh if only your father could see you now. The lawman’s rebel daughter.

“How soon are we shipping out?” Micah called from somewhere ahead.

Dutch replied, “As soon as we get the passage organized. A boat down to Argentina, then another around the cape.”

“What about the money in Blackwater? We’re just gonna leave that behind?”

“Forget that, it's gone.” Dutch swiped a fly and the question away. “You all talk like it’s the only goddamned money in the world. We’re gonna take that and more, take it from the people who take it from us. This isn’t some hick town, hundred dollar operation. This is a big city bank!”

“Right,” John broke in. “With security, guards, police.”

“Hosea has done his reconnaissance, we’ve been over this.” Dutch almost sounded tired. “The plan. One last time. Hosea and Abigail will draw out the police, we go in fast and calm. John and Lenny, secure the front doors. Javier takes the side exit. Bill, Micah, YN, and Charles, control the crowd. Me and Arthur deal with the bank manager and the vault. Got it?”

Everyone agreed that they did. Most of the other women were leaving with the camp supplies and not participating, and the look Dutch gave you was not lost as he took in his crew.

Hosea reckoned they needed about fifteen minutes to set the distraction with Abigail and pull enough police and that sounded fine by Dutch. As the others rode off with the wagons, Sadie threw you a smile of encouragement and you spurred Eclipse on to keep up with the others. Nothing, not even your nerves, would hold you back from this job.

Arthur had talked about when to tell Dutch that maybe sailing to another part of the world was not in the cards for you two, but it still hadn’t come up. Before the bank job seemed a poor choice as it would only take away Dutch’s focus, so tentatively the plan was set for later. There was a lot to think about lately and that was just another worry to add to the pile.

“Everybody know the drill! We head in hard and stay calm. They won’t be expecting us. Any minor trouble, head back to camp. We’ll leave in a few days.”

Your nerves must have really been showing through as even Micah threw you a half grin. It wasn’t pleasant, but you accepted it nonetheless.

Bill and Charles rode ahead to break up the group, hoping that it wouldn't look like a giant posse riding in together. The five of you left held back a few minutes and then rode into town, through the gates of Saint Denis and into the belly of the beast. You couldn't tell if your shaking hands had more to do with being on horseback or the impending mission, but you steeled them to stay still as you moved through the streets.

Arthur pulled Zeus back and rode next to you.

“How’re you doing?”

Despite the bundle of nerves moving through your veins you had to smile. Arthur was clearly a bit worked up about the whole thing too; his words had a slight twang to them as he spoke.

“Oh, I’m fine. I remember what you taught me. Just…” you looked around and remembered the first time you marveled at Saint Denis. “What if something happens?”

“It won’t, I promise you’ll be safe. Hosea went over this so many times he knew we had to get it right.”

You nodded. You had heard him mumbling the details for days.

Before you could respond your destination came into view and your mouth went dry. Lemoyne National Bank. The imposing building stood nearly three stories high with gold and white paint covering the exterior. The sun beating down was hot and you wiped beads of sweat off your brow after hitching Eclipse up next to Arthur and Bill.

Charles made his way over. “Just wanted to say good luck. I know you’ll be fine, but...you know.”

You smiled at your friend. His words brought you comfort even though they were minimal, but knowing Charles this was the equivalent of a long speech. You patted his arm in thanks and followed the group over to Dutch.

“Foks. Robbing thieves, it ain’t no crime at all. People like this...they stole what this country could have been.” The men grunted in agreeance. “Now, act natural. Wait for Hosea to do his thing.”

As a trolley rolled slowly in front of you Arthur took your hand in his.

“Now, it ain’t too late and no one would say a thing if you decided to leave. I’ll put you on this trolley and collect you myself as soon as we’re done and we can leave; put this city behind us and head off to freedom. You just have to say the word.”

You searched Arthur’s eyes and saw nothing but love and worry. The beautiful way the blue and green and maybe in the right light grey mixed together filled you with happiness and you knew your answer before speaking. On your tiptoes, you pressed a kiss to Arthur’s cheek and beamed at him.

“You know I’m staying. I’ll be right at your side.”

Just as Arthur opened his mouth to speak the ground shook violently below you. You grabbed Arthur’s arm for support as the screams and voices rose through the city.

Dutch let out a full laugh. “I love that Hosea! He’s a true artist.”

And with that, he led the way across the road and into Lemoyne National Bank.

You pulled your mask up over your face, hands still slightly shaking. Javier whispered something before slipping around the corner to guard the side door, and on his signal Dutch burst through the bank doors, pistols drawn.

“Ladies and gentlemen! This is a hold up.”

The room was filled with screams and the bustling of shoes on the tile as you aimed your gun at the innocent folks going about their day, corralling them back into an office to be locked up and unable to disrupt the robbery in progress. Bill was stuck with a particularly loud customer, so you poked the end of your gun into his back to shut him up, shoving him into the room. You got a grunt of thanks from Bill as he locked the doors.

“Arthur! We have found the manager. Would you kindly have him open the vault?”

A man dressed in a long purple coat shook like a leaf as he twisted and turned the dial to find the correct combination. He looked around the room for any willing pair of eyes but no one was able to help, simply sneered as he pleaded silently with Arthur’s gun only inches away from his face.

The air was tense around you as John and the others patrolled the entryway. All of them were on the lookout for anything suspicious outside, any sign that this wasn’t going to work. But it had to. It simply had to; this was much too large of a show to go off with a hitch.

A loud scraping sound resonated as the vault door creaked open with the poor bank manager pulling as hard as he could. Arthur cast you a look before heading in, his brow filled with worry to get this over with as soon as possible. You sent him a small smile, hoping he could read it under your bandana, and nodded for him to go on.

Anxiety pumped through you. The bank manager stood outside and at Bill’s command called out the combination, his legs shaking from the stress. The seconds ticking away felt like hours and you wanted nothing more than to run away from all of this mess.

“We got trouble! Looks like the law.”

Your head whipped around at John’s yell. His voice was tense and Dutch ran over to get a good look at the situation with anger and fear in his eyes. The others were quickly behind him.

Everyone knew this operation had to be executed precisely. Anything short of perfection would mean failure and a real risk of death. With Hosea’s attention to detail and the way everyone knew their part Dutch had been confident this would go off without any problems. He already felt the warm, island air rustling through his hair, the grainy, hot sand beneath his feet, and the sweet, sticky mango juice bursting in his mouth. This was going to work. This had to work. Because if it didn’t, there was no way out.

Unfortunately Dutch didn’t count on your father.

“Come out! It’s over!”

No, no, no, no. Not him, not now. Your heart pounded in your chest so hard you were sure the others heard it, and at the same time your stomach dropped down to your feet. How on Earth had he found you?

John said something about Abigail but a rushing sound filled your ears and you couldn’t make it out. Everyone had pressed themselves up against the wall in cover and you did the same, hoping you would be able to act when it came down to it.

“Dutch! Get out here. Get out here now!”

A silence fell over the bank. Agent Milton walked out from behind a wagon across the street brandishing a pistol that was shoved into the back of Hosea’s head. Dutch let out a groan.

“Someone must have squealed!”

“We never should have gone after Bronte, Dutch,” John spat. His eyes were on the mother of his child just beyond his reach.

“Mr. Milton?” Dutch’s voice lost its usual silk and instead was filled with fear, cracking slightly. “Let my friend go. Or folks are gonna get shot unnecessarily.”

“Your friend? Why would I do that?” Your father’s voice was loud and full of confidence. It sent slivers of fear through your spine as your mind raced.

“C’mon, Milton!”

“It’s over! No more bargains, no more deals.”

“Mr. Milton, this is America. You can always cut a deal.”

He was reaching his finale. Your father always loved making a show of capturing ‘the bad guys’ and you knew from his stance that you were running low on time. If someone didn’t do something Hosea would be dead, the rest of you following shortly.

“Hey girly, remember way back when you and I made a deal?” Micah was standing much too close to your back for comfort and in your agitated state you tried to shake him off. This only made him mad and he grabbed your arm tightly in his grip. “You owe me, I’m cashing in. Only one way this thing and it’s with you outside of those doors while we escape.”

“What?” you asked, your mind racing and unable to comprehend his request.

“Daddy Dearest is out there about to blow us all to hell. We need a distraction and you are the golden ticket.”

You froze. Micah was asking, no, telling you to sacrifice yourself on the slim chance your father wouldn't kill you on sight. It was insanely risky, but it would give the gang and the people you had grown to love a chance, albeit slim, to get away safely. All around you were the tense faces of people who had time and time again proven they were good and loving, more than you could ever say for your own father who stood on the other side of the street with the power of the law behind him. In a way, you felt this had always been coming. Rushing towards you like a train in the night. Eventually it would have to reach its destination. Your hands shook as you realized that this might be the only plan, and you couldn’t risk the chance of your newfound family dying because you weren’t brave enough. Your father wouldn't listen to anyone else and as the seconds melted away you steeled yourself against the tide that would surely try and knock you over.

“Well?” Micah shook you impatiently.

You looked around. Dutch, Bill, Lenny, John, Javier...Arthur. These were people you would gladly sacrifice yourself for. Memories came flooding back of sitting around the campfire singing, hours spent in the fields hunting, and the times you and Abigail laughed yourselves silly. Your eyes watered at the thought of leaving, but it had to be done.

“I’ll do it,” you spoke quietly. “But I have one request.”

“And what’s that?”

Micah had started making his way to the door and Arthur, noticing you moving about, was heading towards you too. You met his eyes for a moment and you swore he knew what you were about to do. His footsteps picked up and you had to act.

Leaving him was of course the hardest. Never had you imagined a love so brilliant and bright, and knowing that you were willingly throwing it all away tore you apart. The ring on your finger felt heavy with guilt but you clutched your gun tighter until Micah tore it from your hands. Arthur opened his mouth to whisper something and you knew waiting would make it worse.

“Tell Arthur I love him.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Micah snorted and unceremoniously shoved you outside the giant bank doors before slamming them shut. Something on the other side slammed against them and you guessed it was Arthur, livid at the unexplained sight. A voice yelled something and then everything went quiet, and you looked up at the scene before you.

Hosea stood in the middle of the street covered in dust and watching you with worried eyes. He shook his head slightly, telling you to leave, but you cast him a watery smile of reassurance.

Behind him every gun held by the Pinkerton Detective agents was trained on you and ready to fire. You looked up and down the line realizing just how many there were. This had to be a set up, no one was ready that fast.

A strangled cry that turned into a laugh came from the head Detective. He took a faltering step forward, then looked at you with utter bewilderment.

“Put your guns down,” he said. The detectives looked over at him confused. “I said put them down!”

“Sir?” questioned one of the men to his side.

“Because…” Agent Milton spoke slowly, still trying to process the change in events unfolding before him.

You placed both hands up in the air and spoke with much more confidence than you felt.

“Because I’m his daughter.” You looked directly at him, taking a deep breath before saying, “Hello, Father. Good to see you.”

#price to be paid #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #fanfic #female reader

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 5 years

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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino is a divisive fellow. Love him or hate him, you have to admit, he belongs to a short list of contemporary directors who have earned true auteur status. I really really hated his last offering, The Hateful Eight, but my hopes were higher for his 9th film, Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood. This movie has everything. Leonardo DiCaprio as a washed up actor, known for playing a cowboy in a 50′s tv show; Brad Pitt as his chilled-out stunt double/errands man; Margot Robbie as the ill-fated Sharon Tate; and a combination of 60s tunes and bitchin grooves that make the summer of 1969 come alive in the way only Tarantino can achieve. There is a lot, and I mean a LOT going on here, so is this more of a cool pulp fiction classic, or a hateful way to spend an afternoon? Well...

While its pacing is definitely uneven (and definitely indulgent), I loved this movie. I loved it so so much. The atmosphere, the humor, the creeping dread, the sun-slick sticky sweet days of a California summer - it’s all here, and it’s all being acted out by incredible actors who are really giving it their all. This may not be QT’s best, but I would argue it is the best example of the particular kind of leisurely, sharp-tongued fun that he does so very well.

The film is divided into two lopsided sections: the first 2 hours take place in February 1969, and the final 45 minutes take place in August 1969. Rick Dalton (DiCaprio) is trying to shake up his image by taking a new acting gig more seriously. Cliff Booth, his stunt man (Pitt), is running errands for Dalton and runs into a hippie girl (Margaret Qualley) who takes him back to the Manson family’s ranch. Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie) is also running errands and stops into a theater playing her film, The Wrecking Crew. It’s all a slice of life, setting up a mood and a time and place in a way that makes you feel nostalgic for a time that you (in my case) were never alive for.

Some thoughts:

One thing I loved was all the tv, movie, commercials, and songs included as artifacts to specifically build a sense of time and place. All of these things are woven into the fabric and the language of the film seamlessly - as a rabid consumer of culture, there’s no one better to distill and cultivate those cultural artifacts into a feeling than QT. Say what you will, QT is damn good at creating a #mood. I love all the details about how 1969 feels. Also these fake Rick Dalton movies are incredible.

I love seeing a couple of QT’s usual suspects - Michael Madsen! Zoe Bell (who was also the stunt coordinator on the film)!

I wish I had a gif of this Hullabaloo sequence on repeat behind my eyelids at all times, it brings me such great joy.

THIS MOVIE FEATURES THE BEST GOOD DOG OF ALL THE GOOD DOGS. Cliff’s dog Brandy is a giant red pit bull who is perfect and beautiful and so smart and so brave and I love her so much and want to bring her home with me and give her many face rubs and homemade dog treats. There are moments in which Brandy is in danger, but I promise you, Brandy emerges from the encounter A-OK.

What shocked me the most was probably how funny this was. Much, MUCH funnier than his last few movies. Also, I don’t think I heard the n-word once! Is this a kinder, softer QT? Hard to say.

I always thought Austin Powers’s outfits were an exaggeration, but based on Roman Polanski’s going-out outfit, I guess the whole velvet suit and lace cravat thing was very unfortunately real.

Speaking of, one detail I liked best is that Roman Polanski as a character doesn’t have like, any lines at all. Because NO ONE gives a shit what he has to say. Good call, QT.

No offense, but in what universe is Damian Lewis hot enough to play Steve Motherfucking McQueen?

Sharon Tate also has an excellent little grey floofy dog. There are many good dogs present and accounted for.

I know LA is a car city, but man...there are a lot of driving scenes. Like....too many driving scenes. This movie is 2 hr 41 min long. And don’t get me wrong, those long shots filled with 1969-era radio ads and songs and long, meandering drives through the Hollywood hills DO set the mood in a way that nothing else can but, I feel like we could have done some editing here nevertheless.

Sexuality is a confusing thing, man. I am happily married to Wife, and frankly I don’t feel the same kind of gut-level “oh no he/she is hot” reaction to ANYone like I did in my 20s anymore but. B U T. Shirtless, scar-covered Brad Pitt smoking a cigarette in work gloves may be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. That says more about me than it does about Brad Pitt, but like. Human beauty. What a time.

Mike Moh’s performance as Bruce Lee is both hilarious and extraordinarily committed in a visceral, physical way. His whole scene is a highlight of the film.

I’m half wondering if Trudi (Julia Butters), the young method actress who makes such an impression on Rick, is partially based in Leonardo DiCaprio’s own experiences as a child actor. He seems like the type to be uh. Real intense about THE CRAFT.

For as funny as most of the film is, my blood did run cold when Charles Manson (Damon Herriman) sees Sharon Tate for the first time. Oh also, lest you be misled like I was, Charles Manson is barely in this. The trailer makes it seem like he will be a heavy presence in the film, and the shadow of him certainly looms large, but for actual screentime, he barely cracks 2 minutes.

A small but significant thing - the footage of Sharon Tate’s film, The Wrecking Crew, has not been altered to put Margot Robbie in it. Instead, the real Sharon Tate’s performance is shown on screen. I appreciated her memory being preserved in this way.

Nothing takes me out of a QT movie faster than all these gross ass dirty feet. All of these hippie girls in the Manson family hate shoes and they live on a fucking ranch where everything is covered in dirt, it’s disgusting. I have no problem if YOU have a foot fetish, but my god man, does subjecting us to it have to be part of it??

My favorite line in the whole movie might be “Give me evil sexy Hamlet” because that is a vibe I wish there was more of in the world.

In many ways, this movie is a story about friendship and the ways it changes and guides our lives. The deep, intimate friendship between Rick and Cliff is almost like a marriage, and there’s a real sense of respect and care that they have for each other.

About 2 hours into the movie, I was thinking “Wow, you know, this really hasn’t been very violent at all for a QT movie” but then...

I really enjoyed the stinger at the end, featuring Rick hawking Red Apple cigarettes.

Did I Cry? At the very, very end. Mainly for Sharon Tate and the senseless violence that was done to her. This film is a love letter to her, a kind woman who did not deserve her fate.

This features a lot of QT classics with a lot of the rough edges sanded off. Oh sure there’s a lot of the fuck-words thrown around, and there is some sizable violence towards the end, but the whole thing feels downright wholesome in comparison to a bloodbath like Kill Bill or even Inglorious Basterds. QT is very good at what he does, and if you can handle a more meandering, softer touch, there’s no better way to spend a few hours at the movies than letting the magic of a Hollywood long gone sweep you away.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#119in2019 #once upon a time in hollywood #ouatih #once upon a time in hollywood review #quentin tarantino #leonardo dicaprio #brad pitt #margot robbie #margaret qualley #sharon tate #movie reviews #film review

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reedusdixonfictionaddiction · 7 years

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The Summer in Georgia

Chapter 12, The Station

Daryl pulled into the Sheriff’s station and parked next to Rick’s Bronco. They got out of his truck and headed inside. Isabella was incredibly nervous. She reached out and held onto Daryl’s arm, standing off to the side of him. Rick was in his office with another deputy, he saw them come in and waved for them to come back. Isabella was still holding onto Daryl’s arm when they got to Rick’s office. Daryl looked down at her and nodded, as if to say that it was ‘alright.’ She smiled at him hesitantly and let go.

“Hey, there she is. Miss America.” Rick exclaimed. “I was hoping Daryl would bring you down here.” He looked over at the deputy in his office and said, “Chris, this is Isabella the young lady I was telling you about.” He turned back to Isabella and said, “Isabella this is my right-hand man, Chris Jackson. He’s in charge when I’m not around. I couldn’t do my job without him.”

Chris laughed and held out his hand to greet Isabella. “It’s great to meet you. I hear you’re a college grad this year. Behavioral Science? Pretty impressive.”

“Thank you.” She answered, shaking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Chris was the undersheriff. He was a 6’4” black man with a gorgeous smile. He was Rick’s age and he had a degree in Criminal Justice from Georgia State University, where he played linebacker for their football team. He was married to a nurse named Yvette and they had one child, a 5-year-old son named Ricky. Named after Rick.

Isabella stared at him a minute, wondering why he seemed so familiar. Then she realized. He looked just like the movie actor, Morris Chestnut.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like…” She started when Chris cut in.

“… Morris Chestnut?” Chris said nodding his head, smiling.

“Yes!” she laughed.

“Who’s Morris Chestnut?” Daryl asked.

“He’s the guy that played Ricky in that movie, ‘The Boyz in the Hood’. Rick said. “and yes, he does. Ironically, that’s what his boy’s name is.” He continued.

“Oh yeah, he does.” Daryl said, nodding his head.

“My wife says, that’s the only reason she went out with me when we first met. Hey, he’s a good-looking guy, I consider that a compliment.” Chris winked. “But my boy’s named after Rick, here. Not the guy in the movie.” Rick puffed out his chest and smiled proudly.

“Come on Isabella, let me introduce you to everyone else that’s here right now.” Rick said, motioning her to follow him into the main area of the station. She smiled at Chris and then followed Rick and Daryl into the other room. He led her over to two other deputies who were busy talking by the coffee machine.

“Hey guys!” Rick said to the men. They turned and smiled. “This here’s Isabella, she’s staying with me this summer and she’s going to be working down here a few days a week. Say ‘hi’.”

One of them, a tall, blonde around 40ish held up his hand and waved ‘hi’.

“Hello, Isabella. I’m Edwin, but all my friends call me Jenner. So, I guess that’s what you’ll be calling me too.” He smiled.

The other man was Asian and in his early 20’s. He had a black eye, which told Isabella that he was the deputy that was assaulted the night before. He looked her up and down very obviously with a big smile.

“I’m Glenn Rhee and you can call me Glenn.” He said waving.

“Nice to meet you both.” Isabella responded.

Glenn looked at Daryl and raised his eyebrows and mouthed ‘WOW!’ Daryl just rolled his eyes. Rick took Isabella around and introduced her to everyone else, the receptionist, the dispatcher and the one jail guard that was on duty. Daryl stayed and continued talking to Jenner and Glenn.

“Looks like ya’ became someone’s bitch last night.” Daryl said lightly slapping Glenn on the face. Glenn slapped his hand away and scoffed.

“Damn Daryl! She is fine! Please tell me you noticed that ass. Cuz, damn! I sure did!” Glenn laughed, punching Daryl’s arm.

“Man, shut the fuck up.” Daryl said, rubbing his arm. “Why ya’ lookin’ asshole? Whattsa’ matter, Maggie not givin’ you no love? She finally come to her senses?” He laughed.

“Hell no! She loves me, man. How could she not?” Glenn said, flexing his muscle.

Daryl laughed and shook his head. “Phuh!” he said under his breath. “Just remember that, Short Round. That means keep your eyes off Isabella’s ass.” Daryl continued.

“Hey, I’m not married yet and I’m not dead, so I can look. What do they say? I can look at the menu, as long as I eat at home.” Glenn laughed. “Besides, what do you care?”

“I don’t, she’s just not like that. Ok?” Daryl said defensively.

“Not like what? I wasn’t saying anything bad about her, I was just pointing out the fact that she’s got a nice ass. Ohhhh! Wait a minute, wait a minute. You like her. Don’t you? Holy shit, Daryl likes a girl.” Glenn teased.

“Shut the fuck up.” Daryl growled.

Just then Charlie walked into the station.

“Hey Charlie.” Everyone said.

Rick and Isabella rejoined Daryl, as Charlie approached them.

Charlie had a big smile on his face when he saw Isabella. Daryl noticed the way he was looking at her and tried to step between them, but wasn’t fast enough.

Isabella smiled back. “Hi Charlie.” She said.

“Wow, Isabella. You look even more beautiful today than you did yesterday.” Charlie flirted.

Daryl’s face got hot and he glared. “No, she don’t. She looks the same.” Daryl said abruptly. Everyone went quiet and looked at Daryl, but no one said what they were all thinking. ‘WTF?’

“Uh, thank you Charlie.” Isabella said looking at Daryl.

At the same time, Glenn patted Daryl on the chest and whispered, “Smooth, dude. Real smooth.” He laughed and walked away.

Rick told Charlie he needed to talk to him. Charlie headed for Rick’s office and Rick followed, but not before looking at Daryl and shaking his head. Daryl felt like an idiot, once again. He hadn’t meant that she didn’t look more beautiful, he was just trying to shut down Charlie’s flirting. He kept putting his foot in his mouth, the harder he tried to play it cool, the more idiotic he came off. He smiled unsurely at her and tried to come up with yet, another apology.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Daryl said. “It’s just that… Well, you should… Charlie can be… Just watch out for him.” He finished quietly.

Isabella nodded her head, she was pretty sure she knew what Daryl meant. She was also hoping that maybe he was just a little bit jealous. Which he was. Daryl told her they should go, so she said ‘goodbye and nice meeting you’ to everyone, and they headed to Rick’s office to say ‘goodbye’ to him and Charlie. Daryl stood in the doorway between he and Isabella. Isabella took ahold of Daryl’s right arm again and stood beside him. Daryl smirked to himself, hoping Charlie was seeing how she was touching him. He did. Rick motioned to her come over to him and gave her a hug around the shoulders and she and Daryl were out the door, back in the truck and headed toward Daryl’s house.

As you drove down the hill that Rick’s house was on, you came to a fork in the road. Off to the right was the station and the main road into town. To the left was Pine Green Road. This was the road Daryl lived on. As they drove towards his house Isabella commented on how nice everyone was. She asked Daryl if he knew what kind of work she would be doing there. He told her he didn’t, but stated that he was sure she could handle it.

“Glenn looks so young.” Isabella commented. “Is he married?”

“Nah, but he’s got a girlfriend. Maggie. Rick’ll probably introduce ya’ to her. She’s nice, she just got outta’ college last year. You’d probably have some stuff in common, ya’ both bein’ smart and all.” Daryl answered. Isabella nodded her head. “Her dad’s a doctor at the hospital here. His name’s Hershel, Hershel Greene. They gotta’ farm out on Route 3. He’s a nice guy, you’d like him. Chris’s wife works with him. She’s a nurse.”

“Does Maggie have any brothers or sisters?” She asked.

“Yeah! She’s gotta’ little sister, Beth. He said annoyed. Maggie’s mom died a few years ago, so it’s just them three, plus Otis and his wife, Patricia. They work the farm for Hershel.” Daryl explained.

“Why did you say Beth that way.?” Isabella asked.

“She just... she’s always followin’ me around and shit. She’s a dumb kid.” Daryl answered.

“Sounds like she has a crush on you. How old is she? Is she pretty?” She asked.

“She ain’t beautiful, she’s alright, she’s kinda’ plain. She’s a 17 year old girl, but she looks like she’s 14.” He laughed.

Isabella was relieved. She didn’t want any competition coming between her and Daryl.

“So, she likes you?” She asked carefully.

“I don’t know. I guess. I don’t wanna’ talk about her. Maggie’s cool though. I think she’s 22. And Hershel? Well, he’s just good people. You’ll meet em’.”

“I look forward to it.” Isabella said enthusiastically. “Have you known Glenn long?”

“Nah, just a few years. He moved here from Michigan about 3 years ago. He was sposed ta’ go ta’ school, but he lost his financial aid. He was deliverin’ pizzas tryin’ to save up money ta’ go home and he met Maggie. So, insteada goin’ home, he stayed and joined the department. He’s a good guy, he’d give ya’ the shirt of his back if ya’ needed it. Maggie and him are sposed to get married next spring.”

“It sounds like he came for school, but stayed for love. That’s romantic.” Isabella said.

“I guess.” Daryl said flatly. “Don’t know much about romance and shit, but they’re good together.”

“I can’t wait to meet Maggie. What does she do?” Isabella asked.

“She helps work the farm, I think she wants ta’ be a vet or somethin’ with animals. I can’t remember. They got horses and cows and shit, so she helps take care of them and Hershel has a clinic he runs, when he’s not at the hospital and she works there with him too. She does a lot of different shit.” Daryl answered.

They’d been driving for about 20 minutes, so Isabella asked how far he lived from the station.

“About 13 miles. It takes a while cuz a this curvy road. We’re almost there. Why ya’ gotta’ pee or somethin’?” He laughed.

“No.” Isabella laughed. “I was just wondering. There’s so many trees out here. It’s beautiful.”

“Yep. We’re here, this is me on the right.” Daryl said, pulling into a dirt, circle drive.”

H(t~'5M'#�

#daryl dixon fan art #Carrion Trilevel #The Walking Dead #norman reedus #daryl dixon

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